


Forever After You Will Be My Home

by WakeUpDreaming



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Anything and everything related to pregnancy and babies, Baby, Baby Fic, Canon compliant to 2x21, F/M, Family Fluff, Gen, Just so much fluff man, Pregnancy, The Quintis Baby Fic, Toddlers, Weddings, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-05-14 04:49:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 76
Words: 291,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5730130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WakeUpDreaming/pseuds/WakeUpDreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Toby, I'm pregnant." Those three words change the lives of Happy, Toby, and the rest of the cyclone. When two geniuses try the parenting thing, there's bound to be chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pregnancy, testing 1-2-3

**Author's Note:**

> First off, thank you to Nisha and Anna for plotting/moral support, and for everybody on tumblr who has encouraged and pushed me to get this fic going! I'm having fun writing, so I hope you have fun reading.  
> Chapters look like they'll be anywhere from 2,000 to 6,000 words, depending on when it's appropriate to break, and the format is going to allow for wide ranges. Title is from Marianas Trench's "Dearly Departed", but the tone of the fic is definitely more "Good to You" or "Beside You."
> 
> And in light of recent events: hey, Eddie Kaye Thomas, if you're reading this, I hope you like babies and fluff.

“Oh, boy,” Happy mutters, falling against the wall of the Target bathroom. She feels a little faint, a little distracted, and a hell of a lot more terrified than she’s been in her life. She tries to remember Toby’s breathing suggestions. Inhale for seven, hold for four? It doesn’t sound right.

Instead she decides just to hold her breath for a moment, forcing herself to focus on next steps. It's a puzzle to solve, she decides. Just another puzzle.

It's not. This is so much more.

Happy's eyes fly open as she realizes that the only place she wants to be right now is with Toby. She can’t keep this to herself. She can’t handle this on her own. Happy's spent too much of her life doing things alone, and now that Toby's definitely partially at fault, he's needs to be part of her freak out.

Happy practically kicks open the bathroom door and shoves the test in her back pocket as she almost sprints toward her car, ignoring the confused looks of everyone around her.

The drive home consists of Happy blaring whatever pop songs are on the radio. She recognizes _Sledgehammer_ from Toby’s work out playlist, and somehow she notices she's smiling through the stress.

As nervous as she is, she realizes she has him: Toby's going to be there for her, whatever that means.

She exhales. “You better be home, Curtis,” she grumbles as she throws the truck in park.

Happy pushes open the door to the apartment she shares with Toby, the one that went from “mine” to “ours” only six months before, feeling unbridled panic flood through her when it hits her again just why she needed to get here so fast.

“Toby,” she says, a little too loudly, as she drops her jacket on the floor. “Where are you?”

“Sitting,” he says. She can hear that he's in the living room, and she practically slides across the floor to make it there. Toby's getting out of his arm chair lazily, looking content and confused. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m late,” she says. The panic is growing, consuming her like it did when she was younger and she overheard another conversation about somebody abandoning her again. But the kind of panic is different – she doesn’t just feel like she’s about to die. Happy feels like she’s about to die and simultaneously like everything is coming together.

It’s weird and Happy isn't sure how she feels about it.

Toby checks his watch. “Happy, the movie isn’t until 7:45,” he says. The poor guy looks confused. She knows the feeling. “And it’s only six.” He stares at her. “What’s going on?”

Happy groans. “Words. Hear them. Late. I am.” She's shaking so hard she can't even talk, in such a panic that her entire body has given up on functioning correctly.

“Heard the words,” Toby says, looking more confused than content now. “Not sure I understand them, Yoda.”

Happy groans and starts pacing. He’s the people person in this relationship. She doesn’t know why Toby can’t just look at her and read her mind or whatever behavioral analysis is.

Happy feels her face burning and realizes she’s overheating – is this something that happens? She shoves her sleeves up as she sits down on one of their dining room chairs. That’s a nice chair. They won’t have nice things for much longer. She breathes shakily. “Oh, god.”

Toby’s kneeling in front of her, eyes nearly level with her even though he’s on the ground. She wonders whose genetics would win – her height or his. “Happy?” he says. “I think you might be having a panic attack. Can you tell me where you are?”

“I’m in our kitchen and I feel like I’m dying, so don’t shrink me right now,” she says. Her voice is too angry, too sharp, but she can’t control it right now. There’s too much at stake, too much she has to say but can’t get out. “Toby. Listen to me.”

He nods and takes her hands in his. It’s too real when he looks at her like this, like she’s the only think he could ever imagine being this important.

That’s not going to be true for long.

“Okay, go ahead,” Toby says. “I’m here.”

She takes a deep breath, steadying herself, ready to explain what’s happening calmly, cleanly, with enough introduction that it doesn’t hit him like a bomb. “Toby, I’m pregnant.”

Smooth.

Toby’s eyes widen comically huge, and he loses his balance, falling on his butt on the kitchen floor. “Oh,” he says, extremely carefully. “Okay.”

“That’s an interesting response. Let’s try that again,” says Happy, pulling her hands from his and shaking them out, trying to rid herself of this hideous nervous energy. “I’m,” she begins, feeling a little sick, “pregnant.”

Toby nods repeatedly, like he’s trying to figure out exactly what Happy’s said. “You’re pregnant,” he repeats slowly. He’s clearly dazed, trying to process the words, and she knows it’s a lot to take in, but still. She needs him right now.

Happy’s half ready to punch him in his stupid face. She’s stressed out enough – she doesn’t need the anticipation of his reaction to kill her.

Then, suddenly, Toby’s face breaks into the biggest smile she’s ever seen. “Are we excited about this?” he asks. The smile falls as quickly as it appeared, like the smile was a break in Toby’s attempt at control. “Because this is up to you. I don’t – don’t let me influence your decision.”

Happy looks at him. “What decision?”

“About the,” he gestures to her. “Do you want to?”

She blinks. “Do I want to what?”

He sighs, clearly trying to hold something back. “Do you think you want to be a mom?”

The word hits her like a brick, and suddenly it seems more real, more immediate and daunting, than it ever has before. She considers it for a moment.

Parenthood means having someone depending on her every hour, every minute, having another person who needs her no matter how Happy’s feeling that day. It means late nights and baby puke and diapers, long hours with echoing sobs and PTA meetings with moms who will definitely judge her.

But it also means a chance at having the family she never thought she’d deserve.

“Do you want to be a dad?” she asks carefully.

Toby nods slowly, considering it. “I know I probably shouldn’t,” he begins, looking a little strange, “because everything about me screams irresponsible.” He leans forward, setting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “But god, Happy.” He’s quiet for a moment, like he's processing something.

“Is that a yes?” she asks, still treading lightly. She doesn’t know what to expect from him right now, because she’s never seen him this rattled before.

He lifts his head and lets the smile break through again, sunny and elated and so freaking optimistic it makes Happy think they might be able to do this. “I think I want to.” He exhales. “I don’t think before this moment I thought about kids, but – I want to be a dad. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it work.” He looks at her again, that expression he saves for when he’s about to tell her he loves her, and rests a hand on her knee. “If you’re in, I’m in.”

Happy lets herself smile, thanking everything in the world that Toby had the response she’d been praying for, that he’s going to be in this with her. This has never been her plan, never been how she saw her life going. Happy honestly expected to be alone, and finding the Cyclone was more than she had thought she’d earn. For years she was convinced that her childhood made her incapable of ever raising a kid without damaging them immediately, that, even though she considered it from time to time, the future she let herself think about only when she was feeling optimistic wouldn’t happen for her.

And then she and Toby happened. And they didn’t plan on each other, either.

But they found each other. And together, they might be able to navigate their way through being parents.

“Good,” Happy says after some time, “because I think we’re having a baby.”

Toby throws his arms around her, nearly knocking her off the chair.

“Careful, Doc,” she laughs. “Don’t want to break another chair.”

He laughs, kissing her gently. “Speaking of Doc,” he says, pulling her to standing. “Have you been to the doctor’s yet?”

“Not yet,” Happy says as he practically bounces. “I actually just took one test.” She reaches back to her pocket and pulls it out. “See? The most daunting plus sign in history.”

Toby looks down at it. “You had that in your pocket?” He frowns. “This whole time?”

She shrugs. “Kind of wasn’t thinking too straight.” She manages her first real smile without anxiety, because she can say the word without wanting to throw up. “I just found out I’m pregnant, you know.”

Toby studies her face. “We need to take another.”

“We?” Happy asks. “I don’t see you peeing on a stick.”

“Right,” Toby says. “We’re going to get some more tests. Just to be sure.”

“Some more” turned out to be six tests in four different brands.

“Toby, this is fifty dollars.” Happy stares down at the conveyor belt. “Why don’t we just go to a doctor today, again?"

She grins when Toby genuinely looks confused. “Because – I don’t know,” Toby says. “It's Sunday. We'd have to go to the emergency room, and that just seems excessive.” He gestures to her with the pregnancy tests. “Plus, if they’re all positive then, statistically, you’re probably pregnant.”

“Who are you, Sylvester?” Happy grumbles. “Statistically, you’re probably out of your mind.”

“Statistically, I might be a dad,” Toby says. “I want to be sure before I really get excited.”

Happy goes along with it, because Toby’s a little frantic right now and she’s not sure what else to do.

The cashier gives them a look. “Should I say congratulations?” she asks, looking concerned.

“I don’t know, that’s why we’re buying the sticks,” Toby says, a pointed look punctuating the words.

The cashier blushes and rings them out, and they run back into the car.

“Slow down. Doc,” Happy says as Toby slams the driver’s side door before she even reaches the handle. “If you’re going to be this manic with the tests, what are you going to be like if there’s a baby?”

He’s already buckled into the seat when Happy opens the door, leaning against the seat.

“Right,” Toby says, doing his special breathing thing, “calm. Collected. Oh, my god.” He drops his head against the steering wheel.

“And I thought I’d be the one freaking out,” Happy says. “Also, get out of my seat.”

They trade places and Happy drives home, and feels weirdly relieved at Toby’s meltdown. It would have been hell if they weren’t on the same page, but even worse if he’d been totally cool and collected like this was something he knew he could handle.

Plus, she’s never seen Toby lose his cool quite like this before. It’s a pretty interesting change.

“I’m good,” Toby says, more to himself than to Happy. He turns to her. “Any morning sickness? Dizziness or lightheadedness? Vasovagal syncope?”

“I’m going to pretend you just spoke English and say no across the board,” Happy replies. She can’t resist razzing him. “How about you?”

“You know, there’s a little queasiness going on,” he says, but he’s grinning when she sneaks a glance at a red light.

They’re quiet for a few minutes until Toby asks, “Without taking a test, how’d you figure it out?”

“Being a genius, it was pretty clear cut,” Happy says, trying to keep from being too sarcastic. “Did the math. It’s been a while since I had to buy tampons.”

Toby smacks his hand down on the center seat. “That explains it!”

Happy glares at him. “Don’t you dare make a crack about my mood.”

“No,” says Toby. “I saw you were running low so I picked up some tampons the last time I went grocery shopping. You never said anything, which I thought was weird.” He shrugs.

“That,” Happy says, “that is surprisingly observant. Thanks.”

He beams at her as the light changes.

They chat about nothing until they get home, but Happy can tell the both of them are anxious to get home.

Happy barely has time to throw the car in park before Toby’s grabbed the bag and gotten to their front door. Happy moves more slowly, and every step to her apartment is a wave of sheer panic that suffocates the optimism that had permeated the last hour.

“We missed the movie,” she says, a little dazed.

“Yeah, I know,” Toby replies, opening the first box. “But there’ll be other showings, right? We can go tomorrow."

“I mean, we missed,” Happy says, dropping into the chair closest to the door, “the movie. And we’re going to miss a lot more. Really soon, our entire lives are going to revolve around this screaming thing and the two of us are going to learn to hate each other and resent everything about each other until we break up or die. And we’re never going to see a movie again.”

Silence.

Happy looks up to see Toby frozen with a box in one hand and a sheet of paper in the other. He’s clearly waiting for her to speak, but she doesn’t know what to say.

“We don’t have to do this,” Toby finally says after an agonizingly long time. “If you don’t want to, it’s not happening.”

“I don’t want to resent you,” Happy says quietly, because after all this time she's still a little sure he's going to decide she's too damaged to handle.

“Okay,” Toby says, dropping everything on the table to walk over to her. “But consider this: we won’t resent each other. That could definitely happen, too." His smile is comfortingly steady. "But if you get unsure – if you ever change your mind – that’s up to you. If you don’t want this, then we don’t do this.”

Happy considers it. There’s options. Having a kid isn’t the end all, be all here. She could end this right here, right now, and they won’t miss another movie.

She startles herself when she realizes doesn’t want it to be over. She damn well wants to have a kid, no matter the consequences.

“I’m sure,” Happy says. “I might hate you every once in a while, but I think that might happen with or without a kid.”

Toby smiles at her. “Come on," he says, pressing his lips to her forehead, "sometimes you hated me before we were even dating. It's part of our charm.”

She leans in, resting her head on his chest as he wraps his arms around her. She feels safe with him, always has. They can do this. “I definitely want to have this baby,” Happy says, tilting her head up. “If you’re in, I’m in.”

Toby nods. “I’m in,” he confirms. “And we can always rent movies.” A tiny smile escapes from his lips.

Happy smiles back at him, the panic subsiding with his arms and support around her. “So," she says, her breathing steady after a few minutes, "let’s go get this confirmed.”

“We need to chug water first,” Toby says.

“We need to what?”

He gestures to the mountain of pregnancy tests on the table. “You think you can take care of all of these with your microbladder? Yeah, right.”

“Microbladder?!” Happy exclaims.

Toby looks at her. “We’ve been living together for long enough that I’ve noticed these things.”

“Fine, but we?” Happy asks, because it’s an argument for another day. “Again, you’re not peeing on a stick.”

“Solidarity, sweetheart. Whatever you do, I’ll do. You have to chug water, I’ll chug it. You have to go to an appointment, I go.” He walks around the table and kisses her. “Team work.”

Happy scoffs. “Yeah. Say that during labor.”

Three glasses of water and twenty minutes later, they’re looking at six plus signs.

“So,” Toby says. “We’re having a baby.”

Happy nods slowly. “That,” she says, “we are.”


	2. Pregnancy, Week 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order to confirm her pregnancy, Happy and Toby go to the doctor's office, which triggers unexpected worries in both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning: there is discussion of pregnancy and childbirth complications.

Toby’s knee is bouncing so goddamn much in the waiting room that Happy presses her hand down on it, just to try and get him to stop. In the eighteen or so hours since they found out, since those tests came out positive, Toby’s been flitting between panicking wreck and overexcited puppy. Happy’s been trying to hold it together for the two of them. As much as she tries to maintain a façade of control, she’s not doing a great job of it.

“Quit it,” Happy says under her breath. “You’re driving me insane.”

“I’m anxious and nervous and have to dispel the energy somewhere,” Toby replies, grabbing her hand. “It’s either the knee or I start babbling.”

Happy lets him squeeze at her hand for a second. “Why are you this anxious?” she asks, filling out the eighth page of paperwork. “I’m the one who’ll be growing a human.”

Toby looks at her. “Because I know way too much about pregnancy, and I’m a doctor, and,” he shrugs. “Every once in a while I realize I’m probably going to be a dad and it freaks me out.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Relax,” she says, because she’s thought about it all of this, too. “We’ll be fine.” She doesn’t add the “probably” hovering in her brain.

Toby’s expression changes to something almost ashamed. “I should be the one reassuring you,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

Happy shakes her head, finishing the last page of the packet. “I’ve always been the tough one,” she jokes, bumping his shoulder. “Besides, I have a feeling you’ll be the cool and collected one when the kid’s popping out.”

“I better be,” Toby says. He’s quiet for a minute, and Happy realizes he’s doing his controlled breathing.

“Almost okay, Doc?” she asks.

“Getting there.” Within about a minute, he’s calmed down and slumping against the seat.

“You’d think, as a doctor, I’d be able to chill out better,” he mutters.

“You’d think they, as doctors, would keep their appointments on time,” Happy grumbles, checking her watch.

Eventually, though, after the two of them plow through three word searches in the magazines sitting on the coffee table, a pleasant voice calls, “Happy Quinn?”

“Alright,” says Toby, finally smiling, “let’s do this.”

“We’re not boxing, Toby, we’re going to a check up.”

Happy nods at the nurse, who introduces herself as, “Miranda.” She hands her the paperwork.

"Happy, and Toby, good to meet you," she says.

“Nice to meet you too, Miranda,” Toby nods to her. “I’m Toby and this is Happy.”

“I think she knows that, sport,” Happy says, looking at him pointedly.

Toby takes a half step back. “Right.”

Miranda checks Happy's weight and height, then leads the two of them into an examination room. She checks Happy’s vitals and then says, “We’ll have you go to the lab briefly to take blood so we can confirm your pregnancy.” Her smile is a little forced, like this is the first good news she’s been able to give all day, and it makes Happy a little uncomfortable.

“Okay,” Happy says hesitantly. She sends a smile over to Toby. “Here goes nothing.”

Happy’s never had much of a problem with people taking her blood, so she sits in silence as the phlebotomist sticks in the needle and chats aimlessly.

“And, you’re all ready!” she says with a grin. It’s genuine, positive, and Happy can’t believe the differences in attitude from person to person. “We’ll know fairly soon.”

Happy thanks her and walks out of the room to see Miranda standing there. Happy jumps half a foot.

“Sorry!” Miranda exclaims. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I’m just here to show you the way back.”

Happy nods. “How long does it usually take for the test to come back?” she asks.

“Generally, one to three days,” Miranda says, pushing open the door, “but your results are being rushed.”

Happy looks at here a little skeptically as she steps through the doorway. “Any reason?”

“Personal favor,” Miranda says. “Dr. Morneau will be right in with you.”

Happy eyes him. “Want to explain this ‘personal favor’ business to me?” she asks, hopping up on the table. "Because this has Toby Curtis written all over it."

“Oh,” says Toby. “One of my buddies from med school went into pediatrics, so I asked him who the best OB/GYN in the area was.” He nods to the door. “And Dr. Elena Morneau was the first name he came up with. She’s great, apparently.”

“And how the hell did you manage to rush the blood test?” Happy asks.

Toby shrugs. “Dr. Morneau might be married to said med school buddy and he requested that they sort of expedite all possible processes.”

Happy raises her eyebrows. “Damn,” she says, “you’ve got connections.”

“Well,” Toby says, leaning back in his chair with this smug grin on his face, “I try not to brag, but I’m kind of a big thing in the medical community."

Happy smiles at him and they’re quiet for a moment. She’s swinging her legs so they bounce against the metal, and she wonders exactly why she has to sit on this crinkly paper if she’s not currently doing the doctor thing.

They wait so long that, every time Happy hears footsteps pass the door, she looks up, both anxious and ready to see the doctor walk in with the results.

“You okay?” Toby asks quietly.

Happy nods. “Yeah, just,” she nods toward the door. “Waiting sucks.”

He nods. “It seems like the next few months are going to have a lot of that.” He’s face breaks into a smile. “Hey,” he says, “we’re about to find out if you’re pregnant.”

“Yep,” Happy replies. As much as he’s unsure, she already knows – she’s pregnant. And it’s not just the statistical probability of the test. She just knows and there’s no doubt in her mind. “But I’m pretty certain that I am. And you don’t seem so sure now, Mr. Statistics.”

“Well, I got excited for it!” Toby says. “When I get excited for things, they usually go south pretty quickly.”

Happy stares at him. “God, that’s morbid.”

“It’s true,” he says. “You’re the first thing I didn’t fuck up.”

“Well,” says Happy, because it’s impossible not to tease him, because teasing Toby is what she does every day and she wants to feel like this is every day, “you did sleep through that date.”

“Oh, god,” Toby groans, slumping down in his seat. “I’m never living that down, am I.”

“You probably shouldn’t live it down,” Happy says, grinning. “Especially since you were an asshole after I brought you back to life that one time.”

“I saved your life too!” Toby says, kicking at her foot. “Almost died doing it!”

Happy shrugs. “I wasn’t an asshole though.” She punctuates it with a grin.

“Okay, but Chet,” Toby says. “Chet was an asshole moment.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Oh, my god, it’s not my fault you read into everything wrong!”

“How was I supposed to guess comedy club?” Toby asks.

“You know my eidetic memory thing, as you call it?” Happy says.

Toby nods.

“Yeah, this is the thirtieth time we’ve discussed the Chet thing.” She leans forward, grinning at him. “Get over it, dope.”

Toby stares at her. “We’re going to be the weirdest parents,” he says after a few moments, this pleased and dazed look on his face.

Happy nods. “Was there ever any doubt about that?” she replies. “I mean, look at us.”

He looks her up and down. “I’m pretty happy with what I see.”

“Not what I meant,” Happy deadpans.

Toby stands and kisses her, softly with a hand resting against her neck.

“What was that for?” Happy asks when he pulls away.

Toby shrugs. “For being awesome.”

She rests her forehead against his, glad that he's here, that he's hers. That they can do this together. “Can’t argue with that,” Happy says.

There’s a knock on the door and they spring apart as the doctor walks in.

“Hi, Happy,” she says, smile sunny and welcoming. Happy immediately loses her defenses, because this lady is kind and soft with none of the elitist MD vibe that some of Toby's other friends give off. “I’m Dr. Morneau. It’s good to meet finally meet you.”

“You, too,” Happy says, shaking her hand. “And thank you. I heard that you’ve streamlined some of the testing.”

“I was told that you were with one of my husband’s oldest friends.” She nods over to Toby. “Dr. Tobias Curtis, I presume.” Toby waves. “And I wanted to do what I could.”

“We greatly appreciate it,” Toby says. “And give Rick a hug from me.”

Dr. Mornea smiles. “So,” she begins, “first things first. Let’s see if congratulations are in order, shall we?”

She pulls out a sheet of paper from the file. “You, Ms. Quinn,” she says, smiling at them, “are definitely pregnant.”

Happy had been nervous about her reaction. She’d worried that she would be scared, horrified, at the news that it was happening, that the moment it was confirmed she would go back on her decision and would break Toby’s heart.

Instead, she feels an unexpected combination of anxiety and excitement well in her stomach as she says, “Thank god.”

Toby leans in to kiss her temple. “See? Statistics win again.”

Dr. Morneau smiles at them. “Congratulations,” she says with a smile. “Now, to the less fun part.”

Though they like Dr. Morneau and she makes them as comfortable as possible, Happy hates this next part more than she’s hated most things in her life. There are a million questions about her family history, health, background that Happy can’t answer. “I don’t know,” she says about thirty times, “I was a foster kid.”

“Do you have any documentation about childhood illnesses, vaccinations?” Dr. Morneau asks, looking concerned.

Happy shakes her head. “Once I became an emancipated minor, I just left everything at the orphanage. Didn’t bring much with me.” She doesn’t meet Dr. Morneau’s eyes and avoid’s Toby’s gaze. “Actually, I didn’t even finish high school, so I never needed that kind of paperwork for college.”

When she looks up, Dr. Morneau is writing information without judgement, and Toby’s smiling at her.

“Hey, that’s not going to happen to our kid, okay?” Toby assures her. He sounds so certain, so convinced of a positive outcome, that Happy almost feels like she’s doing something wrong by worrying about it. “And even without a background for you, we have my family.”

“That’s a consolation,” Happy grumbles.

Toby sighs. “You're not wrong."

Dr. Morneau turns to Toby. “And now, for the father’s family history.”

Toby rattles off information for ten straight minutes, his mother’s bipolar disorder, his father’s depression and gambling addiction. Happy finds out that Toby had a rather bad reaction to chicken pox as an infant, broke three bones before the age of six because he was trying to ride his bike on his own. But Happy’s comforted to find out that there aren’t any medical or physical problems in Toby’s family history, not even a heart attack.

“And now for childbirth,” Dr. Morneau says, after writing frantically as Toby spoke. “Can you tell me what happened when you were born, Happy?”

It’s the question Happy had been dreading. “She died,” Happy says. “My mom died giving birth to me.”

It’s the first time she sees the calm expression falter on Dr. Morneau’s face. “That’s a very important detail,” she says, reverting back into her distant, calm demeanor. “Do you know any specifics regarding the exact complication?”

Happy shrugs. “According to my dad, she bled out. Something got – caught?” She shrugs. “My dad didn’t know much. I think he forgot a lot on purpose.”

“The placenta possibly detached,” Dr. Morneau absent mindedly notes. “Maybe a hemorrhagic tear.”

Happy feels sick at the words. She knows they’re clinical terms, knows that it’s important to keep it in mind, but, god, she didn’t need to hear them. Not now. Not yet.

“That’s not going to happen,” Toby says, sounding so certain it makes her wonder just how far he’d go to keep her safe. “Medical advances in the past 25 years have been astronomical, and the people we’ll have as our team are going to be just as incredible." He rubs her back. "We don’t need to worry about that.”

Dr. Morneau, who seems to have noticed Happy’s sudden change, nods. “You’re young and you’re strong,” she assures Happy. “And from day one, we’ll have a group of great doctors set up to make sure that, should any concern arise, we take care of you and the baby, okay? We’ll keep a close eye on you to make sure there aren’t any concerns in your pregnancy.” Her smile is kind and comforting, and the last few questions are less invasive, more related to their plans for once the baby is born. Happy isn’t sure the questions are anything more than a shift in tone, a way to force Happy and Toby out of the negative energy that had permeated the past few minutes.

Toby, apparently, takes the opportunity to start talking about every idea that’s popped into his head. “I think we’ll turn my office into a nursery. I don’t need it.” He nods over at Happy. “Thoughts?”

“I’m still trying to adjust to being pregnant,” she replies, a little overwhelmed. “That’s a lot further than I’ve even thought about.”

A few minutes later Dr. Morneau calls in an ultrasound tech, who rattles off the ultrasound procedure and shuffles the three of them into the ultrasound room.

“We’ll be using some gel on your stomach to get the best picture of the fetus,” the tech says, without even introducing himself. “Dr. Morneau will be interpreting what you see, so don’t worry if it looks shapeless.”

Dr. Morneau starts running her hands on Happy’s belly, and all Happy can think about is how the only person whose hands she wants to be on her is Toby and he’s been shuffled to the back of the room sometime between their entrance into the room and now.

“Hey, I know you people are the experts,” Happy says, propping herself up on her elbows as the ultrasound tech starts prepping her stomach, “but you think my boyfriend could be over here?”

They look almost startled. “Of course,” says the tech. “Hadn’t even realized he wasn’t here.”

Toby gets a space to step through to stand next to Happy, immediately taking her hand. It's the strangest habit he has - taking her hand whenever he's nervous. When they first started dating, she wasn't a fan, but now? It's nice to have an anchor. “Didn’t want to get in the way, but thanks for that,” he mutters.

She shrugs. “If I’m getting groped by strangers, I need you to keep me from strangling someone.”

“Romantic,” Toby deadpans.

“So,” says Dr. Morneau. “Are you ready to see your baby?”

Toby’s eyes widen. “Oh, god,” he says. “Actually? Seeing the baby?”

Happy nods. “Cool off, Doc,” she says, unable to hold back a little smile. “It’s only a clump of cells at this point.”

“Yeah, but it’s our clump of cells,” Toby adds. “That will turn into a living, breathing person soon.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Interesting way to put it.”

There’s an ultrasound wand and some explanation, but Happy just watches the tech’s hand as she presses the wand to her skin. It feels weird – not cold, but strange. She’s pretty sure she hates it.

Toby rubs the back of her hand gently, like he can tell she’s uncomfortable. He probably can – some microexpression or something. Happy exhales.

“And if you look there,” says Dr. Morneau, pointing to the screen, “you’ll see your baby.”

Happy assumes she means the little smudge on the screen that looks a little like a bean. She’s rather unimpressed, as it feels more surreal than anything, but Toby makes this little hiccupping sound.

“You good, Doc?” Happy asks.

He nods. “I’m fine." He looks up. "How far along?”

“About two months,” Dr. Morneau says. “You can tell by the size.” She starts to explain measurements, but Toby interrupts her.

“Two months?” Toby asks the doctor. He turns to Happy. “What happened two –“ he cuts himself off when Happy shoots him a look. “Oh. _Oh_.”

Happy fights back a laugh. “Yeah,” she says. “I’m thinking probably about nine weeks.” She says it meaningfully, trying to get him to cool down.

Toby can’t though, and does the exact opposite, the blush crawling up his cheeks. “Oh,” he repeats a little sheepishly. She can tell that both of them are remembering the night – apparently “risk it” was a bad move – and she has to break eye contact before she gets stupid. Happy New Year to them, indeed.

Dr. Morneau stares at them, and Happy kind of thinks they deserve it. “Anyway,” she says. “That’s the baby. And there’s the heartbeat.”

Happy hears a little sniffle, so she turns to him, only to see him grabbing a tissue. “Doc, are you crying?”

“No,” he lies. “Yes.” He grips Happy’s hand like a lifeline.

Happy smiles at him. “You want to talk about it?” she asks, using his line.

He shrugs. “That’s our baby. But I’m cool. I’m fine.” He kisses her hand. “Oh, my god.”

“Oh, you get to be all giddy,” she mumbles. “I’m stuck on a table with gel all over me.”

“Well,” Dr. Morneau says, clearly trying to redirect the conversation to end the appointment, “your baby is doing just fine. Healthy size, healthy heartbeat. He or she is developing appropriately.” She smiles at them. “So if you know the date of conception –”

"We do," Happy says. "How long is it from conception to due date?"

“About 280 days,” Toby tells Happy.

She’s no Sylvester, but she’s got the date immediately. “October 7th,” Happy states. "That's the due date."

The ultrasound tech blinks. “You just did that in your head?” he asks. “What are you, some sort of beautiful mind genius kind of thing?”

“Yes,” Happy replies flatly.

Dr. Morneau. “Well then,” she says, moving the wand, “if you look there, that’s the head and the body.” She points out random blobs on the blob.

“Looks like an alien,” Happy mentions after a few moments of silence pass.

“Don’t call my kid an alien!” Toby exclaims, pouting.

“Am I wrong? Look,” Happy nods at the screen. “Little alien.”

“We’re not nicknaming our kid alien,” Toby says very seriously. “Quit it.”

“What if it comes out like a lizard or something,” Happy says, enjoying making Toby uncomfortable. “We could have a lizard baby.”

“I hate you,” Toby mumbles, but there’s still a little laughter in his tone.

“No you don’t,” Happy says back, and he kisses her forehead.

“No,” he says, “I really don’t.”

“We’ll give you two a minute,” says Dr. Morneau, offering them a smile to them and shooting a meaningful look to the ultrasound tech. He freezes a screen so that the last shot is of the baby, and they leave the room.

When the door closes, Toby leans down and kisses Happy with a smile on his lips. “We just,” he laughs against her lips, “we just saw our baby for the first time. It’s real.”

“Still doesn’t feel real,” Happy says, resting her hand on her stomach. “Oh, god. Ew.”

“Ew?”

She holds up her hand. “Ultrasound gunk.”

Happy wipes herself off with a paper towel. “I can’t believe you knocked me up on New Year’s Eve,” she says, tossing her towel in the trash. “For two geniuses, we’re pretty dumb.”

“We’re risky,” Toby corrects. “And that one risk turned out to be worth it, right?”

“I’d say so,” Happy replies, but she’s smiling and she can’t stop. The past twenty-four hours have been a damn emotional rollercoaster, and she tries not to think about how that's probably just going to escalate as times goes on.

Once she has herself mopped up, Toby pokes his head out the door and calls for Dr. Morneau, who comes back in and walks them back into the exam room. Happy’s beginning to wonder why this place doesn’t just streamline all of this stuff in one room, though she won't complain. She has an inkling that Dr. Morneau is doing more than the OB/GYN usually does because of the connection and she's not going to argue with it.

There are ten more minutes of lists and papers and names of vitamins that Happy just nods at. This is the part that freaks her out the most – taking care of the baby. It makes her think a little too hard about just how much she could fail in this whole parenting thing.

“Alright,” Dr. Morneau says with her same sunny smile, “that’s about it, Do you have any questions?”

Toby turns to Happy. “I think we’ve got it pretty much down. You?”

She nods. “Yeah,” she lies through her teeth, “I’m fine. But we can always call with questions, right? Or, I guess, go online –”

“Never check online,” Dr. Morneau warns. “Call us. We have a hotline for pregnancy concerns, and here,” she writes something down. “This is my personal cell number. You call me any time you’re worried.”

“No,” says Happy, “I can’t –”

“Please,” Dr. Morneau interrupts. She smiles. “My husband was so excited to see Toby, and I quote, ‘got his shit together enough to find somebody too good for him.’ Every patient is important to me, but you're special. And," she turns to Toby, "Rick will insist that Toby's kid and girlfriend are taken care of to the best of my abilities.”

Toby smiles. "Rick only passed his anatomy classes because he cheated off my papers. He owes me." As much of a joke as Toby's tone is, his smile is sincere and steady.

Happy takes the sheet of paper. “Thank you."

Dr. Morneau nods. “Any time, okay?”

Happy nods, and they make their way out of the office to the car.

“That never happens, right?” Happy asks Toby. “Like, doctors never give out their home number.”

“Not usually,” says Toby. “But this is a special case.”

As much as Happy knows he means that Toby and Rick are friends, she can’t help but worry that the reason she got that phone number was because Dr. Morneau is secretly seriously concerned about the baby.

On the drive home, her worries have started cluttering her mind beyond her ability to push them away. She wonders if there was anything that happened to her as a child she's forgotten that cold impact her pregnancy, some illness that would hurt the child, some residual internal damage from some of the physical abuse she survived at the hands of some foster families.

It doesn’t take long before Happy realizes her hands are shaking uncontrollably, to the point where she has to firmly grip the steering wheel to try and ground herself.

“You good, Hap?” Toby asks quietly. He’s using his doctor voice – he knows something’s wrong.

She nods. “Yeah, I’m good,” she insists. “I’m fine. Just a little jittery, that’s all.” She feels like she's deprived of oxygen, despite her gasps to suck in air.

“You just drove past the pharmacy,” he mentions, his voice more worried. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

In that moment, Happy realizes she can’t hide, can’t shake this off, can’t pull away from Toby when she’s scared. Not anymore. There's too much at stake. It's not just about her anymore. “Nope,” Happy finally admits, the shakes flooding through her whole body. “I’m pulling over.”

She turns into a gas station, something that looks a little empty and sketchy, but she can’t think about that right now. There’s too much fear, panic, anxiety washing through her.

“Hey, whoa,” says Toby. “Talk to me.”

“Can’t,” Happy says, familiar panic choking her.

“Okay,” says Toby. “Then we’ll figure something else out.” Toby throws the car in park, because apparently Happy forgot to do that, and jumps out of the car until he gets to her car door. He opens it, unbuckles her seat belt, and holds her face in his hands. Happy forces herself to focus on his eyes, because he’s here, he’s solid. If she looks at him, maybe she can convince herself that she’s safe.

“Oh, god, I’m pregnant,” she finally manages, “how the hell am I supposed to do this? What if I,” she trails off. “Toby, what if I can’t?”

“Happy,” he says very seriously, “if this isn’t something you want to do, if you don’t feel ready or you don’t want to be a parent, you tell me. This is your call, not mine.”

“But that – that’s the thing,” she says, breathing more easily now that she can feel Toby’s eyes on her, his hands steadying her, “I do. And I think that’s what’s scaring me.” She closes her eyes. “That it’s actually happening.”

When she opens her eyes again, Toby’s face breaks into a smile. “Can I tell you something, Hap?”

She nods, and rests her hands on top of his where they’ve settled on her thighs.

“I’m fucking terrified,” he says. “Absolutely terrified." That's when she sees the fear behind his eyes, something that she's sure he's seeing in her eyes. "I’ve never been this scared in my life. But it’s the first time that I’m happy being scared. It’s weird, but…” He turns his hands to hold onto hers. “I think it’s a good fear.”

She nods. "I think that's where I am right now."

Toby stays in front of her for a couple more seconds, coaching her through the breathing technique – she’s been doing it wrong, four in, seven hold, eight out – until Happy’s settled and the panic has ebbed.

“You okay?” Toby asks.

She manages a smile. “Are you?” Happy shoots back.

He shrugs. “I think I’m good." He nods. "For now. Once we get further along, I'm just going to be honest with you, I'm probably going to lose it."

"Then it's a good thing we're in this together." She leans in to kiss him. “Thanks for always being there.”

He lets her step out of the car, then pulls her into a hug. “Thanks for always being amazing.”

They make it to the store and Happy's not quite prepared to drop the obscene amount of money on prenatal vitamins and everything else on the list the doctor had handed them.

“Am I really going to need this?” Happy asks, holding up the BioOil. “What’s it even do?”

Toby shrugs. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m flying by the seat of my pants here. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Yeah,” says Happy, “but you’re a doctor. You should know what you’re doing.”

He shakes a bottle of vitamins at her. “Psychiatry? Cake. You have a depressive disorder or something wrong chemically in your head, I can take care of that. These?” He looks at the label. “I don’t even know what the hell thiamine is.”

Happy grabs it from him. “Learn to read, dummy,” she says. “It’s a B vitamin that helps with brain development.” She studies it. "According to this, at least."

He stares at her. “You just have to be smarter than me, don’t you.”

Happy grins. “I don’t have to be. I just am.”

As they debate between two vitamin brands, Happy’s phone rings.

“Yeah, Paige,” she answers.

“Can you guys come to the garage within the hour?" she asks, sounding flustered. "We have a case.”

Happy rests the phone against her shoulder. “Hey, doc,” she says, “can we be at the garage within an hour?”

“Probably,” he says. “Hey, which one of these vitamins should we –” He shuts up when Happy makes a cutting gesture across her neck. “Right. Yes. We can be there.”

“We’ll be there by twelve,” Happy assures Paige.

When she hangs up, Toby’s still looking between the two brands. “Any reason for the throat slicing?”

“We can’t tell them yet,” Happy says, weirdly certain of this.

“We can’t?”

“No,” Happy insists. “Not yet.”

He tosses one of the vitamin containers into the basket. “Any reason?” he asks.

She's quiet for a moment. “There was this girl I knew,” Happy says, kicking at the bottom of the shelves, “when I was working at the chop shop as a teenager. She was married to one of the owners, and she told everyone the day she found out she was pregnant.” She picks up the first thing in her line of sight, something to focus on as she speaks. “And then three weeks later, she stopped smiling. And everyone knew why.” Happy bites the inside of her cheek, determined to hold it together in the middle of a drug store. She looks up at him. “Just in case,” she says, “I want to wait until I’m in my second trimester. I don’t want to jinx it.”

Toby smiles at her. “You, Happy Quinn, are worrying about superstition?”

“No,” she replies, “I’m worried about a miscarriage.”

Toby’s smile falls, his face growing serious. “And we’re going to do everything to make sure you will never have to go through that,” he says, with such conviction that Happy almost believes him. He leans forward and kisses her forehead. When he pulls away, he rests his hand on her stomach for the first time.

“You hear me, baby?” he says quietly. “We’re too excited to meet you. You can do this, okay?”

Happy manages a smile. “Are you talking to my stomach in a drug store?”

“No,” Toby replies, sneaking a kiss to her cheek. “I’m talking to our baby.”


	3. Pregnancy, Week 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Happy and Toby watch Pacific Rim, go on a case, and talk baby names.

The first time it happens, they’re making out on the couch while watching Pacific Rim. Mostly, Happy’s watching Pacific Rim over Toby’s shoulder. Pentecost and Chuck are saying goodbye to their families, and all of a sudden this wave of emotion hits her when Chuck says goodbye to Max. She manages to shake it off and fades back into the way Toby’s kissing her neck and down a little further, his hands on the bare skin of her hips.

She lets herself fade into the moment, the way Toby’s fingertips start to dip into the waistband of her jeans. She can hardly breathe as he touches her, and all she wants is for him to never him stop.

Then, she hears it. “You can always find me in the drift.”

And the tears start. She doesn’t feel all that sad, more annoyed that she can't keep these ridiculous emotions in check, so she tries to control it. But the more she tries to manage it, the more it hits her, and the more she can’t hold it together.

But, unfortunately, Toby notices.

“Are you crying?!” Toby exclaims. “What's -"

“Don't,” Happy says. "Don't say anything."

"Are you okay?" Toby asks, bewildered.

Happy nods. "I'm good. I'm fine."

He stares at her for a second as she wipes at her eyes. "Was it the movie?"

Happy nods. “Yeah, but what the hell? I’ve seen this movie thirty times.”

“Hormones,” Toby explains. “It happens. I had a colleague who cried every time she saw a puppy when she was pregnant. It was automatic."

“Yeah, well, this is bullshit,” Happy says, wiping at her eyes. “I don’t cry.”

“You don’t,” Toby agrees, “but the kid is apparently pretty attached to Pentecost.”

“Everyone should be,” Happy insists. “He’s awesome.” She grabs a tissue from the box Toby hands her and blows her nose. “But this is ridiculous.”

“It’s kind of funny,” Toby says, and Happy shoots him a look. He immediately backs down. “Don’t hurt me,” he says with a tiny smile.

"Mention this to anyone, and you're dead," Happy says.

“Yes, ma’am,” Toby agrees. “Speaking of speaking…”

“Soon,” she says. “Soon. I just don’t want to risk saying something and –”

“I get it,” says Toby. He looks at her for a second, clearly trying not to smile. “No jinxing.”

She nods. Happy's laughed at people who believed in superstition, but when the odds feel so against her like right now, Happy's willing to throw in with witchcraft if it gives her an edge. Whatever she can do to keep the kid healthy and alive, she'll do it.

Toby reaches out to her, brushing a thumb against her cheek. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Happy says, pulling him back on top of her, “I’ve been good this whole time. Now go back to what you were doing.”

Toby grins at her and presses a kiss to her lips, hands going for the button on Happy’s jeans and, god, finally. The past few weeks have been jam packed with cases and jobs and so much work, and she hasn’t been able to touch him for more than a few fleeting minutes for too damn long.

He grabs her thighs and she takes the hint, shifting until she’s settled on his lap. Her shirt’s long gone and her bra follows, Toby’s lips doing wonders against her skin while she holds him to her.

“Clothes,” Happy mumbles, “off. Now.”

“Good plan,” he says. His hands go for her jeans as she pulls at his shirt. She kicks off her jeans and throws his shirt somewhere in the living room, desperate to feel his skin against hers again.

Things are just about to get interesting, Happy’s playlist turned to full volume, when they get a phone call.

Toby groans, dropping his head against the couch. “Every time,” he says. “How does this happen every time?”

Happy leans over to the side table where her jeans are pooled and grabs her phone. “This better be good,” she grumbles.

“Good's not the word I'd use," Paige replies. "There’s a crisis. Can you be here in fifteen minutes?”

Toby groans again, scrubbing his face with his hands.

“Do we have to be?” Happy asks, a tiny whine in the back of her throat.

“Yeah,” Paige says. “It’s kind of a big problem. That's why I used the word crisis.”

“Fine,” Happy says. “We’ll see you soon.”

“Is that Arctic Monkeys in the background?” Paige asks, bewildered. “What are you – oh, god. Wow. Sorry. Just get here when you can.”

Toby sneaks in a few more toe-curling kisses before they throw on their clothes and toss themselves into the front seats of Happy’s truck.

“Wait,” says Toby. “I forgot something.”

Happy turns to him, and Toby kisses her one last time.

“That’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever done,” Happy says, pulling out of the parking lot.

Toby settles back in his seat, grinning. “I know. I’m good at cheesy.”

“You’re telling me.”

Paige walks up to Happy the second she walks into the garage. “Oh, thank god you’re here,” Paige says. “Can I –?” Apparently Happy doesn’t even get to answer, because Paige grabs her arm and drags her next to the bathroom.

“What are you –”

“Do you have a tampon?” Paige asks.

“No,” Happy realizes. “Definitely not.”

Paige stares at her. “Why definitely?”

Happy can’t keep the realization of her slip up from her face, but tries to cover it. “I just left, um. I left my bag at home.”

“No you didn’t,” Paige says knowingly, “it’s on the couch.” She stares at her, the way she does when she’s practically reading you like a book, and Happy tries to hide from Paige, cover something up. It doesn’t work.

“Oh my god,” Paige says slowly. “No way.”

Happy looks over at Toby in a panic, but he’s already deep in conversation with Cabe and Walter.

“Oh my god,” Paige says again. “You’re –”

“Quiet!” Happy hisses.

Paige’s eyes grow comically wide. “You’re actually –”

“Yes, now shut up before I have to kill you.” Happy looks around. “We aren’t telling anybody yet, so keep your mouth shut.” She realizes she’s grabbed the front of Paige’s shirt, and releases her slowly, trying to pretend she’s more put together than she really feels. “To everyone.”

Paige nods, still looking astonished. “Okay.”

If she didn’t work with such emotionally obtuse people, Paige and Toby’s behavior as Happy repairs the battleship’s control systems would have given the pregnancy away in a heartbeat.

“Would you stop hovering?” she snaps at Toby as he just watches her work. “You’re never like this. Someone’ll guess something.”

“Sorry,” he says, rolling out from under. His job was quicker, easier than Happy’s. Walter had to reboot the system after it had been infected from malware the US government had designed to attack a Russian ship, and then Happy had to repair the physical havoc the malware had wreaked. Toby just had to make sure all the officers on the ship were recovering from the carbon monoxide poisoning. That went by fast enough that he won’t leave her alone now, just floating close enough that she’s about to kick him off the side of the ship.

“Well, I do spend most of my time bothering you,” Toby says, sitting a few inches away from Happy’s tool kit. “That’s not unusual.”

“You’re got that right.”

Happy’s so in her own world that she doesn’t even notice the piece of metal dislodging.

If it wasn’t for Toby’s hovering just a few inches out of sight, Happy would have gotten hit in the head with a twenty pound piece from the machine. But Toby, having her back as always, noticed the precarious situation before she did. Before she knows what’s happening, Toby is pulling her out of the way, but he’s just barely not fast enough. The falling metal clashes onto her ankle. She stares at the metal on her leg. It hurts – a lot, actually – but she’s more astonished that it would have landed on her skull if it had been seconds sooner.

“That was almost bad,” Toby says calmly. It’s his doctor voice. He’s definitely freaking out.

Happy nods. “I think my foot’s fine, though," she lies.

It’s not, according to Toby. He thinks there’s a sprain and insists they go to the doctor – “Your actual doctor, I’m clearly biased” – to check it out once they get home.

“It’s fine,” Happy snaps. “I’ve walked off worse.”

“That’s not comforting,” Sylvester says. “Once you tried to work through a broken arm.”

Happy shoots him a glare. “Not helping, Sly.”

“It’s a sprain,” Toby insists. “I can tell. And it’s the same ankle you sprained a few years back.” He tries to check her foot and Happy kicks at him.

“No need to get mean,” he says with a tiny smile.

Happy relents. “Fine. Check.”

Toby forces her into this ridiculous splint-like thing for the rest of the job, and Happy’s stuck hobbling and using random people as crutches until they get home. He won’t even let her get up on the plane, insisting instead that he pull things out of her bag.

“You sure you’re okay?” Paige asks meaningfully. It took too damn long to get back, and Happy was able to use the turbulence in the tiny plane as an excuse for why she spends the entire trip throwing up.

“It hit my foot, not my uterus,” Happy says back, a little louder than intended. “I’m fine.”

“And with the vomiting?” Paige asks, quirking a smile. “That didn’t look fun.”

“I don’t even know if that was morning sickness,” Happy says. “Haven’t had it before.”

Paige stares at her. “No fair,” she says, indignant. “I was sick for three straight months!”

Happy shrugs. “Guess I’m just lucky. Except for the whole,” she points at the leg. “That might be why I threw up, now that I think about it.”

“Hurts that bad?” Paige asks.

Happy considers it. “I actually think so, yeah.” She frowns. “Not as much now. Which is good.”

“Well, if you need anything,” she nods at her. “I’ve been there. Not with the ankle, but.” She smiles at Happy. “You know.”

Happy nods as she tries grabs her bag and hobbles her way out of the garage to the driver’s side of the car.

“Nope,” Toby says, coming out of the garage after her. “That’s your driving foot. Passenger seat with you.”

Happy groans and rolls her eyes over at Paige, who grins and waves as they leave.

“She knows, doesn’t she,” Toby says once they get on the road.

Happy turns to him. “How could you possibly figure that out?”

“I know everything,” Toby says. “Also, I heard you say the word ‘uterus’ a minute ago and there’s literally no other reason you’d say that.”

“Fair enough.”

The emergency room doctor rushes them in when Toby drops the word “pregnant” and Happy thinks she can deal with this mother-to-be stuff if it gets her this kind of treatment.

The sprain is minor – the metal twisted Happy’s foot at a weird ankle and it barely twinges now that she’s had some time to rest it – but it’s in that moment that Happy realizes they need to tell the rest of the team. If Paige has figured it out, it’s only a matter of time before the others make some other random connection, and Happy would rather tell them than let them figure it out on their own.

“You sure?” Toby asks as they drive home. “I mean, you’re only just running into your second trimester. We can wait – you won’t start showing for a while.”

“In your opinion,” Happy says. “I can tell things are getting weird.”

“That’s because it’s your body,” he replies. “I still haven’t noticed any significant changes.”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “Significant?”

“What?”

“You’re the one who jumps on me for using qualifiers,” Happy says, unable to hold back a grin. “Clarify that one, Doc.”

Toby’s blush crawls up his cheeks. “You, um,” he swallows. “You didn’t notice?”

“I’m just waiting for you to dig yourself out of this hole,” Happy says.

“It’s not a bad change!” Toby says. “It’s – it’s a good change.” And that’s when his eyes flicker down to her chest.

“Oh,” says Happy. “Boobs. Right. Yeah, that’s,” she looks down, “that’s changed.”

“Yes they have,” Toby says, still staring.

“Light’s green, you dope,” Happy says.

“Right,” Toby says. “Of course.”

When they park, Toby says, “Do we, uh,” his blush comes back, “do we have to tell them right now?”

Happy grins. “You got something else in mind?”

They rush into the apartment, Happy moving quickly on the crutches Toby insisted on, and eventually he just picks her up.

“You’re moving too slowly,” he says, careful of her leg.

“Is this your plan for the day?” Happy asks as she wraps her legs around his waist.

Toby responds by kissing her. “I’ve got a few ideas.” They fall on the bed.

“In that case, I think I like your ideas,” Happy says, grabbing at Toby’s shirt and pulling him close.

“Well, duh,” says Toby. “Otherwise, you know,” he looks down at her belly, still flat, “baby wouldn’t have happened.”

“You know what I’m going to suggest next?” Happy asks, propping herself up on her elbows.

“Shut up and kiss you?”

“Yep.”

* * *

The next morning, Happy wakes up with Toby’s arm thrown around his waist as he snores noisily in her ear. Her ankle twinges slightly, but that's the least of her worries.

For a few seconds she tries to untangle from Toby's limbs, but it's futile. “Oh, my god, you’re annoying,” Happy laughs, trying to push him off of her.

Instead of moving, he pulls her against his chest. She hadn’t even realized she’d woken him up. “No leaving,” he mumbles. “We’re cuddling. Deal with it.”

“I have to go to the bathroom." she explains.

Toby lets go. “Microbladder,” he mumbles, rolling over.

“It’s your baby’s fault,” Happy shoots back.

When she comes back, Toby’s scrolling around on his phone. “Hey,” he says, beaming. “Got a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Happy says, rolling back into bed. She snuggles up next to him, the March air still bitter even at the end of the month.

“Names,” he says. “Thoughts?”

“The kid’ll have one eventually,” Happy replies. “Now let me sleep.”

“No,” Toby says, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “Look. Names.”

“Dr. Morneau suggested we avoid the internet, and I feel like following that advice,” Happy replies, closing her eyes.

“For medical information,” Toby replies. “Not for baby names.” He turns the phone to her, the light from his absurdly bright screen making her open her eyes again. “What do you think of Thalia?”

“It’s a Greek muse of comedy,” Happy replies. “Why?”

Toby shrugs a shoulder. “It’s pretty.”

“Neither of us are Greek,” is all Happy can think of.

Toby stares at her. “And you’re not always happy, Happy,” he says pointedly.

“We’re not naming the baby after anything historical,” Happy says pointedly. “But if it’s a girl, her middle name is Grace.”

“Of course,” Toby says. “I’m only looking at names that go well with Grace as a middle name.”

She stares at him. “How’d you –”

“I knew you’d either choose it for her first name or middle name,” Toby says, eyes on the phone.

“But how?”

He turns to her. “Because your mom is important to you." He smiles at her. "And I think you underestimate just how well I know you.”

Happy’s quiet for a minute, watching Toby scroll through his phone.

“Thanks,” she mutters, so quietly she can’t be certain he would hear her.

He kisses her on the forehead, but whether it’s a response to her comment, she’s unsure.

Toby scrolls through names and calls out everything he even remotely likes.

“Jackson?”

“Too popular,” Happy says. “Also, Jackson Wiles. No.”

“Steven?” Toby suggests.

“High school boyfriend,” Happy says wrinkling her nose. “Definitely not.”

“Stephen with a ph?”

Happy stares. “You just like that because you could say he’s Stephen with a PH, and you’re Toby with a PhD.”

“Sometimes I hate how well you know me.” He scrolls down. “What about Oliver?”

Happy freezes. “Not,” she says through gritted teeth, “Oliver.”

“Whoa,” says Toby. “That hit a nerve. Drop or talk?”

Happy’s about to say drop, because she’s hasn’t even thought of Oliver since she was eleven and got pulled out of that house before the bruises really started showing, but she realizes something. Her past isn’t just about her anymore. And if she can’t talk to Toby about things that happened nearly twenty years ago, she’s going to have a hard time talking about the hard parts of parenting.

She rests her hand on her belly, trying to remember why they’re even talking about names in the first place.

“Okay, I’ll drop,” Toby says, “what about –”

“He was my older foster brother when I was nine,” she blurts out. Toby’s silent when he looks at her, encouraging her to speak with his eyes. “He threatened me for months, but no matter how much I told the social worker, she just said she’d keep an eye on the problem. So I told my teachers, but all they could do was report it to the social worker.”

Toby pulls her closer. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs.

“You can probably guess,” Happy mumbles, “but I think he was really angry that I was stealing his parents or something.” She manages a smile. “The parents were kind, and I think, maybe,” she speaks the next words against Toby’s chest, “I think they maybe would have loved me.”

Toby hugs her tight, and she feels him kiss the top of her head. He’s mercifully silent, having learned over the years that as much as words help him, they hurt her.

After a few minutes, she’s able to speak again. “One day he just snapped, I guess. And he beat the crap out of me.” He’s still silent, and she lifts her head to look at him. “And I didn’t mention it to Dr. Morneau.”

“That’s okay,” Toby says. “You didn’t have to.”

“But what if Oliver damaged something?” Happy asks, shifting so she’s sitting. “Toby, what if he – what if he…” She’s not sure what she’s asking, just that the question is so terrifying she can’t find the words.

“If there was any long-term damage,” Toby assures her, “they would have found it when you were younger, let alone when we went to see Dr. Morneau. Hey,” he says, catching her face in his hands. “You’re going to be okay. The baby’s fine.”

Happy nods, meeting his eyes. “Foster kid problems,” she says with a half smile.

“Yeah, well,” Toby says, running a thumb against her cheekbone, “you’re okay now. And we’re going to have a baby,” he breaks into a smile, “and we’re going to love it so much it gets annoyed at us.”

“Just not a kid named Oliver.”

“Not Oliver,” Toby agrees, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “And, if we’re going that route, not Amy either.”

“Ugh, no,” Happy says, frowning. “Terrible name.”

“Horrible,” Toby says with a smile as she leans down to kiss him.

“You know what else is a stupid name?” Toby asks, tucking a curl behind her ear.

“Quincy?” Happy asks, deadpan. “Mark? Walter?”

“Ugh!” Toby exclaims, laughing. “Could you imagine the look on his face?”

“He’d be intolerable,” Happy replies. She wrinkles her nose.

“What about for girls?” Toby asks. “What do we immediately veto?”

“Janet,” Happy says.

Toby stares at her. “Got a reason?”

“Damn it, Janet, I love you,” she sings. “It’s stuck in my head all the time anyway. If we have a kid named Janet, I’ll never escape it.”

"Belle," Toby says. "Not Belle."

"I can't stand the name Kaitlin," Happy says. "I don't even know why. Same with Katherine."

They go back and forth with girls names, until Happy says, "With boy's names, I'm vetoing Roy. Roy the boy just sounds weird."

“Okay,” Toby nods. “Deal.” He thinks for a moment. “Lucifer.”

“Lucifer Tobias,” Happy laughs. “Yeah, because that’ll get him friends.”

“He’d grow up as a death metal guitarist,” Toby says.

Their list of names that are an immediate “no” is longer than a full notebook page with two columns by the time they’re done.

“No, but Amaya Quinn?” Toby laughs. “It’s like a question! Yes, you are a Quinn!”

“Exactly,” Happy says. “That’s why I’m vetoing it!”

Toby groans, rolling over to face plant on the pillow. “You’re no fun.”

“You wanted ‘Flynn Quinn,’” Happy counters. “You shouldn’t be allowed to pick baby names.”

“You’ve come up with some weird ones too!” Toby argues.

She stares at him. “To veto, yeah. But you tried to insist on Flynn for long enough that I’m pretty sure you weren’t joking.”

His smile is guilty. “Okay, fine. But it would have been cute.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Cute’s not the word I was going to use.”

“Okay, enough vetoes,” Toby decides. “I like Tony.”

“We’re not naming our kid after Marvel characters,” Happy declares. “No matter how many fan letters you wrote as a third grader to Dr. Strange.”

“Hey, that was in second grade,” Toby argues. He flops back into bed on his stomach. “Well, that takes out Natasha, Hank, Scott, Cassandra, Wanda, James –”

“No,” Happy corrects. “I like James. We can keep James.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere!” Toby says. “Tell me more names you like.” He scrolls through his phone for a few minutes. “Anything on here?”

Happy leans over Toby and grabs his phone out of his hand, settling to flatten out on his back. “I like Laura,” she says.

He thinks for a minute. “Laura Grace,” he tests. “Not bad.”

“Not bad?” Happy asks. “Okay, so that’s a no.”

“It’s not a no!” Toby says. "It's a maybe! I have to think about it."

Happy groans. "This is going to take forever.

"Well," says Toby, "we've got a couple of months." He pushes himself up. “Oh. I didn’t know I could do that.”

“A push up?” Happy quips, balancing her arms on Toby's back.

“A push up with a person on my back,” he corrects, flipping over so Happy lands in his arms. “That’s got to be pretty impressive, huh?”

“Not really,” Happy says, grinning at him. “You have some more impressive moves.”

Toby raises an eyebrow. “Correct me if I’m wrong,” he begins, his hands sliding up the back of her shirt, “but I’m getting the vibe that you want to see some of those impressive moves.”

Her eyes flutter shut as his hands slide against her skin. “I wouldn’t be opposed,” she mumbles.

Toby rolls them so she’s on her back, kissing her slowly with purpose. His hands skim along her hips, dragging her shirt up so agonizingly slowly that she’s half tempted to rip it off herself.

She pushes his shirt up, running her hands along his chest, and he smiles against her lips.

“You’re so damn impatient,” he says as he slides his lips down her neck.

“No,” she says, shoving her pajama pants down her legs, “you’re just slow.”


	4. Pregnancy, Week 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They need to start telling people. But that involves talking. And Happy hates talking.

Happy wakes up to the smell of coffee, and for the first time in her life it makes her feel queasy.

“Make it end,” she groans.

Toby pokes his head back into the room. “Everything okay in here?”

“Coffee,” Happy mumbles. “This kid is making me hate coffee. How fucked is that?”

“Aw, that sucks,” Toby says sympathetically, walking into the room. “Do you want me to –”

“Just make it go away,” Happy says. “Love you. Hate the coffee.” She rolls to her side, curling her knees up to her stomach to try and alleviate the stomach ache.

Toby leaves and then comes back later with a cup of tea. “Thoughts on Raspbery Zinger?”

“Raspberry what?” Happy asks, sitting up.

“Zinger,” Toby repeats. “It’s tea. And it’s good.”

Happy takes a tentative sip. “Okay,” she says. “I can work with this.”

Toby’s smile is huge. “Good,” he says. He gets back in bed, setting his toast on the bedside table, resting his chin on his hands. “Hey, you.”

“Hi?” Happy says, staring at him. “We did this already.”

“Not you,” he says, “the baby.” He smiles down at her belly. “Good morning.”

She’s trying to decide if it’s weird or not, and finally decides it’s weird, but she’s not going to argue. “I’ll let you talk to my stomach if I can go back to sleep,” Happy decides.

“Deal,” Toby says.

“Why are we awake, anyway?” Happy asks. “Case?”

“No,” Toby replies. “I just got up early, like always. I think you got woken up by coffee.”

“Ugh,” Happy groans. “Get puffy, lose coffee. Lose/lose situation.”

“Hey!” Toby argues. “We get a baby out of it.”

Happy can’t help but smile. “Yeah, we do,” she says. She finds herself unconsciously resting her hand on her still mostly flat belly. She’s noticing a roundness that hadn’t been there before, but it’s nowhere near obvious. If she didn’t know she was pregnant, she wouldn’t have thought anything of it. “Doesn’t feel like it yet.”

“I think it will soon,” Toby says. “Once your belly starts getting in the way.”

Happy laughs. “I’ll look like a bowling ball. As if I needed another reminder that I'm so damn short."

“No,” Toby insists, “you’ll look beautiful. Like always.”

Happy’s smile is set on her face as she closes her eyes. She half falls asleep before Toby starts speaking.

“Hey, baby,” he says quietly, “or little alien, as your mommy decided to call you. Don’t tell her, but I think it’s funnier than I should.” Happy smiles again. “And she’s pretending to be asleep, but she’s awake. That’s okay. She only does that when she’s really tired and I won’t shut up.”

“Happens a lot,” Happy mumbles.

Toby leans down and presses a kiss to her belly. “I’m going to let her sleep now,” he says. “But you keep up the good work, kiddo. Grow big and strong. But not too big.” He kisses Happy’s belly again and then settles back against the pillows.

“I knew you thought alien was funny,” Happy manages before she falls asleep.

* * *

 

She wakes up with one single thought in her mind after a dream involving the baby coming out looking like ET and Toby saying, “This wouldn’t have happened if you told everyone on time.”

“We have to tell my dad,” she exclaims, sitting up. “How the hell am I going to tell my dad?”

Toby looks over at her, on the last few pages of his book. “By saying, ‘Hi, Dad. We’re having a kid. You want to be Grandpa or Grampy?’ Easy.”

Happy turns to him. “You told your family yet?”

He’s silent.

“Yeah,” she says. “Exactly.”

“To be fair,” he says, “I don’t speak to any of my family members.”

“None of them?” Happy asks. “Not even email or something?”

“I changed my email address after the thirtieth damn time my cousin Ronnie sent me the naked pictures of celebrities post.” He's surprisingly firm in this. Usually Toby's flexible, but something about his family stops him in his tracks. Happy begins to wonder if there are still some secrets he hasn't told her. “Seriously. We’re not telling them.”

“Alright then,” Happy says. “Let’s get back to the problem.”

“What problem?” Toby asks. “It’s your dad. He’s going to be elated.” He sends her a comforting smile. It doesn't qork.

“Yeah, or he’s going to freak out like when I was born,” Happy says. She didn’t realize that was a concern until she said it.

“Oh, hey, no,” says Toby, practically throwing his book on the bedside table. “Not going to happen.”

“Oh, sure,” Happy says. “Because it’s so out of character for him to ditch babies.”

Toby doesn’t fight back or argue anymore. He just looks at her, like he’s waiting for her to make the next move.

“I don’t want my kid to go through what I did,” Happy manages.

Toby nods. “Whatever you want to do,” he says quietly. "I'm with you, misspelled and messy and all."

She looks at him, just for a couple of seconds to figure out why that hit her so hard. “You are there,” she realizes quietly.

He nods. “And you’re not getting rid of me that easily,” he says with a smile. "You're stuck with me."

She rolls over, throwing her arm over his waist and hugging him close. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For being here,” Happy says. “For not leaving once we found out about the baby."

“Of course I wouldn’t leave,” Toby says, looking at her with this incredibly baffled expression. “I found out you’re pregnant. Why would I leave?”

She goes for honesty. “Because most people do.”

He wraps his arms around her shoulders. “I won’t,” he says, a promise in his voice. "I won't."

“Good.”

They stay there for a little while, arms around each other, until Happy’s phone rings and she jumps half a foot.

“Technology ruins cuddles,” Toby announces. “Let’s go be Luddites.”

Happy shoots him a look as she leans to her bag and pulls out her phone.

“Speak of the devil,” she mutters.

“Your dad?” Toby asks.

She nods. “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, Happy,” her father says. “Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

“Dinner? Oh!” she looks over at Toby, having completely forgotten about it. “Right. Dinner,” she says meaningfully. “Tonight. Of course.”

“I’m thinking Mi Jalisco’s,” her dad says. “You okay with Mexican? I know Toby recommends their margaritas.”

Happy laughs. “Sounds great. Maybe Toby could come with us.”

“Definitely,” says Patrick. “Seven okay?”

“Seven sounds great, Dad,” Happy replies. “See you then.”

She hangs up. “So,” she says to Toby. “I think I’m going to have to tell my dad tonight.”

“You don’t have to,” Toby says. “Only if you feel ready.”

“If I don’t drink a margarita from Mi Jalisco’s, there’s got to be a reason, and he’s going to know it.” She quirks her lips into a smile. “First coffee, now tequila.” She looks down. “Next you’re going to make me hate waffles.”

“I don’t think you’re ever going to hate waffles,” Toby insists. “Seriously, I’ve never seen anybody eat waffles like you do.”

Happy considers it. “You know what I want now?”

“I’ll break out the waffle maker,” Toby says. He leans in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Love you!”

Happy nods to him as she tries to figure out exactly what to say to her father. She doesn’t even know him that well, and now she’s about to tell him he’ll be a grandparent.

They make their way to work late and lazy, because if there’s no big case, there’s no big rush.

“Oh, look who decided to come to work today,” Cabe says, standing in front of the heavy bag. “I thought we had workout dates set for Thursday mornings.”

“Oh,” says Toby. “Right. Sorry.”

“Get your ass over here,” Cabe adds. “You don’t get out of it just because you’re late. You’re going for an hour or until we get a case, whatever comes first.”

“Heard that before,” Toby mutters into Happy’s ear. She swats his arm.

“Go box, you nerd,” Happy says pointedly.

Watching Toby box is a little like watching somebody punch the Empire State Building. It takes a lot of strength and effort but, ultimately, it’s not going anywhere.

“You’re staring,” Paige singsongs, grinning at her.

“Just making sure he’s got the guns to haul a baby carrier,” Happy replies, muttering.

Paige laughs. “You think you’re joking.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Oh, it is,” Paige insists. “Especially when your kid is a year old and not walking yet, but he’s talking the whole walk from the parking lot to the store and then screams when you won’t answer his bizarre questions. Just you wait,” she looks over at Toby, “you guys are in for it.”

Happy shrugs. “We’ll be fine. I’ve got a steep learning curve.”

Paige nods. “Oh, I’m not saying you won’t be amazing parents,” Paige clarifies. “Just that there are many parts that you can’t prepare for.”

“Like what?” Happy asks. “Try me.”

Paige opens her mouth to respond right when Cabe yells, “Come on, you punch like my grandma!”

“Your grandma was awesome, then,” Toby shouts back, slamming his fist into the heavy bag.

“Aw,” Paige says. “He’s trying.”

Happy laughs. “Hold on. Watch this.”

She pulls off her work gloves and walks over to Cab and Toby.

“Mind if I take a swing?” she asks, holding back her grin.

Cabe shrugs. “Why not. Let’s see if you can beat your boyfriend.”

Happy shrugs off her jacket for a little more movement, winds up, and beats the crap out of the bag for a good twenty seconds until Sylvester says, “You’re confusing the sensor.”

Happy looks up at Toby. “You’re going to have to try a little bit harder if you want to beat me. In anything.” Toby's expression fades into that brainless look Happy always appreciates.

“I don’t think I can beat you,” Toby says a moment later after he recovers, walking over to the computer. “All of your hits had at least 50% more force behind it than any of mine.”

“Sounds about right,” Happy says, grabbing her jacket and pulling it back on. She pats his cheek. “You’ll get there.”

She walks back over to Paige who is standing at Happy’s station, laughing.

“Sometimes it’s important to remind him I’ve still got it,” Happy says, trying to zip up the jacket. The zipper won’t hook. “What the hell? I was literally just wearing this.”

“Early bloating,” Paige mutters. “It’s not baby weight. It’s water weight. That’ll fluctuate for the first few weeks.”

“You mean I can’t fit into my jackets already?” Happy groans. “I thought I had at least a couple of weeks before this.”

Paige looks at her sympathetically. “It happens quickly,” she says mournfully.

The hour goes by quickly, and Toby looks exhausted and a little miserable when he walks over.

“Why do I choose to do that?” he whines.

“Because you need to up your game,” Paige says, “baby carriers are heavy.”

Toby’s head snaps up and looks around. “Shh!”

“Oh, chill,” Happy says. “Nobody’s close enough to hear.”

“Also,” Toby says, doctor expression clear as day, “you probably shouldn’t do boxing. Or running. Or weight lifting.” He frowns. "Unfortunately, all your favorite ass kicking methods are probably out."

Happy raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Medically,” Toby insists. “I swear, this isn't me being an asshole."

"You sure about that?" Happy asks, folding her arms over her chest.

Toby nods. "Your heart is already pumping 30% harder, and that’s only going to increase as your pregnancy continues.”

She unfolds her arms and looks down. “You,” she says, “are getting in the way of everything. You better be cute.”

“Who better be cute?” Sylvester asks, appearing out of nowhere.

Toby’s got a decent poker face, but Happy and Paige jump.

“She’s talking to her project,” Toby says. “It’s weird. Sometimes I think I battle for romantic affections with her power tools.”

The rest of the day crawls by, no cases and no concerns coming to them.

“This is the most bored I’ve been since that plane ride when my iPod died,” Toby whines, draped across the couch. “Can we leave now?”

“Why are you asking me?” Paige says, flipping a folder closed. “I’m not your mother.”

Ralph, like on cue, bounds through the door.

“That’s a coincidence if I’ve ever seen one,” Toby says. “Hey, buddy!”

Happy watches as Ralph hugs his mom, then darts over to Toby and starts talking about some experiment he designed in class, the excitement only growing as Toby engages.

“He’s going to be a great dad,” Paige mutters. “Look, he’s got Dad hand gestures already.”

“He’s got the Dad jokes down, too,” Happy laughs, but she feels a familiar flare of nervous excitement. “Hey, how did you tell your parents?”

Paige turns to her. “Telling your dad tonight?”

Happy nods. “You’re the only person who has any background knowledge on this.”

“And, you know,” Paige says, shrugging. “We’re friends.”

Happy nods slowly, because she’s not sure when it happened. “Yeah.”

There’s an awkward pause. “Anyway,” Paige says. “I told my parents during family weekend. They came to visit, I had found out six days before, and then blurted it out during dinner.”

“Ouch,” Happy says. “How’d they take it?”

“Not well,” Paige admits. “They visit every Thanksgiving, and Ralph and I drive up for a week in the summer, but other than that we don’t seem them much.” She smiles, something sad. “But at least Ralph knows his grandparents, you know?”

Happy nods slowly.

“It’ll be fine,” Paige insists. “Your dad’ll be so excited.”

“Hope so,” Happy says, watching Toby act out some dramatic explosion. “One dad down, one to go.”

* * *

“You literally could not be bouncing more,” Toby says to Happy. “Calm down.”

“Can’t,” Happy replies. “I spent all day psyching myself up for this and if he doesn’t get here, I’m going to lose my mind.” She turns to Toby. “Should I just call and cancel?”

“No,” Toby says, looking lost. “He’ll be here. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried,” Happy argues. “Just – I need to tell him before my mind explodes.”

“I know,” says Toby. “I’m holding it together this time, though. Supportive boyfriend." He shoots her a grin. "Pretty good right?”

“Nice job patting yourself on the back there, Toby,” Happy mumbles.

The hostess calls them over, their table ready, and Happy’s just glad they’re nowhere fancy. If she had to be in anything other than her leggings and a jacket, she’d be so uncomfortable she’d lose it.

“Can I start the two of you off with drinks while we wait for your other party?” the hostess says, a bright smile on her face. “I’m Janet, and I’ll be your waitress today.”

“Just some water for me,” Happy says.

“Same here,” Toby says with a nod.

“You can have a margarita, you know,” Happy tells him. “I’m not going to be offended.”

“It just doesn’t seem fair,” Toby says.

“Drink a margarita,” Happy commands. “I need somebody to be cool and collected tonight.”

Toby looks up at Janet. “I’ll have a margarita on the rocks, salt, please.”

When she walks away, Toby exhales. “Oh, god, I was about to lose it,” he says.

“Why?” Happy asks. “Damn it, Janet –”

“I love you,” Toby confirms.

“Exactly.”

Janet returns with their waters and Toby’s margarita just as Patrick darts through the door and up to the hostess.

“T minus thirteen seconds,” Happy mutters.

“Sorry I’m late,” Patrick says, looking flustered but happy. “Business is booming lately.”

“Really?” Happy asks before she can hold it back.

“No need to sound so shocked,” Patrick jokes. “But yes. We’ve had a recent influx of rather wealthy LA doctors running in.”

“Well, would you look at that,” Toby muses, and Happy knows that smile.

“What did you do?” Happy asks.

He feigns innocence. “Me? Nothing.”

“Liar,” she says. She turns to Patrick. “It was him, I know it.”

Patrick looks between them. “What’s she talking about, Toby?”

“Okay, fine,” Toby concedes. “I may have told some of my old med school buddies about a good mechanic, and…” He shrugs. “Well, plastic surgeons and brand name psychiatrists make a lot of money and like expensive cars.”

Happy’s blown away. “You really are a big thing in the medical community,” she manages.

Toby shrugs. “You thought I was kidding.”

Patrick looks touched. “Thank you, Toby,” he says. “Really. That’s pulled my shop out from the deep end.”

“I really didn’t do anything,” Toby insists. “Just made a few calculated comments, that’s all.”

“Calculated comments, my ass,” Happy says with an eye roll. “You did that shrink thing.”

Janet returns and takes Patrick’s order, and he stares at Happy like, well, like she just told him she’s pregnant, when she doesn’t ask for a margarita. Though Happy’s equally surprised – neither does Patrick. Instead, he gets a water and a Sprite, and suddenly notices the absence of alcohol in front of Happy.

"No margarita?" he asks.

Happy shrugs. "I didn't want one."

“But you love them here!” Patrick replies, looking startled.

“I, uh,” Happy scrambles for a reason, “I’m not feeling tequila tonight.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” Patrick says pointedly.

“You didn’t get one either,” Happy counters.

Patrick looks incredibly skeptical. “Alright.”

After Janet brings them their drinks and takes their order, Happy keeps trying to find a good place in the conversation to mention the baby, but it just doesn’t happen.

Happy finds herself ordering an enchilada with the spiciest sauce they have, something she’s never tried before but really likes. Actually, she loves it. She's never liked spicy food quite like this before.

Toby looks at her, an eyebrow raised, and she sends him a look right back.

“Okay, I’ve got to ask,” says Patrick. “What’s going on with you two? Because this,” he points to them with his fork, “is getting pretty obvious.”

Toby and Happy look at each other in tandem, and Happy knows she’s the one who needs to say it. She doesn’t want to, though.

“And now I’m worried,” says Patrick. “What’s going on?”

Happy takes a deep breath, unable to meet his eyes. If she’s going to anything, she’s going to do a better job of delivering the news to her father than she did to Toby.

“Okay, Dad,” she says, “don’t freak out –”

“Oh, god,” Patrick says, setting his fork down.

“It’s a good thing!” Toby insists.

Happy nods. “Really good thing,” she assures him. “Um,” she smiles at Patrick, because there’s no going back now. “Dad, I’m pregnant.”

The split second in between telling Patrick and his reaction is second in agony only to the worries about telling Toby.

The grin that spreads across his face, though. That doesn’t suck.

“I’m going to be a grandpa?” he asks, his voice soft and disbelieving. “Really?”

Happy nods. “Surprise!”

“I knew there was a reason you turned down that margarita,” Patrick said. “Not feeling tequila, my ass.”

“Told you that’d be a dead giveaway,” Happy says to Toby.

“You guys even speak similarly,” Toby says, looking from the two of them. Then a look of realization spreads across his face. “Oh, god, there’s going to be three of you.”

Happy nods, and she can’t stop smiling. “And you’re going to be living with two of us. This oughta be good.”

They spend the rest of the night teasing Toby, because that’s what they do, until Patrick asks them the question Happy was sort of dreading, because simple math answers a second question about what they did on New Year's Eve, and that's just awkward.

“How far along?”

“Uh, thirteen weeks,” she says, praying he doesn't do the math.

Patrick looks at her, and asks something she didn't expect. “And you’re just telling people now?”

“Not even people,” Toby says. “You’re the first person we told. Paige just figured it out using weird jedi mind tricks.”

“You told me first?” Patrick asks. “Really?”

Happy nods. “You were the most important person to tell.”

He immediately chokes up. “Happy, I know we’re in a restaurant,” he manages, “but I’d really like to give you a hug right now.”

Happy stands and Patrick pulls her into his arms, and she settles against him.

The anxiety that had weighed on her shoulders has melted away into excitement again, because she’s got another person on her team.

She’s not used to it, but she likes it.

She's got people who are ready and willing to be on her side.

“I’m so excited for you, Happy,” Patrick mumbles. “You’re going to be great.”

“You think so?”

He steps away, his hands resting on her shoulders. “I know so.”


	5. Pregnancy, Week 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their first big case since Happy found out she was pregnant. And most of the team still doesn't know.

Happy wakes up to a phone ringing louder than strictly necessary, and ignores it until Toby says, “Quinn-Curtis residence, you woke us up, this better be good.” He groans into the phone. “This is a joke, right? Like, a really funny joke? It’s three in the morning.” A pause. “I’m not being insensitive, I’m tired as hell. Fine. Walter, shut up, we’ll be there in an hour. Well, we can’t get there in fifteen minutes.” He groans, rolling over. “Fine. Forty-five minutes and that’s the best I can do.”

Toby throws his arm over his eyes. “Our boss sucks.”

“Our boss is our best friend,” Happy grumbles into her pillow. “So, yeah, he sucks.”

When she moves to sit up, she feels a spark of pain flood across her body. “What the hell,” she groans, collapsing back against the sheets. “Your kid is killing my back.”

“Can I help with that?” Toby asks. He's got that ridiculous grin on his face, like he's trying his best to make his words dirty.

“If you can make this,” she gestures to her back, “stop, you can do anything.”

The second he starts massaging her lower back, she sinks comfortably into the mattress. “Oh, god,” she moans. “Don’t stop.”

“I don’t think I can tell you just how much I love hearing you say that,” Toby says, laughter in his voice.

She’d argue the innuendo, but Toby’s hands are working miracles and she can’t think of anything else. “Just – keep doing that,” she says. She feels her muscles relax as his fingers break up the knots, and she begins to wonder if she’ll be able to insist on Toby massages for the rest of her life.

“We’ve got to leave in half an hour if we want to get there when we said we would,” Toby says.

“When you said we would,” Happy argues, settling even more comfortably against the pillows. “I’m perfectly content right here.”

“Yeah,” says Toby, kissing her back just before it disappears into her tank top, “but if we’re not both there, they might all kill us.”

“I’d like to see them try,” Happy mumbles

Toby’s hands keep working her back, and it’s too soon that he’s lifting his touch and saying, “Honey, we need to go to work.”

“What if I don’t want to?” she grumbles. “I’d rather sleep.”

“Who wouldn’t rather sleep?” Toby replies. “But I think Walter’ll kill us if we don’t have a good reason not to be at work.”

“I’m pregnant,” Happy replies, rolling over. “Is that a good enough reason?”

Toby leans in and kisses her. “It’s a good enough reason for me,” he says, “but I know it’s not a good enough reason for you.”

“You’ve got a point.”

Happy manages to pull herself out of bed and into the shower, and she takes a moment to look down at herself as the water pours down on her. She’s pretty sure she doesn’t really notice that much of a difference, she's probably just imagining it, but she thinks she sees a bump. She rests her hand on her stomach like she’s seen other people do, but it feels stupid when there's nothing there yet. 

“Whatever,” she says to herself, trying not to feel anxious about the lack of proof that she's actually going to be a mom.

“What?” Toby calls.

“Wasn’t talking to you,” Happy says back.

“Hurry up in there,” Toby says, peeking his head in. “Not that I mind the view, but I need a shower.”

“You could join me,” Happy says, lips quirking into a smile.

Toby shakes his head. “We all know what happens if I step in there with you, and we don’t have the time for what I want to do." He tears his eyes away from her. "But when we get home. Definitely when we get home."

"That a promise?" Happy asks.

"Now you're just being mean," Toby says, pulling the shower curtain closed.

Happy’s out of the shower in within five minutes and Toby kisses her before he steps in.

“Could you throw me a pair of jeans?” he asks.

Happy chucks them in the bathroom after she makes it into the bedroom, and is horrified to find that her own jeans don’t button.

“What the hell?” she says, trying to pull the button closed. “Oh, damn it." She tries every possible way to pull them on, but the button just won't work.

"Baby," Happy grumbles, digging through her drawers, "if you make it so all of my jeans are too small, I'm going to be livid."

Toby walks out of the bathroom five minutes later to see Happy, still on the bed, surrounded by five pairs of nearly identical black jeans. She managed to put on a bra - barely fitting with whatever the hell her chest has been doing lately - and underwear, but everything else was just too distressing.

“They don’t fit,” Happy says, feeling a little dazed. “None of my pants fit.”

Toby considers this. “Leggings,” he says, like it's something brilliant nobody had thought of before. “Wear leggings. They’ll be fine.”

“Not the point,” Happy replies. “But thanks for the brilliant idea, Einstein. Nobody's ever thought of leggings before."

Toby sits next to her. "Okay, no need to be mean to me," he says. "Want to explain why you're doing the asshole thing this time?"

Happy shrugs. "No."

"You probably should," Toby mutters.

Happy wishes she could talk without being a jackass first. "I’m at fourteen weeks and I can’t fit into my pants. Explain that, Doc.” She points to her stomach. “Because you can't tell I'm pregnant, but nothing fits."

“Water retention, shifting hips,” Toby says, sitting next to her on the bed. He runs a towel through his hair. “If you want we can go pick up some maternity clothes when we get home.”

Happy stares at him. “Say those words again and I’ll kick your ass,” she says. “I’m not wearing mom jeans.”

“They’re not mom jeans!” Toby argues. “They’re almost-mom jeans. They look normal except for this little stretchy part that goes over your belly.”

Happy blinks. "Do I want to know how you know that"

Toby won’t meet her eyes. “I may be doing some amazon shopping, a little googling when I can’t sleep. I have a whole cart of baby stuff.”

Happy groans as she flops on the bed. “I’ll never fit into my jeans again.”

“Yeah, you will,” Toby says, falling next to her. “And you still have your jackets.”

“No, I don’t,” Happy grumbles. “My black one wouldn’t zip the other day.”

"Are you going shirtless for the rest of your life, then, too?" Toby asks. He doesn't even hide the way his eyes lock onto her chest. "Because I'm okay with that."

She reaches over to poke him in the side. "Perv."

"Hey, you're the one laying in bed naked," he replies. "Is this your way of telling me to blow off Walter and get naked?"

Happy shrugs. "It's nearly three am. There are better things we could be doing right now than going to the garage."

"You're not wrong," Toby says. "But I want to keep my job."

Happy groans. "Fine. If we have to."

Toby sits up and presses a kiss to Happy’s bare stomach. “Once you get here,” he says, directly to her almost-bump, “your mom will fit into her jeans again.”

“Are you talking to a fetus again?” Happy asks. “The baby can’t hear you in-utero at this point.”

“Maybe the baby can,” Toby says. “Or, something. I don’t know.” He leaps up. “We have to get to work, or Walter’s going to kill us.”

Happy throws on the dark blue tunic she’s worn eight times in the past three weeks with a pair of leggings, and tries not to miss her jeans too much.

They show up at the garage five minutes after they said they’d be there, and Walter already looks annoyed.

“You are late,” he says firmly. “Again. I hope it’s for a good reason.”

“Oh, can it with the whining,” Toby says. “You called us in to work at 3 in the morning. You’re lucky we’re here at all.”

“It’s time sensitive,” Walter explains. “Now that the whole team is here, we can begin.”

Cooper explains that a yacht club party took a turn when it was surrounded by smaller boats and were then boarded by a group of people threatening to shoot the place up if they weren’t given all the money and jewelry on the boat.

“And it’s Homeland’s area,” Cooper explains, “because there is a diplomat on board whose demise would destroy certain international relations.”

“Let me guess,” Toby says, “we will not be told of their name.”

“Correct,” Cooper agrees. “So, Cyclone. What are we thinking?”

Within twenty minutes they’ve found the names of the criminals using facial recognition, accessed their computers from the garage, and found the names of their associates.

“Cool,” says Sylvester. “So we get on the boat, call them out, and get rid of them, and I don’t have to leave the garage.”

Toby shakes his head. “We need to break one of the people they work with first,” he explains. “That’ll give us more information so we’re not going in blind.” He turns to the laptop Sylvester had been working on, looking at all the people working with the criminals. Happy watches him for a moment, because she’s convinced she’ll figure out how he reads people so well. There has to be more to what he does, but, for the millionth time, she doesn’t see him do anything other than study faces. “Her,” Toby says, pointing. “She’s not in it for the same reason. Look at her, she doesn’t need money. She doesn’t need an adrenaline rush.” He steps away. “She’s the link we can break.”

“Are you sure about this, Toby?” Paige asks. “She might just be a girlfriend. She might not even be connected.”

“That’s not what you wear on a date,” Toby insists, pointing at the facial recognition shot from that night. “That’s what you wear not to be noticed, so that if somebody gets questioned, they don’t remember you.” He smirks. “Well, unless you’re us.”

“Quit the peacocking and get to the point, Toby,” Happy says pointedly.

“Right. We need an interrogation team, a group of people doing recon back at the garage to communicate with everybody else, and two to be ready to dive bomb that yacht.”

“When did you become the leader of this team?” Cabe asks.

Toby shrugs. “You guys have any other ideas?” Silence. “Exactly. Let’s do this.”

“Alright, I’ll take Cabe and Happy to the yacht,” Walter says. “We’ll scuba dive into the water and wait until we get the go from the rest of the team. Happy knows engines inside and out. We might be able to shut down the ship without anyone knowing.”

“No!” Happy exclaims. Toby and Paige throw her a look. “I mean, I think I need to go with Toby. A girl like this isn’t going to talk to him – she’s probably interested in guys in their late forties who consider a million dollars chump change. She’d be more likely to talk to a girl who needs help or something.”

“That’s a really good idea,” Paige says. “Sylvester and I will stay here, work as the go between.”

“So I get to hit the yacht,” Cabe says. “Walter, you’re with me. Let’s gear up. Cooper, can you get us a team?”

“Give me thirty seconds.”

In the chaos of the next two minutes, Paige gives Toby and Happy the Mom Stare, and they follow her until she grabs them and pulls them out of the line of sight.

“You still haven’t told them?!” Paige exclaims once she pulls both Toby and Happy aside, looking horrified. “Guys, you’re cutting it a little close. You’re in trimester 2 already.”

“How can you possibly know that?” Happy asks, befuddled.

Paige raises an eyebrow. “I know things. Plus, tell me the last time you wore a tank top around them instead of one of those floaty things.” Paige gestures to Happy's tunic, and Happy realizes she can’t answer. “Exactly.” She looks at Happy. “Usually you wear tight tops, but what you’re wearing is one of four loose shirts you own, and one of four shirts you’ve been wearing in the past couple of weeks. And you just turned down scuba diving.”

"Well, technically, I'm not certified," she shoots back. Toby snickers.

“You two are children,” Paige says. “But you’re going to start showing soon and you should tell them before it gets to be a situation where it becomes a problem.”

“We’ll tell them when we tell them,” Toby says. “Plus, they should have guessed by now. As you said, Happy turned down crime fighting for interrogation.”

“Yeah,” Happy adds, “it’s not our fault they’re oblivious.”

Paige sighs. “Well, tell them soon,” she insists. “Because I’m having a hell of a time explaining some of your weird behavior to them.”

Happy nods. “Done deal.”

Happy and Toby jump in the car to find and talk to the girl Toby had singled out. Toby manages to find her on Facebook and, from there, finds out her address.

“People,” he says, wiggling his phone, “put too much online.”

“Not the point, genius,” Happy says. “You got any actual plans? Because the people thing is your turf, not mine.”

“I’m thinking about it,” Toby says, tapping on the truck’s window. “I think we’re going to use you.”

“How in the hell is that a good idea?” Happy asks. “I was joking when I said that thing about me getting the information out of the girl. I’m terrible at talking to people.”

“Yeah, but we could use the fact that you’re a girl, and,” his face lights up when she looks at him. “Oh, my god, you’re pregnant!”

“Yes, and we’ve known that for five weeks,” Happy says. “Your point?”

“Any woman would open the door for a pregnant lady asking for help,” Toby clarifies. “If she lets you in, you have her let her guard down, start talking to her. I’ll guide you over coms and tell you what to say.”

“And then what?” Happy asks. “I’m not sure I can pull off an entire interrogation without you, even with you whispering.”

“I’ll come in once she’s comfortable,” Toby says. “When she looks like she’s panicking, that’s when I’ll step in. Just make sure she leaves the door open, okay?”

Happy nods. “Let's get this over with."

She tries to get herself worked up before walking in to the girl’s apartment, like she’s actually a scared expectant mother, but it’s not as easy as it seems.

“Just think of how you felt when you first found out you were pregnant,” Toby suggests. “We were both pretty panicky then, right?”

Happy pushes the com into her ear. “Oh yeah.” She takes a deep breath and twists her face into something she hopes looks worried. “I look nervous and pregnant enough?”

Toby nods and kisses her quickly. “Now go ahead. It's still early enough that she could be awake from a night of partying."

Happy walks up to the door, knocking quickly. Nervous people would knock quickly and frantically, she decides, so she knocks again until the door swings open.

“Hello?”

When Happy gets a look at the person opening the door, it’s a very different person standing there than that made-up, grown up socialite in the picture. Though Happy knows she’s eighteen years old, the girl looks no more than fifteen, hair in a ponytail and wearing a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top.

“Hi,” says Happy. Toby whispers, “More frantic,” in her ear. “Hi,” she says again, her pitch rising. “Hi, I’m – I’m Quinn,” she tries. “And my car broke down a ways down the road, and Triple A said they were coming.” She does her best to look nervous, but that mostly means she's shifting her weight from foot to foot and cracking her knuckles. “Oh, god, this stress can’t be good for the baby.”

“Great play, Hap,” Toby murmurs into her ear.

The girl’s eyes widen. “You’re pregnant?” she asks.

Happy nods. “Fourteen weeks,” she explains.

“Oh, god, come in,” the girl says. “I’m Parker, by the way. Parker Holderness.”

Happy nods at her. “Thank you so much.”

From there, it’s all a game of pretending to listen to Parker while Toby feeds Happy her lines. It’s not long before they’re venting about families and Parker is talking about some of the antics she’s gotten up to since her parents have made her get a job.

“Yeah, they’re insane,” Parker says, leaning against the couch.

Happy touches her pocket like she’s checking her phone. “Hold on, let me check this. It might be Triple A.”

She stands and walks to the hallway by the front door, talking to Toby and cracking Parker’s door open just a tiny bit.

“Let you in now?” she asks.

“Not yet,” Toby says. “I think you can work her. Eventually, you need to get her to the point where you can scare her into talking.”

“I can definitely do that,” Happy laughs.

"No kidding," Toby replies.“Do your worst, babe."

Happy groans. “Don’t call me that.”

“Yup.”

She walks back into the room. “So, here’s the deal,” Happy says. “We’ve been pretty straight with each other. I’m pregnant, my dad abandoned me, you think your parents are assholes, you had to get a job, whatever."

Parker looks confused. “What are you –”

Toby’s voice over coms says, “Wait, too fast.”

“We know what you did,” Happy says, ignoring Toby. Parker looks startled. “Don’t give me that. Just start talking. I don’t want people to die because you didn’t talk.”

Parker blinks, avoiding Happy’s eyes. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Alright, Hap,” Toby says, “go for it. Why not?"

“Listen, you stuck up, childish brat,” Happy says, “we know what you did, where you did it, when you did it. The only thing that’s missing is why. So start talking before I put my foot up your ass.”

“That was scary,” Toby says over coms.

“Thank you,” says Happy. “She’s the reason my massage was interrupted. I’m very angry.”

The girl’s eyes widen. “Who are you talking to?”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Ear piece,” she explains, pointing to the com. “Which is connected –” that’s when Toby walks through the door "- to him.”

Parker stares. “Who are you people?!”

Toby leans against the door frame. “The people trying to save the yacht you targeted from being massacred.”

Parker’s eyes widen. “Massacred? That’s not what I –” She looks horrified. “Oh. Oh, god.”

Happy nods. "Yeah, those bad guys you hired have guns. And, turns out, guns do kill people."

The girl starts singing like a canary, explaining her involvement in the sabotage of the yacht party, how her parents are on the ship and she wanted to scare them. She’d contacted a team called the Grey Hawks, a notorious group of criminals known for targeting affluent members of society, to tell them about the yacht party and where it sailed from earlier that night, but hadn’t realized just how far they would go.

“So your brilliant idea was to send in a freakin’ murder gang to mess with your parents, and instead of, I don’t know, rebooting your brain, you let them attack a yacht with a diplomat on board.” Happy looks at Toby. “Sounds like a great plan.”

Within a few minutes, the girl is looking miserable and exhausted, and it’s clear that she’s told them everything she knew.

“Get Paige on the phone,” Happy says. “Tell him where to find the Grey Hawk headquarters. If we can get Sylvester and Paige there, they can disconnect their communication system and throw the rest of the team off for long enough that Walter and Cabe can lead the Homeland team onto the boat.”

Toby stares at her. “Think that’ll work?”

“I have no idea!” Happy exclaims, throwing her arms in the air. “I execute plans and kick ass. I don't usually make the plans."

"I like it though," Toby replies. "Let’s give it a try.”

During the phone call, Happy turns to Parker. “You really screwed up,” Happy says, folding her arms. “Next time, if you’re trying to get back at your parents, just take their car for a joy ride, okay? Don’t send a murder cult to kill them.”

Parker picks her head up off of the desk, looking like a raccoon. “I know,” she sobs. “Did my makeup run?” She runs a manicured finger under her eye.

Happy nods. “Yep,” she replies. “Everywhere.” She tosses a box of tissues at Parker.

Parker nods, sniffling a little. “I can’t believe I messed up this bad,” she sobs.

Happy resists the urge to roll her eyes. “Can I give you some advice?”

Parker nods, sniffling.

“Next time you want to hire a murder cult,” Happy begins, “don’t.”

Toby closes the phone. “We’re good. Paige and Sylvester are on their way, and we’ll get a phone call once they know anything further.”

Parker sniffles and plays some game on her phone while Toby bounces his knee and Happy paces.

“This is the worst,” Happy grumbles. “I hate waiting. I didn’t even feel this nauseated when I was in my first trimester.”

Parker’s head snaps up again. “You’re actually pregnant?” she asks. “I thought that was just a line to get you into my house.”

Happy freezes. “Don’t tell anyone,” is the first thing she thinks of saying.

“Hap, she’s eighteen year old party girl who knows none of us,” Toby says. “Who’s she going to tell?”

“Good point,” Happy says. She turns to Parker. “Still. Lips zipped.”

Parker nods. “I just – I wanted to say congratulations.” She smiles for the first time since Toby and Happy walked into her apartment. “I really like babies.”

“Uh,” Happy says. “Thanks.” It’s probably the strangest conversation Happy’s had in years.

They wait in silence for longer, almost too long, before they get another phone call announcing that all was well, that they had reclaimed control of the yacht and the only gunfire was Cabe hitting the leader of the Grey Hawks in the knee to keep him from firing at the diplomat.

“Oh, thank god,” Toby says, pulling Happy in for a hug. She lets him, because ever since they found out about the baby he’s been way more anxious about this job, worried about something bad happening to one or both of them.

“We’re good, Doc,” she says, patting his back.

“I know,” he replies. "Thank god."

“You can let go now,” Happy says. “And neither of us were in danger. At all. The entire night.”

He lets go of her. “Right. Sorry,” he gives her a sheepish smile. “I guess I’m just a little anxious.”

“No fucking kidding,” Happy grumbles.

Toby turns to Parker. “Let’s get you to the police station, Parker.”

“Police station?” Parker asks. “Why?”

“You aided and abetted a bunch of criminals,” Toby replies. “If you turn yourself in, you’ll get a way better deal than avoiding it.”

“Can’t my parents just pay for me to get out of jail?” Parker asks, hands on her hips.

Happy scoffs. “Yeah, you almost just got them killed. Let’s see how likely they are to bail you out now.”

“They’re my parents,” Parker says firmly. “They’d do anything for me.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I feel like that might not hold up after you tried to kill them.”

Parker reels like Happy hit her. “If you really think that, you’re going to be a terrible mom,” she spits, and she storms out to sit in the back seat of Happy’s truck.

Happy freezes where she stands, and Toby walks right over to her.

“Oh, god,” she says. “Why do I care what that brat thinks?”

“Because you’re worried about her,” Toby says. “Ignore what she’s saying right now. She’s pissed because you’re right.” He catches her shoulders when she tries to walk away. “Hey. Look at me.”

Happy meets his eyes, and Toby’s so serious that it brings her back to earth. “You’re going to be an amazing mom because you don’t take any bullshit. And we’re going to raise a kid so awesome, so badass – hey, no,” he catches her face in his hands. “Don’t doubt yourself, okay? You can do this.”

“What if I can’t?” Happy asks, admitting out loud for the first time just how unsure she is of what’s coming next.

“You can,” Toby says. “Because you managed to talk a fancy socialite kid out of being a defensive, bratty child and giving up her source.” He brushes a thumb across her cheekbone. “What you did, even I wouldn’t have been able to do.”

Happy laughs. “Oh, so I get to play bad cop? Nice.”

“Nah,” Toby says, taking her hand. “We’ll trade.”

Parker is sitting in the back of the car with her arms folded, staring out the window, silent until they pull up to the police station.

“Do you want us to walk you in?” Toby asks, pushing open the passenger side door. “I don’t know if you heard, but I called your parents. They’re waiting for you with your lawyer.”

“Will you come?” Parker asks Happy.

Happy’s startled, but nods. “Yeah, I guess.”

She walks next to Parker, who looks small and scared. She’s taller than Happy by half a foot, but the fear and the running make up makes her look incredibly young and vulnerable.

“Here,” Happy says, draping her jacket over Parker’s shoulders. “It’s cold out here. I don’t want you to freeze.”

Parker sends her a grateful smile. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, so quietly Happy almost doesn’t hear.

“For what?”

“I shouldn’t have said you were going to be a bad mom,” she replies. “You’re probably going to be better than my mom.”

Happy shrugs. “Well, we all do stupid things when we’re pissed off.”

Parker offers up a tiny smile. “Yeah.”

The door opens and a woman looking rattled in a fancy blue dress darts toward them, wrapping her arms around Parker’s shoulders.

“Oh, my baby!” she exclaims, pressing her face into Parker’s shoulder. She pushes away. “What the hell were you thinking?”

An older man steps next to them, looking a bit distant and cold, but it’s more like he’s trying to fight his feelings than he feels nothing. Happy recognizes the expression from seeing it in the mirror for years.

“Are you Happy Quinn from Scorpion?” he asks, voice tight.

Happy nods.

“Thank you,” he says, holding out his hand, “for getting us home safe, and for watching after our daughter.”

Happy shakes his hand until someone taps her shoulder.

“Here’s your jacket,” Parker says with a tiny smile.

“No, it’s fine,” says Happy. “Keep it. You look cold.”

“I’m not taking clothes from a pregnant lady,” Parker says. “I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff in the past few days, but that’s where I draw the line.”

“Pregnant?” asks Parker’s father, looking astonished. “In this kind of job?”

“Are congratulations in order?” asks Parker’s mother, shooting an annoyed look at her husband.

Happy shrugs. “If you want. But, really,” she sighs, “I just want to get home.”

“Thank you again,” says Parker’s mother. “Really. And, congratulations.”

Happy nods as she pulls her jacket on again. She ignores the people looking at her as she walks to the car, adjusting her ponytail. It’s fallen into a complete mess in the past two hours.

“How’d it go?” Toby asks quietly when she gets into the car.

“She apologized for saying I’d be a bad mom,” Happy says, “and her parents thanked me. With a lawyer nearby, of course.”

“Of course,” Toby echoes.

They drive home silently, Toby’s hand resting on hers, until they park at the garage.

“This might sound stupid,” Toby says as they leave the car, “but I’m really proud of what you did today.”

“I talked to a person,” Happy replies. “For the rest of the world, that’s easy.”

“But for you it’s not,” Toby says. “Even so, you did an awesome job.”

Happy lets herself smile. “Is it weird that I’m kind of proud of myself too?”

Toby shakes his head. “No,” he replies, “because you’re awesome.”

They walk into the garage to see Walter and Paige’s heads unnecessarily close together as they speak.

The two of them spring apart when Toby clears his throat.

“Welcome back, guys,” says Paige. “How’d it go?”

“She’s got a good lawyer, and good parents,” Toby says. “But this is going to be a media firestorm once it gets out. We’ll see how she does.”

“No, we won’t,” says Cabe. “Don’t get attached to a case.”

“She’s eighteen,” Toby replies. “Zero frontal lobe. Clearly didn’t think through any of it. I’m allowed to be worried.”

“Don’t do that to yourself,” Cabe says, as if he’s speaking from experience. “Just drop it.”

“Oh, that’s sensitive,” Paige says. “But I’m so glad that one’s over. It’s only ten in the morning and I’m ready for bed.”

“In that case,” says Sylvester, “we should call it a day and celebrate tonight.”

“Drinks at 7:30?” Cabe asks. “I think we all need to buy Happy a round. Wouldn’t have gotten what we needed without her.” He pauses. “How exactly did you get her to let you into her apartment?”

Happy looks at Toby, who looks at her, and they silently agree that, well, that’s an opening. They might as well break the news.

“I told her I was pregnant,” Happy says.

“That’s a great idea,” says Sylvester. “Of course she’d let you in.”

Paige groans. “Are you kidding me? God, you people are beyond oblivious.”

“Wow,” Toby says, not even trying to hide his smile. “Obtuse doesn’t even cover it.”

Realization floods Cabe’s face. “No way,” he says.

“That’s what Paige said,” Happy replies. “But, uh. Yup. Yes way.” She points to her stomach. “Introducing, this fall, the new team member.”

“You are?” He looks nearly as excited as Toby was when she told him. “Happy, you’re having a baby?”

Happy nods, unable to keep from smiling, while Toby says, “Yeah. Consider yourself Grandpa, I guess.”

Cabe rushes in and hugs Toby so strongly and unexpectedly that Toby nearly falls over.

“Whoa there, Grandpa,” Toby says, clapping him on the back. “Don’t get too excited.”

“You’re having a baby?” Sylvester asks, looking so giddy it makes Happy smile.

Happy nods. “Yep.”

“I feel like hugging you,” he says, appearing surprised at his own words. “Can I hug you?”

“Why not,” Happy decides, and Sylvester hugs her so gently it’s like he’s worried she’ll break.

“What did I miss?” Walter asks, walking in front the bathroom. “Why are we hugging?”

Everyone turns to him.

“I want you to guess,” Toby says, folding his arms across his chest in a challenge. “You say you’re a genius? You tell us what’s going on.”

“You and Happy are engaged to be married,” Walter deduces after looking at all of them.

Happy holds up her hands. “No ring, bucko. Strike one.”

“In that case, and I cannot believe I’m saying this,” Walter begins, “but I don’t know.”

“Who’s going to tell him?” Toby says. “I don’t think I could say it without being condescending.”

“Same here,” says Happy.

“I’ve got it,” Paige says. She’s practically bouncing when she says, “Happy’s pregnant.”

Walter makes a face so ridiculous Happy has to laugh.

“I should say congratulations, right?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Toby says. “You should. And I would like to say,” Toby says, his hands in the air, “as much as you think my job isn’t as important, none of you could figure it out, and Happy and I have been incredibly obvious in the past few weeks.” He points at Walter. “You, my man, are not a genius in everything.”

“We had to eventually find one area of weakness,” Walter jokes. “Happy, congratulations.”

She nods at him. “Thanks. And, now that everybody knows,” she looks around to the team, “I’m probably not going to be chasing after trains or going into submarines until the kid comes.”

“Understood,” says Cabe. Before she knows it, he’s pulled her into a hug. “You’re going to be great.”

“Yeah,” says Toby, sending her a smile over Cabe’s shoulder, “I know.”


	6. Pregnancy, Week 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the whole team finds out. And baby shopping begins - but not by either of the parents.

There is nothing worse, Happy decides, than when the rest of the team is out on a job and she isn’t, especially when she wakes up alone because she told Toby to leave without her without realizing the team would actually let her sleep.

She reaches over to her bedside table for her cell phone, dialing Toby's number before she's completely awake.

“Hey, Happy, you’re awake!” Toby answers.

“Did you guys seriously go without me?” she asks, pushing herself up to sitting. “I was kidding.”

“Oh,” Toby says, and he sounds genuinely confused. “It’s just, you swore at me for waking you up, so I thought you were mad.”

Happy thinks back to when he woke her up. “Oh,” she says. “Right. I forgot about that part.”

“We’ll be back soon,” Toby says. “Meet you at the garage?”

“On my motorcycle?" Happy asks. "Even I know that's a bad idea."

“I had Walter pick me up,” Toby explains. “You’ve got your truck.”

Happy is touched. “That’s thoughtful of you.”

“Well, you are carrying my baby,” he says, sounding pleased. “The least I could do.”

“You just love saying that, don’t you.” Happy stretches out on the bed, taking up as much of the king sized bed as possible.

Toby laughs. “I really do.”

Happy rolls out of bed leisurely, because she doesn’t have to go anywhere right now and her back's not feeling the best. “I’ll see you guys at the garage?”

“Paige’ll be there before long,” Toby says. “She had a parent/teacher conference so she couldn’t get here.”

“Sounds good,” Happy replies.

She takes an absurdly long shower, taking as much time as she wants, because she’s got nowhere to be and nothing to do. For the first half hour it's nice to do a crossword puzzle without somebody trying to distract her, but it doesn’t take long before idle time begins to bore her out of her mind.

"Normal people can relax," Happy grumbles as she pulls on her boots. "Normal people can do nothing all day."

She drives to the garage and spends twenty minutes working on her old bike before her back starts aching enough to twist. She stands up slowly and tries her best to massage the knots out of her shoulders, but it fails miserably. Admitting defeat and back pain, Happy sits at her desk and begins fiddling with some random game she started on years before.

An hour later, Happy’s still playing around on her computer, debating whether or not to edit an old photo of Toby to add a ridiculous mustache, when Paige practically runs into the garage like her ass is on fire.

“Happy!” Paige exclaims. “Happy, I didn’t mean to.”

“What the hell did you do?” Happy asks, swinging her legs off of her work table and standing. “Kill the president? Because nothing else demands this level of urgency.”

“You’re starting to sound like Toby,” Paige says, wrinkling her nose. “But no. Better.”

“Almost everything is better than killing the president,” Happy replies.

Paige groans. “Take a joke,” she says, “I bought baby clothes.”

Happy stares at her incredulously. “You what?”

“Baby clothes,” Paige says. “I was bored out of my mind, because Ralph had a play date, you were asleep, and everyone else was off doing a job,, and I decided on Target.”

“You do that a lot,” Happy says, looking concerned. “Do you have a shopping problem?”

“Not unless baby clothes are involved,” Paige retorts. “Anyway, so I ended up in the baby department, unintentionally, and…” She trails off, looking sheepish. “I may have purchased some things.”

“Some things?” Happy asks. “We haven’t even started the nursery yet.”

“You should get on that, by the way,” Paige says, dropping her purse and coat and making her way back out to her car. “You never know when all of a sudden you might feel the exhaustion hit.”

“Well, the kid’s already killing my back,” Happy notes. “So there’s that.”

Paige laughs. “That’s not the worst of it,” she warns. “Wait until the baby ends up sitting right on top of your bladder. That’s when everything goes downhill. Organs get moved into the wrong place. It gets terrible.”

Happy wrinkles her nose. “Why don’t they mention the bad parts?”

“If they talked about the difficult parts of pregnancy,” Paige says, opening her trunk, “then nobody would get pregnant and the human race would die out.”

Happy planned on responding, but the words fall out of her head when she sees the jam packed trunk of Paige’s car.

“Paige,” Happy says, “this is insane.”

“Well, you need baby things!” Paige explains. “And I don’t see you being up for a baby shower, so this is my only opportunity.”

Happy’s about to argue, but she deflates. “You’ve got a point,” she agrees. “Baby shower is not happening.”

“See?” says Paige. “And, this way, we can figure out what you like and what you don’t, and we can return things if they don’t work.”

“We don’t even know the sex of the baby yet,” Happy says, digging through a bag that appears exclusively bright green. “You got every possible outfit you could.”

“Believe me,” Paige says, handing Happy two of the lighter weight bags, “there would be about quadruple the bags if these were all the baby things in the store. This is only about, I don’t know, five percent. I don’t know. I’m not the genius here.”

Happy just follows Paige into the garage, feeling dumbfounded. “And you did this because?”

Paige drops the bags on the ground. “Because you people are my family,” Paige says firmly. “And I don’t want any of you people to doubt, for even a second, that we’ve all got each other’s backs.” Then her expression turns a little guilty. “Also, I really want to be Auntie Paige.”

Happy laughs. “If you weren’t, the kid wouldn’t have any aunts. I thought it was a given.”

Paige’s face breaks into a smile. “Fantastic. Then let’s go through some baby clothes, shall we?”

"Do I have to?" Happy asks. "It's kind of intimidating."

Paige nods. "The sooner we start, the sooner we finish."

There’s so much clothing with so many absurd slogans and graphics that Happy’s overwhelmed in about thirty seconds.

“Why did you get so much?” Happy asks. “This is so unnecessary."

“You’d be surprised how many outfits babies go through in one day,” Paige says nonchalantly. “Especially when you’re first getting used to diapers. You’re going to get pooped on more than you can imagine.”

Happy wrinkles her nose. “That’s gross.”

“Get used to gross,” Paige says. “Because that’s going to be your life for a long time.”

"Only until the baby gets out of diapers," Happy replies.

Paige scoffs. "Oh, just wait until you have a fourth grader puking all over you. It's always gross." She shrugs. "But it's worth it."

It takes them about an hour, but Happy finds it strangely amusing to be sitting there on the floor with Paige, looking through outfits for her future kid. Happy picks the outfits she likes and the ones she thinks are ridiculous, and Paige sorts them. Within a few minutes, Happy’s back hurts from sitting on the floor and she stands, forcing herself to walk around.

“Nobody mentioned the back pain,” Happy says. “Why didn’t anybody bring that up?”

“Again,” Paige says, “because if they mentioned it, nobody would get pregnant.” She holds up a onesie with a myriad of zoo animals on it. "What about this?"

"Elephants aren't blue," Happy replies.

Paige rolls her eyes. "It's baby clothes. Facts aren't necessary until they're, like, two."

Before long, there are two relatively equal in size piles; one to return, and one for Happy to throw in the car to bring home.

“I cannot wait to see your kid in this one,” Paige says, holding up a onesie that says, “The Snuggle is Real.”

“I don’t even get what that’s supposed to be saying,” Happy says.

“Toby will,” Paige insists. “It’s funny. I swear.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “You people think things are funny that really aren’t.”

“And by you people,” Paige says, “you mean me and Toby. I get it.”

They hear a car pull up in the drive way, and Ralph comes bounding into the garage.

“Mom!” he exclaims. “Mom, you’ll never believe –” he stops short when he sees the pile of clothing. “What’s that?”

Happy and Paige turn to each other.

“You didn’t tell him?” Happy asks.

“It wasn’t my news to tell,” Paige says.

Ralph looks between them. “Which one of you is pregnant?” he asks, and his exasperation is hilariously more adult than it should be, something that’s a weirdly frequent event from Ralph.

“Not me,” Paige says, looking startled.

Ralph turns to Happy. "You?"

"Yep."

"You're pregnant?" he asks, looking surprised.

Happy nods.

Ralph looks pensive for a moment. “You’re having a baby,” he replies, but instead of sounding like a clarifying question, it sounds like he’s telling himself.

Happy nods. “Yep.”

Ralph looks concerned. “And you want the baby, right?”

Paige’s expression is absolute horror. “Ralph, that’s not something we ask people –”

“No, it’s okay,” Happy says sincerely. “Yeah, Ralph. Toby and I are really excited.”

The anxiety fades from his face. “Good,” Ralph says. “Because Mom wanted me, but my dad didn’t. So that made things a little tough.”

Happy thinks she watches Paige’s heart break in front of her. Immediately, Paige drops so she’s eye level with Ralph, her hands resting on the tops of his arms. “Your dad,” she says firmly, “loves you. He just – doesn’t really know how to show it.”

“I’m not upset about it,” Ralph says. “My family’s here.” He smiles up at Happy, that little grin that’s made horrible days better a million times over. “And if your baby has us for a family, that’s better than what most people get.”

Happy smiles at him. “I like the way you think, kid,” Happy replies, and she can’t keep the grin from growing when she makes a connection. “How would you like to be the baby’s big cousin?”

Ralph’s eyes grow huge. “Really?” he asks. “That’d be awesome!”

“You’re going to be amazing, Ralph,” Paige says, pulling into what appears to be a crushing hug.

Ralph coughs. "Mom," he chokes out, "Mom, squeezing me."

"Right," Paige says, letting go and kissing his forehead. "I'm just really proud of who you've become."

Ralph grins at her. "I'm proud of you too, Mom." Then he turns to Happy. "Can I teach her how to read?” Ralph asks. “Because that seems like fun.”

“We don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy yet, Ralph,” Happy explains. “It’s still too early.”

“I think it’s a girl,” Ralph says, appearing far more certain than he should. “I’m pretty sure, actually.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Paige asks, looking bewildered.

Ralph shrugs and says, very seriously, “I guess I’m just a genius.”

Happy and Paige are laughing when Toby walks in, looking confused. “Why are we laughing?”

“Apparently I’m hilarious,” Ralph says with an eye roll. “I’m going to go do my homework.”

“What, didn’t finish it at school?” Toby asks, ruffling Ralph’s hair.

Ralph shrugs. “My teacher made me extra homework.” He smiles. “She’s talking to one of the calculus teachers at the high school. It’s kind of hard, but I really like it.”

Happy grins. “Did I hear calculus? Let me help you. I love calc.”

“You,” Toby says, “you love calculus?”

Happy nods. “Just because I got a GED instead of a diploma doesn’t mean I didn’t learn stuff,” she shoots back.

“Fair enough,” Toby concedes. 

“Come on, Ralph. Have you started derivatives yet?"

They’re five minutes into his homework before Happy looks over and sees Paige and Toby laughing over a bunch of onesies. Toby's practically crying with laughter into one that says, "Oh dear sir, I do believe I have shat in my pantaloons."

Paige notices her watching. “Told you he’d think these were funny.”

“The baby’s wearing this on the way home from the hospital,” Toby insists. “It’s the only thing I’ll insist on.”

"Um, no way," Happy replies. "Choose another one."

He holds the one with "The Snuggle Is Real" on it. "What about this one?"

“If I agree on that, will I be able to go back to the math?”

Toby nods. “I think we can do that.”

“Alright,” says Happy. “Then sold.”

* * *

“I don’t think we thought through the fact that we haven’t cleaned out our office yet,” Toby says, staring at the mess of a room.

“No kidding,” Happy replies. “Where are we going to put all these baby clothes?”

“Think we could convert that desk into a dresser?” Toby asks, tilting his head to the side.

Happy turns to him. “I could turn a bookshelf into a bed if I tried hard enough. The real question is when are we going to get rid of it.”

“Get rid of it?!” Toby exclaims. “It’s my desk.”

“It’s a junk magnet,” Happy replies, trying not to show it on her face how amused she is. “Come on, Toby, when was the last time either of us was actually in this room?”

“Last week,” Toby replies.

“You came in here last week to throw a bunch of junk on the floor,” Happy replies, picking up one of Toby’s old psych reports. “Like this. Do we need this?”

“Yes,” Toby says. “It’s the psych report from that Grey Hawks job! It’s interesting!”

“You made a ‘bye, bye, Birdie’ joke on the first page,” Happy says, reading down. “Toby, this is one big pun.”

“Exactly! It’s funny.”

Happy just looks at him.

“Don’t do that,” Toby says, looking disturbed. “That’s terrifying.”

“What’s terrifying?”

“That expression,” Toby says. “You look like you’re about to kill me.”

Happy takes the chance. “I will if you don’t help me clean this mess up.”

He pouts. “But not really, right?” He wraps his arms around her waist. “Because you love me?”

“Debatable.”

He kisses her. “Still debatable?”

She fights a smile. “Yup.”

He walks her backward until she bumps into the wall, and lines his body against hers. “Still?” His hand rests on her hip, and she can't believe that still, after all this time, that tiny touch sparks a fire in her.

Happy hums in response, exchanging words for a touch by sliding her hands up around his neck.

Toby kisses her again, his hands hot and strong on her hips, thumbs rubbing circles against her skin.

She can’t keep a moan from escaping her lips as his mouth works its stupid magic, and she half wants to hit him when he laughs.

“You totally love me,” he murmurs.

“More so when you’re not talking,” Happy grumbles.

“I’ll take that.” He kisses her again, and before long she’s desperate to feel him against her, unwilling to wait any longer. She reaches for his belt and pulls it out in one movement.

“Somebody’s impatient,” he mutters.

“Not impatient,” Happy says, “it’s just that I came up with a great use for that dumb desk of yours.”

Toby’s eyes widen. “God, you’re a genius.” He lets go of her and tries to wipe everything off the desk, but instead he slams his arm into a stack of books and winces. “I, apparently, am not.”

Happy just kicks her leg at the books and knocks the tower to the ground.

“Is it weird that I found that hot?” Toby asks. “Because I am extremely turned on right now.”

Happy hops up on the desk,smirking at him. “So put it to good use.”

He practically dives toward her, and Happy can’t help but laugh.

“You know,” Toby says, pulling her leggings down her hips, “we’re going to have to take care of this room at some point.”

“Yeah,” says Happy, barely able to focus on her words as Toby’s lips drag along her hip bones, “but stop talking about that. You’ve got better things to do.”

Toby laughs, taking an unreasonably long time to pull her underwear down her hips. He kisses at her skin just enough to heat her up, but moves his lips to the tops of her legs to draw it out further. Happy half hates and half loves when he takes his time like this, pressing kisses along the skin of her thighs to make sure she's so turned on she can't breath by the time his mouth is where she wants it. “Damn right I do.”

 

 

Note: Links to the onesies [here](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/113293746854348671/) and [here](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/113293746854348656/)


	7. Pregnancy, Week 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy gets restless as the rest of the team goes on a cases that aren't safe for her or the baby. And then she makes a risky call.

The next few weeks consist of easy jobs, ones where Happy can design a mechanical fix and implement it without any danger, or, when there’s something that might impact her health or the baby, she talks Walter through the implementation of the machine and waits, bored as all hell, at the garage.

Mostly she’s spent her time trying out and mildly disliking every work out Dr. Morneau has suggested, and ignoring the fact that she’s constantly craving waffles, ice cream, or, weirdly enough, carrot sticks.

“This is boring,” she always complains from the garage. “Somebody give me something to do.”

Half a dozen times, Toby’s thrown her one of his baby books. He’s purchased at least thirty at this point, and she’s finding them everywhere.

“What to Expect When You’re Expecting?” Happy asks. “I thought this was a sitcom joke.”

“Nope,” Toby replies, kissing Happy on the cheek as he darts out the door. “Read it. It’ll suck up your time while you wait.”

“I don’t want to suck up my time,” Happy groans, catching the book Toby’s tossed at her from his bag. “I want to do something. Work. Be less bored out of my mind.”

“We’ll be back before you know it,” Toby assures her. “Love you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Happy grumbles. But at least today Ralph’s hanging out at the garage, and she has something that will entertain her.

“This,” Happy says, falling down on the couch next to Ralph, “is the worst.”

“You’re telling me,” Ralph says. “You people never let me go with.”

Happy shoots him a grin. “You know, I’ve never thought about that,” she replies. “I’m starting to get a taste of our own medicine, apparently.”

Ralph rolls his eyes. “I know. This waiting around thing is terrible.”

Happy cracks open the book Toby had thrown her, and she and Ralph read silently next to each other on the couch. It’s nice, she thinks. If her kid is anything like Ralph, she’ll consider herself the luckiest mom in the world. The word still doesn’t quiet resonate with her yet, though she thinks it might once her slowly swelling belly starts to get more prominent. But right now she feels a bit detached, like it isn’t quite happening yet.

She finishes the book in about an hour, and ends up getting so bored she teaches Ralph how to change the oil in her truck with one hand.

“Behind your back!” she insists. “Come on, kid, one handed.”

“Are you sure you should be doing this right now?” Ralph asks, frowning.

“What, when I’m pregnant?” Happy asks. “Yeah. It’s oil.”

“No, I mean when we’re in the middle of making lunch,” Ralph corrects. “I think something’s burning.”

Happy pushes her creeper out from under the car at the speed of light and tries to simultaneously wash her hands and get the burnt grilled cheese out of the pan.

“Is it stuck to the bottom of the pan?” Ralph asks. “Because you can deglaze it with white wine.”

“That doesn’t work with sandwiches, Ralph,” Happy calls back. “And stop watching Chopped all the time. You’re better than us at almost everything – you can’t be better at cooking.”

She hears Ralph giggle. “You’re the one who burnt grilled cheese.”

Happy has Ralph finish the oil change while she restarts lunch, and they’re eating within about half an hour.

“I needed both hands,” Ralph explains. “But I did it. And only got a little bit all over me!”

“Yeah, we might need to get you a new shirt after lunch,” Happy says, frowning. “You’re covered.”

The two of them spend the rest of the day quizzing each other with trivia and using Toby’s desk as a ping pong table with obstacles.

“Don’t tell him we knocked over his stack of medical journals,” Happy says.

“Twice,” Ralph adds.

Happy shoots him a look. “Exactly.”

The rest of the team gets back five hours after they’ve left, covered in mud and looking rattled.

“What happened to you?” Ralph asks.

“Somebody,” Paige says, sounding angry, “didn’t mention to the rest of his team that this job, which should have just been moving a trunk of radioactive waste to another area, easy as hell, involved trekking through mud and pulling said truck out.” She glares at Walter. “With a crane that none of us knew how to use.”

Happy snorts. “Looks like you, uh,” she coughs, “looks like you were a big stick in the mud.”

Toby laughs so hard he crashes into the heavy bag.

* * *

Happy and Toby spend too much time in the shower that night, lazy and warm and probably racking up a huge water bill, and they fall into bed before 9 in the evening.

“Is this our life now?” Toby asks. “Are we old people?”

“You actually did something today,” Happy replies. “I read a book and played with a motorcycle, and I’m just as tired.”

“You didn’t do nothing,” Toby says, rolling over to kiss her. “You were growing a human being.”

“When you say it like that, it sounds weird,” Happy mumbles against his lips.

He kisses her forehead. “Love you,” he says.

Happy nods. “Love you, too,” and because she can’t resist, “dope.”

She’s curled against his side, his arm around her shoulders, when Toby says, “Hey, Hap?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you mess with my medical journals today?”

Happy’s quiet for a moment. “The pregnant lady you are trying to reach is asleep right now. Please try again at a later time.”

“I need to stop letting you steal my jokes,” Toby says. “But that was funny.”

“Of course it was,” Happy mumbles into his chest. “I’m hilarious.”

He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Yeah.”

Unfortunately, the pleasant mood fades when she wakes up in the middle of the night to find one of Toby’s baby books jabbing into her shoulder.

“Toby,” she grumbles. She picks up the book and tosses it out of the way, and winces when she hears something shatter.

Toby sits up ram rod straight, and Happy’s not sure he’s actually awake when he shouts, “Shots fired!”

“I threw a book,” Happy explains, yawning. Her belly does something strange, but she ignores it. “Go back to sleep.”

Toby blinks himself awake until he turns to Happy. “You threw a what?”

“You fell asleep reading again,” she replies.

“What crashed?”

“I threw a book,” Happy repeats.

Toby rolls over and turns on the light. “And why did you throw a book?”

“It was stabbing me in the shoulder,” Happy replies. “So I threw it.”

He looks over. “I think you broke a lamp.”

“We’ll take care of it in the morning,” Happy says, because all she wants to freaking do is sleep. “Also, what does it mean if there’s a weird feeling?”

“What?”

“God, you’re dumb when you’re tired,” Happy says. She points to the barely-bump. “Baby. Weird feeling.”

“Like a butterfly?” Toby asks.

“More like something shifting.”

“The baby’s probably just moving around,” Toby explains. “Don’t worry.”

Happy nods. “Okay.”

He presses a kiss to her forehead. “The baby’s okay, love. Go to sleep.”

“Sounds good to me,” Happy says.

She closes her eyes, but she can’t sleep. And she can’t sleep. And she can’t sleep.

She gives up after waiting thirty minutes and grabs one of the blankets Paige got for them as a house warming gift, curling up on their couch in the living room. She rests her hand on her belly as she looks around and decides to pick up one of the books Toby had read three times in the past two weeks, _Practical Handbook for New Dads._

Before Happy knows it, she’s read three books and eight medical journal articles in the three hours she’s awake, gaining more and more paranoia about what it’s going to be like when the baby’s born. For so long her anxiety had been about being pregnant, giving birth, surviving.

Now she’s just a little worried about a laundry list of medical and cognitive challenges her child might have.

With the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, Happy walks into the office, not even a nursery yet, and looks around. Patrick had given them a rocking chair – the same one he rocked Happy in, he explains – and that’s the only thing in the room that even suggests a child would be in here. The mess they left that night on Toby’s desk hasn’t been cleaned yet, and all of her things are still piled in the corners.

She’s only got twenty-two weeks left, and they haven’t even started the place the baby will call his or her home.

She rests her hand on her belly, feeling the baby shift again.

“Between you and your dad, I’m never going to sleep,” she mumbles.

She sits in the rocking chair and rocks for a few minutes, startled to find out that the baby stops moving. It briefly terrifies her.

“You know, rocking is like walking,” Toby says, walking into the nursery. “Makes the baby fall right asleep.”

Happy looks up. “So the baby’s fine?” she asks. “Also, I’m suddenly really paranoid about microcephaly.”

“You read the medical journals, didn’t you,” Toby says, sighing.

“You told me to!”

“I told you to read specific books,” Toby explains. “Not the medical journals on infant birth defects and childhood cognitive disabilities!”

Happy rolls her eyes. “They were there, and I couldn’t sleep,” Happy retorts. “And if you know, I want to know. No secrets.”

“No secrets,” Toby agrees. “Come back to bed. It’s nearly six in the morning.”

“Can’t sleep,” Happy says. “You and the kid made sure of it.”

“Then I’m going to cuddle you until you get so comfortable you have to fall asleep,” Toby decides. “Come on. We’re spooning.”

“Oh, god, are you going to make fun of me for that again?” Happy asks, following him. “Because you couldn’t take a hint. I had to spell it out for you.”

“You weren’t sending a hint,” Toby clarifies. “You called me cowboy, which was so weird I couldn’t speak. That’s not my fault.”

“Well, clearly we made some progress somewhere,” Happy decides, “because I’m pregnant and you live in my apartment.”

“We live in our apartment,” Toby clarifies with a dopey grin on his face. He pulls her so his chest is warm against her back. “Now go to sleep. We don’t have to be up for another couple of hours.”

He says something else, but she falls asleep before the end of his sentence.

* * *

They’re woken up by an insistent Walter an hour and a half later, because there’s some kind of crisis that they need to be present for.

“Do I have to wake up?” Happy asks. “I can’t go on the job anyway.”

“We need you with Sly at the garage,” Walter insists. “It will be easier to communicate if our teams are in two places instead of three.”

And there she finds herself, two hours later, sitting hanging out with Sly in the garage while the rest of the team is on a plane trying to prevent a completely different, hijacked plane from going down.

“This is awful,” Happy groans, dropping onto the couch. “They have my tech, I’m the one who knows what to do, and yet I’m stuck here.”

“Yeah,” says Sylvester, “because the plane could get shot down and pregnant people probably wouldn’t do too well in a parachute harness.”

“I’d make do,” Happy argues.

The look of annoyance on Sly’s face is almost disarming. “You need to make better choices.”

“You need to shut up.”

He cracks a smile. “Duly noted.”

She waits impatiently on the couch, staring at her newly popped baby bump.

“This is all your fault,” she says to the baby. “You better be cute when you come out.”

Sly looks at her. “Are you talking to me?”

“I’m talking to my unborn child,” Happy corrects.

Happy walks to her computer screen, because she wants a better idea of what’s going on. As much as Toby’s worried about her, she’s worried about him when he ends up with the team on jobs where he’s expected to be the medical support. He loses sight of his own safety when someone else is hurt. And that scares her.

“Hey, Sly?” she says. “Have you taken a look at the com system recently?”

“No, I’ve been writing the code to break into the plane’s system.” His brow furrows. “Why?”

“I can’t talk to them,” Happy replies. “Nothing’s going through.” She hits the computer a few times, just for good measure. “I’ve got nothing.”

Sylvester does something to his computer. “Oh, great,” he complains. He looks up at Happy. “We’ve lost Wi-Fi.”

“Easy,” Happy says, standing. “I’ll go into the box outside and fix it. Take me five minutes, max.”

“I’m not sure you should be on a ladder,” Sylvester says hesitantly.

She turns to him. “I won’t be,” she corrects. “I’m going to climb up the telephone pole.”

“That worries me even more.”

She glares at him. “Are you going to stop me?”

He looks around, clearly torn between letting her go and running in front of the door. “I don’t think I can stop you,” he finally says.

“Glad you know that,” says Happy. She grabs everything she’d need. “I’ll be five minutes.”

“Oh, no,” Sylvester says. “If I can’t stop you, I’m at least coming with you.”

Happy groans, but lets Sylvester follow.

“I’ll try to catch you if you fall,” Sylvester calls up to her as she climbs, her tool belt clanging against the pole as it rests below her belly, “but I can’t guarantee it will be graceful.”

“Then I won’t fall,” Happy shouts back down to him.

The mechanical fix is quick and easy, and she’s heading back down the telephone pole within five minutes.

“You people worry too much,” Happy says, making her way back to the ground. “What was I going to do, slip?”

“You could have,” Sylvester replies.

Happy rolls her eyes. “Well, apparently I defy all –” Her next word was supposed to be expectations, but instead the lace of her boots catches on a step and she feels herself plummeting to the ground before she can catch herself.

She lands directly on top of Sylvester, who catches her as he falls to the ground.

They’re silent and still for a moment as Happy tries to orient herself.

“Okay,” says Sylvester. “I’m very happy I was out here.”

Happy exhales. “Me too,” she admits. “We’re never telling Toby about this,” she says, sure to put at least a bit of a threat in her voice. “Got it?”

Sylvester nods. “If you insist,” he agrees. “Also, please don’t kill me.”

Happy scrambles to her feet, touching her hand to her stomach. As much as she doesn’t feel like it, it was a big deal, and it’s comforting to feel the tiny flutters from the baby. She didn’t realize how terrifying that moment between checking for the baby’s movement and feeling the baby move was.

Even more terrifying, though, is Toby’s face when she turns to see him standing in front of the garage, in perfect view of the whole debacle. She’s hoping briefly that he didn’t see what happened, but the look of horror on his face proves to her that, yeah, he saw it.

“Toby –”

“What the hell were you thinking?!” he exclaims.

Sly scrambles to his feet. “Coms were down on our end for about two hours, and she was trying to –”

“Not right now, Sly,” Toby says. “Happy, what the hell was that?”

“I’m fine,” Happy insists, pushing past the rest of the team. “Seriously, chill out. Nothing happened.”

“Oh, really?” Toby says. “That kind of stress – if you had fallen in the other direction – if you –” He can’t seem to finish a sentence. “You could have died!”

“I wouldn’t have died,” Happy argues. “I would have broken something.” Probably. She’s actually never fallen from that height before.

“Or lost the baby,” Toby says. “Think of that?”

Happy turns to him. “Oh, no, that slipped my mind, easy to do when your kid is doing the freakin’ Macarena every twenty minutes,” she bites back. “Of course I thought of that. Again, I’m fine. The baby’s fine. Let it go.”

“Oh, so this is something we just blow past,” Toby says. “Things are different now, Happy, you can’t just go around taking these kinds of risks. We have a baby to think about.”

“Or you could shut up and trust me,” Happy snaps.

Toby stares at her. “This has nothing to do with trusting you!” he says.

“Then what the fuck is the problem?!” Happy exclaims, and she feels bad that she’s raised her voice, but she’s pissed and she wants an answer.

“The problem?!” Toby replies, and Happy’s only a little surprised that he’s matched her volume. “The problem is that you can’t do something that stupid and not expect me to freak out about it!”

Happy feels her face harden to stone. “You think you can tell me what I can and can’t do?” she asks, her voice ice cold and dangerous to her own ears.

“Well,” Toby says, not baking down, “I’m getting worried that your judgement isn’t your best, considering you scaled a damn telephone pole without any sort of safety measure.”

Happy folds her arms across her chest. “You think I’m incapable because I’m pregnant.”

“No,” Toby replies, “I think you’re being reckless and stupid because you’re bored, but it has nothing to do with being pregnant.”

“Oh, so now I’m stupid?” Happy asks. “Go fuck yourself, Curtis.”

He reels back, clearly stung, because Happy hasn’t gone by last names in over a year. He lets Happy walk away.

She walks over to her station and closes herself off. As she slams the hammer into a piece of metal she starts to realize that, as angry she is at Toby, she’s equally angry at herself. If Sylvester hadn’t been there, she would have broken something. Or worse, really hurt herself and lost the baby. It was stupid. It was reckless.

She just didn’t need Toby telling her that.

Happy throws down the hammer and looks at her computer screen, distracting herself by writing code for that video game she’ll never finish. She needs to cool down, and before long she’s mostly just kicking herself. There’s nothing she hates more than fighting. Especially with Toby. She’s tired and scared and so stir-crazy it’s killing her, but mostly she’s just overwhelmed by how fast that day went from boredom to chaos.

The rest of the team is giving them space, but, as it always happens when there’s a blow up, she and Toby are the last ones left in the garage. Nobody’s walked close to her in the past three hours, even during the debrief of the mission. But, she notes, nobody’s gone near Toby either.

Neither she nor Toby wants to move to leave first, because they drove to work together. They live together. They won’t be able to escape the fallout of that argument for long.

She senses Toby stand and walk toward her without even looking up from the computer. Happy doesn’t know when it happened, but some time in the past year or so she developed almost a radar for him, an ability to know where he is in relation to her at any given time.

“What do you want?” she snaps, her eyes still on the computer screen.

“You don’t have to,” says Toby softly, “but I think this would go better if you looked at me.”

“Yippee for you,” Happy replies, not moving her eyes from the screen.

Toby is silent for some time, just waiting. Eventually it annoys her so much that she turns to him.

“What,” she asks, “haven’t called me stupid enough times in one day?”

He looks appropriately sheepish. “That was the worst thing I’ve ever said,” Toby says. “And I shouldn’t – I’m dumb.” He tries for a smile at her. “I’m trying to apologize.”

Happy feels a tiny smile appear on her lips despite herself. “I haven’t seen something that pathetic since your last attempt at pushups.”

Toby looks offended. “Hey!”

“Am I wrong?” she asks.

He smiles at her apologetically. “I’m sorry I told you that you couldn’t do something,” he finally says. “That wasn’t my place.”

Happy shrugs. “I probably shouldn’t have done it,” she admits. “As much as I hate to say it, scaling that pole was stupid and reckless.”

Toby’s eyes widen. “And now I’m concerned again.” He walks around her station to stand next to her. “You want some of my dime store psychology?”

Happy shrugs. “You’re going to say it whether I want it or not, so go for it.”

“Are you,” he asks, resting a hand on her shoulder, “by any chance feeling cooped up and restless here at the garage?”

“Duh.”

“And maybe a little anxious about,” he shrugs, “all the medical journals you read last night?”

“That’s just obvious,” Happy replies.

Toby smiles. “So you found something you could fix and focus on,” he says, leaning his hip against her work bench as he takes her hand, “something close, because you couldn’t handle being stuck in here doing nothing, because doing nothing made you think of bad things.”

Happy shrugs as she stands and steps into his arms, resting her head against his chest. “Maybe,” she mumbles. “Stop doing the shrink thing. It’s annoying when you’re right all the time.”

“So what can we do about that?” Toby asks. “Because I hate that you’re stuck here too. Work is boring as hell without you.”

She shrugs. “Pop out the kid?”

“That’s a long term plan,” Toby replies.

Happy shrugs. “Give me more to do around here?” she asks.

“I gave you a bunch of books, but you’ve read them all,” Toby replies. He kisses her forehead.

“So,” says Happy. “We’ll play it by ear. Figure out what makes the most sense depending on the day.”

“And,” Toby says, and Happy doesn’t want to admit how nice it is to have Toby’s arms around her again, “when he or she is born, we’ll hand off who stays home with him or her when we have cases.”

“Deal,” Happy says. It doesn’t take long before she recognizes some hesitation. “You okay?”

Toby nods. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you secretly worried about the baby?”

Toby nods again, looking a little sheepish. “And you,” he’s quick to add.

“I’ll call and see if Dr. Morneau has a second to see us,” Happy says, pulling out her phone.

“Oh,” says Toby, kissing her forehead, “thank god.”

Dr. Morneau is luckily in the office with an opening, and Happy and the baby are just fine.

“You sure?” Happy asks.

“I thought I was the worried one,” Toby says.

Happy shrugs. “I think I might be permanently worried. I’m going to be a mom.”

“That sounds about right,” Dr. Morneau says. “Being a mom is something that’s always going to make you worry.”

Happy nods. “But, uh, regarding falling off of a telephone pole –”

“With that, you have nothing to worry about. Though,” she begins hesitantly, “as your doctor, I would not suggest scaling telephone poles. In any situation. Pregnant or not pregnant.”

“She’s got a point,” Toby says to Happy.

“I get it,” Happy says emphatically. “No more wifi fixing without the appropriate safety measures. I swear.”

“And, uh,” Toby looks a little eager. “Can we find out the sex of the baby now?”

“Doesn’t look like it,” Dr. Morneau says. “I’m no ultrasound tech, but from what I can see, your kid’s got their back to me. I could do a blood test, but that’s more expensive and takes longer.”

Happy looks at Toby. “We can wait, right?” she asks. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Sounds good to me,” Toby agrees.

They say goodbye to Dr. Morneau, and accidentally spend the drive home arguing about baby names.

“I still really like Laura Grace,” Happy insists. “It’s pretty!”

“It sounds like Laura Ingalls Wilder,” Toby insists. “I hated those books.”

“I never read them,” Happy says. “Are they that bad?”

“They’re terrible,” Toby says emphatically.

“Well, you like Carleton as a name,” Happy counters.

Toby nods. “Yeah,” he says. “It’s fun.”

“I’m not going to give birth to a man in his seventies,” Happy says. “Nobody names their kid Carleton anymore.”

“Well, in that case, we’re not naming our kid Alexandria.”

Happy’s jaw drops, and she stops for longer than necessary at a stop sign just to glare at him. “What the hell’s wrong with Alexandria?”

“The kid wouldn’t be able to spell their name until the fifth grade!” Toby exclaims. “We had it easy. It would be unfair to give the kid a name like that.”

Happy considers it. “Okay, you’ve got a point.”

“Yes!” Toby says, punching the air. “Victory for Curtis.”

Happy scoffs. “Oh, right. Now you’re all pleased with yourself.”

Toby’s tone changes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Happy insists. “I’m – we’re going to come up with something we both like, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Toby says. “Eventually. It might take a while, but,” he shrugs. “We’ll get there.”

When they get home, Toby catches Happy in his arms and holds her for a little while.

“I love you,” he mutters as he kisses the top of her head.

“Love you too,” Happy replies. “Why are you hugging me in our kitchen?”

“Because I’m always scared that I’ll fuck up, and today, I did.” He pulls away just far enough to look her in the eye. “And for some reason, you still love me. I’m just not used to being able to argue with someone like that and go back to normal so fast.”

“To be fair, I fucked up too,” Happy says. “Call it even?” She pulls away just enough to look at him, just enough to make sure they’re okay.

Toby smiles at her. Right before he kisses her, Toby says, “Deal.”

* * *

She wakes up, late at night, to Toby speaking. She catches the end of a sentence, out of context.

“…better than I’ve ever deserved.”

She blinks awake to see Toby eye level with her belly, on his stomach with his legs kicked up behind him. It’s still pitch black in the room, and Happy would guess one or two in the morning if she had to. Toby sleeps even less than she had originally thought.

“I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you two are happy,” Toby insists. “You guys are more that the world to me.”

Happy can’t resist commenting. “Do you do this every night?”

Toby’s so startled he jumps and rolls right off the bed. Happy can’t hold back a snort.

“God, you’re easy to scare,” Happy says, leaning over the edge of the bed. “You okay?”

“Just didn’t know you were awake,” Toby assures. “Um. How long have you been awake, exactly?”

“About thirty seconds,” she replies. “Wasn’t quite sure what was going on.”

“I,” Toby says, “was talking to the baby again.”

“Is that what we’re supposed to do?” Happy asks. “Because it just seems strange.”

“It’s important,” Toby says. “She’ll know your voice no matter what, because she’s literally a part of you right now, but me – she won’t hear me quite as much. So, when I can’t sleep.” He shrugs. “I talk to the baby.”

“She?” Happy asks.

“Or he,” Toby says. “We’ll find out soon enough.” He crawls back into bed. “At least, I hope we do. I don’t like waiting.”

“I’m not even halfway there,” Happy says, snuggling into Toby’s side silently. “We have a while to wait.”

“I know,” Toby murmurs. “Happy, I’m so excited. I didn’t even think I wanted to be a dad, but here I am, and it’s going to happen.” He pulls her close. “We get to be parents.”

“Not even a little bit scared?” Happy asks, because she’ll be damned if she gives up her fears if she’s the only one.

“Oh, I’m terrified,” Toby says, like it’s not an admission of fear. “It’s quite possibly the most scared I’ve ever been. But, like I said a while ago,” he brushes his lips against her forehead, “it’s a really good kind of scared.”

“And it just keeps getting stronger,” Happy says.

“Yeah,” says Toby, “but so do the good parts.”

Before she falls asleep, Happy rests her hand on her belly, and she dreams of the rooftop and a baby girl in a white dress dancing.


	8. Pregnancy, Week 20

She’s woken up by a kiss.

“Hey, beautiful,” Toby says. He leans down and kisses her stomach. “And I didn’t forget about you.”

“Why are you so weird?” Happy asks, stretching. “The baby doesn’t know.”

“The baby has ears,” Toby insists. “So it can hear random things. Maybe one of those random things is my voice.” He lifts up her shirt and kisses her stomach again. “I love you very much, kiddo.”

Happy laughs when he peppers kisses all over her skin. “See? This way I get to show my love for both of you.”

“Weirdest," Happy repeats, "dad in history."

Toby shifts so he can kiss her, slow and deep and languid, and Happy realizes only when he pulls away that they don’t have to be awake right now.

“Why did you wake me up?” she asks skeptically.

Toby doesn’t meet her eyes. “I might have to go to a conference today.”

“You have to go to a what?” Happy asks. “How did you forget?”

“Because my damn phone sucks,” Toby replies. “I put in an alert but it registered it for next year instead of this year.”

“So,” says Happy, “you screwed up putting the alert in.” She pats his cheek. “Stop blaming the technology when you’re the doofus.”

Toby kisses her again, just a tiny one. “Also because I’m an idiot who will never deserve you and I can’t believe I’m missing today’s appointment.” He moves to press his lips to her forehead.

“I’ll be fine,” Happy says. “I can go alone.”

Toby wrinkles his nose. “Well, that’s just miserable. You need to bring somebody else who can take notes so all you have to do is sit there and answer a bunch of terrible, invasive questions.”

“You take notes?” Happy asks.

Toby nods. “Constantly. Ever noticed me on my phone?”

She stares at him. “You’re on your phone at the appointments.”

“Taking notes!” he says. He whips out his phone, showing her a document that he scrolls through for a good thirty seconds before he gets to the bottom. “See? I’m not texting.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Toby insists. “I just don’t want to miss anything.” And Happy then realizes it’s a comfort to Toby, to know that everything’s always written down somewhere. “Somebody has to go with to take notes.”

Happy thinks for a moment. “I bet Paige will go with me. She types fast.” She smiles at Toby the way he does to her, to try and tell him she gets it.

Toby nods. “Good idea.”

Happy’s smile shifts. “She’ll probably cry less than you do.”

“Hey!” says Toby. “Don’t judge. I get very emotional when I see our child.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Whatever. You better hope we don’t get a case. Walter’ll kill you if you’re not there and I can’t go.”

“And Paige would be gone.” Toby chuckles. “Can you imagine Walter trying to manage all those areas? It might be funny enough to risk it.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “I don’t feel like dying today, thanks.”

“Good point,” Toby replies. He leans in and kisses her again, “But,” he says, “I have an hour before I need to leave.”

“What ever will we do,” Happy replies, but she’s already pulling him toward her. Her lips find his again, and before long their clothing is lost somewhere in the sheets.

“We should do this every morning,” Toby murmurs against her lips.

There’s nothing Happy loves more than when her limbs are tangled with Toby’s. There was a time when this was too scary to think about, but now, after all this time, it just feels like they’ve been doing it for years.

Toby falls next to her when she’s warm and sated, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

“We should do this every morning,” he says again.

“You said that half an hour ago,” Happy laughs as he trails his hand up and down her side.

“So?” Toby says. “It was worth repeating.”

He kisses her one last time before getting up.

“I’ve got to shower,” he announces. “And then I need to go.”

“Can I join you?”

“The conference is invite-only for MDs,” he says, looking genuinely apologetic. “I would have brought you with if I could.”

“Sweet, but I meant showering,” Happy clarifies.

“Oh,” Toby says, lighting up. “Oh, definitely.”

Toby’s finally ready half an hour after that, rushing out the door.

Toby kisses her quickly, though, before he leaves. “I’ll call you when I get to the conference center. I should be back by five thirty.”

She nods. “Go be a big doctor. Nerd.”

“Love you!”

“Love you, too,” she says. She can’t resist adding, “dope” to the end.

She takes the day to relax on her own, for once getting the whole apartment to herself without having to worry about somebody else being in the way. She occasionally misses how nice it was to live alone. Nobody stealing her food, nobody getting in the way when she tried to work out. But, she realizes when she tries to take a nap on the couch and she can’t quite get comfortable, somebody’s always going to be in her way for the rest of her life.

Toby talks to the baby all the time, calling them “tiny” or “baby”, but Happy’s never seriously tried it without Toby next to her.

“Hi, baby,” she says, feeling strange. “Gonna see you again today.” She searches her brain for something else to add. “God, this is weird without your dad here. He’s way better at talking. You’ll figure this out soon.” She pauses, resting her hand on her belly. “You probably already figured it out, actually.”

She lay there in silence until she realizes that her appointment is soon enough that she should probably check with Paige that she can come to the appointment.

The phone rings a couple of times until Paige answers the phone. “Hello?” she says. She sounds a little breathless to Happy’s ears, but she probably just ran to the phone.

“Hey, Paige,” Happy says. “Uh,” suddenly, she has no idea how to ask what she needs to know. “Toby’s stuck at a medical conference.”

“Okay,” Paige says. “Is this a problem?”

“I was wondering if you could come with me,” Happy rushes out.

Paige is quiet on the other end for a moment. “Yes,” Paige says, careful and controlled. “When is it?”

“Two-thirty,” Happy answers. “Takes about twenty minutes to get there from my house. I’ll pick you up on the way.”

“Give me a second,” Paige says. Happy hears some discussion on the other end, until Paige returns and says, “I’ll be ready by 1:45. How early do you get there?”

Happy thinks about it. “I don’t know. Ten minutes?” The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes Toby puts most of the effort into the appointments and she just gets in the car.

“Okay, you just let me know when you’re here. See you soon!”

She hangs up the phone and Happy feels mildly confused about how the conversation went. Usually, Paige talks up a storm and Happy just sort of goes along with it, but this time it’s a ridiculously short conversation that ends with more questions than Happy expected.

“Baby,” Happy says, “I think Paige is up to something.”

Two hours later she’s texting Paige from the cab of her car, feeling a little weird about the fact that Paige is going to see her kid before most people even know he or she exists.

“Hey, Happy,” Paige says cheerily as she opens the door. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good,” Happy says. “Hey, I forgot to mention,” because you were so flippant on the phone, Happy mentally adds, “but I need you to take notes on your phone about what the doctor says. Toby apparently is more neurotic than we realized.”

Paige shrugs. “Drew did the same thing when I was pregnant. It’s the guy’s way of thinking they have some sort of control.”

The observation is so astute that Happy’s taken aback for a moment.

“I’ve done this before,” Paige says softly. “And I know we’re not that close, but I really appreciate you inviting me. I’m here for you.”

Happy’s quiet as they drive, letting Paige’s words sink in. Paige mirrors the silence, doing nothing more but tapping her fingertips on her legs to each song that comes on the radio. “Thank you for coming with,” she says as she parks.

She turns to Paige, who is smiling just a little bit. “Don’t worry about it,” she insists. “Really.” There’s something in Paige’s face where she always looks honest, and Happy’s stopped fighting the impulse to trust her. “I’m glad to be here.”

Their conversation is easy as they walk into the doctor’s office, like some wall between them has fallen down and Happy can open up to Paige without hesitating.

She answers honestly when Paige asks her about the baby, questions like were there worries at the start or what vitamins she takes.

“To be honest,” she says, “it wasn’t on purpose. Getting pregnant, I mean.”

“Again,” says Paige, “been there, done that. You think 19 year old sorority girl Paige Dineen was planning on a kid?” She laughs, almost at herself. “Yeah, right.”

“And you knew you could do it?” Happy asks. “You didn’t hesitate?”

Paige turns to her. “I didn’t just hesitate,” Paige says, and it feels like she hasn’t said these words in ages, “I almost didn’t have Ralph. I mean, think about it. I was a kid still, living in a sorority house with twenty other girls who knew about as much as I did about how to raise a kid. But after a while, I decided that, no matter how hard it would be, I was going to try being a mom.” She looks down, like she’s watching a memory play before her eyes. “Hasn’t been easy. But it’s been the best part of my life.” She smiles. “Being Ralph’s mom.”

“Any,” Happy fights for the right word, “complications?”

Paige shook her head. “Other than constantly puking for the first thirteen weeks, nothing. I was really young and had been a lacrosse player in high school, so I could handle pretty much everything. And I was lucky. There weren’t any problems in either pregnancy or labor.”

Happy nods slowly, because she’s not like that. She’s older, she’s been told not to do her hard athletics that she’s always done, and she’s got family history of complications.

“Happy Quinn?” the nurse asks.

They walk into the room, and Dr. Morneau opens the door, looking surprised.

“We have a new visitor!” she says. “Best friends?”

“Uh,” Happy says, “sure. Whatever. Let’s get this over with.”

Paige texts without even looking at the phone as the doctor rattles off random information, asking questions Happy wouldn’t have even thought about.

“Okay, now that we’re done with that part,” says Dr. Morneau, grinning, “are you ready to find out the sex of your baby?”

Happy’s eyes widen. “We’re doing what now?” She turns to Paige, thrown off. “Is that possible so soon?”

“Yeah,” Paige says, her lips curving into a smile. “That happens before you have the kid, you know.”

“I know that,” Happy snaps. “But Toby’s not here. I’m not finding out without him.” She frowns. “That seems wrong.”

Paige considers it. “How about this. You can tell me,” she says, nodding to Dr. Morneau, “and I’ll write it on a piece of paper. You guys can look at it when you’re together.”

“I can certainly do that,” Dr. Morneau says with a nod. “And that way nobody finds out before anyone else.”

Happy shrugs. “Works for me. Toby’s going to be kicking himself for missing this appointment.” But she goes silent as she watches the ultrasound, because their kid is on the big screen and that always renders her a little speechless.

“Hi, Mini Quinn,” Paige says to the screen. “Nice to finally see you.”

“Mini Quinn,” Happy repeats. “That’s a new one.”

Paige shrugs. “Sounds good together. Maybe, if it’s a girl, you could call her Minnie.”

“No way in hell,” Happy counters, “are we naming our kid after a mouse.”

Dr. Morneau writes the sex of the baby down on a piece of paper and Paige takes a peek, grins, and shoves it away.

“Why did you grin?” Happy asks skeptically, trying to remember if Paige expressed a hope for a boy or a girl. “What are you doing?”

“I grinned,” says Paige, “because I’m excited. But I don’t have a preference either way for your kid, so I’m just happy I get to know this before you do.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Of course.”

Happy fills out paperwork and answers final questions as she finds herself tempted to grab the paper from Paige’s hand, but she keeps it under control. They chat easily on the drive home, Happy laughing so hard she cries at Paige’s impression of Walter talking to a car salesman.

But then Happy's back sparks with a shooting pain again, and a question she's been trying to avoid pushes to the forefront of her mind.

“Can I ask you something?” Happy blurts out midway through laughing about Walter’s most recent attempt at flirting on a case.

“Of course,” Paige says. They stop at a red light, and Paige is looking at Happy with such an open, helpful smile that it gets Happy a little nervous.

“Did you ever feel – ready?” Happy says. “I mean, physically? To have a kid?”

Paige considers it for so long that the light turns green. “Yes,” she finally says. “I think I knew I could do it once I realized I had to do it, if that makes any sense. Besides, having a kid in your late teens is apparently the biological sweet spot.”

Happy forces herself to laugh. “Teen pregnancy,” Happy snickers. “Tsk tsk.”

“But not a teen mom,” Paige clarifies. “Ralph was born a month after I turned twenty.”

Happy grins at her. “Close enough.”

“And I can’t believe you of all people are making fun of me for an accidental pregnancy,” Paige laughs. “But you and Toby are going to be really good at this parenting thing. I can tell.”

But there are so many variables, and so many potential problems. Happy can’t help but wonder if they’ll ever get to the parenting part of it.

The moment hits her like a train and she’s not sure if she keeps the fear off of her face.

Paige gives Happy’s hand a quick squeeze when Happy drops her off, and Happy’s able to hold her worry together when Paige turns to her, but just barely.

“Here,” says Paige, handing her the tiny piece of paper. “And no peeking until Toby gets home.”

Happy does another forced laugh. “Of course not!” Her voice sounds shrill, but apparently not to Paige.

She shoots Happy a grin. “See you later. Hopefully not too soon, though. We’ve had enough jobs over the past few weeks to last us a while.”

Happy drives home with the radio on as loud as she can get it, anxiety coursing through her veins. She keeps one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the top of her belly as she drives, but the constant reminder of the baby is a constant reminder that something could go terribly wrong.

Happy pulls into the parking lot and she’s already shaking. She pulls open the apartment door, ready to lose it, to freak out, when she sees Toby at the table. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to see her freak out like this.

“Surprise!” he exclaims. “I managed to get out of there an hour and a half early.”

Happy is promptly hit with a panic attack.

“Whoa, hey, hello,” says Toby, guiding her to the couch. “What’s going on, Hap?”

He guides her through the breathing sequence thirteen times before Happy is able to speak again, and what comes out of her mouth is scarier to speak than she expected.

“What if I can’t do this?” Happy says. She rests a hand on her stomach, because she can’t stop doing that anymore, it’s a habit she can’t control. She had no idea how hard and fast she’d fall in love and in fear with the idea of this kid, this unexpected addition that just feels like the piece of her that she never knew she needing. Now that she can feel the baby, that the bump is real and the sex of the baby is in her back pocket, the reality of what happened with her own birth is hitting her hard and fast.

“You’ll know what to do,” Toby says, his smile painfully sincere. “You raised yourself. You’re amazing with Ralph. You’re going to be a great mom.” He kisses her forehead.

“No, Toby,” she says seriously, “what if I physically can’t do this?”

He looks at her. “You can,” he says firmly, “and you will.” He says it like he’s practiced the response, and something in his words unnerves her.

She suddenly understands.

“You’ve worried about this,” she says, “haven’t you?”

“It’s not because of you,” he says quickly. “I’ve never trusted anyone in my life half as much as I trust you. I just…” He exhales, his eyes trained on the ceiling. “Happy, you’re my world. And the baby will be, too. But the way I am, the way I grew up, I think of the worst outcome.” He finally looks at her, and Happy’s flat out terrified to see that he’s almost crying.

“Yeah, that’s happened to me now,” Happy says. “I don’t want to think about what might happen.”

“I can’t stop thinking about the worst outcome,” he says, dropping his head into his hands. “And god, Happy, I’m so sorry. I’m trying not to think about it.” His exhale is shaky. “But it’s not you. I’m just scared.”

Happy grabs at his arm until he looks up at her. “You’re the one who told me it’s normal to be scared,” Happy says. “And, clearly, I’m scared shitless too.”

His voice is half shattered when he says, “I watched you nearly freeze to death, nearly drown, nearly choke on fungus,” he says quietly. “But I can’t lose you.” He rests his hand on her leg. “I won’t.”

Happy doesn’t know how to feel. She’s finally got a baby bump. It took forever, but it’s there now. Happy can even feel the baby move every once in a while. She knows Toby doesn’t have that same security, and she's desperate to wash the fear out of his eyes. Happy she grabs his hand and rests it on her belly, right where she can tell the baby's doing some sort of wiggle.

“Toby,” she says, trying to sound more put together than she is. “Okay, starting right now, we don’t even think about that being a possibility, okay? It took me a long time to decide this is what I wanted and I don’t want to think about giving it up after getting here.”

“I can’t stop thinking,” Toby says. He closes his eyes, clearly trying to steady himself, but even without looking at her he seems so terrified it scares Happy.

Happy considers the options. They’ve both lost it today, and they’re probably going to lose it a couple dozen more times before the baby gets here. She feels a flutter in her belly, and she wonders briefly if the baby feels the anxiety.

And the realization immediately calms her down.

There are good things on the way and she has something good to focus on. “The baby’s moving,” Happy says firmly. “I’m not sure if you feel her, but she’s moving.” Toby nods.

“I think I can.”

“And if you can’t stop thinking,” Happy shifts just enough to pull out the little envelope Paige had handed her, “then I’ll give you something good to think about.”

Toby stares at her. “What is that?”

She shrugs. “No idea. But we’re about to find out,”

Toby’s eyes search her face, then widen. “Is that – ” He looks at her.

“Instead of letting ourselves get stuck on whatever horrible thing might happen in the future,” Happy decides, “we’re going to hold onto a good thing that’s happening right now”

Toby is finally smiling. “Are we going to find out what the baby is?”

Happy nods. “You missed a pretty big appointment, Toby.”

“Conference!” he argues. “A non-negotiable conference that I got home early from!” He drops his head in his hands. “God, I should have done the math before accepting the invitation.”

“You spent an hour talking about how great you are at your job at that conference. You needed the ego boost,” Happy says, laughing. She bites her lip. “But I haven’t looked yet.”

His hands are shaking as he takes the envelope. “Should we look now?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Do we want to look?”

Toby looks at her, the fear fading away to excitement. “Are we going to find out if our baby is a boy or a girl?” He starts bouncing in his seat. “Can we? I think we should.”

Happy feels herself relax, because Toby’s anxiety has washed away alongside her own. “Let’s do it.”

Toby grabs the envelope and rips it open, facing the paper away from them.

“Maybe we should wait,” he says, holding it away from her. “Just a little longer.” His grin is obnoxious enough to make Happy dive at him for it.

“Just show me!” Happy says, reaching for the paper. They scramble for it until Toby stands up, holding it out of her reach. “Don’t be an asshole!” she demands.

“Don’t be so short,” he retorts, and she socks him in the arm.

“No fighting!” he laughs, looking down at her. “Okay,” he says. “Ready?”

Happy nods, realizing she’s settled her on hand on her belly, yanking at Toby’s arm with the other hand. “Just do it!”

Toby turns the paper over and they look at it together.

“We’re having a girl!” Toby shrieks. Happy’s pretty sure she’s never seem him look as giddy as he does in this moment.

Happy isn’t sure why she’s so elated, because she would have been just as excited for a boy, but she can’t stop grinning and hugging Toby.

“How are we going to tell the team?” Toby asks, flopping back onto their couch. Happy sits next to him, throwing her legs over his lap. He rests his hand on her belly, and it’s more comforting than Happy would have imagined, to have somebody’s hands on her stomach like that.

“By doing something hilarious,” Happy suggests.

“Deal,” Toby agrees. “Hey, you know they’ve been betting on this,” Toby says. “The first time in my life I’m not happy to hear about a gamble.”

“Why, did you lose?” Happy asks.

“Didn’t bet,” Toby says. “Didn’t care either way. Honestly, though, I’m kind of excited for a little girl.”

Happy nods, but suddenly she feels her smile fade. After the concerns about whether or not to have the baby, whether or not she could even have the baby, the worries of even whether or not she wanted to be a parent, Toby’s gambling never even came up.

And, right when she thought the fear had left her for the day, it settles back against her heart in a whole different animal.

“I need you to promise me something,” Happy says. “Right now.”

“Anything,” Toby says, and it comes too easily, like he’s not taking things seriously enough.

“No,” Happy says, shifting so she’s not touching him. She needs this to come across as important as possible. “You need to listen.”

Toby falls silent, the smile wiped off his face in a moment.

“You need to promise me that your gambling won’t be a problem,” Happy says. “I don’t care how hard it’s going to be. I don’t care that it’s the hardest habit you’ll ever have to break. You can’t do this to our kid. You can’t do that to me.” The look on his face is killing her. But it has to be said. They’re not just screwing around anymore. This is too real and too scary on its own. Happy won’t risk her kid – her daughter – dealing with what Toby went through. Even more so, she’s heard Toby’s nature and nurture talks. Sure, maybe the addictive tendencies were present in him, but even he admits he never would have gambled or taken those risks if he hadn’t seen his dad do it every day.

There’s no way Happy will open her daughter up to that kind of world.

Toby nods slowly. “It’s over,” he says. “Whatever I can do –”

“No,” says Happy. “No qualifiers, no ‘try.’ This is Yoda. Do or do not. There is no try.”

“I probably shouldn’t mention how hot I found that,” Toby says, a tiny quirk of his lips.

She glares at him. “Read the moment, Doc.”

“I won’t,” Toby says, his expression falling serious again. “I won’t gamble anymore.” There’s a resolution in his eyes Happy hasn’t seen before. “It’s over.”

“Good,” Happy replies.

There’s a long pause, something that feels uncomfortable and strange.

Toby nods. “I haven’t since we found out, by the way.”

Happy’s confused. “Haven’t what?”

“Gambled,” Toby says. “Haven’t wanted to. Haven’t felt any need to.” He tries a smile. “Honestly, haven’t had time to.”

“Really?” Happy says. “Because I don’t want any placating lies or whatever you call them. This is serious.”

“I’ve got a daughter on the way,” Toby says, and it’s the first time he’s used that word that way, their daughter. “I’m not risking her. Or you.” He smiles. “I promised you I wasn’t going to do anything to ruin this. I’m holding that promise.”

“And if you feel the need to gamble again?” Happy asks, because she knows he said he stopped, she heard him, but as many times as she’s heard people say “I’ll never do it again” they always do, no matter what it is.

“I’ll lock myself in the bathroom,” Toby says. “Call you. Feed the baby. Throw a wrench at my own skull. Talk to Paige - that would set me straight. Whatever it takes.” And, somehow, she believes him.

Happy considers it for a moment. Nobody’s ever made as much of an effort to give a damn about her in her life. Nobody, not a single person, has ever opened up so much to her that she feels like she can open up back to them.

She’s never trusted anybody before.

She trusts him.

“Okay,” Happy says after a weighty silence. “But if you ever feel like –”

“I’ll call Paige,” Toby says. “She’ll scream at me for so long the headache will turn off any other impulses.” He considers it. “Maybe even Ralph. He’d just logic me to death.”

Happy shrugs. “That’s probably a good idea.”

“I know this was serious, and I know why you’re far away,” says Toby, looking like a little kid with his cowed expression, “but can I – can you come back?”

Happy shifts so she’s leaning up against his side, and his relieved sigh makes her wonder if he ever expected her to touch him again.

“I still love you, you know,” she says, unsure of how to explain it. Her eyes are facing the wall, not his face, and it makes the words easier. “Even with the gambling and the narcissism. Even with how much of a jackass you are half the time.”

“I love you even though you can be sort of an asshole sometimes,” Toby says. She feels him press a kiss to the top of her head. They sit quietly for a few moments, the air settling from the heavy conversation.

“Are we terrible people?” Happy asks, snuggling against him.

“I don’t think so,” he replies. But there’s something in his voice, something she can’t decode.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, Toby’s hand gently settled over her stomach.

“I’m sorry you have to worry about this,” Toby says quietly.

Happy shifts so she can look at him. “Meaning?”

“You deserve –”

“Don’t you start that shit again,” Happy says. “I’m already having your kid. You don’t get to tell me what or who I deserve. I chose you. End of story.”

The tiny smile on his lips is enough to assure her that he believes her, that they’re in this together.

“How did we end up here?” Happy asks. “Not in a bad way. I just mean…” She trails off.

“Yeah, I get you,” Toby replies. “Glad we got here, though.”

“Me too,” Happy says back. She dozes off against his chest as Toby gently settles her hands on her belly, and she’s pretty sure she hears him whisper, “my girls,” as she falls asleep.


	9. Pregnancy, Week 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy and Toby thought the fact that they were having a girl would be the biggest news in the garage that day. Wrong.

“This is it,” Happy whines. “I fit into nothing. I need to get maternity clothing.”

“You’re beautiful,” Toby insists. “That doesn’t change.”

“Oh, my god, I don’t care about that,” Happy replies. “I just don’t even fit into my normal pants anymore.” She shows him what she means by the way that the button doesn’t even come close to hooking. "See? Even my biggest jeans don't fit."

Toby sits next to her. “I found an idea online,” he says. “You use a hair tie and loop it around the button on your jeans. Gives an extra inch or so.”

“I’ve been doing that for three weeks,” Happy grumbles. “Did you forget I was an engineer? But even that doesn’t work anymore.”

“So you go out and get maternity pants. So what?”

“So,” Happy says, pulling on leggings for the millionth time. “I’m not sure how I feel about dropping money on clothes when we have a bunch of baby stuff to buy.”

Toby stares at her. “Did you forget that we make an absurd amount of money per case?”

“Well, neither of us actually started saving moneyuntil three months ago,” Happy replies, accepting that damn baby bump and letting her tank top stretch over her stomach. “So we don’t actually have that much. We need to worry about buying diapers, not buying clothes.”

“Well, cheer up!” says Toby, flipping over. “We’re telling the group about our daughter today!” He sighs, looking like a kid on Christmas. “We’re having a daughter.”

“I’m not un-cheery,” Happy says. “I’m just annoyed.”

Toby grins at her. “I’ve got some ways to really cheer you up.”

“I mean,” Happy decides, “I’ve already got my pants off.”

Toby dives toward her, and for some reason Happy’s always ready to go lately. According to Toby it’s the hormones, but in Happy’s opinion it’s more that Toby’s started to ditch the hat more often and she wants to take advantage of that. Positively reinforce the behavior, as Toby would say.

She’s waking up earlier and earlier now, and falling asleep anywhere between seven and eleven pm, which makes Toby being a morning person that much more convenient. They end up with more time together and she doesn’t keep him up at night. It works pretty well.

This morning they take their time, slow and languid as they move together, and it’s only when they’ve made their way to the shower and back again, both sated and smiling, that they notice that they both have multiple messages on their phones.

“Should have known we’d only have a few hours of peace,” Happy sighs, dropping her phone to the side. “Why can’t they just wait until nine when we have to be in anyway?”

“Because they hate us and want us to be miserable,” Toby replies. He leans over to press an obnoxiously wet kiss to her cheek.

“Weirdo.”

He grins at her. “Let’s go. Before Walter shows up with indignant rage and petulant whining.”

Happy laughs. “First let me put on my pants that don’t fit.”

“Why don’t you try a dress?” Toby suggests.

Happy shoots him a look.

“Never mind,” Toby says, hands in the air, “it was just a suggestion.”

Happy pulls the tank top from earlier back on over a pair of leggings, and mourns the fact that her favorite jacket doesn’t even half wrap around her belly.

“Aw,” Toby says. “Look, she’s growing.”

“Glad you can be positive about this,” Happy mumbles. “I’m just suddenly out of clothing.”

“You could walk around naked,” Toby says, looking way too eager.

“Hah,” Happy replies, “you wish.”

"But you should go get some clothes that fit," Toby says, grabbing her bag and handing it to her. "You deserve it."

She smiles at him. "Is this you doing one of your 'treat yourself' things?"

"You never buy yourself anything," Toby says, half pouting, "unless it's for work." He brushes a curl behind her ear.

"Are you being romantic or trying to tell me I look stupid in leggings?" Happy asks.

"Always assume romantic," Toby clarifies. "But we've had to do laundry, like, twice a week lately, and I'm getting worried about the water bill."

Happy scoffs, grinning.

They get in the car, and Toby tries to turn the volume up on One Direction while Happy threatens to break the radio.

“It’s a classic!” Toby shouts over the boy band.

“They lyrics are stupid, and it’s bubblegum pop,” Happy replies, eyes on the road. "Plus, nothing can be a classic if it came out this decade."

"Wrong," he argues, "Uptown Funk is definitely a classic."

Happy pokes at his side.

Toby starts screeching about how she lights up his world like nobody else, and she starts laughing because the only other option would be to punch him in the face.

No day, Happy muses, in her life has ever been normal. She has watched people die, she’s held guns to enemies’ heads, she’s nearly drowned, she’s nearly frozen at the South Pole. She’s fallen in love and gotten pregnant and been happy about it, she’s performed a stand up comedy routine and set the fire alarm off in an entire apartment building just by making hot chocolate.

But the scene in front of her may just top every single one of those moments.

Paige and Walter are actually making out on the couch.

“Not to be weird,” Toby says, “but is this actually happening or am I hallucinating?”

Paige jumps off of Walter, looking flustered as she lands unsteadily on her feet. “How long have you been there?!”

“About thirty seconds,” Happy replies. “Wow, and I thought we had news.”

Walter sits up, looking a little dumbfounded. “I apologize for the unprofessional behavior,” he says, but he’s blushing a little pink and looks more content than Happy’s ever seen him.

“To be honest, I’m surprised it took you this long to get caught,” Happy says. “I’ve been convinced something was going on since that phone call when you were all flustered.”

“Me?” Walter asks. “I’m never flustered.”

Happy shakes her head and points to Paige. “Her.”

Paige stares at her. “What?”

“When I called you about that appointment?” Happy says. “Tuesday? You were flustered.”

It’s Paige’s turn to blush this time, but she looks less content and more embarrassed. “Yeah, your call interrupted…” She trails off.

“Ignoring that implication,” Toby says, shaking as if to wash it off, and he turns to Happy, “you didn’t tell me? How could you find something like this out and not tell me?”

“I didn’t find out,” Happy replies. “I just knew something was going on - I wasn’t sure,” Happy looks over at Paige and Walter. “But now. Now I’m sure.”

“Clearly,” Toby says, stilling looking dumbfounded. “So who initiated this? Because I’m going to guess Paige.”

Paige blushes bright red.

“Aha!” Toby says. “I am right.”

“Paige and I had a frank conversation regarding our ability to function simultaneously as colleagues and partners, and she used the two of you as an example of how it can strengthen a professional relationship,” Walter says.

“Oh,” Toby says, deadpan, “and then she made out with you to convince you.”

It’s clear Toby meant it as a joke, but Walter says, “In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“Erasing that from my mind,” Happy says, “what’s going on? Do we have a case or something?”

Walter nods. “Right. Indeed. There is a concern with nuclear weapons arming themselves automatically at random intervals off the coast of California,” he explains. “As long as we keep you from being directly near any radiation, you should be able to join us. We could use your expertise.”

“Yes!” Happy says, punching the air. “Finally something I can be part of.”

“But if there’s any indication from the Geiger counter that there’s a radiation leak –”

“I’ll be out of there like a bat out of hell,” Happy promises. “Now let’s go. I’m driving.”

“Cabe and Sylvester aren’t here yet,” Toby says, catching her arm, “eager beaver.”

“Cabe is already there. And Sylvester should be here momentarily,” Walter replies. He checks his watch. “If I had to guess, I would say within the next five minutes.”

Sylvester shows up in four minutes and thirty two seconds. Toby groans.

“Oh, god, I hate that you’re so smart,” he says, pointing to Walter.

“Well, they don’t call me a genius for nothing,” Walter says with a tiny smile.

“Oh,” Toby says, grinning, “and you’re funny, too.” He turns to Paige. “Keep doing what you’re doing. I like this Walter.”

“Can I know what’s happening?” Sylvester says, walking in. “You people are being strange again.”

“They’re banging, we have a case,” Happy says, pointing to Paige and Walter. “We’ll fill you in on the way, good deal?”

“They’re what?!” Sylvester says, looking between the four of them.

Toby leans to Happy. “That news could have been delivered more gently.”

“No,” Happy says. “Not if we want to get to work on time.”

She practically shoves them all into the car. “Buckle up, kids,” she says, excitement welling in her chest. She hasn’t been able to get behind the wheel of the van for a long drive for a long time. “It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

“I don’t like the sound of this,” Sylvester says warily.

“Yeah?” Happy says, looking back at him. “You shouldn’t.”

They get to the docks in record time.

“Oh, god, I’d forgotten about your driving,” Paige says, looking queasy. “I’m going to need a moment to remember how to walk.”

Happy’s just grinning, and she can’t resist the urge to pet the van. “I haven’t done that in a while.”

The second she steps out of the car, though, she’s hit with a wave of heat.

“Oh, god,” she grumbles. “Why’s it so hot? It’s only May.”

“Not that hot, Hap,” Toby says. “That’s just you.” The garish wink is enough to make her roll her eyes.

“Seriously, it’s really warm out here,” she insists, pulling off her jacket and tying the arms around her bag. “How is nobody else boiling?”

“Because nobody else is pregnant,” Walter says.

Happy ignores him as they walk up to a group of suits, one more familiar than the rest. “Alright, Cabe, what have we got?”

Cabe, who’d gotten to the site before the rest of the team, turns to them. “We’ve got a problem.”

“Gathered that,” Toby says. “Care to elaborate, Grandpa?”

“You don’t get to call me that,” Cabe insists. “Anyway. The nukes have started reprogramming themselves out of nowhere, and there’s a concern that the system has been infiltrated. We’re not sure if it’s hardware or software related.”

From the second they walk into the control room, Happy’s so giddy she’s about to clap.

“I love machines,” she says, unable to keep herself from running her hand along the nearly ancient technology. “I can’t believe this was state of the art only a couple of decades ago.”

“Careful, Happy, or you’ll get pregnant with a computer,” Toby mutters.

She jabs him in the ribs with his elbow, but all he does is laugh. “Seriously, you’re looking at that computer screen like you look at me.”

“That’s because these things are fascinating,” she looks Toby up and down, “and you’re just obnoxiously charming in that geek way of yours.”

Sylvester and Walter begin running scans of the system to check for changes or alterations that were not authorized, and Happy starts looking at the computer for a possible malfunction.

It doesn’t take long before she finds the problem, and she tries not to preen too much when she tries to squeeze in behind the giant machine.

“Oh, come on,” she says, trying to squeeze behind a computer. Her belly just gets in the way. “Come on, kiddo, let me get through.” She manages to get herself into the area that’s messed up. “Found it! Walt, over here.”

She explains that a piece of the computer had shorted out, sending mixed messages to the nuclear weapons.

“No mal intent here,” Happy shoots back. “Just good old hardware glitches. It’ll be fixed in ten minutes, tops.”

Toby sighs. “Want me to time you?”

Happy grins up at him. “Go.”

It takes her eight minutes and forty-seven seconds.

“New record,” she says with a grin. “And this is without original parts from this machine. I’m good.”

Paige and Cabe check the nuclear weapons. “We’re in the clear,” Cabe confirms. “Nothing’s resetting or programming itself. Nice job, Happy.”

That’s when she realizes she can’t stand up, her belly bumping into the underside of the table every time she tries to move.

“Uh, Doc,” she says, trying to fight of the panic. “I’m stuck.”

“You’re what?” he asks. “Sorry, was talking to Walter.”

“I,” Happy says through gritted teeth, “am stuck. I am stuck under the desk.”

Toby makes a noise like he’s choking. “You’re stuck?” he says. “What kind of stuck?”

“I think she moved while I was under here,” Happy says. “I’m not sure.”

Toby manages to call Sylvester and Walter over to move the mass of old computers, and Toby pulls Happy up by the hand.

“If you laugh, I’ll kill you,” Happy says with a smile.

And then –

“Holy shit,” Happy says, looking down, setting her hand on her belly. “She kicked.”

“She what?” Toby asks.

“I think that was a kick!” Happy says. “Oh, she’s pissed I got us stuck. Sorry, baby.”

“She kicked!” Toby says, looking elated. “Oh, she’s proud of her mom.” He rests his hand on her stomach, pushing up her shirt. “Kick for me, baby girl!”

“Doc,” Happy says, “I know you’re excited, but don’t lift my shirt up at work.”

Toby’s eyes widen. “Right,” he says, looking sheepish. “Right, sorry.” He settles the shirt back where it was. Walter and Sylvester maintain their merciful silence as they deliberately finish packing up the rest of the gear on the other side of the room, while Paige and Cabe finish explaining Happy’s fix to the people in charge of the building.

“But,” Toby says, looking giddy again. “Our girl kicked!”

“Yes, she did, now let’s get out of here,” Happy says. “I’ve been in this room for way too long.”

“We’ve been in here for half an hour,” Toby says, looking confused.

“Yeah,” Happy says, “without air conditioning. This was terrible.”

“Well,” Toby says, opening the door for her, “you fixed the AC in the van to be perfect.”

“Thank,” Happy says, stepping outside, “god.”

They all pile into the van.

“Oh, good lord,” Happy says, sliding into the driver’s seat. “You sure you don’t have soccer genes in your family? She’s kicking up a storm.”

Toby laughs. “She could be a dancer.”

“Okay, that’s happened about thirty times,” Sylvester says. “It can’t be a slip up. Did you say ‘she’ on purpose?”

“She?” Cabe asks. “You’re having a girl?”

“Oh, we forgot to mention that,” Toby says as he buckles into the front seat. “Yeah, it’s a girl.”

Cabe looks so excited he could fly. “I knew it!” he announces. “Oh, Walter, you owe me.”

“No, I don’t!” Walter replies. “That was not a bet. It was a joke.”

“It was a bet,” Cabe insists. He turns back to Happy. “Please tell me I get to help paint the nursery. Are you going with pink?”

“We are not,” Toby says firmly, “going with pink. No way. Gender neutral all the way.”

“Says you,” Cabe says. “I’m getting that girl whatever the hell she wants.”

Happy raises her eyebrows. “When did you put the grandpa hat on?”

She watches as Toby and Cabe exchange a glance.

“I figured he couldn’t be Uncle Cabe,” Toby explains. “He’s too damn old. So, Pops.”

“Pops,” Cabe says, looking proud. “I’m not grandpa. I’m a Pops.”

Happy sighs, a little unsure of what’s happening but willing to roll with it as long as they get back to the garage soon. “Okay, Pops,” she tests. “Oh, this girl’s going to have the weirdest family in history.”

“Hey,” Paige interjects, “she’s going to have the best family in history. Plus, between Auntie Paige and Pops, she’ll even get appropriate social skills.”

Toby and Happy, simultaneously, exclaim, “Hey!”

“Aw,” says Sylvester, “they’re even getting more alike. Does that happen in parenthood?”

With her eyes still on the road, Happy grabs Toby’s hat and throws it at Sylvester, nailing him directly in the face.

“I can’t believe I have to tell a group of genius adults not to roughhouse in the car,” Paige says, collapsing against her seat. “But guys. Come on.”

“I’m fine,” Happy says. “And we’re about to hit the highway. So, unless you want to be thrown out of your seats, I’d buckle up.”

“Already done,” Sylvester says. “Also, that hat hit me in the face.”

“Intentional,” Happy replies.

When they get back to the garage, Happy darts into the bathroom, because the damn baby is doing the Macarena again and, Toby’s right, she is a microbladder.

When she walks back out to the open garage, there’s a rather loud conversation going down.

“What the hell happened?” she asks, bewildered. “I wasn’t gone for that long, was i?”

“Cabe, Toby, and Walter got into an argument about the best way to raise a girl,” Paige replies. “My input was shot down immediately, because it’s not like I have any experience in this area or anything, so now I’m just watching until they realize how stupid they are.”

Happy considers it. “That sounds good.”

To Happy’s delight, Toby’s the one insisting on giving their daughter whatever toys she asks for regardless of societal norms. Walter is insisting on purely academic toys, where Cabe is offering to buy her every American Girl doll on the market before she’s five.

“They didn’t even think to ask one of us, did they,” Happy says. “Why are men so stupid?”

Paige shrugs. “I’m not sure it’s men,” she muses. “I think it’s just them.”

“But what if she doesn’t want a damn doll!” Toby exclaims, waving his arms around, apparently to drive his point home, but it just makes him look like a fool.

“Then she doesn’t have to keep it,” Cabe decides. “But I’m buying it.”

“Want to get dinner while they argue?” Paige asks. “I’m thinking we could order pizza.”

“Pizza sounds good,” Happy agrees. The baby kicks. “She thinks so too.”

Paige stops in her tracks, hesitating.

“You okay?”

“I’m just trying to figure out if you’ll kill me if I ask to feel her kick,” Paige says, smiling. “You’re not a touchy person.”

Happy considers it. “I mean,” she decides, “if you want to.”

Paige puts a tiny bit of pressure when she rests her hand on Happy’s tummy, and the baby packs a whallop on her hand. “Damn,” Paige says, moving her hand. “She’s strong.”

Happy shrugs. “Takes after her mom.”

Paige grins at her. “You’ve got that right.”


	10. Pregnancy, Week 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby shopping in a multi-step, multi-person adventure. Or so it appears to Happy.

They’re grocery shopping when Happy finds, in the discount card area, the most hilarious thing she’s ever seen.

“Toby,” she says. “Here. This is for you.”

The front of the card says, “Who is a dad?”

“Is this a joke?” Toby asks. “Because I already know you’re pregnant.” He looks down at her belly. “It’d be hard to miss.”

Happy gently kicks him in the shins, and the baby kicks her not so gently in the stomach. “Ow.”

“Serves you right,” Toby says, nodding at her. “Baby girl’s got my back.”

“We need to come up with a better nickname that that,” Happy mutters.

“We will, eventually,” he flips open the card and bursts into laughter. “I is a dad!” he reads. “Look! The card knows me!”

“You is a dad,” Happy says, and they sound so absolutely ridiculous that Happy’s cracking up too. The baby starts kicking up a storm. “And there she goes,” Happy says, wincing.

Toby rests his hand on her belly. “Good lord, she’s strong,” Toby says, sounding astonished. “Calm down, kid, you’re going to knock your mom over.” He gets this look on his face, the same one he does when he’s about to have a really ridiculous idea. “Hey, speaking of names –”

“We weren’t talking about names – ”

“ – what about Louisa?”

“No,” Happy says firmly. “Tenth grade teacher who called himself ‘Louis’ and made my life a living hell.” She thinks for a minute. “What about Tina?”

“Oh, my god,” Toby says, “it’s a great show, but we’re not naming our kid after a Bob’s Burger’s character!”

“She’s a good character!”

And thus begins a ping pong battle worse than their first conversation about names, leading into Happy walking into the garage shouting, “Paige!”

Paige sits up. “What? What’s wrong?” She looks lost. “Why are you calling me when Toby is right there?”

“I need you,” Happy says, “to tell him that we are not naming our child after a song.”

“Layla’s one of Eric Clapton’s greatest creations!” Toby argues, running in behind her. “That song is amazing!”

“It’s not the song you name your kid after,” Happy says. “And neither is Arabella. Or Delilah. And the next time you suggest Hurricane, I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Wow, Toby, you have an eclectic music taste,” Paige says.

Happy groans. “Not the point.”

“She’s right,” Paige says, changing her tune. “They’ll sing those songs to her every day of her life.”

“You can’t be sure of that,” Toby says. “Those songs won’t be as popular when she’s older.”

“Toby,” Happy begins, “ten teachers started my first day in their class by singing ‘if you’re Happy and you know it clap your hands.’ We’re not naming our kid after a song.”

Toby winces. “Oh,” he says. “I never thought about that.”

“Yeah, well, I have,” Happy says. “Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about how horrible it was.”

Toby pouts. “But I want a name with meaning,” he whines. “We can’t just name her anything.”

“Didn’t you guys already do the name argument?” Paige asks. “I thought you liked Laura.”

“That’s the problem,” Happy says, sitting down on the couch. “We just like it. We haven’t settled on anything we really love yet.”

Paige sighs. “Well, I decided on Ralph because that was my grandfather’s name,” Paige says. “So it was easy for me. Why don’t you just make Grace her first name?”

Toby and Happy look at each other. “We thought about it,” says Toby.

“But I’m a little – I don’t want to have her go by Grace and then feel weird about knowing her namesake died in a way so,” Happy searches for her words, “heartbreaking.”

The truth is, Happy can’t imagine naming her daughter after her mother when she still feels like she’s the reason her mother is dead. A middle name is the honor Happy can manage, but with her anxiety over carrying and having this baby, calling her daughter Grace would serve as a reminder every day of what she lost.

As much as she wants to, she can’t.

Paige offers her a smile. “You’ll find the name when it’s right,” she assures them. “You still have four months, right?”

Happy nods, resting her hand on her belly. “Doesn’t seem that long when you put it that way.” Happy gets terrified from time to time, terrified that what happened to her mother will happen to her, terrified that she’ll leave her daughter without a mother.

And sometimes, when her minds fades into its darkest and most basal fears, she fears that she won’t be able to handle it, and she’ll be the one leaving Toby and the baby on a doorstep. She knows she won’t – she’s fought too hard to get here to give it up now – but sometimes, just sometimes, there’s something in the back of her mind that reminds her that she is half her father, half her mother. And her mother died and her father gave up.

It’s everything in her power to remind herself that she and Toby have Scorpion if anything ever happens. And she won’t leave this earth without a fight.

The air is heavy with the topic, Happy’s mind swimming with the anxiety over childbirth for the millionth time.

After a few minutes of silent air blocking everyone from finishing any work, Paige announces, “We’re going shopping.”

“We’re what?” Happy asks. “I hate shopping.”

“Don’t care,” Paige says. “Ralph’s at school, we have nothing to do, and you need some pants that fit you so you can stop walking around in leggings.” She frowns. “I can see your underwear.”

Happy groans. “I told you they were see through!” she says to Toby.

“Only in certain lighting,” he argues. “And I told you they were see through. You just were so mad I said it really quietly, and then you started convincing yourself they were fine.”

“And you didn’t correct me?” Happy asks. “Some boyfriend you are.”

He smiles, sheepish and apologetic. “I figured if it was a problem, you’d be better equipped to deal with it.”

“Paige, let’s leave before I kill him,” Happy says. She leans over and kisses Toby quickly. “Goodbye. You’re an ass.”

“I love you, too,” Toby says.

“Yeah, and that.”

Paige lets Happy drive her car despite her previous determinations that Happy would never be allowed to get behind the wheel of that car again.

“Where exactly are we going?” Happy asks. “I’ve got no idea where maternity stores are.”

“First off, you can find maternity stuff in many stores,” Paige explains. “Target’s decent.”

“Do they have leather jackets?” Happy deadpans.

“Doubt it,” Paige replies. “But we can check.”

The answer to that question, of course, is no.

But Happy finds three pairs of jeans at Target, jeans with a stupid little stretchy waist band, and takes half a second to look in the mirror while wearing them.

“Paige, I look pregnant,” she says.

“Because you are,” Paige says from the other changing room. Happy walks out, wearing the jeans and a maternity top that Paige said had “ruching” that apparently makes a baby bump look cute. Paige is wearing a purple dress.

“What, I’m supposed to do nothing while you try stuff on?” She twirls a little bit, the skirt flaring out.

“I didn’t say anything,” Happy replies. “But, thoughts?”

“You look adorable,” Paige says. “And wear more colors. Earth tones and purple look good, but I like the teal.”

“This is teal?” Happy asks. “I thought it was just blue.”

“Blue, teal, whatever,” Paige says. “Get two of them in different colors. That way, with your jeans, you always have two outfits you know will fit.”

“I hate shopping,” Happy replies, but she ends up with the two shirts, two pairs of jeans, and four more tank tops in slightly larger sizes because, fuck it, she likes tank tops and she’ll probably need them once the baby’s born.

“Give me a second,” Happy says to Paige. “I’m putting on these jeans now. If I have to walk around in see through leggings for much longer, I’m going to scream.”

It’s only when she walks into the same stall that she realizes – this is where she found out she was pregnant.

As she pulls on her maternity jeans, the band wrapping around her belly, she has trouble reconciling where she is now with where she was only fourteen weeks ago, where everything was panic and a general air of “oh fuck.”

Apparently the baby – their little girl – can sense the change in Happy’s attitude, because she kicks and moves a little bit.

“What, don’t like the pants?” Happy asks. “You better not be this picky about your own clothes. Aunt Paige is going to take every opportunity to buy you things, and if you decide you don’t like one toy, she’ll buy you eight more. We can’t give her the opportunity.”

She runs her hand on her belly, trying to remember what things were like before she had a kid on the way. It doesn’t come easily to her.

“You’re probably the most interesting story this Target bathroom has ever seen, kid,” Happy says. She pulls her jacket on over her shoulders, not eve half able to zip it, and walks out.

“I am officially,” Happy says, “in maternity pants.” She leans against the car. “God, I’m so pregnant.”

“Look at your little bump!” Paige exclaims, looking absurdly gleeful. “Oh, you look great.”

“I –” Happy’s interrupted by her phone ringing. “Give me a sec.” She answers. “Hey, Doc.”

“You look good in those jeans,” he says, his voice affected with some weird warble.

“Excuse me?”

“Do you like scary movies?” he asks with the same warble. “Cindy?”

“Okay, that’s from Scary Movie, not from Scream,” Happy says, looking around. “And I see you. You’re not that invisible in that ridiculous hat.” She sighs. Apparently the damn thing made a resurgence.

He hangs up the phone and walks over to them.

“What is wrong with him?” Paige asks, looking exasperated.

“You’re asking me? I’m clearly no better.” She nods at Toby. “I’m having his baby.”

Toby grins like that’s the best news he’s heard in his life and kisses her on the cheek. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Happy asks.

“Walter and Sylvester got annoyed at me, so they told me to leave,” Toby replies. “So I figured I’d come annoy you guys.”

“Sounds about right,” says Paige. “Actually, you know what? I’ve got to head over to the school to pick up Ralph. I want to talk to his teacher.”

Happy nods. “You have fun with that.”

“You’re going to be doing this, too, before you know it” Paige says with a knowing grin. “Just you wait. With a kid that’s half you and half him, there’s going to be a whole lot of trouble.”

“Goody,” Happy says warily. A flood of memories rushes across her vision. Parent teacher conference sign up where she had no name to write down, teachers in high school asking if she wanted to come to her own conference instead.

Every memory of her childhood is tinged with the grey emptiness of being left alone. She rests a hand on the side of her shirt, playing with the ruched fabric absentmindedly. What she went through – she’ll never let it touch her daughter.

“It’s going to be great,” Paige continues, reassuring grin making Happy feel a little better. “You’re going to love it. You’ll be scared shitless, but you’re going to be great.” She nods at the two of them. “Not too much fun, you two.”

“Can’t get into much more trouble,” Toby replies. “She’s already pregnant.”

“Stop quoting Juno!” Paige calls from her front seat as she drives away. “You are not Paulie Bleeker.”

“I could be,” Toby says, turning to Happy. “I could be Paulie Bleeker.” His eyes light up. “Oh, if you go way past your due date, for Halloween, can we –”

“Fuck no,” Happy says firmly. “Also, don’t even put that into possibility. I flat out refuse to go three weeks past.”

“Good point,” Toby replies. “They’ll have induced you by then.”

Happy groans. “You bring my truck?”

He nods. “Found your back up keys in your desk. You need to get better at hiding stuff.”

“I hid toxic chemicals in a piano for four years,” Happy says with an eye roll, crossing her arms across her chest. “I’m pretty good at hiding things.”

“I know you’re talking,” Toby says, “but that shirt is really low cut and you folded your arms and, uh,” he swallows, “and I’m distracted. What were you saying?”

“Perv,” Happy jokes, poking him in the shoulder. “So what’s your goal, here? Are we doing something?” She adjusts her jeans. “Going somewhere?”

“I was thinking baby furniture,” he says like it was planned, and, oh, he’s been scheming this since Paige suggested shopping. “Like, we’re getting a crib today.”

“Do we have to?” Happy complains. “I hate shopping and I’ve already spent too many hours shopping.”

“Yep,” Toby says, grabbing her hand and swinging it like a kid, “we’re already out, you found comfortable jeans, we’re going crib shopping.”

Happy lets Toby pull her toward the car. “This is going to be terrible.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Toby corrects. “And we get to look at cribs.”

It takes Happy about twenty minutes in a furniture store to get overwhelmed.

“Can we get her a race car bed?” Toby asks, still way more excited than he should be. “Only if she wants one, but still. Look how cool this is.” He sits on the bed and grins up at her. “Maybe we should get a racecar bed.”

Happy tries to laugh, but it comes out as sort of a bark, and it startles her.

“Are you okay?” Toby asks, concern written on his face.

She resorts into her usual pattern and deflects. “No, I’m fine,” she insists, wrapping her arms around herself. It’s harder, now. There’s more to wrap her arms around. Breathing is a little more difficult than usual, and she’s not sure why.

“You’re freaking out.”

“No, I’m not,” Happy lies.

“Come, sit with me on the race car,” Toby says, patting the side of the children’s bed.

“Worried I won’t be able to stand back up,” Happy says quietly.

“Then I’ll help you out,” Toby says. “Come on, off your feet.” Happy sits, and Toby gives her Shrink Face. “Talk to me.”

Happy shrugs. “Just doing the normal freak out,” Happy says. “Not sure what’s going on. I’m fine.”

“Do you want to table baby shopping for another day?” Toby tests.

She considers it. “We’ll have to do it eventually,” Happy says slowly.

“But we don’t have to do it today,” Toby says. “Pardon the shrinkage, but I’m going with thirty seconds from a panic attack. Talk or drop?”

Happy sighs. “Why am I so stressed out about this?” she asks. “We’re looking at cribs and changing tables, not disarming a nuclear weapon –”

“ – which we have done before –”

“So why am I freaking out?” She looks at him. “I’m being stupid.”

“You’re not being stupid,” Toby insists. “Hey, when was the last time you ate?”

“What did you just ask me?” Happy asks incredulously.

“No, I swear,” Toby says, “anxiety can spike when you don’t eat enough, and I can only assume that’s worse when you get pregnant. When did you eat last?”

“Breakfast,” Happy realizes. “What time is it?”

“Two thirty,” Toby says, standing up. “We’re getting you something to eat, stat. Your blood sugar’s crashed.”

“Then you’re going to have to help me up,” Happy mutters, a little embarrassed, “because I’m kind of stuck.”

“God, I love you,” Toby says, looking at her with the most ridiculously besotted expression. He holds out a hand. “Like I said. Always here to help you stand.”

“That’s the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said,” Happy grumbles, but she takes his hand. He pulls her up and they go into the restaurant that’s inside the furniture store – shit like this is why Happy never leaves the garage – and halfway through her lunch, she feels better.

“I hate it when you’re right,” she says, feeling her muscles relax.

“I think it might be the heat, too,” Toby adds. “It’s topping eighty for the first time today.”

“This pregnancy thing is terrible,” Happy says, taking a sip of her water. “Why do people do this?”

“Because biologically the species needs to procreate to ensure survival,” Toby says, “and, also, because raising children is one of the most rewarding parts of life.”

“That first part sounded like Walter,” Happy says, a little horrified. “Never do that again.”

“Duly noted,” Toby says with a nod.

It doesn’t take long before they’re heading back to the furniture area and Happy’s inspecting the designs of all of the cribs, the anxiety replaced with an extreme disapproval for crib designers.

“I’m probably going to need to reinforce whichever crib we get,” Happy says after inspecting the third one. “None of the ones here have the appropriate supports for adults, in my opinion.”

“Why the hell do we need a crib that can support an adult?” Toby asks, looking distressed. “She’s not living in a crib for her whole life.”

Happy looks up at him from where she’s half underneath the crib. “You’re going to be that dad who crawls into the crib when she’s crying,” Happy explains. “And I don’t want it collapsing when your dumb ass breaks one of its legs.”

“I will not be doing that!” Toby exclaims. “She’ll been sleeping in her own crib by three months, all through the night. It’s going to work.”

“Yeah,” Happy scoffs, pushing herself up using the crib. “With you sleeping right beside her.”

Toby looks affronted, but Happy just grins at him. “We’ll see when she gets here.”

Happy’s about to go launch an inspection on a fourth crib, dark colored wood and a pretty set up for a mobile that can be changed out with different hanging items, when a couple walks by. The woman looks like the baby’s about to pop out in the next twenty minutes, and the guy looks frazzled.

“Hi,” says a clearly well-meaning clerk. “What can I do for you today?”

“Our crib collapsed!” the woman says, looking frantic. “My due date is in a week and our crib isn’t holding up.”

“Let’s not get the one they got,” Toby mutters in her ear.

The clerk tries to ask the couple questions about the problem, but it’s clear she’s not the most knowledgeable about crib design.

“Um, excuse me,” Happy says, popping in. “What part of the crib collapsed?”

Within five minutes and a minor argument between the woman and her husband regarding whether the left or right leg was the one that fell off, Happy’s figured out the problem.

“If I had to guess, I’d say you had a stripped screw that just fell out,” Happy says. “If that one screw went in easier than the rest, that’s a problem. Did you check the screws before you put the crib together?”

The husband blushes. “Uh. No. We had it partially assembled in our house by the people who delivered it, and then I put the final touches on.”

“That’ll do it,” Happy says. “Check the crib again. Get a new set of screws, put it back together, and then have your husband,” Happy nods to him, “climb in. If it’s stable with an adult in it, it’s definitely stable enough for a kid.”

“So it’s not the crib?” the woman asks, running her hand along her belly.

“Nope,” Happy replies. “It’s probably just the hardware.”

To Happy’s absolute astonishment, the woman throws her arms around her shoulders. “Oh, thank you,” she sighs. “You just took off about a ton of stress.” She leans back, still hugging Happy. “My due date is in a week and if we had to do another crib, I don’t know what I’d do.”

Happy turns to stare at Toby, who looks baffled, and she just pats the woman on the back. The weirdest thing is that their bellies are bumping. Happy’s not too sure how she feels about this.

“Okay,” Happy says, pulling away in a manner she hopes is appropriate. “Thanks. Have – have a nice day.”

The woman and man smile and wave as they return to the clerk to order new screws, and Happy drags Toby by the arm over into what appears to be the “we have an extra room so we’re just filling it with a bunch of mirrors” area of the store.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Toby says, looking astonished. “You voluntarily talked to a stranger in distressed, helped, and then didn’t kill her when she hugged you.”

“I’m mostly shocked that they took advice from a complete stranger,” Happy says. “Are they gone? I didn’t finish checking out that last crib. I liked it.”

“You did?” Toby says, looking pleased. “Because it’s gorgeous, Hap. And it converts into a toddler bed and then a twin size for when she grows up.”

“How did you know that?”

“I had to do something while you were socializing with that lady,” Toby explains. “There was a detailed manual that was lovely light reading. Plus, it has a high safety rating, whatever that means.”

“I’d hope all cribs do,” Happy replies, concerned.

Toby peeks around the corner. “They’re gone,” he says. “We can go back.”

It turns out the crib has a matching changing table that doubles as a dresser, and Happy has Toby climb into the floor sample and it maintains its structural integrity enough that Happy thinks she might have to give it her blessing.

“I like it,” Toby says. “It’s comfy.”

“You can get out now,” Happy says, laughing.

“No,” Toby says, “I’m good here.”

“Oh, then I’ll just leave you here,” she says, grinning. “You gave me the keys.” She jingles them with a grin.

“I have the wallet though,” Toby says, getting out.

“We both have the wallet,” Happy corrects.

Toby points at her as he stumbles, catching his foot on a bar. “You have a point.”

They pay quickly and it’s not even another hour before they’re loading the boxes into the back of Happy’s truck.

“We just bought our baby's furniture,” Toby says, sliding into the passenger seat. “Her first bed.”

“From how much you loved it, it might end up being your bed,” Happy quips.

On the drive home, Happy has a realization: no way in hell a car seat is going to fly in this truck.

“Toby,” she says warily, “where are we going to put a car seat?”

“Back middle seat,” he answers. “Facing the rear of the car and –”

“My truck doesn’t have any back seats,” she interrupts, the understanding flooding over her. “Aw, man. I have to get rid of my truck, don’t I.”

Toby sighs. “I think we need a new vehicle,” he says carefully. “And I think, if we pool together, we can get something safe for her without getting rid of your truck.”

“My truck’s not worth that much,” Happy laughs, then cuts off abruptly. “Oh, damn.”

“What?”

“My new motorcycle’s worth a hell of a lot more than my truck.”

Toby’s silent until he says, “Oh.”

“Thoughts?” Happy asks after another few minutes of silence.

“I’m not going to tell you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Toby says. “But, uh. I think I’m going to sign up for a few more conferences over the next few years. Make a little extra money on the side.”

“Uh, no,” Happy says. “I need you here. If you’re not helping me with the screaming infant, there’s no point to you making more money. The exchange isn’t worth it.”

Toby’s frowning when she looks over at him at a red light. “I thought you were –”

“I’ll keep my old bike,” Happy decides. “Ralph and I can take it apart, add things to it. That one I ride, at least. But my new one,” she sighs. “Too bad. I'll sell it.”

“You don’t have to,” Toby says. “We’ll figure something out.”

Happy shrugs. “If I’m being honest, I’m a little unimpressed with it.”

“You?” Toby asks. “Unimpressed with a motorcycle?”

“It’s too perfect,” Happy says. “I barely rode it when I could. Too worried about wrecking it.” She pulls into the parking lot of their apartment. “Bye-bye, bike.”

“You’re sure about this?”

Happy parks the car. “Yes, Toby,” she says. “I’m sure. It’s a bike. Also,” she shrugs, “it felt a little wrong to have a vehicle I can’t use anymore and can’t work on. Stop being weird.”

“But I’m always weird,” Toby says, with a little smile. But something’s wrong behind it.

Happy just looks at him.

“Okay, I’m just – I don’t want you to feel like you’re giving up who you are.” He looks at her, and she’s almost jealous of how easily open honesty comes to him. “I’m going to love you no matter what happens or how we change, but I want to make sure that you change in the ways you want to change.”

“Stop,” Happy says firmly, “shrinking this. I bought it two years ago and it was the worst buyer’s remorse in history.”

Toby rolls his eyes. “Yeah, right.”

Happy groans. “Yeah,” she says. “Okay? I was embarrassed. I dropped thirty grand on a bike, three full freakin’ Homeland paychecks, before really looking into it, and ever since then I’ve been so embarrassed at the impulse buy that I’ve barely touched it because I was afraid of knocking the value down.” She stares him down. “Remember a while back when I said I was cash broke? I lived on ramen for three weeks straight after that purchase.”

Toby stares at her. “Seriously?”

She nods. “It was pretty and shiny, and a terrible move. Trust me. This is a good thing.”

To her surprise, Toby’s lips break into a smile. “This is almost as good as finding out about the comedy club thing.”

“Oh, shut up,” Happy says. “You've gambled off three paychecks in one poker game before.”

Toby winces. “Okay, ouch.”

“Not funny?” Happy asks.

He shakes his head. “Not funny. At least, not yet.”

“Got it.”

Happy holds opens doors and teases Toby as he tries to haul the boxes in on his own, and eventually they make a call to Cabe and Sylvester. The three of them manage to bring the boxes in, only dropping one of them on Cabe’s foot and pinning Sylvester to the wall for only five minutes.

“I forgot how much planning went into preparing for kids,” Cabe says, gasping a little bit. “That stuff is heavy.”

Toby offers him a soft smile. “It’s a lot,” he says, and Happy remembers, for the first time in a while, that Cabe’s done this before. He’s built the crib, cared for a newborn, changed the diapers. And then his daughter died.

It explains the mournful look in his eyes every time he glances at the box containing the crib.

“Let’s get pizza,” Happy announces, because she’s terrible with this feelings stuff and doesn’t know what to do, but she’s saved by the shrink when he says something quiet but clearly comforting, and Cabe pulls him into a hug. Happy’s not sure she’s ever seen Cabe hug somebody like that, especially not Toby, and in that moment she decides that Toby is dealing with their daughter’s social problems.

“He’s going to be an awesome dad,” Sylvester says. “Until she starts dating. Then he’s going to psychoanalyze anybody who walks into the front door.”

Happy winces. “Oh, god, she’s not even here and you’re talking about dating? Too fast. Slow down.”

Sylvester laughs. “It’s just nice that we’re getting a new addition to the team, you know?” His smile is sadder than it should be. “Our family was getting a little small.”

Happy recognizes the look of loss in his eyes.

“You and Megan would have been amazing parents,” Happy says, going for honesty, because Toby’s got Cabe and Happy needs to pull her weight somehow. “You’ll still be, if you want to.”

His smile gets back some of its sunshine. “Thanks, Happy.”

She calls for pizza with the intention of ordering, but Cabe steals the phone and refuses to let them pay.

“You have a baby, I have a 401K,” Cabe says. “I’m buying.”

“We don’t have the baby yet,” Toby argues.

“It’ll happen soon enough,” Cabe shoots back. “Now stop arguing before I shoot you.”

“You didn’t carry a gun to our apartment,” Toby scoffs.

Cabe points to his ankle. “You really want to find out?”

Toby’s voice is small when he answers, “No.”

They eat and chat until Toby says, “Do we even want to know where Paige and Walter are?”

“They weren’t at the garage,” Sylvester mentions.

Cabe holds up a hand. “We’re going to end the conversation there,” he says.

"Why?" Toby says. "We don't want to gossip about the romantic lives of our colleages?"

"No," Happy, Cabe, and Sylvester say in tandem.

"Get the joke next time," Toby says, pointing to them with his pizza.

Eventually, though, it’s getting late and Cabe starts yawning.

“Getting tired, Pops?” Toby asks.

“You don’t get to call me that,” Cabe says firmly. “Only the kid does. And, I guess, Ralph. If he wants to.”

“Still gonna do it,” says Toby.

Happy stands and goes to the crib while the rest of them finish up, ready to take on the challenge of putting it together.

“Anybody seen my screw driver?” Happy asks as she pulls open the box.

“Whoa, you’re not doing that tonight, are you?” Cabe asks.

“I did about a third of what you guys did,” Happy says, pulling a box cutter out of her back pocket and slicing open the cardboard. “I’ve got plenty of energy.”

Toby turns to Sylvester. “Is it weird that I found that hot?”

“What?” Cabe asks, looking befuddled.

“The fact that she had a box cutter in her pocket,” Toby replies.

“Yes,” Sylvester and Cabe say, while Happy says, “Not really.”

“And with that,” Sylvester says, “I’m heading out. Thanks for the pizza.”

“No problem, Sly,” Toby says. “And thanks again, guys. Couldn’t have done this without you.”

Cabe nods. “Happy could have.”

She laughs. “He’s right.”

As much as she argued that she was fine, Happy’s wiped once she gets all the pieces out of the box, the wood heavier than she’d realized. It’s spread out messily across the floor of their living room.

“Does this count as intense physical labor?” Happy shouts across the apartment.

“Yes,” Toby replies. “so stop. Come to bed.”

“I’m busy.”

She hears his footsteps. “Come on,” he whines, a ridiculous pout on his face. “Come snuggle.”

“I want to get this done,” Happy says, but then she yawns.

Toby grins. “I’ll give you a back rub.”

She’s prepared to argue, but the temptation of one of Toby’s back rubs supersedes any sort of personal battle she’s waging with the crib. “Fine,” Happy says, and she doesn’t even have to ask for help when she starts to get up, Toby holding out a hand and pulling her to her feet like it was second nature. Her hand still in his, he begins to walk to the bedroom.

“Wait a second,” Happy says. Toby turns back to her, and she pulls him in for a kiss, wrapping her arms around his back. But she’s stopped from getting too close.

Toby laughs against her lips. “She’s in the way.”

“Yeah, she is,” Happy agrees.

The baby kicks.

“Apparently she knows we’re talking about her,” Toby says. He kneels in front of Happy, eye level with her belly. “Hi, there. I’m trying to kiss your mom and you’re not letting me. That’s not very nice of you.” He rests his hands on her belly, tapping gently.

“That feels really weird,” Happy notes.

“It’s pregnancy,” Toby says, the baby kicking against his hands where they rest on her belly. “Everything’s weird.”

“You think parenting’s going to be weirder?” Happy asks.

Toby looks up at her. “With a kid that’s half you and half me?” he says. He stands, kissing her lightly. “Nothing could be weirder.”


	11. Pregnancy, Week 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long talks in baby nurseries are somehow more important than anywhere else.

“Fuck!” Happy exclaims.

Toby’s hilariously off balance as he stumbles down the hallway with his pants half on. “What’s wrong?!”

“Okay, first off, I wish I had a camera,” Happy says, “because you’re the funniest thing I’ve seen all year.”

“Apparently there isn’t an emergency if you can be making fun of me,” he says, scrambling back into his jeans. “What’s wrong?”

“This,” she says, gesturing to the nursery. “She’s going to be here in sixteen weeks, or sooner, because that’s what my luck looks like, and we don’t have anything more than a rocking chair and a pile of baby clothes that Paige won’t stop buying.” She kicks at a stack of papers. "And these."

“In fairness,” Toby says, peeking around the door, “we do have a partially assembled crib.”

“Which is in the living room,” Happy adds, “and has been for a week now.”

Toby shrugs. “So?”

“So,” says Happy, stepping over a pile of books, “if you think I’m going to be able to handle putting this stuff together at six months pregnant, you’re high. I’m already sweating bullets and it’s only June and she,” Happy points to her belly, “is only going to get bigger.”

“That’s because she’s going to be taller than Mommy by the age of thirteen,” Toby says, leaning into kiss Happy. His hands slide around her waist.

She splays a hand over his face, pushing him away. “No way. Not again. You’ve done that the last three times I’ve tried to get started on the nursery.”

“Damn it,” Toby says, frowning. “I was hoping you wouldn’t catch on.”

“Yeah, well, it’s ten in the morning and it’s not three thousand degrees outside,” Happy says, “which, in my book, means it’s time to get this done.”

“We need paint,” Toby says.

“What?”

“We need to paint the place before we start building things and moving them in here,” Toby explains. "I hate painting. I don't want to paint."

"We don't have to paint yet," Happy replies. “We need to go through our stuff first. I don’t know how it happened, but the two of us became hoarders.”

“Hoarders, we are not,” Toby argues. “Most of this stuff is important. We just need to,” he shrugs, “put it somewhere else.”

Happy looks over and has an inkling that it’ll be a full day job, so they get started.

At noon, they stop for lunch, and Happy spends twenty minutes making fun of Toby for keeping his old essays and tests from college.

“You’re never going to use them!” she says in between bites of her sandwich. “Seriously, man, pull an Elsa and let it go.”

Toby stares at her. “There were more important things in that sentence, but I cannot believe you just quoted Frozen.”

Happy shrugs. “The changes of motherhood, am I right?”

“Maybe,” Toby considers. "Or you were watching Disney Channel again." He grins at her. "Secret child at heart, Happy Quinn."

"So sue me," Happy grumbles. "Some of the shows are funny." She looks at Toby. "Still, you need to get rid of those papers."

“But I need to keep those.”

“You do not,” Happy says, rolling her eyes. She tries to lean more closely into the counter, but her belly is in the way. “Baby, if I get mustard on this shirt, it’s your fault.”

“Aw,” says Toby. “You’re talking to her, too.”

“Disparagingly and ironically,” Happy corrects.

“Not true,” he counters. “Yesterday I heard you telling her about all of her baby clothes.”

Happy blushes. “I had no idea you heard that.”

“I hear everything,” Toby counters. “Also, you were talking really loudly.” Toby looks down at her belly. “And your mom tells me I never shut up.”

“That’s because you never shut up,” Happy argues.

They get back to the room only a few minutes later and manage to clean out more of their things, but it doesn’t go quickly or without argument. Happy concedes to get rid of a bunch of old auto magazines as long as Toby gets rid of all his old papers from high school and college.

“They could come in handy!” Toby says, pouting a little bit. Happy won’t even look at those puppy dog eyes.

“They’re paper,” Happy says, dropping her magazines in a bin. “We have a stupid amount of paper in this place. Get rid of it.”

“I don’t want to.” When Happy turns around, Toby's got a full pout going on. 

“I swear to god, Toby, if you try a temper tantrum…” Happy trails off and settles for her best glare.

Toby looks cowed. “I’ll get rid of it.”

Happy just turns back to her side of the room.

Her desk was mostly auto magazines and some books she’d collected over the past few years, which they’ve decided to relocate into their bedroom, a bookshelf in their shopping list.

But she’s suddenly struck by how much less she has when compared to Toby. He’s no hoarder, she’ll accept that, but at least he has things he kept that he didn't need to. Everything she's ever had, up until a few years ago, was the necessary stuff. Through shuffling around foster homes and orphanages, Happy managed to keep whatever fit in a suitcase. She still has it, shoved to the back of the office closet, and she stops sorting through magazines to haul it out. It’s smaller than she remembers, lighter too, and when she pulls it in front of Toby, he stops what he’s doing.

“What’s that?” he asks, walking over to her. She sits on the ground and he follows her lead, sitting next to her.

“Only stuff I managed to keep after all those years,” she says quietly. She pulls out a little shredded piece of fabric, and it’s hardly recognizable as the blanket she carried around with her everywhere until she was eight. It was the one thing her dad left with her other than the clothes on her back - a little handmade blanket by her mother. 

Toby snuggles against her so her back is resting against his chest. “Thank you for sharing this with me,” he murmurs, kissing her neck.

Happy nods. “Think we could turn the blanket into something she could keep?” Happy runs the soft, worn fabric through her fingers, the purple threads feeling like home against her fingertips.

“Sure,” Toby replies. “What about a blanket? Just like yours.”

“I barely remember what it looked like,” Happy says.

“Then we’ll make it hers with a twist,” Toby says. He rests his hand on top of hers, and for the first time, she lets someone else touch her blanket. She doesn’t say what the moment means, because there are a million other more important things she’s done with Toby that should be more profound than this, but it means something.

“I’m so excited to see her grow up,” Toby says quietly, and he sounds a bit choked up. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

The baby kicks at Happy’s belly, and she takes Toby’s hand and rests it where their daughter is playing soccer with Happy’s belly button. “I think she feels the same about you,” Happy mentions.

He kisses her cheek. “I can’t love the two of you more,” he says. “And every day, somehow, I do. How do you do that?”

Happy shrugs. “I’m just amazing, I guess." The baby shifts. "Yeah, so are you."

Toby smiles against her skin. “You’ve got that right.”

Happy pulls out memory after memory, the tee shirt she was wearing when her dad dropped her off, a ticket from her first concert, the bottle cap from her first beer, the cheap vending machine ring given to her by the first boy she tried to love, a tattered, makeshift photo album of Happy and friends she’d lost touch with long ago. She runs her fingertips along the three pages of cardboard sewn together with ribbon that was bright purple once. Happy wrote her name and, “Do not enter,” on the front of the album when she was thirteen, and taped together a bunch of pockets for her polaroid pictures. She runs her fingertips around a dozen memories, things half forgotten in the years since she left school and found Scorpion.

“You were an adorable teenager,” Toby mentions, pointing at a picture. “Do you have a purple streak in your hair?”

“Shut up,” Happy laughs. “And, yeah. Rosa had a pink one.”

“Rosa?” Toby asks.

Happy points to the girl whose arms are wrapped around her. “She was my first kiss,” Happy explains. “We used to cut class and sneak outside. She was always smoking, so I would pretend I wanted a cigarette just to hang out with her.”

“How old were you here?” Toby asks. “Fourteen?”

“Thirteen,” Happy corrects. “We took this picture at the beginning of eighth grade.”

Toby hold her tight, and she doesn’t know how to thank him for just knowing that this is hard to say without her having to mention it.

“She left,” Happy adds, voice quiet. “She was only there with an aunt for a year. Christmas came around and she was moving back to New York City in the New Year, and I barely got to say goodbye.”

He kisses her temple. “I’m sorry you lost her,” he says quietly.

Happy shrugs. “We were kids,” she says, the same excuse she’s told herself for years, “it didn’t really matter.”

“No,” Toby says, “it did. Or else you wouldn’t have kept the picture.”

“I think I could have loved her,” Happy says after a few moments’ silence, resting her head against Toby’s shoulder. “If we were older, I mean. But she left. Just like everybody else.” It hurts her more than anything to admit it out loud, because, as much as she knows that most people who left her didn’t do so because of something she did, something inside her still tells her she’s the reason.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Toby says, the promise clear in his voice. “Right, baby girl? We’ve got your mommy’s back until the ends of the earth.”

And through everything, all the fights and the fears and the near-death experiences, Happy believes him.

They flip through photos, six pictures of cars or scenery Happy shot when she was another person, and half pictures of people. Happy’s only in two of them: the picture with Rosa, and the picture with her GED in her hand as she’s flipping off the camera, tongue sticking out like she thinks she's cool.

“You thought you were such a badass,” Toby laughs, touching the picture like he can’t believe it’s there. “Who took the photo?”

Happy blushes. “One of the guys I took the classes with.” She manages a grin. “One of the guys I, uh,” she nudges Toby in the ribs with her elbow, “that I celebrated with, if you know what I mean.”

“Hey, getting me jealous isn’t going to work,” he laughs. “You’re with me now, and you,” he drums a quick pattern on her belly, making the baby kick at his hands, “are having my baby. I love hearing about where you came from,” he kisses her neck, “because I like knowing how you got to who you are now.”

“Damn,” Happy says, putting the memories away and zipping the suitcase. “You’ve got some decent lines.”

Toby hums in agreement, and for a brief second Happy lets herself get lost in the way his lips press to her neck.

“We still need to get this place together,” Happy says, tilting her head to the side. Toby moves his lips to her ear, and it’s all she can do to lean away. She wants to arch into the touch, ignore the job in front of her.

“If we finish cleaning,” Toby mutters, his voice in her ear enough to send a shiver up her spine, “can we pick up we leave off?”

“We fucking better,” Happy replies.

They clear out the room of the clutter and trash in an hour, organize what’s left into bins and bookshelves in their room and the living room in another hour, and stare at the empty nursery in shock.

“So,” says Toby, wiping sweat off his forehead. “We did good.”

Happy nods. “How the hell did we manage this again?” She checks her phone’s clock. “In four hours?”

“I don’t know about you,” he says, and it’s clear from his smile that he’s about to make a stupid joke, “but I just wanted to get laid.”

Happy turns to him. “Oh, yeah, okay,” she says with an eye roll. “Because that’s the way you think.”

Toby shrugs. “You’ve got a point.” He smiles at her. “Maybe I’m just madly in love with you.”

“Maybe,” Happy replies. She walks toward him and grabs a handful of his shirt. “So, uh,” she grins. “We had a deal.”

“That we did,” she says, and she likes the way he’s smiling down at her.

She reaches out and grabs a fistful of his shirt. “Then let’s get going.”

* * *

“We still need to paint the room,” Toby says about an hour later.

“Are you kidding me?” Happy asks. “We just got it on all over the house – all over the house – and you’re thinking about paint?”

He grins at her. “I was thinking about other things for about,” he checks his watch, “fifty-six minutes.”

“Oh, now you’re timing me,” Happy says with an eye roll. “Clever. Witty.”

He shrugs and pulls her close with the arm wrapped around her shoulders. Somehow the two of them ended up on the couch, their clothing scattered everywhere in the apartment. Happy’s not sure how it happened, but she notices her underwear hanging off their ceiling fan.

“Hey, Toby?”

“Yes, darling?”

She nods. “If you think this is about to get romantic, you’re wrong. I’m just pointing out the fact that my underwear ended up on the ceiling fan.”

Toby looks up. “Well would you look at that.” He looks down at her. “I’m going to have to get those for you. You’re too short.”

“So are you,” Happy retorts. “That’s, like, seven feet up.”

“I could get it if I jump,” Toby argues. “Here. Watch.” He’s standing before she knows it, and instead of making fun of him, she just decides to watch his tragic attempts at jumping.

“Full moon at five in the afternoon,” Happy mentions.

“What?”

Happy sighs. “God, you’re oblivious. And very naked.”

Toby turns to her, “Hey, you can’t be making fun of me. It’s your underwear on the fan.”

“You’re the one who threw it up there,” Happy replies. Her smug grin does the trick – Toby pouts.

“You were being impatient,” Toby says. “And you said, and I’m quoting here, ‘if you don’t get going soon, I’m going to kick your skinny ass.’”

“Well, it is skinny,” Happy says, looking pointedly.

He shakes it toward her. “What, you got a problem?”

“Now I do!” she laughs. “Get away, dummy.”

“You weren’t saying that five minutes ago,” he says, leaning down to kiss her. She gets lost it in for a minute, then pats his cheek.

“Come on,” she says, “I’m getting dressed. We need to get paint.”

“We need to get your undies off the ceiling fan first,” Toby corrects.

“You need to do that,” Happy replies.

When she comes back into the living room, Toby’s swinging at the underwear with his shirt.

“I’m trying!” he exclaims as Happy dissolves into laughter. “Stop laughing.”

“I can’t!” Happy chokes out. “Dude, just give up and get a ladder.”

He drops the shirt. “Fine.”

Eventually they get themselves together and the underwear off the ceiling, and Toby sings every song on Happy’s rock playlist wrong. Happy's secret favorite is _Smells Like Teen Spirits_ , which Toby managed to completely revamp the song into a story about teenage ghosts. But she'll never tell him.

Happy realizes, when they’re in Home Depot looking at paint samples, that having a whole day to themselves isn’t going to be a frequent occurrence anymore. Instead of laughing in the front seat about Toby's changed lyrics, they'll be soothing a baby. Instead of Toby making fun of the way Happy sighs at the chain saws, they'll be feeding an infant. There’s always going to be someone else with them, someone tiny and demanding and insistent on their attention.

Someone that’s perfect and theirs, but at the same time, they won’t be the two of them anymore. It’s going to be the three of them.

“I like the idea of periwinkle,” Toby says, looking between four different colors of bluish-purple that Happy kind of can’t differentiate between, “what do you think?”

“Are we going to have time for each other?” Happy says, half stumbling over her words.

Toby turns to her. “Always,” he says, and there’s such sincerity and surety in the statement that Happy almost feels guilty for doubting them.

“Okay,” Happy says, trying to choose her words, “but we’re having a kid. Really soon. And after that,” now it’s like she’s trying to force the words out, “and after that, we’re never going to be alone again. The baby’s always going to be part of our lives.”

Toby nods. “Yes,” he replies. “And?”

“And you haven’t thought about that?” Happy asks. “I mean, we weren’t even together for a year before I got pregnant. And it won’t even be two years together before she gets here.” She looks at him. “You’ve already gone through this in your head, haven't you.”

“Yes,” Toby replies. “If you’re worried we won’t have time for each other, I can virtually guarantee that any time we ask, Paige or your dad will babysit and we can go bananas on each other for, like, and entire evening.” His smile grows dirty. “Get you off a couple times then go out for dinner.”

Happy smacks his arm. “Oh my god,” she says. “We’re in a Home Depot!” She looks around. The mid-forties couple five feet away from them looks scandalized in a mildly amusing way.

Toby shrugs. “Am I wrong?” he asks. “Besides, nobody’s anywhere near us. And you needed to hear it.”

Happy looks at him.

“Look, Happy, no matter what happens, I’m making time for you, okay?” That sincerity is back in his eyes. “And for her,” he says, and a little smile grows on his lips. He rests his hand on her baby bump that’s reached the point of absurd hugeness. “As much as I love where we are now, I think it’s only going to get better when she gets here.”

Happy exhales. “Yeah,” she says, not meeting his eyes.

“I love you,” Toby says. “And I still can’t believe you love me too and chose me. And…” He trails off. “I know you need to hear it sometimes, so here it goes. You’re my entire universe. And as scared as I am for this parenting thing, I know I can do it because I’ve got you by my side. You’re unfairly great at everything you do, and this is just going to be another thing you excel at.” His smile nearly sticks her feet to the floor. “And when she gets here, I think our universe is just going to double in size.”

“Actually, that’s not how the expansion of the universe works,” Happy mentions, “it’s a little more like –”

Toby leans in and kisses her, a hand on the side of her face, and it rather quickly occurs to her that he’s using her move against her. She doesn’t mind it, though. It’s a nice way to stop talking. She can hear the distressed muttering of the couple near them, but she ignores it. They'll never see them again.

When they pull away, Happy looks at the color samples in his hand. She points to the one that’s got a hue a little more purple than blue. “I like this one,” she says, letting Toby wrap his hand around her waist and kiss her temple. She’s not one for this many public displays of affection but this moment is different and she thinks she needs it.

“No,” Toby says. “Okay, no way.”

“What?”

“That’s my favorite one!” Toby says, looking giddy. “We just agreed on the baby’s room color.”

Happy shrugs. “Guess you’ve got good taste.”

“I’m with you,” Toby says, kissing her temple. “I’ve got the best taste in history.”

* * *

They’ve got the baby’s room painted at the end of the next day, Happy nailing Toby with the paint roller four times before he realizes it wasn’t by accident.

“I’m covered in purple,” Toby deadpans, “and you did this to me.”

“Yep,” Happy says, wielding the paint roller like a sword, “and you didn’t notice until now.”

Toby grins. “Oh, you wanna go?”

“Yeah, I want to go,” Happy says. “To sleep. We’ve been doing this for eight straight hours and we’re basically done.”

Toby nods. “I guess you’re right, but before we go to bed we need to –” Toby reaches out and rolls right down her belly with the paint roller.

Happy’s silent for a moment before she says, “This is your shirt.”

“Oh,” Toby says, frowning as he looks at the Harvard Med logo. “Damn. You’re right.”

“And before you make any more stupid moves,” Happy says, holding up her paint roller in defense, “these are also your pants.”

“No way,” Toby says, “you’d be tripping over them.”

Happy shows him the ankle. “I rolled them twelve times. They're the only non-maternity pants I fit into."

Toby snorts. “You’re so short.”

“Oh yeah?” Happy says. She nails him in the face with the paint. “Who’s laughing now?”

“Probably still me,” Toby says. “Because you’re wearing my clothes and having my baby.”

“Well,” says Happy. “You’re not wrong.” She checks the label on the paint can. “Hey, apparently this should be dry by tonight. We can start decorating and getting this place together tomorrow afternoon.”

“Sounds great,” Toby says. “But first.” He rolls the paint down her face. “You’re blue, da ba dee, da ba die.”

“This is periwinkle,” Happy shoots back. “Also, if this is your move to get me in the shower with you, it’s going to work.”

Toby grins. “I like the way you think,” he says. Without preamble, he pulls his paint covered shirt off over his head and throws it. It catches on his hair and leaves behind a giant purple smudge down the center of his curly hair.

“If that was supposed to be sexy, you failed,” Happy says. “Also, you just threw your shirt directly into newly painted wall.”

Toby and Happy look over to see a smudged piece of the wall. “It adds character to the room,” Toby argues.

“Yeah, I’m not repainting,” Happy says. “We’ll just put the crib against that wall.”

“Brilliant.”


	12. Pregnancy, Week 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot more firsts involved with having a kid than one realizes.

Cases where Happy’s left alone in the garage to man the electronics and all the rest of them go out to try and save the world always end in chaos. She’s convinced of it. She could set her clock by it.

Happy’s theory is demonstrated and proven today by the fact that they all got dunked in marsh water, shot at by a senile old man thinking they were coming to take his guns, and, according to Toby, at least two of them had leeches attached to their skin.

“So,” says Happy, running her hand through her hair as Toby walks into the garage. “You think that could have gone worse?”

“Probably,” Toby replies, shaking his hands out. “If the leeches hadn’t been accessible.” He shudders. “Pulling leeches from Walter’s leg was bad enough.”

Happy winces. “Ew.”

He nods. “If the team ever has to drive a four wheeler through marshes, we’re doing it when you can come with us. All marsh related cases need to wait until you’re ready to go back to the hard jobs.”

Happy grins at him from where she’s lounging in his desk chair, the rest of the team looking muddied and beat to hell as they walk in.

“Oh, don’t look so smug,” Toby says. “We managed.”

“Barely,” Cabe says, looking like he’s just taken a shower in a mudslide. “Somebody told us he knew how to handle a four wheeler and ended up leading us into the one part in the marsh that wasn’t solid.”

“I do know how to handle a four wheeler!” Walter argues. “Just, apparently, not in a marsh.”

“So you guys all fell in a puddle,” Happy clarifies. “Perfect.” She laughs at all of them. “Oh, you people are helpless without me.”

“Of course we are,” Toby says, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “That was never up for debate.”

“If you kiss me while covered in mud and who knows what else,” Happy warns, leaning away from Toby.

His grin turns devious. “Oh, really?” Before Happy knows what’s happening, he reaches out and hugs her, half pulling her out of her chair. The mud from his drenched clothing soaks into her shirt.

“You’re an asshole,” she says firmly, kicking him in the thigh, but she’s laughing, and she lets him kiss her on the cheek.

“I’m going to have to do that to Ralph when he gets here,” Paige says, literally wringing out her sweater in the sink. She’s standing in a white tank top, see through from the water, and Happy sees Walter staring a little brainlessly.

“Walter, take a picture,” Happy comments.

“It’ll last longer,” Toby adds.

Toby turns to her. “I just finished your sentence,” he says. “We’re adorable.”

“You’re annoying,” Paige replies, glaring. “When did you two get so annoying?”

“When we walked in on you and Walter making out on the couch,” Toby replies seriously.

Happy holds back the impulse to laugh.

“You people need to stop getting married and pregnant and stupid,” Cabe says, shaking his head. “I’ve got enough to deal with without your antics.”

“Oh cool it, Pops, you love us,” Toby says. He walks up, throwing an arm around Cabe’s drenched shoulder. “Right?”

“No,” Cabe says, shoving Toby’s arm off of his shoulder. “Now everybody get home and take a shower. Get this mud off.” He shakes his arms out. “This is disgusting.”

“If I were there, none of you would be soaking wet right now.” Happy sighs, and kicks her legs up onto Toby’s desk. “Oh, it’s good to be the best.”

“I will wring my shirt out on you,” Toby says.

“Try me,” Happy replies.

“If you two keep flirting at work, I’m going to reinstate the no fraternization rule,” Walter says. But, despite the serious tone, he’s smiling as he chances a glance over at Paige.

“Walter, are you making a joke?” Toby says, feigning shock. “Did Robot Walter download new humor software? Do we –”

Toby’s shut up by a balled up, soaking wet sweater hitting him directly in the face, and Happy looks over to see Walter looking smug and Paige looking proud.

“That,” Happy says, “was the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Happy, we’re going home,” Toby says, looking distressed. “I just got owned by Walter O’Brien. I’ll never live this down.”

“No,” Happy says, grinning, “you won’t.”

She doesn’t let it go for the entire drive home, until they walk into the house and Toby pulls off his sweater, putting it over her shoulders.

“What is wrong with you?” Happy says, half laughing as she pulls it off and tosses it, proud of herself when it lands directly in the kitchen sink.

“That was impressive,” Toby says, looking at the sweater. “Why are you good at everything?”

Happy shrugs. “Part of my charm.”

Toby steps toward her, crowding her against the kitchen table. “It really is.”

Their bellies bump.

“She’s getting in the way of me being all romantic,” Toby says, frowning. “How am I supposed to seduce you if she’s in the way?”

Happy stands on her toes and kisses him. “We’ll worry about that later. You know what I realized?”

“What?” Toby asks.

“We haven’t gotten the car,” Happy says. “I sold the bike a week ago, so we have the cash.”

“We have twenty grand in cash?!” Toby exclaims. “Before we get the car can we, like, put it on the bed and roll around in it?”

“No,” Happy says. “What – who even thinks of that?”

He’s practically bouncing. “I’ve watched too many movies,” he says, “and – oh, okay.” His expression changes and he exhales. “Oh, fuck.”

“What?” Happy says. The change in his demeanor was so rapid and disconcerting that she feels a spike of anxiety run down her spine. “What the hell just happened?”

Toby takes a steadying breath. “My first thought was that I could double it in an hour at the craps table,” he admits. It sounds like the words are pulled from him. “Damn,” his voice is defeated, “and I was doing so well.”

It’s a moment before Happy knows what he means. There hasn’t been a mention of his gambling for a while, not since their intense conversation, and for it to come up now is disconcerting. “Hey, thinking about it isn’t the problem,” Happy says. She doesn’t really know how to handle this. Managing breakdowns is Toby’s job here.

“It is, though,” Toby groans, scrubbing his face with his hands. “Fuck, my first thought should have been what car to get.” He drops his head in his hands, and Happy can feel the shame radiate off of him.

“Okay, but you’re not doing it,” Happy says, deciding that Toby might need to hear his own advice right now. The only problem is, she has no idea what that advice would look like. “I’ve thought about stabbing Walter, like, three dozen times. And that’s only in the past week. But I’ve never actually done it.”

“But I have gambled away savings,” Toby says. “I think you underestimate just how much I’ve fucked up in the past.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Happy snaps. “I was there for all of it. I saw what you did to your savings account, and to Amy’s. Don’t pretend like I’m going into this blind.” She pushes at his shoulder until he looks up at her. “I know what I signed up for.”

He nods, looking even worse. “I just hate the idea that it’s still in me, that I’m still capable of destroying everything we have like that.” His eyes are wet, but the minute she realizes it, he drops his head back into his hands. “I never want to do anything like that to you.”

“But you’re not that person anymore,” Happy says. “Look, you’ve had the opportunity to blow it a lot over the past few years.”

“I did blow it,” Toby says.

“Okay, yeah,” Happy agrees, “but when you blew it with me it was because you were so anxious you OD’d on anxiety meds.” He finally looks up at her without prompting, looking so sad and so guilty that Happy begins to wonder if he’ll ever stop hating himself for who he used to be. “It’s never been gambling with us. The only thing that’s gotten in the way of us being together was the fact that we weren’t ready for it. And now that’s gone.” She kisses his forehead, the way he does to her, a little reassurance that she’s there. She hopes it means as much to him as it does to her. “You’re not going to screw this up.”

“How the hell can you be so sure about that?” he says. "Usually I'm the one making grand declarations. How do you know I'm not going to screw up again."

Happy smiles at him and grabs his hand, swinging it a little mindlessly. “Because I trust you.”

He breaks into a hesitant half smile and she steps closer. He catches the hint, standing so she can fold into his arms.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs, lips pressed to the top of her head. His voice is broken and scared. “Both of you. I don’t want to ruin this.”

“You won’t,” Happy says. “I won’t let you.”

He laughs. “Duly noted.” He runs his hands along her back. “Although, just in case, we should go car shopping today. Just so it’s out of my head.”

“Good idea,” she says. “But first, we’re showering. You’re dripping on the kitchen floor.”

“Oh,” Toby says, laughing lightly, “you’re right.”

He starts to walk away, but she feels like something’s still unsaid. Happy catches his hand, and rests it on her belly. The baby’s not moving around right now, but she’s there, and she’s real, and Happy wants Toby to remember that. “See this?” she says. “She’s more important than either of us. We can screw up with each other as much as we have to – but she’s going to keep us in line.”

His smile is watery, uncertain, but it grows and steadies as the baby seems to wake up. There’s pressure right on his hand, almost like she’s trying to touch him, responding to the pressure.

“We’re going to be okay,” Happy insists, smiling at Toby. “Also, don’t be a fucking idiot. But I think that goes without mention.”

Toby leans in and kisses Happy so sweetly and so softly that it’s almost like another apology, and she’s not sure how long he’s going to beat himself up over this. But she’s here and so is the baby and, for once, she’ll be the one to take care of him.

They take a long, warm shower, Toby spending too much time apologizing with gentle touches and tiny kisses, and Happy resorts to teasing him about smelling like a pond to get him to smile.

She pulls on one of his tee shirts – some stupid graphic joke – and Toby just grins.

“You look good in my clothes,” he says as Happy pulls on her maternity jeans.

“I can practically only wear your clothes,” Happy corrects. “Ugh, if I weren’t pregnant, this outfit would make me look like a fourteen year old boy.”

“Not true,” Toby says. “You’re shorter than a fourteen year old boy.”

“Oh, great,” Happy says, pulling off the shirt and whipping it at Toby. “I’m not going car shopping in this. Help me find one of my maternity shirts.”

“The blue one or the purple one?” Toby asks, looking through the pile of clean laundry in the hamper. “Because I have purple right here.”

“Go for purple,” Happy says, catching it when Toby throws it to her. “Do I look like an adult professional capable of buying a car that’s over five hundred dollars?”

“Your truck was only five hundred dollars?” Toby asks. “Seriously?”

Happy shrugs. “Three fifty. I cleaned her up nice.”

Toby laughs. “Impressive.” His expression changes, grows soft and thoughtful. “Oh,” he says.

“What?” She’s a little worried – the past few hours haven’t been the kindest to Toby and his random realizations.

“It’s another first,” he says. “Our first new car together.” He grins at her. “Our first family car.”

“Ugh, that makes us sound so domestic,” Happy grumbles. “Let’s go back to being cool science superheroes or whatever.”

“We’re almost parents,” Toby says, kissing the top of her head as he walks to the dresser to grab a shirt. “We’ll never be cool again.” He looks her up and down after pulling his shirt over his head. “Actually, you’ll be a cool mom. You’ve got a cool mom edge.”

“That may be the most insulting thing you’ve ever said to me,” Happy says, twisting her hair up into a ponytail.

“It’s not insulting!” Toby argues, following her as she walks into the kitchen to grab her keys. “It’s a compliment – like you’re going to be the mom that all her classmates have a crush on in high school.”

“Digging a hole, Doc,” Happy says. She opens the door to leave the apartment. “You’re reminding me that I’m getting old.”

“Hey,” Toby says, catching the door. “I’m five years older than you are.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” she says. “You’re old. Not me.”

“Not what I meant!” Toby exclaims.

As old as he is, which Happy rubs in for the ten minute car ride to the dealership she and Toby had planned on going to earlier that week, he is weirdly good at wearing down car salesmen.

“No,” Toby insists, “I don’t want the Blu-ray player. We’re having a baby, not a six year old.”

“But when the baby gets older,” the dealer tries to insist.

Happy raises an eyebrow. “She’ll read a book,” she says, smiling at him. “Dude. Drop the Blu-ray.”

The dealer nods. “Alright. What other pieces are you looking for?”

“The car,” Happy deadpans.

Toby shoots her a look, like he’s trying not to laugh. But they’ve been here half an hour and she gets that there’s a plan to Toby’s looking around pretending like they don’t already know what car they’re getting, she gets it, but god is this boring. She’s deconstructed every engine in the place three or four times now, just to keep herself entertained. She also read three manuals and made herself one of their complimentary coffees before remembering she shouldn’t be drinking caffeine, and then proceeded to subtly dump it down the sink. It wasn’t subtle. She got a glare from the receptionist.

She really hates car dealerships.

“Let me go check in on the prices of the cars you’re looking at,” the dealer says. He eyes them warily for a moment as he leaves.

“Why can’t we just tell him we want the one we want?” Happy asks, nodding to the 2015 Forester her eye had been on since day one. “This seems stupid.”

“Because,” Toby says, “if we pretend like we’re interested in the cheaper models first, then go up to the pricier one but pretend we won’t have the money for the more expensive car, they’re more likely to give us a discount.”

“That’s manipulative,” Happy replies. “I kind of love it.”

Toby shrugs, adjusting his hat. “I’ve got skills. What can I say?”

The dealer comes back to find Happy and Toby looking at one of the cheapest cars on the lot. Happy watches his face, but she doesn’t see anything that would tell her that Toby’s plan is working.

And then he speaks.

“I’ve spoken to my manager,” he begins, clapping his hands together, “and it turns out we can give you the used 2015 Forester for the price of the 2011 used Forester. Would that work for you?”

Happy’s about to speak, but Toby interrupts. “And we can’t go any lower?” he asks. Which is weird, because the price is already three grand lower than they were ready to pay. They’ll have money left over with that pricing.

But she thinks Toby’s got a plan, so Happy just watches the expression on the dealer’s face fall.

“Maybe by another few hundred,” he says hesitantly.

“No, you know what?” Toby turns to Happy. “What do you think?”

She stares at him. “I think we should buy a car,” she says. He should know by now – she’s good at the cars, not the dealers. There’s clearly some script here she never read, some art to the skill of buying stuff that she never learned.

Toby turns back to the dealer. “The queen has spoken. Let’s get this done.”

“You called me queen in public,” Happy grumbles. “We’re talked about that.”

“Relax, it was part of getting the car.” He kisses her temple. “See? Now they think you make all the decisions, and they won’t do any sexist bullshit like argue whose name is first on the paperwork. I know what I’m doing.”

“Can you make this go any faster?” she asks, letting him wrap an arm around her waist, because her back hurts and she’s tired. And because, and she’ll never admit this, she feels a lot better when she has a reminder that he’s there.

“Nope,” Toby says. “Doctor, yes. Doctor Who, no.”

“You’re a fucking nerd.”

He turns to her. “Yes. You’re just realizing this now?”

It’s another hour before they’ve signed the last pieces of paperwork, and now they’re just waiting for the keys and the go-ahead.

“This is the most boring thing in the world,” Happy groans, stretching out on the chair again. She can’t get comfortable – the baby has decided to crush up into her ribs and it’s really unpleasant – and these chairs aren’t doing anything to help. Of course, at that minute, her daughter starts doing the damn tango with what’s probably some vital organ.

Damn baby.

“Well, this is what happens when you buy a car from a dealership instead of from a guy named Big Steve in a Walmart parking lot,” Toby says, giving her a pointed look. She kicks at his leg.

“Jackass.”

“Asshole,” Toby replies, grinning at her. “I love you.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” But she can’t help but smile at him. “Love you, too.”

Finally – finally, Christ – the keys are handed, the final motions are made, and the car is theirs.

“Felt kind of bad letting go of that money,” Happy says as they walk out to the cars. “But, you know. Car.”

“Car,” Toby agrees. They look at it for a minute.

“Holy crap,” Toby says.

“What?”

“That’s the car we’re driving our daughter home from the hospital in,” Toby says.

Happy nods. “Yeah, Doc. That’s why we went through all this.” She points at her belly. “Child.”

“I just mean,” he clarifies, “it’s getting real.”

“Yeah,” Happy replies. “It is. Also,” she plucks the keys from his hands, “I get to drive the shiny new car first.”

“What?!” Toby exclaims.

Happy tosses him the keys to her truck. “Have fun with the truck.”

“Not fair!” he argues. “I wanted to drive it home.”

“Too bad,” Happy says, grinning at him. “I’m the one stuck being pregnant, you’re the one who gets to drive the ugly car home.”

Toby groans. “Fine,” he decides. He kisses her quickly. “See you at home. Jerk.”

She grins at him. “Have fun! I know I will!”

It’s weird to drive home in a car that doesn’t need work, one that’s spacious and has a back seat, and is kind of like a space pod. But it’s nice. And she can already see the space where the car seat is going to fit. Right now the car seat is planted in their living room, resting on the floor meaninglessly, but in a few days they’ll be testing the fit in the car.

In a few weeks, they’ll be settling the baby in the seat for the first time.

Happy stops short at the red light, surging back to the present. They’ll be driving their daughter home soon. She’ll be a parent soon.

For the first time, excitement outweighs the terror.

Happy gets home before Toby does, parking the car and grinning at her pretty, shiny new dashboard, before getting out when Toby parks next to her.

“Won’t be a nice new car for long,” Toby mentions, closing the door. “Cheerios and milk. Probably glitter glue. Everywhere.” He pats the car. “Not going to be long before this thing starts to look as destroyed as that truck of ours.”

“Mine,” Happy corrects. “The truck is mine. The soccer mom car is yours.”

“Is not!” Toby argues.

“You don’t even have a car,” Happy replies. “You can claim the soccer mom car.”

He pouts. “No cool truck?”

Happy shakes her head. “Nope. Remember? I’m the cool parent.”

Toby shrugs, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he walks with her into their apartment. “You’re definitely the cool one.”

He pushes the door open for her. “Also,” he says, “in the theme of baby preparation, I have a surprise for you.”

“You do?” Happy asks. “Should I be worried?”

“No!” Toby exclaims. “Just – come with me.”

Happy eyes him. “Okay.”

He pushes open the door to the nursery. “I was planning on showing you this a little while ago, but we got swept up in that case and,” he shrugs, “well, it seemed right to do it now.”

Happy looks into the partially completed nursery. She hasn’t been in here for a few days – almost a week – because of being so busy, but she had no idea what it would look like. Most of the furniture isn’t put together yet, but one thing is: the crib. It rests in the corner, covering Toby’s paint smudge, and it has beautiful bedsheets that match the walls. In the center of the crib, there’s something a brighter purple, folded on top.

“What did you do?”

Toby beams at her. “I built the crib,” he replies. “I couldn’t sleep the past few nights, so I put it together. It wasn’t that hard.”

“Okay,” Happy says. “You did? Without me?”

He nods. “I went all lumberjack.” He pulls her close. “Is that attractive or what?”

Happy ignores him except for wrapping an arm around his waist. “Where’d you get the sheets?”

“Paige,” he replies. “She found the paint sample on my desk and bought a bunch of matching linens.”

“And that?” Happy asks, looking inside the crib.

“That,” Toby says, picking it up with an unexpected gentleness, touching the fabric with a reverence, “is our daughter’s baby blanket.”

He rests it in her hands, and the first thing she realizes is that it’s not the cleanest sewing job. It’s done well, of course, clearly done with care. But the edges of the seams are unsteady and the stitches aren’t even.

“Wait,” Happy says, running her fingertips over the patch of purple in the dead center.

“Yeah,” says Toby. “When I was too tired to work on the crib, I’d work on the blanket.”

“You made this?” Happy replies.

Toby shrugs. “Mom taught me how to sew when I was five years old. I’m not great, but,” he runs his fingertips along the satin ribbon that lines the edges, “I think it looks okay.”

“It’s perfect,” Happy says, touching the purple. It’s her blanket, or what’s left of it, now the centerpiece of their child’s blanket. “Thanks, Toby.”

“No,” Toby says, “thank you. I would never have been able to be who I am without you.” He tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re everything I could have dreamed of, and somehow even more than that.”

Happy looks up. “Oh, you’re crying again.”

“I’m misty eyed,” Toby qualifies, “I’m not crying.”

“You’re crying,” Happy qualifies, but then she’s getting misty eyed, and she’s holding the blanket like a lifeline.

“No,” Toby replies. “You’re crying.”

Happy laughs, wiping her eyes, and she falls into Toby’s arms. “We’re having a freakin’ baby,” she laughs, feeling a little disbelieving.

“Yeah,” Toby says, wrapping his arms around her. “And she’s going to be great.”

“Holy fuck,” Happy says, her voice sounding a little distracted and high pitched. “Toby, we’re going to be parents.”

“Yeah, who let us be in charge?” Toby says.

They stand there, in the baby’s periwinkle nursery, holding each other quietly for a few minutes. Then the baby kicks.

“She’s apparently not okay with us being quiet,” Toby says.

“You felt that?” Happy asks.

“She’s strong,” Toby replies. “She kicked you, your belly bounced off mine.”

Happy laughs, burying her head in Toby’s chest. “This is going to be a wild freakin’ ride,” she says. “Things are crazy already and she’s not even here yet.”

Toby kisses her forehead. “Crazy,” he agrees, “but awesome.”


	13. Pregnancy, Week 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going out to dinner to celebrate the completion of the nursery, or "What happens when you give a couple geniuses alcohol."

“It’s done!” Toby says, his arms raised in triumph and the hammer in his hand narrowly missing the ceiling light. “The nursery is done!”

Happy checks all the screws in the furniture, makes sure all the decorations Toby put up with way too much excitement are anchored, but he’s right. The place looks ready for a baby. Decorations put up, her little purple and blue crib set in the corner with a mobile Happy made. Her changing table and dresser stand next to the closet. Happy’s decided not to worry about the closet. They’ll sort Paige’s clothing presents later.

“We did it,” Happy says, a little dumbfounded. She looks down. “And I’ve only gotten a little bit of furniture glue on your shirt.”

“What?!” Toby exclaims, scrambling to her. He runs his hands along her belly, like he’s trying to find the problem. “Wait. There’s no glue.”

Happy laughs as the baby does a little dance against Toby’s hands. “God, you’re fun to mess with. It’s your Harvard shirt. I wouldn’t get glue on your Harvard shirt.” She looks down. “I’m still astonished you let me wear it.”

“Only because our girl looks so damn cute in it,” Toby says. “Actually, I think she’s getting too big. Is it stretching out?”

Happy glares at him. “You really want to test these waters?”

He grins at her apologetically. “I love you.”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Anyway,” she redirects. “It’s actually done. Our kid’s room is set up.”

“Until Paige buys us more baby stuff, that is,” Toby says. “Because she’s going to.”

“I know,” Happy says. “She sent me this not-so-cryptic text about hypothetically buying a teddy bear snow outfit for the baby when she’s older.”

Toby turns up the music in the room. “She still kicking?”

“Yeah,” Happy replies. “She apparently really likes your classic rock station.”

Toby kneels down. “That is because you have outrageously good taste in music, baby girl.” He rests a hand on her belly. “Hey, she’s kicking to the beat.”

“No, she’s not,” Happy says. But she focuses for a second – it seems almost like she is, each kick matching a drum beat. “It’s got to be a coincidence.”

“Or she’s got the music in her,” Toby quips. Happy rolls her eyes.

“Oh, man,” Toby says, and Happy watches his eyes light up. “Melody.”

“What Melody?” Happy asks. “Because this is ACDC. Melody isn’t really their top priority.”

“For a name,” Toby clarifies. “Melody Grace.”

Happy considers it for a minute, and she feels an unexpected flutter in her heart at the sound. “Surprisingly, I really like that.”

Toby’s eyes widen. “As much as Laura?”

“Equal,” Happy replies.

Toby stands up. “So we have our options?” he asks. “Laura or Melody?”

She shrugs. “I mean, I don’t see any problem with either name. You still hate Laura?”

“I never hated Laura,” Toby says, “but it’s definitely grown on me.”

“So is that a yes or a no?” Happy asks. “Because we’re not naming our kid something you hate.”

“I like it!” Toby insists. “Laura Grace or Melody Grace. We’ll choose when we meet her.”

Happy grins. “We’ve got names.”

Toby takes her hand and starts spinning her in the room to the song. She loses her balance over and over again, unable to steady herself fully with this different body of hers. She’s not worried, though – Toby’s got a firm hold on her hand and she’s not expecting to fall.

She bumps into the rocking chair with the side of her belly, and the baby goes wild.

“I think we pissed her off again,” Happy says.

Toby rests a hand on the side of the bump, feeling around. “I’d be pissed too if you hit me in the ass with a chair.”

“How could you possibly know where I bumped her?” Happy asks.

“Because when she kicks,” Toby says, pressing lightly on the top of Happy’s belly. The baby kicks at the top of her belly. “See? She kicks up and backwards. She’s sitting weird.” He taps the side of Happy’s belly.

Happy frowns. “Is that bad?”

Toby shakes his head. “I don’t think so. She’ll move correctly when she needs to.”

“And how do you know this?”

“I have delivered one whole entire baby,” Toby explains. “And she was cute as hell, and healthy. I’m practically an expert.”

“While I got doused with lethal fungus,” Happy grumbles. “Why do you get to do the heroic stuff while I just nearly die?”

“That was heroic!” Toby argues, and the radio shifts songs to Queen’s _Somebody to Love._ “You saved the entire hospital!”

And then Toby starts doing a waltz while he sings along.

“You are not Freddie Mercury,” Happy says firmly as he twirls her.

Toby catches her in his arms and she begrudgingly lets him dip her. “You sure I don’t have the moves?” Toby asks. “Because I could be Freddie Mercury.”

“Could not,” Happy argues, doing her best to spin him despite the height difference. “I’m the one who pulls off leather in this relationship.”

Toby laughs. “And, damn, do you pull it off.”

He dances her around the apartment for the rest of the song, singing the song as he gazes at Happy.

“You have a terrible singing voice,” she mentions, trying not to smile too big. “But I’m okay with it.”

“Oh, that’s romantic,” Toby says, twirling her. “Hey, you know what we should do?”

“What?”

“We should go out to dinner,” Toby says, pulling her close. “The whole team. A celebration.”

“And what are we telling them we’re celebrating?” she asks.

“The name choices,” Toby says, “finishing the nursery.”

Happy shakes her. “Let’s keep the names to ourselves,” she suggests. “Just until she gets here. I don’t want everyone shouting their opinions at us and making us dislike one of the names.”

“Okay,” Toby agrees, “so celebration for finishing the nursery.”

“That sounds good,” Happy says. “Kovelsky’s.”

Toby scoffs. “That’s where we go for greasy brunch. We’re going somewhere nice.”

“Do we ever go somewhere nice?” Happy asks, looping her arms around his neck.

“No,” Toby replies. “That’s why we’re doing going somewhere fancy now.”

“Now-now?” Happy asks, stepping closer. She lets her fingertips trail down the sides of his arms.

Toby considers it. “I mean, not yet,” he says, and Happy’s damn near tickled at how oblivious he is right now, even as her fingertips start threading through his hair. “It’s not even four yet.”

“Because there are better things we could do right now,” she suggests.

He considers it. “We could get the kitchen sorted out.”

“Or?” Happy asks, her hands running along his neck.

“We could call people now,” Toby says. “I mean, heads up. Paige’ll need to get a babysitter.”

Happy groans. “Take the hint, Doc.”

He looks down at her. “Oh,” he says. “Right. That. Well, you do look good in my shirt,” he grins, leaning down to kiss her.

She grins against his lips as he pulls her close, and he spins her out of the baby’s room and into their bedroom.

“Want me to keep the shirt on?” Happy asks as she falls against the bed, pulling off her pants.

He practically dives on top of her, his lips on hers until they slide to her jaw. “You have the best ideas,” he murmurs, and the way his mouth moves against her pulse point is almost driving her insane.

She laughs, and it’s cut off by something between a gasp and a moan. “They don’t call me a genius for nothing.”

* * *

“I’d be mad about the seven hickeys if I hadn’t gotten a little overexcited with your back,” Happy says later that evening, trying to find an outfit that will both cover the marks Toby left all over her chest and fit her belly. “I’m going to have to break out the good concealer. It’s a good thing we timed it for seven instead of six.”

Toby peeks his head out. “They’re barely even red marks,” he argues.

“The hickeys?!” Happy exclaims, pulling at the collar. “They’re all purple-red. And even wearing the shirt, they’re all over the place.” She pulls off the shirt to show him. “I don’t even know how you did that.”

“I was talking about my back,” he says, grinning. “And I think you underestimate just how much I like seeing you in my clothes.”

“Uh, I definitely don’t,” Happy says, pulling on an admittedly cute purple maternity dress Paige had gotten for her the other day. “You think that thing with your robe the first night we slept together was a coincidence?”

“It wasn’t?”

Happy scoffs. “Please. Like I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Toby comes out of the bathroom looking surprisingly put together in a white button down.

“Okay, we’re not going that fancy,” Happy says. “Not that I mind.”

“It’s the only shirt that’s not too tight,” he says, frowning. “How are you the pregnant one but I’m the one not fitting into my clothes?”

“You think I am?” Happy replies. “I have to wear a bunch of dresses now that I can’t even get into my own pants.”

“Yeah,” he replies, missing her joke, “but you’re supposed to have a belly.” Toby pokes at his stomach. “I’m not.”

“Sympathy weight,” Happy suggests. “There’s probably some psych term for it, right?”

Toby pouts at her. “You’re the worst.”

She grins at him. “I’m the best.” She kisses him.

“When we get home, I’m buying those stupid P90X DVDs. That commercial always comes on when I’m eating.” He frowns. “It makes me feel so guilty.”

“Whatever you say, dear,” Happy says. “Now come on. She’s kicking up a storm because I’m hungry.”

Toby’s face breaks into a smile. “You know,” he says, “in a few weeks, she’ll be here, and when she’s hungry we’ll know because she’s screaming bloody murder.”

“I know you meant for that to be an adorable comment,” Happy replies, “but there’s nothing adorable about somebody screaming bloody murder.”

Toby kisses her forehead. “You say that now.”

They meet the rest of the team at the restaurant within the hour, and, as always, she and Toby are the last to arrive.

Except Cabe, who is a strange absence.

“Where's Pops?” Toby asks, looking around.

“Cabe had a last minute Homeland meeting,” Paige explains. “Something to do with the thing in Beijing.”

“They didn’t call us?” Toby asks.

Walter shrugs. “Apparently it’s something so classified even we can’t know. Which worries me.”

“Let’s stop thinking about that,” Sylvester says, “and get in the restaurant before we start talking work and get in the way of our grown up dinner.”

“Good plan, Sly,” Happy says. “The kid is losing her mind.”

It’s dinner for Happy and dinner and drinks for the rest, and before long Paige and Toby are getting goofy and arguing over who could pick up more people in a bar.

“You’re high!” Paige argues. “I’m a girl. I walk into a sports bar with a low cut shirt and boom. I win.”

“We never got into specifics,” Toby says. “Put me in a gay bar. I’ll flirt for twenty seconds and get thirty numbers.”

“Toby,” Happy says, patting his shoulder. “You’re getting dangerously close to making me tell that story about that one time –”

“No,” Toby says, looking startled. Happy grins.

“Well now you have to tell,” says Paige, looking eager.

Happy practically bounces out of her seat. “So, a couple weeks after Toby and Amy broke up –”

“Is this the time you two got really drunk and started a fire?” Paige asks. “Because I’ve heard that story and I love it.”

Happy shakes her head. “Only Walter knows this one.”

“Because he had to pick our drunk asses up,” Toby clarifies. “Happy got hit on by three hot girls and got so flustered she told all of them she was too tired.”

“I was tired!” Happy argues. She turns to Toby, feeling her meanest grin spread across her lips. “You made out with a guy and then cried on the drive home because you couldn’t read his handwriting.”

“He wrote his number on my hand,” Toby defends. “And I washed my hands in the bathroom and I was upset, okay?”

Sylvester laughs so hard he chokes on his water and Paige stops a forkful of lobster macaroni and cheese halfway to her mouth.

“No way,” Paige says. “That’s the greatest and most ridiculous thing I’ve ever had.”

“It’s not great when he’s sobbing in your back seat and singing _Rolling in the Deep_ at the top of his lungs,” Walter says, but there’s definitely a hint of a smile there.

“They enjoyed it way too much,” Toby says. “And I never did figure out his number.” He sighs. “I wonder how Jared’s doing now.”

“He still remembers the name,” Paige says, nodding at Happy. “I’d be worried.”

“Jared could never compete with Happy, because Happy knows to put a phone number in a goddamn cell phone,” Toby says. He leans over to kiss her cheek.

“And now you’re doing the PDA thing,” Happy says, leaning away.

Toby pouts. “No?”

Happy sighs. “No. At home.”

He lights up. “Works for me.”

They finish dinner, but none of them are ready to head home, so Happy volunteers to drive them to the bar they’ve gone to a few times on weekends when work is quiet.

“She’s the best,” Toby says, beaming at her. “You’re the best.”

“You’re being weird and you’ve only had two cocktails,” Happy says, staring at him. “Tonight’s going to be a problem.”

“It better be,” Paige says. “This is my first time out since Walter and I had that dinner and ended up going on that job in formal wear.”

“Well, you looked lovely in that dress,” Walter tells her, and Happy thinks it’s actually kind of adorable when Paige blushes and Walter takes her hand.

“Oh, so it’s okay that they’re being all cute,” Toby jokes.

“I mean,” Happy decides, “if you really want to, you can hold my hand.”

Toby looks so damn giddy it’s like he was just told Christmas was coming early. “Okay!”

Everything is a lot less adorable an hour later when Paige, Sylvester, Toby, and even Walter have taken a tequila shot or two, and Paige and Toby have decided on drinking together, which means each of them has had three hurricanes at this point even before the tequila shots.

“I want to dance,” Paige says.

“Count me in,” says Toby. “Literally. Happy?”

“Oh, you go,” she says. “I’ll just record you nerds dancing and show you tomorrow morning.”

“Maybe not,” Paige says, sliding back off the dance floor.

“Well if she’s not dancing, I’m not dancing,” Toby announces. “Will you dance with me?”

Happy’s about to say no until she realizes this is one of the last times they get to go out without a babysitter, and she wants to be able to say she’s tried everything before she has a kid.

“Sure,” she decides.

Toby lights up. “Awesome,” he says. “They’re playing Justin Bieber, though, so we’re waiting.”

“We are?” Happy asks. “That’s rather specific.”

“I hate the Biebs,” Toby says emphatically. “He is the worst.”

They end up on the dance floor when an older Beyoncé comes on that Toby knows every lyric to, and they dance around each other and everyone else to the music. Happy hardly notices when Paige drags Walter and Sylvester to dance too, because all Happy can think about is how she’s going to get to keep Toby for a long time, if not for the rest of her life. And they get to have a daughter, too.

It’s almost overwhelming how much she realizes she has in her heart after having closed it off for so long.

They dance for long enough that Happy’s back twinges and her feet get sore, so Toby pulls her off the dance floor and the rest of the team follows.

“You guys really broke it down out there,” Paige says.

Toby shrugs, looking unreasonably proud of himself. “I am a smooth dancer and a smooth talker. What can I say?”

He and Paige dart off for another drink, and Walter goes with, because, “They need a babysitter.”

Sylvester smiles at her. “I’m glad you guys are having a baby,” he says, his eyes brighter than usual after his two shots, even though it’s been some time.

“I am, too,” Happy replies, grinning at him.

“I just know you guys are going to be great parents,” Sylvester says. “I know I’ve said it before, but the two of you love each other so much that there’s no way you won’t love this baby more.” He rests his elbows on the table and his hands in his chin. “You’re going to be awesome.”

Happy smiles. “Thanks, Sly,” she says, letting him grab her hand.

Paige, Toby, and Walter stumble back.

“They made me chug a drink with them,” Walter says, wincing. “It’s less disgusting than I expected, but it’s too sweet.”

“It’s fruit punch with rum,” Paige says, clapping Walter on the shoulder. “It’s going to be sweet.”

“I just don’t want to be too intoxicated when I have to drive you all home,” Walter says.

“You had a tequila shot and a hurricane over an hour,” says Happy. “I think you’ll be good.”

Toby walks over to Happy with the dorkiest smile on his face. “I love,” Toby says, “you.” He kisses Happy. “And I love,” he taps her belly, “you.”

“Dude,” Happy says warily, “you’re really drunk.”

“I had four hurricanes and two shots of tequila,” Toby says, “in ninety minutes. I’m drinking for two tonight!”

Happy turns to Paige. “Why do we voluntarily date these idiots?”

Paige shrugs. “I’m a little too drunk to care. I’ve had as much as he has.”

Toby grins at her. “Drinking buddies!”

Paige laughs, and lights up as the music changes. “Oh, I love this song.”

Toby starts singing along to Katy Perry and, not unexpectedly, Paige joins in. Sly, in a move Happy envies, excuses himself to the bathroom as he winces at Toby’s attempt at hitting the high notes in Firework.

“Oh!” Paige says. “I have a great idea. Should we do karaoke?” She nods to the stage. “They said karaoke was going to start soon. We should kick it off.”

“Never,” Happy says, mildly horrified, “we should never do karaoke.”

“Did I hear karaoke?” Toby says. “Because I’ll do karaoke.”

“Oh, now you’ve done it,” Happy sighs.

It takes less than thirty seconds for Toby and Paige to get up to the DJ and request a song while Happy and Walter stare in shock.

“Is this going to happen?” Happy asks. “Is this seriously happening?”

“I think it is,” Walter says, and the utter confusion on his face is enough to make Happy laugh.

“Okay, nobody’s dying, Walt,” Happy says, trying not to laugh too hard at him. “It’s tragic and probably going to be embarrassing, but it’s not that bad.”

“I’m just not comfortable with watching other people embarrass themselves,” Walter mumbles.

Happy scoffs. “Well I am.” She whips out her phone. “Schadenfreude is my middle name.”

“I thought you didn’t have a middle name.”

Happy shoots a look over at Walter. “Roll with it, dude.”

Toby and Paige are in the middle of a clearly heated conversation.

“They going to kill each other or what?” Happy asks.

“That’s Paige’s argument face,” Walter says knowingly. “She’s going to win whatever battle this is.”

Happy shrugs. “You’re probably right.”

Sure enough, Toby slumps in defeat and Paige looks triumphant a few moments later.

“Oh, it’s going to be some terrible pop song, isn’t it?” Walter says warily.

Happy shakes her head. “Now, that’s what it would be if Toby had won. He’s on a big Fifth Harmony kick lately in between all the classic rock. It’s weird.”

“Paige made me listen to One Direction,” Walter says. He looks fairly disgusted. “They are vocally talented but aurally displeasing.”

“Don’t tell that to Ralph,” Happy says. “He listens to their first album on repeat.”

“He does?”

Happy frowns. “I don’t think I was supposed to mention that.”

Walter moves to speak, but when they hear Sly calling their names, they look behind them.

“What’d I miss?” Sly asks, looking bewildered. “Why are they onstage?”

“You were gone for five minutes,” Happy says. “Five minutes and it all went to chaos.”

“Meaning?”

“Karaoke,” Walter says. “Karaoke is happening.” He nods up to the stage, and Sly frowns.

“Alcohol was a terrible idea,” he says Sly. “Always is. Always will be.”

Happy shrugs. “I’m going to record it so we can make fun of them in the morning.”

Sly lights up. “Well that could be interesting.”

“Hey! Hey guys!” shouts Toby from the stage. “Guys, we’re singing!” He’s somehow acquired a pink feather boa, while Paige is wearing a neon green one.

“This oughta be good,” Happy says. She hits record.

And immediately the bar is hit with a poor and rather painful rendition of _I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore_ from Toby until Paige takes over.

“At least yours can sing,” Happy shouts of Paige’s singing.

“That’s generous,” Walter replies.

Toby starts singing again.

“Is he trying to make our ears bleed?” Sylvester asks, sounding pained.

“I think this is him trying his best,” Happy says, wincing. “This recording is going to be painful.”

Toby starts headbanging a little gracelessly as Paige takes over and, thankfully, belts some of the higher notes.

The finale consists of the two of them singing together, and Paige wincing at Toby’s voice as he screams directly in her ear.

“Thank you,” Toby says to the stunned audience, practically skipping off the stage. “Thank you, we’ll be here all week.”

“No, we won’t,” Paige argues.

They make their way over to Sylvester, Walter, and Happy with giant grins on their faces.

“That was very fun,” Toby says authoritatively. He points to himself, then to Happy. “We should do that.”

“Me?” Happy asks. “How much did you drink to think that was a good idea?”

“Four hurricanes and a shot of –”

Happy covers his mouth with her hand. “Cool it.”

He nods, and she moves her hand. “I’m cool.”

She grins up at him. “You were terrible.”

“We were great!” Toby argues. “Like, fantastic.”

“Paige was great,” Walter argues, talking Paige’s hand when she offers it. “You were mediocre.”

“And even that’s giving you more credit than you should get,” Happy says.

“Hey,” Toby says, pointing at Happy. He breaks into a smile. “You’re pretty.”

Happy stares at him. “Wow.”

“I don’t even know what we’re arguing about,” Toby says, his arms in the air. “All I know is that I’m drunk and you’re pretty. Also,” he says, “my hat is wonderful.”

“Keep in mind,” Paige says, “that kid of yours is half him.”

“The thought haunts me daily,” Happy says, resting her hands on her belly. The baby’s been quiet all day, and Happy’s pretty sure she fell asleep way before Toby started singing. Lucky.

“We should probably all head home,” Sylvester says pointedly. “We have had more than enough alcohol in our systems for one night.”

“Sylvester, you had two shots of tequila,” Happy says.

He nods. “And it was more than enough, and I’m ready to go home.” He looks around. “This place is gross.”

Paige shrugs. “He’s got a point.”

Happy crams everybody in the back of the van, ignoring protests that they can sit in the front seat.

“No, you can’t,” Happy argues, “because you’re all being annoying and nobody’s allowed to fuck with my music when I’m driving.”

“Okay, Mom,” says Sylvester.

The car goes dead silent as Happy turns around in the front seat. “What did you just say?”

“I regret opening my mouth,” Sylvester says, looking horrified at his own words.

“She’s got her scary face on,” Toby says. “We need to all shut up right now.”

“For once,” Happy says, “the doctor is right. Buckle up – it’s two in the morning in LA and I’m going to drive like a maniac.”

“That’s what you want to hear,” Paige mutters.

Happy drives like a speed demon in the van until she gets to the restaurant where the other cars were parked, where the lights are off. The whole team ignores the darkness and walks to their cars.

“Walter,” Happy says, “don’t let either of them drive.”

“I know what I’m doing,” Walter insists.

She nods. “Goodnight, guys.”

“Have a wonderful evening!” Toby exclaims. He holds out his hand to Paige, and when she settles it in his palm, he kisses the back of her hand. “As always, a brilliant singer and an even better drinking partner.”

“Is he serious right now?” Paige asks, laughing. She’s better at holding it together than Toby is, but the light in her eyes makes it clear she’s feeling more than she’s letting on.

“No,” Happy replies. “He’s drunk.”

Happy counts the number of songs Toby sings along to with incorrect lyrics as they drive. It’s up to six by the time they’re pulling into the parking lot of their apartment complex and he’s practically screaming, “Hold me closer, Tony Danza!”

“It’s ‘tiny dancer,’” Happy replies, throwing the car in park. “God, you’re weird.”

“Misheard lyrics are better than the real ones,” he says.

Happy turns to him. “Not even remotely.”

“My rendition of any Panic! at the Disco song is great,” Toby argues. “There’s a thing about squirtle.”

“Squirtle?” Happy asks, staring at him in shock. “That sounds dirty.”

“It’s not dirty,” Toby says, opening the car door. “It’s a Pokemon. But yeah. It does sound dirty.” He grins at her. “It’s my favorite Pokemon because it sounds dirty.”

“You would,” Happy replies. They walk into the apartment complex, and for the first time Happy realizes that, despite not drinking, she still smells like tequila. “I need to shower off the smell of bar.”

“You smell fine,” Toby says.

“That’s because you smell like alcohol and your nostrils are burnt out by tequila,” Happy says as they push the door open.

Toby’s lips go for her neck when they get into the apartment, and it’s all Happy can do to say, “You’re too damn drunk," she says, but to soften it she adds, "honey.”

“I like nicknames,” Toby says. “And you’re right. I’ll be surprised if I can stay awake much longer.” Even so, he kisses her for a few seconds, tasting like tequila. “But I like kissing you.”

She kisses him lightly. “Goodnight. I’ll be back.”

He giggles as he collapses onto their bed. “Okay, Terminator.”

Her shower is quick, because she’s too tired to stay up, but she hears something strange when she turns off the water. When she walks out of the bathroom, wrapped in Toby’s robe, she sees Toby laying on the bed, singing at the top of his lungs.

“Oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz,” he warbles.

“Toby, what are you doing?”

“Happy!” he exclaims, turning toward her. “You’re back!”

“I went to shower, not to the moon,” she says, tying his robe around more tightly around her waist. “Were you seriously singing Janis Joplin?”

He nods. “It’s a good song, Happy,” he insists. “We’re teaching our baby that song on, like, day one.”

“I think I’ll be busy recovering,” Happy quips. “Now get changed. I’m tired.”

“Right,” Toby says, standing up. He promptly loses his balance and flops back on the bed. “I’m going to need to try that again.”

Happy can’t keep herself from laughing. “This is the most entertaining you’ve ever been drunk.”

“Really?” Toby asks. “Because I was hilarious the night Amy dumped me.”

“No, you were pathetic,” Happy corrects. “For good reason. Maybe pitiful is the right word.”

He looks at her suddenly, his eyes sad. “You’re not going to end it for a stupid reason like stamps, are you?”

“I don’t plan on ending it ever,” Happy replies. It comes out before she thinks about what she’s said, and she realizes she means it.

Toby beams at her. “I love you more than anything,” he sighs.

“I love you too,” Happy replies. “Put on your pajamas – I’m too pregnant to deal with your bullshit.”

Toby stands up, the grin only growing. “You’re having my baby,” he says, too giddy. “You’re my girlfriend and that’s my baby.”

“Sure as hell hope so,” Happy says, looking up at him. “Otherwise there would be a lot to explain.”

Toby beams. “That night was fun.”

“Tonight?” Happy asks, sitting down on her side of the bed. “Yeah, it was.”

“No,” Toby insists. “The night you got pregnant.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “We should do that again.”

“Not for another few months,” Happy says. “Also, I’m not sure I want to try New Year’s Eve like that ever again.”

Toby laughs. “Yeah, we had a lot of alcohol that night.”

Happy stands. “We did.”

“And then we passed out in the living room.” He takes her hand and pulls her so she’s standing.

“We did.”

Toby grins, wrapping his arms around her waist. “And then we woke up, miraculously not hung over, four hours later, right before midnight, and,” he looks down. “Baby.”

“And baby,” Happy agrees. She watches him blink a couple of times, his head dropping. “You okay?”

He nods. “I’m just way wasted.”

Happy pats him on the cheek. “I can tell, Doc.” She stands on her toes to kiss him. “Now go get changed before I walk in on you singing Tina Turner or something.”

“I’d be more likely to go for Gloria Gaynor,” Toby clarifies.

“Whatever,” Happy says, “go get dressed.”

Toby nods, kissing her forehead. “I’m so lucky I have you.”

“Yes, you are,” Happy agrees.

He rests his hands on her belly. “I love you,” he says, the smile making him look younger than Happy’s seen in ages.

“We’ve done this already,” Happy says.

Toby shrugs. “Just want to hear you say it.”

“If I say it will you get changed?” Happy asks, because she’s getting tired and this is getting old.

Toby nods.

“I love you,” Happy says.

Toby kisses her cheek and changes, and Happy’s half asleep when Toby wraps his arms around her.

“If you get sick, don’t get sick on me,” Happy mumbles.

“Deal,” says Toby. “But I’m not going to be sick.”

* * *

Happy wakes up around nine in the morning to hear Toby groaning in the bathroom.

“You okay?” Happy asks, sitting up. The baby is settled right on her bladder.

“Just – can’t drink four hurricanes and a –”

“ – and two shots of tequila?” Happy asks.

“You got it.” He groans again. “Did I really do karaoke?”

“Yup,” Happy replies. She stands up, and the baby shifts. “Also, microbladder coming through.”

“Gotcha,” Toby says. When she walks into the bathroom, Toby’s sitting with his forehead against their cabinets. “Never let me drink again.”

“You do whatever the hell you want,” Happy says. “But I’d suggest you get in the shower. You’ll feel better.”

He nods, getting up. “Good idea.” He frowns. “In a minute.”

He darts out of the bathroom and Happy’s pretty sure he’s losing his cookies in their kitchen trash.

She’s oddly charmed that he let her use the bathroom even when he was hurling.

She leaves and checks on him. “You know, you’re not going to be able to be the one throwing up all over the place soon,” Happy says, leaning against the fridge.

“One last night of stupid moves,” he says like a promise. “And I’m not doing this again for a while.”

“Okay, at least once after she gets here,” Happy says, patting the top of her belly. “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to need a whiskey on the rocks when she’s born.” She thinks about it. “Or one of those margaritas from Mi Jalisco’s.”

“Noted,” Toby replies.

Happy nods to the bathroom. “Now go take a shower. You look like death.”

He nods. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Any time,” she says, “dope.”

Happy gets dressed and tries not to let her back hurt too much. The baby shifts pretty frequently in her sleep, and she feels pretty lucky to be sleeping at least a little bit, but at the same time it’s starting to get painful.

And, she notes when she looks down and can’t see her feet, she’s starting to feel like a bowling ball.

“You better be cute,” she grumbles at the baby.

Toby’s phone rings, and she picks it up. “Yeah.”

“We’ve got a case,” Walter says.

Happy barks out a laugh. “Oh, you can’t be serious.”

“I am most certainly serious,” Walter replies, sounding confused. “Why would you say that?”

“Because Toby’s hungover as fuck and spent the whole night hurling.” She sighs. “This should be good. How’s Paige?”

There’s a pause on the line. “She informed me that I’m not allowed to comment on her appearance or the fact that she threw up in the trash can.”

Happy snorts. “I’m so excited to see her and Toby together right now.”

“Be here by ten thirty,” Walter says.

“I’ll give it my best shot,” Happy says.

She peeks her head into the bathroom. “Hey, Doc,” she calls, “got a case. You have forty-five minutes before we need to go.”

She thinks what she’s hearing could be Toby crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should expect by now that I'll always eventually do a karaoke scene.


	14. Pregnancy, Week 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family's a big word.

“Tell me there’s no case,” Happy groans as the phone rings. She pushes at Toby’s shoulder. “You get it.”

“Happy, you’re dreaming,” Toby says.

Happy’s eyes open. “What?”

“You just started hitting me and saying, ‘No phone!’ over and over again,” Toby explains. “It’s four in the morning.”

Happy shifts, and it’s still dark. “It is?”

Toby nods. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Happy replies, settling back in bed. She cuddles up next to Toby, her head on his chest. “I can’t believe I’m dreaming about getting work calls. That’s disturbing.”

Toby laughs, wrapping his arms around her. “Well, that happens during pregnancy.”

“Work calls?”

“Weird dreams,” Toby corrects. “Have any other ones lately?”

Happy tries not to laugh. “Well, different kinds of weird,” she admits.

“Oh, like sexy dreams?” Toby asks. “Am I in them?”

Happy pokes him in the stomach. “Maybe.”

He runs his fingertips along her arm. “Am I at least good in them?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Happy replies. “If you weren’t any good, I wouldn’t have ended up pregnant.”

“Well that’s real life me,” Toby says. “What about dream me?”

“Dream you is okay,” Happy replies. “But you’re better.”

He kisses the top of her head. “I’ll take that as compliment.”

She feels herself dozing off. “We really need a break from this,” she mumbles. “Work, I mean. Maybe one day where I won’t wake up convinced I’ll be off to the garage in fifteen minutes.”

“Soon,” Toby replies. “Someplace nice. Maybe Disney World!”

Happy rolls her eyes. “You’d never get me off the monorail.”

“Is that a yes?” he asks, sounding giddy. “I went once – I was probably four.”

“It’s a maybe,” Happy replies. “Right now the most magical place in the world is –”

“ – when you’re in my arms?” Toby finishes.

Happy groans. “I was going to say wherever I could sleep,” she says. “But if it makes you happy.”

“It does,” he replies. “Goodnight, Hap.”

“Night, dope.”

* * *

She wakes up wrapped around Toby hours later, and she realizes that she never woke up to her alarm.

Then again, she never got a call from work. So she considers that a win.

She sighs as she snuggles against Toby, the air conditioning in the room turning the August heat into pleasant temperatures. It’s cool enough that being this close is nice and not sweltering, and she decides just to take the time to pretend she isn’t awake, just so she can hold him close. It’s not going to be long before the baby comes, before she and Toby won’t have time to be silent with each other for much longer.

It’s a while before Toby wakes up.

“Morning, Doc,” Happy says when she feels his hand tighten against her shoulder.

“Hey,” he grumbles, rubbing his face with his free hand. “We miss the alarm?”

“Yeah,” she replies, “but we haven’t gotten any emergency phone calls, so I’m not too worried about it.”

Toby pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “In that case, you’re staying right here with me.”

They’re silent, and there’s something about the way Toby’s learned that words aren’t always necessary that makes her incredibly happy. For years he spoke when she couldn’t take it, used too many words when she needed silence.

And somewhere along the line, he learned. He learned that talking makes it worse for her, that she can’t handle that much conversation when all she wants to do is zone out.

His fingertips trail along her arm gently, sending little shivers up her spine.

“How are my girls today?” he asks quietly.

“We’re good,” Happy replies, patting her belly. “I think she’s still asleep, miraculously.”

Toby’s quiet for a minute.

“You thinking about anything?”

“Just trying to convince myself that this is real,” he replies. “We’re having a baby.”

“That’s definitely real,” Happy says. “If you have any questions about that, ask my bladder.”

Toby laughs and kisses her temple. “You feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” she says. “I’m kind of done being pregnant, though.” She stretches out her back a little, feeling familiar twinges spring along her muscles. “This shit hurts.”

Toby laughs. “Nearly there, love. You’re more than thirty weeks in.”

“This baby better be cute,” Happy sighs. She rolls onto her back, just to get a look at how huge she’s gotten. “Look at this. I’m growing a human. This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous.”

Toby sits up and presses a kiss to her belly. “I think you’re beautiful,” he announces, running his hand along her belly. “And I’m really proud of you.”

“Why?” Happy asks. “I haven’t actually done anything yet.”

“Yes, you have,” Toby says. “You just said it. You’re growing a human.”

“Women do this every day,” Happy says.

“And that’s ridiculous,” Toby says, settling on his stomach next to her. “I still can’t believe how amazing it is. You’re amazing.”

Happy can’t hold eye contact when he’s looking at her like this, and she’s doesn’t know what to say.

“I’ll stop talking,” Toby says gently. “But before I do, can I kiss you?”

“You can always kiss me,” Happy replies.

Toby leans in and presses a soft, slow kiss to her lips, and when he pulls away, Happy feels butterflies. She doesn’t know how she stills feels this with Toby, how things are still exciting and new and wonderful. But she’s glad she does.

“I love you,” Happy says, smiling at him.

He turns back to her. “Have I ever told you how much I love it when you say it first?”

“No.”

“Well,” Toby says, darting back to the bed and kissing her forehead. “I do. I’m going to jump in the shower before Walter calls us and demands that we come into work.”

“Good deal,” Happy replies. “I’ll make breakfast.”

Toby pauses. “You are the perfect woman.”

“Yeah,” Happy replies. “You haven’t realized this yet?”

“I have,” Toby replies. “I just love it when I get reminded.”

Happy takes a million years to stand, steals the bathroom from Toby while he’s grabbing a towel for laundry, and then sneaks another kiss as they pass in the hallway.

“I’m making egg sandwiches,” Happy announces. “Because it’s not waffle day.”

“Good deal,” Toby says, nodding. “Waffle day is for special days. Today’s just a rather boring Tuesday.”

Happy shoots him a grin.

But the idea of breakfast is rather quickly lost when she sees something hanging half out of the fruit bowl that they need to refill soon.

On closer examination, Happy realizes it’s an invitation to something written and printed in absurdly bright colors.

Happy picks up the invitation from the table.

“Hey, Toby,” she calls. “There’s a neon yellow and orange letter for you that got stuck in the fruit bowl. Which is weird.”

He’s yawning as he walks out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and Happy watches him ruffle his hair.

“You have really bad bed head,” Happy says, unable to keep away her smile.

“You love it,” Toby insists. He’s not wrong. “What’s this about a letter?”

Happy wiggles it at him. “The Curtis Family reunion,” she reads. “It says –” she sucks in air sharply as the baby moves and nails her right in what she thinks is a vital organ.

“You okay?” Toby asks, looking concerned.

Happy nods. “Your daughter just woke up and decided doing the Macarena 24/7 is a good way to start the day,” she explains. “Go back to the letter.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t even want to think about it,” he says. “It’s been too long.”

Happy leans against the counter, sure to take up enough space to let him know he’s not getting out of this conversation. “How long?” she asks.

Toby looks down at the floor. “Five years.”

“Oh,” Happy says quietly.

“When my dad died, I just stopped seeing everybody,” he continues. “Knowing he drank himself to death and I was gambling myself away,” he shrugs. “It felt too much like I was living up to the disappointment.”

Happy considers it for a minute. “Except, now you’re not.”

“What?”

“Have you gambled in the past twenty-one weeks?” Happy asks.

Toby shakes his head.

“How about since that,” she pauses, searching for words, “that one relapse last November.”

Toby shakes his head again. “And I’m still really –”

“Nope, you don’t need to apologize,” Happy says, holding up her hand. “That’s over with. Have you done anything absurdly stupid recently?”

“Counting New Year’s Eve?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Happy snorts. “Okay, point taken. But it was a good stupid thing. Plus, babies are an automatic good thing to big families, right?”

“My family would get weird, knowing we’re not married,” Toby says. Happy frowns. “I’m not saying I feel weird,” he insists. “They’re just weird about things like that.”

“Stop saying ‘weird’ so much,” Happy says, smiling at him. “But I know what you’re saying.”

“I just don’t want them to get in the way of what we have,” Toby says quietly. He rests his hand on her belly.

“I know,” says Happy. “But spending so much of my life knowing I had a family out there I didn’t know…it was terrible.” She finds herself mindlessly running her hand on her belly until she reaches Toby’s hand. She links their fingers. “I don’t want her to go through that. Ever.”

Toby looks at her for a moment. “Would you be okay with going?” he asks. “I mean, you want to go?”

Happy nods. “If you do.”

“Then we’ll go,” Toby says. “Because I agree. Just because I have some problems with them doesn’t mean our girl has to suffer for it.”

Happy stands on her toes and kisses his forehead, something she can’t often do because the dork is so damned tall. “Thanks.”

He smiles at her. “Anything for you two. You know that.” He leans in and kisses her softly like a promise. “And besides,” he adds, “I have some people that I haven’t seen in a while that I really miss.”

“Like who?” Happy asks.

“Cousins,” Toby replies. “My dad was second oldest of six siblings, so I have a lot of cousins who have terrible parents. Some of those cousins grew up to be as terrible as their parents. A few didn’t.” He frowns. “At least, I hope not.”

“There’s another question we have to answer,” Happy says, nodding over to the card. “How we’re going to get there.”

“Oh, my dad’s family is in northern California,” he says. “My mom was the one in New York. My dad relocated there for her. So we can drive to the city of the reunion the night before, stay at a hotel,” he wiggles his eyebrows, “and then hang out for the day.”

“Sounds good,” Happy replies. “By the way, that’s on Sunday.”

“What?!” Toby exclaims, grabbing the card. “Okay, so we need to take two days off of work with zero notice. Not like Walter’s going to kill us or anything.”

“You’re the one who stuck the card in the fruit bowl,” Happy replies.

When they explain the situation to the team the next day, Walter’s reluctant but gives in when Cabe and Paige simultaneously punch him in either arm.

“We will see you Monday morning then,” he says, skeptical as if he doesn’t plan on them coming back.

“Oh, cool your jets, Walt,” Happy says. “We’ll be back. But we’ll be gone the entire weekend.”

“Maybe into Monday,” Toby clarifies, nodding at Happy. “It’s a pretty long drive.”

“Let’s hope we don’t have to get anything done in the next five days,” Paige says. “So we’ll finish up the little jobs now,” she adds pointedly. “Good deal?”

Toby nods. “I am off to complete some peer reviews so that I can get paid.” He grins. “Sometimes I do something with my medical degree.”

“I didn’t even graduate high school and we have the same job, jackass,” Happy says with a too-sweet grin. “Stop patting yourself on the back.”

“Stop doing the asshole thing.”

“Stop being a jackass.”

Happy kisses him, and they realize the entire team is watching them.

“How did you get more antagonistic when you got pregnant?” Walter asks.

“Not antagonistic,” Happy corrects. “Just. Snarky.”

“And I’ve already told you,” Toby says, “I’m only antagonistic –”

“That joke stopped being funny a year ago, Toby,” Paige says with a sigh. “Let it go.”

The next few days are mercifully mellow, and Happy has mastered the art of working at her tool bench sideways so that the baby doesn’t get in the way.

Friday night they say goodnight to the team and plan on going to bed early, but Happy gets unreasonably involved in a game of Sudoku and decides she can’t sleep until she wins.

“Happy, go to bed,” Toby groans, cramming a pillow over his face. “I love you, but we have to be up early tomorrow and if I don’t sleep you’ll be driving eight hours up on your own.”

“Is that a bad thing?” she asks, filling in a box. “Because I’m pretty sure that I’m better in traffic than you are.”

“I don’t disagree,” Toby replies. “I just think you’re going to want to sleep in the car. Plus, the area’s pretty. The reunion’s right outside the Mendocino National Forest, so I want to have time to look around.”

“Then sleep,” Happy replies. “I’m not stopping you.”

He moves the pillow and gives her this incredulous look. “Sweetheart,” he says carefully, “you talk to yourself when you do puzzles. You know that, right?”

“I don’t talk to myself,” she argues.

He smiles at her. “Oh, honey.”

“I talk to myself when I work?” she asks. “No way. Walter would have said something.”

“Not when you work,” Toby says. “When you do paper and pencil things. It’s usually adorable. But not when I’m trying to sleep.”

Happy stares at him. “I do not.”

“You do,” he says, amused smile on his lips. “You should record yourself doing crossword puzzles. You make fun of the people who write them.”

“I thought that was just in my head,” Happy says, frowning. She puts down the book of puzzles and turns out the light. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Toby asks.

Happy snuggles next to him in bed, the baby for once in a comfortable position. “Yeah,” she replies. “Time to sleep.”

“Really?” Toby asks. She can’t make out his face in the darkness, but he pulls her in close to him. “That was easy.”

“Didn’t want to keep you up too late,” Happy replies. “Plus, the last thing I want is to spend eight hours in a car with someone I pissed off the night before.”

Toby laughs and kisses her shoulder. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“And you’re not going to hate me if my family is terrible to you, right?” Toby asks a few moments later. Happy had thought he’d fallen asleep.

“Are they really that bad?” she asks.

“They used to be,” Toby replies. “I can’t guarantee anything now, but I know they used to be terrible.”

“Well, I’m carrying the next generation of Curtis children,” Happy replies. “They better be nice to me.”

Toby kisses her shoulder. “And if they aren’t,” he promises, “I’ll kick their asses.”

“Toby, come on,” she laughs, “I think I could kick people’s asses better pregnant than you could on a good day.”

“I was a recreational boxer,” Toby argues. “I can fight.”

“You got knocked out in about three seconds,” Happy replies, deadpan. “You can try.”

“And damn right I will.”

* * *

“Toby, you can’t rely on the GPS!” Happy exclaims. “Get out the map.”

“I don’t get maps!” Toby replies. “My phone’s fine.”

“Yeah, but I feel more comfortable checking in with the actual paper,” she replies.

“When did you become a Luddite?”

Happy glances over at him to see him half trapped in a massive map of California, which is basically worth the argument. “Since I saw how dorky you look stuck in a map.”

“It’s a really big map, Happy. And I don’t have your visual-perceptual integration. You understand maps like I understand people.” She looks over again to see him grinning at her. “It was a compliment.”

“Thanks, but seriously, get the map together,” Happy demands. “I want to make sure there’s a visual that isn’t Siri yelling at us.”

“I don’t have Siri,” Toby replies. “I have generic GPS voice.” It speaks, telling Happy to take an exit in two miles. “I call her Stephanie.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Why do I date you?”

“Because you’re carrying my daughter and you’re the love of my life?” Toby suggests.

“Yeah, well,” Happy says with a tiny grin, “you’re not wrong.”

The next four hours are rather uneventful, mostly Toby singing random song lyrics and making Happy guess what song it is despite the fact that he’s completely tone deaf, and eventually, at six in the evening after an unreasonable ten hours in the car after traffic, they pull into the Marriot.

“Can we afford this place?” Happy asks, a little astonished.

“You seem to forget that we have enough money to do what we want now,” Toby says. “Also, one night. It’s, like, two hundred dollars a night for all three of us. We’re good.”

“Three?” Happy asks.

“I’m counting her,” Toby says, nodding at her belly. “Because she’s totally in the way. Like, all the time.”

Happy nods, but interrupts with a yawn. “Actually, is there a pool here?”

“A pool?”

Happy nods. “Apparently swimming is good for back pain. And I’m pregnant, which is another thing swimming is good for.” She shrugs, sliding out of the car. “Also, I want to swim.”

“I think there’s an indoor pool,” Toby says.

Happy grins. “Even better.”

The concierge, after seeing Happy’s pregnant belly, insists on bringing them up to a larger room and carrying her bags up.

“Really, you don’t have to –” Happy begins, but he’s halfway to the elevator before she can even finish her sentence.

“Only ten more weeks until you don’t get this kind of treatment anymore,” Toby says. “Let them be nice to you.”

“It’s weird,” Happy says.

“You know what else is weird?” Toby says, stepping into the elevator. “The fact that anyone would be willing to carry a human being for nine months and the give birth to them. That’s amazing. And women do it all the time and don’t get enough respect for it. Let people be nice to you.”

The concierge, a shorter guy with a mildly hilarious mustache, nods. “He’s right, you know.”

“Is there an indoor pool?” Toby asks the concierge.

He nods. “First floor. You have extra towels in your room, so you can just bring those down to the pool and leave them when you’re done.”

“Awesome,” Toby says. He turns to Happy. “First move? Pool.”

They dump their things, change, and Happy immediately gets uncomfortable looking at the bathing suit she brought.

“Why,” she says, in mild horror, “did I think bringing a black bikini to a family reunion was a good idea?”

“You’re going to look beautiful,” Toby says. He rests his hands on her belly. “Plus, if you want, I brought an extra undershirt in case you wanted to put it over the bathing suit.”

Happy turns to him. “Seriously?”

He nods. “I figured you might be a little uncomfortable.”

Happy stands on her tiptoes and kisses him hard enough to get the point across. “You’re the best,” she says. “Keep this up when the baby comes and you could win boyfriend of the year award.”

“I thought I won that the time I spent two hours going down on you that one night,” Toby asks, grinning.

“Well, yeah,” Happy says. “Six orgasms in one night will make you say crazy things. But you know what I mean.”

Happy takes a few moments to figure out exactly how to float with another human being in her body, and Toby, to his credit, only laughs a little bit when she ends up losing her balance and half drowning.

He grabs her and helps her stand.

“You look good in my clothes,” he jokes.

“I’d try to dunk you right now if you weren’t so tall and if I weren’t so pregnant,” Happy says. “Just wanted to make that clear.”

Toby nods. “Got it. I can lose my balance and make it easier for you, if you want.”

“Too easy,” Happy says. “All or nothing.”

They spend too much time in the pool, waiting until one of them reaches the point of exhaustion where they can’t fake energy anymore. It’s Toby, somehow, draping himself dramatically over the side of the pool and whining about being sleepy.

“Alright, let’s go upstairs, you whiner,” Happy says back. She pulls the shirt off over her head and replaces it with a towel.

Toby’s staring.

“What are you looking at, weirdo?” Happy asks, grinning.

“Our kid is just,” he sighs. “Our baby is getting really big. She’s going to be here soon.” He kisses her quickly, forehead to cheek to land finally on her lips. “Okay, you are all chlorine-tasting, but the sentiment stands.”

A quick shower in their hotel room and a change of clothes, and the two of them collapse into the hotel bed. Happy actually moans when she feels the mattress.

“Damn,” she says. “This thing’s comfortable. I love this bed.” She turns to Toby. “Why don’t we have a bed this nice?”

“Because we have a baby on the way, and she gets the nice things,” Toby explains. “But we get her, so I think it evens out.”

Happy reaches up and turns off the light. “You’ve got a point.” She turns her head to kiss Toby goodnight.

“Sleep well, sweetheart,” Toby says, pressing his lips to her shoulder.

She means to tell him goodnight, but she falls asleep first.


	15. Pregnancy, Week 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy mother of god, is family a big word.

Happy wakes up to the sound of the shower and of Toby shrieking.

She pushes herself up to sitting, her back feeling achy in a brand new way.

“Oh, god,” she groans, “you can’t get here soon enough.”

Toby darts out of the bathroom, stark naked, his whole body bright red.

“Happy, just wanted to let you know –”

“That you’re naked?” Happy interrupts. “Because that’s fairly obvious.”

“Not that,” Toby says. “Just. The water is extremely hot. Watch out.”

“Got it,” she replies. “Now stop screeching. I’m sleeping.”

He shoots her an apologetic grin before returning to the shower, but Happy’s already awake.

She takes the time to pat at her belly and wake the baby up, just because she knows that it’s going to be chaos at the reunion if the baby’s kicking and everyone wants to feel.

“Here’s the thing, tiny,” she says. “Don’t be too cute today. I want this to go fast and seamless.” She pauses. “But make a good impression on the old people. They’re the ones who might actually like us. Anyone who is our age, I don’t really care about.”

She takes a deep breath. “Maybe this was a bad idea, kid.”

Toby leaves the shower with a towel around his waist, smiling at her in that way of his.

“Hi,” Toby says. He leans down to kiss her gently. “Do you want to head out around 8:15?”

Happy nods. “What time is it?”

“Five thirty.”

She glares at him. “You woke me up at five thirty?!”

“I didn’t think you were going to wake up!” Toby replies.

Happy sits up and glares at him. “You screamed in the shower.”

“I didn’t think I was going to scream in the shower,” Toby says, but he starts to pout. “But I’m sorry.”

Happy sighs, swinging her legs out of bed. “When does this all start?”

“We’re doing brunch at the function hall at 9 in the morning and then we’ll be back to my Aunt Lucy’s house at 1 in the afternoon.”

Happy sighs, trying to remind herself that this is a good thing, that it was her idea. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

Between showering, getting dressed, getting quick snacks at the continental breakfast at the hotel, and driving to the function hall, it’s 9:05 when they pull into the parking lot, and Happy is trying not to be too pleased about her timing.

Toby’s been jittery the whole drive despite Happy’s more lighthearted attitude after getting danishes for breakfast.

“You’re okay, right?” Happy asks. “Because you’re all weird right now.”

Toby nods. “I’m fine. Just,” he bounces his knee even harder, “nervous.”

“Why?” Happy asks, resting her hand on her belly when the baby decides one of her internal organs is a soccer ball.

“They’re crazy,” Toby adds. “Like, worse than I am. And - I just want to clarify,” Toby says, “this is your idea. You want to go to this absurd family reunion. This is your choice.”

“Yes, it’s my choice,” Happy says, looking at him. “What is with you?”

“I just don’t want them to do anything to upset you.”

Happy sighs and turns to him. “Toby, if you think these people can mess with me, you’re delusional.”

“I’m not,” Toby says, almost darkly, “I just know these people enough.”

Happy rolls her eyes, and it takes a minute to turn her belly past the steering wheel and out to the door.

And there’s Toby, holding out his hand to her.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Helping you out of the car,” Toby explains.

“It’s not the truck,” Happy says, batting away his hand and standing. “I can get out on my own.”

Toby pouts. “So I wanted to help you out of a car, so sue me.”

“I’d rather not,” Happy says, rolling her eyes, “I’d just be suing myself.” She rests her hand on her belly, the baby kicking and moving like she’s running a marathon.

“She okay?” Toby asks, looking mildly concerned.

Happy nods. “She’s just apparently really into whatever music is playing in her own head right now.”

“She’s probably got your ridiculous angst pop stuck in her head,” Toby mutters, “I know I do.”

Happy punches him in the arm. “It’s not angst pop!” Happy argues.

Toby smiles at her. “I love you.”

“Yeah, whatever, you too,” Happy says. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because we’re about to walk through our first portal to hell,” Toby says. He kisses the top of her head. “And I just wanted you to know I love you.”

It turns out Toby wasn’t exaggerating, and Happy realizes this the moment she walks into the door.

A rather large woman with straight blonde hair and a smile too big for a stranger walks forward and aims what looks like an aggressive hug right at Happy. They don’t even make it to the room with the food – just immediate onslaught from the moment they walk into the door.

“Happy!” she exclaims. “It’s so good to meet you!”

Toby swoops in and catches the woman in his arms, and Happy relaxes.

“Aunt Elena,” he says, for Happy’s benefit. “It’s wonderful to see you again.”

“Oh, I don’t want anything to do with you,” she says, tone light. “I’m here to meet your girl.” She pushes him away and he stumbles. Happy hasn’t felt like anything was as inevitable as Aunt Elena’s smothering hug.

“Auntie, she doesn’t really –”

Aunt Elena wraps her arms around Happy’s shoulders, and Happy feels an urge to wrap her arms protectively around her belly.

“Auntie,” Toby says more firmly. “A little space?”

“Oh, hush,” Elena says, stepping away. Happy breathes again. “She’s fine, look at her.”

“She doesn’t hug people,” Toby says pointedly.

“I’m really not a fan,” Happy says. Her skin is still crawling, and she only settles when Toby reaches out and presses a steadying hand against her back.

“Pish posh,” says Elena, and Happy for a moment thinks she’s hallucinating because who in fuck’s name says ‘pish posh’? But it’s real and it’s overwhelming, and Happy’s beginning to think she should have just trusted Toby about this in the first place.

Toby literally slides an arm around Happy's shoulders. “How about you let us go meet everyone in the brunch room, okay?”

Elena nods. “You know me. I love being the greeter.”

Happy waits until she’s out of earshot when she says, “Toby, that woman is terrible.”

“I know,” he says, grabbing her hand. “They’re insane. I’m sorry.”

Happy exhales. “We’re good. Hey, did you tell them we were coming?”

“I called Lucy,” Toby says. “Apparently she sent a notification across Facebook.”

Happy wrinkles her nose. “Damn social media.”

They walk into the room, and Happy feels overwhelming relief when nobody seems to notice that they’ve entered.

“If this is the attention we get all day,” she mutters to Toby, “I’d be good.”

“Oh, just wait,” Toby says.

Suddenly, somebody shoves a champagne flute filled with what appears to be a mimosa that’s mostly champagne in her hand before she can react. Happy looks down at it. “I can’t,” she says, befuddled, shoving it back at the older man who gave it to her. “I’m nearly eight months pregnant.”

The man, balding and brash, claps her on the shoulder so hard that her knees nearly buckle. “One drink won’t hurt anything, sweet cheeks,” he says.

Happy grabs his hand and pulls it off, stepping closer to Toby. “Yeah, no,” she says, shaking her head. “Not willing to risk it.”

“Hi, Bob,” Toby grumbles.

“Is that Toby Curtis?” Bob exclaims, but it doesn’t look like his smile reaches his eyes. “Finally find time for us little people after you got too good for us?”

He yanks Toby into a hug that looks more to kill than to comfort, and Toby winces.

She mouths, “Sorry,” to him, but he waves her off.

“Nice to see you too, Bob,” Toby says, clapping him on the back as hard as Happy knows he can.

Bob laughs. “Got those noodle arms a little stronger, I see,” he scoffs. “Gotta be strong to snatch this one.”

Happy starts deconstructing the engine of her dad’s newest Mustang in order to keep herself from murdering him.

“Well, got to go introduce her to everyone else,” Toby says, wrenching himself away.

“Yeah, show her off,” Bob adds.

They take a few steps away. “I hate him,” Happy decides.

“Yeah, we all do,” Toby grumbles. “He’s the oldest cousin. He didn’t do anything with his life, but somehow feels like it’s appropriate to mess with everyone.” Toby holds out a hand.

“I’m good,” Happy says, wrapping her hands around her belly. “Anybody tries to mess with me, I’ll kill them.”

“That’s my girl,” Toby laughs.

Ninety-seven. That’s the number of people Happy meets, all adults, at the brunch. Apparently the kids, who are the ones Toby wanted her to meet, are at home with Aunt Lucy swimming in their pool.

“Yeah, I’m not swimming,” Happy mumbles while they’re served the millionth course. Happy’s lucky she’s pregnant – otherwise she doubts she’d be able to eat all of this. She’s particularly impressed with the quiche. "The day I'm in a bathing suit around this many people is the day hell freezes over."

“Same here,” Toby says, checking the time on his phone. “Oh, thank god. It’s almost eleven thirty.”

“I thought we were out of here at one?”

“No, we’re out at eleven thirty, because you’re pregnant and you need to take a nice, restorative nap.” He winks garishly.

“I’ve never said this to you before,” Happy begins, “but you’re fucking brilliant.”

He shrugs. “They do call me a genius.”

While everyone’s gotten up and begun to mingle with champagne flutes and wine glasses for accessories, that’s when Happy fakes a couple of massive yawns in a row.

“I think I need to go take a nap, Toby,” she says, hoping it sounds serious.

“Of course, sweetheart,” he says, smiling at her. “We’ll see you all at one, okay?”

They’re all too distracted by morning booze and their own exaggerated stories to climb all over them or tell them to stop, so Happy and Toby make it out of there with minimal interaction.

“We survived!” Toby exclaims. “Now let’s go back to the hotel and sleep.”

“That’s, like, forty-five minutes away,” Happy says, frowning. “We won’t be back in time.”

“Lucy’s house is about ten minutes in the other direction from the hotel,” Toby explains. “And I talked to the guy – they’re keeping our room open until four.”

“Damn,” Happy says. “You’re on your game.”

“No,” Toby corrects, sliding into the passenger seat. “I’m just paranoid that my family is going to fuck you up so bad that you’re going to leave me.”

“Oh, shut up,” Happy says, rolling her eyes. “Don’t joke about that.”

“I’m not joking,” Toby corrects. “Look, there’s a reason I bailed on them. These people mess with you and invade your personal space enough to disorient you, and then get under your skin in a way you can’t quite pinpoint, but that makes you feel bad about yourself.”

Happy stares at him. “You know, I’m feeling tired,” Happy says. “Could you drive?”

“You want me to drive?” Toby asks, befuddled.

“Yeah,” Happy says, smiling at him. “I would really appreciate it.”

“Okay, I know what you’re doing,” Toby says, jumping out of the car and kissing her. “And I love you for it.”

“You love me for a lot of reasons,” Happy retorts. “But I am tired.” She sends him a smile as she walks to the other side of the car and slides in the seat. “And I do kind of need a nap.”

He shoots her a smile and spends a minute adjusting the steering wheel, mirrors, and seat. “God, you’re short.”

“Shut up,” Happy says, mid-yawn. “You’re driving a soccer mom car.”

“Only because we’re about to be soccer parents,” Toby replies. “Now go to sleep, honey. We’ve got a bunch of crazy people to deal with today.”

Happy falls asleep immediately.

They get back to the hotel and fall next to each other in bed. They have another forty-five minutes before they have to be at Lucy’s, and Happy hopes the minutes drag out forever.

“Hey, baby,” Toby says, tapping his fingertips along Happy’s belly. “You just met some of your family. And I apologize.”

“Yeah, that was,” Happy searches for the right word, “enlightening.”

“I’m feeling a nap,” says Toby, throwing the comforter over the two of them.

“I’m still wearing shoes,” Happy protests, but she doesn’t argue when Toby wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her close.

“You know,” Toby says, “we used to be able to do this without anyone being in the way.”

“Get used to it,” Happy mumbles. “Hand me my phone.”

“Your phone?” Toby asks. “We’re taking a nap and you want your phone?”

“So we don’t sleep through Lucy’s part of the deal,” Happy exclaims.

Toby groans as he drops the phone in her hands. “You’ve foiled my evil plan.”

“Oh, shut up.” But Happy sets the alarm for twenty minutes from then, and they fall asleep rather quickly.

But the chirping alarm is unwelcome twenty minutes later.

“I don’t want to,” Toby whines, covering himself with the blanket.

Happy sighs. “Come on. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave.”

Toby sits up. “Deal."

The drive is short, like Toby promised, and they pull first into a paved driveway that forks into multiple dirt driveways, and Toby directs Happy to drive into the one with the least number of cars.

“Why are there so many driveways?” Happy asks.                      

“Most of the Curtis family still lives in this town,” Toby explains. “Those driveways? All other members of the family.”

“Then there’s a lot of people here,” Happy says, a little disconcerted.

“Not really,” Toby replies. “I think you’re underestimating how scary my family is,” Toby unbuckles his seat belt. “Only half of these cars were driven here. The rest are just broken down wrecks that hang out in the yard.”

“Then I’ll get along with them,” Happy replies. She has to practically roll out of the car, her belly so much in the way that she’s fairly certain she’s going to have to move back her seat soon. “Look, they can’t be much worse than they were in the function hall.”

“Trust me,” Toby says. “On their own turf with more alcohol? Just you wait.”

Aunt Lucy greets them, closing the door as she comes out and reaches out to hug Toby.

“Oh, kiddo,” she says, and Toby’s hug seems genuine. “We’ve missed you so much. Derek and Emily will be so happy to see you.”

“Good to see you too, Auntie Lu,” Toby replies.

Lucy breaks away, and smiles at Happy. “Hi, Happy,” Lucy says, holding out a hand for a shake. “It’s great to meet you.”

Happy shakes her hand hesitantly. “This is going to sound weird,” she begins, “but thanks for not forcing me into a hug.”

Lucy nods. “I was the same way pregnant. Didn’t want anyone touching me or the kid, both pregnancies. Wanted nothing to do with it.”

“Can you guess why she’s my favorite aunt?” Toby asks.

“Oh, stop it,” Lucy laughs, gently hitting Toby’s arm. “Come on. The kids will be so excited to see you.”

The next hour consists of Happy being shuffled around to so many people that, at one point, she’s half convinced she’s going to lose Toby and have to navigate the place herself.

She feels a warm, familiar hand on the small of her back.

“I’ve got you,” Toby says.

Happy nods. “I thought you got sucked up by the crowd,” Happy says. “Don’t do that again.”

“Sorry,” he murmurs. “Hey, come with me,” he says. “There’s some kids who want to meet you.”

By kids, Toby means a half dozen babies and toddlers, the children of his cousins.

She barely gets a hold of their names – two Morgans, an Aidan, a Tom, a Mike, a Victoria who was clinging to her husband Brian, a Sean, and a Kaylie.

And those were just the adults.

Toby looks like a natural, a two year old running to wrap his arms around his leg as Kaylie rests her infant on one arm and Aidan practically throws her toddler in the other.

“See?” Toby says. “It’s like a baby gradient. Little,” he holds up the infant, “to big!” He wiggles his foot. The toddler giggles.

“Hi,” says one of the toddlers. “I’m Shelby.”

“Hi, Shelby,” Happy says, holding out her hand. “I’m Happy.”

“But what’s your name?” Shelby insists.

“Her name is Happy, sweetie,” says Victoria, giving her a look. “Be polite.”

Toby gestures toward her with the infant, and Happy takes her. She’s awake, bright blue eyes searching the room, and Happy’s charmed until her own kid starts fighting up a storm.

With one well aimed vertical kick, Happy’s daughter kicks the baby she’s holding in the back, and she starts to wail.

“Um,” Happy begins.

“I’ll take her,” Aidan says. She smiles as Happy rests the baby in her arms, then Aidan turns to Tom and says, “Your turn.”

“Oh, she’s not – my baby kicked her,” Happy explains. She taps the top of her belly to do her best to soothe her. “I think my kid got jealous or something.”

Aidan nods in understanding. “That makes sense. Lola,” she nods down to the baby in Tom’s arms, still crying, “used to do that all the time when I held the other kids.”

“Hey, Happy, have you tried Aidan’s carrot cake yet?” Toby interrupts, smiling at her. “It’s amazing.”

“Oh, you’re too sweet,” Aidan says.

Toby grabs Happy’s hand and leads her through the living room into the kitchen, where they’re swallowed up by a throng of people.

“I could tell you were getting overwhelmed,” Toby mutters. “I figured I’d get you out of there.”

“So there’s no carrot cake?” Happy quips, shooting him a grin.

“Oh, there’s carrot cake,” Toby replies, “but it’s not that great.”

Happy nods, and she’s about to say something, but a half dozen people start involving them in a conversation about their wives and politics, and Happy feels like she might just throw up and die. It reaches maximum horror when some of the men start commenting on how everyone woman should look as good as Happy does pregnant.

Toby leans in and says, “If you suddenly feel really queasy, the kids’ old playroom has a bathroom attached. Nobody goes in there but my two younger cousins – you’ll be fine.”

“Oh, thank god,” says Happy. “If one more person goes to touch my stomach I’m going to punch them in the throat.”

“Go take a break, love,” Toby says. He never uses the nickname in public, but she appreciates it now. A reminder that, no matter what happens now, they’ve got each other.

She nods.

She pushes through Nana, Uncle Dana, Aunt Judy, Toby’s cousin Kelly and her son and daughter Lucas and Renee, and Toby’s incredibly ancient great aunt Blanche, who insists on giving her an absurd amount of unnecessary advice.

“And let me tell you, dear,” she says, patting Happy’s hand. “If you don’t feel ready to get back into bed with your man after the baby comes, you kick him right to the couch, you hear? I love my nephew but he doesn’t need any more of you than he’s already got. You wait as long as you need.”

Happy says, “Okay,” in a high pitched, distressed voice and runs to the bathroom Toby directed her too. As much as she wants to erase that experience, she knows that conversation is locked and loaded for the rest of her life. Happy deeply regrets her memory.

She stumbles into the bathroom and rests against the door, trying her best to control herself. This many people is too much for her. There’s nothing she can handle less than strangers touching her.

Maybe Toby’s right. Maybe they’ve got all the family they need.

Happy, after a few minutes, starts to feel cramped in the tiny bathroom, so she walks into the playroom. She spends too much time looking at the different toys, ranging from baby to elementary schooler, with an area in one corner with a desk and an older looking laptop.

It’s like watching a childhood unfold in front of her.

“Why don’t they get rid of anything?” Happy finds herself asking.

She sits down at the desk, the chair spinning in a manner a little less stable than she’d like, but her back hurts and she needs a real rest.

“Hey,” says a quiet voice. “Toby told me to come check on you.”

Happy looks up to see a teenage girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen, and a kid who has to be her brother peeking out from behind her, no more than ten.

Happy nods at them, because she isn’t sure what else to do. “Hi.”

“I’m Emily,” says the girl. “He told me to give you this.”

“Toby did?” Happy asks.

The girl smiles at her. “Yeah. Take it.”

Happy takes the napkin to find a little cupcake inside it. She’s touched. “Did he say what kind of cupcake it is?”

“Chocolate with chocolate filling,” Emily replies. “I baked them.” She leans in, like it’s a secret. “They’re Toby’s favorite. I wasn’t going to bake, but when I heard he was going to be here, I had to. I was up until midnight making sure they were perfect.”

Happy sends her a grateful smile. “And who’s this?” she asks, nodding to the boy behind Emily.

“This is my brother,” Emily replies, confirming Happy’s assumptions, “Derek.”

“Hi, Derek,” Happy says.

“Are you having a baby?” Derek asks. His eyes don’t meet Happy’s.

“Derek,” Emily says, a comforting hand resting on Derek’s shoulder. “Try again?”

“I’m Derek,” he says. “Are you having a baby?”

“Hi, Derek, I’m Happy,” she replies, holding out her hand to shake it. He looks at it.

“Are you having a baby?” he repeats.

Happy nods. “Soon,” she replies. “In ten weeks or so.”

He nods, and finally sends her a smile. “I like babies,” he says quietly. He clings to Emily’s shirt.

“Am I scaring you?” Happy asks him, because she’s not sure why he looks so uncomfortable in his own house. “I can leave –”

He shakes his head. “No,” he says firmly. “You can stay.” He looks up at Emily and pulls at her shirt until she leans down so he can whisper something in her ear.

“Okay, I will,” Emily says to Derek. Then she turns to Happy. “Derek doesn't really like people all that much,” Emily explains. “Sometimes it’s hard for him to meet new people.”

Happy smiles at him. “Can I tell you something, Derek?” Happy says. Derek nods. “It’s always hard for me to meet new people. I’m okay if you don’t want to talk. It’s good just to meet you.” She breaks off a piece of the cupcake and offers it to him.

Derek’s lips break into a grin as he takes it. “I like you.”

“I like you, too,” Happy says. Finally she feels comfortable in this big house with all these people who don’t seem to connect to Toby at all. But these two – this is who Toby is. This is where she sees him in his family. It's the first time she's been around kids this age without hating it, and the first time today that she thinks she'd come back to visit these two.

Emily and Derek act as her bodyguards for the rest of the party, and Happy sneaks them way too many treats. But, she figures, as basically their older cousin, that’s what she’s there to do. She’s not sure. She’s never done this before.

Happy is particularly touched, however, when Derek says, “Grandma, you can hug me,” when Toby’s grandmother walks toward her with her arms outstretched toward her and Happy’s half ready to run out of there.

“Me too, Grandma!” Emily says, and she wiggles under her grandmother’s arms, freeing Derek to go rush over to Happy.

“Thanks for that, kid,” she mumbles. “I hate hugs. And,” Happy points to her belly, “so does she.”

Derek’s eyes light up when he looks at her belly. “You’re having a girl?”

Happy nods. “Yep.”

Derek smiles. “That’s exciting. I want to meet her.”

“I think we could definitely arrange that.”

“There you are!” says Toby, dodging Uncle Ray’s gesture with a beer bottle. He looks to Derek and Emily. “I see you met my two favorite people.”

“I did,” say Happy and Derek together.

Toby laughs, and holds out his hand for a fist bump. Derek bumps him and grins.

“Toby taught me fist bumps,” Derek says, smiling. “I like them.”

“Me too, kiddo,” Happy says.

Emily groans. “I like them a lot less when Derek asks for them every five minutes.”

“Did you like the cupcake?” Toby asks. “Emily is the best baker in the world. She once made this apple tarte that was out of this world.”

Emily blushes, and that’s when she looks the most like Toby. “It’s not that good.”

“It’s better than that good!” Toby exclaims. “You could open a shop, Emily. I mean, finish school first. But open a shop when you’re done with school.” He pauses. “Business school. Get your MBA.”

“My what?” Emily asks, frowning.

“Most people don’t talk grad school until they’re in college, Toby,” Happy says, fighting a smile.

“And I’m not skipping any grades, even though I could,” Emily says. “Mom said that’s what made you weird.”

“I’d argue, but she’s right,” Toby says. He turns to Happy. “Our kid is not skipping any grades.”

Derek yanks at Toby’s shirt. “Toby, I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah, bud?” he asks.

“I’m glad you visited, Toby,” Derek says. “I missed you. Don't go again.”

Toby’s smile is unsteady. “I missed you too, bud.”

“Don’t go for five years and thirty-seven days again,” Derek repeats firmly. “I want to know my new cousin.”

Toby’s face looks so heartbroken that Happy steps in. “You’re definitely meet the baby,” Happy promises. “We’ll give you a call when she’s born, okay?”

“I meant you,” Derek says. “You’re my new cousin.”

Happy’s shocked. “Oh,” she says, the surprise fading into content, “yeah. I’d love to get to know you.”

Derek nods. “Good. I need dinner now. It’s 5:45.” And he walks off.

“He does that,” Emily says, smiling after him.

Happy checks her watch. “It’s getting late, Toby,” she says pointedly. It’s not even six yet, and they haven’t had dinner, but if she spends any more time in this house with anyone but Toby, Derek, and Emily, she might not last.

“Very right,” Toby says. “Should we say our goodbyes?”

“We have to say goodbye to them?” Happy asks. It sounds like more of a whine, she has to admit.

“Oh yeah,” Toby says. “Like a bandaid. Quick and painless.”

“This will be neither quick nor painless.”

“That is correct.”

She’s right. It isn’t. It’s another thirty minutes of unwilling hugs and belly pats, and Happy’s skin is crawling five minutes into it. She waves goodbye to Emily and Derek right before she leaves, but when she and Toby finally get outside, the door swings open.

“Wait a second!” says Emily.

“Yeah, wait!”

“What’s up, kids?” Toby asks.

Emily hands Happy a slip of paper. “My email address,” she explains. “Derek doesn’t have one, but this way you can send us pictures of the baby and stuff. Mom always forwards everything to the whole family, so this way you don’t have to deal with that.”

Happy turns to Toby. “She’s smarter than we are.”

Toby shrugs. “Like I said. They’re my favorite.”

Derek holds up his hand to Happy. “Fist bump?” he asks quietly.

She bumps it. “Good to meet you, Derek.”

He smiles and nods.

Toby wraps Emily into a huge hug and, to Happy’s surprise, Derek joins in, wrapping his arms around Toby’s waist. She’d expected the five year absence to have broken some of the closeness between the three of them, but Derek and Emily don’t seem to mind the fact that it took Toby years to come back.

She wants to hold onto them, she realizes as she rests her hand on her belly. Her kid’s going to know at least two of her cousins.

“Alright, you two,” Toby says, ruffling their hair. “Do well in school. Be brave. Eat a bunch of Fun Dip before you guys have to go to church next Sunday, just to see what happens.”

“I hate Fun Dip now,” Derek says, wrinkling his nose.

“Then Skittles,” Toby replies. “You still like Skittles, right?”

Derek nods. “I’ll have a whole bag.”

Emily rolls her eyes at Toby, then turns to Happy. “He’s going to be a weird dad,” she warns.

“Well, he’s a weird everything,” Happy agrees. “He may as well be a weird dad, too.”

Happy hesitates, then opens her arms, and Emily gives her a quick hug that Happy’s surprised she doesn’t hate.

“You’re really awesome,” Emily says as she lets go.

Happy grins. “So are you.”

In the car, halfway out of the driveway, Happy yawns so hugely that her jaw pops. She hadn't realized how exhausted she was until she sat down, but now it's all she can think about.

“Toby,” she mumbles.

“Yeah?” he says, sitting up straight. “I’m fine. I’m not falling asleep.”

“Liar,” she laughs. “How much is Walter going to kill us if we ask for another night off? We’ll get home late tomorrow.”

“And stay at the hotel again?” Toby asks. He groans, sinking against the seat. “Please. That’s the best idea you’ve ever had.”

Happy laughs. “I’m willing to take any of Walter’s bullshit as long as I get to sleep in that bed again.”

They make it to the hotel and check in to see if there’s another room available. There is. It’s not as nice as the day before, but it’s got a bed that’s just as comfortable and they take it.

“Oh, Walter’s going to totally kill us,” Happy says, kicking off her boots and letting them fall to the floor next to the bed. “But it’s so worth it to not have to drive home tonight.”

“You’re telling me,” Toby laughs, interrupting himself with a yawn.

“Now stop talking,” Happy mumbles, falling asleep. “I’m sleeping.”

“Deal,” Toby replies. And he’s snoring before she’s even closed her eyes.


	16. Pregnancy, Week 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The Happy Quinn they know isn't pregnant."

Happy grabs Toby’s phone and throws it across the room.

“One of these days,” Toby grumbles, snuggling up behind her, “you’re going to break the otter box and shatter the screen.”

“As long as the alarm shuts up, I don’t care,” Happy replies.

“Easy for you to say,” Toby grumbles. “It’s my phone.” He kisses her cheek. “You know Walter’s just going to call if we don’t get there at nine this morning.”

“Don’t care,” Happy replies, trying to close her eyes. “I’m tired and your daughter kept me up all night.”

“You go back to sleep,” Toby says, yawning. “I’ll make you two breakfast.”

“It still counts as making me breakfast,” Happy replies. “She’s not out yet.”

“Same thing,” Toby shoots back.

Like a miracle Happy falls back to sleep, until Toby wakes her up half an hour later.

“Made you an omelet,” Toby says, smile on his lips. “I can’t guarantee it’s good, but I made it.”

Happy pushes her hair out of her eyes. “It’s food,” she replies. “It’ll be good.”

And it is, impressively so. Happy’s got to say, she’ll miss it when he’s too busy making breakfast for the baby to make breakfast for her. But it’ll be worth it.

The baby wakes up once Happy’s a few bites in, and she starts moving around like she's ready to kick her way out of there.

“Cool it, kid,” Happy says, wincing. “Walter’s going to annoy me enough getting to work. You don’t need to annoy me now.”

“Speaking of annoying you,” Toby says, walking out of the bathroom. “It’s eight thirty and you’re not even in the shower yet.”

“Yeah, we’ll get there eventually,” Happy replies, giving Toby a pointed look.

Eventually the clock hits ten fifteen when they park their soccer mom car, and Happy can tell that Toby is hesitant to walk into the garage to face Walter.

“Oh, calm down,” Happy says, pushing his back so he takes a few steps forward. “Walter will get over it.”

“I know,” Toby says, “but he’s mean.”

Happy pokes him in the back. “I’m meaner.”

Toby stands up straighter and walks toward the door. “I see your point.”

“You’re late,” Walter says without even looking up from his computer as Happy and Toby walk into the garage.

Happy chucks her jacket in his general direction. “Suck it up, Walt,” she replies. “You’re lucky I’m here before noon.”

He looks up at her, looking ridiculous with her jacket on his head. He pulls it off. “Two weeks ago,” he says curtly, “you and Toby took three – three – days off. I expect the courtesy of at least a phone call that you’re going to be late in the future.”

“She’s pregnant,” Toby says. “Take that as a suggestion that we’re going to be late.”

“We?” Walter asks. “You’re not pregnant.”

Happy scoffs. “Oh, okay, like he’s going to drive here on his own. Come on, Walter. Carpooling is good for the environment.” She smiles and tilts her head to the side. "You don't want us messing with the environment, now, do you?"

“I hear snarking,” Paige says, walking into the garage. “Why are we snarking?”

There’s a pause.

“Oh, and she gets a pass for being late?” Toby asks.

“She,” Walter explains, “was out making contacts for private contracts.”

“The last time we did that Toby nearly got murdered in a dessert,” Happy comments. “Not sure that was our best professional move.”

Walter considers it. “We will have Cabe involved this time,” he decides. “And Paige is discerning. She picks good cases.”

“Thanks,” she says, smile sunny. She kisses Walter’s cheek, and he gets so flustered he closes his laptop on his hand. She turns to Happy. “It’s fun to mess with their heads, isn’t it?”

Happy shrugs. “Pretty much.” She turns to Toby. “Right?”

“What?” he says, looking up from a book. Happy hadn’t even seen him sit down.

“Exactly,” Happy sighs.

“Alright,” says Walter, looking desperate to change the topic of conversation. “Are there any pressing issues right now?”

“The van,” Happy replies. “Oil needs to be changed.”

Walter nods. "And you, Paige?"

“Paperwork,” Paige says, sighing. “Because I have the best job in Scorpion.” She wrinkles her nose.

Sylvester holds up a packet of papers. “I, too, have paperwork.”

“You do?”

Sylvester smiles. “I’m starting the Megan Dodd foundation. It’s a scholarship program for children of those with MS.”

Walter’s face crumbles into absolute awe. “Really?” he asks.

Sylvester nods. “It was an idea Megan and I had been kicking around. And I had saved up a lot from my paychecks,” he shrugs. “Well, I don’t have anything to spend that money on. So I figured I’d put it into something where it would do some good.”

Walter walks up to Sylvester and pulls him into a hug. “I think that’s an amazing idea.”

“We’re hugging,” Sylvester says, befuddled, but he pats Walter’s back. “Do you, uh,” he pulls away, “do you want to help?”

“I would,” Walter says, looking a little misty eyed. “Certainly.” He turns to the rest of the team. “Toby?”

Toby looks up from his book again. “What?”

“Do you have any plans for today?” Walter reiterates, looking a bit annoyed. Happy's a little surprised at just how quickly Walter goes from emotionally open brother to snippy boss. It's irritating.

“I’ve got a couple of journals I’d like to write up,” Toby says.

“Journals?” Walter asks. “On what?”

“Article on the practical applications of behavioral analysis in the field,” Toby says.

“Haven’t you done that already?” Paige asks.

“Call it a sequel,” Toby says, making his way over to his desk.

The team breaks off into their own personal projects, and Happy lies down on her creeper.

“You’re going to get stuck,” Toby says.

"Don't be a dumbass," Happy shoots back. "I'm fine."

She tries to ignore the fact that Toby is definitely looking at her as she chooses her tools, but when she hears a giggle, she looks up to see Toby with a stupid grin on his face.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working on your mind reading paper?” Happy replies, selecting the right wrench.

“I was,” Toby replies, “but then I saw this get started, and I thought, ‘This oughta be good.’”

“I’m eight months pregnant, not stupid,” Happy grumbles. “I’m going to change the oil in this stupid van before I pop this kid out.”

“Trying to roll under the car might pop the kid out for you,” Paige says, looking over at Happy from her desk. “Seriously, Happy, you’re not going to fit.”

“I’m going to fit!” Happy exclaims.

Sylvester and Walter look over from Sly’s desk. “Actually, the angle of the –”

“Sly, finish that sentence,” Happy says, glaring at him, “I dare you.”

Sly shrinks away.

Happy manages to get her hands under the car, just close enough to touch the oil cap, but her baby bump bonks against the bumper.

“Shit,” she grumbles, looking down. She tries again, seeing if she can adjust her position to get under the car. She half slides off the creeper. “Double shit,” Happy says.

Toby’s face pops into view next to her belly. “Hi, baby,” Toby says to her belly. “Are you making it so your mom can’t get to her car? That’s not very nice.”

“Stop talking to the kid and help me get out of here,” Happy snaps. “And somebody else needs to change the oil in the van before the thing blows.”

“Just tell me how to do it,” Toby says. “I’ll be fine.”

Happy rolls out from under the car, face level with Toby’s. “Sure you would.”

Toby kisses her. “Your face is covered in grease, by the way.”

“Your face is covered in dumb,” Happy replies. She rolls so she’s no longer under the car, but with her position and the baby’s recent growth spurt, Happy can’t get up. Her balance is off. “Oh, fuck.”

Toby grins down at her. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“Shut up and help me,” Happy snaps. “You knocked me up, you could at least help me stand.”

He holds out his hands, but when he pulls her up, Happy’s leg pushes back on the creeper and it shoots under the car. Happy loses her balance, butToby catches around her back, pulling her up to standing in a twirling motion.

“Fancy a dance, sweetheart?” Toby asks, grinning.

“Put me down before I punch you in the throat,” Happy says, but there’s not much bite in it. Happy’s exhausted, and the second she thinks about how tired she is, she starts to yawn.

“You okay?” Toby asks, concern written all over his face. The laughter left his eyes the moment she stopped quipping back at him, and she wants it to come back.

Happy nods. “Just tired,” she replies. So fucking tired, she adds in her head. The second she entered her third trimester the fatigue started hitting, and it’s hitting more and more strongly the further along she gets.

“Are you sure it’s just tired?” Toby asks, steadying her. His hands rests gently on the tops of her arms.

“I might not be sleeping as much at night as I want to be,” she admits.

“Pregnancy wreaks havoc on the body and causes in equal frequency insomnia and fatigue,” Sylvester interjects.

Happy looks at him. “Thanks, man. No need to tell me.”

Toby gets Doctor Face and makes her lie down on the couch.

"I'm fine," Happy argues, a little weakly. "I've got to get the oil changed."

"No," Toby adds, settling her with a blanket and a pillow, "the oil needs to be changed. You don't need to do it."

Happy groans. "None of you can," she says back."

Toby shrugs. "Maybe so. But we'll take care of it, okay?" He looks worried again. "I just want you to know, it's okay to relax."

Happy wants to argue, she wants to fight it, but when she yawns again she realizes Toby's right. It's either concerned doctor or concerned boyfriend, but they're both correct right now.

"Fine," Happy mumbles, letting Toby give her hand a squeeze, and she’s asleep before she’s even realized it.

She’s woken up some time later by Toby after a dream involving the whole team dancing in coconut bras to the dulcet tones of Bohemian Rhapsody, which is a dream she's glad to be out of.

“What time is it?” she mumbles, pushing herself up. “Oh, god, ow.”

“Your back?” Toby asks sympathetically.

Happy nods. “I think she’s halfway into my spine.”

He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “When we get home, you’ll get the massage of your life, okay? But right now we’ve got a problem.”

“A problem?” Happy asks. Pushing herself to sitting up is harder than she remembers, and she thinks the baby’s shifted completely in the time she’s been asleep. “What kind of problem?”

“A Molina kind of problem,” he says seriously.

Happy stands up, with only a little bit of help from Toby. “Seriously?”

Toby nods. “She’s the one who called.”

Happy’s befuddled. “Not Cooper?”

Toby nods solemnly. “Not Cooper. But they’ll both be here soon.”

“Okay,” Happy says. “In that case, I’m worried.”

She sits cross legged on their table, tying together embroidery thread in the muscle-memorized pattern of a bracelet she learned long enough ago for the bracelet to feel small in her hands, as she feels the worry roll over her.

“It’s going to be fine,” Toby murmurs in her ear. Without another word, he rests his hand on top of one of hers, and she settles slightly.

“I don’t like this,” Happy says, worried. “This doesn’t feel right. Molina never comes here anymore.”

“We are all wary of this,” Walter says, and Happy thinks that, for the first time in his life, Walter has no predictions for what’s about to happen.

The door to the garage opens, and Molina, Cooper, and Cabe walk in like Charlie’s Angels.

“Okay, what the hell is happening?” Toby says. “I can’t deal with the anticipation anymore. This is way too exciting for a Tuesday.”

“Can it,” Cabe says firmly. Happy watches Toby shrink.

“Are you hiding behind me?” she asks, incredulous.

“Only because Cabe likes you,” Toby clarifies. “Also, I’m not sure if Molina still wants to kill me for the way I talked to her when you guys were stuck in that submarine.”

“Eyes here, team,” Molina says. She’s still got that air of importance about her, something earned instead of assumed, but she’s always rubbed Happy the wrong way. Something about competition for the girl most likely to kill you in the room.

“We’ve gotten a lead on Beijing,” Molina says.

“The city?” Sylvester asks.

“Yes,” Molina replies. “About Merrick and Beijing.”

“That guy bled out on concrete,” Happy says, unsure of where this is going. “Why is he relevant?”

“Because we’re fairly certain he’s not the only one who has been contacted,” Molina says. “We can’t trust anyone in Homeland. So we’re coming to you.”

“Do you have anything for us to do?” Walter asks. Molina raises a single eyebrow in response. “I don’t mean disrespect, just that without any further leads, we’ve got nothing to do.”

“We were hoping one of you could go undercover in the department,” Molina says. “See if we can get any further intel regarding anyone being manipulated, in the pocket of, or coerced by this or another government. It would be a long-term thing.”

Happy immediately looks at Toby. “No,” she says.

His hands go up. “I wasn’t going to! I've had too many brushes with law enforcement to be convincingly spying on law enforcement."

There's argument for a moment that Happy watches, Sylvester flat out refusing, Walter and Paige trying to tell each other they can't go, and Cabe telling Molina that, with a disguise, he should be able to do it. Molina and Cooper argue with each other about whether or not this was a good idea.

And then suddenly, puzzle pieces click in Happy’s mind. “I should go.”

“You should what?!” Toby exclaims. “Excuse me?!”

“I can barely help you guys out here,” Happy explains, pointing to the bowling ball that will soon be her daughter. “I’m too pregnant to do anything in the garage, I can barely go on jobs. But this,” she pats the top of her belly, “and a pair of glasses? Nobody’s going to have any idea who I am.”

“She’s got a point,” Paige says. “The Happy Quinn Homeland knows isn’t pregnant.”

Happy watches Toby’s expression fade through about thirty different emotions. “Happy,” he says, “this isn’t safe.”

“Oh, and me being alone in the garage, doing nothing, is good for me?” she asks, throwing her hands up. “Look, we’ll hook me up to coms, you can guide me through any tricky situations. Even on missions, we can keep in touch.” She smiles at him, and she isn’t sure how much venom is behind it. “And this way I’ll be less annoying and bored.”

“I don’t like this,” says Walter, looking uncomfortable. “Is this a good idea?”

“I can be someone who transferred in from a different department late in my pregnancy,” Happy explains. “To be closer to home or something, in case the baby comes.” She looks at everyone. “I can do this. If you just let me.”

Molina and Cooper exchange a look.

“Let’s do it,” Molina says. “We’ll get you prepped. Your goal is to talk to people, find proof or suggestions that somebody knows something they shouldn’t, and get them to trust you.”

“And when does she stop?” Toby asks.

“When she gets the information we need,” Molina says.

Happy scoffs. “Uh, the correct answer is when I pop the baby out,” she replies.

“Whichever comes first,” Molina says. “Are you in?”

The entire team looks at her.

“You guys will have my back through all of it, right?” she says, looking around. Everyone nods. “And, if it comes to it, I’ll always have Toby on coms to guide me through tricky situations?”

“Definitely,” Toby says. “And if anybody disagrees, I’ll punch you.”

“You got knocked unconscious in your only fight,” Walter says.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t take you down,” Toby says, looking Walter up and down.

“Okay, no need to start an argument,” Paige says, stepping in between everybody. “Again." She turns to Happy, and she seems like the only one thinking through all possibilities. "Happy. You okay with doing this?”

Happy nods. “Yes. I’m sick of being bored.” The baby shifts. “Oh. She’s in. Baby’s first undercover mission. It’ll be a good story to tell.”

“Alright,” says Molina, clapping her hands. “Let’s prep for this.”

* * *

“Hey,” says Cabe, coming up to her. “You sure you’re ready to do this?”

It’s the morning of her first day, which also happens to be only three days after they all decided she was going to go undercover, and Happy’s nervous. Paige had thrown a pile of floaty, un-Happy-like clothes at her, to wear during the undercover operation. Happy’s got on a floral print dress that skims over her baby bump, somehow making it even more obvious. It’s the most un-Happy she’s ever looked.

“It’s a disguise,” Paige had insisted. “You can’t look like you.”

“I don’t look like me!” Happy had argued. “I’m pregnant as fuck!”

“True,” Paige added, “but still. You’ll be comfortable.”

Happy is still annoyed that she was right. The glasses and dress make her look like a housewife on her way to check the sales at TJ Maxx after picking up her kid's allergy medication.

“I’m fine,” Happy replies, only mostly lying. “I mean, I’m a little nervous. But I’m okay.”

“And the baby?” Cabe asks. “She’s doing good?”

Happy pats the top of the belly. “I think she’s excited to go on her first case as a team member. She let me sleep last night, so that’s pretty convenient.”

Cabe smiles at her. “Happy, I just wanted to say…” He trails off, and Happy gets a good look at him. In his pensive expression, he looks older, the wrinkles on his face telling the story of all the bullets he’s dodged in his life, and the ones he hasn’t. “You are going to be,” he says again, “an amazing mother. And I’m so proud of you.”

Happy’s startled. “You are?”

Cabe nods. “And thank you, in advance, for letting me act as your little girl’s Pops. I can’t wait.”

Happy shrugs. “Well, she’s going to be all over you. I have a feeling you’ll be the one feeding her sugar when we told her no more.”

Cabe laughs. “Probably.”

Happy thinks that this is one of those moments when normal people expect a hug, so she opens her arms, and lets Cabe hold her tightly.

“Never told you this, Happy,” he says, patting her back, “but I think of you all on the team as my own kids. I just want to see you happy.”

“I’m always Happy,” she replies, grinning.

Cabe takes a step back. “You’ve been hanging out with Toby too much.”

“How do you think I ended up pregnant?”

“Too much information,” Cabe laughs. “Now go kick ass out there. You’re going to make an awesome spy.”

“I’m going to try.”

“No,” says Cabe, patting her on the shoulder, “you’re just going to be awesome.”

Happy walks out the door, adjusting the flowery printed bag on her shoulder. Toby catches her before she leaves. “Forgot to give you something.”

“What?”

He pulls her in and kisses her hard enough that she gets a little dizzy.

“What was that for?” she asks, feeling a little warm. She's so thrown off that she doesn't even care to snap at him for this much PDA at work.

“Because I don’t get to work with you for a while,” he says, adjusting the hair pins holding her hair into a delicate twist. “And I’m going to miss you.”

Happy sighs. “You’ll see me every night and every morning.”

He rests his forehead against hers. “I’m still going to miss you.”

She laughs. “Well, then, work hard while you miss me.” And she points to her ear. “And have this on and ready. I might need you.”

He nods. “Yes ma’am.” He looks down and taps her belly. “You take good care of your mom out there okay, baby girl?”

Happy smiles at him. “See you tonight at five-thirty in the garage,” Happy says.

“Five-thirty,” Toby agrees.

She sneaks in one last kiss before she gets in the car.

And Toby waves her off to her newest assignment. She’ll never tell him, but Happy turns the radio station to Toby’s favorite, and lets herself smile as she thinks of all of his ridiculous dance moves. She then remembers the coconut bra dream, and starts laughing out loud.

The laughter fades as Happy checks herself in the mirror before she goes in to check in at the meeting desk, trying desperately to cover any hint that she’s Happy Quinn.

The glasses are bright pink with little rhinestones on the sides, so that alone might do the trick.

“You can do this,” she says to herself.

She’s a little nervous. And it doesn’t help that this cover car that Molina got for her totally has something wrong in the engine. It’s quiet, but there’s a creaking noise that Happy can hardly stand.

Happy touches the com to turn it on.

“Toby?” she says quietly.

“Right here,” he says. “Everything okay?”

“Just nervous,” Happy replies. “Anyone else got their coms in?”

“Nope,” Toby replies. “Just me.”

She’s quiet for a minute, feeling a little better just to know that Toby is on the other end of the line. “I hate being pregnant,” Happy says eventually. “Is it bad that I want to go into labor in the parking lot to get this job and being pregnant over with?”

Toby laughs. “No, it’s not bad.” He sighs. “You were all gung ho about this case this morning. What changed?”

“The fact that I hate this car,” Happy shoots back. And then she deflates, because this is Toby. If she can't be honest with him, she can't be honest with anybody. “And, you know. It hit me that I’m kind of walking into the lion’s den.”

“If anybody’s the lion in there,” Toby says firmly, “it’s you.”

Happy laughs. “Thanks for that.”

“It was a compliment!” Toby defends.

“I know.” Happy plays with the ring she’d decided to use. Stella Harvey, the cover name she’s chosen, is happily married and expecting baby number one with a husband she adores.

She doesn’t want to think too far into why that’s the cover she settled on.

“I love you,” Happy says quietly.

“I love you too,” Toby replies. “And you’re going to be amazing, okay? Go kick some paper pushing ass.”

“I’m on it.”

Happy turns off the com and steadies herself.

“Well,” she decides, “it’s now or never.”


	17. Pregnancy, Week 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Quinn is an genius engineer undercover as a receptionist. Bored is not the word for it.

Undercover work, Happy decides after a month of wearing fake glasses, floaty dresses, and a fake smile, is terrible. She’s socializing and talking into coms to report meaningless information constantly, pretending she’s having fun with water cooler talk, and getting absolutely no information that’s relevant to Beijing.

Though she has learned a lot about the inner workings of Homeland Security’s romantic scene. Which isn’t anything she’s ever needed to know, but now she has some juicy blackmail.

Two weeks in, she charms the other receptionists to the point of getting the password to archived records. She finds nothing.

On week three, she gets coffee on her lunch break with the assistant to the department head, but learns more about how Dawn’s sister Mary is cheating on her husband with her pool boy than about anything convenient. Toby laughs in her ear the entire time, giving her ridiculous questions to ask that make the situation a little bit more tolerable.

It’s four weeks before she makes any real headway. She gets in with the other receptionists, shows off her baby bump to the big heads of the departments, and eventually is able to snag a couple key cards so she can get into back rooms. But every time she gets to the rooms, every time she gets into a file cabinet, somebody walks by and she has to get out of there at high speed.

If she doesn’t get anything today, she might have to give up.

“Yeah, she’s getting big,” Happy says, running her hand along her belly. She’s figured out that if her hands are cradling the baby, nobody else tries to touch it. “I can’t wait until she gets here.”

“Oh, she’ll make her grand appearance soon,” the department head says, giant smile. “And then you’re never getting rid of her.” He winks. It’s weird.

Happy’s pretty sure, though, that that was supposed to be a joke, so she uses the excuse to laugh and lean into him, swiping an all access key card without him even noticing.

“Mr. Green, you’re too funny,” she says. She checks her bright purple watch, something more garish than anything she’s ever looked at in her life, and feigns surprise. “Oh! I have a meeting to take notes for. I’ll see you later!”

Happy turns on the coms. “Hey, guys,” she says, “I know you’re probably out doing cool people things, but I finally swiped a working key card. I’m going to see what I can do.”

“You’ve got this, Hap,” Toby says. “I would say more, but we’re currently literally running from a rabid raccoon.”

“You’re what?!” Happy exclaims. “Wait. Never mind. Good luck.”

She bides her time until she’s has an opening, checking in with Toby every evening and waking up in the morning next to him before she disguises herself as someone who’s never met him. It’s strange to pretend he’s not such a huge part of her life. Then again, there’s a big piece of him in the character of Stella’s husband Terry.

Except Terry’s a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist. Her own little inside joke.

It’s late on a Tuesday, when everyone else is at a birthday party, that Happy gets herself into one of the office rooms. It’s somebody who works with foreign relations, so Happy’s hoping for a break, for her time at this office to end with “finding the information we need” instead of “pops out the baby.”

“If I were classified documents printed out by a possibly corrupt and definitely handsy department head,” Happy mumbles, “where would I be?”

She finds a couple of documents, giant chunks redacted, under a massive stack of folders. Happy takes a painstakingly long time to pull them out from under the mess, and she’s reminded of the game of Jenga she and Toby played a few weeks before. Hopefully this one doesn’t end in an arm wrestling match, though. She finally gets the documents out, twelve sheets of paper with words that could be Beijing, Merrick, or “I’m secretly spying for a hostile government,” and makes copies on the printer labeled “Administrators Only”, the only one in the office that doesn't save copies of everything sent to or copied from the machine, deciding she’ll lie that she printed to the wrong place if anybody asks.

The copier works more slowly than anything Happy’s ever worked with before.

“Come on,” she grumbles, peeking out in the hallway. Still empty.

She takes some cell phone pictures of the room and the documents, texting them to Walter. She’s not sure exactly what she’s looking for, but the redacted files and some receipts for huge money transfers seem important.

She also steals a tic tac from the package on the desk, because she’s a little queasy, and why not.

Happy manages to dart out into the hallway with the information in her hands, but everyone she walks past ignores her. The beauty of being nothing but a receptionist, she guesses.

She flops down at her desk, folding up the documents and moving to put them in her bag.

“What are you doing?” Margie asks.

Margie, Happy has realized, is one of the nosiest people here. And that’s including Happy, who is literally working undercover as a spy.

“What?” Happy asks, shifting so the papers are covered. She doesn't know how not to look guilty when she's actually this guilty. “Nothing.”

“You’re doing something,” she says.

Happy brushes hair behind her ear, subtly turning on the coms.

“Nope,” Happy says. “Just putting some papers away.”

“Those aren’t papers,” Margie says, and thank god she’s loud enough to get through to Toby. “You’re not supposed to use those printers for personal reasons.”

“Hey, Hap, you’re okay,” Toby says. “Those papers are things you printed for the baby. Medical records you couldn’t afford to print at home.”

Margie stares at her. “What are you smuggling?”

Toby’s voice in her ear calms her, and Happy sighs. “Okay, you caught me,” she says. “My printer at home is broken, and my doctor wants hard copies of my family’s medical history. So I had to print it all here.” She tries for a worried smile. “You won’t tell anyone right?”

“Oh, no!” Margie says. “No, sweetie, no. I understand the financial troubles that come with being a new mom.” She pats Happy’s hand. “I have four of them, myself. It’s scary.”

Happy sighs. “It really is.”

“But you’ve got that great husband of yours back home, right?”

“You told people you married me?” Toby asks. “How did I miss that?”

“Yes,” Happy says, to both Margie and Toby, “he’s been great through the whole process.” She rests her hand on her belly. “I just can’t wait for her to get here.”

Margie smiles at her. “Well, she’ll be here before you know it.” She checks the clock. “Ooh, four forty-five! Almost done with our day.” She winks. “You have a great few last minutes, Stella.”

Happy nods. “You too.”

“You told people you’re married?” Toby asks. “Do you wear a ring?”

Happy looks at the dime store ring. “Maybe.”

“Do you want a ring?” he asks, sounding interested.

“Maybe later,” she replies. “Let’s do the baby thing first.”

“Deal,” he says. “I’m proud of you.”

“You always say that,” Happy says, fixing the notepads on her desk. She’d decided Stella Harvey was a neat freak, which was annoying, because now she has to pretend to care how her desk is organized.

“Because I always am,” Toby says easily. “How’s the baby?”

“Pretty good,” Happy replies. “I think she’s asleep.” Happy yawns. “I think I’m going to be back at the garage soon.”

“Keep it up for only one more hour, then you can be all done,” Toby says. “Hey, what were those papers anyway?”

Happy laughs. “Well, I’m not going to spoil the surprise.”

Toby laughs. “You’re the worst.” There’s a pause. “Come home soon, Hap.”

“On it.”

She waits at her desk, typing, "I'm so fucking bored," over and over again while looking at a blank notebook. She hopes it looks like she's typing up meeting notes.

And finally, finally, her day is over. She bolts out of there like a chicken with its head cut off, and when she pulls into the garage driveway, she feels like she’s finally going to be able to relax.

“Hey!” Toby says, darting out of the garage. Even though she doesn’t need it, she lets him help her out of the car. “Welcome back! You get anything good today? And will you tell me what those papers were?”

“Wait until I get inside,” she says, yawning for the millionth time that afternoon. “I’m not telling this story twice.”

“Okay,” Toby says, walking alongside her. “How are you?”

“Tired,” Happy says pushing open the door. “I hate this job.” Happy groans, collapsing on the couch in the garage. The baby goes nuts, moving around like Happy's relaxation is a personal offense. “Before today, I got nothing. I don’t think anybody I talk to has anything to do with the Beijing thing. But I found these.” She hands Toby a handful of papers. “Everything’s redacted, except I looked at it long enough and figured out that Merrick’s name is in a lot. Or some word with the same number of letters that are similar to Merrick. And, Walter, you got my text, right?”

“You did pattern analysis?” Walter asks, snatching the paper out of Toby’s hands and ignoring Happy’s question. “How did you do pattern analysis? On redacted paperwork?”

Happy glares at him. “I’m pregnant, not stupid,” she says. She adjusts the bright purple dress so her boobs are less likely to spill out of the v neck. “You people seem to forget I’m just as smart as you are.”

“I never forget,” Toby says, reaching out a hand to help her up. Happy stands, resting her hand under her belly.

“Your kid is getting huge, by the way,” she adds. And then it hits again. “Oh, hell,” she grumbles. “More Braxton Hicks.”

“Actual Braxton Hicks?” Toby asks. “Or are these contractions?” He drops down to his knees, level with her belly. “Kid, you still have some lung and brain development to get done. You aren’t full term yet.” He looks up at Happy. “How often has this been happening?”

“It’s Braxton Hicks,” Happy assures him. “They don’t feel good, I’ve got to say.”

“But how frequent are they?” Toby asks. He’s frowning, concern written across his brow.

“I don’t know. This is probably the third time this week.”

Toby stands. “That’s not good.”

Happy wants to reply, but Walter interrupts.

“Happy,” Walter says, searching through the pages, “you did it. Where did you find this document?”

“I found it in the fancy man’s office,” she says. “I ‘sent data to the wrong printer, accidentally’,” she uses her fingers to do air quotes, “and went to pick it up in the administrator’s office, and grabbed this.”

She nods to the papers. “There’s more in my bag. I’m pretty sure it’s relevant to Merrick and Beijing, but I don’t know who sent the documents.”

“We’ll get Molina to figure it out,” Toby says, looking concerned. “I’m still really worried how many Braxton Hicks you’re having.”

“It’s normal,” Happy says, waving him off.

“Not like this.”

She sighs. “Look, we’re fine. Both of us,” she rests her hand on her belly. And then she yawns hugely. “I’m tired, but I’m fine.”

“You’re not cut out for a nine to five job,” Toby laughs, but the humor doesn’t seem genuine.

Walter and Paige are already on the phone, calling Molina and Cooper respectively, and Happy’s glad that this is out of her hands now.

She didn’t want to admit it, but she’s in month nine of pregnancy, and she’s never been more uncomfortable, exhausted, wiped out. She just wants to sleep.

“If you guys are okay with it,” Happy says, yawning, “I think I’m going to take my saving-the-day ass and go home. It’s too damn late.”

“Happy,” Paige says, “it’s five thirty.”

“Whatever, you’re not pregnant,” Happy grumbles. “Do you need anything else?”

“No,” Walter says. “I just talked to Molina. She said she can look into this further, but it’s classified if it’s redacted. We’re going to need White House approval to look into this any further.”

“Ooh,” Toby says, looking elated. “Are we doing classified stuff?”

“Actually, no,” Walter replies, looking a little disappointed. “According to Molina, we’ve been kicked off the job until she gets more information.”

Toby pouts. “So I don’t get to meet the president?”

“Oh, cool it,” Happy says. “Let’s get home.”

“Alright,” Toby concedes. “But if anybody gets to meet the president, I’m going with.”

“Deal,” says Paige. “Now take your girlfriend home before she passes out on the floor.”

Happy yawns, and she’s kind of annoyed that she’s just proving Paige’s point.

“I can drive,” Happy says, waddling out to the car. She can hardly keep her eyes open.

“You can drive,” Toby says, steering her toward the passenger side. “But you shouldn’t, because you’re exhausted.”

“I’m fine,” Happy argues.

Toby opens the passenger side door. “Go. Sit. Sleep on the way home.”

“I’m not going to fall asleep in the car.”

Happy falls asleep in the car.

“Happy,” Toby says, resting his hand on her shoulder, “Happy, sweetheart, we’re home.”

“What?” Happy says, sitting up. “I fell asleep?”

Toby nods. “You’ve been working way too hard. Take the next couple weeks off.”

Happy opens the door. “I’m fine. We're already taking off a bunch of time after the baby's born. I don't want to be bored now.”

But she’s tired as hell and when she finally gets into the apartment, she wants to collapse into bed.

“Hey, you know what?” Toby says, running his hands along her shoulders. “Why don’t you just relax? Spa day.”

“I don’t do spa days,” Happy says, leaning into her touch.

“Okay,” Toby says, “then what if we change into comfy clothes, binge watch Food Network shows in bed, and I’ll give you a back massage whenever you ask.

“Now that sounds good,” Happy says.

She steals a pair of his boxers and one of his shirts to wear to bed.

“Why do you look hot in all of my clothes?” he asks, frowning. “That’s just rude.”

“Your stuff is comfier than mine,” she replies, cuddling next to him. “And it fits over the baby. Got the laptop?”

“Yep,” Toby replies, patting the side of the bed. “I also grabbed you some popcorn and carrot sticks.”

Happy smiles at him. “Really?”

“It’s a weird combination,” Toby says, shrugging, “but whatever you want, I’ll do.”

Happy crawls next to him in bed. “Like a back rub?”

“I can do that,” Toby replies. “Let me put on Chopped first.”

Netflix is on, and Toby’s hands are wonderfully good at working out the knots in Happy’s back. She feels herself begin to doze off.

“You okay?”

“He’s using a basket ingredient as a garnish,” Happy replies. “Of course I’m not okay.”

Toby laughs, pressing his lips to the side of her neck. “It’s really weird how much you watch this show.”

Happy presses back up against his hands. “Don’t stop, Doc. My back still hurts.”

He kisses the back of her neck again. “Okay. Are you going to fall asleep?”

“Probably,” Happy replies, letting her eyes drift closed. “You still going to give me back rubs when the baby’s born?”

“I gave you back rubs before you were pregnant, didn’t I?” he says.

Happy shrugs. “You’ve got a point.”

She listens to the show for a while, Toby’s massage turning into gentle touches, and it’s soft enough that it feels like a lullaby. It’s not long before her closed eyes start to affect the rest of her body.

“You’re falling asleep,” Toby says. “No more Chopped.”

Happy doesn’t argue, and instead under the covers, snuggling up next to Toby.

“You realize we’ve just hit lights out at seven thirty,” Toby mentions.

“Are you complaining?”

“No,” he replies. “Just mentioning.”

Happy snuggles against him, grabbing his arms to wrap them around her waist.

She’s almost asleep when a thought hits her.

“Wait!” Happy exclaims, shooting up in bed.

“Everything okay?” Toby asks, looking bewildered. “Water break? Contractions? Baby coming?”

“No, idiot,” she says, “what are we going to say when I don’t come into work tomorrow morning?”

“Already handled,” Toby says, kissing her shoulder. “The report is that Stella Harvey went into labor,” he checks his watch, “in two hours, actually. You’ll be fine. Stella Harvey didn’t plan on going back to work after having the baby, so nothing’s there to worry about.”

Happy relaxes, resting on her side with her head up against Toby’s chest. “Oh, god, you took care of everything.”

“Well, according to Stella, I’m a very supportive husband.”

Happy pokes him in the stomach. “Don’t be an asshole. Stella’s got a husband. I’ve got a dumbass boyfriend.”

“Who loves you desperately,” he adds. “That’s important to add.”

Happy smiles. “Thanks for helping me in the past few weeks. It was kind of scary, but it was nice to do something while I'm pregnant that actually benefited from it.”

He kisses the top of her head. “I’ll always be there for you. You know that.” He pulls her tight. “You did such an amazing job. None of us could have pulled that off. None of us.”

“That’s because I’m better than all of you,” she mumbles. She already feels sleep beginning to pull her in as Toby’s arm settles so his hand rests on her belly.

“You’re better than everyone,” Toby adds. “Well. Our kid might be better.”

“Our kid’s going to be the best,” Happy replies.

“You’ve got that right,” Toby replies. There's a short pause. “Hey, what if she comes early?”

Happy’s eyes open and she stares in mild horror at the wall. “Excuse me?” She’s wide awake again, all possibilities of an early baby running through her head. “Why the fuck would you say that?”

“Was that a bad thing?” Toby asks, moving his hands. “Oh. That’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not bad,” Happy replies, trying to calm her breathing. “No, it’s not bad, I promise. It’s just that,” she holds her breath for a second, because if she’s not breathing at all she can’t hyperventilate, right? “It’s just that I need all the time I can get to feel ready.”

“I get that,” Toby says after a short silence. “I do.”

There’s something in his tone that makes Happy a little concerned, so she turns over and looks at him. “Are you ready?”

“I will be,” Toby says, staring up at the ceiling, “when she gets here. But until then I think I’m just going to be freaking out internally.”

“Seriously?” Happy asks, sitting up.

Toby finally looks over at her. “Yes,” he replies. “I love the two of you more than anything in the world, but the fact that there’s a tiny human who’s going to be our responsibility and I’m going to be her dad,” he sighs, smiling, “well, that’s a brand new type of terror.”

Happy falls back against the pillows. “So we’re both going to spend the next two to five weeks losing our minds.”

“Yep.”

“And we still have to go to work.”

“Yep.”

“While living with the constant and abject terror that we’re about to be parents.”

Toby looks at her. “I love you.”

“And I think that’s the only reason the two of us haven’t killed each other yet throughout this pregnancy crap,” Happy says, rolling over to rest her head on Toby’s chest. “That love thing.”

“Oh, I’d never feel like killing you,” Toby says. “I’d get in too much trouble without you.”

“We get into enough trouble together,” Happy sighs. Toby's arm rests around her shoulders gently. “We can do this, right?”

“Of course we can,” Toby says. “We’re geniuses. Between the two of us we’ve got every possible skill. Probably.”

“Neither of us can draw,” Happy muses.

“Okay, point there,” Toby says. “We won’t be able to paint any pretty murals or anything. But maybe we’ll get another engineer,” he kisses her forehead, “or a doctor.”

“If I have to live with another psychiatrist, I’m going to lose my mind,” Happy grumbles, but with the weight of her anxiety now shared with Toby, she feels ready to sleep again. She lets her eyes close.

“I love you,” Toby says. “I can’t wait to see our girl.”

“Me either,” Happy replies after a few seconds, but if Toby says anything else, she’s fallen asleep before she can hear it.


	18. Pregnancy, Week 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the fear of pregnancy ends, that just means the fear of parenting slides its way into that void.

Happy wakes up relatively pleased that Walter’s given them the day off. After the situation with Molina and Cooper and rather hilarious misstep in the last mission that would have cost them a lot of humiliation if Happy hadn’t saved their asses, their boss had been a little lenient with them today.

Waking up, though, would be nicer if she hadn’t taken a nap with back pain and woken up with it too. Happy winces, her back tightening every time she moves. “Toby, can you bring me my go bag?”

“On it,” Toby says. “In a minute. Hold on.” She hears some mild cursing and a splash. It’s so concerning that she decides to get up to check on him.

“You’re not in labor, right?” Toby calls, and when Happy walks into the room, there is soup all over the floor.

“No,” Happy replies, “but apparently your water broke.”

“Asshole,” Toby says, grinning at her. “And this is what I get for trying to make you lunch.”

“It’s two-thirty,” Happy says. “I can wait until dinner.”

“Nah,” Toby replies. “I mean, I was hungry too. Also, I may have found some baby clothes organizers on Pinterest.”

Happy settles in one of the kitchen chairs, folding her legs underneath her. “I can’t believe you’re a Pinterest mom,” she says, shaking her head.

“Pinterest Dad,” Toby corrects, tossing the damp paper towels into the trash. “Gender roles are for the 1950’s. Our kid can be a ballerina astronaut construction worker, and she will look damn adorable doing it.”

Happy sighs. “Make me some soup, Pinterest Dad.”

“Actually,” Toby says, smiling sheepishly. “We might be out of soup now. Can I make you a sandwich?”

Happy grins up at him, and when he leans down to kiss her, she smiles more. “A sandwich would be great.”

Happy checks her watch, the baby aiming a damn good kick at some vital organ as she does so. “Hey, so it’s an hour until we go see Dr. Morneau.”

“Yes, it is!” Toby says, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Happy’s belly before he goes back to making a sandwich. “It’s almost baby time, and she knows it.”

“Yeah, that’s not freaking me out at all,” Happy says. “Toby, this is getting real.”

Toby pauses from where he’s mid-mustard. “That’s correct.”

Happy watches him work so hard not to react. She doesn’t know when she got to know him so well, when she began to read him like a book, but it’s almost like he’s holding something back. “Are you freaking out?”

“Oh, definitely,” Toby replies, nodding calmly. “In the three hours you were asleep I found that project on Pinterest, went out and bought materials, labeled everything in the closet, and reorganized. I’m doing a terrible job of holding it together.”

Happy relaxes. “Is it weird that that makes me feel better?”

Toby shakes his head. He puts the final touches on her sandwich and places it in front of her, kissing her forehead. “We’re both terrified together. I think that’s the sign of, like, great future parenting.”

“Let’s hope so,” Happy replies. “The last thing I want to do is fuck up our kid.”

“You’re going to be the best mother,” Toby replies. “Trust me. Everything is going as planned.”

That reigns true until, at their 38 week appointment, Dr. Morneau drops a bombshell.

“You want me to what?” Happy asks, staring at Doctor Morneau.

She sighs. “Happy, I’m sorry, but despite being full term I need to make sure you and the baby stay safe. Braxton Hicks at this frequency concern me.”

“See?” says Toby, gesturing to Dr. Morneau.

Happy glares at him. “But I have to stay home?”

Dr. Morneau nods. “Bed rest is the best option. Not completely – you can walk around a little, but don’t be on your feet for more than an hour or so per day. I don’t want to risk you or the baby having any complications, considering your mother’s history.”

She groans, dropping against the chair. “This is all your fault,” she grumbles in Toby’s direction.

“I’m not disagreeing with you,” Toby says. “But I will agree with her. You need to just take some time for the next few weeks. Relax.”

“Relax?” Happy exclaims. “I’ve missed four cases in the past month because you refused to wake me up.”

Toby turns to Dr. Morneau. “Is a ten hour dead sleep normal?” he asks. “Because that’s where we’ve been for the past month.”

Doctor Morneau nods. “Perfectly normal,” she replies. “Especially with your high-stress job, I wouldn’t expect you to be at your same energy level. In fact,” she says, flipping through Happy’s chart, “I’m actually surprised we haven’t put you on bed rest yet.” She smiles. “You’re a tough cookie, Happy.”

“I better be,” she grumbles, “I’m about to pop out a kid any day now.”

“Hey, not any day,” Toby insists. “We’re going until the seventh or later.”

“Says you,” Happy argues. “I feel like a planet.”

“Pluto’s not a planet anymore,” Toby shoots back.

“See, I was thinking Jupiter,” Happy says. She stands up. “Please tell him he shouldn’t be arguing with his pregnant girlfriend in week 38.”

Dr. Morneau smiles at them. “She’s right, you know.”

By the time they get home, Toby’s offered every possible awesome think he can think of, and Happy’s ready to accept all of them.

“So,” she says, barely even unbuckled before Toby rushes to the front of the car and opens the door for her, “are we thinking bath first or massage?”

“Whatever you want,” Toby says.

Happy shifts to the ground, and frowns. “Uh oh.”

“What?”

“More Braxton Hicks, I think,” Happy says.

“You think?” Toby asks.

“They feel a little different.”

Toby’s eyes widen hugely, looking somehow both panicked and steady. “Braxton Hicks are inconsistent and less painful,” he says calmly, “and real contractions hurt more and are consistent, to the extent of being timed.”

“Oh,” says Happy. “Okay. So I just had something weird that could have been either one of those.”

“Did it hurt?” Toby asks.

She shrugs. “Not as much as the time that metal thing fell on my leg.”

“So, probably still Braxton,” Toby says calmly. “But just to be safe, let’s get you in the house and make sure the go bag is ready to, well, go.”

By the time they get into the house, Toby’s rushing around, collecting everything they could possibly need.

“Need any help?” Happy asks, tapping her fingers on top of her belly. The baby kicks at her. “Also, she kicked. That mean anything?”

Toby considers it. “I think that means you’re probably not about to give birth. Where’d you feel it?”

Happy points to the left side of her belly.

“Okay, so she hasn’t rotated yet,” Toby says clinically. “I’m going to go with Braxton Hicks. But drink some water, just in case.”

“Why?”

“Because that combined with rest and a Toby Curtis massage,” he says, kissing her forehead, “are the best ways to calm down Braxton Hicks contractions.”

Happy settles on the couch with a glass of water, and Toby sets up the go bag at the door.

“Hey, which book are you reading?” He holds up two books on engineering and _What to Expect When You’re Expecting._

“All three,” Happy replies.

He sets them in the bag cheerily. “I’m rubbing off on you,” he says, sounding pleased. “Knew it would happen some day.”

She rolls her eyes. “You get stranger and stranger as the days go by.”

He sits behind her on the couch, gently rubbing up and down her back. “Massage time?”

“Oh, thank god, finally.” She’ll admit it to no one but Toby, but she’s always in pain, she’s always exhausted, and she hates being pregnant. This pregnancy thing hurts more than she’d ever expected, and she hasn’t even given birth yet. She might be tough, but this is harder than anybody warned her.

Toby laughs, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she mumbles. “Now back rub.”

Toby starts with her shoulders then moves down.

“Getting your lower back is really difficult,” he grumbles, “I keep sinking into the couch.”

“Blame your daughter,” Happy quips back. “Because you’re getting big, now,” she runs her hand along her belly, “aren’t you.”

“Big?!” Toby exclaims. “You heard what Dr. Morneau said. She’s tiny. 40th percentile.”

“I was 40th percentile my whole damn life,” Happy argues, “and I turned out fine.”

“Yeah, well, if she turns out as tiny and brilliant as you, we’re both screwed.”

“Maybe you are,” Happy jokes, “but I think I could handle her fine.”

Toby scoffs. “Yeah, right,” he says. “Ten minutes into the first argument when she’s a teenager and we’re all going to lose our minds.”

Happy goes silent. “Oh, wow,” she says quietly. “Fourteen years from now we’re going to have a teenager.”

“Yeah, that freaked me out too when I said it,” says Toby. “Also, can you move forward? Trying to get that knot out.”

Happy tries, but she’s stuck in her spot. She groans. “This baby can’t come fast enough.”

“She’ll be here faster than we know it,” Toby says soothingly.

“Yeah,” says Happy, “and then she’ll grow up so damn fast we won’t know what hit us.”

It’s another few minutes before Happy’s back is tolerable again, but even so Toby’s insistent that she lay down.

“You’re not walking around,” Toby says. “Go to bed.”

“No.”

Toby gives her the Doctor Look. “Bed.”

“Usually when you’re demanding we go to bed, I’m in for something that’s at least fun,” Happy grumbles. “I haven’t had fun in weeks.”

“Shush, you,” Toby laughs.

They walk to the bedroom, and Happy immediately realizes she’s missing everything that would make bed rest tolerable. Toby has to get the go bag because it has all her books in it from him packing it up earlier.

“And get me some orange juice?” she adds.

“Orange juice, got it,” Toby replies.

He returns with the bag, orange juice, and a massive bottle of water.

“Hydration is key,” he says.

Happy lies back on the bed, and Toby settles next to her.

“She doesn’t look that big, now that I’m thinking about it,” Happy mumbles, running her hands over her stomach. “Look, she’s tiny.”

“I mean,” Toby says, looking at her belly, “she’s bigger than she was.”

Happy looks at him. “Astute observation, Sherlock.”

He leans in and presses a kiss to her stomach, and the baby kicks at the pressure.

“Hey!” Toby says. “You need to not do that, kid. Not cool.”

“Already beating us up,” Happy says. “That didn’t take long.”

Toby yawns, stretching. “I know it’s only six,” he says, “but I’m totally ready for bed. You?”

“I could sleep,” Happy decides, even though this is the third time in two weeks they’ve been in bed before eight.

“I,” Toby says with a grin, “was talking to Laura-slash-Melody.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Well, she likes to sleep when I’m not sleeping. And apparently I’m going to be sleeping all the time now, so she’ll never sleep.”

When Happy looks over at him, he’s beaming at her.

“What now?” she asks, but she can’t fight a smile.

“I’m just really excited to meet her,” she says. “I know we decided to name her once we see her, but…” He trails off. “God, I can’t wait.”

“Me either,” Happy says, tracing her hands on her stomach. The baby shifts and moves slightly, and it’s gotten to be a slightly less weird feeling. “She’s going to be so freakin’ awesome.”

“No kidding,” Toby says, kissing Happy’s belly, “take a look at her mom.”

* * *

Bed rest, Happy decides the next morning when she wakes up and isn’t allowed to get up, is the absolute worst thing ever invented.

“I’m fine!” Happy argues as Toby leaves the room. “I don’t need to stay here.”

“According to the doctor, yeah, you do,” he shouts back. “Plus, I’m baking you a cake. Stop whining.”

“You’re buying me a cake,” Happy corrects.

“Same difference.”

She thinks he’s left, but instead he darts back in and grabs his wallet from the bedside table. “Forgot this,” Toby says. He kisses her quickly and leaves. “Love you! You’re amazing! Bye!”

The baby kicks a couple of times.

“I know,” Happy says to her. “He’s annoying.”

She’s always felt strange talking to her daughter, but with her due date fourteen days away, she assumes the baby can hear her. Toby’s been having conversations with her stomach for months now.

“Hey, you,” Happy tries out. “Laura,” she says, “or Melody. Or whatever.”

No response from the baby.

“Okay, we’re still working on the name,” Happy says. “I just want to tell you, I’m not going to be good at this right off.”

The baby moves.

“I’m going to try though,” Happy says, feeling a little scared. “I promise, baby girl,” she says, using Toby’s nickname, “I’m going to – do or do not,” she says. “I’m not going to try. I’m going to do it.”

She rubs her belly, the baby shifting only slightly at this point. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” Happy says. “I don’t think I’ll ever know what I’m doing. But I’ll figure it out, okay? Because,” she tries to control herself, tears threatening, “because you’re already the most important part of my life. I love your dad, but,” she feels the first tear roll down her cheek, “I don’t even have words for you.”

She sits there silently, resting her hands on her stomach, feeling the baby do things that feel like dance moves. She’s never really been a crier, but right now she can’t stop it. All the anxiety about being pregnant is getting replaced by the reality that she’s going to be a mom soon, whether she’s ready or not, and it’s a lot to handle.

“I’m so scared,” Happy confesses. “I don’t want to hurt you. Ever. And I want you to know that. I’m never going to give up on you. I swear.”

She’s quiet for a minute.

“Happy things,” she decides. “We’re going to take about happy things. Your dad’s pretty great,” Happy says quietly. “Not really sure where I’d be if I hadn’t met him, to be honest.” She smiles, the day running through her mind. “Walter – you know Walter, he’s the condescending one – came into the garage after being gone for two straight days with this street rat in a stupid hat and a dumb little smile. And – don’t you tell him this, baby girl – my first thought was that he was cute for being so scruffy.

“The first thing he said to me,” Happy continues, “was, ‘Hey, you’re not going to kick my ass, right?’ Apparently I intimidated him the first time we met.” She laughs. “I don’t think that’s ever stopped, actually.” She pauses, letting the memory wash over her. “It’s been six years. And back then, he was engaged to Amy. You probably won’t hear that much about her, but I figured she’s an important part of Dad’s life, so I should mention her to you at least once. They were going to get married, but…” Happy trails off. “Baby girl, your dad has some stuff going on. He hasn’t gambled in a really long time, but he might in the future. And we need to make sure that only happens once if it happens at all, okay? Because it’s probably going to happen.” She pauses.

“Maybe not. I don’t know. I guess I just don’t trust people all that easily.” She sighs. “I should work on that.” Happy hasn’t spoken on her own for this long in her life, and somehow it gets easier the more she says.

“I’m not perfect, though,” Happy clarifies. “I’m pretty distant and I do what your dad calls the ‘asshole thing’ when I’m really angry. But I’ll save that for him or maybe for Walter when he really deserves it, deal? Whenever you need me, no matter how angry I am, I’m going to listen to you.”

Happy yawns. “And I think I just bored myself to sleep. I blame you, baby girl.”

The baby moves a little bit, and Happy rubs her hand over the spot, the closest she can get to a hug.

“I think I’m going to sleep now,” Happy mumbles. “Just a nap until your dad gets home, because he’s bringing me cake and that should be amazing.” She pauses. “And orange juice, because you’re obsessed with orange juice. You’re as weird as your dad, baby girl, I hope you know that. But in a good way.”

Happy curls around a pillow and falls asleep within minutes.

* * *

 

She’s woken by footsteps in the bedroom.

“Hey, Doc,” she says, pushing herself to sitting up. Sleeping on her side is getting almost as annoying as the whole weird cravings thing.

“I knew you’d pass out,” Toby laughs. “But, I got red velvet cake.”

“Awesome,” Happy says. “Cravings are obnoxious. But cake is great.”

“I might have also gotten some waffle mix, because I found myself really wanting waffles.”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “Now you’re having pregnancy cravings?”

He sits down next to her on the bed. “Apparently. How are you feeling?”

Happy shrugs. “I’m okay. I just really want to get up and do something. I’m bored as hell.”

“Board games?”

“No,” Happy says firmly. “I’m never playing Risk with you again. I’ve never seen a temper tantrum like that in my life.”

Toby looks affronted. “It wasn’t a temper tantrum!” he argues. “You took Australia and I got pissed. That was exactly an appropriate reaction.”

Happy laughs.

“And I hate to say this, but, Walter needs me at the garage,” Toby says, sitting next to her on the bed. Happy pushes herself up to sitting, which takes longer than she wants to admit. “You mind if I head out for a few hours?”

Happy shakes her head. “Do what you want, dude. If I go into labor I’ll give you a call.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Toby says very seriously. “I don’t want you to go into labor alone or even without me. You’re the kind of person who’d get contractions for six hours and not say anything.”

“No I wouldn’t!” Happy argues.

Toby raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe one hour,” she admits. “But still. I think we’re good.”

Toby leans in and kisses her, just enough to make her head spin a little bit, and then pulls away. “See you later, Hap.”

And he’s off again.

Happy’s been alone for so long that she should be used to the quiet left behind when someone leaves the room, but now that she’s been living with Toby for more than a year, she hates the silence. It’s more meaningful when he’s there, when his breathing is the only sound in the room. But now, when she’s sitting there with nothing to echo along the walls, she hates it.

“Baby, you better be cute,” she grumbles. “Because as much as I hate silence right now, I think I’m going to miss it in some ways.” She pats her belly, and the baby moves slightly, like she doesn’t have room anymore. “It’s got to be pretty cramped in there, huh? I can tell. I think your butt is squished up into my spleen.” She shifts, just enough to make the baby land on her bladder. “Of course you did,” Happy grumbles. “If I wasn’t microbladder before, I am now.”

She waddles to the bathroom, arguing with herself on whether a quick shower is something she could handle, but she finally decides on sitting on the couch and plowing through Toby’s Netflix list. Happy won’t admit it, but she’s weirdly obsessed with Cupcake Wars.

The knock on the door two sandwiches and an hour later is unexpected.

“If you’re a burglar,” Happy shouts, “be aware you’re dealing with an angry pregnant lady with too much expertise in metal weapons.”

“I’m not burgling,” comes a familiar voice. “I’m coming to visit.”

Happy opens the door to see Paige standing there with a bag and a big grin. “Surprise!”

“Hey, Paige,” Happy says, stepping aside to let her in, except it only puts her belly in the way instead of her body. “Isn’t Walter annoyed that two of us aren’t at work?”

“Nope,” Paige replies, setting her things down on the counter. “They’re all playing around with some toy they’ve decided is their next big project for their next version Elia, so I figured I’d come here and not deal with Walter and Toby arguing over literally everything.”

Happy shrugs. “That makes sense.”

The television and shared chips and hummus are a perfect echo in the apartment, a comfortable quiet that Happy appreciates.

And then a question pops into her head that she can’t ask anyone else in the world.

“Hey, Paige?”

“What’s up?”

Happy opens her lips, tries to ask. “Never mind.”

“No, ask,” Paige says. “Is this about parenting or having the baby?”

Happy looks at her. “How did you –”

“Because anything mechanical, you’d ask your dad, anything personal or in general you’d ask Toby, anything mathematical you’d ask Sly, and anything brain related you’d ask Walter.” She smiles at Happy. “Baby stuff is my expertise.”

Happy accepts reading. “Okay, you’ve got me. I was just wondering,” she pauses, trying to find the right words, “is it as bad as everyone says?”

“Labor?” Paige asks.

Happy nods.

“Yes,” Paige replies quickly, “and no. The baby gets there and,” she smiles, memories clear across her eyes, “and you hold this little new person in your arms, and suddenly all the stress and terror and pain isn’t important. You have a new person who already knows you from their first moment. And that’s what matters.”

“You can’t be serious,” Happy says, turning to grab her water. “It’s gone? Just like that?”

“No,” Paige replies. “It’s just not important anymore. The pain’s still there, you feel it a little bit, but it fades into the background. The terror isn’t about can you have the baby or will the pregnancy kill you, it’s ‘holy crap this child is mine and I’m responsible for it.’ And the stress isn’t ‘can I do this’ it’s ‘how am I going to do this.’”

Happy stares at her. “That sounds horrible.”

“Except you get to meet her,” Paige explains. “Before I had him, Ralph was just sort of an abstract concept. I mean,” she shrugs. “I knew I was pregnant, of course. But I didn’t know who he would be or what it would be like to hold him.” She smiles. “And then he was here, this tiny little kid, and he had the biggest blue eyes and the scruchiest face. And he was suddenly everything in my world.”

“So there are good things?” Happy half jokes. Because so much of this pregnancy, of the excitement, has been tainted with panic and fear, and she needs to remember that she’s doing this for a reason, for something wonderful.

“Yes,” Paige reassures her, only laughing a little bit. “Wait until she smiles at you for the first time. Or laughs? You’ll never be the same again.”

Happy rests her hand on her belly. “Stretch marks?”

“Never going away,” Paige replies, smile fading. “I still kind of look like a tiger in the wrong light. 19 year old Paige thought they’d go away, but they’re still there.”

“Ew,” Happy replies, pouting. “Well, I’ve never been somebody to go topless.”

Paige snorts when she laughs. “That’d be an interesting day at the garage.” They laugh for a minute, then Paige gives Happy this look she can’t translate. “There’s something else,” Paige says softly. “And I want you to know, it’s normal.”

“The fact that they have to mess around with your uterus after giving birth?” Happy replies. “Like push on it? Yeah, I know that.” she wrinkles her nose. “They didn’t put that on any of the TV specials.”

Paige shakes her head. “No, I mean,” she sighs. “A few days, or weeks, or months after you have the baby, you might just,” she shrugs. “You might feel like everything’s gone, like you’re nothing but a walking milk machine. You’re not.”

“I know that,” Happy replies, feeling a little defensive.

“You know that now,” Paige explains. “But – postpartum depression isn’t a joke. If you start feeling down, like things don’t make a lot of sense, talk to somebody. Anybody.”

“Well, my boyfriend’s a shrink,” Happy replies.

Paige smiles at her. “Talk to somebody else. He might not quite get it.”

“Are you saying you get it?” Happy asks.

Paige shrugs. “I went from being a cheerleading sophomore in college with a social life, a boyfriend, and easy classes to being a full time mom barely keeping up with those same classes and a boyfriend who came by the apartment once a day if I was lucky.” Her smile is sad, mournful. “Ralph is the best thing that ever happened to me, but it didn’t come without a lot of sacrifice and heartbreak.”

Happy’s never seen Paige like this before. Things she had hidden since she decided to raise this baby, thoughts she’s been scared of for ages, now feel acceptable and reasonable. She’s not terrified of how she feels anymore.

“And it’s normal?” Happy asks, because the idea of giving up working at the garage to be a full time mom and only a full time mom scares the daylights out of her.

“Yes,” Paige replies. “Besides. Without you, the team would collapse. We’re the only ones who hold it together.” She pats Happy’s hand, and Happy’s surprised to notice she doesn’t draw her hand away. It feels okay. “You’re going to be great at this.”

Happy nods. “Yeah. Tell me that a month from now when I have an infant who’s constantly screaming and won’t let me sleep.”

“Oh, about that,” Paige says. “You need a break? Call people. Seriously. You’re not supposed to do this alone.”

“I’ve got Toby,” Happy replies. “I think we’ll be fine.”

“No, I mean you,” Paige replies. “It’s really easy to become a homebody. You’re exhausted and still kind of achy, but you’ve got to make time for yourself. So call me, or Patrick, or, god, even Cabe, and we’ll come babysit while you go to see a movie with Toby. Do real human things.”

“Nobody tells you this shit,” Happy grumbles, adjusting her legs under herself. “Nobody warns you about these things.”

“Correct,” Paige says. “If we knew all of this pre-babies, do you think any woman would go through this? The human race would die out.”

“Good point,” Happy replies.

They’re silent for a while, watching intently as the next set of cupcakes are judged (Paige, apparently, is also a fan) until Happy asks, “Would you do it again?”

“Do what?”

“Have another kid,” Happy explains.

Paige shrugs. “If it happens, it happens,” she replies. “I don’t know how Walter feels about having babies, to be honest. But I’d want to get married first.”

Happy eyes her. “Is that a dig at me and Toby?”

“No!” Paige exclaims, looking shocked. “No, of course not. I just mean I’d rather have Walter commit to a wedding before a baby factors into the equation. Make sure he’s locked in.”

“Got it,” Happy replies.

“Would you want to get married?” Paige asks.

Happy shrugs. “Probably. I think it’d be good for her,” she points to her belly. “Married parents and all that.”

“You could be the Quinns,” Paige replies. “Oh, god. Dr. Quinn, medicine man. You should get married just for that reason.”

The conversation devolves mostly into making up ridiculous names for Toby, which makes it priceless when he walks in during Paige’s rendition of Dr. Toby Quinn doing his Shrink Face.

“What the hell?”

“Oh, that’s you,” Happy explains, grinning up at him. “That’s your Shrink Face.”

“I don’t look like that.”

“Yes,” Paige explains, dropping the act. “You do. Just wait. I’ll get a photo of it sometime.”

Happy would have kept teasing Toby, but he brought home dinner, so she figures it wouldn’t be all that kind.

“The rest of the team is coming over, too,” Toby explains, settling the food on the counter. “I hope that’s okay.”

Happy shrugs. “Half of the team is already here. That’s fine with me.”

The volume in their apartment sky rockets in no time at all as everyone comes into their apartment, but Happy finds it comforting. She isn’t sure when she changed from someone who likes silence to someone who enjoys a houseful of noise, but she is.

Happy settles back on the couch while the Cabe gets her another glass of water, and thinks that, if this is family, her daughter’s going to be the luckiest kid in the world.


	19. Pregnancy, Week 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy's not the only one brimming with nerves.

Happy’s never been good at sitting still, staying put, doing what she’s told. It’s gotten her in a lot of trouble in her life, but it’s a personality trait. It's not like she can change it.

Which means that she’s giving Toby a run for his money with this bedrest thing.

“Go back to bed!” Toby shouts from the nursery. “You’re not allowed to be standing up.”

“I’m allowed to walk around for an hour a day.”

Toby peeks his head around the door. “Not all at the same time.”

Happy groans and sits in the rocking chair, her back killing her. “Fine. I’m sitting. Happy now?”

“No,” Toby says with a dorky grin, “you’re Happy.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Bad joke,” she says. “Seriously, though, what are you doing awake?”

“Trying to finish the nursery,” Toby replies, pushing at the mobile above the crib.

“We finished it weeks ago,” Happy says. “Months ago, actually. Go to bed.”

“I know, but I just – I want to be sure,” Toby finally admits. “She’s almost here, and I don’t feel any more prepared than I did the day we found out we were expecting her.”

Happy shrugs. “You might not feel it, but we are.”

“But what if she doesn’t like dollhouses?” Toby asks, adjusting the position of the house for probably the thirtieth time. “I don’t want to force it on her. The room’s already purple.”

“Perwinkle,” Happy corrects. “Which, as you said, was a perfect blend between pink and blue. And did you miss the baby basketball hoop in the corner?”

Toby nods. “I just don’t want to make her think we’re pressuring her to be some sort of superstar from day one.”

Happy raises an eyebrow, folding her legs underneath herself. It throws the balance of the chair off a little bit, but Happy’s able to steady it without alerting Toby. “And a dollhouse is going to do that?”

“I don’t know,” Toby says, tone growing a little frantic. “I’ve never done this before. She’s not going to think we’re trying to force her into becoming a stay-at-home mom, is she? I mean, if she wants to be, that’s fine, but I don’t want to enforce gender roles.” He drops his head between his knees. “Oh, man, do we need more superheroes?”

Happy knows it would be mean to laugh at Toby’s mild meltdown, so instead she just points to the Avengers clock on the wall and the baby Batman poster as she says, “You need to chill out.”

He exhales and leans against the crib. “I do,” he says. “I do. It’s not fair for me to stress out when you’re the one who’s about to drop a shorty any day now.”

“Drop a shorty?” Happy asks. The baby shifts, a strong pressure against Happy's belly that feels mildly like stretching a near-to-popping balloon. “See? Even she thinks that’s a weird term.”

“Is it?” Toby asks, talking directly to the baby. “Well, whatever. As long as nobody gets born in the middle of a hospital fungus outbreak, it’ll be the best birthday I’ve ever been a part of. But hold out another week, because you have six more days before your due date and there’s some important brain and lung development you still need to get done.”

“You know, I remembered a song my parents listened to when my mom was pregnant,” Happy says, looking down at Toby. “How are you going to feel when our kid’s first words are, ‘Daddy, you talk too much’?”

“Then we’ll know she’s just like her mommy,” Toby presses a kiss to Happy’s belly and stands. “Now, time for dinner.” He kisses the tip of Happy’s nose. “I made something great.”

“You ordered pizza,” Happy argues with a laugh.

“Fine,” says Toby. “I ordered something great.”

He takes her hand and brings her to the kitchen, but he’s shaking. Another look at him, and Happy realizes he’s more panicked than she’s seen since they found out she was pregnant.

“What’s up with you today?” she asks as she leans against the refrigerator.

“Hmm?” he says. “No, I’m fine.”

Happy raises an eyebrow.

“I’m getting nervous,” Toby mumbles.

“That’s obvious.”

“No, Happy,” he sits down, dropping his head into his hands. He’s silent for a moment but for his breathing, like he’s trying to steady himself. “Happy, what if I can’t – what if I’m not a good father?”

Happy stares at him. “Shut up.”

“What?”

“Shut,” Happy says, pulling out a chair and sitting down, “up. There’s no way you’re going to be bad at being a parent.”

He looks harried, distracted. And then she recognizes something else. Toby looks guilty, and the worry settles inside her even as he begins to speak.  “I need to tell you something, and I deserve whatever you’re going to throw at me.”

Unfettered terror washes over Happy’s body like ice cold water, and she just stares at him, waiting for him to speak.

“I had some,” he pauses, searching for words, “friends call me the other day. They wanted me to come to a game, run a hustle.” He runs his hands over his face, fingertips shaking. “I would have been in for 25% of the cut. Of a million bucks, at least, they promised.”

“What are you saying?” Happy asks slowly. She doesn’t want to believe it. She doesn’t want him to admit that he’s broken his promise, risked so much.

She doesn’t want to believe he let her down.

“I wanted to gamble, to jump back in there,” he rushes out, “I didn’t do it!” he says, getting a look at Happy’s expression. “No, Happy, I swear,” he holds out his hand, and Happy rests her hand on top of his, patting gently.

“I believe you,” she says.

He breathes in shakily, searching her face like he’s ready to find some sign in her eyes that she’s angry with him. “I almost broke my promise, Happy. I don’t want to.”

She nods slowly. “But you didn’t,” she says, gripping his hand. “You didn’t gamble.”

“No,” Toby says, voice half shattered.

“Exactly” Happy says, “so calm down. Breathe. We’re okay.”

Toby nods. “I know. I promised I wouldn’t. And I won’t.”

“But if you do –”

“I won’t,” Toby says.

“But if you want to, you come to me,” Happy says. “And I’ll punch you so hard you forget why you wanted to gamble.” She points to her belly. “The two of us had a conversation about all that business a little while ago, and the two of us are ready to kick your ass if you screw up. You don't need that kind of rush anymore - you've got parenting to deal with.” She smiles at him, trying to tell him that it's going to be okay. Because it will be, if they can just get through this moment."

Toby’s face finally cracks into a smile. He drops his head on top of her hand where it rests on the table on top of his. “Happy, I’m so scared.”

“Yeah?” Happy says, running her fingers through his hair. “Well, I am too. I’m terrified. But there’s no going back now.”

Toby pulls his head up so quickly that Happy’s hand goes flying. “I don’t want to go back,” Toby says. “Do – do you?”

Happy shakes her head. “Not at all,” she says with clarity that surprises her. Toby holds her hand tightly. “We’re having a baby and it’s going to be awesome. It’s just pretty intimidating. And now that she’s settling down –”

“Which is normal,” Toby says. “Sometimes when they’re getting ready to make their grand entrance they slow down a little.”

Happy nods. “Yeah, you told me. But it’s making it feel even more real. She’ll be here by this time next month without a doubt.”

Toby nods, and he stands, pulling her up with him. “Probably even sooner,” he says, taking her hand. He spins her like they did all that time ago on the college campus, but when she goes to rest her cheek on his chest, her belly gets in the way.

“Baby,” says Toby very seriously, “you’re throwing off my groove."

Happy takes a half step back, but Toby doesn’t let go of her hand, and taking the other one and resting it against his chest, his thumb stroking the side of her hand

“You should come sooner,” Toby says quietly, and Happy knows he’s saying it for her sake. “Because I’m so excited to meet you. I can’t wait to be your dad, baby girl.”

Happy hugs Toby from the side, because this kid is really cramping her style, and Toby wraps his arms around her.

“I’m going to hold it together from now on,” Toby says quietly, pressing a kiss to Happy’s forehead. “I’m sorry I didn’t tonight.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Happy says, “thanks for being honest with me.”

Toby rests a hand on her belly. “Thanks for being with me.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that so instead she just pulls him down to kiss him, trying to tell him that it’s going to be okay even though she’s got the same fears about being a parent that he does.

“I love you so much,” he croaks out, and, unexpectedly, he’s crying.

“Hey, stop the crying thing,” Happy says. “Okay? We can do this.”

“It’s a stress response,” Toby says, trying to steady his breathing. “I’ll be good in a second.”

Happy stands on her toes to kiss him. “Cool your jets, stress response. We can handle this.”

He nods. “Yeah, we can.”

“Oh, hey,” says Toby after they stand in the kitchen, silent, for a few minutes. “We have pizza.”

“We do,” Happy replies.

“You need to go lay down!” Toby says, looking like a sudden clarity washed over him. “This stress is not good for the baby. Go get into the bedroom. We’re doing dinner in bed.”

“That doesn’t seem like a good idea –” Happy begins, but she’s shuffled into the bedroom before she can finish her thought. “Okay then.”

She settles in bed, and Toby argues with her for two minutes before accepting that she can be sitting instead of laying down on her side like he wants her to be, and Toby brings in the entire box of pizza.

“I know I’m eating for two,” Happy says, a little befuddled, “but I’m not sure we can eat all of this.”

“We can try,” Toby says determinedly. “Also, one of these is a cookie pizza.”

“You ordered a cookie pizza?” she asks. “What in the hell…?”

“No idea!” Toby replies, looking excited. “But I figured, hey. One of our weekends as a couple instead of a trio. Why not go for the cookie pizza.”

“You’re weird.”

“You love it.”

Happy shifts every two or so minutes to get more comfortable, making it absurdly difficult to eat her pizza, and she’s beginning to wonder if getting induced isn’t such a bad idea after all. And then she gets annoyed at herself, because she knows what she wants and doesn't want to let a little discomfort get in the way of the entire process she and Toby had planned out.

“Hey, Toby,” she says. “We’ve got the birth plan written out, right?”

“Yep,” he replies. “Hard copy in the bag, digital on my phone. Why?”

“Just wanted to make sure that I don’t do something stupid and ask for Pitocin,” she explains. “No induction, drugs if I decide on them, do anything we can not to have a c-section.”

“Right,” Toby replies. “Unless we have to. Because, sometimes, it’s medically necessary.”

Happy looks at him. “Don’t make me hire a doula. If you let those doctors convince you into a c-section when I don’t have to, I’ll murder you once I’ve recovered.”

Toby raises his hands in surrender. “I wasn’t going to do anything like that,” he says, looking bewildered. “Like, never. No. Your uterus, your rules. I’m just saying –”

“I need you to have my back on this,” Happy says, and she doesn’t know why this is so important, but it is. “I trust Dr. Morneau, but if somebody else is there, if we don’t get to do this with the doctor I’m okay with, I’m going to need you to pull the Harvard card to make sure nobody does that stupid internal fetal monitor, induction, c-section stuff.”

“You hate it when I use the Harvard card,” Toby replies, looking confused.

“Yeah, well,” she shrugs. “In this case? Pull it as much as you need. We’re going by the plan unless it’s drastic.” And then she gets why she’s freaking out. “Oh, fuck, what if it goes drastic?” She tries to calm her breathing, realizing she’s getting a little frantic, and looks over at Toby. “It’s going to be okay, right?”

“Hey, come here,” Toby says, pulling her close. Between her belly, the pizza, and the boxes, it’s a more difficult feat than either of them realized, but they manage it. “You can do this, okay? I know you can. You’re a superhero.”

“That’s a weird thing to say.”

“No,” Toby says, and he sounds so serious and so honest that it’s a little disarming. “Because you are.” He looks at her in that way of his. “You’re so brave, and so strong. I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, well,” Happy grumbles, resting her head on his chest. “I may have accidentally read some horror stories of what happens when doctors make decisions the patients aren’t comfortable with, and I sort of freaked out.”

Toby sighs. “That probably wasn’t the greatest decision.”

“I wanted to be informed,” Happy says, half laughing at herself. “It’s actually worse than reading about the microcephaly and that one with the organs being outside of the baby’s body. Because it’s the doctors getting all God complex-y and wanting to do the surgery.” She does Toby's breathing thing. "And as much as you call yourself god complex, I know other people can be a lot worse."

“Hey, unless something gets scary,” Toby says, “no c-section. I promise – nobody will get in between you and me. I’ll be there the whole time.”

“And if there’s a case?” Happy asks, a concern that's been brewing in her mind. "If you aren't there?"

“Paige,” Toby replies. “We’ll give her a copy of the birth plan, if you want.”

Happy shakes her head. “Tempting fate. I’ll have her read it if she’s the one there. Also,” she adds, a semi horrible thought popping into her head, “no Walter.”

“Oh, god no,” Toby says, looking horrified. “No Walter. In any of this.”

“He’ll be Ralph’s responsibility,” Happy jokes.

“You know,” Toby says thoughtfully, “that might not be such a bad idea. Assign Walter to Ralph babysitting when it’s really the other way around?”

“Works for me. We’ll let Paige know.” She hesitates. “I need to call her now.”

Toby nods. “Already have the phone out.”

Happy smiles at him and dials.

“What’s wrong?” Paige says. “Are you in labor? Is Toby there?” Happy hears shuffling and a man’s voice shout, “Paige, those are my pants!”

“Chill, Paige,” Happy laughs. “No labor. I’m fine.”

“Oh, good,” Paige says. “Because I was about to throw on Walter’s jeans, and they really don’t fit. What’s up?”

“Walter,” Happy explains. “If I go into labor at the garage, I want him nowhere near me.”

“Really?”

“He’s going to go all clinical,” Happy adds. “I won’t need clinical. I’ll need everyone to shut up.”

Paige laughs. “Okay. Duly noted.”

“And I want to tell him his job is to babysit Ralph.”

“Why?”

“Because if he’s taking care of Ralph,” Happy explains, “then he won't be trying to logic the baby out of me.”

“That,” Paige says, “is a great idea.”

“I’m full of them!” Toby shouts through a mouthful of cookie.

“I’ll tell Ralph about the plan,” Paige says. “Have a good night, you two. Enjoy the last few days before she gets here.”

“We will,” Happy agrees. And she hangs up the phone.

She’s quiet for a few minutes, taking a bite of the ridiculous cookie pizza while she mulls everything over. She’s leaning against Toby’s chest, his arm around her shoulder. It’s nice to be just the two of them, and now that Toby’s learned how to enjoy silence instead of fight it, she’s fallen even more in love with him.

Happy and Toby manage to finish both the regular and cookie pizzas on their own, and they end up spending the rest of the night doing nothing, cuddled up in bed with shows mindlessly playing in the background. At times they kiss lazily, soft and sweet with nothing else expected of it. It’s wonderful. Happy isn’t sure how this is where her life turned, but she loves it.

“It’s going to be a long time before we do something like this again, isn’t it,” Happy says quietly.

“What do you mean?” Toby asks, trailing his fingertips along her arm.

“Quiet,” Happy replies. “Us on our own, watching TV with absolutely nothing else in the way. It’s going to be, what, five years until she sleeps through the night?”

Toby laughs. “Six months.”

“For you,” Happy shoots back. “Somebody has to nurse, and I don’t think it would work for you to give it a try.”

Toby shrugs. “Okay, point taken. So two years old.”

“Tantrums,” Happy shoots back. “Night terrors. Come on, Doc, you’ve got to be better at this.”

“I am good at this!” he replies. “We’ll get a sitter. Get a hotel for the night, take some time for use just to spend together I promise.” He kisses the top of her head. “As much as I adore our daughter, I’m going to make time for us, okay? Always.”

“Deal,” Happy says. She rests her had on his chest and takes the time to listen to his heartbeat, steady and strong. She can feel herself starting to doze off.

“Hey, Toby,” she mumbles, sleep threatening rather quickly.

“What’s up, Hap?”

“Glad we’re going to be parents together,” she replies, her voice barely more than whisper.

“Me too, Happy,” he replies, kissing the top of her head. “Me too.”


	20. Pregnancy, Week 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's past her due date. And she's not as terrified as she thought she would be.

Another week, another seven days in bed. It’s reaching a new level of annoyance and boredom, and every minute Happy wonders if there’s a case she should be working on, if there are people dying or scared because she and Toby aren’t there to help.

She gets it, she really does, that she needs to stay safe and quiet for the rest of her pregnancy, not just for her sake but for the baby’s. But it’s really cramping her style and she misses the feel of metal tools in her hands. Lately it’s only been a remote control and whatever pieces to whatever board game Toby’s pulled out.

He’s beaten her at Clue six times now, but every time Risk or Monopoly comes out, she creams him like nobody’s business.

Happy checks her phone almost daily to see if Walter’s called, but usually it’s only messages from her father or from Paige checking up on her. On her due date she got a picture from Ralph saying, “Any day now! We miss you!”

They’d worked out a plan where Toby, from this point on, will only get calls when it’s a case they can’t do without him. Happy argued that for ages, uncomfortable with the idea that her pregnancy is interfering with their lives, but Toby wouldn’t hear anything.

“I’m not leaving you unless you say it’s okay and they say they can’t do it without me,” Toby had said firmly. “It’s got to be life or death.”

“Your life is going to have an early death if you don’t stop treating me like glass,” Happy had grumbled.

“You know that’s not true,” Toby had replied. “And I know you hate this – you’re not a sit around kind of person. But it won’t last too long.” He rested his hand on her cheek and gave her this smile that said he knows how much she’s sacrificing through this pregnancy, that he’ll do everything he can to let things go back to normal when their daughter gets here. “You’re not going to lose what makes you, you, and we’re almost at the finish line.”

“It feels wrong not to be at work, especially for you,” Happy had sighed. “Like we’ve got our priorities wrong.”

“Right now, you’re my priority,” Toby had replied simply. “You and the baby. That’s it. I don’t want to risk leaving you guys on your own if it’s not worth a Defcon 1 situation.”

She’d accepted her fate after a full two days of arguing, because a week and a half of Toby at home with her was nice except when she woke up without him noticing and she subtly watched him freak out and hyper plan for every problem, but overall it’s okay.

It’s October 10th when Toby gets his first call since late September right after she and Toby have had lunch, leftover pizza from the night before. Toby grabs his phone from the bedside table and picks it up.

“Hey, Walter,” Toby says. “Seriously? You do?” He sighs. “You realize how close – okay, calm down. I’ll make sure it’s okay with her. No, I’m not doing that. You shut up." There's a pause. "Yeah, I did. Because you needed to shut up. I’ll text you if I’m on my way. Yes, if.”

He hangs up the phone. “There’s a case.”

“Thank god,” Happy says. “I need to get out of the house.”

Toby looks bewildered. “Not you,” he says. “You’re staying here.” He starts dialing. “I’ll have Paige come over, just in case you go into labor.”

Happy grabs the phone and hangs it up.  “No,” says Happy, pushing herself out of bed. “I bet I can help with this one.”

“You’re on bed rest!” Toby argues. “Besides, I’m not even sure I’m going to go. You could go into labor at any minute.” He looks worried. “I don’t want to be gone when it happens, or find out over the phone that something,” he pauses, “something bad is happening.”

“Nothing bad will happen,” Happy assures. She makes it to her feet, a little unsteady but standing. She needs to hold on to the bedside table a little, though. “See? I’m fine.”

“Then I’ll stay with you at the garage,” Toby decides.

Happy groans. “Stop acting like I need you to babysit me,” she says, but she tries to make it seem as nice as humanly possible. “I’ll be okay.”

“You,” Toby says, “are on bedrest, and about ready to have this baby,” he repeats. He rests his arms on her shoulders. “I don’t want to leave you if you’re in labor.” Something flits behind his eyes. “I can’t imagine leaving you alone when you’re this close.”

“I won’t be alone, and I can be in bedrest at the garage,” Happy explains. “I can rest on the couch, and everyone else is going to be at the garage. Paige will be there, Walter will be there.” She checks Toby’s phone. “And it’s Saturday. Even Ralph will be there. In emergencies, they’re fine.”

“Your due date was three days ago,” Toby says emphatically. “Laura-slash-Melody could pop out in the next twenty minutes.”

“Then I’ll bring the go bag,” Happy says. “Come on, Toby, I’m dying here. I can’t sit here waiting. I’ve read thirty books in two weeks. I went on youtube and taught myself American Sign Language.” She signs, “Get me out of here,” at him. “See?”

“I know you’re annoyed,” Toby says, “but that’s actually really impressive.”

She groans. “Toby, please? I’ll spend the whole day working on the couch, resting like Dr. Morneau told me to.” He looks skeptical. “I’ll only get up to pee.”

His lips quirk. “Microbladder.”

She throws a pillow at him. “Hey, you know what?”

“What?” Toby asks, tossing himself next to her in bed. He leans over her, those obnoxiously charming puppy eyes looking at her. She hates that he knows she’s really got no followup to that question, so she settles for a classic.

“You’re annoying,” Happy says.

Toby leans down and kisses her, long enough that she’s the one reminding him that they need to leave.

“Were you trying to make out with me so I’ll forget that you shouldn’t be leaving the house?” Toby asks. “Because if so, that’s clever.”

“I can walk around for an hour a day,” Happy repeats for the millionth time. “Come on.”

Toby sighs, dropping his head. “I guess. Also,” he gestures to her chest. “Where’d those come from? Those look new.”

Happy looks down. A maternity dress that had fit perfectly a month ago now is tight enough in the chest that she has some unintentional pushup action going on. “One track mind,” Happy says, shaking her head. “Those have been on their way for a long time now, dude.”

“I’m,” Toby stares, “I don’t know how I missed it.”

“Probably because we’ve been distracted by the baby on her way,” Happy says. “Now come on. Walter’ll kill us if we’re late. On the one day we’re coming in all week.”

“I like it when we’re late,” Toby says, pressing kisses to her jawline.

“I do too,” Happy says, sliding her hands up his back. “But we have a job and friends who will kill us if we don’t get to the job.”

Toby sighs. “You’re right. Let’s go.” He pulls out his phone and lets Walter know they’re heading to the garage.

It takes Happy longer than usual to stand up again, and, by the time she's finally on her feet, Toby’s staring at her.

“You’ve definitely dropped,” Toby says. “It’s not going to even be a week before she’s here.” Excitement lights up his eyes. “Only a few more days!”

“How can you be so sure?” Happy asks. “What, are you psychic?”

“Hah, hah,” Toby replies. He drops to his knees, eye level with her belly. “You’re about to introduce yourself to the world, baby girl, and my only request is that you wait for me before you pop out, okay? Don’t make your mom do this without me.”

“Yeah,” Happy scoffs, resting her hand over Toby’s, “because she can control this.”

Toby looks up. “Hey, I’ll do my best. If she’s anything like you she’ll never listen to me.”

Happy swats at him and Toby ducks out of the way, giving her his arm if she needs it. She doesn’t need it though. Until they hit the steps.

“Okay,” she grumbles. “I’m going to need a hand here.”

Toby’s lips quirk. “Oh, you need help with stairs? I give it three days, at most.”

“Not that soon,” Happy replies. “Right?”

Suddenly all she feels is panic. She’s not ready for this, she’s sure of it. And then there's a tiny voice in the back of her mind saying, _Yes, you can do this, and yes, you are ready_. It's a woman's voice, and Happy jolts when she recognizes it as her mother's from the video her father showed her.

“Hey, no, don’t do that,” Toby says soothingly. “Calm down. Take a couple of breaths.”

“Can we actually do this?” Happy asks, but she's not sure she has to ask now. The ground feels more solid under her.

“Yeah, we can,” Toby says. “Look, you’ve spent nine months pregnant. You can do anything, Happy. Anything.” He holds his arms open and she drops her head against his chest.

She laughs as Toby rubs her back. “We’re going to be parents.”

“Just promise me you’ll be safe today,” he says, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

“I’m not going to climb any telephone poles,” Happy says pointedly. “I can barely walk down the stairs.”

Toby takes a step back, hands on her shoulders. “No joking about the telephone pole,” he says seriously.

“Too soon?”

“It’s always going to be too soon,” he says. “I watched you fall from, like, ten feet up. If Sly hadn’t been there, I’m not sure I want to think about the consequences.”

“Well, childbirth is more dangerous,” Happy says, sliding into the front seat of the truck.

Toby looks perplexed.

“What now?” she groans. “I swear, if you’re going to fight me on going to the garage again, I’ll kick your ass. I can rest on the couch just like I can rest at home, and the garage is ten minutes closer to the hospital than the apartment is.”

“I’m not going back on it,” Toby insists. “And those are all good points." He frowns. "I just think, just in case she’s on her way today,” he begins, “I think we should take our soccer mom car. All the baby stuff is all set up.”

Happy sighs. “You’re just trying to get me to freak out, aren’t you? I don’t think she’s coming today, Toby. I think I’d know.”

“I don’t think so either,” Toby agrees. “But I just want to be prepared. If we're this prepared, we won't need to be prepared.”

Happy smiles at him. “Are you being superstitious?"

"No," Toby says, shrugging. "I'm just not going to take any chances with Murphy's law. I mean, I am just about to become a parent.”

“I’m about to do that, and push out a watermelon-sized human,” Happy says, poking at his stomach. “I win.”

He kisses her nose. “Alright, fine. Let’s get going before I change my mind.”

“Okay,” Happy says, “but I’m not sure I can fit behind the wheel of the car."

“Of course you can,” Toby says, looking confused. “Why wouldn’t you –” He trails off when Happy gets to the point where she literally can’t get into the car, her belly bumping up against the steering wheel. “Oh.”

Happy nods. “Yeah. I hate to say this, but you’re going to have to drive.”

Toby lights up. “I get to drive the shiny new car?” he says, looking elated. “This is the greatest day of my life.”

“You better change that tune when she gets here,” Happy replies, barely making it into the passenger seat. “God, this is such a soccer mom car.”

“That’s because we’re going to be soccer moms,” Toby says. “Soccer dads? Soccer parents. We’re going to be soccer parents.”

“Just stop talking, babe,” Happy says, patting him on the cheek. “Now let’s get to work before the baby decides to roll out on the highway.”

“Hey,” Toby says, “I’ve delivered one whole baby without any help. I could do it again.”

Happy scoffs. “Yeah right. You’d have a freaking meltdown and then I’d have to do it all by myself.”

“You would not!” Toby argues, and, good god, he’s such a slow driver. She sees, like, eight cars they could have passed in the past few minutes. “I’m surprisingly steady.”

Happy thinks about it. “I mean, you’re not wrong.” She looks over at him, running her hand over her over-stretched belly. “And I really appreciate that.”

He looks over at her, smiling. “I appreciate that you appreciate me.”

She smiles at him. “So much for having the potential to be unreliable.”

“You can always rely on me,” Toby says meaningfully. “No matter what, I’m going to be here for you.” He rests a hand on her belly. “For both of you.”

“Stop getting sappy and pass that stupid Toyota,” Happy says, nodding to the annoying car to their left. “They’re being stupid.”

“We’re not going to pass the truck,” Toby says, turning into the right hand lane. “We’re taking the next exit.”

Happy groans. “God, you should carry the baby, and I should drive the car.”

“If I could, I would,” Toby says.

“The hilarious thing is,” Happy says, watching them practically crawl to the exit, “I know you’re serious.”

Once they reach the garage, Happy’s feeling so uncomfortable that Toby argues with her for a full two minutes to make her sit down.

“This is stupid,” Happy grumbles, her body feeling like somebody shoved a half dozen watermelons up her shirt. “I need to walk around.”

“You do not,” Toby says firmly. “You need to sit. I don't want you to hurt yourself.”

“Neither do I!” Happy replies. “But, seriously. I can’t sit right now. I can’t explain it.”

Paige looks over at her. “If you’re body’s telling you things, listen,” she shoots. “You’re probably getting ready to have the kid. Probably less than a week, now.”

“I’m going for three days,” Toby replies. He looks at Happy, wide eyed. “That wasn’t a bet. I promise.”

“I know,” Happy replies. But now that’s she’s paced a little bit, she’s feeling a little achy everywhere, so she listens to Toby’s whining and sets herself up on the couch with her laptop and a some paperwork.

“I can’t believe you’re making a pregnant lady do paperwork,” Happy grumbles. “That’s just mean.”

“If you were up to date on your summaries, we wouldn’t have to do this, now would we?” Paige asks.

Within a few minutes, Cabe walks into the garage like a man on a mission. “I need the Doc now.”

“Ooh,” says Toby, perking up from his desk. “Does this mean I get to be a secret agent? Can I wear a mask?”

“We’ve got a hot head teenage boy who won’t admit where he got military grade explosives from, and he’s our only lead on a terrorist threat,” Cabe replies. “We figured your smart ass could get it out of him.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment,” Toby says, practically leaping out of his seat. He turns to Happy. “You’ll be okay when I’m gone, right?”

“Have I ever not been?” Happy shoots back. But Toby looks genuinely concerned, so she softens. “Go. I’ll be fine.” He looks worried still so she grabs his hand, pulls him down, and kisses him. “We'll both be fine."

Toby nods, smiling at her. “Love you,” he says quietly.

“Go read minds or whatever you do,” Happy replies, kicking his butt as he walks away.

He shoots her another look, and leans in to Cabe. Cabe nods.

"I'm staying," says Toby, smiling as he sits next to her on the couch.

Happy glares at him and then, because words can't possibly suffice, hits him with her composition notebook.

"Ow!" he exclaims. "What are you doing?!"

"You," she says, pushing his leg with her foot, "are not risking a goddamn terrorist threat becoming a terrorist attack because you won't go do an interview. Go."

"But I -"

"Go!" Happy exclaims. She tries to do her version of Doctor Face, and it apparently terrifies Toby into submission.

"Okay," he says. "I love you."

"Yes, I love you too, now leave," she says. She smiles to soften it. "Go save the world."

Toby looks around quickly then kisses Happy's forehead, darting off to follow Cabe.

Happy just gets into the first set of paperwork when Walter walks over to her, looking strange and a little lost.

“You okay there, Walt?” Happy asks, confused.

“I wanted to check in with you,” he says. He pulls a chair from somewhere in the garage and sits down, and Happy knows she’s in for a long lecture.

“I’m good,” she says, trying to avoid the inevitable. “Why? What’s up?”

“You,” Walter says. He stops, looking like words are failing him. “I’m really happy for you and Toby.”

“We’re pretty happy, too,” Happy replies, unsure of where this is going, “scared, but happy.”

Walter smiles. “I was wondering if I could ask you something strange.”

If Walter O’Brien is about to ask her about childbirth, Happy is going to run out of the room.

“You’re not considering using Megan as a name, are you?”

It’s so unexpected that Happy’s jaw drops. “What?”

“I am worried,” Walter says, clearly choosing his words carefully, “that I will not be able to use her name for my own child.”

Happy’s even more lost. “We’re not naming our daughter Megan,” is all Happy can think of to say.

Walter relaxes. “Good. I mean,” he frowns, “I’m glad you haven’t chosen that name.” He looks over at Paige and Happy follows his gaze.

“Are you thinking about kids?” Happy asks gently, because she knows just how fucking terrifying the idea of children is and she’s the one about to pop one out.

Walter nods, slowly. “I never thought I could be a good father prior to meeting Paige,” he replies. “But I think – I think I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

Happy grins at him. “We’re getting weird, Walter,” she says. “I’m about to pop out a baby, you’re considering having children. We’re both in stable, normal relationships. Hell, yesterday we all went out to dinner and none of us got blindingly drunk or had an argument with the waiter. I think,” she looks around, “this team is growing up a little bit.”

“We are no longer robots,” Walter says, a little awestruck.

“I’m glad, though,” Happy replies quietly. “I think it was a long time coming that we admitted that we had feelings and all that.”

“I agree,” Walter says, and his smile is so surprised and genuine that it half breaks Happy’s heart to realize she never really sees him look like that.

“I’m glad you got there, Walter,” she says. “I’m glad we got here.”

“Me too,” Walter says, “robots no more.”

“Robots no more,” Happy agrees.

Walter awkwardly reaches out and pats her on the shoulder, a gesture just enough the weird combination of sweet and bizarre that Happy has to fight the urge to laugh, and he leaves her with a nod.

Happy has a way of getting into the zone and pattern of the tedious paperwork. It’s fifteen minutes after Walter walks away before it happens. A strange twinge, something that lasts just long enough to be noticeable.

“Stop that,” Happy says to her belly.

It’s strange enough that it makes her wonder if she was wrong about when she was going to have this baby. She texts Toby a heart to soothe herself, and he texts back, “ _Love you, too. We’re fifteen minutes from the base. It shouldn’t take more than half an hour with this kid. I should be home before four.”_

Happy texts back another heart with a smiley face, and feels better. She assures herself it was just another set of Braxton Hicks, and returns to her paperwork.

And then it happens again, ten minutes later.

And again, ten minutes after that.

Happy’s heart starts racing.

“Not right now,” Happy says, rubbing the top of her belly. “Wait for Dad, okay, baby girl?”

And then, after two more disturbingly consistent and predictable pains, she sets down the laptop, taking some deep breaths. “Okay, you’re fine,” Happy says, half to herself and half to the baby. “We’re fine. We can do this.” She checks her watch. “Three o’clock. Dad’s going to be here in less than an hour, baby girl, just hold out at least that long.”

Happy’s hands shake as she reaches for her phone, ready to call Toby once she’s convinced this is actually happening, but there’s someone she wants to talk to first. She needs the person who’s been through this herself.

By the time she gets to Paige’s desk, the sixth contraction has just finished, and Happy’s trying hard not to break something. And, of course, Paige isn’t at her desk. She’s in the kitchen. Happy has no idea how she didn’t process that on the walk over here until she realizes she barely could see through the contraction.

Happy’s 90% sure that if she moves any further she’ll break something.

“Paige,” Happy says, trying to keep as calm as possible. “Paige, can you come here for a minute?”

Paige cheerily darts over to her. “Of course. What’s going on?”

“I think,” she says, hearing her voice shake only slightly, “that I just had some contractions, and I was wondering what it means if I have had six weird things that definitely could have been contractions lasting thirty seconds each, ten minutes apart.”

“You’ve been having contractions for an hour and you didn’t tell anyone?!” Paige exclaims.

Walter turns his head. “Excuse me?”

“Great,” Happy says, “I’m about to pop a shorty here, and you’re the one losing your cool.”

“Sorry,” Paige says, wincing.

“I just heard you have had contractions,” Walter says. “How consistent?”

Happy repeats what she said to Paige.

“I believe,” Walter says, “this indicates you’re in labor.”

“Oh, you think?” Happy asks, feeling the panic well inside her. “Give the genius an award!”

“But I am a genius,” Walter replies, looking confused.

Happy turns to Paige. “I’m going to kill him,” she says flatly. “Hey, Ralph, kiddo, can you go entertain Walter?”

Walter looks offended. “Why do I need to –”

“I got it, Happy.” Ralph grabs Walter’s hand and drags him away.

Paige is looking at Happy strangely. “Did you just enlist my son to babysit my boyfriend while you’re about to have a baby?”

“Yes,” Happy replies, “and we talked about this. The day I talk about delivering a baby with Walter O’Brien in the room is the day I grow wings and fly into the sun.”

“Got it,” Paige says, nodding. “So, what’s the plan?”

"The birth plan?" Happy asks. “Toby’s got one on his phone, and we have one in the go bag.” Happy turns on the couch to grab her bag, only to be hit with another contraction. “Son of a bitch,” she snaps, gripping at the side of Paige’s desk. She feels the edges of the table dig into her hand, but she can’t stop until it’s over. Until she can breathe again.

“I’ll get it,” Paige says. She runs off to grab the whole bag.

“Why,” Happy groans, “did Toby have to go with Cabe?”

“I’m already calling him,” Ralph says from upstairs. “It’s ringing.”

Happy nods. “Okay, good.”

And then, of course, she feels like she’s wet her pants.

“And my water just broke,” she grumbles. “Fantastic.”

“Your what?!” Paige exclaims. “Here, let me get you new –”

“Give me the bag,” Happy says, trying to remain calm. “And I’ll change on my own. You guys keep calling Toby and you better hope he picks up.”

She gets another contraction right as she gets her favorite pair of sweatpants on, and she gets a look at herself in the mirror.

“You can do this,” she tries to convince herself, trying her hardest not to grit her teeth. Either time is speeding up or contractions are coming more quickly. She's not sure which one it is. “You’re going to be fine.” She drops her head. “Holy fucking Christ.”

She walks out of the bathroom when the contraction is over.

“You get a hold of Toby yet?” she asks, and she tries to use her hands to cradle her belly. The kid is weighing heavily on her, like she’s carrying three bowling balls around, and she’s got enough to deal with right now other than back pain.

“No,” Paige says, looking concerned. “Your car or mine?” she asks.

“Toby had me bring the soccer mom car,” Happy replies, “so mine.”

Happy grabs her phone and pulls it out as she buckles. “Oh, that moron better pick up the phone this time,” she growls. “We got the go bag?”

Paige holds it up. “In the back seat.”

“Great,” Happy says, exhaling. “This is going to suck, isn’t it.”

“Yep,” Paige replies. “A whole lot of gross and painful stuff is about to happen in the next couple of hours, but just remember that Toby’s got your back and that’s all you need.”

“Yeah, except he’s not here right now,” Happy says through gritted teeth. “I’m calling him again.”

She dials, and prays to a god she’s not sure exists that Toby picks up.

“Hey, Hap,” Toby says. “Everything okay?”

“Other that I’m in labor?” Happy asks. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

The other line is silent. Happy counts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven and then –

“You’re going to be great,” Toby says, his voice steady.

“Where are you, jackass?” she asks, because that short period when he didn’t respond was scary enough to make her lose her sanity.

That calm, even voice comes back. “I’m about an hour away. We were just about to head back when we got your texts.” His tone grows annoyed. “They forced me to surrender my phone at the front door. I was on edge the whole time I was interrogating.”

“Yeah, how did that go?” She needs her mind on anything else. “Did you beat that guy up?” she adds, trying to breathe.

Toby laughs. “Nah, you weren’t here, and that’s your job. We just talked him into a corner, I read his mind as you would say, and he gave up his suppliers. You doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” she replies. “Except when I get a contraction, then I have the fleeting thought that I should probably kill you for this.”

“And you can break the hell out of my hand when I get there,” he offers. “I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay?”

“Good,” Happy replies. She’s quiet for a minute.

“I’m sorry I left,” he says, his voice sounding broken. “I should never have left you.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Happy snaps. “I told you to go do your job, and you probably just prevented a terrorist attack. If you were here right now instead of going, and we found out that some city got bombed, the two of us would never get over the guilt.” She pauses. “I know you. This was the right call.”

“If you say so,” Toby says. He still sounds guilty.

“You’ll get here,” Happy assures him. “When it matters. As long as you’re on the way, we’re good. But get here as fast as you can, because I’m fairly certain Paige isn’t going to be able to handle me like you can.”

“You’d be surprised!” Paige says, just loud enough for Toby to hear and laugh at.

“See you soon, Hap,” Toby says. “Go kick ass for me. And don’t punch too many nurses.”

Happy sighs. “I won’t promise anything.”

She hangs up and turns to Paige. “I’m about to have a baby, and my boyfriend is an hour away,” Happy says, “and you’re the one who has to be backup. You sure about this?”

Paige’s expression is set. “Throw whatever you want at me,” she says. Her smile is steady and honest. “I’m your substitute Toby.”

Happy laughs. “Now that’s an image.”

“You want me to wear one of his stupid hats?” Paige asks, looking completely serious. “Because I’ll do it, if it helps.”

“Ugh, no,” Happy replies. “I hate that damn hat.” She’s about to add something else, but another contraction floods over her like a wave and her only focus is getting through it.

“Happy, we’re at the hospital,” Paige says. When she gets her head together, Happy will have to thank her for being so calm. “You ready?”

Happy exhales, the contraction fading away. “As I’ll ever be.”


	21. Birth Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, just like that, the Cyclone grows a little bigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for discussion of labor, childbirth, and prescription medication.

They’re whisked into the hospital and the nurses, ones she’s never met before and ones who clearly don’t work with Dr. Morneau, try to insist that Happy change into a hospital gown.

“No,” Happy says. “I’m wearing my own damn pants until I decide they’re gone.”

“Ms. Quinn –”

“I wouldn’t fight her on this,” Paige says, pulling out the hard copy of the birth plan, “it says here not to fight with her on this, and this is written by her and boyfriend.”

“Yeah, and we don’t pull the Harvard card often, but he was trained at Harvard Med,” Happy adds. “So I’m pretty sure I’ve got an expert’s opinion.”

Paige turns to her. “Holy crap,” she says, “I can’t believe you just pulled the Harvard card.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “It’s the one time I will.” Happy looks around. “Where’s Dr. Morneau?”

“She’ll be here any minute,” says a nurse. “But first, we’ll have Dr. Oliver come see you if you’re concerned.”

Happy freezes. “Dr. Oliver?” she says warily.

“Yes,” says the nurse, named Kylee. “He’s great.”

“I’ll wait for Dr. Morneau,” Happy says through gritted teeth.

Her expression must have been terrifying, because Kylee and the other two nurses step away and nod.

“We’ll go check on Dr. Morneau’s estimated arrival,” says Kylee. She talks to the nurses quickly and they all leave, clearly with their own missions on their mind.

Happy turns to Paige. “I can’t believe I’m about to have a baby and these nurses are trying to get me out of my pants.”

Paige stares at her. “Are you cracking a joke?”

Happy frowns. “No. Why?”

Paige nods slowly. “In that case, I’m sorry they didn’t listen to your plan the first time. Let me know what I can do.”

She thinks about it. “Water would be awesome.”

Paige nods.

And then, when Happy is alone in the room where she can focus on the fact that she might be forced to kill everyone if these contractions keep it up, another contraction hits. This one lasts for a full minute when she’s on her own, and it’s easier this way, without anybody telling her how to feel. She focuses on a blank spot on the wall, and uses it to visually rebuild the engine of a 55 Chevy, part after part fitting in like puzzle pieces as she tries to ignore the pain.

When it’s over, she tries to massage out the marks her nails made in her palm.

“I can do this,” she says, breathing in that ridiculous way Toby taught her a few weeks before. “I can do this. I can do this.”

Paige walks in soon after. “Hey, I heard the nurses talking about an epidural. You going for drugs?”

Happy shakes her head. “Freaks me out.”

“You sure?” Paige says gently. “I mean, you’re tough as hell, Happy, and I know that, but this?” she points at the room. “This is the place where you can take scary drugs and you’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, well,” she grumbles, “hospitals did nothing to save my mom. I’m not doing anything to risk me or the baby. Nothing.”

Paige’s expression is understanding. “There are risks,” Paige says, “but you’re healthy and I don’t think you need to worry.

Happy looks at her, mind set. “I want to be as present as possible for this, just in case something goes wrong. Nothing against it, but I don’t want any drugs.”

Paige nods. “I knew you’d say that.”

Happy stares at her. “Then why’d you ask?”

Paige smiles. “Because I wanted you to be sure.”

She’s not sure why, but she leans over and half hugs Paige with one arm. “Thanks for being here,” Happy says. “Any news on Toby?”

“He’s on his way,” Paige reassures Happy. “He’s going to be here before she is, you know it.”

Happy nods. “Hey, I need to walk around, try and get things to stop getting all tense. Can you stay here? Just in case I fall or something?”

Paige nods. “As long as you need me, I’m yours.”

Happy stands up, and starts walking. It feels worse but better at the same time, her back easing its pain but the next contraction coming hard and fast.

“Okay,” Happy says through gritted teeth, “you didn’t warn me it was going to be like this.”

“I did!” Paige argues. “I think people just – don’t listen.”

Happy nods and grips one of the squeeze balls she brought. “Toby’s good for one thing,” she says, “these were his ideas.”

“That’s really smart,” Paige says. “Considering this is probably the most stress you’ll ever be under.”

Happy laughs, the contraction over. “This sucks.”

“Yep,” Paige agrees. “But it’ll be over soon. And you’ll get to meet your daughter.”

Happy knows it was supposed to be comforting, but the reality hits and it actually makes Happy feel a little sick.

“Oh, fuck,” she mutters. “Oh, god, we’re going to be parents.” It sound stupid every time she says it – she and Toby are going to be responsible for an actual real human. And nobody trained them how to do it right or told them what to do.

“And you’re going to be amazing,” Paige assures.

“Okay, but what if I’m not?” Happy says, suddenly panicking. “I don’t want to fuck my kid up!”

“You’re not going to,” Paige says. “Happy, the panic isn’t good for you. Or the baby.” Her smile is annoying, but soothing. “Breathe.”

“Working on it,” Happy says. She pulls out her phone and dials. “I hope he picks up.”

Nothing. “And, of course, nothing.” She sighs on the third ring. “I’m freaking out and Toby’s not answering the phone. That sounds about right.”

On the fourth, Toby picks up.

“Hi, sorry, yeah,” he says, sounding frantic.

“Are you okay?” Happy asks. “You sound weird.”

“I’m good,” he says. He exhales. “Twenty minutes, tops. I swear.”

“It’s already been an hour,” Happy shoots back. “Want to explain? You go for a burger?”

“Actually, it was Thai,” Toby jokes. “No, we got stuck in traffic. Really bad accident off the highway – we’re just getting around it now.”

“Good,” Happy says. “Because this is terrible, and hour two of labor is just as bad as hour one.”

“I love you,” Toby says. “I’m proud of you.”

“You always say that.”

“Because it’s always true.” She hears Cabe say something. “Hey, yeah, you need me on the line? Because Cabe’s going to turn on the siren and if he does, I won’t be able to hear you.”

“Anything to get you here faster,” she says. “And Toby?”

“Yeah, honey bear?”

Happy groans, but the nickname makes her smile. “I love you, too.”

She hangs up and turns to Paige. “Of course there was a car accident,” she says. Paige looks terrified. “No, not them!” Happy assures her. “They’re fine. It was a different car. They’re stuck in traffic, because that’s my luck to – oh my god.”

She sits back down on the bed, trying to focus on anything but how much everything hurts.

“More water?” Paige asks.

Happy nods.

When Paige comes back in two minutes later, Dr. Morneau, Kylee, and the rest of the nurses follow.

“Happy!” Dr. Morneau says. “I apologize for being late – I was at a late lunch with my husband. Cut it short when I heard my favorite patient was in labor.” She looks sunny and bright in her scrubs, bright blues and purples in almost a tye dye pattern. “How are you feeling? And where’s Toby?”

Happy sighs in annoyance.

“Ask the car accident getting in the way of him getting here on time,” Paige adds.

“I’ve got to check your dilation, Happy,” Dr. Morneau says gently. “Check on you, the baby. Are you alright with that?”

Happy nods. “Not like I really have a choice here.”

“But you do,” Dr. Morneau says, “if you need to stop, you tell me.”

And that’s when Happy realizes how lucky she is to have a doctor who actually listens.

Paige steps out while Happy changes into a hospital gown.

“You can stay your tee shirt if you’d like,” Dr. Morneau says. “Some mothers are more comfortable wearing the gown over their legs and the shirt on top.”

It takes a moment for Happy to recognize that “mother” is in reference to her, and she nods, adjusting Toby’s Harvard tee so that it’s comfortable again. In these last few days it’s only of the only things that fits on her, and she’s secretly pleased she walked out of the house wearing it today. It feels like Toby, warm and safe like home.

“Hey, Kylee?” Happy says, and she’s uncomfortable, not as distracted as she wants to be. She wants somebody here.

“Yes?”

“Can you have Paige come back in?” Happy asks. She can’t believe she’s saying it, but she wants Paige there. Just to talk to her, something to take her mind off of things.

Paige comes in with a smile and sits in the chair next to Happy. “I picked this up,” she says, waving a magazine. “Let see who’s banging who in Hollywood, shall we?”

Paige engages Happy in mindless chatter, something Happy can’t express how much she appreciates, her nose very deliberately in the tabloid where she’s getting all the gossip about the random celebrities.

“You’re dilating quickly,” Dr. Morneau says. “You’re going to have this baby October 10th, I’m going to bet.”

Paige laughs.

“The hell is funny about that?” Happy asks, bewildered.

“Just, October tenth,” she says. “Ten-ten. It’s a good birthday.”

“She’s born in 2017,” Happy grumbles. “It’s a terrible number.”

“I can’t believe how much you hate random numbers,” Paige says.

Before Happy knows it, Dr. Morneau is done. “Would you like your sweatpants back, or just hold onto the gown?”

“I’m okay with the gown,” Happy says. “Treat it like a blanket, you know?”

“Hey, I was completely naked the entire time I was in labor,” Paige says. “It was nice. But you do whatever feels right.”

Happy wrinkles her nose. “Yeah, full nudity isn’t what I’m going to go for.”

Paige shrugs. “To each her own.”

The phone starts ringing, and Paige throws it to Happy. She’s rather impressed with her catch, since she had to lean over a giant pregnant belly to grab the phone.

“Hey, Toby, where are you?” The second she speaks the contraction hits, and it’s all she can do to focus on the words Toby is speaking.

“Happy!” Toby says, and this time he isn’t calm. “Hey, we’re here. I’m so sorry we’re so late.”

“If you’re here,” Happy says, adjusting herself in the bed to try and alleviate some of this agony, “then why aren’t you here?”

“They won’t let me in,” he replies, sounding livid. “Apparently, my last name doesn’t match the one provided. And,” she can practically hear the glare he’s giving the lady at the front desk, “because it doesn’t match the one on my ID, I’m not allowed in to see my child’s birth.”

“Put them on the phone,” Happy grumbles.

“What?”

“Do it.”

“Hello?” comes a pleasant female voice.

“Hi, this is Happy Quinn, up in room 213, labor and delivery?” she snaps. “Let my boyfriend up here before I snap my cell phone in half.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m about to give birth and if he’s not up here, I’ll lose my mind,” she clarifies. “That get through to you?”

There’s a stammering confusion on the other line. “Can you prove you’re up there?” she asks.

Happy wordlessly hands the phone to Dr. Morneau. “Let him,” she growls, “up here.”

Dr. Morneau nods and smiles in that calm way of hers. “This is Dr. Morneau,” she says. “Dr. Tobias Quinn needs to be let up to room 213.”

Happy stares at her. “Curtis,” she corrects. “Toby Curtis.”

Dr. Morneau’s jaw drops. “Oh,” she says. “Right. Dr. Tobias Curtis. That’s the name you should have. Yes, I know it’s wrong. Let him up, okay?”

Paige turns to Happy. “They needed a sign in?”

Happy nods. “Something Toby and I requested. There’s a list of people who can visit, and nobody else is allowed in.”

“Toby’s paranoid about somebody from a previous case, isn’t he,” Paige sighs.

“Clearly,” Happy replies, shifting again. She’s still uncomfortable. “Hey, bowling ball making its way out of me. Got any advice?”

“Try to walk around,” Dr. Morneau replies.

“Not going to try that again until Toby gets here,” she winces as the contraction fades off. The brief moment of clarity reminds her of something. “Oh, right,” she says, “the meds.”

Dr. Morneau nods. “You can if you’d like to,” she insists. “The epidural is still a possibility.”

“No,” Happy says. “I mean, for Toby. He’s probably going to be stressed out of his mind when he gets here, and I came up with something I hope he thinks is funny.” She swings her legs out of the bed, wincing. “Oh, kid, you can’t get here fast enough.”

Happy pulls out the anti anxiety pills from her bag.

“Are those –?”

Happy nods. “I figured it would be fun to mess with him.”

Paige laughs. “You’re mean.”

She grins at her. “But hilarious.”

When Toby dashes into the room, he looks completely bewildered to see Happy with a robe over legs and a giant smile on her face. So she grins more brightly when Toby says, “Hey, I – what are those?”

“Want an alprazolam?” Happy asks, trying not to laugh at him.

“You’re an asshole,” Toby says, grabbing the pill bottle and kissing her forehead. “But, no. I’m fine.” He looks at the bottle. “Where did you even get those?”

Happy nods over at Dr. Morneau, who is watching them. “Your bedside table,” she replies. “Just in case you needed them.” She grins. "You know. This might be something you want to sleep though."

“Now you're just being mean," Toby laughs. "And calm. Why are you so calm?” Toby asks. “You sounded like a ball of rage on the phone.”

“Oh, I was mid-contraction,” she replies. “This baby bullshit is ridiculous. I hate it.”

Toby turns to Paige. “Has she been like this the whole time?”

Paige shrugs. “Basically.”

Toby turns back to Happy. “You are a fucking superhero,” he says firmly. “I don’t know how you do what you do, but keep it up.”

Happy shrugs. “I tr –” Then another contraction hits, more powerful and painful than any of the others, and she grips Toby’s shoulders so tight she’s pretty sure she’ll leave a bruise. Next thing she knows, she’s back in the hospital bed, Toby’s calm and collected voice talking to her about some of their most impressively stupid antics.

“Okay, the trampoline thing was your fault,” Happy says as she comes out of the haze.

Toby smiles at her, kissing her forehead. “Agreed. But it was fun.”

“It was fun,” Happy replies. “Probably should try it sober sometime, huh.”

Toby shrugs. “We’re about to be parents. Not sure we can do stupid stuff like that anymore.”

“Oh,” Happy says, “we can.” She grins. “Things will probably get even more stupid when we have a kid running around us all the time.”

Toby leans down and kisses her. “Proud of you.”

“I still haven’t done anything yet,” she says, smiling up at him.

Toby sighs. “You have. I just don’t think you realize it yet.”

The next three hours are hectic – Paige has to field a couple of phone calls from Cabe, because he has questions for Toby about the interview, but he’s busy doing what Happy asks. It gets to the point where Happy’s gone silent, trying to turn off her brain so she can turn off how much everything hurts. She hates that she can do this, that she can just shut off, but right now she thinks it’s an okay reason to use the skill.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Toby asks, rubbing her back. “I brought my phone.”

Happy shakes her head.

“Want me to shut up?”

Happy shakes her head again.

“Okay,” he says, rubbing her back, “do you want me and Paige to do karaoke again?”

“That would be funny,” Happy replies. “But I think I just want to listen to music, okay? We have my iPod,” she raises an eyebrow and looks at Toby, “right?”

Paige, who Happy thought was asleep, is up and handing the iPod to Happy before Happy even realizes it.

“Damn,” Happy says. “You’re impressive.”

Paige yawns. “That is true. And tabloids have gotten boring.”

Happy listens to music until her iPod is nearly out of battery, a few hours she loses track of while Toby massages her back and her feet as she lets her mind fade into the music. Something about the blend of music and Toby’s mindless talking lets her focus without completing fading out of reality. It’s better, she thinks. It doesn’t feel like she’s losing part of herself.

And then, while Bangarang screams in her ears, the contraction feels different. Stronger.

She pulls out her headphones. “Hey, Toby,” she says, trying to breathe through it.

“Hey!” he says, “you’re back. You totally zoned out for a while there. Were you even having contractions?”

“Don’t be an ass,” Happy says, resting her forehead against his chest. “And yeah. I was. I just sort of shut my brain off whenever they happened.”

“It’s kind of scary that you can do that,” Toby says. “But let me know what you need me to do, okay?”

Happy nods. “Yes.” She wraps her arms around his waist, trying not to grab onto him with the aftermath of the contraction. “We’re about to be parents.”

“Yes, we are,” Toby says. “And we can do this.”

It’s not long before she has another contraction, and she’s grabbing Toby’s hand like a vise. The whole room is chattering, and it’s too much for her to handle. Nurses, Dr. Morneau, even Paige and Toby are talking about the appropriate next steps, but nobody’s got their eyes on her.

And then a new feeling happens – something telling her to push, that the baby is on her way and Happy knows she needs to do something, and soon.

“Guys,” she says, feeling strange. “Hello, pregnant lady over her.”

No response. Toby runs his thumb along the side of her hand, but other than that he’s focused on whatever Dr. Morneau is saying.

“Okay,” Happy shouts, “everybody shut up for a second!”

Paige, Toby, Dr. Morneau, and the four nurses turn to her, but, to their credit, they don’t look surprised at all. “I know that you people are trying to help,” she says, trying to keep herself calm and collected, “but if you don’t listen to me, I’m going to kill all of you one by one and deliver this fucking baby myself.”

They all look appropriately sheepish. “Good,” she says, “now that you’ve heard me, just wanted to mention, my contractions are increasing and somebody should probably check how dilated I am because something’s telling me I should be pushing soon and –” she pauses, wincing. “And to be honest I’m not sure what this feeling means, so yeah. Help?” Happy feels a little desperate, helpless, something she hates. But she’s with it enough to know that this is the part where she’s out of her skill set and she needs someone else. Somebody needs to tell her what to do, and somebody other than her needs to come up with the answers.

“You tell me what to do,” Toby says, “and I’ll do it.”

“Paige, you’re awesome, I appreciate the help, but I’m a little unsure about you being in here when I’m popping her out,” Happy says, ignoring Toby. “Not gonna lie, it’s weird.”

“Gotcha,” Paige says. “Good luck, Happy. You’re going to do great.”

She darts out of the room with an encouraging smile.

“You,” Happy says, pointing at Toby, “if you’re not up here doing your annoying talking thing, I’m going to lose my mind.”

“Yup,” Toby says. “What do you want me to say?”

Before Happy can answer, she’s grabbing Toby’s hand as a contraction hits, and only slightly admires the way he refuses to let the pain show on his face.

“Sweetheart, shake it out,” Toby says soothingly. “Don’t tighten up.”

Happy nods, closing her eyes and shaking her hands out. She accidentally slaps Toby in the face.

“Was that on purpose?” he asks, tiny grin.

“Not on purpose,” Happy says, “but it was funny.”

He kisses her temple. “You okay?”

“I’m okay,” Happy says, and she realizes the contraction stopped after she accidentally smacked him. “For now.”

“Happy,” Dr. Morneau says, her voice mercifully calm, “you’re nine centimeters dilated. You’re almost ready to push.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that,” Happy snaps. She tries to regain her composure. “Toby, say something so I don’t shout at people again.”

“Okay,” he says, searching for words. “Well, I love you,” he says, and Happy does her best not to connect the fact that, yup, those are three relative strangers down there just staring. Not like she had much modesty before this, but this is a whole new level not giving a fuck. “We’ve got this. Well, you’ve got this. Seriously. And, if you need to move or something –”

“I’ll tell you,” she says, resting her arm on Toby’s shoulder. “Don’t worry.”

He rests his forehead against hers. “I’m so proud of you.” He loves those words, has said them a million times during their relationship, thousands of times during the pregnancy.

And now she may just understand why he’s saying it.

“Haven’t done anything yet,” she replies, like she always does, but there’s nothing that makes her feel more like she can do anything like hearing Toby say those words.

“You’ve done everything,” he murmurs.

She grabs his hand, unsure of how to respond. “Holy fuck, we’re going to be parents,” she says. “The father of my child is going to be the same guy who I drunkenly set shit on fire with.” She looks at Toby. “What the fuck?!”

“Focus on anything else,” Toby says, “especially not that time we went to the batting cages and you accidentally threw the bat at the batboy.”

Happy laughs. “What about the time we went to that arcade and you broke the spider game?”

He smooths the sweaty hair from her face. “I love you so much,” he says. “I can’t believe I get to be a parent with my best friend.”

“Me either,” Happy replies.

Another contraction, and Happy’s feeling the inevitability of what’s on its way. It doesn’t scare her. Instead, she manages to be excited, really excited. She’s ready to meet her daughter.

And, if she’s honest, she’s so done with being pregnant.

“Happy, you plan on kangaroo care, right?” Toby asks.

Happy nods. “Yeah, why?”

“Then you need to take off the shirt,” Toby explains. “Skin to skin contact. But here,” he pulls off his hoodie and sets it in around her shoulders, “just in case you’re cold.”

Happy sits up and pulls off the tee shirt and replaces it with the hoodie.

“I’ve stolen all of your clothes now, haven’t I?” she manages. That smile of his keeps her from processing just how much this all sucks.

Toby shrugs. “Worth it.” Happy grins back, and, yeah, when he looks at her like that, she’s pretty sure she can do anything.

And then too much is happening at once, and there is no more time for words. It’s a few minutes, and the a few seconds, and then all of a sudden they’re telling her to push, that it’s time.

Happy’s focusing on Toby’s chatter about how her body was made to do this, that she can do anything.

He keeps calling her a superhero, which is a little annoying, until he says something about how she’d look good in a cape and she ends up laughing.

“Hey, remember when that hospital had the fungus and the baby was born?” Toby says as Happy falls back against the bed. The pushing is physically demanding, killing her back, and, frankly, not what she'd expected. She’d thought this was one of those things that it’s two pushes and they baby’s out. Nope. She’s counting – it’s been ten minutes of this, and she’s still not done. Their girl’s still not here.

“Can’t forget it.”

“You said the female body is a mechanical marvel,” he insists. “You can do this. You are going to be amazing.”

“Hey, you know how you’re not an engineer?” Happy asks.

Toby looks confused. “Yes?”

“Stick to the medical metaphors,” Happy says, grinning at him. “I’ll keep up with the engineering ones. I don’t want to think about the orange through a wine bottle analogy.” She winces. “Oh, god, I’m thinking about it.”

“Almost there,” Dr. Morneau says over their chatter. “I can see her little head. Are you ready to push again?”

Toby leans over, looking ridiculous as he practically tilts upside down to see, but he never lets go of her hand. “She’s got so much hair,” Toby says. “Oh, Happy, she’s beautiful.”

“Get back here!” Happy demands, a little incredulous that he’d lose focus. She needs him talking to her, right next to her, because otherwise she’s going to lose her mind.

“Right, I’m here.” He rushes back, and he looks at her in that way that makes her feel like she can do anything. “You’re almost there.” He rests his forehead against hers.

Happy nods. “I’m okay, right?” she asks, because everything hurts, but somehow nothing feels like it’s going wrong. "I'm good?"

“Of course you’re good,” Toby replies, gripping her hand as she pushes. “You’re Happy freakin’ Quinn.”

One more push, a flare of pain, and then it’s over, and Dr. Morneau is instructing Happy to lie back over the cries of their daughter before placing the little girl on her chest.

And in that instant, Happy's world changes.


	22. Baby, 1 day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's here. She's real. She's theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Discussion of childbirth and all topics related.

“You’re here,” Toby says a little brokenly as their little girl rests on Happy’s chest. She’s warm and real and part of the world, and Happy can hardly fathom the idea that this went smoothly. All that’s in the front of her mind is that she’s meeting her daughter. Paige was right – the aches and pains are still there, but she doesn’t care anymore. This tiny person is real now, and it took less than a second for Happy to fall unalterably in love.

Happy can’t speak, her eyes locked on her daughter’s little face, for the first few moments. She wants to memorize every detail, every part of her, just in case she’ll be taken, just in case this is the last thing Happy’s able to see.

“How long to I get to hold her?” Happy asks. “Before they take her away, I mean.” She doesn’t want them to take her away. She’s not sure she’ll let them.

“We’re keeping her for a few minutes,” Toby reminds her. “Cord blood, all that.” He looks pointedly at the nurses. “Kangaroo care is proven to be the best way to help regulate a newborn’s heartbeat and transfer cord blood to prevent anemia.”

Toby keeps his hand protectively on the baby’s back as the nurse checks on her speedily, and the baby gets an Apgar score of ten. Happy’s a little speechless while she watches her baby. She’s crying and snuffling a little bit, but she doesn’t seem horribly distressed. Then again, Happy thinks, she’s the orange and Happy’s the wine bottle. This was probably as awful for the baby as it was for Happy.

“Already exceeding expectations, baby girl,” Toby laughs, resting his hand on her head. “God, she’s beautiful.” He takes the towel that then nurse hands him. “Beautiful, but a little bit gross.”

“You’ve got that right,” Happy agrees. They take a few seconds to clean her off, every tiny movement of the towel a reminder that she’s alive. Happy can’t believe she’s here, can’t believe this is all real. She’s a mother now. This baby is hers.

There’s a whirl of activity in the next few minutes. Toby cuts the cord once they’re sure the baby is ready, and Happy has to resist the urge to punch someone when they say, “We need to clean her up for you and check her weight, height, all that.”

“We’ll get her back, Hap,” Toby laughs, but Happy doesn’t miss the fact that Toby’s hands are still on their daughter’s back.

“Happy?” Doctor Morneau says, and she looks pretty relaxed for someone who just helped deliver a baby. “We’ll give her back. I promise.”

Happy sits up and hands the baby to the nurses, who seem to be moving too quickly and without enough care. But maybe that’s because they’ve done this a million times this year, and Happy’s only held a baby a handful of times in her entire life.

She watches as they announce another Apgar score of 10, and weigh her.

“Six pounds, eight ounces,” Dr. Morneau says. “Nineteen inches long.”

“See?” Happy says. “She’s not abnormally tiny. She’s just little.”

“Well let’s hope she gets my height,” he jokes. Happy manages to punch him in the hand, and he winces.

“Are you okay?”

He shrugs. “Nah, I’m good,” he replies. “Possible tiny fracture in my pinky, if I had to guess. I’m good. I’ll splint it when we get home.”

“What?!” Happy exclaims. “We’re in a hospital. Go get that checked out.”

“No,” Toby says. “I’m fine. Pinky’s are virtually unnecessary now, anyway. I’m hanging with you guys.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “You’re fucking stupid,” she grumbles.

“And you’re fucking outstanding,” Toby replies, with that dumb smile of his still on his face. He kisses her gently. “I don’t know how you do it, but I love you more now.”

“Probably by pushing an actual human out of my body,” Happy says, looking over at Dr. Morneau, who is carrying the baby, wrapped loosely in a pale green blanket.

“Here she is,” she says with a smile. Happy’s given her daughter again.

“Hi, baby,” Happy says. She’s never heard her voice that gentle before. She’s a little worried she’ll startle her, this little girl, but she seems to be content and a little annoyed as she makes tiny noises that are too damn cute to be allowed.

“For a few minutes,” Dr. Morneau says gently, “then we need to take care of you, okay, Mama?”

Happy laughs. “Yeah, forgot that was my name now,” she says. She feels uncomfortable and everything hurts, but this little warm bundle of baby is snuggled against her chest, and Toby’s contorted himself so he can get an arm around her.

“She’s perfect,” he mumbles. “Wrinkly, but perfect.”

Happy nods. “I just can’t believe she’s here.” That’s when she realizes nurses are still checking up on her. “Everything’s okay, right?” she asks. “Right?”

Toby nods. “Everything’s perfect,” he says, “I swear.” He smiles at her. “Happy, you’re good.”

“Not possible,” Happy says, feeling frantic. “Something’s still doing,” she wrinkles her nose, “stuff.”

“That’s normal,” Toby assures her. “Remember? Placenta, afterbirth.”

Happy groans. “This childbirth thing is gross,” she mumbles, running her hand along the baby’s side. “They don’t mention the whole expelling gunk after the baby thing in the movies.”

Toby laughs. “Remember when I told you I was proud of you?”

“Which time?” Happy asks. “Which time today, I mean?”

Toby laughs. “Every time.”

Happy tilts her head and Toby leans down to kiss her. “I’ve never been prouder.”

Happy smiles at him. “Even when I did field surgery?” she jokes.

“Yeah, well,” he shrugs. “They’re both pretty awesome moments.”

There’s some time that Happy isn’t holding her daughter, but it’s okay. Happy doesn’t like it, but it’s okay. Dr. Morneau and Kylee are checking up on Happy while Toby holds the baby and talks to her endlessly, but nothing feels like a disaster would feel like. Happy is certain that if either she or the baby were in distress there wouldn’t be as many smiles.

It’s unbelievable.

The baby screeches.

“She,” says Toby, “gets pissed when she’s hungry, just like her mom.”

“I don’t know how to do that,” Happy says, looking down at her bare chest. She’s baffled. “The hell do I do?”

“That,” says Toby,” is one thing I can’t help with.” He looks like he’s searching every file in his mind for the right way to answer Happy, but comes up blank. “Yeah, I’ve got nothing.”

“The lactation specialist should be in here in no time,” Dr. Morneau insists, sending Happy a smile. “Nothing to worry about.

Sure enough, the lactation specialist comes in and shows Happy how to breast feed.

“This should be difficult, right?” Happy says. “If everything else was easy –”

“Then this might be too,” she says calmly. “If you’re relaxed and ready, if your body is prepared, it could happen today. Let’s just see if it goes smoothly.”

And it does. Somehow, it goes smoothly after twenty minutes and Toby googling techniques while the lactation specialist sends him mild glares. Happy read book after book about how, for some women, it doesn’t happen until day five, and for some women they can’t breast feed at all. But Happy and her girl have no problem with it from their first attempt, and Happy’s a little astonished at how much easier this is than she expected.

They wheel in a little baby carrier and settle the baby in it, informing her that she will be waiting with Toby in the room Happy will be staying in, just until Happy’s final check up is done and she can join them.

“Okay,” she says, “Toby, go with her.”

“What?”

“Go with the baby,” Happy insists. “I don’t – just keep her safe.”

Toby understands in the next second and nods. “See you soon, love.”

Dr. Morneau does a few more check ins on Happy, but, to Happy’s absolute astonishment, she’s doing fine.

“Nothing?” Happy asks. “Everything just – happened correctly?”

Dr. Morneau nods. “We can get you to your room right away, nothing else needs to be done.” She pats Happy’s leg. “You don’t even need stitches.”

“That can’t be right,” says Happy, letting the nurses help her stand to move to the other, not disturbingly bloody, bed. Everything shifts in a bizarre way in her body, and it’s a sensation she could do her whole life without ever feeling again. The word that comes to mind is jello. “That never happens.”

Dr. Morneau. “Accept that this went abnormally well,” she insists. “You were fantastic – one of the smoothest births I’ve ever helped happen. If you’re ready for visitors, I think you’re okay to see people today,” she checks her watch, “well, tonight.”

“Oh, god,” Happy groans as they wheel her out of the room, “no visitors. I can’t handle people right now.”

Dr. Morneau smiles at her. “No arguing with that.”

Toby and a nurse wheel in with the baby about five minutes after Happy gets into the new room.

“Hey, you two,” Happy says. The baby squirms a little bit, and Toby reaches his hand into her little cradle, just enough so that she can grab onto a finger. He already knows what he’s doing. Happy’s a little jealous.

“Hey, you,” Toby says, pulling the cradle closer, hovering just a little bit away from her.

Happy pats the side of her bed. “I’m exhausted.”

“She’s kind of sleepy, too,” Toby says quietly.

Happy manages to move enough that Toby can come lay next to her in bed, with their little girl wrapped in his arms. Happy can’t stop looking at her, can’t stop reminding herself that this is real and that she and Toby are parents now.

“I told Paige that everything was okay,” he murmurs, voice quiet so he doesn’t wake the baby, “but that you didn’t feel up to visitors since it was so late.” He smiles. “She met the baby, though. Said she was beautiful.”

“Awesome,” Happy sighs. “Now I don’t have to play nice.”

“You can sleep as much as you want,” Toby says.

“Not yet,” she says. “For as long as they’ll let me, I want to be with you guys on our own for a while.”

Toby nods. They’re quiet for a little while as the look at the baby. It’s not until she makes tiniest little squeak that Toby breaks the silence by laughing softly.

“Hey, it’s probably the wrong time,” says Toby, his breathing shaky as he holds their daughter in his arms, curled up in the bed next to her, “but I think you’re number two now, Hap.”

“Same to you,” Happy replies. Everything hurts and she might have fractured Toby’s finger. Hell, before they even left the garage she swore at Paige and enlisted a child to take care of her boss. She did this without pain medication, she did the first part of it without Toby, and her entire body feels like it’s breaking apart. Happy’s not sure she’s hurt this much all over before.

But she’s a mom and she has a kid, and as much as she never planned this she can’t imagine another direction her life could have gone.

“I love you,” Toby says, looking at the baby. His voice is fragile and soft, like Happy’s rarely heard it before. “You’re so perfect. And you’re ours.” He kisses her tiny forehead. “You’re beautiful.”

Toby turns and kisses Happy’s temple, resting his forehead against her hair. “God, I’m so proud of you,” he says quietly. “I don’t know how you can be so amazing, but I’m glad you are.”

Happy manages a laugh, even though it hurts a decent amount.

She and Toby hold the new baby for so long, Happy nursing when she cries and finding out that she knows what to do, that Happy loses track of time until the exhaustion hits her like a brick.

She exhales sharply, her arms holding onto their daughter as she falls against the back of the hospital bed.

“Day one and you’re kicking my ass, kid,” Happy mumbles.

“Language!” Toby says frantically.

Happy looks up at him through half-lidded eyes. “She won’t remember this,” Happy says. “And besides, you seriously want to fight on language with the woman who just gave birth to your child?”

“Point taken,” says Toby. He kisses her forehead, sweaty and gross as it is. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Happy replies.

She closes her eyes with the baby and Toby right beside her, and before she falls asleep she has a moment of clarity where she realizes that, despite it hurting like a bitch, there were no significant complications. She and her daughter – her DAUGHTER – are better than fine.

~

The next few hours are a blur, the LA lights barely seeping through the window as the night fades into morning. She wakes only slightly when a nurse comes in and she turns to the clock to see that it’s 4:30 in the morning. Their kid is 6 hours old.

“Toby?” she says when the nurse leaves, voice quiet.

“I’m here,” Toby says. He sounds wide awake – he probably was. The guy hardly sleeps. Could come in handy the next couple of years.

“We did it,” she mumbles.

“No way,” Toby says. She opens her eyes to see him smiling at her with so much adoration she’s about blown away. “You did it.”

“Well, there’s that,” she replies.

Toby wheels their little girl closer to Happy’s bed, and Happy takes the second to just look at her to remind herself she’s real. “Hey, princess,” he says, his smile something Happy had never seen before today, “you’ve got to know by now that you’re mom’s the superhero in this household.”

Happy laughs a little bit, but it’s enough to hurt.

“I can’t be awake right now,” Happy mumbles, taking one last look at the baby. “Going back to sleep.”

Toby leans in and kisses her forehead, and Happy laughs just enough that it makes her sore muscles ache when Toby says, in that stupid voice, “Night night, Mommy!”

She doesn’t remember much of the next few hours, just that she and the baby are doing fine, and that she’s doing impressively well with breast feeding. They kept an eye on the baby for concerns of jaundice in the first few hours, but after a half dozen feedings, she’s fine, her skin no longer tinged just slightly yellow. She’s pink and perfect and fits just right in Happy’s arms.

“You have miracle boobs,” Toby says, laughing. “Healing powers.” He leans in close. “I could have told you that years ago.”

Happy reaches out and swats him. “You’re a dumbass.”

“You’re amazing,” Toby shoots back. He shifts the baby so Happy can see her face. “See? Look what we did. We made an actual person!”

“That’s a weird thing to say,” Happy says with an eye roll, but it is strange – this is their daughter, and this is their family. “But yeah. She’s ours.”

Happy leans close to kiss Toby, then kiss their daughter on the forehead. But she feels sleep pulling her in, and closes her eyes. She goes from awake to asleep every few hours, getting checked in on every two hours or so, and she keeps hearing, over and over again, from the nurses and doctors that their daughter is a healthy, happy baby.

She doesn’t know how much she needs to hear it until she hears it.

Toby smiles, holding the baby. “Good to hear,” he says. “See? You not only had a baby, you had the coolest, healthiest baby in history.”

“She didn’t get the cool part from you,” Happy quips, grinning.

Walking around after giving birth is quite possibly the most daunting task, but when she tries it her body feels like an 80 on a pain scale of 1-100 instead of a 200. Which, you know. Nice change over the past few hours.

“Men are terrible,” she says as she walks back to the bed, “because they don’t have to do this.”

“I’m not arguing,” Toby says. He holds out his arms to help her into the bed. She doesn’t exactly need it, but she wants it, so she takes his hands and holds onto them as she falls into bed. She rolls the baby’s little cradle closer to the bed so she and Toby can look at her.

“We’ve got a kid,” Happy says, testing out the phrase in her mouth. She looks up. “How’s it feel, Daddy?”

“Pretty good,” he says with that new smile again. He turns to Happy. “Mommy.”

The word sounds strange at first. “We’ve got new names,” she says. “Man, everything changes.”

They look at her for a while. “She hasn’t got a name,” Happy manages. “We need to get on that.”

“I know!” Toby says. “But after all those decisions about her name, she doesn’t look like a Laura.” He wrinkles his nose. “Yeah, she’s really not a Laura.”

“Or a Melody,” Happy decides. Happy nods. “She’s not mellow enough to be a Laura or a Melody. And we’re not leaving here without a name,” Happy says with as much authority as she can muster. “I’m not leaving here without our daughter having a name.” Happy looks down at the little one, unsure. "We need to come up with a name."

"We will," Toby says. "We'll come up with a name when it comes to us." As anxious and annoying as Toby can be, he's steady and solid right now. Happy never imagined a universe where this level of vulnerability would be comfortable, where counting on someone didn't feel like a life sentence. She has a family, a family she built with the first and only person she'd ever depend on like this, and he's looking at their baby like he's never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

Toby turns that adoring expression on her. “Hey, Happy?"

"Yeah, Doc."

He beams. "Remember that time you literally had my baby and it made me somehow love you more?”

“Yes,” says Happy deadpan, “I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”


	23. Baby, 2 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A name is just a word until you give it meaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: post-baby medical discussion, reference to alcoholism

The baby’s arrival in late evening allowed Toby and Happy to make the excuse that it was too late for people to visit, so it’s not until the next morning around eleven that they start getting texts asking if they’re ready for visitors.

“Do we say yes?” Toby asks.

Happy nods. “Why not. I wouldn’t have gotten here without Paige. And Ralph’s been so excited to meet the baby.”

Toby calls Paige and says she can come any time. “Bring Ralph, too,” Toby tells her. “Yeah, Happy mentioned him.” The he frowns. “I’ll check.” Toby presses the phone against his shoulder and turns to Happy. “Can Walter come?” Toby asks.

Happy groans. “Ugh, fine. But I’ll kill him if he says anything.”

“What would he say?”

Happy shrugs. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he started chatting about the mechanics of childbirth.”

“What, like you did to that poor lady’s husband in the hospital outbreak?” Toby says with a half smile.

“Touche,” Happy says. She picks up the baby, resting her safely in her arms. She’s sleeping, content, little rosebud lips pursed like she’s thinking very hard about something. She’s beautiful.

“You know what’s weird?” Happy muses.

“That she looks like me already?” Toby asks, stroking the baby’s hair. “But with your hair?”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Not what I was going to say,” Happy says. “It’s weird that we’re not freaking out right now.”

Toby shrugs. “I think I’m too tired to freak out,” he nods to Happy, “and you two just pulled the orange and wine bottle routine. That’s enough to tucker anyone out.”

Happy laughs lightly, just enough to spark a little ache in her belly. “Funny,” she says. “You’re funny.”

“I know I am,” Toby says, leaning in to kiss the baby on the top of her head. “Baby girl’s going to think I’m funny, too. Just you wait.”

“Name,” Happy says, perplexed. “We don’t have a name yet.”

Toby’s eyebrows furrow. “You have a point there.”

“And what do we do if people ask?” Happy says, adjusting the baby so that Toby can see her face. “Because I feel like making something up is a bad idea.”

Toby laughs. “You’ve got that right. We’ll just tell them it’s a work in progress.”

Happy nods. “That works for me.”

Twenty minutes later, Paige is the first one to walk into the room, Ralph and Walter trailing behind her, and she’s the first one to ask, “What did you name her?”

“We’re working on it,” Toby says as Happy settles the baby in her arms in a way she’s seen in movies. She’s not quite sure what she’s doing and she hopes somebody catches her complete confusion and gives her some help, one of the nurses she thinks. There’s fussing going on and there’s no diaper problem and the baby just ate, so she’s confused. Happy ends up settling her knuckle in the baby’s mouth like Toby did a couple of times, and the baby calms down. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Paige looks at Happy. “I forgot they could be so little,” Paige says reverently. She settles an arm on Ralph’s shoulder as she speaks. “It goes by so fast.”

“Wish that could be said about labor,” Happy quips with an eye roll. The baby finally settles, drifting off to sleep. “Oh, finally,” Happy groans. “I was beginning to think I was doing something wrong.”

Paige smiles at her. “Can I hold her?” she asks.

Happy nods, a little hesitant to let her daughter go. But this is Paige. She settles her daughter in Paige’s arms. Paige is really good at the mom thing, even if it’s not her kid. Happy finds herself stupidly jealous at how easy Paige is with her.

“How do you do that?” Happy asks, and she’ll blame the sleeplessness and the after effects of giving birth for the blunt and weird question.

Paige looks at her. “Years of practice,” she says seriously. “I nearly dropped Ralph twice after he was born. Like, the day he was born.” She frowns. “Actually, when he was five months he rolled himself off the changing table.”

“Hey!” Ralph argues. “You never told me that.”

“You turned out better than fine,” Paige says to him. She sits down on the foot of Happy’s bed, and Happy’s shocked that she doesn’t even mind. She just finds herself grateful that they let her put on a pair of sweat pants, a tank top, and a hoodie before visitors got here.

“And, how are you feeling?” Walter asks deliberately, walking to the other side of Happy’s bed. “Everything okay?”

Happy’s startled. “Are you asking me how I am?”

Walter nods. “I’ve been informed that it is important for a mother, after delivering her child, to be checked in on from time to time.” He smiles. “And, of course, you are one of my closest friends. I care about your well being.”

“Aw, Walter,” Paige says, practically beaming at him. “You have fuzzy feelings. That’s adorable.”

“In the presence of a new mother, I feel it is appropriate to show my appreciation for her accomplishments,” Walter corrects. “They aren’t fuzzy feelings, it is admiration.”

“Fuzzy feelings,” Paige says again. She looks down and sighs. Happy thinks that everyone’s going to look at this little girl that way – like she’s the greatest, most brilliant person to ever grace the planet. “Wow, she’s gorgeous, guys. Nice work.”

“Thanks,” Happy says.

“Do you have any ideas for her name?” Ralph asks. “Because Marie’s pretty.”

“You’re just saying that because you like Marie Curie,” Toby laughs.

Ralph shrugs. “I mean, I could have said Hedy Lamarr.”

Paige whips out her phone. “So, I have a question.”

Happy sighs. “Yes?”

“Do you want a picture of her first day?” Paige asks.

“Already took some,” Toby says, confused. “A little after she was born.”

“You did?” Happy asks.

He turns to her. “Yeah,” he says. “You don’t remember?”

“I was probably asleep,” Happy clarifies.

Toby shakes his head slowly. “You were awake,” he says. “Sleep deprivation?”

Happy nods. “That sounds about right.”

“So yeah,” Toby adds, turning back to Paige. “We should probably take some happy family pictures.”

Happy’s too tired to argue, so she smiles for a couple of shots, two on her phone, one on Paige’s and three on Toby’s because he insists on taking one where he’s kissing Happy’s cheek.

Their friends visit for a short while until, after the nurse comes in and checks on Happy and the baby, Happy sends Toby a look and he announces that they’re too tired to talk anymore.

“Sylvester said he’d stop by later,” Paige says. “And Cabe, too.”

Happy nods. “Fantastic,” she mumbles. “I just want to squeeze in a nap before she –”

The baby starts crying.

“And here I go again,” she says, holding out her arms so Paige can place the baby in them.

“Hello, baby,” Happy says, sighing.

The baby feeds for just long enough that Happy practically falls asleep with her in her arms, but Toby takes her and expertly wraps her up before it happens.

“Baby’s got swaddle swag,” Toby says, holding her up for Happy to see. “Look.”

Happy smiles. “Oh, you think you’re cool.”

“I’m not cool,” Toby says, “I’m a dad.”

“You’re such a dad, Toby,” Happy murmurs, passing out against the pillows.

~

It feels like thirty seconds before she hears Toby on the phone. “No, she’s sleeping. I’ll call you when she’s awake.”

“I’m up,” Happy says, sitting up. “Is that Cabe and Sly?”

Toby nods. “Visitors?”

“Why not,” Happy mumbles, checking to make sure that the baby is in the bed. She is. “Send them over.”

Cabe and Sylvester join the party twenty minutes later, giving Happy just enough time to run to the bathroom, change, and eat something the kitchen sent up. The actions would be easy, automatic, only a few days ago, but right now she feels like she just ran a freaking marathon while underwater. Her entire body feels disconnected.

But she’s comforted by the sight in front of her: the baby, her daughter, is settled in Toby’s arms, asleep.

“She’s so beautiful,” Sylvester says, staying a good two feet away from the baby and Happy the entire time. “What’s her name?”

“Uh,” Toby says, his eyes flickering over at Happy, who is only slightly steaming, “still not there yet.”

“Aw, come on,” says Cabe lightheartedly. “You’ll get her name down soon. Don’t worry about that.” He looks at her. “God, she’s adorable. Can I hold her?”

Happy nods. “Go right ahead, Pops.”

Cabe smile is brighter than Happy’s ever seen it when their little girl rests in his arms. “I never thought I’d get to use that name,” he manages, and Toby hands him a tissue.

“Yes,” says Toby, “and you have that name because you’re very old and our daughter would only see you as a grandfather.”

Happy whacks his shoulder. “Don’t be an asshole.”

Cabe laughs, wiping at his eyes. “No, it’s alright,” he says. “I’m proud to be her Pops.”

The baby fusses awake, and looks right up at him.

“Hi there, little one,” Cabe says.

“Yeah, honey, that’s Pops,” Toby says, popping up and looking at her. “He’s ancient.”

This time Cabe smacks his arm.

“Is this beat up Toby day?” he asks.

“Yes,” the entire room replies.

“Mainly because it was beat up Happy day yesterday,” Happy adds, looking pointedly at her daughter.

It’s not long before the baby is begging to be fed again, so Cabe’s and Sly’s visit is cut short and Happy’s got some time to cool down.

“Just gonna close my eyes,” Happy says, “and if my dad calls, he can come any time. Just wake  me up.”

“Good deal,” Toby says. “Also, I’m going to kick the next person who asks about her name. You just gave birth, like we have the brain power for anything like naming a child.”

“You’re telling me,” Happy replies. “I’m half ready to swing.”

“Well, don’t do that,” Toby insists. “That could get complicated.” He pulls out his phone. “And I’m going to give a call to Derek and Emily. They’re going to be so excited.”

Happy nods. “Tell them I say hi.”

“Can I send them the picture that Paige took?” he asks.

Happy knows she looks like a train hit her in that photo, but she decides it’s fine. “Go ahead. I want them to see her.”

Toby beams at her. “Fantastic.”

“While you do that, though,” Happy says, yawning. “I’m taking a nap. Again. Until I get woken up again by you or the screaming child.”

“It’ll be me,” Toby says. “I can tell.”

Sure enough, Happy’s getting woken up by Toby soon after. “She’s hungry, Hap,” he says quietly. “And your dad just called. He’ll be here in half an hour.”

Happy nods. “Kind of starting to get sick of this constant feeding thing,” she jokes.

“If I could,” Toby says, “I would.”

Happy rolls her eyes.

“You think he’s going to ask about her name?” Toby asks.

Happy groans. “God, I hope not.”

It weighs on her even as Patrick walks into the room. “Okay, Dad,” she says as Patrick walks in the room, “if you ask me what her name is –”

Patrick holds his hands up in defense. “I will ask nothing. Just that you guys are doing okay.”

Happy relaxes, shifting the baby in her arms. “Meet your grandpa, kiddo,” she says. The word feels strange in her mouth – she’s only known Patrick for three years, only called him dad for that long, and now her daughter will know him from the first day she meets him as grandpa.

It’s weird, that’s all.

Patrick’s expression is strange. “I don’t – I don’t want to overstep,” he says, standing next to the bed, “but can I hold her?”

Happy doesn’t want to let her go. She never wants to let her kid go, because she knows how horrid it feels to be the one abandoned. She wants to hold on to her daughter for dear life.

But she trusts him. And even if he leaves, she and Toby sure as hell won’t. “Sure,” she says. She feels odd when her daughter’s gone, and Toby takes her hand like he understands it. When she handed her baby to Paige and to Cabe, Happy wasn’t quite in the moment. The whirlwind of the past few hours, of the past day, of giving birth, was too overwhelming for her to really connect to the fact that someone else was holding her kid, not to mention the sleep deprivation. But Happy’s had a little sleep and a couple meals, and now she’s more conscious of what’s going on. And she knows that she’s not too comfortable, at least not yet, with letting her daughter go anywhere but next to her and Toby.

“Can I tell you something, Happy?” Patrick says quietly, cradling the baby’s head

“Course,” Happy says, shrugging. All she’s really thinking of is when she gets her baby back.

“Your grandmother, my mother,” he says. “She was – she was outstanding. She passed away a few months before you were born, but,” he pauses, lost in memories. “She was the one who taught me all I know about mechanics .Just like you, my mother.”

Happy smiles at him, unsure of what to say. For years she’s tried to ask Patrick about her family, but there was so much sadness in his eyes when he told her his parents had both passed before she had been born, and her mother’s family was still in China and had been out of touch for years after Happy’s mother had come to the United States.

He was alone before Happy found him, that’s all she had been able to gather from what little her father had said. But now, with a smile as he holds the newest member of their family in his arms with such gentle care it’s as if he fears the baby would breaks, he’s speaking about a woman that Happy knows she would have gotten along famously with.

“Never took anybody’s BS,” Patrick laughs, rocking the baby gently. “Just like you.” He nods over to Happy. “I’m not sure you aren’t her reincarnation.”

Happy laughs. “I mean, you never know.”

Patrick shrugs. “When your mom and I told her we were pregnant, my mom was so excited to hear you were on your way. She was the first one to tell us how special you were going to be.” He sighs, a smile on his lips that’s a little sad. “She knew from the moment we told her you were coming that you were going to change the world. And I can see that in her,” he nods down to the baby. “Hell, I can see my mother in this little cutie,” he continues. “Your grandmother had the exact same nose when she was a baby – I could show you the pictures.” He smiles at Happy. “Her name was Ada,” Patrick says. “Ada Lynn Quinn.”

Immediately Toby and Happy turn to look at each other. They’d chosen Laura and Melody weeks ago, but Happy knew in her heart they might not work. But this name, one with a history and a heart that Happy never knew she would have, is right. The way it sounds, the way the first and last name go together, as much as they’ve liked Laura Grace, and Melody Grace, their daughter’s not either one of those names. At all. Until this moment, they had been at a loss for what to call the baby.

But with the exchange of one look, they agree. The name rings true with a little bit of a shift: one name. Adalyn.

“Can we have that?” Happy blurts out.

Patrick stares at her. “The picture?”

“The name,” Toby clarifies. “I think we like the name Adalyn.”

Patrick looks down at her, studying her face. “What do you think, little one?” he asks quietly. “Are you Adalyn?”

The baby makes some noises.                              

“I don’t know anything about babies,” Happy says, “but I think that was a yes.”

Happy’s desperate to get the baby back, to be the first one to call her by her name, and luckily Patrick rests her in Happy’s arms.

“Hi, Adalyn,” Happy says, testing the name out. “Adalyn Grace Curtis Quinn.”

“Is that a hyphen or a second middle name?” Toby asks. There’s a tiny smile on his lips, letting Happy know that the conversation doesn’t have to happen now.

“We all know you’ll eventually be Toby Quinn,” Patrick says.

On another day, she might have been annoyed that somebody mentioned the fact that they’re not married. But today, she’s just so glad that Adalyn is here and that she’s hers.

Toby wordlessly asks to take Adalyn, and Happy rests her in his arms. She’s closer to her face now, since Toby’s leaning against the bed. “Hi, Addie,” Toby says. “Happy, Toby, and Addie,” he says. He looks up at Patrick. “I like it.”

Patrick nods. “I’m glad I could help,” he says. He leans over and kisses Happy’s forehead. “I think your grandmother would be honored to share her name with this miracle.” He smiles down at Adalyn with something hidden behind the expression. “I’m so proud of you, Happy,” he says quietly. “And your mom would be, too.”

Happy nods, unable to keep from touching some part of Adalyn. Now that her baby, now that Adalyn, has a name, the final puzzle pieces start to slide together, and Happy can trust that this is all real. “Thanks, Dad,” she manages.

Happy turns to Toby again, and they’re quiet for a minute.

“I’ll give you guys some time,” Patrick says with a smile. “Can’t wait to see you three again, but you tell me when you want visitors.” He winks at them. “See you later.” He pats Happy’s foot gently under the blanket, like he doesn’t want to hurt her. “And congratulations.”

Happy nods, smiles at Patrick, and rests back against the bed, letting herself feel exhausted again.

“Dude,” she says to Toby, once the room is clear of anyone but her family, “people are exhausting.”

“Just wait until we get Addie home,” he says. “We’ll never sleep again.”

Happy looks at him. “Adalyn,” she corrects.

“We’ll try Adalyn until she’s eighteen months and can’t say anything but Addie,” Toby says. “Believe me, we’re going to get to a point where nicknames are easier.”

“Good point,” says Happy. “But right now, I’m calling her Adalyn.” She smiles down as the baby – as Adalyn – wiggles in Toby’s arms.

“I know I’ve said it a million times,” Toby says quietly, “but I didn’t know I could love anyone as much as I love you.”

“Talking to me or the baby?” Happy mumbles, her eyes closed.

She feels Toby’s lips press against her forehead. “Both of you,” he murmurs.

Happy smiles, reaching blindly to rest her hand on Adalyn’s tiny head. “If anyone asks,” Happy says, “I’m sleeping.”

She’s not sure when she passed out. But she does know that she didn’t say anything else after that.

~

Happy gets pretty much no sleep for the first two days of Adalyn’s life, but even without sleep she has no idea where the day goes. All she knows is that Adalyn only occasionally cries for no reason and that moving hurts like a bitch.

Every time she dozes off somebody comes up to her and asks her about something, like a lactation nurse asking if she’s having any problems breast feeding or a nurse asking her if any other bizarre medical events have happened.

“If I were concerned,” Happy says, cradling Adalyn in her arms, trying not to feel weird about the fact that she’s totally cool with a complete stranger watching her breast feed, “I would say something. I’m fine.”

Adalyn grabs onto her finger then, as if to agree.

“See?” Happy adds, yawning. “We’re fine.”

Toby walks in, carrying a balloon, a bright purple teddy bear, and a margarita.

“Surprise!” Toby exclaims.

“How’d you manage to smuggle that in here?” Happy asks, laughing. The nurse shoots Toby a look.

“You really shouldn’t be bringing alcohol into the hospital,” she says, looking uncomfortable.

Dr. Morneau comes in the rom from behind Patrick and Toby. “It’s fine, Nancy,” Dr. Morneau insists. “Special favor.” She winks at Happy. “Once Addie –”

“Adalyn,” Happy corrects.

“Right,” Dr. Morneau says, “once Adalyn is done with,” she checks her watch, “lunch, you can have a few sips.”

Happy doesn’t want to admit how excited she is to have one of those margaritas.

“I didn’t even get to really enjoy the last one before I found out,” she says, grinning.

“It was Patrick’s idea,” Toby says, nodding over to him.

“Thanks, Dad,” she says.

Toby ties the balloon to Happy’s go bag and settles the teddy bear next to Adalyn.

“That is a surprisingly cute hospital teddy bear,” she says, looking at the stuffed animal’s face.

“I know!” Toby replies. “That’s why I had to get it.” He leans in and kisses Happy’s forehead. “By the way, you’re beautiful.”

“No, I’m not,” Happy argues. “I barely managed a freaking sponge bath yesterday and I’ve seen my hair in those pictures Paige took. I look like death.”

“Lies,” Toby argues, running his fingertips along Adalyn’s arm. “You’re the hottest mom in the world.”

“That’s the strangest thing you’ve ever said,” is Happy’s reply. “Now give me the booze.”

Dr. Morneau laughs. “I’ll leave you guys on your own. Not too much of that margarita, though,” she warns.

“Can I drink at all?” Happy asks, trying not to look too disappointed.

“Oh, definitely,” Dr. Morneau says. “Just no more than one drink while you’re breast feeding, and that’s one standard drink, or else you’ll have to do what we call ‘pump and dump’. It’s not worth it.”

Happy sighs and looks at the margarita with a smile. “Fine with me. All it’ll do is make me tired, like I need any more of that.”

Dr. Morneau checks up on Adalyn once more before she leaves, and then it’s just Happy and her family in the room.

Her family.

“Alright,” Happy says, handing Addie to Toby. “It’s Mama’s margarita time.”

“Did you just call yourself ‘Mama?’” Toby asks. “Because that was the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Shut up,” Happy says. The second the tequila touches her tongue, she sighs. “Oh, I’ve missed this.”

“But she loves you more,” Toby says to Adalyn, grinning at her, “you cannot compare to a margarita.”

“Very true,” Happy says, but then she sees the look in Patrick’s eyes, and she feels like something just crawled up her throat. “Um.” She deliberately looks away from her father, trying desperately to come up with something to change the topic. She’s got no clue what to say, what to do.

And then Toby, god bless his damn heart, starts making stupid noises at Adalyn, and it’s so ridiculous she has to laugh.

“Ow,” she winces.

“Are you okay?” Toby and Patrick say at the same time. Their concern is identical, and Happy wonders when she got so lucky to have two people care about her like this.

Happy nods. “Yeah, but, as you boys will never understand, laughing is actually sort of painful.” She winces. “In every way.”

Toby nods. “And that’s why you’re a superhero.”

They talk for a while, Adalyn looking unbearably adorable when Toby changes her diaper and she kicks his arm three times when he’s trying to get the diaper on. Happy grins at him when Adalyn screeches at his attempts to tickle her tummy.

“I think she likes you more,” he grumbles.

“Yeah,” Happy replies, “but that’s only because I’m a walking food machine.”

“Hey, Happy?” Patrick says. “Now that Adalyn’s done eating, you’ve had a bit of margarita, and she’s all changed, we had a question.”

The ‘we’ throws Happy off just a little bit. “We?”

Patrick nods. “Toby and I were wondering if we could do some newborn shots of Adalyn.”

“Does that entail me being in the picture?” Happy asks warily, taking another sip of the margarita.

“Only if you want to be,” says Toby gently. “But I think you’ll like to see the pictures of how little she looks with you in the future.”

Happy sighs. “Let’s do this.”

She manages to put her unruly hair into a braided bun and Toby, bless his damn heart, managed to throw her backup makeup in their go bag, so she makes herself look halfway decent before Patrick pulls out the camera.

“Wait!” Happy says. “Not yet. I need clothes.”

“You’re wearing clothes,” Toby says, looking confused.

“I’ve been in this shirt for twelve hours,” Happy says firmly. “Pull out the purple tank top.”

He grins. “I knew you’d like that one.” Holding Addie like he’s never done anything else, he leans over to the bag and pulls out her shirt and her sweatpants. “See? I know exactly what you wanted.”

“Oh, don’t be so proud of yourself,” Happy jokes. “I told you to pack those.”

The nurse helps Happy out of her bed, even though she doesn’t quite needed. But then there’s an ache in her back that flares into pain. “Oh,” she says, frowning. “Give me a second.”

“You okay?” Toby asks.

Happy nods. “Just – give me a second.”

Every step feels like she’s abnormally squishy, but she’s okay with it whenever she gets a look at Adalyn’s little face as she’s curled up in Toby’s arms. Her fist is curled around a handful of Toby’s shirt, and he looks so right holding her like that, like he’s done this all his life.

Addie turns and looks in Happy’s direction and in that moment Happy knows – Adalyn is going to have Toby’s eyes.

“Do you need help?” Toby asks warily.

The nurse, Rachel, who had helped with Addie’s birth, seems to know that Happy doesn’t need help. She stays a step and a half away, like she knows that Happy would say something if it was necessary.

Happy shakes her head. “I’m fine.”

Toby eyes her, but she thinks the glare she shoots at him is strong enough to get him to back off.

Happy has to stop when she gets to the sink, bracing herself against it. Her body is aching and her entire self feels a little displaced, but she’s starting to feel better. Things are starting to go back the way they’re supposed to, and she’s going to be okay soon.

But, really, right now? It all feel weird.

“Okay,” she says, trying to talk herself through this. “New sweatpants, new shirt. I’m going to be comfortable.” She exhales. “If I can just get through putting them on.”

It takes a full five minutes, but she’s changed and feels magnitudes more comfortable when she’s in clothing that doesn’t have breast milk all over it. Parenthood has her thinking a bunch of weird sentences she’d never even thought before.

She walks out.

“And here she is!” Toby says. “God, you’re beautiful. Also, we took some pictures already. Adalyn and your dad, me and Addie –”

“Adalyn.”

“Right, Adalyn,” Toby says. “And then one where we made it look like Adalyn was taking the picture.”

“Ugh,” Happy groans, sitting on the bed and reaching out to take the baby. “Already making bad jokes about our kid, and you’ve been a dad for under 48 hours?”

Toby shrugs, resting Adalyn in Happy’s arms easily. “I’m a natural.”

She smiles at him. “You kind of are.”

She hears a click.

“Now that’s a good picture,” Patrick says, looking down at his phone.

He turns the phone to Happy and Toby, and Happy’s startled by what she sees. Toby’s hand is resting protectively over Adalyn’s head, and the look on his face as he gazes at Happy is almost too much for Happy to handle. Happy, though, is looking at him with a near mirror image of adoration, something she’d never thought she could have on her face. Her arms are resting around Adalyn and she looks like she’s done this a million times.

They look like parents.

“Holy crap,” Toby says. “That’s our baby.”

Happy nods. “And that’s us. Being parents.”

He turns to her. “Who let that happen?”

Toby sits practically wrapped around Happy as she holds Adalyn, and Patrick takes a million pictures. At one point Adalyn starts crying and Toby starts pretending to wail too. Happy laughs so hard she can barely breathe. It hurts a little bit – hurts a lot sometimes – but it’s worth it when Patrick shows them the picture. Happy with a massive smile on her lips and in her eyes, and Toby looking like more of a whiny baby than Adalyn, who is the actual whining baby in this picture.

“We’re using this to send the announcement of her birth,” Toby insists. “This one’s perfect.”

“Announcements?” Happy asks.

Toby nods. “You know, like little cards? One picture of the baby close up, one of the baby far away in like a basket or something else stupid, and one of the happy family looking obnoxiously perfect. You know. Making everyone think that the family is all held together and staying sane after a baby.”

Happy frowns. “We don’t look obnoxiously perfect in this picture.”

“You do,” Toby says. “And so does Addie.”

“You look like you’re having a temper tantrum in the picture,” Happy says, pointing to the picture.

“Okay, yeah,” Toby agrees. “But it works for us, right?”

She nods. “Some how, it does.”

Their photoshoot is over soon after when Addie – Adalyn – starts fussing like she’s hungry, and Patrick kisses the tops of both Addie’s and Happy’s heads as he leaves.

“See you later, Grandpa,” Happy teases.

He nods. “I know you’re trying to make fun of me, but call me Grandpa all you want,” he says. “This is wonderful.”

He walks out the door, and Toby adjusts himself in the seat. His yawn is massive.

“Have you slept since she was born?” Happy asks.

He shakes his head. “Too hyped up. The adrenaline’s kept me going.” He nods over to the side of the table. “Well, that and the coffee.”

“Sleep,” Happy insists. “Addie and I are going to be just fine. Plus, it’s late, and we want to get home tomorrow without anybody falling asleep on the drive.”

Toby’s grin grows.

“What are you all giddy about?”

“You called her Addie,” Toby says.

Happy rolls her eyes. “Okay, so maybe I like the nickname,” she concedes.

He leans over and kisses Happy again. “I love you.”

She leans over and kisses his cheek. “Love you, too.”


	24. Adalyn, 3 and 4 days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parenthood is a whole new ballgame when you bring the baby home.

Adalyn, 3 days

At ten in the morning on Adalyn’s third day of life, Happy’s completed all the absurd tasks that would have humiliated her prior to giving birth, and Dr. Morneau clears both her and Adalyn to go home. The birth certificate is signed and completed, and when Happy sees Adalyn’s name written out on the paper, it makes her certain that they made the right choice. Just as she’s their little girl, she’s their Adalyn.

While Toby does some kangaroo care time with Addie, Happy steps into the hospital shower and tries to wash off some of the exhaustion. She thinks about the differences of herself now, and it, surprisingly, doesn’t upset her. And then she realizes she’ll be able to run again in a few weeks without worrying about Adalyn beyond which stroller she’s in, and she feels better. The water is just cool enough to startle her, and wakes her up just enough to feel a little panicked about the idea of going home to parent a newborn.

“I know I hate hospitals,” says Happy as the nurse wheels her out, Adalyn safely settled in her car seat in Toby’s arms, “but is there any way we could hire somebody to help us?”

“Nope,” says Toby, “because we don’t make quite enough for a live in nurse.”

“You’ll do just fine,” says the soothing voice of the nurse. He’s the one who cooled her down after her last freak out by telling her that, if she could survive childbirth without medication, she can survive anything. “And you can always call – we have a hotline.”

Happy nods. “Right,” she says. “We’ve got this. We’ve prevented multiple apocalyptic scenarios. We can raise one kid.”

“You’ve done what?” the nurse asks.

“Don’t ask,” says Toby. “It’s a long story.” He pauses. “Multiple long stories.”

Happy’s hesitant to put Addie – Adalyn – in the car. She knows, logically, that this is the most structurally sound car seat being settled in the most structurally sound car.

But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a car, and Happy’s rebuilt enough cars to know that cars can kill. Easily.

“You okay, Hap?” Toby asks gently.

“Just,” Happy frowns. “I know cars. I know we have a safe car. I know I gave up a motorcycle for this soccer mom car. And yet, I can’t put her in the soccer mom car.”

“Do you need me to do it?” Toby asks cautiously.

“No,” Happy replies. “I’ll do it. Eventually. But she’s safe with me.”

“And when I’m driving –”

“You’re driving?” Happy asks, folding her arms. “Very funny.”

Toby looks at her. “Happy,” he says carefully, “your body and brain are completely overwrought right now. And I know you know that. The second the car starts, you’re going to check on Addie and then full on collapse.”

“I won’t,” Happy lies.

Toby leans in and kisses her forehead. “We’ll err on the side of caution, then,” he suggests. She’s about to argue, but then she yawns, and the knowing Doctor Face Toby’s got makes her realize she’s too tired to disagree.

Happy manages to click Adalyn’s baby seat into the base and can barely handle walking away to sit in the back seat. The second she’s sitting, the second she’s not on her feet, she feels the exhaustion begin to overwhelm the pain and the fear.

Toby drives surprisingly well through LA traffic to get them home, and he was right about one thing. Happy falls asleep with her hand holding Addie’s until they pull into the driveway.

“I’m up,” Happy says, sitting up straight.

“You’re going to sleep,” Toby says firmly. “Addie and I can have some bonding time.”

“But I –”

Toby gives her one look and she can’t fight it. “Okay,” she says. “As long as you guys are in the room with me.”

“Never going to leave you,” Toby says. Happy takes the go bag and Toby takes the baby carrier as they unlock the door and walk into the apartment, Happy struggling on the few steps up to their main floor.

“Oh, god, we’re home,” Happy groans. “I just want to face plant in bed.”

And she does just that, curling up on her side and pretending that tiny action wasn’t kind of painful. Toby smooths the crazy hair out of Addie’s eyes as he unhooks her from her car seat, picking her up gently and settling her in his arms.

“Look at her,” Toby says. He’s a natural, somehow. Happy’s not sure how he does it, but he knows exactly how to cradle her, how to keep her from crying. Happy hopes she learns.

Adalyn starts fussing, and Happy checks her watch.

“Oh,” she says. “Right. Schedule. Feedings.”

Toby nods. “No rest for the weary.”

Happy looks up at him as she fixes her shirt. The nursing bra gets tangled in the strap of her tank top, then the button gets hooked on the strap.

“Ugh, forget it,” Happy grumbles. She pulls her shirt off over her head. “Give me one of your hoodies.”

“As you wish,” Toby says. He leaps out of bed and grabs his favorite one, one that says BOSTON across the front and has been worn down a million ways over the years. He hands it to Happy.

“You sure?” she asks, pulling it on. “Because this is going to get trashed in about four seconds if she gets sick.”

Toby shrugs. “I want her to like the hoodie as much as I do.”

“You’re weird,” Happy says. But it’s a good weird. She hopes Addie has some of it in her, his unfailing optimism, his faith in people. His belief that things will go the way they should and his calm demeanor in hectic situations. It becomes real again, that this is her daughter with Toby, and she hopes that Addie is like him.

“I love you,” Happy says, because she’s not sure how to say everything else she’s thinking.

Toby snuggles up to her so that she’s resting against his chest instead of against the back of the bed, and she’s able to relax a little more. Addie’s getting fairly good at this whole breast feeding thing, though sometimes (often) she’ll end up getting milk all over herself and making a mess.

Toby presses a kiss to Happy’s temple. “Have I mentioned how great you are?”

“Yes,” Happy laughs, grinning up at him. “A lot. And it’s always true.”

Toby shrugs, reaching up to run his finger along Adalyn’s soft, pink cheek. “Of course it is,” he says quietly. “I can’t believe we have a baby.”

“You need to stop saying that,” Happy says. “Because I don’t want you to think you’re dreaming or something and pull an Inception.”

Toby rolls his eyes. “That movie has so many problems.”

“Making a joke,” Happy says, rolling her eyes. They’re quiet for a while, just watching their daughter. Eventually she finishes eating, signaling it by flailing her feet and pulling away. She starts crying.

“Daddy’s got this,” Toby says, picking Adalyn up. “I burped my cousins all the time.” He looks down at her. “But don’t spit up on me, okay? I’m extremely attached to this whole not puking on Dad thing, okay?”

That lasts about forty seconds, and Addie spits up all over his leg.

Toby sighs. “I mean, I guess it was a lot to ask of a person who isn’t even a week old. But still.”

Toby hands Adalyn back to Happy, who leans back and lets Addie rest on her chest. She wiggles a little bit, pushing herself just slightly.

“Where are you going, kid?” Happy laughs. “Good luck.”

Soon, Addie’s tuckered herself out enough to fall back asleep.

“Aw, come on,” Toby says, pouting. “I stand up for three seconds and she’s asleep?”

Happy nods. “You want her?”

Toby holds Adalyn with this way of being protective and calm that Happy doesn’t know how to mirror. He’s got a way of resting her in one arm and holding her with the other that looks so damn natural that Happy wishes she knew how to do it too.

“I need to figure out more of this baby thing,” Happy mumbles.

“What do you mean?” Toby asks. “You’re already good at it.”

“Not like you are,” Happy replies, nodding to him as he holds Addie. “She’s all content and sleepy with you, and then you give her to me and I can’t figure out where to put her head.”

Toby looks genuinely bewildered. “But you’re so good at it!” he replies.

Happy stares. “No, I’m not. This is one of the few things I’ve tried to do with absolutely no frame of reference. I’m making this up as I go.”

Toby smiles at her. “Want to know a secret?”

Happy rolls her eyes.

“That’s going to be how both of us feel for the rest of our parenting lives,” he says, smoothing Adalyn’s hair. “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”

“Oh, good,” Happy says feeling relieved. “So we have two geniuses feeling stupid for the first time in their lives. This should be an adventure.”

“You’re not kidding.”

Toby rests Adalyn in between them, and Happy watches her as she sleeps on her back, her hands curled up above her head. She’s incredibly small, tiny toes and tiny fingers on tiny feet and tiny hands, and little rosebud lips on a pretty face. Her hair stands out, dark like Happy’s against their blue sheets. She’s serenity incarnate as she sleeps, looking like a little doll.

“I know she’s tiny,” Happy says, “but I’m still a little freaked out that a human came out of me.”

Toby groans. “You make it sound like you gave birth to an alien.”

“It kind of was like that,” Happy says, grinning at the look of annoyance on Toby’s face. “Maybe instead of Addie we could call her Alien.”

Toby shoves his face into his pillow. “Not this again.”

“Or we could just change her name,” Happy continues, because she’s having too much fun and annoying Toby is even more entertaining when she knows their daughter is right between them with the onesie Toby picked out for her, when she knows this is the family she will hold onto until the world ends. “Alien Grace Curtis Quinn.” She laughs quietly. “It has the same sort of flow as Adalyn.”

“You’re horrible,” Toby says. But the words pack no punch, and he leans over to kiss her. “I can’t believe we have a baby.”

“I can,” Happy says. “My uterus reminds me every time I laugh, talk, move, or breathe.”

“And I appreciate the sacrifice your uterus made,” Toby says, like this isn’t the weirdest conversation they’ve ever had. Then again, it might not be.

He settles back down on the bed so his eyes are level with Addie. “Welcome home, baby girl,” Toby murmurs, gently touching her cheek. “We knew we loved you before we met you.”

“Are you quoting Savage Garden?” Happy asks.

Toby grins. “Not directly,” he replies. “But sort of.”

“You were that guy who used to put Savage Garden on repeat outside a girl’s house,” Happy laughs.

And then Toby goes pink.

“Oh, no way,” Happy says, far too excited. “You did?”

“It was Truly Madly Deeply,” Toby mumbles. “I had a massive crush on this girl Nia. And I was this skinny fourteen year old in all of her med classes and I didn’t realize that she wasn’t anywhere near my age. So I went to her apartment and blared it.”

“On a boom box?” Happy asks, trying not to feel too excited. Addie fusses and she leans in to kiss her cheek, feeling irrationally proud of herself when Addie reaches out and grabs her finger, falling back to sleep instantly.

“On a boom box,” Toby admits. He smiles at her. “Would that have worked on you?”

Happy scoffs. “No,” she replies. “Because I would have been, like, nine years old. And in LA.”

“I’ll be your love, I’ll be your –”

“Oh, no,” Happy groans.

Toby goes into an incredibly moving, but only because it’s so bad, rendition of Truly Madly Deeply. She can’t stop laughing at him, and the combination of the two of them making noise is enough to make Addie fuss and wiggle in her bed.

“Oh, no, go back to sleep, beautiful,” Toby says, his voice softening to barely more than a whisper. He looks at Addie in a way Happy’s never seen from a third party, and now she’s beginning to understand just how everyone knew how in love with her he was from the start. Happy watches them for long enough that she starts getting pulled in by sleep, but she fights it, desperate to hold onto these moments. If there’s one thing she knows, it’s that time doesn’t stop for long enough to have everything you want.

She wants these moments etched into her memory so, when she’s older and the world looks different around her, when Addie's grown up and doesn't need her like she needs her now, Happy can close her eyes and let Addie's childhood replay like a movie. She closes her eyes, playing the first moment she saw Adalyn. It’s already a comforting memory beyond any others.

Happy yawns, forcing her eyes open, and Toby looks up at her. “Go to sleep, love,” Toby murmurs. Happy’s eyes flutter closed. “I’ll keep an eye on both of my girls.”

“I know,” Happy mumbles, her eyelids too heavy to open again. She reaches out and rests her hand on Addie’s arm, just reminding herself that her daughter is there, and she hears Toby laugh.

“What?”

“I just keep forgetting this is all real,” he says in a quiet voice. “That I get to have people like you and Addie in your life.”

“Well,” Happy says, “like you said. “We’re your girls.”

Toby sighs. “And damn, am I lucky.”

~

She feels the mattress dip as Toby sits next to her some time later.

“What time is it?” Happy asks. She looks around. “Did you guys go somewhere?”

“We were grabbing Addie a new diaper,” Toby says, pressing kisses all over Addie’s face. “And it’s five in the afternoon. You’ve been out for an hour.”

As she shifts, she realizes she does feel a bit better. Her body’s still sore, but she feels better.

She reaches out wordlessly and Toby rests Adalyn with her. Something about the way Addie fits in her arms is perfect beyond what she could have imagined.

Toby falls against the pillows. “Day three of parenting and I’m already wiped,” he says. He pulls off his hat and sets it on Happy’s head. “You look cute though.”

“Yeah, sure,” Happy says. She shakes her head until the hat falls off.

“No, really,” Toby insists. “Motherhood looks good on you.”

“When you say it like that it makes me sound old.”

“Nah,” he kisses her cheek. “It makes you sound amazing.”

Toby puts on TV while Happy gives breastfeeding another whirl, and once Adalyn is done she starts to wail.

“Oh, no, don’t do that,” Happy says, the exhaustion creeping in. She picks Adalyn up and rests her on her shoulder, patting her back. “No screaming, you just had dinner. And Dad just changed your diaper.” The wailing grows stronger. “Oh, god.”

“I’ll be right back.” Toby gets up and sprints to the living room, and Happy just watches him go, unsure of what the hell his next move is.

Then Addie spits up all over Happy’s shoulder.

“Aw, crap,” Toby says, a bright green burp cloth in his hand. “I was hoping to avoid that.”

Happy grabs the cloth and mops herself up while Toby takes the baby and cleans her.

“The last time I was so intimately acquainted with somebody else’s puke was that time you, me and Cabe had that drinking contest.”

“Yeah,” says Toby, letting Addie suck on his knuckle, “that’s not happening again.”

Happy stares. “How come she doesn’t cry when you hold her?”

“You had her for a good hour and she didn’t cry,” Toby says. “Mainly because you’re feeding her, but still the sentiment’s there.”

“How are you so chipper?” Happy asks, interrupting herself with a yawn.

“Caffeine and sheer adrenaline,” Toby responds. “And the newly minted Dad love.”

“Aw,” says Happy. “You’re a dad.”

“You’re a mom,” Toby replies.

Addie makes a miserable noise as she squirms away from Toby’s finger.

“I’ll go check her diaper,” Happy says, standing gingerly. “You get some sleep.”

Toby shifts Adalyn to Happy’s arms. “What are you talking about?” he says gleefully. “We’re never sleeping again.”

~

Addie, 4 days

Toby’s right. Happy sleeps when Addie does, which isn’t saying all that much. Addie, pretty consistently, sleeps three hours, wakes up hungry, sleeps forty-five minutes, wakes up with a wet or dirty diaper, fusses just enough that Happy worries and Toby tries three pacifiers and resting his knuckle in her mouth to soothe her, and then sleeps for another three hours.

It’s wiping Happy out fast, but she’s weirdly content.

She’s woken up on Addie’s fourth day of life by Toby and a plate of toast.

“Hi,” he says, smile sunny but eyes exhausted. “Her diaper’s changed, but I think she’s hungry again.” He holds up the plate. “I brought you toast and a baby.”

“Awesome,” Happy says, yawning. “Could you by any chance get me a glass of water?”

“Oh, yes,” Toby says. “It’s on the kitchen table. I couldn’t figure out how to carry the kid, the toast, and the glass at the same time.” He kisses her forehead as he sets Addie in Happy’s arms, then goes to get the water.

“Hi, kiddo,” Happy says, yawning again. “I’m tired as hell. You must be exhausted.”

Addie fusses, but she looks up at Happy with just enough meaning that Happy feels her heart flutter.

“You’re not allowed to be cute when you’re crying,” Happy says, unzipping the hoodie she’d stolen from Toby. “That’s just unfair.”

“Now you know how annoying it is when you look like you do when you’re mad at me,” Toby says, sliding next to her in bed. “You’ll be yelling at me and all I can think of is how pretty your eyes are.”

“You are laying it on thick lately,” Happy laughs, waiting for Addie to latch.

Toby shrugs, pulling on one of his hoodies that Happy hasn’t grabbed in the past few days. “You deserve it.”

Addie finally starts eating, and Happy rests her head on Toby’s shoulder. “I’m so tired.”

“I know,” Toby says, kissing the top of her head. Happy’s not sure how he does it, but he wraps his arms around Happy’s back just enough so he can take some of Addie’s weight off of Happy’s arm. “I wish I could do more.”

“Hey, taking diaper duty was way appreciated,” Happy mumbles. “You’re doing a lot.”

Toby sighs and wraps his arm around her shoulders. “I know. I just wish there was more.”

Happy shrugs. “Well, when she starts having temper tantrums, you can use your fancy Harvard degree to take care of that.”

Toby laughs. “I do have background in child development.”

“Barely,” Happy adds. “What do you remember about milestones? Like, when should she begin walking, talking, rolling over?”

And that’s when Toby unleashes about ten straight minutes of information. His lecture outlasts Addie, who finishes eating and lets out a burp loud enough that Toby stops his speech.

“Holy crap,” he says, looking at Addie in astonishment. “Did that noise come out of our six pound daughter?”

“That it did,” Happy says, looking at Addie. She’s already about to sleep, though, so Happy settles down against the pillows and rests Addie on her chest, zipping the hoodie up around her.

“You two look adorable like that,” Toby says. “Can I take a picture?”

“No,” Happy says automatically. But then she thinks of how little Addie is, how the time she’ll have where she can zip her daughter up in Toby’s sweatshirt with her. And it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

Toby pouts. “But imagine how sweet these photos will look in six years when she’s going off to first grade and she’s so big and she barely hugs us when she runs off to the bus?”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “You’ve thought this through.”

“I have.”

She smiles at him. “Fine. Just make sure I don’t look terrible.”

“You can’t look terrible,” he says, pulling out his phone. “You’re holding our baby and wearing my MIT hoodie. You look,” he leans down to kiss her, “perfect.”

Happy smiles up at the picture as Addie snuggles against her.

“Wait, unzip the hoodie a little bit,” Toby says. “I can’t really see Addie.”

“This good?” Happy asks. “Because I can’t really unzip much further without flashing the Cloud.”

“Good point,” Toby says. He changes the angle just enough so that Happy can smile up at him. “Perfect!” he decides, grinning down at them. He falls back next to her to show Happy the picture. Happy’s smile is soft and subtle, Addie’s eyes are completely closed, and somehow Toby made it look like Happy’s not half asleep.

“Nice photography skills,” Happy says, holding Addie. “I’m impressed. I don’t look like a rotting zombie.”

“Why would you ever look like a rotting zombie?” Toby asks warily. “Of all possible mental images for yourself, you had to go with rotting zombie?”

Happy shrugs. “I look exhausted.”

“You,” Toby kisses her, “look,” he kisses her forehead, “beautiful. Even more so when you’re curled up with our daughter.”

“You sure love saying that,” Happy laughs, but she hopes he never stops saying it.

Addie falls asleep within a few minutes, and Happy snuggles up against Toby. “You think we’ll end up sleeping for more than 3 hours ever again?”

Toby laughs. “Probably not,” he says, picking Addie up and settling her in the bassinet beside Happy’s side of the bed. “But I think it’s worth it.” He kisses the top of Happy’s head. “Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up if she’s hungry.”

Happy nods, but she’s out like a light.


	25. Addie, 2 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All baby, all the time. They need some sort of a break.

The next handful of days are a blur. Luckily the team has decided that, save an apocalypse, everyone’s taking the week off. Toby and Happy asked for – more like demanded on Happy’s part – that they get some space for a big chunk of time after the hospital, expecting to want constant baby and family time with no interruptions.

But they've been home for over a week. At this point, they’ve had enough of baby time. They need actual human time.

Toby’s making them breakfast after Addie had a horrible night, crying miserably and spitting up like she’s never done before. Happy had suggested that Toby sleep because she still hasn’t gotten a hang of the stupid breast pump and figured she might as well keep an eye on the kid all night if she’d be waking up to feed her. Except it turned into Addie spitting up everywhere and Happy forgetting what day it was when the sun came up, and Toby waking up at six in the morning to Addie swaddled with a pacifier in her mouth and Happy sitting against their bedroom door, just staring at the bassinet.

"Are you okay?" Toby asks. He looks concerned.

"Fine," Happy replies, a little flatly. "Just tired. She finally calmed down, but now I need to calm down."

Toby kisses the top of her head. "Let me make you dinner," Toby says quietly. "I'm wheel Addie in and you go snuggle up on the couch."

Happy nods. She wants to be present and aware, but now she’s delirious and exhausted. All she wants is to talk to somebody about something other than diaper changes. Addie’s finally fallen asleep and Happy would pass right out if she weren’t starving.

With perfect timing, Toby walks into the living room where Happy’s made her nest on the couch with a plate of perfectly made breakfast and a water bottle the size of a small tank.

“Eggs and bacon, and enough water to drown the state of New Hampshire,” Toby says, kissing her forehead. “Also, I love you.”

She laughs. “Even though I look like death?”

“Especially when you look like death. Now eat up.” He peeks over into Addie’s bassinet. “You think she’s out for a while?”

“I hope so,” Happy says. “I need to eat and then pass out for a couple years.”

“I hate to bring this up,” says Toby, “but the only way I can be on baby duty for more than a few hours hours is if you pump.”

Happy groans and then shoves a giant forkful of egg in her mouth.

“This baby stuff is bullshit,” she says as she goes into the bedroom to grab the stupid machine. “They could at least create something less horrible.”

“Got to drink some water first,” Toby says, and, to his credit, he looks sympathetic. “You know. So it doesn’t suck you into the machine.”

“Oh, awesome,” Happy says. “That’s a wonderful thing to say to the mother of your child. When my insides stop feeling like they’re falling out, I’m going to kick your ass.”

Toby laughs. “And I’m sure I’ll deserve it.”

Happy chugs half the bottle before she hooks herself up to the machine and tries to eat while being overwhelmingly annoyed.

Toby’s laughing.

“I dare you,” says Happy, “to say something.”

“Nope,” says Toby. “Just admiring the lengths you go to for our daughter.”

Happy crams the rest of the food into her mouth then throws one of Toby’s zip up sweaters on while the machine works.

“I think the worst part of this is how cold I am,” she says. “It’s annoying and it kind of hurts, but it’s mostly irritating that I can’t wear a shirt without getting half tangled in the stupid tubes.”

“Well,” says Toby. “I have an idea.” He sets down his plate and sits on the couch, pulling Happy so she’s leaning right up against his chest.

Immediately she feels warmer.

She snuggles against him. “This would be a lot more romantic if this thing wasn’t running,” Happy says.

Toby kisses her cheek. “It’s romantic anyway.”

Happy shakes her head. “It’s really not.”

Happy manages to fall asleep against Toby’s chest even as the machine does its job. With Addie sleeping and the machine’s repetitive noises, the all around discomfort fades away, overtaken by her absolute exhaustion. Toby has to wake her up about twenty minutes later.

“Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t want you to get sucked into the machine, and I’m fairly certain there’s no universe where you want someone else disconnecting you from this thing.”

“You’ve got that right.”

After she disconnects, Happy throws on a tee shirt and puts the hoodie back on. “I’m just going to sleep on you now, if that’s okay.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Toby says. “You need to go to bed so I don’t wake you up whenever Addie needs something.”

Happy whines and turns her face against his chest. “But then I’m gonna be cold,” she whines.

“Parenthood has made you cuddly,” Toby says. “I like it. But you need to sleep.”

Happy argues halfheartedly, but then gets up when Toby threatens to carry her.

“You’re the worst,” she says, kissing him as she falls into bed.

“I love you too.”

She wakes up six hours later feeling rested – actually rested. But her breasts ache like nothing else - she's got to take care of this ASAP. She peeks into the living room to see Toby and Addie passed out on the couch next to each other. She tiptoes in and, jostling her people as little as possible, places Addie in her bassinet to sleep on her own. She throws a blanket over Toby and, in a moment of clarity, realizes she hasn’t showered in three days. She pumps first, to rid herself of the annoying ache, and then she moves as fast as she can to get to the bathroom.

The feeling as the water hits her is so amazing she moans. It’s a short shower because she can’t quell her worry about Addie’s safety even though she knows it’s irrational, but it’s probably the best shower she’s ever had in her life. Getting dressed in clean clothes with washed hair is probably the most herself she’s felt since Addie was born. Something about the water made some of the ache in her body from Addie’s birth fade, and she’s starting to feel close to normal again. She’s almost convinced things could actual get back to normal.

She still pulls Toby’s hoodie back over her shoulders, though.

Happy walks out of the bathroom to see Toby on the couch, changing Addie and singing to her quietly.

As she’s never heard Toby sing this meaningfully in her life, Happy hovers back until she realizes it’s a slow version of Rock You Like a Hurricane.

“Are you singing a song about one night stands to our newborn?” Happy asks.

Toby starts enough to jostle the diaper, and Addie makes a distressed sort of squeak.

“Careful,” Happy says, rushing over to check on the baby.

“She’s fine, isn’t she,” says Toby, kissing Addie’s forehead. “And to answer your question, yes. Our baby will be exposed to high quality 80’s music from day one.” He finishes fastening the diaper and picks Addie back up.

Happy considers it. “Can we toss in some Black Sabbath and Ramones?”

Toby looks offended. “We’ve already sung Sheena Is a Punk Rocker and Iron Man. I know exactly the kind of music you’d want our kid to absorb.”

Happy smiles at him. “Alright, I’ll give you that.”

“I also had her listen to What Makes You Beautiful,” Toby says, grinning.

“Oh, my god,” she groans. “It’s not a classic! We’ve been over this.”

“Lies,” Toby says. “Addie thought the song was fantastic. Didn’t you, baby girl?”

Addie does not respond, more interested in staring at Toby’s face

Happy sits down on the couch next to Toby, resting her hand on Addie’s tiny head.

"It's a good thing you got up now," Toby mutters. "We ran out of bottles an hour ago and I would have had to wake you up."

"What can I say?" Happy replies, yawning. "I've got killer timing."

They're quiet for a moment. “You feeling better?” Toby asks.

Happy nods. “Not 100% yet, but close enough.” She wrinkles her nose. “I still feel squishy, if that makes any sense.”

Toby eyes her. “Ready enough for visitors, perhaps?” He looks so hopeful that it’s almost sad.

“Oh, thank god,” Happy groans. “I need to talk to other people, Toby, I don’t even care if they’re here when I’m breastfeeding. I just need to think of something other than when I’m changing a diaper or feeding her next. Or when I’m pumping. This baby thing sucks.”

“Want me to call the team?” Toby asks. His phone is already out and in his hand.

“I’ll clean this place up.”

Toby calls Paige and tells her to invite the team over to visit Addie, then jumps into the shower. Addie, miraculously, falls asleep after Happy feeds, burps, and swaddles her. She seems to like the bassinet, so Happy keeps her safe in there, and wheels it around the apartment as she picks things up.

When she walks into the bedroom to make her face look a little more lifelike, she hears Toby moan, “Oh, god.”

She peeks in the bathroom. “You good?”

“Happy, showering is amazing,” he says. “I forgot how great showers were.”

Happy laughs and pulls the shower curtain back, wrapping her hand around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

His wet arm loops around her waist and pulls her close enough that she can’t help but step into the shower.

“I just got out of the here,” Happy mumbles against his lips.

“Yeah,” Toby says, “and now you’re in the shower again.”

They get a couple of seconds, Happy getting a sprayed by the shower head more than she intends, to themselves before Addie wakes up and cries out.

“You finish up in here,” Happy says, “I’ll get her.”

She rushes into their bedroom and changes into a pair of leggings and a button down, throws on another one of Toby’s hoodies, and looks down to see Addie squirming in her bed, her cries different than usual.

“Huh,” Happy says, frowning. “That’s weird.”

She picks Addie up, throwing a burp cloth over her shoulder, and Addie immediately spits up.

“That explains it,” Happy says. She wipes Addie’s mouth and settles her in the crook of her arm. “Would you stop doing that?”

Addie makes a sad little noise, then starts crying differently.

“You hungry, little one?” Happy asks. “Probably. You’re either hungry or angry. Kind of like your mom.”

“Exactly like your mom,” Toby corrects. He scrubs his hair with a towel, and he’s smiling at her in a way that floods Happy’s heart with warmth.

“They’ll be here in about twenty minutes,” says Toby. “Anything you need me to do while Addie’s having,” he checks his watch, “brunch? Again?” He looks down at Addie. “Jesus, kid, you’re going to eat us out of house and home in a few years.”

“I wouldn’t say no to a sandwich,” Happy says, and Toby darts into the kitchen.

“Uh oh,” he says, loudly enough for Happy to hear.

“What uh oh?” Happy asks. She’s too damn tired to handle any ‘uh ohs’ today.

“We might be running low on food.”

Happy groans, then looks at Addie. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” she jokes. “You’re cramping our style.”

Addie finishes up by getting milk all over herself, but she doesn’t fall asleep immediately. Instead, she’s looking around the room, as if everything is interesting to her eyes.

“I know you technically can’t see,” Happy says, “according to your dad. But that’s a fan, and that’s a TV, and that’s a pair of your dad’s pants that he forgot to pick up, because he’s an idiot.” Happy manages to bend down, baby in her arms, to pick up the jeans, and feels so proud of herself for doing it that she laughs at herself.

“That’s what I call multitasking, Addie,” she says with a grin.

Toby walks into the living room and hands Happy a fairly sad sandwich, but Happy’s hungry and will basically eat anything right now. Then a slice of tomato slides out and lands on Addie’s stomach.

“Is that funny or am I an asshole?” Toby asks.

“It’s funny,” Happy decides. “Definitely funny.”

Addie makes the tinniest little snuffling noise, then wrinkles her nose.

“I think she’s mad we’re making fun of her,” Toby says. He leans over the back of the couch. “Yeah, baby?”

Addie opens her mouth and lets out a piercing wail. Happy and Toby both wince, leaning away from her.

“Ow,” Happy says. She tries to soothe Addie, but bouncing her just seems to enrage her more.

“Why’s she screaming?” Happy asks. “What’d I do?” She wants to cry as much as Addie is right now – sure she slept five hours, but before that she’d slept less than two over a twenty four hour period and she’s starting to lose her grip.

“Other than dropping a tomato on her, no idea,” says Toby. “Want me to try?”

Happy nods and hands Addie off. Toby takes her and props her up on his shoulder. He starts singing.

“Rick Springfield?” Happy asks. “Really?”

“I wish that I had Jessie's girl,” Toby sings, shrugging. “I’m trying anything, Hap. I’m out of ideas.”

“I’ve got an idea,” says Happy. She turns on the radio, wincing as she has to step over something. “Everything still hurts. What the hell?”

“You had a baby,” Toby says, pointing to Addie. “Hurting is an inevitable yet sucky side effect.”

“You’re telling me,” Happy replies. She changes the station to the rock station. You Shook Me All Night Long starts blaring, and immediately Addie quiets down.

“Seriously?” Toby says, looking at the silent baby on his shoulder. “ACDC? This is your jam?” He starts bouncing with Addie, and she snuggles up to him, her little hand flexing and her legs wiggling.

“Our kid is a rocker,” says Happy. “I should have expected it.”

“Hey, at least we’ll never have to put those awful kid CDs on in the car,” Toby says, still bouncing around with her. “Will we, baby?”

That’s when the door swings open. Happy turns around to see Paige and Ralph’s befuddled expressions, and Sly looking pleased.

“Oh hey, ACDC,” he says. “Nice choice.”

“Aren’t you trying to get the kid to sleep?” Paige asks dropping what appears to be a bag from every single baby store in the area.

“She likes it,” Toby says over the music. He turns Addie toward them. “See? She’s calm now.”

Paige shrugs. “Ralph only liked listening to me singing show tunes. Anything from the forties, actually.”

“And Frank Sinatra, like Dad,” Ralph adds. Paige nods.

Happy risks turning the music down, and Addie stays quiet.

“Oh, thank god,” Happy says. “That was starting to give me a headache.”

Paige holds her arms out. “Can I hold her?”

“Sure, but then it’s your job to make her stop screaming,” Toby says. He settles Addie in Paige’s arms, and Happy feels weirdly jealous with how easy it is for Paige, how quickly and effortlessly it is for her to hold Addie.

“She looks like you,” Paige says.

“I know,” Happy and Toby say at the same time.

Paige smiles. “I was actually talking to Toby.”

“When she gets more hair she’ll look like me,” Happy clarifies. “And when she opens her eyes. Eyes closed, she looks like Toby.”

Toby looks obnoxiously smug. “She looks like me,” he repeats.

Happy shoots him a look, then steps toward Paige. “I need to take a good look at mini Toby.”

“You just want mama cuddles,” Paige says, settling Addie in Happy’s arms. “No matter who she looks like, she’s so cute. And I mean it.”

“As opposed to lying?” Happy asks, letting Addie settle in the crook of her elbow.

Paige nods. “As a person who generally finds babies cute, there are some that are just,” she wrinkles her nose. “Well, some babies look like old men. Addie,” she says, looking at the baby, “is actually a cute baby.”

“Mom,” says Ralph. “You forgot. You said you’d forget.”

“What’d I forget?” Paige asks. “Oh! Right.” And she runs out of the apartment.

“What did she forget?” Happy asks warily. “She didn’t buy more baby clothes, did she?”

“No,” Ralph replies. “But she spent three hours last night making food for you guys. She made me do all the calculations to figure out how much we could make with what we had.”

“She did?”

Ralph nods. “Apparently I’m not putting my talents to good use frequently enough.”

Toby laughs. “We should try that one on Addie when she gets older.”

“Let’s concentrate on getting her to reach milestone one first,” Sylvester says. “That’s rolling over, right?”

Happy shrugs, resting Addie against the crook of her elbow so she can see everyone more easily. “Probably. I’ve got no idea. I’ve never done this before.”

Sylvester looks like he’s trying to fight an inner war.

“Sly, you okay?” Toby asks. “Are you freaking out about germs? Because we changed her right before you all got here.”

Sylvester shakes his head. “No,” he says, “I was wondering if I could hold her, is all.”

Toby looks elated. “Sure, you can hold her,” he says. “Happy?”

Happy looks down at Addie. As much as she wants her to be safe in either hers or Toby’s arms at all times, she knows rationally that that’s not going to happen. Also, if she’s going to give her kid to anybody, she’s going to give her to one of the team. She can trust everyone in her apartment right now to hold her kid properly.

At the same time, she knows she doesn’t want to let Addie go.

“Yeah, of course,” Happy says, faking a smile.

“I think I should sit in a chair,” Sylvester says, looking around the living room. “I have only held an infant four times in my life.”

“Ever dropped one?” Toby says, looking about as hesitant as Happy feels.

Sylvester shakes his head. “One,” he clears his throat, “had an incident when I was holding him.”

“Babies poop, Sylvester,” Toby says. “You can say the words.”

"Did you drop the baby?" Happy asks pointedly, ignoring Toby. "Because with a one in four chance, I don't like my odds."

"I didn't drop any babies," Sylvester says. "I just got nervous and gave the baby back to his mom really fast." Sylvester holds out his arms. “May I hold her?”

Happy settles Addie into Sylvester’s arms gently. Only a few days ago she was where Sylvester is – hesitant, unsure, awkward around infants. Now she feels like she, Paige, and Toby are the only ones who can do this right.

Sylvester holds Addie like she’s porcelain covered in paint, like any wrong move will damage her and him at the same time.

Paige comes back in a moment later, carrying three large bags.

“Enough meals for three weeks,” she says with a smile. “This way you only have to go grocery shopping for the standards, not for meals.” She sets them down. “Do you have room in your freezer?”

“We have too much room in our freezer,” Toby corrects. “We haven’t been grocery shopping since a week before Addie got here.”

“Well, then,” Paige says with a smile. “Then it’s a good thing I swept in and saved the day.”

“No kidding,” Toby says. “We’d be screwed without you guys.”

Sylvester lasts another thirty seconds before he gives Addie back to Happy, and Happy holds onto her for about three seconds before Ralph asks to hold her.

“Are you sure?” Paige says, after Happy says it’s okay.

Happy nods, because, goddamnit, she’s not going to be a clingy mom, she’s not. “I think he’s got steady enough hands, right Ralph?”

Ralph nods, his arms outstretched.

Happy and Paige help him position his arms correctly, but the smile on his face when he looks down at Addie is something Happy will never forget.

“I’m really glad I have a baby cousin,” Ralph says, looking elated. He looks up at Happy. “I’m her big cousin still, right?”

“Without a doubt,” Happy agrees.

Ralph smiles at her, silent communication they’ve gotten so good at, and he rocks her gently.

“I like her,” Ralph decides. “She’s quiet.”

Toby makes a noise between a scoff and a snort. “Sorry,” he says, waving them off. “Running on 2-4 hours of sleep a night because she really isn’t that quiet. She’s just trying to impress the family.”

Cabe and Walter get there a few minutes later, and Paige orders Chinese food brought to the apartment just as Addie begins fussing.

“And that’s my cue,” Happy says, reaching out to take Addie from Cabe’s arms. “Sorry, Pops. This is one thing you can’t do.”

Cabe laughs. “Believe me, I know.”

Happy’s relieved to have some time she has to be on her own. She curls up in bed with Addie in her arms, and adjusts her shirt. Addie calms the moment she latches and so does Happy. She’d never realized what this would feel like, the realization that the most important person in Addie’s life is her, that she’s the one who Addie sees as her primary support. She’s everything to her little girl. It’s something she never had.

“Hey, Addie Grace,” Happy says quietly. “I never had a mom, so nobody ever told me that I would feel like this.” With her free hand, she runs her thumb along Addie’s cheek. “I can’t believe how amazing you are.”

She keeps forgetting that she little girl is the same person who memorized her voice months ago, a little person who is half her and half Toby and all love. As much as Paige had told Happy about how connecting with her daughter would be incredibly important, she doesn’t think she really understood it. Now she does – Addie’s her first priority. Not the only priority, but she’ll always come first.

Addie grabs onto Happy’s finger with a grip she can’t shake.

“That’s my girl,” Happy says quietly. “Strong as hell and too damn adorable for words. You’re going to take over the world someday.”

Addie finishes ten minutes later and Happy gets her shirt back in order, carrying Addie back into the living room while Happy pats her back.

“Burp cloth?” Happy calls to Toby as she walks in.

Without even looking, Toby tosses her one of the bright pink cloths that Cabe had bought them days after announcing they were having a girl. Happy catches it and rests it on her shoulder, just in time for Addie to spit up a tiny bit.

“Damn,” says Cabe. “It took me and Rebecca six months before we were that in sync.”

“We’re just that amazing,” Toby says. “Well, Happy is. I just had to link up with her.” He winks.

“Don’t wink,” Happy says, patting Addie on the back. “It makes you look like a serial killer.”

Toby rolls his eyes. “One apartment and one baby in and she still says things like that to me.”

“You’re right,” Walter says. “The wink doesn’t make you look like a serial killer.”

“Thank you!” Toby says, looking pointedly at Happy.

“It makes you look like a simpleton.”

Happy laughs so hard at the look on Toby’s face that Addie wiggles and cries.

“Oh, shh, calm down baby,” Happy says, patting Addie’s back. “Uncle Walter’s just delivering a third degree burn to Daddy, it’s okay.”

Happy bounces Addie until she settles, and that’s when Happy gets a look at Walter’s face.

He’s smiling in a way Happy’s only seen him look at Ralph.

“You good, boss?” Happy asks.

Walter nods. “I think I enjoy the idea of being an uncle,” he decides. “Could I, perhaps, hold my niece?”

“Yes,” Happy says. “Mainly because you called her your niece.”

~

It’s another five hours, three breast feedings, and one Addie nap before everyone leaves. Happy was exhausted by 4:30, but she pushes through until 6:30 before she shoots Toby the look of “abort mission” and he begins the thank you and goodbyes.

“Call if you need anything, guys,” Paige says after everyone’s left. “Really. I want you to know you’ve got people.”

Happy smiles at her. “We know,” she assures, “but thank you.”

When Paige finally leaves, Happy collapses onto the couch, Addie resting safely against her shoulder. “Okay,” says Happy, yawning. “Maybe having visitors was a bad idea.”

Addie wiggles in her arms, making little noises.

“The kid agrees.” Happy leans down and presses a kiss to Addie’s forehead, trying to teach herself how to do the affectionate mother thing that she never got herself.

Toby leans over and presses a kiss to Happy’s temple. “Come on,” he says quietly. “Let’s get her to sleep.”

“She already is asleep,” Happy replies. She shifted her arms. “See? I could start dancing and I don’t think she’d react.”

“Thank god we got a good sleeper,” Toby says.

“If only I could sleep,” Happy grumbles.

“Oh, you will,” Toby says. “Come on.”

They walk into their bedroom, but instead of resting Addie in her bassinet, Happy sets her down on the bed in between them.

“I just want to snuggle,” Happy explains.

Toby shoots her this giddy smile. “Only a week into motherhood and you admit you like snuggling.”

“I’ve never – not liked it,” Happy says. “Okay, so I didn’t like it when you’d get all handsy in public. That’s different.” She looks at him. “And that hasn’t changed.”

Toby shrugs. “Good deal. But you’re going to be all hardcore mommy in public.”

“Do I even want to know what your definition of ‘hardcore mommy’ is?” Happy asks, watching Addie watch everything in the room.

“You’re always going to be carrying her,” Toby explains. “We have a baby wearing device, but I think you’ll be that mom with a kid on her hip, even at work.”

“You can’t possibly know that,” Happy says, smiling as Addie’s hand grips Happy’s finger tightly and she flaps her arm.

Toby nods at her. “I do. I can tell.”

“And what, you’re going to be softcore daddy?” Happy asks, kissing Addie’s forehead.

“No, I’m just going to constantly wear her,” Toby explains. He puffs his chest out for some reason, looking a little proud of himself. “I like the idea of it. Baby wearing.”

“There is literally no weirder sentence you have ever said,” Happy says. Addie looks up at her, big, beautiful eyes blinking slowly. “Hi, baby,” she says softly. “Hi, beautiful.”

Addie blinks up at her, slowing her movements when her eyes lock on Happy’s face.

“Yeah,” Toby decides. “You’re not ever going to let her go.”

“Nope,” Happy decides. “I guess you’re right. But I decided a long time ago that she’s the future I want for myself,” she leans down and kisses Addie’s forehead. “And none of that has changed.”

Toby’s so quiet, no silly return quip or sappy comment, so Happy turns to him. “Are you okay?”

He nods, looking a little melancholic. “I just – this is going to sound stupid.”

“You’ve never let that stop you before,” Happy jokes, but his face doesn’t crack into a smile, and Happy starts to worry.

“I’m part of your future too, right?” he asks, and the words rush out of him so quickly it’s almost as if he didn’t mean to say them.

Happy’s mouth drops open. “How could you ever think you weren’t?”

Relief spreads over his face, into his eyes to give him that light that Happy so desperately loves. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.” He leans in and kisses her, a slight taste of sadness behind his lips.

“Why did you worry about that?” Happy asks. “No, come on, Toby. That’s a me thing to say.”

He sighs, dropping his head onto his pillow. He links his fingers with Happy’s and rests their hands beneath Addie’s tiny feet, just close enough for him to brush his thumb along her tiny toes. “I guess I got a little scared that you’d decide you didn’t need me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Happy says. “I’m always going to need you. Addie’s always going to need you.” This time it’s her turn to lean in for a kiss. “We’re a family. Paige has already started calling you Dr. Quinn, medicine man.”

Toby smiles. “So we’re the Quinns now, are we?” He pouts. “We could be the Curtis-Quinns. I like how that sounds.”

Happy shrugs, kissing Addie’s cheek. “What do you think, Addie Grace? Are we the Quinns?”

Her eyes close immediately after the question.

“That was a yes,” Happy laughs.

“Inconclusive evidence!” Toby laughs. “That wasn’t a yes or a no.”

Happy leans in and kisses Addie’s cheek. “And on top of us needing you,” Happy says quietly, because she’s not used to going back to hard topics when they’ve already dissipated into the air, “she’s a part of you, just like she’s a part of me. And that makes us permanently connected to each other.” She looks at Toby. “No matter what, you’re a part of me.”

To Happy’s absolute shock, Toby starts tearing up.

“Oh, great, what the fuck did I do now?” she groans.

“That was just really sweet,” Toby says, wiping at his eyes. “No, I’m fine, don’t give me a tissue – oh, fine. Thanks.” He blows his nose. “I just forget sometimes that you love me.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “I literally had your baby,” Happy states. “Not sure how I could show you more emphatically.”

Toby leans over Addie and kisses her gently. “I love you,” he murmurs.

“I love you too,” Happy replies. “Even if you did ask a bunch of stupid questions.”

“There are no stupid questions,” Toby says, resting his head against his pillows. His eyes flutter closed.

“There are only stupid dummy moron jerks,” Happy says back to him.

“You’re the stupid moron dummy jerk,” Toby grumbles, but he holds her hand more tightly as he falls asleep.

Happy takes a few moments to watch her family as they sleep, taking in the calm expressions on their faces.

“You guys are never getting rid of me,” she says, laughing to herself a little bit.


	26. Addie, 3 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic bliss looks a little different when the kid comes home. Still great, but different.

Happy wakes up and, for the first time since before she got pregnant, she feels normal. Not pre-pregnancy normal, but okay.

Things feel right.

She sits up abruptly, looking around. Addie is still a bundle of content, sleeping baby in the bassinet next to the bed, and Toby’s curled up next to Happy. His arm is thrown across part of the bed, and she’s fairly certain it had been resting on her hip while she slept.

She stands quietly, not wanting to wake her family, and finds that the feeling of squishy, unstructured blobbiness ebbing away.

“Maybe I’ll feel human again before my 40th birthday,” she mutters, and it makes her feel a bit better.

She takes the time to shower, because that doesn’t happen anywhere near as often as it should, and then throws her hair into a braid so that Addie won’t yank as much as she usually does. Instead of putting on real clothes, she throws on a pair of sweatpants and one of Toby’s hoodies, having completely given up on the concept of shirts and bras when she’s in the house now that she’s a walking milk machine.

She looks at herself in the mirror. “At least I don’t look dead anymore,” she says, and she’s surprised at her smile.

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” Toby sings, appearing behind her in the mirror.

“You’re tone deaf,” Happy says, smiling at him, “but yes. You have.”

He kisses her. “Good morning.”

“Hi,” Happy says. “How’s Addie?”

“Asleep,” Toby replies. “We got lucky. She actually sleeps.”

“For now,” Happy replies. “And I was up four times, most recently three hours ago because she wanted third dinner at, like, three in the morning, and then first breakfast at five thirty. You get to sleep. I don’t.”

Toby laughs. “And that’s why you’re the better of the two of us.” He turns the water back on. “I’m going to take a shower in the thirty seconds we’re up and she isn’t. Then do you want to have baby time?”

Happy nods. “I’ve got her.”

Toby kisses Happy’s forehead. “And then I’ve got to go to the garage for a few hours.”

“What?” Happy asks. “Why?”

“Walter needs me to analyze somebody’s behavior,” Toby explains. “It’s on recording. I’ll be back soon.”

“No, I mean why do you get to go and I don’t?” Happy grumbles. “I’m bored.”

Toby laughs. “There’s no engineering component,” he explains. “But I’ll be sure to tell Walter to call you next time there’s a job you can be part of.”

“Good,” says Happy, kissing him. She kisses Toby before pushing him toward the shower. “Now bathe. You smell.”

“I do not!” Toby argues.

Happy raises an eyebrow.

“Only a little,” he admits, pouting.

“Go!” she laughs.

She walks out and collapses into bed, just in time for Addie to start fussing.

“Oh, Addie Grace, you’ve got killer timing,” Happy sighs. She rolls over and picks Addie up, and she squirms for a minute, calming when Happy sets her on her chest.

“Kangaroo time, or whatever your dad calls it?” Happy asks. “You’re three weeks old. You can’t understand what I’m saying.”

She unzips her hoodie and rests Addie on her chest. She’s warm and soft as she settles, making content little noises as her hand curls around Happy’s thumb.

“You have so much hair,” Happy says, resting her hand on the back of Addie’s head. “This is ridiculous. Does it fall out? Do you just stay with too much hair forever?” She sighs. “Is it going to turn into mine? Because then I’m going to have to teach you how to manage this mess. Grampy’s hair was curly before he went all bald, and –” Happy pauses. She realizes she doesn’t have a name or a word for Addie to call her mother. “Well, my mom’s hair was straighter, so I ended up with wavy stuff. And your dad has curly hair, so,” Happy runs her fingers through Addie’s hair again. “We’ll see what happens, okay, baby girl?”

Addie’s asleep.

“Oh, okay,” Happy says, laughing lightly. “You get to sleep, but I don’t. I see how this goes.”

It’s not long before Toby comes out of the bathroom, rubbing a towel at his hair. “She out?”

“Yep,” Happy says, running her hand along Addie’s back. She holds up the pink outfit Addie had been wearing before they’d started kangaroo care. “She’s annoyingly cute in this onesie, by the way. You get this one?”

Toby beams, looking absurdly proud of himself. “Yeah,” he says. “Pink onesie with hammer patterns all over it. Pretty proud of myself.”

Happy laughs. “Go have fun at work.”

He leans over and kisses Happy, then Addie. “Love you, my girls.”

“We love you too,” Happy replies. “I say hi to everyone.”

The door closes and the room is quiet enough that Happy thinks she could use this time to get some reading done. After settling Addie in her bassinet, she grabs her newest book and reads, just reads. It’s nice, until Addie wakes herself up, and Happy picks her up to find that her diaper did not do its job.

“Are you serious right now?” Happy says, in complete shock. Addie’s entire onesie is a mess. “No wonder you’re screaming – this would piss me off, too.”

Happy cleans Addie off and changes her diaper, and then feeds her immediately after.

“I can’t believe you’re hungry after all that,” Happy sighs. She settles them on the couch while Addie has her second breakfast. “But thanks for not screaming too loudly, Addie Grace,” Happy says, leaning back on the couch. She throws on an episode of Cake Boss, zoning out until Addie’s full and content. Happy burps the baby, still not certain how to do it correctly, so she just guesses. But Addie lets out a weird noise that could technically be a burp, so Happy’s satisfied. “And how about more kangaroo care?” Happy asks. “Combined with tummy time? Yeah?”

Happy’s fairly certain she’s doing tummy time wrong, because Addie doesn’t yell at all when she’s resting on Happy’s chest. “You’re doing great, kiddo.”

As hard as it is, Happy’s pretty sure she’s keeping it together during these first few weeks of parenting. Then again, she’s talking to an infant. She’s probably lost her mind.

“Maybe you just like me best,” Happy decides. “Yeah? Be Mommy’s girl.” She rests a hand on Addie’s back. “I’d like that.”

Addie’s quiet and content, switching between serene sleep and alert examination of the room, and Happy can’t stop watching her. Years ago, if you’d told her that she’d be a mother and she’d spend hours watching a newborn do absolutely nothing but look at things, Happy would have punched you out. Parenthood was something she’d always wanted to try but never thought she’d be capable of. If she’s honest, there’s a part of her that didn’t think she’d survive to a point where having kids was an actual option. But now, when it’s her baby, when it’s the baby she had with the person she never imagined she would find, it’s different. She can do this, and she loves it.

Every breath Addie takes, every time Happy gets a look at her, it’s like a whole universe opens up that never existed before.

Happy wheels the bassinet close to the couch and sets Addie inside it after she dresses her in the ridiculous “Daddy’s Lil Monster” onesie Toby bought after seeing Suicide Squad, and sets her up in a blanket. Then, Happy promptly falls asleep on the couch.

Toby wakes her up some time later with a kiss to her forehead. “Hey, love.”

“Hi,” Happy mumbles. “What time is it?”

“Two in the afternoon,” he says gently. “I got home early. How’d it go?”

“Addie likes snuggling with me,” Happy says. “And basically she slept or looked around from the time you left. Which is kind of awesome.”

Toby laughs. “Well, she’s still out now. So how are you feeling?”

“What do you mean?”

Toby sits on the couch, picking up Happy’s legs and resting them on his lap. “Any pain? Discomfort? Do you feel like everything’s healing the right way?”

“How would I know?” Happy asks, confused.

“You’d know if something was wrong,” Toby says, smiling at her. “So the fact that you seem okay right now makes me feel better.” He sighs, beaming at her. “God, you’re amazing.”

“Am not,” Happy says. “Women have been doing this for thousands of years.”

“Hey,” Toby points his finger at her. “There’s never been a woman like you.”

“Now that’s a line,” Happy jokes, but Toby leans down and kisses her, a little more heat behind it than there’s been since her eighth month of pregnancy, but right when she’s getting intrigued he pulls away.

“I love you,” he says, and she thinks she sees literal stars in his eyes.

Her first impulse is to say something stupid and snarky back, something brash and silly, but then she remembers she doesn’t have to. They’ve already had a baby together – it’s about time she gives up the façade of being a hardass. “I love you too,” she replies.

Addie wakes up the second Happy speaks.

“Oh, come on,” Toby says, laughing as he grins down at Addie. “Mommy and I were just having a moment.”

He picks Addie up. “Oh,” he says, surprised. “That’s a diaper. Daddy to the rescue!”

Happy watches and laughs as Toby rests her on a burp cloth on a floor.

“Grab me a diaper, Hap?” he asks. Happy leans over the side of the couch to their little basket that used to house extra books but now houses baby stuff. She tosses a diaper at Toby, and it hits Addie on the leg.

“Oh, fuck!” Happy exclaims, scrambling as fast as she can over to Addie. She’s wiggling a little, but isn’t reacting negatively to the surprise. “Is she okay?”

“It’s a diaper, Happy,” Toby laughs. “She’s fine. Plus, at this age, if anything really scared her she’d just cry.”

Happy exhales. “Okay. Good. It’d be really embarrassing to admit that our kid’s first injury was me, with a diaper, at three weeks old.”

“Is that a new version of Clue?” Toby asks.

Happy hits him in the arm with the diaper.

Toby fixes up her new diaper and puts on her onesie. “Hey, tummy time?” he asks Addie in a voice far too excited for the event. “Baby girl, let’s do tummy time!”

“We already did a little today,” Happy says. “Do we need to do it again?”

Toby nods. “A play mat on the floor requires more muscle engagement.”

Happy sighs and looks over at Addie. “I was on your side for this, kid.”

Three seconds in and Addie is already whining.

“She hates tummy time on this dumb play mat thing,” Happy says, resting her head on Addie’s play mat as the baby wails on her stomach. “What’s the point of this?”

“To build her muscles so she can start crawling and walking,” Toby says. He gets down on the mat next to Happy. “Wow, she’s pissed.”

“Seriously,” Happy agrees. “The only time she’s wailed like this is when she scared herself awake last week.”

Toby props his head up on his hands. “She looks like you when she’s angry,” he decides. “Usually looks like me, but right now,” he nods to her. “Looks like you.”

Happy tries to kick him, but he catches her leg and gently sets it on the ground.

“No kicking,” he says. “Bad example for the kid.”

Happy rolls her eyes, but lets Toby kiss her temple. “How long do we do this for?” Happy asks. “She’s only three weeks old - there’s no way we need to do this for too long.”

“Five minutes,” says Toby. “Then we can save her from this torture.” Toby looks at their little girl again. “Even screaming, she’s damn cute.”

“That’s because,” Happy yawns, “she looks like me.” She turns to Toby. “I’m taking another nap.” She shifts. “Right here. I’m sleeping right here.”

“Good idea,” says Toby, grabbing an extra blanket and throwing it over Happy’s shoulders, “I’ll keep an eye on my girls.”

As Happy closes her eyes, she hears Toby talking to the baby. It’s a story about them, some job they did before Paige, and it pulls her into dream land. Before she drifts off, though, she feels Toby press a kiss to her forehead.

She wakes up an hour or so later to see Toby next to her, talking to Addie like she’s an adult. Addie’s resting on her back on top of a burp cloth, clearly asleep but content.

“And when you’re in medical school or engineering school or dance school, whatever it is, go to class. That way you don’t have to read the terrible text books. And learn how to doodle so you can take notes with pictures instead of just words. Okay, baby girl?” Toby leans forward and kisses her forehead so gently that Happy feels her heart flutter. “I couldn’t love you more.”

“You used to say that to me,” Happy jokes, stretching out.

“Yeah, well, you’re cute, but she,” Toby kisses Addie’s nose, “is both tiny and cute.”

“You’ve got that right.” Her body still hurts a little bit, but she manages to roll herself to the other side of Addie. “Look at her,” she says quietly. “We had a baby.”

“You had a baby,” Toby corrects. “Because you’re a superhero.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” Happy asks, not sure if she should laugh or not.

Toby shrugs. “Because you’re more than just a normal person. You’re a superhero.”

Happy scoffs. “And you’re thinking of me that time in the superhero costume.”

Toby laughs and drops his head on the baby mat. “Not until you said that,” he groans. “But, oh man. You don’t still have that, do you?”

“Not sure I’d look as good,” Happy replies.

He lifts his head. “So you do have it?”

Happy shrugs. “Maybe.”

His eyes widen comically. “Can you – at some time…” He trails off, eyes clearly seeing something else.

“Yeah,” says Happy, “like I’ll fit into any of my old clothes for a while now.”

Toby stares at her. “You will,” he says, “and even if you don’t, you look amazing.”

Happy tries to find something to say, but instead she just smiles at him.

“I love you,” Toby says quietly. “So much.”

They watch Addie sleep peacefully for a few minutes, and Happy stands.

“Going somewhere?” Toby asks, grinning.

“Haven’t eaten in a million years,” Happy replies. “I need food.”

“You sit down,” Toby says. “I’ll make grilled cheese.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Are you going to set the kitchen on fire again?”

Toby looks offended as he gently picks Addie up and rests her against his shoulder, one hand protectively on her head. “It was only a paper towel, and you know it.”

“As long as I get the baby, you can get lunch,” Happy concedes. Toby settles Addie into Happy’s arms, and Happy still can’t believe how easily and perfectly Addie fits in with her.

“This is Dad’s job,” Toby says, pointing to the couch. “You sit. Chill out. Do nothing.”

“Do nothing?” Happy asks. “I don’t think I could ever do nothing.”

“Okay, touché,” Toby accepts. “But do nothing strenuous. I’m going to make you the cheesiest grilled cheese the world has ever seen.”

“Well, you are good at being cheesy,” Happy replies.

Toby shrugs. “I’m a dad now. I have to make dad jokes exclusively.”

“That,” Happy says, “that is not correct. You don’t have to make dad jokes.”

He grins. “Yeah, I do. It’s part of the dad manual. Sorry, Hap.”

Happy groans. “We’re in for a lifetime of bad jokes, Addie Grace,” Happy says, kissing Addie’s cheek.

Happy picked Addie up and rests her on her torso, letting Addie relax on top of her instead of on the play mat. She can’t handle watching Addie so miserable on her belly.

“Hi, Addie Grace,” Happy says, resting her hand on Addie’s back. “You’re so strong. I’m impressed.” She leans forward, kissing the top of her head. “It’s a good thing you’re this cute.”

Addie, apparently, is comfortable and pleased with her situation, and doesn’t fuss in the slightest as she looks up at Happy. Addie’s hands pushing at Happy’s boobs, though. That’s a little uncomfortable. But Happy will deal – she’s nearly drowned and nearly frozen to death. An infant’s boob punch is something she can handle.

That’s when she smells something burning.

“Then man can make a three course meal with a complicated pasta dish and crème brulee, but he messes up grilled cheese,” Happy grumbles, sitting up with a hand behind Addie’s back and another one on her head. “Let’s hope he ups his game with parenting.”

“My parenting game is on fleek!” Toby shouts back.

“Of all the people in the world,” Happy says, walking into the kitchen, “you are without a doubt not allowed to say ‘on fleek.’”

“I have to be hip with the lingo!” Toby replies, sliding an only partially burnt sandwich onto a plate. “Got to be a cool dad.”

“Just uttering the phrase ‘cool dad’ makes you painfully uncool,” Happy says pointedly. Addie snuffles. “Your daughter agrees with me.”

“Okay,” Toby says. “But what if I called you a MILF?”

Happy stares at him. “Excuse me?”

“A MILF,” he clarifies, and if his eyes were on her instead of on the sandwich he’s cooking, he’d know to shut up, “a mom I’d like to fuck.”

Happy literally kicks him in the ass. “You’re a perv.”

“Am not!” Toby exclaims. “You’re the incredibly hot, unbearably brilliant mother of my child. You’re a mom I’d like to fuck.”

“I better be the only mom you’d like to fuck,” Happy says dangerously.

“You are,” Toby replies.

“You’re an idiot,” Happy counters.

“Would you rather I say you’re a mom I’d like to make passionate love to until the world dissolves around us?” His tone is low, and she realizes he’s being serious.

“Toby, I literally just had a baby,” Happy deadpans. “Keep it in your pants.”

“I didn’t mean now!” he defends, and she realizes he really didn’t. He pouts, those stupid big eyes of his looking all puppy dog. “Just reminding you how amazing you are.”

“You really are, aren’t you,” Happy says. “Want to prove how much you love me?”

“Always,” Toby says.

Happy shifts Addie into his arms. “She needs a diaper change,” Happy says with a smile.

Toby nods, and Happy doesn’t stop being astonished at just how much he doesn’t complain about changing nearly every diaper. “We will be right back. Also –”

“Yes, I’ll keep an eye on your grilled cheese,” Happy says with an eye roll.

She’s sliding his sandwich onto a plate before it hits her. This is how a normal family functions. Lunch just after noon, enjoying each other’s company without any chaos or disasters.

She likes it. She’ll never say no to the chaos that is being part of the Cyclone, but she likes this feeling that her family is a family. That Addie is going to have a childhood she can look back on with fondness.

It’s the hormonal changes, Toby’s assured her, but Happy tears up for the third time that week.

“Whoa, Mama,” Toby says, walking up to Happy. Addie is safely nestled in his arm as he checks in with Happy. “Everything okay? Why are we crying?”

Happy shakes her head, trying to wave it off. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something,” Toby replies, smiling at her. “But – am I correct in guessing happy tears?”

Happy nods. “Sometimes I forget how lucky we are to have each other.” She looks down at Addie. “To have her.”

Toby leans in and kisses Happy, gently and softly. It’s a kiss she’s memorized by now. It’s his hello kiss, it’s his goodbye kiss, it’s the kiss they share when one of them is so goddamn tired that a nap is inevitable and words are too much energy. It’s a kiss Happy never thought she would fall in love with, but she has.

She’s in love with everything they’ve built.

“Hey, Toby?” Happy says. Toby’s in the middle of shoving his grilled cheese in his mouth.

He makes a blurry noise that could be, “Yeah?”

“We fucking rock.”

Toby laughs, nodding as he finishes his bite. “We really do.”

The rest of the day is lazy, mostly consisting of the three of them sleeping or eating.

Happy’s managed two hours of sleep, after falling into bed at 8:30 with Addie in her bassinet and Toby flipping through the channels, when Addie starts shrieking.

“Your turn,” Happy mumbles.

“Okay,” Toby says. He starts wailing.

Happy laughs, reaching out and smacking him on the side. “Fuck off and go get the baby.”

“Yes, dear,” he says. And he kisses her in their way again.

Happy falls back asleep to the sounds of Toby rocking Addie, feeding her a bottle, and singing her the dulcet tones of Dude Looks Like a Lady.


	27. Addie, 6 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've been parents for six weeks, but it's been even longer since they've had alone time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This chapter has some mild sexual content.
> 
> In addition, this fic is in canon with the show up to episode 2x21 "Twist and Shout" and then falls out of canon once the proposal plotline starts up. In the canon of this fic, Happy was never secretly married.

“Toby!” Happy says, rushing into the bathroom, Addie safely resting against her shoulder. "Toby, come here for a second."

“What?!” Toby exclaims. He rips open the shower curtain. “Everything okay?”

"Yeah, everything's fine," Happy waves off. "It's a good thing. She smiled at me!” Happy grins at Toby. “An actual smile – I think she did it on purpose!”

“Really?” Toby exclaims. “No way.” He looks down at Addie. “Hey, baby girl!”

Addie does not respond other than looking at him with an expression that looks mildly smug.

“No, I swear,” Happy says. “Watch how I do it.” She leans in close, puts on a big grin, and says, “Hi, Addie Grace! I love you!”

There’s the smile again.

“What about for Daddy?” Toby asks. “Big smile for Dad?”

Nothing.

“She likes you best,” Toby says, sighing. “Then again, this is a little early developmentally. Maybe it’s still gas.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Don’t be a jackass. She’s smiling at me.”

“I know she is,” Toby says, sneaking in a kiss. “Because she loves you nearly as much as I love you.”

Happy smiles back at him. “This is early?” she asks. “For her to smile?”

Toby nods. “On the early end of average,” Toby explains. “She’s just awesome, aren’t you, sweetie?”

He kisses the top of Addie’s head, but the water from his hair dips onto her face.

Addie makes a noise half between a sob and a scream.

“Oh, chill,” Happy says with a sigh, gently mopping off the water from her forehead with her sleeve. “You’re okay, sweetheart.”

“So I can get back in the shower?” Toby asks. “Because this may not be Antarctica, but it’s still kind of freezing in the bathroom.”

Happy looks down at him. “I mean,” she says, trying to keep a straight face, “it’s not too cold.”

“You’re an asshole,” Toby says, laughing.

Happy shrugs. “I’m an asshole who had your baby,” she shoots back. “So, really, what am I?”

“A superhero,” Toby replies. He kisses her quickly, then darts back into the shower.

Addie starts to make her hungry noises, so Happy sets herself up in bed with an episode of some car show she’s never heard of, a pillow, and Addie.

“Alright,” Happy says. “Time for breakfast.”

Addie’s started feeding for longer, like she’s hellbent on gaining all the weight she possibly can. She’s ten and a half pounds at this point, and Happy’s starting to lose the concept of just how little she was when she was born.

Toby walks in, jeans slung low on his waist. “Hey, you seen my shirt?”

“Which one?” Happy asks. “The one I’m wearing, or the ones in the laundry?” She nods to the two piles of clothing on the floor - one clean, and one dirty, but Happy's not 100% certain which one is which.

Toby sighs. “We really need to be better at doing laundry.”

“Correct,” Happy says. “But I’m the one who can’t move because my boob is otherwise occupied.”

“Duly noted,” Toby says. He sits on the side of the bed. “Kid, you’re cramping our style.”

Happy sighs. “We’ll get the hang of it soon. I mean, there’s only three of us.”

“And yet this,” Toby gestures to the disaster that their bedroom has become, “has still managed to happen.”

Happy shrugs. “Mind throwing a load of laundry in?”

Toby leaps up. “As you wish, my love.”

“You really need to stop watching Princess Bride every other day,” Happy says. “You’re going to start sounding like Fezzik.”

“Anybody want a peanut?” Toby says with a grin.

Happy grabs a pair of pants from the floor and whips him in the butt with them. “Go do laundry, you nerd,” she laughs.

Addie finishes her breakfast just as Toby returns from laundry duty.

“So, I forgot,” he says. “But the laundry room is cold as hell.”

“You need to start wearing shirts,” Happy muses.

“They’re all in the laundry or you’ve stolen them,” Toby replies. He slides into bed, kissing Happy’s shoulder.

“But your clothes work better for right now,” Happy replies. “Because, you know.” She points to Addie, who is sitting up and mid-burping. “Baby.”

“Let me take care of her,” Toby says. “I’ll burp her, you go to sleep, okay?”

Happy yawns. “Maybe,” she says. Toby raises an eyebrow. “Okay, a nap would be nice.”

Happy hands Addie to Toby, and promptly falls asleep, her head pillowed on his thigh.

She wakes up a few hours later with a blanket over her, and Toby’s hand running along her arm. She feels warm and content, until Addie starts whining.

“That’s why I woke up,” Happy mumbles, sitting up. “Hey, baby girl. Hungry again?”

“Yeah, Mommy!” Toby says in that silly high pitched voice. “This kid needs her protein shake.”

Happy grins at him as she takes Addie, and Happy’s still impressed with how little time it takes Addie to latch. Happy’s pretty sure they’ll never have to worry about her eating.

"Hey, guess what," Toby says, looking excited. "New episodes of Cupcake Wars."

"I hate how interesting that show is," Happy mumbles, leaning against Toby's shoulder. She's still in the haze of her nap. "They're baking cake. It shouldn't be that interesting." She frowns. "We're excited for a Netflix show." Happy looks up at Toby. "Dude, we need to get a life."

Toby nods. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to mention that,” he says. “I kind of miss work, Happy.”

“Me too,” Happy says lightly. “It’s weird not going on cases with the team, even though we’re updated and Skyped in whenever there’s a problem.” She rests her hand on Addie’s and Addie wraps her fingers around Happy’s thumb. “It’s been six easy weeks, at least. But we've Skyped into the garage only seven times, and you’ve been, what, three times?”

Toby nods. “Makes me wonder if they’re not calling us even if they might need us.” He falls quiet. “I wish we could have her and work.”

Happy looks at him. “You think Walter would let us bring her?”

“What?” Toby asks.

“Addie,” Happy explains. “Do you think Walter would be okay with us bringing her to the garage?”

Toby considers it for a moment. “You know, I’m not sure.”

Happy rocks Addie gently, smiling down at her. “I think we could pull it off,” she muses. “Have Addie with us all the time. If there’s a case where someone needs to stay behind to watch the tech, one of us can do it, or Paige can stay home to watch Addie and man the home base.”

“Or we can always call your dad,” Toby adds. “I mean, he did tell us to call whenever we needed him.”

“What do you think, Addie Grace?” Happy says to the little infant in her arms, her tiny daughter who is apparently finished eating and is drifting back off to sleep, like a miracle. Happy picks her up and burps her, just before Addie’s out for good. “Would you like to be part of the Cyclone?”

“Yes, Mommy,” Toby says in a high pitched, ridiculous voice. “I’d love to hang out with all your brilliant friends who are socially stunted. That way we can teach them how to be adults!”

“If our infant is the one teaching them how to be adults,” Happy laughs.

“Hey, you’re the one who once got drunk and tried to build a ukulele out of old bungee cords and a car tire,” Toby says pointedly. “And that’s not even the dumbest thing any of us have ever done.”

Happy frowns. “How exactly did idiots like us get authorized to have a baby?” she asks warily.

“Nobody authorized us,” Toby says, leaning in and kissing Happy, just enough to distract her, and for the first time since Addie was born Happy starts feeling like she could go for more than just a kiss. “We just had too much fun and boom,” he looks down, “baby.”

“Boom, baby is right,” Happy says. She smiles down at Addie, who has drifted off to sleep. “Hey, after I put her in her crib, wanna make out?”

Toby blinks. “Excuse me?”

Happy shrugs. “I mean, I’m not supposed to do anything too fun,” she says, smiling. “But I figured we could do a little prelude.”

Toby just sort of stares at her. “I’m sorry,” he says, looking dumbfounded, “I’m still getting over the fact that you asked me to make out with you like a high school freshman at a spring dance.”

Happy shoves at him with the arm not holding Addie. “Don’t be a jackass.”

“I’d love to make out with you!” Toby exclaims, lounging back on their bed as Happy walks out of the room. His voice raises in volume, just enough so she can hear him as she puts Addie in her crib. “Right after I have English class. Should we go behind the bleachers?”

“You never made out with anyone behind the bleaches,” Happy says, rolling her eyes. She checks to make sure Addie’s safe and sound, and kisses her forehead as she settles her in the bed. Then she returns to their bedroom, flops down on the bed, and props herself up on Toby’s chest.

“I did!” he argues. He deflates. “Okay, fine. I didn’t.”

“I did,” Happy says, smirking. “The guy who I got my GED with and I, before we dropped out.” She winks at him. “Did more than that in the shed where they kept the lawn mowers, though.”

“God, you’re such a bad girl,” Toby says, and he actually looks turned on by this.

“You’re such a nerd,” Happy says. But even so, she leans in and kisses him, pulling him as she rolls to the side until he takes the hint and rests on top of her. She sighs against his mouth, because they haven’t done this in weeks, haven’t had the time or the energy for each other. She knows it’s not going much farther than this, that she’ll likely fall asleep in a couple minutes and, beside that, she just had a baby six friggin weeks ago. But she misses this. She misses the way they used to be all about each other. Things are different – she’s got a belly still, something she’s absolutely never had in her life prior to pregnancy, she’s tired, and there’s a mild concern with her breasts being, well, huge. But Toby’s still kissing her with that hunger and she’s kissing back as good as she’s getting. Things are different, but Happy’s glad to know that Toby’s still in love with her.

He rests his forehead against hers, his hands trailing up and down her arms. “God, I love you,” he sighs, looking stupidly honest and too charming for such a nerd face. “I love you so much.”

“Enough to play Truly Madly Deeply outside my window on a boom box?” Happy asks, grinning at him.

He laughs, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. “Jerk.”

“I’m not the nerd playing Savage Garden,” Happy teases.

“Yeah, you probably did it to You Shook Me All Night Long.”

“Highway to Hell,” Happy corrects, running her fingers through his hair. “But good guess.”

“You’re shitting me,” Toby says, looking astonished.

She shakes her head. “And Pour Some Sugar On Me,” she replies. “But that was with Emma in my early twenties when we were being delinquent runaways.”

Toby sighs. “We literally have a child together and there’s still so much I don’t know about you.” He kisses her forehead. “I love you.”

“You said that already,” Happy says.

Toby rolls to the side and pulls her close, his arms feeling strong and solid around her shoulders. “I try to say it as much as I think it, but I’m not sure there are enough hours in the day.”

Happy groans and laughs, pressing her face into his chest. “Jesus Christ,” she says, “could you get any cheesier?”

“I mean, probably,” he says. “I could recite to you all the times I’ve realized I love you.”

“Yeah, that wasn’t a challenge –”

“I think the first time I realized I loved you,” Toby says, and Happy throws a leg over his thighs to hold him close, “was when you and I woke up after the night Amy ended it. Remember that?”

“We were both wasted,” Happy says, and she’s surprised at the reverent smile she hears in her voice, “but yeah. I remember all of it.” She looks at him. “You knew that early?”

“I had feelings for you ages before that,” he admits, “when I was with Amy, I mean. And I think I tried to ignore them because you were my best friend and I was getting married, but then when she was gone I think I just – I opened my eyes.”

“You can be a little blind,” Happy says, resting her hand on his chest.

“Or I could tell you about the moment I knew you were my forever,” he says.

“Antarctica?” she asks, because, and she doesn’t know how to say this with words, but that’s when she realized her feelings for Toby might be enough to push her out of her defenses, that they might be worth a chance.

Toby shakes his head. “The day you pulled Walter out of the rabbit hole.”

Happy sits up. “That was, like, four years ago,” she says, bewildered.

Toby shrugs. “And?”

“You knew four years ago that this,” she gestures to the home they share, to the clothes she steals, to the bed they sleep in, to the room where sleeps daughter they care for, “was all going to happen?”

“I didn’t know it,” Toby corrects. “Especially not Addie. Addie was definitely not predicted.” He shrugs. “But I’d hoped.”

Happy doesn’t know what to say, so she leans in and kisses him, trying to tell him what’s going through her mind without actually saying anything. She’s never had faith in anything like she has faith in what they have. She’s never held onto someone, to something, like she’s held onto the way their family fills her heart. And none of this would have been possible without his faith in her, the fact that he wasn’t going to let her be alone even when she was awful and cruel and exhausting, when she built up walls with the intention of never pulling them down.

His hands are gentle but solid on her back, fingers trailing along her skin like he’s trying to memorize the feel of her body, and Happy’s half desperate to tear his clothes off and go for it right here, say screw the plans and the rules. She doesn’t know when she started wanting him – it wasn’t as clear to her as it was to him – but it’s been so long since they’ve been close like that, since she got to really feel him. And it’s burning her up. She knows that she can’t do anything anywhere near what she wants, but she’ll take what she can get right now, especially since Addie’s asleep.

She pulls away, resting her forehead against Toby’s. “So that whole no sex thing until the six week check up is for a reason, right?”

Toby laughs, running his fingers through her hair. “And here I was, half convinced we’d have to wait until Addie was sleeping through the night before you had any interest in me again.”

“I’m delirious from sleep deprivation,” Happy shoots back. “An orgasm would knock me out.” And maybe it is just the hormones and the general impatience Happy usually has when it comes to Toby, but she does want this, want him. Even though she knows it’s probably too soon.

Toby raises an eyebrow. “You know, there’s a way for me to do that without the sex you’re not supposed to have yet,” he says. “I mean, if you want.”

“I know,” Happy says. “I just don’t want to –” And she doesn’t know how to finish the sentence, because she doesn’t know what to say. She knows what Toby’s mouth can do. But maybe she’s just a little scared she’s not going to get there anymore, or that it’ll be more uncomfortable than fun, or that Toby won’t want to now that she’s had a kid.

“Okay,” he says, kissing her lightly. “If you want, we can just –”

“No, I changed my mind,” Happy says, because now hot and bothered isn’t the word for it, and when if not now? Also, she knows that if there was anything medically problematic about this, Toby would go into the details and would bore her to sleep. And he'll take care of her. She knows he'll take care of her.

“So yes?” Toby asks, and, good lord, he always looks so goddamn excited when he’s about to go down on her, something that absolutely thrills her every time.

She nods. “No noise from the baby monitor.” She exhales, because, god, it’s been a long time, and Toby’s kissing her, heated and deep, and she moans into his mouth.

“So yes?” Toby asks.

“Oh, my god, yes,” Happy says, and the anticipation is starting to kill her. “Come on, Toby.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” and, god, that stupid smug smirk is the worst.

“I haven’t gotten off since I was eight months pregnant and I nearly fell asleep that time,” Happy says. “If you’re trying to build the anticipation, you don’t need to.” She taps at his shoulder. “You can get to work now.”

He laughs, kissing her neck. “Tell me how you really feel, Happy.”

He kisses her again, tongue teasing just what he wants to do to her, and all previous hesitations and concerns fade away as he kisses his way down her body.

It doesn’t take too long, to her surprise. He’s gentle, and so cautious, and it’s enough to drive her mad. She’s grasping at sheets, sighing his name, and she’s arching off the bed within fifteen minutes. It takes longer than it had in the past, but it's just as good. If it were anything else, his cocky attitude about how good he is at getting her off with his mouth would annoy her. But she’s the one who benefits (and goddamn does she benefit), so she lets it slide.

His lips press gently against her thighs, little touching reminders that he’s there, and it takes a few minutes for her to come down from it. She’d practically forgotten how good this could feel, but she’s glad for the reminder.

“Good to know you’re still good at that,” she jokes, breathless.

“Hey, anything for you,” he says. “Any time. You say the word.”

Happy hums in agreement, but the combination of exhaustion and pleased bliss begins to weigh on her.

“Hey, Hap?” Toby says, and there’s a little concern on his face.

“Mhm?” she replies, her eyes closed.

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he says, “but you leaked breast milk. Through your shirt.”

Happy opens her eyes and, yep. That happened.

“Well that’s unfortunate,” she says.

“It happens,” Toby says. “Oxytocin is released during orgasm, and it’s also released when giving birth and when breast feeding.” He pulls a clean shirt from his drawers. “Here.”

Happy pulls off the damp shirt and pulls on the new one, just in time for Addie’s little cries to come from her bedroom.

“You totally knew I was about to go to sleep,” Happy groans, pushing herself to sitting. “Where’d you throw my pants?”

“No idea,” Toby says. “But pants are over rated.”

“True, but it’s the tail end of November and we still haven’t turned our heat on,” Happy says, grabbing a pair of sweatpants she thinks are probably clean. “And my butt is getting cold.”

Toby shrugs. “Then we’ll hang out in here and have a bunch of blankets.” His eyes light up. “Baby’s first blanket fort?”

Happy yawns. “She’s not going to understand it.”

“So?” Toby replies. “She can still enjoy it in a no-object-permanence sort of way.”

“You’re weird,” Happy says, but she tosses Toby a couple extra blankets from the hallway closet as she walks to Addie’s room.

“Hey, kiddo,” Happy says, picking Addie up and resting her against the crook of her elbow. “Thanks for letting us have Mom and Dad time. No thanks to making it so I can’t sleep, though. That was kind of mean.”

Addie makes a squeaking noise that sounds mildly annoyed.

“Okay, fine,” Happy says. “Let’s get you a new diaper.” She walks back into her bedroom to see Toby under a tangle of blankets. She looks down at Addie. “Your dad’s an idiot.”

“Her dad’s a genius!” Toby argues. “Just give me, like, ten seconds to figure out how to prop this up.”

Happy sighs and sits on her side of the bed, grabbing a burp cloth and changing Addie while watching the hilarious attempts of Toby the architect.

“If this is what genius is," Happy says, cradling Addie in her arms and setting herself up to watch the show, "then I'm scared to see what a fool looks like."

“Don’t be an asshole,” Toby laughs. “I’m doing my best.”

Happy grins, rocking Addie gently. “And it’s admirable, if completely pathetic.”

“Your mom is mean!” Toby says to Addie. Seconds later the unsteady structure collapses on his head. “Okay. Maybe blanket forts should be saved for when she can crawl out of them when they fall apart.”

“Agreed,” Happy laughs. But Toby tosses half the blankets on her lap and half on his, and pulls her close. It’s a strange new piece of their connection, Addie’s constant presence, but if there was a way to pull them closer, this was it.

“Blanket forts are going to be awesome,” Happy says quietly, resting against Toby’s chest. He rests his hands on her arms, holding her close. “When she’s older, I mean.”

“Everything’s going to be awesome with her,” Toby corrects. It’s cheesy, it’s sappy, but, Happy thinks, Toby might just be right.


	28. Addie, 9 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby was right: Happy is hardcore mommy.

The whole family has started getting into a pattern. Addie sleeps through most of the night, except for half-drowsy feeding that Happy’s half asleep for, Toby takes care of the diaper in the morning, and all three of them are usually awake by seven, whether they like it or not. Happy’s beginning to think that normalcy is on its way.

Unfortunately, though, in all the craziness in the weeks since her due date, some things they’ve always been able to handle as normal have been completely neglected.

Work had been easy that day – a couple of in-garage supports for some tech firm that Walter had made contacts with, and Addie had come along. With a baby and nothing pressing left to do, Walter had told them all they could go home early.

Happy’s plan was to go home and have dinner. Happy’s plan was shot in the foot the minute she pulled open the refrigerator. “Did we seriously eat everything Paige brought us last week?” Happy asks. “There’s no way.”

Toby walks in, Addie in his arms. She’s sucking on his knuckle, looking content.

“Shouldn’t we be giving her a pacifier for that?” Happy asks, leaning against the fridge door. “I mean, for sanitary reasons.”

“My hands are washed,” Toby replies. “And, not really. Whatever keeps her content and happy is going to work.”

Happy yawns as she nods. “I’m going to say it again, we’re out of food.”

“I know,” Toby says, looking disappointed. “Even my backup boxes of Lucky Charms are gone.”

Happy considers it. “Think I could handle going out and about without you, baby girl?”

Toby lights up. “Mommy’s going to give us daddy/daughter time?” he asks Addie.

Happy nods. “I mean, if I’m going to be leaving her to go to work on cases, I need to get used to it, right?” She hates the idea. It makes her feel a little queasy, leaving Addie behind. Rationally, however, she knows it needs to happen. She’s not going to be able to be hardcore mommy for all of Addie’s life.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Toby replies. “It won’t be easy, I’m just warning you. We’ll always just be a phone call away.”

“I’ll be gone for less than three hours, not three months,” Happy says. “I’m going to go put something on so I look like a human, and then I’ll head out.” She pauses. “And I’ll probably pump, too.”

Toby nods. “Dad’s got this afternoon.” He leans in and kisses Addie on the forehead. “Dad’s going to teach Addie girl about 90’s grunge.”

“Just don’t play that one Nirvana song,” Happy urges. “Smells Like Teen Spirit and Come As You Are are fine.”

Toby nods. “Duly noted. Pearl Jam? Hole?”

“Go ahead,” Happy replies, trying not to make fun of him.

“In another genre, what about Garbage?”

Happy checks in the trash can. “Um, it’s fine?”

“The band,” Toby clarifies.

“Oh,” Happy replies. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Toby looks unreasonably excited. “This is going to be the best day ever.”

It’s another hour before Happy’s ready and settling Addie’s bottles in the refrigerator. She’s trying not to feel too anxious about leaving Addie behind, which is one of the strangest feelings she’s ever had. Happy spent so much of her life alone, depending on no one with no one who cared about her. Now she has a tiny human who depends on her, and it feels a million different kinds of miserable to leave Addie home and not bring her with.

“Hold up, Hap,” Toby says, and he adjusts her jacket. “Sorry, it kind of was tucked into your underwear.” His smile is adorable as he cradles Addie on one hand and fixes Happy’s shirt. “Figured that wasn’t something you would want people to be seeing.”

Happy smiles at him. “Thanks,” she replies. “There are two bottles in the fridge, and I should be back before five-thirty,” Happy adds. “But if she –”

“Happy,” says Toby, propping Addie up. She’s smiling. “I’ve got it. You don’t need to worry.”

“I do worry,” she argues. “First time out of the house without her, so sue me.”

“I’d just be suing myself,” Toby says, winking.

“That was my joke,” she argues. She leans in and kisses the top of Addie’s head. “Love you, Addie Grace.”

“Love you too, Mommy,” Toby says in a squeaky voice.

Happy groans and laughs as she walks away, but she’s stopped when Toby grabs her hand and says, “Wait.”

She’s about to ask what’s wrong when he pulls her in and kisses her hard enough to make her head spin.

“What was that for?” she asks, feeling her face heat up.

Toby grins at her. “Just reminding you to come back soon.”

“Of course I will,” Happy replies.

Addie coos at her, smiling when Happy tickles her tummy.

“You’re too adorable for your own good,” Happy says, bopping Addie on the nose. “I’ve got to leave now. Stop being so cute.”

Addie blows a raspberry.

“You’re making this very difficult,” Happy chastens.

She sneaks in another kiss to Addie’s forehead and Toby’s lips, because she can, and then heads out before she can think about staying in the house.

“This is a good thing,” she convinces herself as she slides into the front seat of their dumb little soccer mom car. “Need some time alone. Addie and Toby need some bonding time.” She exhales. “This feels fucking weird.”

She’s never been one to talk this much, let alone to herself, but after talking to Addie when pregnant, she’s gotten used to speaking without a response. However, now, when she’s not pregnant anymore, it feels really strange. As much as she didn’t like being pregnant for a multitude of reasons, she had gotten used to it by month eight. And then she had to readjust all over again.

She starts with the grocery store, grabs an absurd amount of diapers and accidentally on purpose picks up two boxes of cookies she and Toby have gotten obsessed with, and hits the check out line within half an hour of arriving. The cart is loaded with everything she could think of that they eat, but she’s well aware that Toby’s better at the whole grocery shopping thing. She’ll probably get home and realize she forgot something basic.

Standing in the check out line, Happy briefly thinks that grocery shopping went faster than she remembers. And then she thinks that it went faster than any outing has gone since before Addie was born, and she suddenly realizes Addie isn’t anywhere near her. It’s a split second of absolute terror before she remembers that, duh, Addie is at home with her dad and Happy is out on her own to get some Mommy cool off time.

“Oh, this parenting thing sucks,” she mumbles, resting her head on the grocery cart.

“New mom?” asks the woman in front of her. She’s a little older than Happy, but there’s a preschooler sitting in the cart, looking at a book upside down.

Happy nods. “First time out in the real world without her,” she admits.

The other woman looks at her son with a smitten expression Happy knows she wears whenever Addie is in the room. “Never gets easier,” she says. “But when they get older, you can hand them a book and they entertain themselves.”

Happy nods. “Mine’s only two months,” she replies, and she’s surprised she’s able to share the information so easily. It must be the sleep deprivation and exhaustion. As nice as it is that Addie is sleeping on a schedule, Happy hasn’t had eight hours of sleep in what feels like years. Happy’s surprised she’s even standing.

“Enjoy that,” the woman says seriously. Happy’s confusion must have shown on her face, because she adds, “Not the sleep deprivation. But the time when your little one is ready to cuddle and is small enough to curl up in your arm.” She looks at her son. “They grow up fast.”

Happy nods. “You’ve got that right.”

Her next job is stopping at their favorite Thai restaurant for dinner and picking up some shampoo and a couple prescriptions from the pharmacy, and somehow before she gets home it’s been two hours and being away from Addie starts to feel actually painful.

Literally painful – she can tell her boobs are really going to start hurting if Addie doesn’t have dinner soon.

Happy gets home a little after five thirty and hauls everything she bought that day into the apartment in one run other than the diapers, because that needs to wait until later.

Happy walks into the apartment silently, because it’s later than she wanted to be home and the last thing she wants is to wake Addie up if she’s fallen asleep.

She sets the groceries down on the kitchen counter and walks into the living room to see Toby in a pair of sweatpants half asleep on the couch, with Addie resting on his chest in a diaper and nothing else. His hand rests protectively on Addie’s back.

It’s warm in their apartment, but Happy grabs Addie’s purple blanket and drapes it over the two of them.

Toby stirs slightly, opening his eyes.

“Hey, Hap,” he says, that smile so elated as he sees her that it makes her heart leap pleasantly. “What time is it?”

“Five thirty,” Happy replies. “You guys been asleep for long?”

Toby shakes his head as Addie makes some little noises and almost scootches up his chest. “Nope. Just having some kangaroo care. Getting in my Daddy snuggle time.” He looks at Addie with something so open and vulnerable that Happy can’t keep herself from leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead, like he always does to her.

“Somebody missed us,” Toby singsongs.

“Of course I did,” Happy says. “Now scoot over. I want in on this.”

“Better idea,” Toby says. He shifts Addie so that she’s resting in the crook of his elbow, and opens his arms. “Consider me your couch.”

“Sounds good to me.” Happy throws her jacket somewhere and settles on top of Toby, and he moves Addie so she’s right next to Happy’s face.

“Hey, Addie Grace,” Happy murmurs. “You have a good day with your Daddy?”

“Yes I did,” Toby says in a ridiculous voice. “Daddy and I practiced tummy time, I spit up on him twice – all down his shirt, both times – and then my diaper exploded all over the place.”

Happy laughs, running her fingertips along Addie’s cheeks. “Thanks for saving that for Daddy, honey,” she says.

Toby leans up to kiss the top of Addie’s head and then meet Happy’s lips.

“It was worth it,” Toby replies. “Anything for my girls.”

It’s not long before Addie starts fussing, bright eyes opening to see Happy. Addie smiles.

“Hey, honey,” Happy says, pulling her close. “Good morning.”

Addie coos and smiles, little legs kicking out.

“Yeah, you hungry? It’s dinner time.”

“Speaking of,” Toby begins.

“Thai’s on the counter,” Happy replies. “As long as you can go get the diapers from the car?” She grins at him.

“Anything for you, my love,” Toby says, kissing her. “But, uh. You’re going to need to get up before I do. With the baby.”

“Well, yeah.” Happy rolls off of Toby and takes Addie with her, resting her against her shoulder. “How’s my girl doing tonight?”

Addie wrinkles her nose and begins fussing more.

“Hungry, apparently,” Happy says. “Not unexpected.”

She hears the door close, and then it swings open less than ten seconds later.

“Holy crap,” Toby says. “December. Why did I think I could go outside shirtless in December?!”

“Because Daddy didn’t think that through,” Happy says to Addie. She sits down on the couch and Addie has her dinner while Happy flips through the TV channels to find something decent.

“Oh, hey,” she says, grinning. “How the Grinch Stole Christmas is on later tonight. Awesome.” She looks down at Addie. “Not to interrupt dinner, Addie, but this is the best Christmas movie, hands down.”

“Wrong!” Toby shouts as he walks into the door. “Muppet’s Christmas Carol. Hands down.”

“No way,” Happy calls back. “And can you bring me some of that?”

“The diapers?”

“The Thai food,” Happy clarifies. “Obviously.”

She rocks Addie absentmindedly as she feeds, settling on some reality show about babies that she finds mildly amusing.

“Hey, Toby,” she says, nodding. “Come look at this. That lady wants the baby to fit into their life, not the other way around.”

Toby laughs. “Oh, she is charmingly oblivious,” he says. “Also, dinner.”

“Awesome,” Happy replies.

But unfortunately, Happy can’t eat anything but a spring roll, because Addie’s started kicking her little legs all over the place all the time. It makes it difficult to eat anything that involves multiple hands or a utensil when she’s breast feeding.

Addie falls asleep and Happy rocks her, unwilling to let her go back into her bassinet despite being hungry. She wants to hold onto her for a little longer, before she has to start really thinking about where Addie’s going to go once Happy goes back to work. She’s only nine weeks old, but Walter’s apparently getting desperate for Happy and Toby to be at the garage at the same time, and staying home is no longer an option.

Happy shifts Addie so she can pull her hoodie down over her chest, and turns to Toby. “How the hell are we going to do this working with Scorpion?” she asks, worried. She sits Addie up and balances her while Happy sits her plate on her leg. She and Toby have talked about Addie and work a couple of times, but never came up with a game plan. And now it’s getting real. They can’t be homebodies forever.

“What do you mean?” he asks through a mouthful of Pad Thai.

She nods down. “Addie. We can’t bring her into the garage with us.”

“We can’t?” Toby asks.

Happy blinks. “I figured Walter would consider it a distraction.”

Toby considers it. “I mean, probably. But Ralph’s there all the time, and we only worked better together once we started dating.” He scoops another unreasonably huge bite into his mouth. “Maybe we should talk to Walt about it.”

“Agreed,” Happy says. “Not looking forward to it, but we need to have the conversation.”

“But not tonight, right?” Toby asks. “Because I really don’t want to do anything else tonight.”

“Anything else?” Happy asks. “I’m the one who went grocery shopping and got dinner.”

“She puked on me,” Toby says. “And it’s still not all out of my hair.”

“In your hair?” Happy asks incredulously.

Toby nods, looking a little distressed. “You’d be surprised at a baby’s ability to projectile vomit.”

Happy wrinkles her nose and looks down at Addie. “Save that for your daddy, Addie Grace.”

Addie shifts, like she recognizes her name.

“I hope he lets us hold onto her,” Happy muses, rocking Addie. She brushes some of Addie’s dark hair across her forehead. “Getting a nanny just seems weird.”

“Weird, but if we have to, we’ll find someone who would work,” Toby assures her. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried,” Happy replies. “I’m just not up for leaving her all the time.” She grins at Toby. “I have mom disease.”

“That’s just being a mom,” Toby corrects. He rolls off the couch and kneels in front of Addie. “Hi, baby.”

Addie, still asleep, does not respond.

“Yes, I totally agree with you. Freud was so inaccurate that I can’t believe he was taken seriously for so long.”

“Why are you talking to your child about Freud?” Happy asks. “What on earth could that do?”

“Language development,” Toby explains. “There’s an actual reason. Talking to babies helps them understand that sounds have meaning, making it easier for them to talk.”

“Oh, god,” Happy groans, falling against the couch. “I’m going to be dealing with a talker.” She looks at Toby. “Is she going to talk as much as you do? Because if she does, I’m screwed.”

Toby leans in and kisses Addie’s forehead. “We’ll have to see. Come on. We’re doing some Netflix watching in the bedroom. You bring the baby, I’ll bring the bassinet.”

“I’m not done with dinner!” Happy argues, watching him grab her food.

“Yeah, well,” Toby says, holding up both plates. “Dinner in bed?”

“Oh,” Happy replies. “I think I can go for that.”

She settles Addie in between the two of them as she sleeps, and Happy, for once in her life, is more hungry than she is tired, so she isn’t worried at all about falling asleep and rolling over on the baby.

Toby, on the other hand.

“Are you okay?” she asks, watching him yawn. “You look exhausted.”

He yawns again, doing a poor job of waving off her concern. “I’m totally fine.”

“You don’t look it,” Happy says. “Go to sleep. I’ll take care of tonight.”

He shakes his head. “I’m fine.”

“Go,” Happy says firmly, “to sleep. Between Thai food, Netflix, and our kid, I’ll have plenty of entertainment. I'll wake you up when I’m exhausted.”

Toby nods. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” she replies, grinning. “Goodnight.”

He nods, the yawn knocking him over on the pillow. “Goodnight, my girls.”

He’s out in a couple of seconds.

“And the whole team is down for the count,” Happy says. “Which means I get to watch American Chopper.”

It’s short lived – Addie wakes up about forty minutes later with a wet diaper and hungry again, so Happy changes then feeds her while practically drooling over some particularly nice vehicles.

“Now, Addie,” Happy says, “I got rid of my bike for that soccer mom car. Well. One of my bikes. I have another one – that’s the one we’ll be working on.” She smiles down at Addie, who is looking around with amazing curiosity and awareness. “If you want to,” Happy corrects. “You might want to be, like, a ballerina or something.” She watches as Addie grabs onto her finger. “Actually, one of my favorite people from when I was younger was a ballerina. Her name was Rosa.” She smiles in spite of herself. “She was badass. Kind of scary. But an amazing dancer. And you can be an amazing badass dancer if you want to be, too.”

After that she’s quiet, just watching Addie as she fades out of being hungry and into being tired again, and then she rests Addie in her bassinet.

“Goodnight, Addie Grace,” Happy says.

~

Happy gets Addie into her car seat while she’s still sleeping soundly, making the whole ordeal a million times easier, and they get to the garage earlier than they expected. Happy’s actually impressed they managed to all get to the same place in the same vehicle without a major problem, but they’re here and everybody better be impressed.

She hauls Addie’s baby carrier in, wishing slightly that she could have done more arm workouts while pregnant to prepare for the sheer amount of weight lifting she has to do now. But the concern disappears when the entire team runs to see them.

“The whole gang is back together again,” Cabe says, absolutely gleeful. “Let’s get a look at our girl.”

“She’s asleep,” Happy says. “Let her stay that way.” She sends a look over to Toby.

“Oh, hey, Walt?” Toby says. “Can we talk to you for a minute?”

“Certainly,” Walter replies, standing in the same place.

“Okay, blunt,” Happy says. “Walter, we need to talk to you in private. Got it?”

“Oh,” he says, “yes. Right. Turn off the intercom this time.”

Toby nods. “Let’s just – get upstairs.”

They make their way up the steps, Paige, Cabe, and Sly cooing over Addie as she sleeps in her carrier, and Happy half hopes Toby will take over this conversation.

But he’s looking over at her, and she suddenly realizes this might be her job. Mom’s job.

It’s still weird to think of herself like that.

“Walter,” she says, “I’m not sure how comfortable I am with only one of us being here at a time.”

“I agree,” Walter says. “This team has fought through a lot to reach this level of efficiency and comradery. I would appreciate both of you returning to the garage full time.”

Happy nods. “So,” she says, “we were wondering if we could have Addie come with, stay with us here while we work.”

Walter looks confused.

“On cases where you only need one of us, the other one can stay here and man the tech while watching her,” Toby interjects, “and when we’re both needed, we can have Patrick or Ralph babysit.” Toby looks unconvinced of the success of his argument, which worries Happy. Usually she’s looking toward a negative outcome while Toby is optimistic, but right now both of them seem to have lost hope.

Walter looks between the two of them. “I think I misunderstood,” he says. “I had assumed Addie would be joining us in the garage.”

“You what?” Happy splutters.

“I’ve looking into parent/child bonding, especially in the first few years of life,” he begins, “and I believe this decision is in your hands. Should I give strict rules that would significantly affect your ability to parent to your greatest ability, your efficiency at work would be impacted.”

“Seriously?” Toby asks. “She can stay here?”

Walter nods. “I think you would both be far more distracted if she was away from you all day. And there are many days when we have in-house cases or local situations where we’d just need a babysitter.” He smiles at them. “I hope this is the answer you were looking for.”

“Are you kidding?” Toby says. “This is the first time in years you’ve been this awesome.”

Walter’s eyebrows furrow. “What?”

“Compliment, buddy,” Toby says, pulling Walter into a hug. “Take it. We love you right now.”

Happy nods at Walter from where he’s wrapped in Toby’s arms. “Thanks, Walt.”

“Oh,” Toby says. “Would it be okay to make a little corner for her? Happy and I can set up our workspaces so she can be right in between us, not get in the way.”

Walter nods. “That’s a good idea. But, uh,” he smiles at them. “One catch.”

Happy deflates. He’ll probably dock their pay or something.

“Shoot,” Toby replies.

“You’ll have to let Paige babysit sometimes,” he says, smile growing. “She really likes babies.”

“That is fine by me,” Toby says. “Hap?”

“She’s got more experience parenting than I do,” she says, shrugging. “I’m down.”

Walter smiles. “I’m glad we get to have our,” he pauses, “new team member join us. I think she will grow up with the most positive intellectual experiences surrounded by geniuses.”

“Hah!” Toby exclaims. “Ulterior motive. Walter wants to shape our baby into the next Walter O’Brien.”

“Unlikely,” Walter says. “Generally genetics play a part in genius.”

Happy reaches out and socks him in the arm. “We are geniuses, jackass,” she says. “Plus, Addie’s going to do whatever the hell she wants in life. We’ll make sure of it.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Walter says.

They hear an excited squeal and Happy has to control herself before she darts down the stairs. Walking over to Addie and the rest of the team, she sees Addie smiling at Paige, who keeps saying, “Who’s the most beautiful girl in the world? Addie girl!” She turns. “Look! It’s mommy!”

Happy reaches out and takes Addie. “Hey, kid,” she says, kissing her forehead. “You’re not kicked out of the garage. Uncle Walter decided to be a normal person.”

“I am not a normal person,” Walter says. “I just understand the empirical evidence behind allowing new parents constant connection to their child, as well as the benefit to a child who could very well be part of the next generation of genius minds. It is my duty to ensure her upbringing is as wholesome, supportive, and intellectually stimulating as possible.”

They all look at him.

“You’re trying to make our daughter the next Walter O’Brien,” Happy says, echoing Toby’s words with mild horror. “Don’t make our kid a nerd.”

“Well, she would have been a nerd no matter what,” Paige explains. “Toby’s her dad.”


	29. Addie, 11 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meaning of the holidays changes drastically when there's a new human in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve chapter in May, apparently. My timing was wayyyy off on this one.

Getting to the garage with an infant and Toby in tow is more work than Happy wants to admit, but getting to see Addie here, all day every day, makes it worth it. Whenever she needs something, one of the team is there to help if Happy and Toby are otherwise occupied, Happy’s gotten good at holding Addie while working, and it’s working better than Happy imagined possible.

In the first two weeks of having Addie at the garage, the mood has improved drastically. Happy’s never going to be comfortable with breast feeding in front of anyone but Toby, so she and Walter built what they call a “privacy space” with the old curtain they never use.

“For diaper changing and feeding needs,” Walter decides. “And it can be Addie’s play space when she becomes older and has more independent interests, such as reading or chemistry.”

“Or coloring,” Happy says, “like a normal toddler.”

She had stayed at the garage that day to man the tech with Addie resting against her shoulder, burping her while navigating the team through particularly messy terrain, and Happy has to admit, she’s glad she’s here. Happy trusts her team, but when it comes to her tech and her baby, Happy’s pretty sure she’s the one to take care of them. Plus, it’s Russia. Happy hates that flight.

“Alright, guys, if you get out of the swamp and look to your left, the shed should be there,” she says. “And the radioactivity glowing around that place is ridiculous. If anybody’s trying to make a dirty bomb, it’ll be in there.” Addie starts fussing and Happy shushes her. “Also, Addie says hi.”

“Hey, baby girl!” Toby exclaims. “Dad’s going to be home soon, kiddo.”

“Eyes on the mission, Toby,” Happy laughs, but Addie smiles at his voice. “Yes, Daddy’s weird.”

“She smiled when she heard me, didn’t she?” Toby says. “I can tell. That’s you’re ‘she smiled’ voice.”

“I do not have a ‘she smiled’ voice,” Happy counters, but Addie smiles again and rests so serenely on her shoulder that she has to admit that, yeah, she might have one. “You guys nearly there?”

“Yeah,” Cabe says. “Turning off coms now. We don’t want to risk any interference.”

“Stay safe, guys,” Happy says. She wanted to go, she really did, but with Addie still breast feeding and her building the device back at the garage yesterday, it made more sense for Walter to do the hard part and for her to stay behind. She’s done her part. Any exposure to radioactivity is too much, according to Toby, so she made the decision to stay.

Besides, this way she doesn’t get stuck on a twelve hour flight to northern Russia. There’s always a pretty big silver lining when it comes to the travel.

“We will,” comes Toby’s voice, but whatever he said next is cut off.

“And now we wait,” Happy sighs. She moves Addie and holds her carefully, fingertips supporting her head.

And then she realizes – Addie was picking her head up, all by herself. Happy moves her hand as Addie rests against her shoulder, and watches as Addie lifts her head.

“You really are advanced, aren’t you,” Happy says, trying not to feel too giddy. Addie bounces her legs on Happy’s thighs until she finds steady ground, standing and smiling.

“Good job, Addie Grace!” Happy exclaims. She never thought she’d be cheering someone on for standing up, but here she is. And, though she couldn’t do it without support, Addie’s strong and she’s got a lot of weight on her own legs. “You’re the best!”

And then it happens, a tiny giggle.

Happy’s jaw drops. “Did you just laugh?” she asks. “Did my girl just laugh?”

Addie bounces again, and when she lets out another giggle, Happy follows suit.

“Oh, you’re so awesome,” she says, hugging Addie and standing, spinning them. “Kid, I’m going to gloat so bad to your dad. You laughed for me first!”

They go back and forth for about twenty minutes, long enough that Happy doesn’t have time to worry about her team a million miles away, and Addie’s giggles change in tone, power, volume, like each one is a different communication. It’s amazing.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Happy says conspiratorially, “but you may be the coolest person on the planet.”

Addie giggles.

“Yeah,” Happy says, “well said, kid."

Addie leans in and snuggles up to Happy, her eyes closing. She falls asleep in seconds.

“How,” says Happy, deadpan. “How do you do that when we’re in the garage, but it takes you a million years to fall asleep when you’re at home in your own bed?” She sighs, rocking Addie as she stands and returns to her seat. She checks her watch – it’s been twenty-seven minutes.

“Okay,” Happy says, trying not to let her knee bounce, afraid of waking Addie, “thirteen minutes before I start to get worried.”

They’d done the math – it should take five minutes from turning off coms to get to the bomb, ten to break into the building, twenty minutes from there to disarm and deactivate it, and another five to get their asses as far away from the sight before anyone sees them and turn their coms back on.

They should be nearly done deactivating the thing. Walter, if he’s as good as he says he is, should be completing the last pieces of the deactivation method. They should be able to contact her soon.

She holds Addie close as the minutes tick by. Without Addie’s laughter filling the garage, time feels endless and terrifying, and Happy decides she might make Walter let them stay home tomorrow, do absolutely nothing while they recover from the aftermath of this. Or, she thinks, maybe she’s overreacting. The mom vibes don’t turn off when Addie’s safe, so maybe Happy’s just transferring them to the team.

“Damn hormones,” Happy grumbles.

It’s at forty-three minutes, and Happy’s worried.

“They’re okay,” she says, rocking Addie in a way that might be more of a comfort to her than to the baby. “They’re going to be okay.”

It’s fifty-two minutes before she hears Toby saying, “We’re okay! We’re good!”

And then Paige’s voice says, “Easy for you to say!”

Happy startles so much she wakes Addie. “Oh, damn it,” she says, bouncing Addie as she cries with surprise. “What the hell happened?!”

“Guns,” Paige says, sounding irritated. “Guns happened. At me.” She sighs. “Why do people always point guns at me?”

“Are you okay?” Happy asks over Addie’s cries. She looks around for the teal pacifier that Addie’s grown fond of, determining that soothing her with bounces and words is futile, and pops it in her mouth. Addie calms and falls right back to sleep. “Sorry. This child is ridiculous. Are you people okay, though?”

“Yeah,” Paige grumbles. “Your boyfriend is a decent doctor, but I still got shot in the leg.”

“It was a graze,” Walter says firmly.

“I did stitches,” Toby says. “She’s going to be fine, as long as we get her some antibiotics when we get to the states.”

“Get to the states soon,” Happy replies. “Your kid misses you.”

“Yeah?” Toby says, sounding happy. “How about my – ”

“Not your own personal coms, kids,” Cabe says, voice sounding gruff. “Let’s get home so you people can have moments in private.”

Happy relaxes against the chair. “The chopper is two minutes out from your location,” she says, sighing in relief. “You guys will be home soon.”

“Until tomorrow!” Toby says. “Or. Today? Tomorrow. Time zones.”

“Get home,” Happy says meaningfully. “We’ll see you all soon.”

Happy was planning on staying awake until they got there, as she and Addie had slept until around three hours before the team had called them to say they were in Russia. She's only been up for a few hours. She should definitely be able to make it twelve hours.

Happy doesn’t make it twelve hours, and neither does Addie. She falls asleep on the couch, with Addie’s hands curled around her finger where she lay in her pack and play. Every time Addie cried, Happy would wake up, but the garage was darker at night than their apartment is at any time. Happy drowsily feeds and changes Addie when it's needed but, mostly, they sleep.

Happy wakes up to the pitch black and check her watch: two hours to go. Addie is fussing quietly, but it seems more that she is asleep and having a bad dream than she was really awake.

Happy picks her up and rests her on her chest. Addie immediately quiets.

“There you go, baby,” Happy murmurs. “Just sleep.”

She’s awake, she really is, the whole time Addie sleeps on top of her, which is why her eyes fly open when she hears the garage door swing against the wall.

Happy sits up slowly, one hand holding Addie gently. “Hey, guys,” she mumbles, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “Nice flight?”

“Hey, Happy,” Toby says. He’s whispering, and Toby looks behind him to see Paige and Walter walking in, mostly sleeping. “We dropped Cabe and Sly off at their houses. Let’s head out.”

“Awesome,” Happy says, yawning. “What time is it?”

“Seven in the morning.”

Happy groans. “So much for her sleep schedule. I’m going back to bed when we get home.”

“Me too,” says Toby. “Don’t tell her, but Paige snores.”

“No I don’t!” she shouts from the kitchen.

“Damn,” Toby says, taking Addie and settling her into her car seat. “I didn’t think she would be able to hear us.”

They manage to get Addie in the car and home without incident, and she stays asleep in her crib when Happy sets her there.

“Let’s go to bed,” Toby says quietly. “It’s been a long day.”

Happy changes out of the clothes she’s been wearing for nearly two days and pulls one of Toby’s sweatshirts over her tank top.

“Hey, guess what day it is?” Toby says, grinning.

“What?” Happy mumbles, because she’s sleepy and ready for bed and, seriously, this parenting thing is exhausting on top of their ridiculous job.

“It’s Christmas Eve Day Eve!” Toby exclaims, hugging her close.

“You hate Christmas,” Happy laughs, cuddling into his embrace.

“We have a kid now,” he says, sounding elated. “Can you imagine when she opens her presents?”

“This time?” Happy asks. “She’s not even three months old, Toby. She can’t open presents. We don’t even have a tree.”

Toby scoffs. “Says you. I bought a little one before Russia.”

Happy turns. “That’s where you were when we got the call.”

He shrugs. “I got distracted grocery shopping. They have tiny trees at the grocery store now!”

Happy sighs. “We’ll decorate tomorrow?”

Toby nods excitedly. “Merry Christmas Eve!”

“You’re weird.”

He kisses her cheek. “You’re weirder.”

~

Christmas Eve Day, as Toby calls it, consists of Paige insisting on the completion of paperwork so that they could all get together Christmas afternoon.

“Okay, but seriously,” Happy shouts across the garage while simultaneously nursing Addie and writing up a report, “why didn’t we get this day off again?”

“Because I wanted to be all done with all this stupid paperwork before we had the week off,” Paige replies. Happy can hear people shuffling around. “Plus, we have plans for the week and none of us want to come in here for that time, now, do we?”

“I mean, you’re not wrong,” Toby says. He makes a knocking noise as he taps on the curtain.

“You don’t need to knock, Toby,” Happy says, rolling her eyes. “I can tell it’s you.”

Toby pushes back the curtain and steps in. “Paige wanted me to check in that you were almost done with the paperwork.”

Happy nods, signing her name at the bottom of the paper and handing it to Toby. “I’m all done after this,” Happy replies. “I keep on top of my paperwork, unlike you. And Cabe. And Walter.”

Toby sighs. “I’m just so distracted by my absolutely beautiful family,” he says.

Happy rolls her eyes. Addie pulls away, starting to fuss. “Even the baby thinks you’re ridiculous.”

Toby shrugs. “Still love you.” He walks away and gives the paper to Paige. Addie finishes her lunch, and Happy prays that they get to go home after this. She’s not the biggest fan of holidays, but she’s a fan of days off of work, which is what this should be.

She holds Addie in one arm and settles her so she can see everyone as Happy walks out to the garage, and Paige gives her a look.

“You’re going to ask me if you can leave, aren’t you?” she sighs.

“Oh, I’m not,” Happy replies. She shifts Addie so she can sit right on Paige’s desk, right in Paige’s line of sight. “Addie is. Look, she’s bored as hell here.”

“You’re not allowed to use the baby to get out of work,” Paige replies, adjusting her leg. “That’s unfair.”

Addie smiles at her, looking so damn adorable that Paige melts. “You can’t do that to me when she’s wearing her ‘I’m acute baby’ onesie and a pink bow. That’s rude.”

Happy shrugs. “Not my fault. Blame the baby.” She leans down and kisses the top of Addie’s head.

“Ugh, fine,” Paige decides, grinning. “Day’s over, people. Everybody head home. We’re meeting at my apartment tomorrow at 12:30 for presents, right?”

Happy nods. “And not a minute sooner. We sleep in on vacation days, don’t we, baby girl.” Addie replies by blowing bubbles. “Exactly.”

Paige reaches out to snuggle Addie so Happy hands her over, taking the few minutes to clean up her workspace while Toby finishes the last report about the job in Russia.

Toby taps his nose with his pen. “Do I have to describe every part about patching Paige’s leg up, or are we just going with the ‘a team member got shot’ angle and insisting that the government pay for the medical expenses?”

“You are the medical expenses,” Happy replies.

Toby nods. “Yeah, and I’m pricey. Plus, writing prescriptions for antibiotics and oxycodone is risky in this day and age.” He frowns. “Yeah, I’m writing in explicit detail. I don’t want them thinking I’m selling drugs to addicts or anything.”

Happy groans. “Explicit detail is how much longer?”

“Ten to twelve minutes, approximately,” Toby replies. “Less time, though, if I have coffee.” He aims the puppy eyes at Happy.

“Ugh, fine,” Happy groans. She goes and gets his stupid hazelnut coffee with his stupid hazelnut creamer and brings it over to him. “Your cup of joe, nerd.”

He beams at her. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

“Yes,” Happy replies. “All the time, you sap.”

Paige hands Addie back to Happy, grabs her crutches and stands, her injured leg in the air. She gives Toby a pointed look. “You better be done by the time I get to the bathroom and come back here.” She shuffles on her crutches. “Though that might actually be more time than you need to be working.”

Toby shushes them, his hand flying across the paper. “I’m in the zone.”

It’s five minutes and twelve seconds – Happy times it – before Toby signs his name with an absurd flourish and places it neatly on Paige’s desk.

He exhales in delight. “Now that that’s over with, let’s get some family time done. We need to decorate the tree.”

“We do?” Happy asks. “Do we really?”

Toby nods. “Oh, we do.”

Paige hobbles out of the bathroom and looks miserable. “I hate crutches almost as much as I hate getting shot.”

“I know,” Toby says comfortingly. “But hopefully with some rest you’ll be better and off those things soon, alright?” He’s got his Doctor Voice on combined with his Doctor Face.

Paige nods and glances over to Walter. "Let's see if he tries to take care of me tonight."

"And with the mental image of Walter trying to be a caretaker," Toby says, shuffling himself and Happy out of the garage, "I bid you good day."

They say goodbye to the team and get home soon, Addie screaming the entire drive home despite Toby contorting in the front seat to hold her hand.

“Why does she hate cars so much?” Happy grumbles over Addie’s cries, parking in their spot.

“I think she hates being restrained in the car seat,” Toby explains, picking Addie’s car seat up. “But she’ll be okay soon, right, baby?”

Addie replies by screaming louder.

“Let’s just get her inside,” Happy decides. “Maybe she’ll chill out, then.”

She does, in fact. Once Toby picks Addie up and rocks her, she calms down and starts cooing at him, making sweet noises that make Toby “ooh” and “aww” like a movie theater audience.

“You are smitten,” Happy says, grinning at the two of them. “Look at you.” She nods at the way Addie’s gripping Toby’s hand. “She’s got you locked in.”

“To be fair, so are you,” Toby replies. “Look, you’re doing the mommy eyes again.”

“Am not!” Happy replies, but she can’t stop smiling. “God, she’s sweet when she’s not screaming.”

“I know,” Toby says as Addie makes little noses. “I know, baby girl, you are so wonderful and sweet! Crying is no fun, is it?”

Addie smiles at him, gripping at Toby’s thumb more forcefully.

“Hey, look at that!” Toby says. “She’s making my hand move, look!”

“That’s because she’s awesome,” Happy explains. “Now where’s that tree?”

“Oh,” Toby rests Addie in Happy’s arms, “I’ll grab it. It’s in the linen closet.”

“Our fake Christmas tree fits in our tiny linen closet?” Happy asks as Addie babbles along in her ear. “That’s an interesting concept.”

“Yeah,” Toby replies, his voice muffled. He must be half into the linen closet at this point. “But it’s our Charlie Brown Christmas tree, so it’s cute.”

“Charlie who?” Happy asks. Toby walks in with a Christmas tree about four feet high and three feet wide at the base, short and squat.

“Have you ever seen that Christmas special?” he asks incredulously. “Never mind. We have to decorate.”

“With what?” Happy asks.

Toby holds up a finger. “I went shopping.”

“When did you have time to go shopping?” Happy asks. Addie coos. “Yes, I know, your daddy’s a dork.”

“Right before we got called in to go to Russia,” Toby replies, proudly setting the tree down. “Got a couple of ornaments, some lights.” He sets a box on their coffee table. “It’s not much,” he says, and he suddenly looks a little sad. “But for our first Christmas I wanted something,” he walks up to Happy and presses his lips to her temple, “I wanted something to look back on.”

Happy leans against his shoulder, yawning. “Works for me,” she says.

They trade between decorating and holding Addie, who makes interested little squeaks as they show her some of the strange little ornaments Toby found.

“Okay, I know where these came from,” Happy says, holding up the ornaments Paige had given them two years before and hanging them on the tree. “But when did you get this one?”

“Oh, that?” Toby asks. “Last weekend, when you and Addie were visiting Paige.”

Happy looks down at the ‘My First Christmas 2017” ornament, with a little picture of Addie in the center. It’s one Paige took when Addie was four weeks old, the little one curled up on one of Toby’s Harvard shirts, wearing a purple onesie that matches her blanket. “This is adorable.”

Toby grins, looking proud of himself. “I know! I designed it all.” He looks at it, shifting Addie to the crook of his elbow. “I like the little name at the bottom. It took me a while to choose that font.”

“You are incredibly proud of yourself,” Happy sighs. “But it is cute.”

The rest of the ornaments are generic baubles and bright shapes, things that Addie likes to look at and touch.

Happy rests a blue sphere in Addie’s hand. “Pretty, right, Addie Grace?” Happy says.

Addie coos and smiles. “Good girl,” Happy laughs.

They’re done with the Christmas tree by eight, and Happy rests Addie in her bassinet instead of her crib.

“Just so we all wake up tomorrow morning together,” Happy explains at Toby’s curious expression. “She’ll go back to her own bed tomorrow night.”

“Hardcore mommy,” Toby sighs. Happy shuts him up with a kiss, and he holds her close, his hands resting gently on her lower back.

“Merry Christmas, Happy,” he sighs, tucking a lose curl behind her ear.

“You too, Doc.” She grins at him. “Hey, you ever thought we’d be happy to see the holidays? I mean, three years ago the two of us watched a marathon of Dexter for 24 straight hours and got smashed until we completely forgot that it was Christmas.”

Toby laughs, scrubbing his face with his hand. “Oh, god, we need to stop drinking like that,” he laughs. “Never again.”

“Maybe one more time,” Happy decides. “When Addie’s got a babysitter or something.”

Toby nods. “Okay, deal.”

Toby falls asleep first to the tone of How the Grinch Stole Christmas in the background, but Happy’s mind is buzzing. Without jostling Toby too much, she shifts to take a look at Addie, who is sleeping soundly.

“I know I need to go to sleep,” Happy mutters to Addie, “because you’ll be up in two hours,” she reaches out and touches Addie’s hand, watching as Addie’s fingers curl around her fingertip. “But sometimes I just like to remind myself that you’re here.”

It’s another five minutes before Happy’s mind calms down, and she settles back against the mattress. Toby, still sleeping, loops his arms around her waist and pulls her close.

“I’ve got to turn off the TV,” she laughs. But she can’t wiggle her way out of his hold with the slight bit of effort she’s willing to give, so she decides the TV can stay on. She’s too comfortable here, with Toby’s arms wrapped around her safely and Addie’s quiet breathing.

“Merry Christmas is right,” she mutters, and then falls asleep.


	30. Addie's First Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very Cyclone Christmas - complete with mild injury.

Happy wakes up the Christmas morning to Addie laying on her chest in the most ridiculous red and white outfit, complete with a Santa hat.

“Am I hallucinating?” Happy mumbles, resting her hand on Addie’s back. “What’s happening?”

“Good morning, Mommy!” Toby says in his squeaky Addie voice. “It’s Christmas!”

Happy sits up, cradling Addie against her chest, and Addie giggles when Happy kisses her nose.

“Whoa,” Toby says, looking shocked. “Did she just giggle?”

Happy nods. “She laughed for me for nearly twenty minutes when you guys were disarming that bomb the other day.” She grins smugly. “She thinks I’m funny.”

“Not fair,” Toby says. He’s also in a Christmas themed outfit, but more ridiculous. His tee shirt looks like a Santa costume iron on, bright red and garish, topped with the most absurd Santa hat. 

“You look ridiculous,” Happy mumbles, mid yawn. “She looks cute, though.”

“She always looks cute,” Toby replies. He leans in and kisses her forehead. “So do you.”

“I’m wearing a tank top and a sweatshirt,” Happy replies. “I look like a disaster.”

Toby shakes his head. “Nah,” he replies. “Beautiful.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Are you ever going to be normal?”

“Nope!” Toby replies. “Now, come on. Paige and I came up with something for the team today, and I want to make sure we get our Christmas done before we have the big family Christmas.”

Happy’s skeptical. “Should I be worried?”

“You should be delighted,” Toby counters. “We’ve been planning it for weeks. It’s the best idea anyone’s ever had in the history of ideas.”

Happy pats Addie’s back. “In that case, I’m really worried.”

Happy gets dressed, tries to avoid the Santa hat in Toby’s hand, and loses the battle when he sets it on her head while she’s breastfeeding.

“That’s just rude,” Happy decides. “I’m completely incapacitated, baby wise, and you get a hat on my head.”

“I just really like the way you look in hats,” Toby says sunnily. “Now finish up, Addie, my love, because Mommy needs her Christmas breakfast and Daddy’s really excited to give Mommy her Christmas present.” He kisses Happy’s forehead. “It’s not as good as you giving me our daughter, but it’s still a good gift.”

“Addie’s a human being, not a present,” Happy says, rolling her eyes with a smile. “But I see where you're going with that and I’ll take the brownie points.”

“Good,” Toby says. He’s so excited it’s almost like he’s vibrating.

“Do you want me to open something now?” Happy asks. "Because I can, once Addie's done."

Toby nods. “Oh, thank god, yes.” And he bolts outside the room.

“What is your dad up to, Addie Grace,” Happy mutters.

Toby walks into the room with keys in his hand. “Merry Christmas!”

“What did you do,” Happy sighs, shifting Addie so she can sit and watch Toby walk over to them. Addie starts fussing and pushing at Happy's chest until Happy burps her. 

Toby looks like he’s half ready to explode. “Remember how you were telling me you always wanted an ATV but couldn’t find any that you liked?”

Happy takes the keys. “Yeah.” She’s not sure where Toby is going with this. He’s right – she’s always wanted an ATV, but with a kid now, she was certain they wouldn’t be able to afford something that frivolous. Besides, where would they store it?

“I found one!” Toby says, looking giddy. “Already talked to Walter, he’s got a space for it in the garage.” He stands back up walking to the window. “Look! Look outside!”

Happy peers outside to see the most beat to shit ATV in the world. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s seen other than Addie.

“What?” she says quietly. "Wait, what?"

“Is it right?” Toby asks. “Damn it, I knew I should have –”

“It’s perfect,” Happy assures him. “This can be the first thing Addie and I work on together.” She sighs. “Damn, you did good. My gift is, like. Terrible compared to yours.”

“I doubt it,” Toby says, kissing her forehead.

“Toby, I got you a bread maker and updated your subscriptions to your three psych journals,” Happy says. “Those do not compare to an ATV.”

Toby sighs. “Way to ruin the surprise.”

“I’m sorry, were we not doing Christmas right now?” Happy asks, a little lost. She's never done Christmas before, and suddenly a horror wells up in her heart that she messed it up. 

“Yeah, we are but now I don’t get to open it and get the surprise!” Toby replies. Happy relaxes. “I mean, when I was little, my dad used to wrap scratch tickets in paper bags, so this will still be better than that, but –”

Happy presses a finger to his lips. “Chill. I got you some little things, too. Those you can unwrap. And we still have to open Addie’s gifts.”

Toby grins. “I forgot about that.” He leans down and kisses Addie’s nose. “You excited for your first Christmas, baby girl?”

Addie coos and squeaks, wiggling her arms, culminating in a joyous giggle.

“She laughed!” Toby says, looking at Happy with such a giddy expression that Happy has to laugh. “She laughed for me.”

“At you,” Happy corrects. “She laughed at you.”

“Works for me!” Toby exclaims. He looks down at Addie with such an amazed admiration that Happy can’t get over. “Now come on. You need to unwrap some books, I need to unwrap some things I already know about, and Addie,” he tickles Addie’s tummy, “needs to open her first ever Christmas presents.”

Their Christmas morning is quiet, full of baby clothes Toby ordered from random websites with dorky sayings all over them, a rolling activity center that Happy modified to keep from falling over that they can move from their apartment to the garage with minimal effort, and a couple of books they give each other.

“You got me the entirety of the Chronicles of Narnia?” Happy asks, confused. “The books and the audiobooks?”

Toby nods. “You ever read them?”

Happy shakes her head. “Wasn’t much time for reading when I was younger, at least not for fun.” She runs her hand over the first book, one of seven that fit perfectly in a case.  

When she looks up, Toby’s smiling at her, Addie in his lap. “I figured we could read them together as a family,” he reaches out and lets Addie grip at his finger. “Addie’s first bedtime stories, until she’s old enough to request the same picture book ten dozen times in a row over the course of three days.”

Happy sets the books down and leans over to kiss him. “I love that idea,” she says quietly. She never had bedtime stories, never had anyone to read to her before she fell asleep. She never had a favorite book that somebody read to her a million times – she just read the manuals from all the cars she could find, and borrowed books from the library she’d hide out in before she’d have to walk back home.

And now her daughter is sitting safely in Toby’s lap, cooing and smiling in a Santa hat and a Christmas outfit.

“I love you too,” Toby replies. Toby holds Addie up at the waist. “Look! She’s standing.” He looks down at her legs. “Hips seem to be aligned. She’s supporting some of her weight, which is good.”

“You just went from Dad to doctor in about three seconds,” Happy laughs. Addie smiles and giggles back at her, moving her arms rapidly up and down.

“Careful, baby girl, or you might just fly away!” Toby stands settles Addie in his arms, making zooming noises as he runs around the room.

“And back to Dad again,” Happy laughs. Addie’s stamina starts to fade and Happy realizes that, in the excitement, it’s been three hours since Addie had her breakfast.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Happy sighs, holding her arms out to Toby. “Time for breakfast.”

“I’ll get you a sandwich,” Toby says, kissing Happy’s forehead.

Happy and Addie eat and then Addie immediately falls asleep, and Happy realizes it’s not such a bad idea.

“You tired?” Toby asks, lounging on the couch. “You let me sleep last night. Thanks.”

Happy shrugs. “I’ve got the boobs. One of us might as well get eight hours.”

Toby laughs. “Take a nap, bunny,” he suggests. “I’ll keep an eye on you two.

Happy falls asleep with Addie asleep next to her, the two of them curled on the floor with blankets on top of them. She wakes up from time to time to check on Addie, but she’s asleep and content under her purple blanket, and Toby’s watching over them.

It’s god knows how long later when Happy blinks her eyes open and she sits up.

“You good, Hap?” Toby asks, already halfway through the second Chronicles of Narnia book.

Happy nods, sitting up. She feels rested, somehow, despite a nap on the floor. “I think I’m actually awake for the first time in 4 months,” she replies with a yawn. “The floor should have been way more uncomfortable, right?”

“Not if you haven’t been sleeping in months,” Toby replies. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but we’re heading over to Paige’s soon.” He checks his watch. “We have to leave in less than an hour.”

Happy stares at him. “I slept until two?” she asks, baffled.

Toby nods. “Four hours of sleep.”

“She didn’t wake up?” Happy asks, confused. “Why didn’t she wake up?”

“She did,” Toby replies. “But you had a bottle in the fridge for her from yesterday, so I fed her, changed her, and put her back to sleep.”

Happy nods. “Still, I’ve got to take care of this,” she says, pointing to her chest, “because otherwise it’s going to hurt in a few seconds.”

“You pump, I’ll baby watch,” Toby says. “Or I’ll read to you guys!”

Happy’s never been read to before, at least outside of school. A few foster families had suggested it, but she never said yes. It always seemed like she was being a burden.

“Okay,” Happy decides surprising herself. “We can do that.”

She gets the machine and Toby holds Addie, still sleeping peacefully in his arms. Happy hooks herself up and Toby begins to read.

The story is engaging enough for her to get distracted, forgetting that they have somewhere to be in a very short period of time. Happy starts visualizing everything in the story as Toby reads, magic and mystery weaving together in a way Happy forgot was possible.

And then her breast pump beeps, indicating it's been half an hour, and she jumps up.

“Not good,” Happy says, unhooking herself as quickly as she can. "We're going to be so late." She's scrambling to get in and out of the shower quickly enough that Toby can shower, too. Addie’s awake and hungry by the time Happy is dressed and ready to go, so she gives Addie one of her bottles and packs the Addie Bag while Toby jumps in the shower

Toby’s scrubbing at his hair with a towel five minutes later. “How are we always late?” Toby asks, looking for his shoes. “We had extra time.”

“Clearly not,” Happy says, pulling on a jacket. “Shit, where are the car keys?”

“No clue,” Toby replies, buckling Addie into her car seat. She immediately begins wailing. “Yes, I know,” Toby sighs, “we’re horrible people for putting you in this terrible car seat, and you hate us. We get it.”

Ten minutes later and they get to Paige’s apartment, Ralph bolting out the door with a huge smile on his face.

“Hey, guys!” he says. “You brought Addie, right?”

“Of course we brought Addie,” Toby replies. “She’s a little angry right now, so I’ll carry her in.” Addie shrieks and flails. "Don't want anybody but me to be in the danger zone."

Happy gets out of the car to see Ralph frowning. “She’s okay, though, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Happy replies. “Yeah, she just hates her car seat.” Happy unbuckles Addie and hands her to Toby. Addie immediately calms down.

“See?” Toby says.

By the time they get inside, Addie’s smiling and cheerful again while Happy hauls in her car seat and Ralph brings in Addie’s bag.

“My Addie girl!” Paige exclaims, rushing over. Addie reaches for her and Paige swoops Addie up. “Look at my big girl in her Christmas dress!”

Addie giggles, wiggling around in excitement in Paige’s arms.

“She laughed!” Paige exclaims. “Has she done that before?”

Happy nods. “She did it for the first time when you guys were in Russia,” she explains. “But since then, she hasn’t really stopped. She’s doing it mostly at me and Toby. I think she thinks we’re weird.”

“That’s because Mommy and Daddy are weird,” Paige says in a goofy voice. She presses a kiss to Addie’s cheek, and Addie squishes her face in her teeny, tiny hands.

“You are the most adorable thing in the world,” Paige proclaims.

Happy can see it in Paige’s eyes that there’s another reason she’s so attached to Addie. Paige clearly wants to have another kid, probably someone whose childhood she can be a stronger part of, someone who she can understand earlier on without misunderstanding. But she’s smiling when she says, “Whoosh!” and flies Addie into Happy’s arms. Addie settles in Happy’s arms, and Happy thinks that she could really love Christmas now.

“Presents!” Paige says. “I have so many presents. I’m so excited.”

“What?” Happy asks. “No, you didn’t have to –”

“Shut up,” Paige says, pointing at Happy. “It’s Christmas, and my Addie girl needs too many presents.”

Addie smiles, wiggling her arms.

“See? She agrees.”

“She’s an infant,” Happy replies, sitting down in front of the massive stack of gifts on the floor. “She’s smiling because she likes seeing you smile.”

Addie smacks at the gift in front of her as she sits in Happy’s lap.

“That’s called a present,” Happy says, placing her hands over Addie’s. “Want to open it?”

Addie makes her delighted squeaks, patting it even more excitedly.

“That’s a yes,” Paige says, snapping an unreasonable number of photos with her phone. “Come on, Happy, open it!”

Happy opens it and helps Addie move her hands to push aside the wrapping. “Oh, you did not.”

“They’re fun!” Paige defends.

“They were deemed unsafe in the early 90’s,” Toby says, eyeing the baby bouncer warily. “Like, fell out of door frames and clonked babies on the head, unsafe.”

Paige rolls her eyes. “Chill out, Dad,” Happy says. “Between me and this new,” she tips it over, “patented expert design, we’ll be fine.”

He frowns. “I just don’t want her to get hit on the head with the beam.”

“Oh, there is no beam,” Paige explains. “It’s got a couple of hooks for the sides of the frame.”

Happy looks over at Toby. “You think I can’t make edits to this to make it perfect?” She scoffs. “Please. I’ve got this.”

Sylvester walks out of the kitchen, Walter following behind.

“Are we doing presents?” Sylvester asks, sitting down next to Happy and Addie. “Because I have something for the little one.”

Happy plops Addie right into his lap, and tries not to be too amused by his surprise.

“Oh, come on,” Happy says, waving off his confusion. “Get used to holding her.”

He nods. “Hi, Addie,” he says, adjusting Addie so she’s sitting on his leg and leaning up against his arm. She blows bubbles at him.

“Burp cloth,” Toby says, reaching out and mopping Addie’s face. “Not gonna make you take care of that, Sly.”

Sylvester sends Toby an appreciative smile, and hands Addie a gift wrapped with love but not skill. “Here, Addie,” he says gently, like he’s scared to jostle her. “Merry Christmas.”

He pulls open the paper to reveal a little purple calculator, the same color as Addie’s blanket.

“Our baby’s first nerd tool,” Toby sighs, resting a hand on Happy’s shoulder.

“It’s not a nerd tool, it’s a calculator,” Sylvester corrects. “And it’s for her to learn how to prove her formulas, once she gets older.” He leans in and kisses Addie on the top of her head, something so sweet that Paige actually awes.

“Sly, I need a picture,” Paige says excitedly. “Don’t move.” She whips out her phone and snaps a couple photos, just in time for Addie to smile again. “Perfect.”

Presents are exchanged, mostly little things to the adults and incredibly cute outfits for Addie, until it’s Ralph’s turn.

Walter, Sylvester, Toby, Cabe, and Happy had brainstormed for months for this gift, literally months, and everybody waits in anticipation as Ralph opens up the tiny package. He frowns. “Thank you,” he says, looking confused. He looks at Paige. “Mom, what is it?”

“Ralph, it’s a remote control,” Walter explains. “Give it a try.”

And that’s when the robot they’d designed walks its way into the living room from the bathroom.

“What?!” Ralph says. “Cool!”

“You can code it to do whatever you want,” Sylvester explains.

Walter adds, “There’s a syncing feature that you can hook up to your phone – we designed an app for it.”

“And I provided the pun-of-the-day feature,” Toby says. “And it functions as a thermometer and sun lamp, if either thing is needed.”

“Toby was really upset that we couldn’t make Baymax,” Happy explains.

“It’s awesome!” Ralph says. He plays with the controls and walks the robot over to where Addie is sitting on Paige’s lap.

Addie stares at it in something that looks like either interest or horror.

Ralph makes the robot wave at her, and Addie launches herself forward to touch it so rapidly that Paige can’t catch her. Like an Olympic diver, Toby flies toward her just in time to catch Addie in his arms, and she's completely safe. Toby, on the other hand, is not as lucky – he smacks his head into the arm of the chair.

“Take the baby,” he croaks. “Oh, ow.”

Happy grabs Addie, who begins to cry at the startling event.

“I’m so sorry!” Paige says, looking terrified. “She just – I couldn’t –”

“Don’t worry about it,” Happy says, bouncing Addie. “Actually, could you check on Toby, though?” She pats Addie’s back until she calms down. "I heard him hit his head from here."

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Toby insists. He sits up and immediately loses his balance. “Oh, I’m not fine.” He lies back down on the carpet, his hand on his forehead. “If I had to guess, I’d say mild concussion.” He closes his eyes. “Oh, this is embarrassing.”

“Up you get, kid,” Cabe says, pulling Toby to sitting and helping him sit on the couch. “I’ll get you some ice.”

The rest of the afternoon consists of snacking and talking with Christmas movies in the background, Paige and Walter falling asleep together on the couch before seven thirty and Ralph and Sly competing to see who could stack more pillows on top of somebody without them falling over.

Those still awake end up putting on a marathon of Mel Brooks movies while Toby drowsily quotes every line a split second too late.

Happy, on Toby’s orders, has to keep poking Toby in the arm to make sure isn’t falling asleep, while Cabe plays with Addie.

“Having fun, Pops?” Happy asks. Toby’s leaning against her shoulder, but he’s still awake, playing some game on his phone on the lowest back light possible.

Cabe smiles softly, nodding. “She’s just so amazing,” he says quietly. “I mean, look at her.” He adjusts the onesie they’d changed Addie into, neon pink.

“We think so too,” Happy laughs. “Hey, she’s going to wake up soon and be hungry. Want to give Addie her bottle?”

Cabe lights up. “I’d love to.”

Happy’s glad she had been able to sneak away to pump when Walter and Sly got into their chess battle, because now she can half doze off while taking care of Toby while Cabe holds onto Addie.

“In the fridge,” Happy says, nodding to the kitchen.

Toby slides down, resting his head in Happy’s lap.

“No falling asleep,” Happy says, tapping him on the shoulder. “Some Harvard-trained nerd told me you aren’t allowed to sleep.”

“I’m good now,” Toby replies. “It’s been six hours.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works,” Happy says, frowning as she runs her fingers through his hair.

Toby nods, snuggling closer. “I’m a doctor, I say that’s how it works,” Toby mumbles. “I’m good, I promise.”

“In that case, we should probably head home,” Happy says, checking her watch. “Holy crap, it’s past midnight.”

Toby sits up. “It’s what?”

“Past midnight,” Happy repeats.

Toby punches the air. “Woohoo!” he exclaims. “We partied into the wee hours in the morning!”

“Partied my ass,” Cabe says, feeding Addie as he walks back into the living room. “You practically passed out.”

“Details,” Toby replies. “Hey, how’s my girl doing?”

“Eating her midnight snack like a champ,” Cabe replies, sitting back down. “You okay, Doc?”

Toby nods. “I’m good. The low light and rest was a good plan, but now I think I can sleep as long as Happy wakes me up whenever she gets up for Addie. That way I don’t slip into a coma.”

“Yeah, no comas,” Happy insists. “It’s hard enough taking care of Addie with the two of us."

Happy gathers Addie’s bag and all her new presents while Toby sits up and begins convincing himself to stand up. Addie finishes her bottle, looking unbearably adorable in Cabe’s arms.

“Are you singing Conway Twitty to our infant?” Toby asks. “Because you play that enough in the garage that I know that you’re singing Conway Twitty to our infant.”

“It’s a classic!” Cabe argues. “Besides, she likes it, don’t you, Addie?”

Addie pats the back of Cabe's hand.

Cabe looks at Toby pointedly. “See?”

Addie finishes her bottle and Cabe burps her like an expert before handing her back to Happy.

“You may get Addie duty more often, Pops,” Toby says. “She likes you.”

“Of course she does!” Cabe replies. “Babies love me.”

Happy and her family are home by one in the morning, and she’s happy she managed a nap earlier in the day. But she slides Addie in her bassinet, because the thought of getting up and walking in the night when she’s this exhausted is just terrible. And besides - she likes the idea of keeping Addie this close. At least for now. At least for the holidays.

“Merry Christmas, Happy,” Toby says, kissing her temple. “I love you.”

“Merry Concussion, Toby,” Happy replies.

Toby laughs himself to sleep.


	31. Addie, 12 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things get moved to the backburner when a baby comes, especially the home life.

“We’re what?”

Happy sits up, bleary eyed and a little exhausted as she looks at Toby. “Why are we awake?” she grumbles. “I don’t want to be awake.”

“Did you have to call at nine in the morning?” Toby groans. “Kid’s asleep, girlfriend’s asleep, I was asleep. And now 67% of us are awake.”

Happy looks over to see Toby on the phone, looking as tired as Happy feels. “Yeah, okay,” Toby says. “Five thirty. Got it. No, I’m not doing – Paige, go back to sleep.”

Toby hangs up his phone and turns to Happy. “You’re awake.”

“Yup.”

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” he says. “Paige made plans for New Year’s Eve.”

Happy groans. “Can’t our plans for New Year’s Eve be to sleep through the whole thing? I’m exhausted. Addie woke me up two extra times last night, the hungry jerk.”

“Did you just call our tiny infant a jerk?” Toby laughs. “You really are tired.”

“And you’re the jerk, too, for laughing at me,” Happy grumbles, but she curls against Toby’s chest. “Going back to sleep. Don’t talk to me until the baby starts crying.”

“Got it,” Toby says. He’s snoring in half a second, dead asleep. Happy’s eyes won’t close for longer than half a second, and her mind is whirring.

“Oh, this is the worst,” Happy groans. She sits up and pulls her hair out of her face, and realizes this is the first time in nearly 3 months she’s been on her own in silence, despite her desire to sleep. “Okay, maybe not the worst.”

She steals one of Toby’s sweatshirts and zips it up over her pajamas, going in to check Addie in her room. She’s sleeping soundly, so Happy grabs one of the pints of ice cream she’d picked up at her last trip to the grocery store. She no longer has an internal clock – that ship sailed when she started getting woken up at 11, 2, 4, and 6 every single night when she’s supposed to be asleep – so it doesn’t even feel weird to be eating ice cream in the morning. She decides to multitask, pumping a little bit so she can make Toby wake up and feed Addie for her midmorning snack.

Happy yawns as she looks outside, the morning sun bleeding into their kitchen. The apartment seems smaller now that Addie is here, but it’s a good kind of small, the sort of small that feels homey in the way she’s never had before.

She rests against the counter. There are three burp clothes in her line of sight, four onesies, and she’s pretty sure that’s a diaper on the kitchen counter. She checks – it’s a clean one.

“Somehow, that’s comforting,” Happy mutters to herself. She chucks the diaper in the basket full of baby things sitting next to their couch.

A couple more spoonfuls and Happy’s done with both pumping and ice cream, ready to go back to bed, when she peeks in and sees that Addie is still asleep in her crib.

“Oh, thank god,” Happy says. She sighs as she slides under the covers.

Addie immediately starts fussing.

“Your turn,” Happy says, poking at Toby’s side. “Bottles in the fridge. Go have fun waking up, Daddy.”

Toby groans, but Happy watches as he literally rolls out of bed, onto the floor, and then stands.

“That hurt a lot more than I was expecting,” Toby groans.

“Unsurprising,” Happy says. “Now go take care of your daughter. She’s crying and your girlfriend is sleeping.”

Toby kisses her forehead. “Love you.”

“I love you more now that you’re going into the baby’s room.” She closes her eyes. “Now let me sleep.”

Happy wakes up a few hours later, feeling surprisingly rested but a little achy in the boob area.

“Look who woke up!” Toby says, Addie sitting up in his lap. “It’s Mommy!”

Addie smiles and shoves her hand into her mouth, babbling and drooling.

“Yes, there’s that too,” Toby says. “Good morning, Mommy!”

“Morning,” Happy replies, leaning in and peppering kisses all over Addie’s face. “Hi, kiddo.” She sits up, letting Addie sit in her lap, drooling all over the place.

“Hi, beautiful,” Toby says, grinning at her. “You sleep well?”

Happy nods. “What time is it?” she asks, pulling her hair out of her face. “Nine?”

“Try eleven,” Toby corrects. “Tiny infant baby drank both of the bottles of milk in the fridge, and she’s probably hungry now.”

Happy nods. “That explains the boobs.”

“They don’t need an explanation,” Toby says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You are so weird about my breast feeding boobs,” Happy says as she stands Addie on one of her legs, letting her bounce and dance.

“Correction,” Toby says, “I am weird about everything.”

“That is also true,” Happy agrees. “What do you think, Addie, is Dad weird?”

Addie pulls her hand out of her mouth and pats Toby on the side of his face. She pulls her hand away, leaving his cheek shiny with drool. The expression Toby is wearing is something Happy would like to keep forever.

 “Yes, Addie,” Happy says, snickering, “that was the correct answer.”

“If I didn’t need a shower before,” Toby says, wiping at his cheek with the shoulder of his pajama shirt, “I definitely do now.” He leans in and kisses Addie’s forehead, then Happy’s. “Off to stand under running water!”

Addie begins making her hungry noises a moment later, so Happy feeds her, reading the novel Toby insisted she finish soon so he can talk to her about it out loud. Addie watches her intently as she reads, and it’s almost as if Addie is understanding everything being said. It’s strange, connecting with somebody who can’t even speak to her. Strange, but wonderful.

Happy’s halfway through a rather dramatic argument between the protagonist and her mother when she hears Toby’s shriek. She pauses, wondering if she should ask where that came from.

“Happy!” he says, his voice mildly distressed.

Happy sighs and puts the book down. “What?”

“Happy, we’re out of towels,” he replies. “Happy, I’m so cold.”

“I can’t do anything to help you right now,” Happy says. “Your daughter is using me as a milk machine.”

“That’s funny,” Toby says, running into the room and digging through the laundry. “Funny, but mean.” He grabs a towel and throws it around his shoulders, his hair sticking up hilariously. “Oh, that’s so much better.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “How many times, exactly, have you forgotten a towel?”

“Since Addie was born?” Toby asks. “Three times.”

Happy nods. “Correct answer.” She looks around the apartment. “Hey, this place is a mess.”

“Correct,” Toby agrees, drying himself off. “And?”

“And, I guess, we should probably fix that,” Happy explains. “Come on. We’ve got time before we need to be at the garage. Let’s get this place cleaned up.”

Toby nods. “I’ll start with the laundry.”

“Which you only want to do because you can do it with the TV on,” Happy laughs.

Toby sticks his tongue out at Happy, but he gets to work, and Addie finishes up with lunch within a few minutes.

“All better, sweetie?” Happy asks. She takes the burp cloth and cleans up Addie’s face. “You are incredibly drooly today. Work on that.”

“She’s not even three months old yet,” Toby says.

Happy shrugs, sitting Addie up to burp her. “It’s still annoying. You’re not the one stuck with milk all over you.”

“You have a point,” Toby replies. “Which of these piles is clean?”

Happy leans over, realizing she’s pulled clothes out of both piles in the past few days. “Hell if I know.”

Toby sighs, looking deflated. “I have three thousand loads of laundry to do, don’t I.”

Happy nods. “I’m stuck with dishes, so I think we’re both a little disappointed.”

“We should make a list,” Toby says, looking around. “This place is a disaster. Let me get my notebook.”

“We don’t need to write down the to-do list in your –”

“I’m getting my notebook!” Toby exclaims. Still impressively naked, Toby darts down the hallway and returns in under ten seconds. “We need to do the laundry, clean Addie’s nursery, do the dishes, put away the laundry, reorganize the furniture in the living room to make more room for Addie’s toys,” he scribbles everything down. “We probably should clean the bathroom, too.”

Happy groans. “I’ll clean the kitchen if you do the bathroom.”

Toby points to her with his pen. “Deal.” He adds that note. “And then probably we need to clean out the fridge and clean up that spot where you spilled one of Addie’s bottles.”

Happy sighs. “Yeah, that was a bad night.”

“Alright,” Toby says, ripping the sheet out of his notebook and showing it to Happy, “this is our list. We’re going to do this before the new year. Ready? Break!”

Happy peers at it. “Toby, that’s barely legible.”

“It’s fine!” Toby replies.

“You’re the stereotype of every doctor ever,” Happy deadpans. “Go get started with the laundry. Once she’s done I’ll go for the dishes.”

“Great!” Toby exclaims, going for the first shirt and pants in his reach. “Shouldn’t take us more than, what, two hours?”

Five hours. They clean the entire apartment, all five rooms and the hallway, all in five hours.

Happy collapses against the couch. “Why was that such a workout?” she asks, her breathing heavy. “Why was reorganizing the living room exhausting?”

“Because you haven’t used your abdominal muscles since your pregnancy,” Toby clarifies. “Certain core muscles –”

“That was a rhetorical question, Toby,” Happy says, pushing at his thigh with her foot. “I did not need an answer.”

“Right,” Toby says. “Sorry.” He smiles at her. “But look at this place! It’s clean! We have a clean apartment.”

“Just in time for the new year,” Happy adds.

“And very close to Addie being three months old,” Toby says, sighing. “She’s so grown up.”

“Is not,” Happy says. “She’s not grown up until I can’t pick her up anymore.”

Toby leans in and kisses her. “Hardcore mommy.”

“That doesn’t even mean anything!” Happy argues, laughing as she pokes at his stomach. She checks her watch. “Hey, aren’t we supposed to be at the garage at 5:30?”

Toby nods.

“Alright,” Happy says slowly, “then consider this. We are definitely going to be late.”

“We are?” Toby asks. “Addie’s fed, you pumped while you were folding laundry. We’re good.”

“We need to shower,” Happy clarifies.

Toby wiggles his eyebrows. “Yeah, we do.”

“Not like that, you dork,” Happy says, though the thought is appealing. “If we do that, it’ll be another four hours before we leave here.”

“Four hours, huh?” Toby asks, crawling across the couch until he’s hovering above her. Her heart races, and she has the fleeting thought that she wouldn’t mind recreating last New Year’s. “You’ve got some pretty high expectations, Hap.”

Happy shrugs, hooking a leg around Toby’s thigh and he falls on top of her. “You’ve got to up your game now.”

Toby nods. “Agreed. So,” he gestures between the two of them, “I’m going to assume we don’t have time for this.”

Happy sighs. “Half an hour is not enough time for everything I want to do to you.”

Toby’s cheeks blush pink. “Can I get a list?”

Happy sits up and kisses him, hard and deep, enough to get her head spinning, then pulls away. “Maybe later tonight,” she says. “Or soon. When we’re not late for a party.”

Toby nods. “Yeah, uh,” he looks flustered. “That sounds great.”

Happy and Toby get ready in record time, but, unsurprisingly, Addie’s fussy, a wet diaper demanding attention, and they don’t make it into the car until nearly six.

“This wasn’t supposed to be a dress up thing, right?” Happy asks, clicking Addie’s car seat in. “I mean, I’m pretty sure this outfit is the nicest thing I’ve worn in weeks, but still.”

Toby, from the front seat, says, “No idea. I doubt it. It’s just the team.”

Happy looks down at her shirt. “Well, it is nice to be wearing something that isn’t 80% covered in baby.” She looks over at Toby. “Your thoughts?”

“You look gorgeous, as always,” Toby says. He leans over and takes her hand. “Mommy’s gorgeous, Addie. That should be your first sentence.”

“Her first sentence is going to be ‘Daddy, you talk too much,’” Happy says, checking the rear view mirror as she backs up. She makes a face at Addie, and she smiles when she sees Happy in her little mirror. “I thought we’d already established that.”

“Well, I do talk too much,” Toby replies.

When Happy goes back to driving, Addie starts that little whimper that always means she’s about to lose her mind.

“Oh, no, baby girl, no crying,” Toby says. He twists and contorts himself in the front seat to reach behind and wiggle Addie’s hand. Happy can’t quite see, but she can hear the two of them. Addie is making interested squeaks while Toby responds to each squeak with a, “Wow, that’s interesting! I never thought of the Glass-Steagall act that way!” or “Well, Addie love, I’m not sure the crisis in the middle east could be solved that easily.”

“She’s a babbling infant,” Happy says, laughing at Toby. “Are you ever going to stop that?”

“It’s important to talk to babies so they learn that sentences and sounds have meaning,” Toby says for the millionth time, wiggling Addie’s foot. “This is a foot, Addie,” Toby says. “And your Mommy is driving the car. We are on a highway.”

“This is going to be the rest of our lives, isn’t it,” Happy deadpans, taking the exit to get to the garage. “Talking about everything we’re doing and narrating our lives?”

“Only until she’s around three,” Toby corrects. “Then she’ll be the one who never stops talking.”

The two of them continue their conversation with each other and with Addie until they reach the garage. Sylvester is getting out of Paige’s car as they park.

“Hey, you!” Toby shouts out the window. “We’ve got a little someone in an adorable baby outfit who’s dying to see Uncle Sly!”

“Is she in the purple party dress?” Paige asks, getting out of her car. “Please tell me she’s wearing the purple party dress.”

“She’s wearing it, but it comes off the second she starts getting pissed at the tulle,” Happy says. She picks Addie up, and the tulle is rough enough to bother Happy. “It’s awful.”

“That’s what you think,” Paige replies. “Come on. Let’s get inside.”

The garage looks completely different than usual, dressed up with candles and tablecloths and touches of Paige all over the place.

“Whoa,” Toby says, looking around. “You people went all out this time.” He looks at Happy. “Well, now we’re underdressed.”

“You are not,” Paige says. “Well,” she considers something, then pulls Toby’s hat off of his head. “That’s better.”

“I have a bunch more hidden around this place,” Toby says, running his hand through his hair. “I’ll just get a new one.”

“Don’t put on the hat,” Happy says pointedly.

Toby shoots her this surprised and amused look. “Oh, really?” He leans in. “I think you like the hat.”

“Guys, I am right behind you,” Sylvester says, sounding exasperated.

“Right,” Happy says, clearing her throat. She adjusts Addie in her arms. “So, Paige. Do we have dinner and everything? This is pretty fancy.”

Paige nods. “Walter helped.”

“I think that means we shouldn’t eat it,” Toby says. Paige smacks him on the arm while Happy tries to hide a laugh.

“Don’t be a jerk,” Happy chastens, barely holding it together. “If we get food poisoning, we’ll power through it.”

“I’d smack you, too, if you weren’t holding a baby,” Paige says, pointing at Happy. “Take your own advice. Don’t be a jerk.”

Happy nods. “We’ll try very hard not to throw up when we eat Walter’s terrible food.”

“It’s not terrible,” Paige argues.

“He only did the microwavable stuff, huh,” Toby says, looking mockingly sympathetic.

“He did the salad,” Paige corrects.

They all sit down at the table together, and Happy’s struck by the familial feel of the dinner. Addie’s sitting on Toby’s lap as he gives her a kiss on the top of the head more than he takes bites of Paige’s impressively stellar meatloaf. Sylvester and Walter are engaged in some sort of debate about a mathematical theorem while gesturing wildly with their forks. Happy and Ralph are explaining a vacuum cleaner design they draw on napkins as Paige mentions ideas that would make it the best machine.

And Cabe, as he does, walks in halfway through dinner with a big smile.

“Sorry I’m late, kids,” he says. “But I brought a friend.”


	32. Addie's First New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ringing in 2018 with old friends and champagne-induced shenanigans - the Scorpion way.

Happy scans through every possible person they’ve met and lost in the past few years. It’s a tragically large number.

And then, Cabe steps to the side to reveal Tim, who the team hadn’t seen since before they had found out Happy was pregnant. She’s thrown back to when Tim’s petition was accepted, when he’d announced he was rejoining the Navy SEALS, that he was going to leave them after six months of being part of the team. It had hurt more than Happy had expected.

“Tim!” Sly exclaims, standing up so quickly he knocks over his chair. “You’re back!”

“Hey, buddy!” Tim replies, opening his arms to hug Sylvester. Happy grins at it – Tim had brought a new energy to the team, something that made them stronger as individuals and as a team. She’s beginning to wonder if the rest of the team felt the same hole left behind when Tim went back to the SEALs.

When Tim pulls away from Sylvester, he looks over at Addie, his eyes widening hugely. “I clearly missed something over the past year,” he says. “Because that is, without a doubt, Happy’s daughter.”

“Hah!” Happy says, looking over at Toby. “I told you she looks like me.”

“She has my eyes,” Toby argues. “Tim can’t see her eyes from there.”

“Tim can’t see anything from here,” Tim clarifies. His smile becomes tentative. “Can I meet her?”

Happy nods. “Yeah, of course.” She nods over to Toby. “Bring him the baby.”

“Timothy Armstrong,” Toby says absurdly, “meet Adalyn Grace Curtis Quinn.”

Tim holds out his hand and shakes Addie’s teeny one. It’s incredibly adorable, especially when Addie leans toward him with her arms outstretched.

“Oh, hi,” Tim says, looking startled as Toby sets Addie in Tim’s arms. It’s clear he hasn’t held many babies, at least recently, but Addie takes to him without any hesitation. “Hey, kid. You’re cute.”

Addie begins drooling again.

“Got it,” Toby says, wiping Addie’s mouth. “She’s always drooling.”

Tim bounces Addie, a little unsure, but Addie rests her head on his shoulder and looks content. Tim watches her with fascination, and Happy’s a little impressed with just how fast her kid can charm the defensiveness out of anybody.

“She likes you,” Toby says. “I mean, she’s liked everybody who’s been a team member of Scorpion, but she definitely likes you.”

Tim laughs. “Well, she’s the cutest thing I’ve seen in over a year,” he says meaningfully. “As much as I love the job, the Seals don’t allow for many tiny babies in adorable dresses.”

“Fortieth percentile,” Happy corrects.

“Hmm?” Tim asks.

“She’s not that tiny,” Happy explains. “She’s fortieth percentile.”

“Thirty-eighth, now,” Toby adds. Happy shoots him a pointed look.

“No offense meant,” Tim says. His eyes turn toward the dinner table. “Also, is this Paige’s cooking?”

Toby nods.

“Then I’m suddenly very hungry,” says Tim. He settles Addie in Happy’s arms. “Back to your mom, kid.”

The room is warm and inviting and perfect, and Addie makes it until dessert is about to be served before she starts to fuss.

“And there goes the party dress,” Happy says. “I’ll be right back.”

She grabs Addie a onesie from the Addie Bag and sets her down on the makeshift changing table, tickling her tummy as she changes her diaper. And she’s a little horrified by what she’s confronted with.

“I should have given this one to your dad,” Happy grumbles. “This was the worst diaper I’ve seen in ages.”

Eventually, though, Addie is clean and dressed in the “My First Car Was Mommy” onesie that Toby insisted on buying specially made, and Happy props her so she can see everybody when they walk back into the kitchen.

“That,” Cabe says, pausing his glass of scotch halfway to his mouth, “is the most ridiculous baby outfit I’ve ever seen.”

Happy shrugs. “I’m not going to argue. Talk to Toby about this one.”

“It was funny!” Toby argues. “Tell them it’s funny, Walter.”

“What?” Walter asks. “Oh, we’re talking during dinner. Sorry, I was eating the key lime pie that Paige slaved over.”

Toby’s eyebrows sky rocket into his hairline. “Is Walter correcting me on social manners?” he asks, looking horrified. “Did he just snark at me?”

Happy pats Toby on the head. “You’ll get over it.”

Dessert turns into coffees and drinks, and eventually they move into the living room.

“So, I’m surprised you two aren’t wasted out of your minds yet,” Tim says, kicking back on the couch next to Sylvester and Cabe. “The story of your New Year’s Eve was the best thing I could have read on the flight over to –” he cuts himself off. “Well, it was a good text to get.”

Happy cannot believe that their antics from the year before made it all away across the ocean to wherever Tim had been flying to when he deployed this time last year.

 “No,” Toby laughs, “uh, we’re not doing last New Year’s Eve again.”

Happy takes a sip of the champagne as Addie sits up straight in her arms. She’s holding her head up, like it’s nothing. Apparently it’s early for a baby to be able to do this, but Happy’s not surprised. Her daughter’s a badass. “I mean, there’s parts of it I’d do again,” she mutters, trying not to look at Toby. If she meets his eyes, she’ll start giggling and choke on her champagne.

Tim chokes on his beer, beginning to laugh.

Paige looks at Toby. “Oh, no,” she says, her eyes widening. “You did not.”

Toby’s face grows pink. “What? What do you mean?” He flickers over to Happy. “I have no idea what she means, do you know what she means?”

“Way to keep your head, Doc,” Happy grumbles.

Paige points between the two of them. “When you two got blazingly drunk and went back to Happy’s apartment? That’s – ” She leans over and covers Addie’s ears. “That’s when you two made Addie?”

Sly’s expression turns into the most hilarious horror Happy’s ever seen. “I’ve spent nearly a year trying not to do that math!” he complains. “And now you do it for me, and ruin the last day of 2017.”

Happy shrugs, taking another swig of champagne. “I mean, you would have made the connection anyway. I’m pretty sure I would have said something by accident.” She nods over to Toby. “Or he would have.”

Toby nods. “Let’s be honest, it would have been me.”

Paige moves her hands from Addie’s ears. “You two got blasted on shots of Fireball, conceived your angel of a daughter, and rang in 2017 all in one night.” She sighs. “Geniuses do have more fun.”

“Yeah, we do,” Toby scoffs. Happy leans over and kicks him in the shins.

“We wouldn’t have been blasted if it wasn’t for you and Walter,” Happy says.

“What?!” Paige says. “How was that our fault?”

Happy sighs. “Because every time you looked at Walter all moony eyed, Toby took a shot, and every time Walter looked at you all moony eyed, I took a shot.”

Toby nods, holding up his glass of champagne. “Which is why, today, we’re being classy as fuck with champagne. And no shots.”

Paige shakes her head. “In that case, I’m taking credit.”

“For what?” Happy asks.

“For my beautiful Addie girl,” Paige says. She reaches out and Addie leans to her. Paige picks her up and kisses all over Addie’s nose. Addie snuggles against Paige’s shoulder as Paige holds her tight. “If it wasn’t for me and Walter being such pathetic, moony eyed idiots, she wouldn’t be here right now.” Paige presses a kiss to Addie’s nose. “And Auntie Paige could not be happier she’s here.”

Toby looks over at Happy. “She’s right.”

“I know,” Happy says.

“Addie wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for Paige and Walter being complete morons.”

Happy nods. “I know.”

Toby grabs her hand, swinging. “We have a daughter.”

“How many glasses of champagne have you had?” Happy laughs, not letting go of Toby’s hand, because she doesn’t have to, and doesn’t want to.

“What time is it?” he asks.

Happy checks her phone. “Eight thirty.”

Toby grins. “Four.”

“Four?!” Happy exclaims. “You suck. I can’t have more than two all night because I’m breast feeding.”

“Exactly!” Toy laughs. “I’m drinking for two tonight.”

Happy sighs and looks over at Addie. “Dad’s going to be weird tonight, isn’t he,” she says.

Addie smiles and drools.

“Apparently you’re going to be weird, too.” Happy sets down her flute of champagne and takes Addie. “You hungry, kiddo? It’s been at least three hours.” She takes a second to check Addie’s forehead, to look at her to see if anything’s wrong. “You seem okay.”

“She’s probably just excited,” Paige assures Happy. “I wouldn’t worry. Sometimes babies don’t follow schedules when they can sense something’s happening.”

Toby looks over at Addie. “She looks okay.”

Happy nods. “Maybe she just needs a little quiet. I’ll be right back.”

Actually, Happy is using Addie as an excuse. The previous New Year’s Eve consisted of Happy and Toby being passed out back in their apartment by this time in the night until they woke up at 11:30, and the year before that Happy had slept through the ball dropping, alone in her apartment, and had woken up to Toby’s, “Happy 2016! We’ve got a case – see you at 10!” text.

So much has changed so rapidly, but also so slowly, and she needs a few minutes with Addie to bring herself back into the moment.

“Hey, Addie,” Happy says, rocking in the modified chair she’d made one day when Addie was asleep and the day was slow. “You’re about to have your first New Year. How do you feel?”

Addie closes her eyes, fingers curling onto Happy’s thumb.

“Me too,” Happy laughs. “Pretty much always.” She rocks silently for a few moments, Happy losing herself in her thoughts.

“One year ago,” Happy says quietly, “you became real. Can you believe that?” Addie’s already sleeping, her breathing steady and slow. “I still forget you’re real sometimes.”

Happy talks to Addie and rocks her for some time, until Toby walks into the room with a small smile and says, “Hey, Paige turned on the TV and Cabe brought out some pretty awesome snacks.” He looks down. “She fell asleep?”

Happy nods. “She’s not sick, is she?” They barely let her around any strangers, just the occasional person who shows up looking for help in the garage, but even then she never comes in contact with them. And nobody at the garage has been sick since she was born.

Toby kneels in front of them, eyes level with Addie. “Hey, baby girl,” he says in a tiny voice, soft as satin, “you’re just sleepy, aren’t you?” He presses his lips to her forehead, and she immediately wakes up. “Were you faking, little one?”

Addie reaches out and grabs at his nose.

“You’re going to drive us insane,” Toby laughs. He looks up at Happy. “I think she’s fine, Hap. I really do. She’s just a little off schedule today.”

Happy nods. “Okay,” she says, smiling at Toby. “I’ve just never done this before.”

Toby kisses her forehead. “Neither have I, if you haven’t forgotten,” he says, waggling his eyebrows.

Addie starts fussing.

“See? She’s only an hour off for dinner. Nothing to worry about.”

Toby and Happy chat for some time as Addie has her late dinner, Toby fetching without words a glass of water for Happy, and they leave the Addie Space just in time to see Paige and Sylvester dancing to some incredibly high energy electro pop song, something that Toby immediately recognizes and starts dancing to. It takes split second for Happy, but she recognizes it too.

“This is that song that samples Etta James, right?” Happy asks, Addie asleep on her shoulder.

“I like how that’s the one detail you remember,” Paige says, “other than the fact that it was one of the greatest dance hits to ever make it huge on the radio.”

“Not true!” Toby replies, doing his weird wiggle dance as Paige turns the volume up. “Everytime We Touch. Cascada in 2005. That was my jam when I was at my first practice.”

“I still can’t believe you had your first practice that young,” Paige says.

Toby scoffs. “I know, right? I didn’t even have half of a developed frontal lobe, and these people were putting me in charge.” He reaches out a hand to Happy. “Dance with me?”

She points to Addie. “Sleeping infant,” she replies.

“I’ll take her,” says Sylvester. He’d been quiet for most of the night, as he often is when holidays appear, but he’d been bright and joyful since the song came on. “I’m wiped, anyway. I’m not as good of a dancer when I’m not with Megan.” Happy watches the light fade from his eyes for half a second, but it comes back when she settles Addie in his arms. He sits on the couch, looking at her with part intrigue and part love.

Happy can’t imagine what she’s done to earn Addie, but she’s glad that her daughter has such a huge family who loves her with such unfailing passion.

She’s pulled from her thoughts when Toby takes her hand and spins her like he knows how to dance, like he’s got any idea of how to do this.

“You can hardly dance to slow songs,” she laughs as he dips her. “What makes you think you’ve got any skill with this club music?”

“I used to be a hit at the bars,” Toby says, swiveling his hips. “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe it, but it’s true.”

“I don’t believe it,” says Paige, joining in on their dance party. Walter walks in from the kitchen with that pinched look on his face that he gets when he doesn’t quite understand something. Happy steps away and lets Paige and Toby try to cajole Cabe into dancing.

“Hey,” she says to Walt. “You okay?”

He nods. “I’m just studying our dynamic,” he says. “I’m profoundly impacted by the way our family has grown and improved over the years.”

“Ditto,” Happy says.

Walter looks at her. “I’ve been thinking about it recently,” Walter says, and it’s clear he’s choosing his words carefully, “but I think we have three very specific points of success in this team’s history. And two of them are all because of you.”

“Well that’s flattering,” Happy says, trying not to feel too pleased with herself. “Care to share?”

“I do,” Walter says, and it’s then that Happy sees the slight glassy shade to his eyes.

“You’ve had champagne, haven’t you,” she says, trying not to laugh at him.

He nods. “Paige and I occasionally indulge,” he admits. “And tonight felt like an appropriate evening for libations.”

“You could just call it booze, like a normal person,” Happy explains. “That’s a thing normal people do.”

“We’ve never been normal,” he says with a smile, and he’s joking. Walter O’Brien, joking.

“Those three data points?” Happy asks, because she’s genuinely curious to know what Walter is thinking.

He nods. “Well, the first one is when you pulled me out of the rabbit hole and triggered my removal of Collins,” he explains. “Prior to that, I think we were far more unstable than any of us had realized.”

“You think?” Happy asks. The music coming from the TV has changed to something Latin-infused, and Paige is trying to teach Toby how to tango. It’s going surprisingly well. “Toby was a gambling, drinking mess, Sylvester was still doing his three times washing thing, I spoke in three words sentences half the time, and you and Collins were hardly humans.”

“I see your point,” Walter says. “However, I’m trying to express my gratitude for your involvement – integral part – in saving this team.”

“You’re welcome,” Happy says. “And the other two points?”

“Paige, obviously,” Walter says. Happy follows his gaze and watches it change into something surprisingly soft as he looks at Paige, and it’s clear he loves her. Less than a year they’ve been together and already Happy knows they’re not going anywhere. She and Walter are more alike than Happy would ever want to admit – once they lock onto a person, it’s forever. They’re not going to let go. “She saved this team.”

“So, what I’m hearing,” Happy says, picking up a cracker from the table, “is that Paige and I completely saved all your asses, because you wouldn’t have been able to take care of this team on your own.” She grins at him. “I could see that.”

Walter rolls his eyes. “If you’re going to be petulant, I’m not going to say the last one.”

“Easy,” Happy says. “When Addie was born.”

Walter frowns. “I was thinking farther back in our timeline, to when you and Toby got together. That sparked an ability for the team to function with changing dynamics.”

Happy shrugs one shoulder. “Not really. I think it was more important when Addie was born. Toby and I kind of grew up.”

“No more getting, what was Paige’s word, blasted on New Year’s?” Walter asks. There’s a hint of a smile on his lips.

Happy punches him in the arm. “Hey, my drinking’s never sabotaged the grand opening of a building.”

“Touche,” Walter replies.

Toby darts over. “You two done with your genius chat?” he asks, gesturing between the two of them. “Because I have to try tangoing with you. It’s not sexy when I’m dancing with Paige.”

“I don’t know if that was sweet or if I should be offended,” Happy laughs. “But, no. I’m tired.”

“No falling asleep!” Toby says, his eyes bright.

Happy nods. “No, I’m not sleeping,” she replies. “Not at all. I just sort of – I want to rest.”

She settles on the couch next to Sly, who is holding Addie so carefully and gently it sends a spark through Happy’s heart.

“You are so sweet with her,” Happy says. “You love your Uncle Sly, don’t you Addie Grace?”

Addie, who had woken up sometime in Sly’s arms, smiles up at Happy.

“Oh, you know you’re too cute,” Happy says. “It’s not fair. You just completely took over with your cuteness.”

“That’s her job,” Sylvester says, beaming down at her. “She’s automatically going to take over with her cuteness. Just wait until she can talk.”

Happy groans. “Oh, god, we’ll never get a minute’s rest again. We’ll be arguing with a toddler over everything.”

“Think she’s going to be a genius?” Sylvester asks.

Happy stares at him.

“Not that she has to be,” Sly says, adjusting Addie’s blanket so she can grab at it. “Just – I’m a little worried if we have a genius toddler who’s this cute running around. She’ll snow all of Homeland to shut down Disney World for her or something.”

“Now that,” Happy replies, “is something Toby Curtis’ child would do.”

“What about me?” Toby asks, leaning over the side of the couch. “I heard my name.”

“We were talking about how your child would take over the world,” Sylvester replies.

“That sounds like a compliment,” Toby says, jumping over the arm of the couch to sit next to Happy. “She’s too smart for all of us, isn’t she?”

“And too cute,” Sylvester adds.

Sylvester gets up to grab a snack a moment later, so Toby takes Addie. Happy decides to say screw it to all of her rules of affection at work and settles her head against his shoulder.

“Falling asleep?” Toby asks.

Happy shakes her head, yawning. “Just resting,” she replies, running her fingertips along Addie’s blanket.

She doesn’t know what time it is when Toby’s hand rests on her shoulder as he says, “Hap, babe, it’s nearly the New Year. Wake up.”

“Don’t call me babe,” Happy repeats, almost automatically. “What?”

“You’ve been out for almost two hours,” he says. “Addie fell asleep basically when you did. Actually,” Toby looks around. “Everybody but me and Walter fell asleep.”

Happy sits up, yawning. “Really?”

Walter smiles at her from across the room. Paige’s head is pillowed on his leg and her legs are thrown over a snoring Sylvester’s lap.

“That is both funny and adorable,” Happy says, gesturing over to them. She looks a little farther to see Tim, curled up surprisingly small like a cat, against the side of the couch.

“Wait until you get a load of Cabe,” Toby whispers.

“What do you –”

Happy follows where Toby is pointing to see Cabe half sliding out of a chair, his mouth open as he snores like a chainsaw.

“We need a picture of that,” Happy says, trying to contain her amusement.

“Already done,” Toby says, wiggling his phone. “I captioned it ‘hashtag grandpa problems’.”

Happy laughs loudly enough to startle Paige, who wakes up.

“Ralph?” she says before blinking. “Right. Sleepover.” She settles back down, and then her eyes fly open again. “Did I fall asleep on New Year’s Eve?”

Happy nods. “Most of us did.”

“Except for the boys,” Toby says, nodding to Walter. “We’re the real party animals.”

Happy rolls her eyes, leaning against Toby’s shoulder. “How long until the ball drops?”

“Twenty minutes,” Toby replies, playing with Happy’s hair. “Ready for Addie’s first new year?”

Happy nods, looking down at the sleeping infant in Toby’s arms. “I am, but I don’t think she is.”

Toby smiles down at Addie. “Hey, I’ve got an idea.”

“Shoot,” Happy says, stretching.

He nods over to Tim and Cabe. “Want to see how many pillows and blankets we can stack on top of them before they wake up?”

“You’re a genius,” Happy says seriously.

Toby hands Addie off to Paige, who tries whispering about how immature they’re being, and Happy is way more entertained than she should be. She grabs a bunch of pillows from all over the place, layering them on top of Tim. He starts to resemble more of a mattress than a human being before long, but Cabe looks even more ridiculous when Toby settles a pillow on his stomach and he starts to look pregnant.

“I’m so winning this,” Toby whispers from across the room. “I made Cabe pregnant.”

“This is the second person you’ve gotten pregnant on New Year’s Eve,” Paige says, laughing. “Oh. I said that out loud.”

“You’ve had a lot of champagne,” Walter says, patting the side of Paige’s head.

Paige nods, dropping her head to Walter’s shoulder. “So much champagne,” she mutters.

“Hey, I know you guys are pretty involved with this pillow stacking stupidity,” Sylvester says. Happy jumps – she hadn’t realized he was awake, “but it’s about five minutes from the New Year and I have a feeling you people want to pay attention to this.”

“Do we wake them up?” Toby asks, frowning.

Happy shrugs. “I don’t know. It could be entertaining to see how long they last.”

“You two are seven year olds,” Sly says. “Tim. Cabe. Wake up.”

No response.

“They’re not dead, are they?” Paige asks, frowning.

They all turn to look at her.

“So much champagne,” she mumbles, dropping her head onto Walter’s shoulder. Addie blinks her eyes open, looking around the room. “Hey, Addie girl,” Paige says.

Toby grins. “I have an idea.”

“Is this a champagne induced idea?” Happy asks. “Or is it actually a decent idea?”

Toby picks up Addie and tickles her tummy. She giggles and coos, making the entire room awe.

“What?” Cabe says, sitting up. Pillows and blankets fly everywhere. “What’s happening?” He looks around. “The hell did you people do to me?”

“Toby got you pregnant on New Year’s Eve,” Happy explains, pointing to the pillow on his stomach. “Welcome to the club.”

Cabe gives her a look. “I liked you better before Toby influenced you.” He mumbles. “I miss the ball dropping?”

“Nope,” Toby replies. “Baby giggle was your wakeup alarm.”

“Smart,” Cabe replies. He glances over at Tim. “Kid’s still asleep.”

“It is our gift to you to wake him up in whatever hilarious manner you see fit,” Toby announces. He bounces Addie when she yawns. “Got any ideas?”

Cabe walks over. “Tim, it’s almost midnight. Wake up.”

Tim attempts to sit up and immediately gets buried by all the precariously perched pillows. “What the hell?”

“That was Happy’s fault,” Toby says, grinning at Happy as he falls onto the couch.

Happy rolls her eyes. “But I totally won this. Tim’s stuck in blankets – I planned ahead with the construction.”

“Guys, shut up, it’s the countdown!”

Happy wordlessly reaches over and takes Addie, rocking her as they watch the TV count down the last few seconds of 2017. Happy thinks about the year they’ve had – she got pregnant, had to make some of the most difficult decisions of her life, and ended up having a daughter whose existence could quite possibly be the most important part of Happy’s life. 2017 had been a whirlwind, and Happy counts down the final ten seconds, ready for it to be over and to start up the next year.

Addie babbles along with them as they count down, and when everyone shouts, “Happy New Year!” Addie squeals with delight. Toby leans in and kisses Happy then Addie.

“Happy New Year, my girls,” he says, smiling at the two of them.

“Welcome to 2018, Addie Grace,” Happy says, sitting Addie up in her lap. “It’s going to be awesome.”


	33. Addie, 13 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The problem with Beijing returns - and the case expands.

“You’re just the prettiest little thing in the world, Adalyn,” Cabe says, looking like a natural with an infant resting against his shoulder. Addie’s got the most content smile on her lips as she rests against him, looking around the room with fascination. Cabe looks up at Happy and Toby. “You two better be careful or I’ll steal her for myself.”

“That’s what my dad said,” Happy comments. “Maybe you people will have a Grandpa playdate sometime.”

Cabe points at her with his free hand. “Hey. I’m Pops. I’m too young to be a Grandpa.”

Toby walks up behind him and tickles Addie. She coos and giggles as Toby bops her on the nose. “You’re, like, ten years older than Patrick,” Toby replies. When he tries to walk away, Addie makes a pathetic whimpering noise until Toby takes her, and then she settles. “You’re so old, it’s almost sad.”

Addie coos again, grasping at Toby’s shirt with a massive smile.

“Aw, come on, kiddo,” Cabe says, letting Addie grab onto her finger. “Your dad’s being a jackass again.”

“Language around the infant,” Toby says, rubbing Addie’s back. “How many times do I have to repeat this?”

“She’s not going to remember this,” Happy says. “Besides, when I was pregnant, you said all sorts of ridiculous things that we definitely don’t want her repeating. It’ll be a while before we have to worry.”

“Not that long,” Toby says, “because our baby genius might be talking at seven months!” He tickles Addie’s tummy.

“I’m not even sure if that’s true,” Happy says, frowning. “Is that even possible?”

Toby shrugs. “I’m in psych, not peds. But I can ask the pediatrician.”

“Not important,” Happy replies. She dawdles her way over to her work bench, fiddling with her latest project. “Anything interesting today?”

“Cooper said something about Merrick,” Cabe says.

Happy turns. “Merrick?” she asks. “Isn’t that old news?”

He shrugs. “Apparently some further contact has been made between Beijing and members of the government. Cooper wants us to look into it.”

“Undercover work?” Toby asks, looking elated. “Could I go under as a dashing single dad looking for love?”

Happy playfully socks him in the arm not holding Addie.

“Hey!” Toby exclaims in his Addie voice. “Mommy, no hitting Daddy. That’s mean.”

“Daddy’s being a dumbass,” Happy says to Addie, kissing her nose. Addie reaches out and grabs a handful of Happy’s hair. “Oh, of course.”

It takes a few moments to get herself untangled, and by that point Cooper’s walked in with a massive file in her hands.

“What I’m about to tell you is classified,” she says firmly.

“Can the baby stay?” Toby asks. “Because we’re still not sure if she’s a Russian spy or not.”

“Only if I get to say hi,” Cooper says, shooting a look asking for permission at Happy.

“Of course,” Happy replies. “Hey, Addie Grace, want to go say hi to Director Cooper?”

“Oh, she can call me Kate,” Cooper says as Toby rests Addie in her arms. Addie smiles up at her, and Cooper looks so damn delighted Happy almost laughs.

“Can I call you Kate?” Toby jokes.

“You cannot,” Cooper says firmly, tucking the blanket around Addie’s shoulder. Addie grabs at Cooper’s tie. “Anyway. There have been some concerns related to Merrick’s involvement in Beijing. From what we can tell, the files that Happy found months ago weren’t sent from Beijing to taunt us, they were sent from someone in Homeland to report back to Beijing.”

“So there are other people involved in this?” Happy asks. Addie leans down and mouths at Cooper’s thumb where it holds her up. “Oh, Addie, no –”

“No worries,” Cooper says with a smile as Addie gums along her finger. “I have three girls of my own – this is nothing new to me.” She grins at Addie. “You do whatever you want, cutie. And, yes,” Cooper says, returning to the team. “That information Happy found was incredibly concerning. The president decided to assign a special task force to this problem.”

“Us?” Toby asks, lighting up. “Do I get to meet the president now?”

“No,” Cooper says. “Because we can’t allow any of you to stick out. You people are our task force, alongside Cabe, Molina, and myself.”

“Seriously?” Paige asks. “Nobody but us is involved.”

Cooper nods. “They couldn’t trust anyone else. Honestly, I think the only reason the president has allowed this to be handled in-house is because we can trust this team.”

“The president trusts us,” Toby says, looking giddy.

“What is with you and the president?” Walter asks.

Toby shrugs. “I’m a patriot. So sue me.”

Cooper explains the outline of the mission until Addie begins to fuss and turn pink.

“And, the temper tantrum begins,” Happy sighs. “Give her to me.”

Addie begins to settle once she’s in Happy’s arms, and Happy takes her to the Addie Space, closing the curtains. “Is this a diaper thing, or a hungry thing?” She checks Addie’s diaper. “Hungry thing. Got it.”

Happy feeds Addie while the rest of the team talks, but being out of the loop annoys her enough that she grabs the blanket cover Paige bought her “because you’ll need it eventually” and throws it around her shoulders. It takes a moment to adjust Addie underneath it so she doesn’t freak out, but it works. Happy manages to make it to the chair next to the team without jostling Addie too badly and sits down to a bunch of surprised stares.

“What?” she asks. “You want to keep talking or should I ask what the plan is?”

Walter blinks. He looks like he’s desperately fighting the urge to be uncomfortable.

“As I was saying,” Cooper says, she and Paige being the only ones who didn’t look startled, “this bar’s got our best chance to get a bug on their back room or, even better, on one of the guys who meets back there.”

“Simple,” Happy says. “When I was eighteen I designed a bug that’s about the size of Addie’s pinkie toe,” she shows them Addie’s unreasonably adorable toes. “I can definitely redesign to make them smaller. It’ll be easy.”

“Go for at least five,” Cooper suggests. “We want to get the best picture of their conversations, and we can’t risk planting one bug in the room and having it get compromised.”

Happy shrugs. “Then I’ll do six. Easy.”

“So who’s going undercover?” Paige asks, Instead of looking curious, she looks skeptical. That in and of itself worries Happy a little bit.

“Undercover?” Happy asks. “Can’t we just plant the bugs in the bar during the day?”

Walter shakes his head. “The place is open 24/7. We can’t risk anybody knowing what we’re doing. We have to send people in for a night with fake identifies so they won’t be targeted.”

Happy frowns. “I’m not sure I’m following.” But she’s definitely following – and doesn’t want to be.

That’s when Cooper frowns. “Well, the bar hires only female bartenders. It’s a real man’s bar. And with the bugs being such delicate technology –”

Happy groans. “I’m going undercover as a sleazy bartender so I can plant the bugs, aren’t I?” she whines.

Cooper smiles apologetically. “If it’s any consolation, we’ll be sending Paige in with you.”

“You are?” Paige asks, looking befuddled. “When did we decide on this?”

“It was less decided and more implied,” Walter says comfortingly. “And, plus, it’ll be okay. You’re always great undercover.”

Paige rolls her eyes, just a little bit. “Thank you for that moral support, honey.”

The rest of the afternoon is brainstorming the timeline – when to plant the bugs, what the undercover mission is going to look like, and Happy zones out when she starts mentally constructing the new, smaller design for the bugs.

“Happy?”

Happy shakes her head, looking up at Cooper. The entire team is looking at her, confused.

“What?” Happy asks.

“We’ve been trying to talk to you about the plan for, like, a minute now,” Toby says. “You kind of zoned out for a minute there.”

She shrugs. “I was redesigning the bugs in my head. Did we make any progress with the undercover idea?”

Walter, Paige, and Cabe exchange a look.

“So that’s a no,” Happy says. “Look, it’s six at night. Do we have to keep talking in circles or can I leave this waste of time?”

Cooper raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“My excuse for that is sleep deprivation and a universal lack of regard for authority,” Happy replies.

Toby starts to laugh, then poorly covers it with a cough.

“She’s got a point,” Paige says, frowning. “We have two weeks before we’re going undercover. I’m going to spend that time trying to remember how to mix drinks.”

“Oh, we’ve got two weeks?” Happy asks. “Good to know. Yeah, I can build the bugs in two weeks.” She stands up, Addie resting against her shoulder. “See you guys tomorrow?” She doesn’t wait for anybody to respond. “Okay, good.” Addie start snuffling a tiny bit, so Happy starts rocking from side to side, trying desperately to rock the baby back into sleep.

“I like her idea,” Sylvester says. “Walter and I have that meeting about Megan’s scholarship in an hour, and I want to prepare my presentation.”

“Shouldn’t I be presenting?” Walter asks, following Sylvester out of the garage. “Seeing as I made the powerpoint?”

The rest of the conversation is lost as the two of them leave the garage.

“Well,” Paige says. “That was rapid.” She checks her watch. “I’ve got to go pick Ralph up from his Robotics club meeting.” She smiles at Cooper. “I’ll practice my bartending skills. And I’ll try to see what kind of outfits I still fit into from my early twenties.”

“Early twenties?” Toby asks.

Paige nods. “That’s when I was a bartender. The first time.”

“There’s a story there,” Toby says, eyeing her face. He yawns. “But that can wait.”

“Yes, it can,” Paige insists. She throws her purse over her shoulder. “Goodnight, everyone.”

Cooper turns to Toby, Happy, and Cabe. “Do you three have any further questions?”

“Nope,” Toby replies. “Sleep deprivation hits Dad too.”

~

When they get home, Addie’s woken up again and Toby immediately goes to change her diaper.

“Uh oh,” Toby says.

“What uh oh?” Happy asks as Addie starts wailing.

He frowns. “Doctor’s diagnosis of diaper rash,” he sighs. “Go get the butt cream.”

“I still have no idea why they named it that,” Happy replies, handing the tube of ointment to Toby.

“It’s a way for diaper rash to give parents a slight laugh while their child screams,” Toby replies. Addie’s wails grow more miserable, and Toby shushes her. “You’re okay, baby girl.” He puts on her diaper and wraps her up in her purple blanket, resting her against his shoulder. Addie flails in misery and ends up bonking her head just enough against Toby’s hat that it flies off.

“Hah, see?” Happy says. “The hat’s stupid. Even your daughter thinks so.”

Toby frowns. “I like the hat.”

Happy grabs it off the floor and throws it out into the hallway. “I don’t.”

“It gives me character!” Toby argues, bouncing Addie until she calms herself. Her tears turn to tiny, pathetic snuffles. “And Addie clearly agrees with me.”

“Does not!” Happy replies, sitting down in the rocking chair. “She just temper tantrum’d the hat off your head.”

Toby glares at her and leans down, picking up the hat and putting it back on his head. “Well, now it’s back on,” he says pointedly.

They move into the living room and collapse on the couch, and, when they put on their millionth viewing of Pacific Rim, Addie settles down.

“Now, Addie,” Toby says, “this movie may appear to be a mindless robot vs. dinosaur movie, but this film is really about human ingenuity and the ability of people to come together, despite their differences, to save the world.”

“And, you know,” Happy says, letting Addie sit up next to her in the weird little plastic seat Toby bought a few weeks back. “Robots versus dinosaurs.”

Addie’s lost all interest in what anyone is saying, squishing at the toys. She pats her hands on the side of the seat, looking incredibly interested in the plastic.

“That’s called sensory stimulation,” Toby says, leaning in close and kissing the top of Addie’s head. “You are the smartest, most curious little baby in the world, aren’t you?”

That’s when Addie giggles at him.

Toby’s expression is such excitement that it’s almost cartoonish. “Did my baby just giggle at my hat?” he exclaims, leaning down and picking her up from her little seat on the couch. “Did my sweet girl just laugh?”

Addie flaps her arms, smacking Toby directly in the face.

“Nice, aim, Addie,” Happy laughs. She kisses Addie’s cheek. “Next time hit his hat off his head, okay?”

“Look at that!” Toby says, clearing ignoring Happy’s crack about his hat. He’s holding Addie so she’s level with his shoulder. “Our girl’s got great head control for her age and an early giggle.” He beams at Happy. “Remember that time we had a baby genius.”

Happy leans in and kisses Addie’s cheek. “Good job, kiddo,” she says quietly. “Give me the baby.”

“What? No,” Toby says, pouting. “I want my giggling baby.”

“Uh, she’s also my giggling baby,” Happy replies, and she can’t fight the smile on her face. It’s stupid, they’re being stupid, but this is fantastic and fun and she never knew a family could feel like this.

Toby reaches out and pulls Happy close, kissing her unexpected. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Happy says. “Any reason, right now?”

“Because,” Toby says, an arm resting around Happy’s waist, “you and me and Addie are living the dream. I get the family I’ve always dreamed of, and you,” Toby kisses Addie’s cheek a few times, and she giggles again, “are the brightest little baby out there.”

Happy rests her head against Toby’s shoulder. “She really is,” she mutters.

That’s when Addie yawns so hugely that she loses control of her head and flops backward. Happy reaches out and blocks her, catching her back before anything bad can happen.

“I think,” Toby says, “our child is sleepy.”

“You got that right,” Happy replies. Toby lets Addie slide into Happy’s arms. “She nearly took a dive onto the carpet.”

“But we are so glad you didn’t, Addie love,” Toby says. “But it’s definitely time for you to have a last snack before bed and then go to sleep.”

Addie fusses in Toby’s arms until Happy manages to eat a granola bar before she herself starts crying from hunger. The only reason she doesn’t forget to eat more is because she sees Addie eat, and it makes her absurdly hungry.

“My whole schedule revolves around hers,” Happy mumbles as Addie has her dinner. Toby’s running his fingers through Happy’s hair as she leans against his shoulder, the length of the day at work starting to get to her. It seems to have gotten to Addie, too – she dozes off within seconds of finishing up, and doesn’t even wake up when Happy sets her in Toby’s arms.

“Put her to sleep for me?” she asks. “I need the biggest glass of water in history.”

“As you wish,” Toby says.

“We’re not in Princess Bride,” Happy calls after him. She herself some water, drinking it lazily because she doesn’t have to be in a rush, because she’s tired, and because they have the time. She closes her eyes and listens as Toby sings to Addie, something quiet. The lyrics don’t ring through the apartment, but the melody does, so Happy concentrates hard.

“Oh, my god,” she groans, “and I thought Scorpions was bad.” Toby’s doing a terrible job of warbling his way through All Star, a song that haunted the halls of Happy’s middle school years, and she has to laugh. She giggles all the way through making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, especially as Toby starts singing Britney Spears.

Happy’s draining the last of her glass when Toby walks into the kitchen.

“She’s so cute when she’s sleeping,” he says. “How did we end up with such a cute baby?”

Happy shrugs. “Sheer dumb luck?”

“Okay,” Toby says, stepping toward her. She reaches out and pulls him close with a handful of his shirt. “The correct answer there was, ‘Toby, the love of my life, you are so gorgeous and devastatingly handsome that there was no way our child would be anything but equally or more gorgeous’.”

Happy shrugs. “No. I’m pretty sure the correct answer was ‘sheer dumb luck.’”

“So what are your thoughts on this case?” Toby asks, stealing a bite of her sandwich. “Planting bugs in a bar? That’s very 90’s spy flick.”

“Considering I’m going undercover as a bartender who could basically double as a stripper, I’d say it’s more a 70’s porn plot,” Happy mumbles. “And stop eating my sandwich. If you want food, make your own.”

Toby pouts. “Not even a bite?”

Happy shakes her head. “Nope.” She takes another bite. “Mine.”

He sighs and steps away. “My peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are better than yours, anyway,” he says pointedly.

“Excuse me!” Happy argues. “Mine are perfect! You put so much jelly on it that it pours out the sides. It’s gross.”

“It’s the correct way,” Toby says, gesturing to her with his spoon.

“You put it on the bread with a freaking spoon?” she asks. “Well that, explains it. You’re supposed to use a butter knife, weirdo.”

“I will be making our daughter her lunches,” Toby decides. “And you need to be better at making things standard if you’re going to be a bartender.”

“I tended bar for 3 years after I dropped out of high school,” Happy corrects. “In between my time at the chop shops, that is. I can make a drink.”

“More than just eight shots of whiskey in an hour?” Toby asks. “Because that’s not making a drink. That’s a straight up mistake.”

“A fun mistake,” Happy corrects. “That was the night we got Walter on video singing David Bowie. That was the best idea we’ve ever had.”

“The last time you said you had ‘the best idea you’d ever had’ you ended up pregnant,” Toby laughs, slapping his sandwich together.

“Yeah,” Happy replies. “Clearly, my best ideas are fantastic and turn out fantastic for everyone involved.”

Toby shrugs. “I guess you’re right.”

They finish their sandwiches in silence, but Happy knows the way Toby’s looking at her. It’s something she’s deliciously familiar with, something she knows he’s been holding back on because they haven’t had the time or energy. But they don’t have to be at work until nine tomorrow morning to start the work on the bugs, and Addie’s asleep.

She grins, walking to him slowly. “Hey, listen.”

Toby stops, mid sip of water. “Yeah?”

“Nothing,” she says. “No noise. And we don’t have to worry about work calling us in tomorrow morning, because we already have a case.”

Toby nods, setting his glass down. “I know. I’ve been thinking about that case.” He steps toward her. “Is it weird that I think the idea of you going undercover in a bar kind of hot?” He settles his hands on Happy’s hips. “I mean, you’re always hot,” he says, and she doesn’t miss the hungry way he looks her up and down. She tries not to be too pleased about his gaze. “But is it weird I find you hotter now than before you had Addie?”

“Probably,” Happy says, stepping closer to him. “My stomach is still all weird and squishy.”

“Okay, just because, for the first time since, like, middle school you don’t have flat abs,” Toby says, with an eye roll. “You’re gorgeous regardless.”

Happy smirks. “You should probably prove that.”

“Prove what?” Toby says. “That you’re gorgeous? I can tell you again, if you want.”

Happy sighs. “You’re oblivious.” She stands on her toes and settles her hand on the back of his neck, dragging him down to kiss him. It doesn’t take him long at all to get the hint, wrapping his hands around her back and pulling her flush against him. She makes a half moan in the back of her throat. She’s missed this so goddamn much, this heat that they have. It’s not gone, it’s just tamped down because of the exhaustion and their new roommate, and she’s got plenty of time before Addie wakes up again.

“Come on,” she says, pulling away with a smile. “We’re going to bed.”

“Seriously?” Toby says. “Because I’ve got some great ideas. Like, I’ve be doing research.” He walks her backward against the wall. “I’ve got moves.”

Happy feels a thrill run up her spine as Toby kisses her again. They cuddle against each other every night, but the way she’s pressed against him right now is so different, so much more heated than anything else.

“This,” she says, “isn’t the bed.”

Toby considers it. “You’re right.” He picks her up like it’s nothing, his hands on her thighs as she wraps her legs around his waist.

“When have you had time to work out?” Happy asks. “I barely even get to sleep.”

“Baby pushups,” Toby explains as they collapse to the bed. “Whenever Addie won’t go back to sleep after I change her diaper, I do pushups where I kiss her nose.” He grins at her. “I can do fifty in a row now.”

“That’s adorable,” Happy says. “Why are you hotter now that you’re a dad?”

“You want the snarky reason or the biological reason?” Toby asks, his thumbs rubbing circles into the skin of her hips.

“Either,” Happy says.

“Snarky, is because I get hotter every time you look at me,” he leans down and kisses along her jawline, dragging his lips along the shell of her ear. Happy can hardly hold back her sigh of pleased relief. She’d expected to be more worried, more hesitant. But this is Toby and, god, does he know how to take care of her. “Biological, it’s because you know me as the father of your child and my well being means Addie’s.”

“Not as hot when you’re doing doctor talk,” Happy replies. She hooks a leg around his and flips them, pinning Toby to the mattress.

“What about if I start talking about how much I love you,” he murmurs, his hands sliding up her shirt. “Or maybe,” he reaches behind to unhook Happy’s bra, “I could tell you about how sexy you are, how much I want you all the time.”

“That works,” Happy decides. She leans down to kiss Toby, and the way his hands slide along her skin sets her on fire, makes her desperate for more of him. Toby spends twenty minutes going down on her, getting her off three times, and she’s desperate for more before long.

“You are dragging things out on purpose, and that’s rude,” Happy says.

He has a strange expression on his face. “Remember that thing that happened last time?”

“What thing?” Happy asks. She looks down at herself. “The – oh, shit.”

“Oxytocin –”

“I know,” Happy says. She reaches down and uses her shirt to wipe herself off. “This is the stupidest part of having a baby, by the way.”

Toby quirks an eyebrow.

“Okay, waiting thirteen weeks before I could nail you again was annoying, too,” Happy agrees.

Toby rolls his eyes. “You could say make love to me,” he says.

“I could,” Happy says, “but I won’t.”

“And, I’m dragging this out so you’re not uncomfortable,” he says, kissing her neck. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Happy pulls him to kiss her. His hands settle on either side of her face. “Thanks for being so sweet,” she says.

He smiles at her, kissing her forehead. “Any time.”

It’s a little weird, at first, as Happy expected. Different that it had been. But it’s her and Toby, and before long she knows they’ll get their rhythm back together again.

“Ah, look,” Toby says, kissing her shoulder as he falls next to her. “You need a towel. Again.”

“I do not,” Happy says. “I – okay, yeah, I do.”

“I’ll grab a towel for you,” Toby says, smiling at her. He’s up and in the bathroom in seconds, and Happy has the fleeting thought that his butt would probably glow in the dark if they tried that experiment. “Here you go,” he says, “mother of my child, most beautiful woman in the world.”

“That would be more romantic if you weren’t handing me a face cloth that I’m using to wipe breast milk off my chest,” Happy mentions. “And throw me one of your tee shirts. I’m cold.”

Toby throws a shirt to Happy. “January should not be allowed to be this cold,” he muses. He pulls on a pair of pajama pants and a tank top, settling next to Happy. “You okay?”

Happy nods. “Grab the blanket and I’ll be fine.”

Toby sighs. “Okay, not what I meant.”

Happy turns to him, confused. “The doctor cleared me, like, six weeks ago. The only reason I didn’t jump your bones then was time restraints. I promise,” she pats his cheek, “I’m good.” She breaks into a grin. “Really good.”

He sighs, looking relieved. “Oh, thank god,” he says, collapsing against the pillows. “I didn’t learn any new moves. That was a seduction technique to make you think I’m better now than I was before you were pregnant.”

Happy laughs. “Wouldn’t it have been smarter to tell me you’d forgotten all your moves to lower my expectations, and then blown my mind with your normal stuff?”

Toby stares at her. “When did you learn how to manipulate people?” he asks. “Never mind. Just use your powers for good instead of evil.” He blinks. “And I blew your mind?”

“I haven’t gotten laid like that since month seven. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” Toby says. “That time when you were eight months pregnant did not go as planned.”

Happy shakes her head. “But, uh, for this time, good work, champ,” she says, clapping him on the shoulder. “Your oral presentation was particularly moving.”

Toby snorts. “That’s the worst joke you’ve ever made,” he decides. “Without any doubt.”

“You make bad dad jokes all the time,” Happy replies, resting her head on Toby’s chest. “It was about time I threw one of those in there.”

They fall asleep rather quickly, until they’re woken up right before midnight by Addie’s cries.

“I got her,” Happy mumbles, sitting up. “Oh, ow.”

Toby sits straight up. “What? Are you hurt? No bleeding? Is everything okay?”

Happy hits him with a pillow. “Calm down,” Happy insists. “I rolled over on one of your stupid psychology books. Hit my elbow.” She leans in and kisses him. “Everything else is fine.”

“Oh, good,” he says, relaxing against the pillows. “Good.”

She walks to the nursery and picks up Addie from her crib. “Hey, kiddo,” she says, smiling at Addie. “You hungry?”

Addie just wails.

“Okay, fine,” Happy says. “I get it. Milk machine is here.”

Happy sits in the rocking chair while Addie has her midnight snack, and, despite being exhausted, she’s still pleased and content.

“Thanks for giving us time, Addie,” Happy says, yawning. “Except more time to sleep would be appreciated. We’ll get you on a better schedule soon.”

She half dozes off in the rocking chair as she sings Addie to sleep, but manages to put Addie back in her crib after she burps her. Addie’s asleep before she’s settled on the mattress of the crib.

“Goodnight,” Happy says, touching the back of Addie’s hand gently. “I love you.”

~

 “Happy Wednesday!” Toby exclaims.

“Happy was trying to sleep,” she grumbles, pushing her pillow over her head. “Let me sleep.”

“Nope!” Toby exclaims. “Because it’s Wednesday, January 10th, and do you know what that means?”

“It means you’re going to get punched in the throat if you don’t stop talking,” Happy grumbles. “Why are you talking?”

“Because it’s our baby girl’s three month birthday!” Toby replies. “And it’s something else.”

Happy pushes herself up to sitting, accepting that she’s awake. “What?”

He smiles at her, looking just shy enough to be confusing. “It’s our anniversary.”

“Is not,” Happy replies, falling back against the pillows. “We became official that day in February, remember? When we told the team.”

Toby groans, collapsing against the pillows. “Are we going to have this argument every year?” he asks, curling up next to her. “That’s the first night I called you my girlfriend. It doesn’t have to be true to other people to be real to us.”

Happy sighs, resting her head on his shoulder. “You’re going to argue this every year for the rest of our lives, aren’t you?” she realizes.

“Exactly,” Toby says, “so deal with it. Our anniversary is January 10th, that night you woke me up by breaking into my house because you couldn’t sleep.”

Happy punches him in the shoulder. “Don’t be a jackass,” she mumbles. “Happy anniversary, dumbass.”

“So romantic,” Toby says. “Are you seriously falling back asleep?”

“Addie woke me up three times last night,” Happy replies. “Most recently was two hours ago. So let me sleep.”

Toby sighs. “Okay.” He kisses the top of her head. “I love you.”

Happy deliberately doesn’t respond – she’s already out.

She wakes up an hour later to Addie next to her on the bed, Toby kissing Addie’s tummy. The giggles are a great alarm clock when compared to Addie crying.

“Mommy’s awake!” Toby announces. “Hey, Mommy.” He waves Addie’s hand at Happy.

Happy groans in response. “Why am I so tired?” she mumbles.

“Because you haven’t had your coffee yet,” Toby replies. “Check your bedside table. Two sugars, splash of milk. Just how you like it.”

“Actual milk or that terrible hazelnut crap you like dumping in coffee?” Happy asks, sitting up.

“Ugh,” Toby groans. “You sound like Walter. It’s real milk.”

“Good,” Happy replies. It takes a couple of sips, but Happy starts feeling human again just in time for Addie to start fussing.

“I know, I know,” Happy says. “Breakfast time.”

Happy feeds Addie while Toby brings in breakfast. “You made me an omelet?” she asks in surprise. “Seriously?”

Toby nods. “Like I said, it’s our anniversary. I will be treating you to a wonderful breakfast.”

Happy grins at him. “I’ll call today our anniversary if you make me breakfast every year,” she says, taking the plate with the arm that isn’t cradling Addie.

“Deal,” Toby decides.

The morning is mellow and, while Toby’s finishing up with his shower, Happy rests Addie down on her play mat in the living room for just long enough to go grab a glass of water five feet away in the kitchen.

“Hey, kiddo!” Toby says, leaning down and kissing Addie on the nose. He walks over to Happy. “Want to head out soon?” 

Happy nods. “Let me go grab my bag.” And then she pauses. “Actually, you know what?” she grins at Toby. “We’re staying home today.”

“We are?” Toby asks, looking a little giddy.

Happy nods. “It’s our kid’s three month birthday, and our two year anniversary.” She walks toward him, looping her arms around his waist. “We’re having a family day.”

“And if Walter says no?”

Happy grins. “Then we’ll remind him of the time we lost the ferret and it ate through all the wires in the refrigerator, which he then insisted I fix.”

Toby nods. “You are a genius.”

She grins. “You got that right.”


	34. Addie, 15 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undercover missions were never Happy's favorite, but now that she has Addie to come home to, there's a myriad of new anxieties.

Within two weeks, they have, in Happy’s opinion, done far more than strictly necessary. Paige and Happy spent a full six hours relearning how to mix drinks on one afternoon, they had a three month celebration for Addie insisted upon by Toby, Cabe insisted on doing barbeque for them one night so late that Happy fell asleep on his couch, and Happy designed and redesigned the bugs four times until she had seven that she was comfortable with. She keeps one for herself – at some point she knows it’ll come in handy.

The night before Happy and Paige are supposed to go undercover, Happy goes out and picks up a dress that would work as a disguise. As much as she wanted to wear her own clothes, Paige argued that anything that Happy owned would make her look too much like Happy and not like her cover.

So Happy leaves Addie and Toby on their own, trying to convince herself that shopping on her own is a totally normal alone time activity and that she should like it.

She doesn’t like it – shopping’s never been her cup of tea – so she ends up bringing home the second dress she tried on and getting home within an hour of leaving.

By the time she gets home, Addie’s drowsy but hungry, and Toby’s half asleep on the couch.

“Hi,” Toby mumbles, rubbing his eyes as he sits up. “Addie’s been down for about two hours, and she ate three hours ago.”

“I’ve got her,” Happy replies. She sits down on the couch next to Toby as he tries to wake himself up. “And did you forget that I was here an hour ago? Are you okay?”

“Just tired,” Toby replies while yawning. “How’d shopping go?”

“Boring,” Happy replies, and she’s a little annoyed when she catches Toby’s yawn. “But I got a dress.”

“I definitely want to see that dress,” Toby says, leaning against the back of the couch with his eyes closed. “Definitely.”

“Do you want to wait until tomorrow morning?” Happy asks, rocking Addie slowly as she sleep eats.

Toby opens one eye and looks over at her. “You,” he says seriously, “are the perfect woman.”

Happy shrugs. “You’re not wrong. Now go to sleep – I’ll take care of feeding her and putting her to bed.”

“And then you’ll come to bed?” Toby asks, looking hopeful.

“No, I’m going to go sleep in the dumpster outside,” Happy replies with an eye roll. “Of course I’m coming to bed.”

And she does, half an hour later.

“Hi,” Toby mumbles, pulling her close when she gets into bed.

“Thought you’d be asleep by now,” she replies, closing her eyes.

He snuggles up against her, his chin on her shoulder. “I was going to,” he mumbles, “but I always sleep better with you.”

Happy half laughs. “God, you couldn’t be cheesier.”

“Yeah, I could,” Toby replies. “I think I’m pretty gouda at it.”

“You make the dumbest jokes in the world,” Happy deadpans.

~

Happy feels rather pleased when Toby’s jaw drops as she walks out of the bedroom.

“Good?” she asks, spinning slowly.

He’s silent, even when she turns back to him, and her confidence starts to falter, just a little bit. “Not good? Come on, Doc. Do I look like I could be a sexy waitress?”

Toby nods as if in a trance. “You’re always sexy,” he says, “but you – you look…” He trails off and swallows. “We got any time before we have to go to work?”

Happy smiles. “Seriously?”

“Oh yeah,” Toby says, his eyes flickering all over her body. “I’ve mentioned that you’re the most gorgeous woman in the world, right?”

“Occasionally,” Happy says. Toby steps close and kisses her, hard, sending her weak in the knees. She hugs him closer, unable to hold back the moan in the back of her throat.

“Yeah,” Happy says, a little breathless. “We’ve got some time.”

He kisses her again. “And your,” he clears his throat, “situation? From last time?”

Happy rolls her eyes. “My boobs aren’t going to leak all over the place, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I’m not weird about it!” Toby says. “Totally normal. Should have expected it. Just,” he sighs, “I didn’t expect it.”

“Yeah, well, I pumped three minutes ago, so get going.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Toby says with a slightly hungry smile and when he kisses her again, she can’t miss the heat behind it.

They’ve changed in a million ways, this has changed in a million ways, but they haven’t lost their chemistry and he hasn’t lost his unfailing desperation to make her feel amazing, between his mouth and his body. She’s not sure if it’s the doctor thing or the boyfriend thing, but Toby seems to catch on to what she needs before she even says it. She doesn’t have words for how nice it is not to have to worry right now – that she can trust that their connection will do the work.

Toby tells her he loves her with every breath, and she says it back.

He’s also gotten even better at pulling off quickies now that Addie’s another concern.

Ten minutes later and Happy’s doubly pleased and exhausted, content and satisfied.

“You know,” she says, pulling the shirt back on, “maybe for a while it’s better if you get to be on top.” She shoots him a smile. “You know, to make sure we don’t get any more leaking problems.”

“Whatever you want, beautiful,” Toby says with a mirrored grin, kissing her forehead. And then he looks at her. “Damn, you’re gorgeous.”

Happy pokes at her belly, nowhere near as firm or flat as it has been for her life before Addie. “I look like cottage cheese and stripes.”

“Wrong,” Toby says, holding out his hand to help Happy up. “You look like Happy. And you’re always beautiful.”

She sighs. “Are you always going to be this sappy?”

Toby nods. “Every day of our lives.”

Their shower is quick, the baby monitor on the side of the sink to make sure Addie doesn’t wake up, but Happy’s actually out of the shower and dressed in a pair of jeans and a tee shirt before Addie starts whimpering.

“I got her,” Happy says, and feeds Addie while she checks her phone. It’s not even ten thirty yet, and they don’t have to be at the garage until noon. Happy’s astonished that they aren’t running hideously late.

“Hey, Toby?”

“Yeah?” He sticks his head out of the bathroom door. “What’s up?”

“We’re not late,” she says. “How are we not late?”

“Because Addie slept in and I’m an incredible lover,” he replies, self satisfied grin across his face. “It only felt like a million years because I’m so good.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “You’re so proud of yourself,” she says, laughing.

He shrugs. “A little,” he says. “I was kind of worried you wouldn’t – that you wouldn’t want me to after Addie was born.”

Happy blinks. “What?”

“It happens sometimes,” he explains, pointedly not meeting her eyes while he dresses. “Spark goes out, or it’s so uncomfortable that it’s not worth it.” He leans over, kissing the top of her head. “I’m just really happy that you’re feeling well enough to want me.”

“You’re weird,” Happy says warily, because she’s not sure where this is coming from, but she reaches up with her free hand to grab the hem of his shirt. “Hey, I love you. That’s not changing. It might have been,” she searches for a word, “paused for some time, but I’m not going to forget how good we are together.” She’s not sure why she feels the need to reassure him, but she does. “Okay? Stop worrying about this.”

“I’m not worrying,” Toby replies, but the relief in his eyes proves that he was. “I love you.”

Happy smiles up at him. “I know that.”

Addie finishes up just as Toby hands Happy a glass of water.

“That was impressive timing,” Happy says, adjusting her shirt. She’s breast feeding for a reason, because it’s good for Addie and it’s the overall best choice for her as a mom, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t looking forward to when Addie can eat solid food. She only has so many button down shirts, and when all of them are covered in whatever baby mess Addie’s decided on that day a tee shirt barely works.

He shrugs. “I know things. And, besides. We ate breakfast two hours ago. I figured you’d be at least thirsty.”

“My hero,” Happy jokes, but she guzzles down the water. “We ready?”

Toby nods. “Are you?”

Happy shrugs. “I mean, I wish I didn’t have to. But Paige had a good point – they need a team of two to pull this off, and there’s no way you could seduce a room of macho straight men,” she fights a smile, “as adorable as you are.”

“Hey, there could be a couple of late in life men who have a thing for scruffy guys,” Toby fires back, but he takes Addie from Happy and straps her into her car seat as she wails. “You never know.”

They get their things together and arrive at the garage twenty minutes later, with Addie (who has sobbed herself to sleep) and Happy, who has the sudden realization that she needs to pump or feed Addie at least every four hours. Which leads into a whole new problem she hadn’t even realized.

“I think we have a minor time crunch,” Happy says, grabbing Paige as she walks in.

“Tonight?” Paige asks. “Only a little bit. And if it comes to it, I can have the sitter stay later.”

“Not Ralph,” Happy corrects. “What were you talking about?”

“Nothing,” Paige says. “Never mind. What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Happy says, “Addie eats every 3 or 4 hours. Which means I’m going to make it maybe four hours before I start getting breast milk everywhere, which might be enough to make people suspicious.”

“Plenty of new moms take questionable jobs with questionable people,” Paige explains. “I don’t think it would blow our cover.”

“It will if I’m aching so much I can’t focus,” Happy explains pointedly. “Look, I’ll make sure to take care of it to the best of my abilities right when we leave, but we’ll have to be back before too long.”

“That’s fine with me,” Paige agrees. “But why exactly are you telling me this? I wasn’t going to argue with you.”

Happy sighs. “Because you’re dating Walter so you have to explain to him why we can’t spend more than four hours at the bar.”

Realization floods Paige’s face. “Got it.”

Happy turns around to see Toby playing with Addie as she grabs at his face with her tiny, chubby hands. She’s able to hold her head up, doesn’t even need support to do so, and Happy feels a sudden pride she doesn’t have words for.

“Look!” Toby says, sounding inexplicably excited. “It’s Mommy! Say hi, Mommy!”

“Hi Mommy,” Happy quips back, grinning. “Hey, Addie Grace, how’s it going?”

Before Toby or Happy can react, Addie squeals and dives forward. Happy watches as Toby loses his grip on her torso and she starts to fall. Happy catches her in time, but Addie bonks her face against Happy’s shoulder and begins crying.

Happy shushes her gently, rocking her. “You just scared yourself, sweetie,” Happy says quietly, pressing a kiss to her forehead and pretending she’s not terrified herself. “You’re okay.”

The wailing grows louder.

“Toby, check her,” Happy says, feeling panicked. Addie cries pathetically as Happy shifts her so they can see her face. There’s no visible damage, not even redness, but Happy’s still worried. “Thoughts?”

Toby turns clinical, careful, as he touches gently along Addie’s nose and cheekbones. He breaks into a smile. “You’re fine, baby girl, aren’t you?”

Addie keeps crying, but it slows to a stop within a minute.

“What are you two doing to my girl?” Cabe says, walking into the garage with Cooper. “Don’t make her cry!”

Addie perks up at the sound of his voice and turns around, smiling when she gets a look at him.

“She smiled at me!” Cabe exclaims. “I think that might be the first time you’ve done that.” He holds out his arms and Happy places Addie with him. “There’s my happy girl.”

Happy relaxes when she sees the immediate change in Addie’s demeanor. “Okay, good,” she says, “I didn’t break the baby.”

“If the baby broke then, she would have been breaking herself,” Toby corrects. “Also, thank god, I didn’t break the baby.”

There’s some distraction and chatter for a few minutes, Addie putting on a show when she smiles or giggles every time somebody talks to her, then wiggles her little legs with pride whenever somebody cheers her on. But then, like a blanket, the seriousness of the situation weighs over them.

“So,” Toby says, kicking at the table leg. “We’re about to send two of our team members into what is probably the belly of the beast. In a couple hours. Anybody have any thoughts?”

“You clearly do,” Sylvester says, raising an eyebrow.

Toby shakes his head. “I’m just worried that we’re walking into more than we’re expecting.”

“We won’t know until we get all of this done,” Cooper explains. “I understand the hesitation, but this is our best way to get further information about the person who is colluding with Beijing. And,” she nods to Happy and Paige, “I couldn’t trust anyone more with this mission. You guys are going to do great.”

“We only have four hours, though,” Walter says. “Happy reported that she would be unable to sustain a mission of longer than four hours without either pumping or feeding Addie, and we do not want to worry about that complication.”

Happy drops her head in her palm. “Walter, the point of Paige telling you that is so we didn’t have to announce it to the whole group.”

He frowns. “I was unaware that this was an area of discomfort for you to talk about. For the record, I find it admirable the lengths you go to for your daughter.”

“Thank you,” Happy says, trying to contain her embarrassment. “Appreciated. Any other topic, now? Please?”

Toby rubs her back comfortingly. “So, ignoring that,” he says, “what else do we need to do?”

The answer to that, apparently, went in this order: change Addie’s diaper, have a conversation regarding whether or not they have enough evidence to say that conversations related to Beijing happen inside the bar, feed Addie, have lunch, come up with a time to leave (Paige and Happy plan on getting there at 9:30), check the bugs to ensure they will not be found by metal detectors and that they won’t break or disconnect from Cooper’s private server, feed Addie, change her diaper, and argue briefly over whether or not Happy and Paige need code names. Happy and Toby think it’s stupid until Cabe goes. “Who the hell else is named ‘Happy’?”

He shuts up when Happy says, “Oh, coming from Cabe?” But they decide Happy will go by the name Hallie and Paige will be Penny, which Walter finds hilarious for some reason.

By the time all of this is over, Happy’s had about an hour of rest after putting Addie down for a nap and she’s definitely not up for going anywhere.

“Can I nap first?” Toby asks. “Before we get this done, I mean. I’m wiped out.”

“Nope,” Happy replies. “You’re on baby duty. Wake up, Doc.” She kicks at his leg, but he rolls out of the way.

“Mean,” he says, standing up.

They hear a high pitched shriek, something excited instead of scared, and turn to see Cooper and Cabe looking down at Addie.

“Is she asleep?” Happy asks, confused.

“She just woke up,” Cabe says quietly. “Look at those eyes – just like Toby’s.”

“Yeah, I know,” Happy says. “It’s going to be hell saying no to that little face.”

Cooper sighs. “Oh, she’s too sweet.”

Addie kicks her feet and shoves her hand in her mouth, grinning around her fingers.

Cabe sighs again. “Kids are so great.”

Happy reaches down and picks Addie up, holding her close for a few moments. It’s six at night, and Happy and Paige need to start getting ready to go. There’s going to be makeup, hair, and clothes styling involved. But Happy just wants to hold her girl.

“Told you you’d be hardcore mommy,” Toby says, grinning at her. “You can’t let her go.”

“Or I’m just worried about the case,” Happy says, quietly enough for only Toby to hear.

“You designed the bugs,” Toby assures her. “They’ll work. It’s fine.”

“I’m more worried about putting on that dress,” Happy admits. “It doesn’t fit the would have before.”

“It looks better than it would have before,” Toby corrects.

Happy scoffs. “Yeah, right.” She pokes at her belly. It’s disguised in her tank top and jeans, but she knows things look a little different in a skin tight, incredibly short dress.

“Look, if you’re really worried, just lean forward,” Toby says with a smile. “Then your boobs will distract even the straightest woman and gayest man.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “You’re weird.”

“No, I’m honest,” Toby corrects. “And your boobs are miracles, so just relax. It’s going to go fine.”

Happy checks the time. “Well, I better start getting ready,” she says grudgingly, rubbing Addie’s back as she walks over to the other side of the garage.

“You can’t get dressed while holding a person,” Toby says, grinning at her. “Though it’d be entertaining to see you try.”

Happy glares at him. “So I want to hang out with my kid, so what?”

He holds up his hands in surrender. “I get it, I get it,” he says. “Just pointing out the logistics.”

Happy presses another kiss to Addie’s forehead and settles her in Toby’s arms. She pulls on the dress, skin tight and a dark raspberry color. Paige calls the cutout across the chest a “boob window” and Happy calls it “ridiculous.” But if she doesn’t look too hard at her belly, she think she looks pretty good.

Happy’s never been self conscious – she’s never had the time to be with everything else that’s happened in her life – but now that she’s starting to see what being normal is like, the way she looks is starting to weigh on her for the sole reason that it could be a distraction to the case.

“You’re stressing,” Toby says. “Not sure about what, but you are.”

Happy pulls back the curtain on the Addie Room. “How the hell could you know that?”

Toby shrugs, Addie drooling happily on his shoulder. “I know you. I could tell something was going on. So what’s up?”

Happy shakes her head. She plays with the hem of the dress, not as short as things she’s worn before but still short enough to be a concern. “This look okay?”

“Better than okay,” Toby replies. “Also, how the hell do your legs look so good?” He looks a hilarious combination of annoyed and intrigued as he stares at where the hemline hits, and it makes Happy smile. “You just started running again two months ago.”

Happy shrugs. “It’s the baby jogger,” she explains. “It’s harder to run when you’re pushing something.”

“So if I start running with the baby, I’ll get legs like yours?” he asks, grinning.

“You’ll have to work a lot harder than that,” Happy replies. But she feels better, and between the boob window comments from Paige and the leg comments from Toby she doesn’t even worry about that the bit of baby belly that is still present.

Happy throws on makeup and twists her hair to one side to cover her ear, a way to subtly conceal the ear piece she has to wear. She slides on the glasses with a little video camera hidden as a rhinestone. When she gets a look at herself in the mirror, she has to admit, she looks good.

She watches herself smile. “Okay,” she laughs, a little breathlessly, “maybe I could pull off glasses.”

She’s dressed and ready early – it’s only 8:15 – so she walks over to Toby as nonchalantly as possible, desperate to see his reaction.

Toby drops his water bottle.

“Dad’s being weird again,” Happy says, walking over to the black heels she’d brought. She pulls them on, strangely pleased at being closer in height to Toby. She leans down, kissing Addie’s forehead. “Isn’t he, Addie Grace?”

“You’re wearing heels,” Toby says, sounding strangled, “and they’re not attached to boots.”

“I’m supposed to be a hot bartender,” Happy says airily, trying to act like she’s not pleased by his reaction. “So I’m wearing heels.”

“Please wear that always,” Toby says, swallowing. “I mean, at home. I mean,” he shakes his head. “Yeah, I’ve got nothing.”

“Good,” Happy says. She steps toward him and the four inches the heels give her place her close enough that she doesn’t have to pull him down to kiss her, that she just has to tilt her head to reach his lips.

When they pull away, Toby says, “We just made out at work. That just happened.”

“Yeah, well,” Happy says, shrugging. “Everybody else is off doing whatever they do.” She smiles at him. “Once, though. One time deal.”

“It’s a good one time deal,” Toby says, nodding his head.

It’s another hour before Happy’s slides the bugs into her thigh holster, Paige has gotten herself together (apparently she burnt her hand on the straightener and Toby had to take care of that before she could go any further), and they’re ready to go. It’s nine in the evening – usually Happy’s heading to bed at this time. But right now she’s about to go undercover.

“Be safe,” Toby murmurs in her ear before she walks out. “And I’ll be right here.” He runs his thumb along the shell of her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “The whole time. Me and Addie.”

Happy nods. “We’ve got this. I’m not worried.”

Happy, Walter, Paige, and Cabe pile into the car, and once they get going, Happy sets herself up for what will definitely be the most awkward thing they’ve done in this van.

“Alright, things are about to get weird,” Happy says, pulling the breast pump out of the bag.

“What?” Cabe asks. “What do you mean?”

“You’re driving for a reason,” she says. “Nobody look in the rear view mirror.”

“Why not?” Walter asks, turning around in his seat.

Happy shows him the machine. “This is why, jackass.”

Walter blushes, “Oh,” he says. “Right.” He clears his throat. “This is unrelated, but I noted the alterations you made on that machine. Is it more effective that way?”

“Doesn’t go that much faster,” Happy says as Walter looks away, “but it’s less irritating, and that’s what was most important to me.”

Happy hooks herself up, settling a jacket backward over her top half, and waits for it to be over.

“You know, you should market that,” Paige says. “That would make you a lot of money.”

Happy laughs. “I might just do that.”

The car is silent, save for Cabe’s selected radio station, until they get to the parking lot a few over and across from the bar. Happy unhooks, fairly certain she’ll get sucked into the machine if she tries this for any more time, and adjusts the top of her dress.

“Ooh, wait,” Paige says. She reaches out and adjusts the back of Happy’s dress. “Your tag was sticking out.”

“Thanks,” Happy says. “Everything else okay?”

Paige looks at her. “Yeah, I think so. How about me?”

Paige is wearing a pair of skin tight jeans slung low on her hips, and floaty, short top that skims right above her belly button. She looks like she’s ready for a night club, and Happy feels short and silly next to her.

“Oh, stop that,” Paige says, and Happy realizes the concern must have been written on her face. “You look amazing.”

Happy checks to make sure the open space in the front of her dress is positioned correctly. The long sleeves are comforting, but the dress barely hits mid thigh and the open piece of the dress means that her chest in on display.

“Alright,” says Walter. “Devices are set up. Are you ready?”

Happy nods. “Yeah, let me just put my coms in.”

“And the bugs,” Walter says. “Don’t forget those.”

Happy reaches forward and smacks the back of his head. “Don’t be an asshole,” she says pointedly.

“Good evening, ladies and gentleshorts, boys and squirrels!” Toby says into the com. “How’s it going with everyone on the undercover side of the world?”

“We’re good,” Paige replies. “Any problems over where you are?”

“None at all,” Toby replies.

“And Addie?” Happy asks. “She’s okay?” She adjusts her dress, forcing herself not to fiddle with the com.

“Our girl is right here,” Toby says. “And she hasn’t even thrown up on me yet,” she hears laughter in his voice. “Sly had a bit of a scare, though. But we’re good here.”

Happy nods. “Alright. We can do this.” She turns to Paige. “Right?”

She nods. “All we have to do is pretend to be waitresses,” she says, more like she’s trying to convince herself. “Easy. I’ve done that before.”

“I’ve tended bar,” Happy mutters. “Not sure I’ve ever done it in a dress this short, though.”

“You look great,” Paige assures her. “Besides, nobody’s going to be looking anywhere but,” she nods at Happy’s chest.

“She’s got that right,” Toby says over coms.

“Can we not talking about my breast-feeding boobs over coms?” Happy snaps. She adds a, “you assholes” for effect.

“Right,” Toby says. “Sorry. Alright. Let’s hope these guys don’t recognize you.”

“They won’t,” Happy says, adjusting the dress. “I look like a cast member from Coyote Ugly and Paige looks like a pole dancer from 1999.  Not our usual work dress.”

“I do not!” Paige argues. “And I got this top in 2003, thank you very much.”

They make their way into the bar through the back door, where Happy tries desperately not to fiddle with her stick-straightened hair. The glasses and dress are a decent disguise, but there’s still a chance somebody in this dirty DC bar was familiar enough with their jobs to recognize somebody from team Scorpion, and Happy just wants to get the bugs planted in their control room before there’s a chance their cover is blown.

Plus, she doesn’t have more than four hours anyway.

“Hey, sweetheart,” a grey-haired balding man says. “Get a guy a drink?”

Happy tries her best not to feel disgusted. “Of course,” she replies, adjusting her glasses and trying for a winning smile. She presses the button on the side, just in case the guy has been caught on surveillance going between the US and Beijing lately. The visual recordings won’t be as helpful as bugs that can stay in the back rooms long term, but it could help weed people out. “What can I do for you?” she turns her smile a little dirty, “Sir?”

She watches him grow confident. Men. “I’ll take a gin and tonic,” he says in a voice she assumes is supposed to be sultry, “heavy on the gin.”

Happy smiles at him, leaning forward to make sure it's taken as a sultry smirk instead of a friendly smile. She's never been good at this kind of thing. "I'll get right too it," Happy purrs.

"Now that," Toby says in her ear, "is how you do it."

"Guys," Walter says, the wincing clear in his voice, "not over coms."


	35. Addie, 16 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a chance Happy won't make it home, and all she can think about it how she refuses to let Addie grow up without a mom.

They’re lucky the bar is just sleazy enough to benefit from being criminal informants, because if it hadn’t been Paige and Happy would never have pulled this off. The owner even had one less waitress come in tonight to ensure Happy and Paige wouldn’t seem suspicious. He hadn’t asked why, either, which is why Happy thinks Cooper was so hellbent on this particular idea.

Happy grabs her third gin and tonic of the night, shaking the drink perfectly with muscle memory she’s held since she tended bar at seventeen, and pours the drink. Just to see what happens, Happy leans forward. Sure enough, the guy’s eyes lock right on her chest and he doesn’t even reach out for the drink.

“Sir?” Happy says. “Your drink?”

“Right,” he says, clearing his throat. “And may I add, you are a beautiful woman. Are those real?” Happy half hopes he means her eyes or hands or something, but she can’t mistake the way he’s staring at her chest.

Happy really hates people. “Yeah, they are,” she replies, gritting her teeth.

Toby laughs in her ear. “I told you. You could call all of them feckless pigs and throw salsa in their eyes, and they’d still tip you well.”

The guy smiles at her and drops her a tip with her payment – ten bucks.

“Damn,” Paige says, sliding up next to her. “I gave a guy a smile and a little sweet talk and all I got was five dollars.”

Happy shrugs. “I think some people just like the idea that I’m a walking pair of boobs. Not unlike Addie.”

Toby snorts in her ear. “I love you.”

“On coms,” Happy says firmly.

“On another note,” Toby says. “It’s officially 10:48, which means Addie is officially sixteen weeks old.”

“Do people celebrate weeks when the kid is multiple months old?” Cabe asks.

“We do!” Toby decides. “We’ll have a celebration.”

“No,” Happy says. “We won’t. You insisted on a three month celebration only a few weeks ago. Now shut up, nerds. The grown ups have a job to do.”

The night seems to go the same way for a few hours, Happy talking to men whose eyes lock on her chest, striking up conversations with the ones who look the most important, and getting tips that really seem excessive.

“Did I really get twenty dollars after selling him four drinks?” Happy asks, holding the bill up to Paige. “Because this seems a little wrong.”

Paige shrugs. “Shove it in that thigh holster you’re keeping the bugs in.”

Happy glares at her. “Not that loud,” she hisses. “I don’t want to blow our cover.”

“Who’s going to hear behind the bar?” Paige asks. “Do you think the vodka might be a Russian spy?”

“That was my joke!” Toby exclaims. “Oh, and baby update. Addie is currently having dinner. Ralph insisted on feeding her, and she is happy as a clam.”

“He did?” Paige asks. “That’s so sweet.” Then she frowns. “Ralph, why are you still awake?!”

“Eyes on the job, kids,” Cabe says. “Happy, look a little up and to your right. I think some people are going into a back room. I recognize them as some of the big wigs in Homeland.” He pauses. “I think you need to get back there.”

“Exactly why didn’t we just have the bar tender plant the bugs?” Paige asks.

“Because if anybody but me set them up, we couldn’t guarantee they would work,” Happy explains. “I don’t want to risk any damage, because they’re so small. Besides, he told us himself. They kick him out of that room – he’s not allowed in.”

“This is his bar,” Walter says, confused.

“Yeah, but, if I had to guess, he’s getting passes from the government in exchange for illegal dealings,” Cabe explains. “As helpful as he’s been, I think he’s doing it so he can get his bar back without having to pay a bunch of taxes they’ve let slide.”

“And I don’t see a liquor license anywhere,” Paige muses. “What?” she says, when Happy looks at her. “You’re not the only one who had to play the bartender at one time in her life.”

“Alright,” Happy says. “I’ll get back there, get the bugs set up.”

Happy grabs a tray of whiskey, something expensive that she hopes Homeland will reimburse the bartender for, and tries her best to walk seductively through the crowd. The intention is to get the attention of the people going into the room, but instead she catches the eye of no fewer than five men and one woman, who all look like they would eat her alive.

“This is terrible,” Happy says through gritted teeth and a fake smile.

“You’re doing great,” Paige says. “The guy holding the door just got a good look at you.”

Happy looks up. And there’s no denying that expression on that sleazeball’s face.

“Fantastic,” Happy grumbles. “Get the coms ready to record, guys. If I have to murder this asshole I want it on record why I had to deck him.”

Toby laughs. “And also so we can have evidence of them making traitorous deals with foreign nationals?”

“Right,” Happy replies. “That too.” She walks up to the man holding the door and watches as his eyes scan her body. She should feel vulnerable, a little violated, but instead she feels angry. This has happened to her since she turned twelve, the stares, the looks, and in this bar it dredges up memories she’d rather fight off.

“Hi, sir,” she says, curling her lips as best she can. She holds the tray out too him. “On the house.”

“You too?” he asks, grinning with a hint of predatory teeth.

Happy lists the number of ways she could kill him with the bottle of whiskey and smiles back. “That’ll cost extra.”

“Happy, you just insinuated you were hired for sex,” Toby says, sounding panicked. “Careful.”

She doesn’t reply, but she knows he’s right. This could turn really bad really quickly, and the way his grin grows even more menacing makes Happy worry Toby was right.

She steps in the room anyway.

“I’m going to stand outside the door once everyone’s inside,” Paige says, and her voice is so calculated, so calm, that Happy knows she might be in for danger.

She walks into the room with the drinks and tries desperately not to let the click of the door locking behind her scare her.

“Hey, boys,” she says, because she can be brave, she can be steady, as long as she knows her team is behind her. “Care for a drink?”

They all nod with big smirks, looking her up and down. Happy tries to stay calm, stay stoic.

She can do this.

Happy passes around drinks automatically, and then she gets the idea that might be able to save her, get the bugs planted and her out of there before she has to seriously worry.

“So whose birthday is it?” she asks. “Because somebody ordered one hell of a gift.”

The whole room lights up. “Nobody’s got a birthday today,” says one man, balding and portly, lounging in a chair. “But we can pretend.”

“Well,” says Happy. “Then I need all of you boys to be very still and very quiet.” It’s dead silence on the coms, and she’s certain her team has no idea where she’s going with this.

But she’s been with Toby long enough to know how to fuck with people, and she’s been alive long enough to know how men work.

She tells herself _You can do this_ and leans over the table. “Everybody against the wall.”

Happy hopes she read them right, hopes all of Toby’s rants about how men in high powered positions usually want to be submissive as a release, and, goddamnit, it works. Toby’s bullshit behavioral analysis works.

They looks unwaveringly excited as they get up against the wall, chuckling to themselves in a way that mixes excitement and nerves. Happy pulls her dress up a little bit, just enough to grab the set of six bugs. Nobody’s watching her.

“Now,” she says, and with every step she trails her fingertips along the top of the table, doing her best to turn on the bugs.

“Bug one is on,” she hears Walter mutter in her ear.

Happy sticks it under one of the tables. “I’ve got a couple of questions for you big, important men.” And now she feels good, like she can do this. Five bugs left to plant. Six men left to distract and destroy.

She can do this.

“Yes?” one of them says.

“Did I say you could talk?” she asks. She forces back the waver in her voice as she sticks a bug on a book in the shelf.

“Good, Happy,” Toby says. “Next step is to get them so distracted they don’t question you.”

The guys laugh, something deep and gruff and, frankly, gross, and Happy makes it around to another part of the wall, hidden by some tasteless sconces, and puts a bug there.

Three to go.

“Get a bug on a person,” Cabe says rapidly.

“What?!” Toby exclaims.

“No, do it,” Walter says, and Happy tries to focus on their words as she plays eenie meenie minie moe with the men, like she’s trying to decide which one to seduce. “If you get it on one of the agents, they may bring information from here to the office. We can get more details.”

Happy taps her com once, tucking her hair behind her ear. And then she says, “and you. Are. It.”

Her choice is the most innocuous, the youngest and least intimidating of all of them, somebody who is small and slight and who she could probably take down without thinking about it. The rest of the men look on, jealousy in their eyes, but Happy ignores them.

She spins the guy and throws him in a chair, slipping a bug under the arm of the chair as he falls heavily. The rest of the men cheer like this is a football game. Happy does her best to block them out, focusing on what she’s doing, on her goal. She realizes she can pull off pressing one of her bugs under the collar of his suit jacket by pretending to fix his tie. He’s completely hypnotized as she presses the bug against his collar, unbelievably glad that she and Walter had battled to make best best all-purpose adhesive all those weeks ago.

Two more to go.

“What, not going to dance for me?” he asks.

And Happy realizes – she’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. She doesn’t want to give a lap dance, especially not right now when she’s in this damn dress and he’s already smiling at her like he knows what’s going to happen. But she doesn’t even want to consider what would happen if she tried to leave right now.

So she sucks it up, and gives the least enthusiastic, most awful lap dance in the history of the world. She reminds herself she’s been through worse, that she’s survived hells a million times more potent than right now, and that somehow calms her. Because now she has a team behind her. She’s not alone in a foster home living room with no one to protect her.

She’s in control of this situation, and if things shift so that she isn’t, she has an entire team to take care of her.

Happy realizes she’s okay.

She pulls away after the thump of the club’s latest sultry mix ends, and grins down at him. She goes for a kiss to his cheek, just to sell it further, and steps away from him. And she still has two bugs left to plant. She decides to walk up to the man who opened the door for her, and manages to stick one under his lapel when she pats his chest. “Sorry, boys,” she says. “Only one for tonight.”

She moves to step away – one more bug to plant and she’s done – but she’s stopped in her tracks by one of the men standing in front of the door.

“No, you’re not done yet,” the guy says, and he grabs Happy’s arm with a grip hard enough to hold her. She freezes. Happy Quinn can break out of this in seconds.

But she’s not Happy. She’s Hallie, and any break in character could mean the worst for her.

“Yes,” she replies firmly, using her free hand to pry his hand off, pretending to struggle. “I am.”

She’s got no way to ask for help, no way to tell them that this, right now, is not something she can handle. She gets flashbacks to horrible moments in her life, things she’s blocked out for years, as two of the guys rise in their chairs.

That’s when a hideous alarm starts blaring, and sprinkler water pours from the ceiling.

The men shriek and run past her, throwing open the door as they leave her in the dust.

“Thank god, guys,” Happy says, relief and sprinkler water washing off some of the terror. “Coincidence or Paige?”

“Paige,” Walter replies. “It’s always Paige.”

Paige runs into the room after all the men have left, her drenched hair not looking right when compared to her relieved smile. “Oh, you’re alright!” Paige darts in and hugs Happy. And it comforts her – somehow being held right now, after all she just fought through, comforts her.

Even so, all Happy wants to do is hold her baby.

“All the bugs planted?” Walter asks.

“More pressing issues!” Paige exclaims, sounding genuinely pissed.

Happy sticks one more bug to the underside of the doorknob. “Glad I made them water proof now,” Happy jokes. But her hands are shaking.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Paige says quietly. She grabs Happy’s hand and pulls her out the door, and they walk in the herd of people exiting the club like they’re just patrons.

When they walk the final block to the van, Happy throws herself into the van, feeling a little shaky but ultimately okay.

“Are you okay, Happy?” Cabe asks, looking concerned. “We heard – ”

“I’m fine,” Happy assures him, and she manages a smile. “You guys had my back. I’m okay.”

“Do we get to keep the tips?” Paige asks, trying to keep the tone light. “Because Happy got at least fifty dollars tonight and I got thirty six. We could put that in some sort of going out fund.” Her eyes light up. “Or I could get Addie more new clothes.”

“No more new clothes!” Happy says. “And turn around in your seat, Walt, before you see something you don’t want to.”

The ache in her chest starts to dissipate as Happy pumps, listening to Paige, Walter, and Cabe go over some of the video they got. Happy got the video glasses, but Paige’s hair pin had a video recording device as well. Then pins's camera got obscured at times by Paige's hair, but they still got some interesting activity from a distance while Happy was stuck in the back room giving the worst lap dance in her life.

All Happy can think about is the fact that she would have easily gotten caught if Paige hadn’t pulled the fire alarm, that there’s no way she could have gone any further to save herself if they hadn’t had the right timing. That there’s a good chance that she could have not made it home tonight.

The thought weighs on her the whole drive back to the garage, her participation in conversation extending solely to replying to any direct questions. Her thoughts are of Addie and Addie only. Paige’s hand rests on top of hers gently, like a safety net to keep her steady.

Happy’s never had a girl friend like this before. People, let alone girls, had always confused her as much as they intrigued her, and after falling for Rosa and getting left behind again, she put up a wall.

She’s glad Paige fell into their lives.

They reach the garage, and Happy scrambles to get herself together enough so she can get out of the van. She practically dives into the garage once Cabe parks the car, pulling out her com and shoving it into Walter's hand. She grabs her baby bag and half throws it onto the couch before walking over to Toby, where he’s standing over Addie’s pack and play. His smile as he looks down at her is the first step in Happy relaxing.

Toby looks up when he hears Happy walk over, her heels echoing like gunshots on the hard floor. Toby grins at her. “Missed you too, sweetheart.”

“Who cares about you?” Happy jokes, grabbing his hand. He drapes his jacket over her damp shoulders. “I want to see my baby.”

Addie is asleep, out completely cold, in her pack and play.

“She’s too damn cute,” Toby sighs, dropping her hand to wrap an arm around Happy's waist. “We can’t do anything about it.”

Happy rests her forehead against his shoulder, because, for the first time since Addie was born, there was a chance she wasn’t going to make it out of a case. And nothing terrified her more than leaving her daughter without a mother.

She leans down and gathers Addie in her arms, blanket and stuffed giraffe and all, and just holds her for a few minutes as Toby rests his cheek against the top of her head.

“Is it okay to tell you I was scared?” he asks. “I don’t like being away from her, but being away from you when you’re in danger is almost worse.”

“Being away from both of you was terrible,” Happy replies. “But I’m here. I’m good.” She takes a deep breath, and Addie stirs, her big hazel eyes opening sleepily. After a few seconds, she gets a look at Happy’s face and smiles so brightly that Happy feels like she’s going to cry.

“Like I said the day she was born,” Toby says, kissing Happy’s forehead, “you’re our superhero. And we’re nothing without our superhero.”

“Well, a superhero is pretty boring without her sidekicks,” Happy replies.

Toby grins at her. “By the way, is this your superhero costume? Because, as impractical as it is, it’s incredibly hot.”

“We can hear you!” Paige calls from across the garage.

“Then stop listening!” Happy shouts back. She grins up at Toby. “Would we sew a big Q on the front?”

“For what?” Toby says.

“Quinn,” Happy says. “I don’t know. I’m going with the superhero idea.”

“I’ll stick to the jokes, you stick to the world saving,” Toby laughs. He leans in, lips close to her ear. “But, uh. Hold onto that dress. For date nights.”

Happy nods. “Duly noted.”

When they finally get home that night, after Happy’s showered and she’s warm and dry again, they curl up in bed together. Happy and Toby are too wired to sleep, so they take turns reading to Addie until she falls asleep.

“I’m just really freaked out by the idea of Dr. Seuss,” Happy says, adjusting her shirt after Addie gets drowsy while eating. “Like, why is the default fish color yellow? That doesn’t even make sense – fish are all kinds of colors.”

“I think you’re overthinking Dr. Seuss,” Toby says, and he’s clearly fighting a smile.

“No, seriously,” Happy says, sitting Addie up so she can burp her. “It’s weird.” She leans down to kiss Addie’s cheek. “Dr. Seuss is weird, baby girl. Incredibly weird. Don’t let yourself get sucked in.”

“Your mom is weird,” Toby corrects, tickling Addie’s tummy. She laughs, something squeaky and unbelievably joyful, and Toby looks so happy it almost floods Happy’s heart to bursting.

But her eyes are shutting as much as she’s trying to stay awake, and she’s down for the count, sleeping on Toby’s chest, within five minutes.

“That didn’t last long,” Toby muses, running his hand along Addie’s back, settling it protectively on her lower back.

“Cat videos?” Happy asks, suggesting the guilty pleasure neither of them admitted to until they first slept together and realized their idea of down time was cooking shows and dumb cat videos after a bad case.

Toby nods. “Hit me with foolish felines.”

This time it’s Happy who feels sleep pulling her in, and Toby gets up to turn off the lights, resting Addie in her bassinet.

“As scary as today was,” Toby says, turning the iPad off and resting it on the bedside table, “tonight has been pretty nice.”

Happy picks Addie up for one last cuddle, then rests her in her bassinet right next to the bed. “You’re only saying that because we ran out of time for Laundry Night,” Happy laughs. He cuddles against her, lips pressing to her cheek.

“Well,” he says, interrupting himself with a yawn, “there’s that, too.”

Happy’s quiet for a minute. “That’s not the first time I’ve been in that kind of situation,” she manages to say. It feels good to get it out, to tell someone.

Toby turns to her, his eyes sparkling in the dim light of the moon seeping in through the blinds. “It’s not?”

Happy shakes her head, not able to meet his eyes. "No," she confirms. "And this ended a lot better than that time."

Toby runs his fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

"I'm okay now," she promises. "And I’ll talk to you about it. Not tonight, but I will.” She curls into his side until all she can see, hear, or breathe is him. “What’s important is that I’m okay now.”

“I love you,” Toby say quietly. But after that he’s silent.

“Thanks for not pushing it,” Happy murmurs, her hands curling in his tee shirt.

“Whatever you need, I’m here,” he replies. “I’m always yours.”

Happy smiles. “And I’m always yours.”


	36. Addie, 4 months and 2 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milestones, double dates, and a little too much wine. Adulthood is complicated when you add a baby and/or alcohol.

“Do we have anything we have to do today?” Happy asks the minute she wakes up. “It’s a Saturday. We can’t have anything we have to do today, right?”

Toby mumbles in annoyance next to her. “Sleeping,” he replies, putting his pillow over his head. “Stop talking.”

Happy looks at him. “You’re asleep still?”

“Yes, because it’s five in the morning,” Toby grumbles. “Go back to bed.”

Happy rubs at her eyes, and briefly wonders why in hell she would have woken up at five am for no reason. She’s not even that tired – just woke up and was ready to go.

And then she hears Addie begin to fuss over the baby monitor.

“Psychic Mama powers,” Toby mumbles. “Baby breakfast. Then come back to bed.”

Happy makes her way to Addie’s room, where she’s wiggling around in her crib, her arms working overtime.

“Are you trying to roll over?” Happy asks, watching her closely. Addie makes frustrated little noises as she scootches around, and Happy helps her, just a teeny bit, to roll over to her tummy.

“Don’t tell Dad I helped you,” Happy says, picking Addie up out of the crib. “You hungry, kiddo?”

Addie drools all over herself.

“That’s a yes,” Happy mutters.

Happy rocks while Addie has her first breakfast, checking her email and CNN on her phone to pass the time, until Addie fall back asleep mid-breakfast.

“Of course you get to sleep,” Happy says, yawning. The tiny spark of energy faded quickly. “Back to bed with you.”

Happy sets Addie down and collapses face first back into bed just in time for Toby to sit up.

“No, go back to sleep,” Happy says, reaching up blindly. She grabs a handful of what she assumes is his shirt and pulls down.

“Okay, those were my pajama pants, and now I’m mooning you,” Toby says. “But if you’re seducing me, I’m good to go.”

Happy rolls over and gets a good look at Toby’s nakedness. “Naked, you are."

"Okay, now I'm not good to go, Yoda," Toby says. He's grinning at her.

"Shut up. It's early," Happy replies. "Why are you awake?”

“Gotta pee,” he replies.

Happy falls back against the pillows. “Thanks for sharing.”

Toby curls up behind her when he falls back into bed, just as Happy had fallen asleep.

Happy groans. “Okay, here’s the deal. All three of us need to sleep this time. No more waking up until, like eight. Got it?”

Toby snuggles close to her. “Got it.”

~

They wake up at 6:30 in the morning when Walter calls, panicking only slightly.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Happy says, talking over Walter’s ramble and through her own yawning. “No, seriously, you’re gonna die. Go tell Paige you love her and then get ready because I’m going to kill you.”

There’s a brief pause on the other end of the line. “Paige is going to kill me,” Walter squeaks. “Help.”

Happy sits up, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. “What the hell did you do this time?”

“I asked if I could move in with her,” Walter says. He says it so quickly that Happy could hardly follow it – but then it hits her.

“You what?!” she exclaims. “What do you – what?!”

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Walter squeaks. Happy’s never heard him this panicked before. “We were eating breakfast and she was sending Ralph to the bus, and I asked what she would think if I never left.”

“What did she say?” Happy sighs. Her yawn is so big it cracks her jaw.

“I didn’t wait around to get an answer,” he replies. “I ran out of her apartment and now I’m in my car.”

Happy pushes herself up to sitting. “Wait, Walter, did this just happen?”

“Yes!” he replies.

“Why the hell would you call me about this?” she asks, flopping back onto her pillow. “There is no universe where I would be helpful in this situation.”

“Well, I called Toby,” Walter replies. “And I think you answered his phone by accident.”

Happy pulls the phone away from her ear. Sure enough, she’s holding Toby’s giant block-like cell phone instead of her reasonably sized one. “Oh.”

“Please put Toby on the line,” Walter says pathetically.

Happy leans over, poking at Toby’s shoulder. “Doc, wake up. Walter’s in a crisis.”

“I’m still asleep,” Toby groans, face down in the pillow. “I can’t deal with his bullshit if I’m asleep.”

“Yeah, well, I had to deal with his bullshit and I was still asleep, too.” Happy says, poking Toby in the ribs, just where she knows he’s ticklish. He jumps. “Wake your ass up, Shrinky Dink.”

“That’s Dr. Shrinky Dink to you,” Toby replies. He grabs the phone from Happy and begins a conversation that Happy is profoundly grateful to be away from.

“Walter, hold on,” Toby sighs. “Let me get a cup of coffee and get into the living room so Happy doesn’t murder me for keeping her awake.”

“Good call,” Happy replies. She tries to fall back asleep, except apparently whatever Walter is saying is pissing Toby off to an impressive degree. It keeps Happy up and, eventually, wakes Addie up.

“And sleep is off the menu,” Happy grumbles. She gets up and walks to Addie’s room to see Addie wiggling her arms like she’s trying to roll over. “You don’t give up, do you, kid?” Happy asks. She scoops Addie up in her arms, and watches as Addie holds her head up for just long enough to look at Happy, then falls against Happy’s shoulder.

“Hi to you too, Addie.” She walks with Addie into the kitchen, where she hears Toby yell, “Because you love her, you moron!” into the phone.

“Talk going well?” Happy asks.

Toby’s eye roll is more like a full body roll of exasperation.

“Got it,” Happy says with a nod.

The phone call lasts long enough for Happy to change Addie’s diaper, feed her, put her back to bed, and go back to sleep herself. She’s woken up soon after by Toby making pathetic whining noises as he face plants into bed.

“You good, Doc?” Happy mumbles.

“Our best friend has no social skills,” Toby sighs. “Nothing. I’m getting concerned – it’s like he deliberately self sabotages.”

“I’d slam you with a ‘pot calling the kettle black’, but I do the same thing, so,” Happy pats Toby on the back. “We all suck at the emotional stuff. We need to get used to it.”

Toby groans. “But it’d be really nice not to have to babysit Walter when he does something stupid.”

“Was it stupid?” Happy asks, rolling over.

Toby shakes his head. “No. Paige has been hinting it for weeks. Walter just doesn’t get hints.”

“You’ve got that right,” Happy replies. “So everything’s okay?”

Toby nods. “Everything’s fine. And they’re moving in together.”

“Good,” Happy replies. “Maybe then Walter will stop calling us at six in the freakin’ morning.”

“To be fair,” Toby says, pulling Happy in for a hug, “he called at six thirty.”

“Fair is stupid,” Happy says. She rests her head on his chest.

Just as she’s about to fall asleep, Toby says, “Oh, and I forgot to mention. We’re going on a double date with them tonight. Six thirty.”

Happy puts the pillow over her ears.

~

It’s a lazy Saturday, Happy taking the “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice to heart as she dozes off with Addie in her bed while Toby gets some peer reviews completed next to them. Eventually, though, it’s one in the afternoon and her back’s starting to ache from the time pretending to be asleep. She gets up and rests Addie on the play mat on the living room floor while Toby keeps an eye on her as he’s making lunch.

“I’m taking a shower,” Happy says, resting Addie on her back on the mat. She makes sure Addie is right under the sparkly purple fish. Addie seems to really like that piece of the play mat. Or, at least, she’s less likely to flip out when she’s under that spot.

“What?” Toby calls back.

“Taking a shower,” Happy yells. “There’s a bottle in the fridge.”

“Got it,” Toby replies. “Me and my Addie will have a great time.”

Happy lets herself take a too-long shower, because she hasn’t in a million years and she knows she has the time.

And then, as she walks past Addie after she’s relaxed and dressed, she sees something unexpected. “Toby, did you put Addie on her stomach?” Happy says, looking at Addie. She’s resting on her tummy, little legs flexing and wiggling like she’s trying to get somewhere. She looks up at Happy, grinning broadly as she whacks her hands on the play mat.

“Nope,” Toby replies from the kitchen.

“Hey there, Addie Grace,” Happy says, laying down next to her on the floor. “Did you roll over all by yourself without anybody to watch you?”

Addie giggles and grabs Happy’s hand, babbling mindlessly.

“Yes, I know,” Happy says. “Very good idea. Did you mean to roll on your tummy?”

Addie giggles again.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Happy says. “Show Mommy?”

Addie just wiggles a little more and then falls asleep.

“Damn,” Happy says, sighing. “Next time, wait for me or Dad, okay? I want to see that in person next time.” She frowns. “Shit. We can’t leave you on the play mat anymore, can we?” She picks Addie up, resting her on her hip. “You are going to be such a trouble maker, aren’t you, kiddo?”

Addie giggles and drools all over Happy’s shoulder.

Happy sighs. “That sounds about right.” She looks around and grabs the first burp cloth she sees and mops up her previously clean shoulder. “You should try communicating in a way other than drool. That would be nice.”

“Did I just hear what I thought I heard?” Toby asks, peeking into the kitchen. “She rolled over?”

Happy nods. "And of course, we missed it.”

“Wait one second,” Toby says. He darts back into the bedroom and comes back out into the living room. “What time is it?”

“Eight thirty-five,” Happy replies. “Why?”

“So we’ll say between eight fifteen and eight thirty,” Toby replies, scribbling something in this tattered notebook he carries around. The last time she saw him take notes this frantically he was trying not to lose a bet.

“What is even in that book?” Happy asks, giving Addie her pacifier when she starts wiggling around and fussing. “Oh, chill, Addie. You’re fine.”

Toby grins at Happy. “All of her milestones, and some grocery lists,” Toby replies. “I think there’s a couple dozen funny quotes from Walter in here too.”

“You write everything she does down?” Happy asks. “That seems time consuming.”

Toby waves his hand. “It’s simple. I just jot things down when they happen and put it all into a word document.”

“I have no idea how you have all that time,” Happy sighs. “Do you ever sleep?”

“Nope!” Toby says cheerily. “Between the baby and my natural inclination to wake up all the time, I’ve been sleeping two to four hours a night.” He flexes the arm holding the book. “I’m either typing or exercising. Working out my brain and my body.”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “Did you somehow get weirder?”

Toby pouts. “I thought you were going to say hotter.”

Happy fights a smile. “I don’t know, Addie,” she says, turning to drooling baby. “Is Daddy weird?”

Addie babbles and squeaks excitedly.

“That’s a yes,” Happy says to Toby.

“You two are giving me the exact same look right now,” he says, pointing to the two of them. “She has my eyes but your expressions. I’m screwed.”

Happy nods. “You kind of are.”

After scrambling a little bit and almost losing Addie’s blanket, they get to Paige’s apartment later that day at 6:35. It’s the closest to on time they’ve been since Addie was born. As Happy parks, Ralph bounds out of the apartment with glee. Sylvester’s close behind him.

“Last chance to bail,” Happy mutters out of the corner of her mouth, Addie resting in her arm. “A double date with Walter and Paige is always awkward.”

“We’re not bailing,” Toby says firmly. “We’re going on a double date with our good friends, and it’s not going to be awkward.”

Happy scoffs. “Oh, sure.”

“I can’t wait to babysit!” Ralph says, looking excited. “Sylvester and Cabe and I have a million ideas, it’s going to be awesome.”

Toby frowns. “Not too many ideas,” he corrects. “She’s four months old. If you try to get her to do too much she goes into sensory overload and loses her mind. Because she’s four months old.”

“Our plans include fingerpaint and taking pictures,” Sylvester explains.

“That mean I have to cancel the sky diving plans?” Cabe asks. He walks out of Paige’s apartment. “I still can’t believe you guys have enlisted three people to watch one baby.”

“Well, to be fair, she is a handful,” Happy clarifies. “Now get your asses into the car. I’m hungry and I don’t want to fall asleep in the middle of dinner.”

“You’re driving?” Walter asks. He’s looking particularly stuff in a button down shirt, tie, and dress pants. Happy’s half convinced he had Paige iron them, with how pressed he looks.

“Of course I’m driving,” Happy replies. “I always drive. Haven’t you people realized that by now?”

Toby eyes her. “Happy, we need to have our car here in case they need to drive somewhere with Addie.”

“Right,” Happy says. “Duh.”

Walter drives his car and parks as far away from the door as possible.

“Any reason we’re parking a county away?” Toby asks, unbuckling his seat belt.

“It is a more health conscious decision to park farther away from the entrance to add some casual exercise into your day,” Walter explains.

Happy kicks the back of his seat she gets out of the car.

“You guys don’t have to put up with it every day,” she says, “so feel lucky on that part.”

“I’m just glad I didn’t wear heels,” Happy mutters.

“Lucky you,” Paige replies.

They get there right in time for their reservation and sit at a table in the back. Happy immediately orders a glass of red wine. Toby, Paige, and Walter follow suit.

“So,” Paige says over her first glass. “How’s parenting? Are you finally sleeping?”

Happy shakes her head. “Not that much.”

“Not at all,” Toby adds. “We’re up all night half the time.”

“We got a phone call from Paige’s neighbor recently telling us to be quieter,” Walter blurts out, setting down the glass that's half drained. Happy watches Paige’s face fade into shock. “So we understand.”

“I was talking about Addie keeping us up from fussing,” Toby says slowly, “but thanks for the TMI overload.”

Walter looks over at Paige. “I think I should stop at one glass of wine.”

“I think that’s a good call.” Paige looks at Toby. “Anyway. Addie’s sleep schedule. Please tell me about it in excruciating detail so I forget what just happened.”

Toby does as he’s told – excruciating detail is right. Happy realizes nowhere near soon enough that she’s drained three glasses of red wine in an hour and a half, and her head is swimming despite eating her entire entrée.

“Not good,” she mutters, staring down at her steak.

“You okay, Hap?” Toby asks. He’s giving her a look that’s half concern and half amusement.

“Yup,” Happy replies, trying to keep it together. “Totally wine. I mean, totally fine. Why?”

“You haven’t had much alcohol since Addie was born, have you?” Paige asks, a knowing smile.

“No, why?” Happy asks. She reaches out for her glass of water and chugs it down.

“Because you’re definitely drunk right now,” Paige laughs.

“Only because your boyfriend,” Happy nods over at Walter, “won’t shut up about your sex life. Which is, like, the last thing I’ve ever wanted to know about.”

Toby snorts. “That’s fair.”

Paige pokes Walter in the shoulder. “You’re so awkward you made Happy get drunk,” she jokes. “That means we’re paying for dinner.”

“We are?” Walter asks.

“Sound more like a ten year old, would you,” Happy says, rolling her eyes. Then she realizes said that out loud, and distracts her mouth with more water. Toby rubs her back.

“So Truthy McNoFilter over here might need to skip dessert,” Toby says.

“Stop laughing at me,” Happy says

“Am I laughing?” Toby asks.

“No, but you’re smiling, which is a precursor to laughing,” Happy replies. Then she pauses. “Oh, god, don’t let me drink.”

“It happens,” Paige explains. “Especially after kids. You go, like, a year without really drinking and then boom you have a couple and your mind is jello.”

“I hate jello,” Happy mumbles.

They finish up the dinner and Walter does pay the check. When they get back to Paige’s apartment, Happy’s had to bite back so many snarky and inappropriate comments that she ends up gripping Toby’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Toby asks, unbuckling. “Feeling sick?”

“No,” she replies. “I just am having a rough time not making that’s what she said jokes.”

Toby snorts. “Why do you act like a teenager when you’re drunk?”

Happy shrugs. “Coming from the person who constantly makes bad puns.”

“I’m a dad!” Toby argues. “Bad puns are dad puns.”

Happy just rolls her eyes.

Cabe is the only person still awake when they walk into Paige’s apartment, Addie in his arms.

“She’s such a good sleeper,” Cabe says quietly. “Can’t put her down. Those two fell asleep a couple of minutes ago in the middle of Jurassic World.” He frowns. “I knew it wasn’t scientifically accurate, but I don’t remember any of the plot because of how angry they got about it.”

Happy silently reaches out and Cabe rests Addie in her arms. “Yeah, don’t watch The Matrix with them either,” Toby says. “Sylvester gets scared and Ralph hyperanalyzes all the tech until he disproves every part of the movie.”

“You’re the one who psychoanalyzes the characters and ruins every scary movie before we’re ten minutes in,” Happy says, one eyebrow raised.

Toby shrugs. “You’ve got a point.”

They say their goodbyes and Happy begrudgingly insists that Toby drives.

“I’m still,” she searches for the right word, “tipsy. So you need to drive. You need to drive the pretty, shiny, new soccer mom car.”

Toby laughs as he makes sure Addie’s nice and buckled in her car seat. “Thank you for the opportunity to drive the pretty, shiny, new soccer mom car, babe.”

She wants to argue with him over the nickname, but instead she dozes off with her head resting against the car window.

They get home, Toby taking care of bringing Addie inside, and Happy’s so tired when she walks into their apartment that she barely manages to throw her coat on the coat rack before face planting onto the couch.

“I’ll take care of Addie while you rest,” Toby says. “Drunky.”

“Not drunk!” Happy shoots back. “I am tipsy.”

“Drunky,” Toby singsongs. “I’ll grab you the breast pump so you can get rid of the wine-riddled milk, sound good?”

Happy nods, yawning. “We’ve got formula for back up, right?”

“Always do,” Toby replies.

Happy barely manages to stay away, despite how uncomfortable it is pumping. She settles for rebuilding another one of her dream cars in her head. When she’s done pumping, she falls asleep sprawled on the couch and she doesn’t wake up again until she feels Toby’s arms under her back and knees.

“Are you carrying me?” she mumbles. “I think you forgot that I’m your girlfriend, not you’re daughter.”

“Yeah?” Toby says, chuckling. “Well, neither of you can walk right now.”

“I can walk!” Happy replies. She interrupts herself with a yawn and relaxes against Toby’s chest. “But I think I’m going to choose not to.”

Toby sets her on her side of the bed and Happy kicks off her boots, pulls off her jeans, and throws her jacket somewhere in the bedroom. Toby changes into pajamas, but Happy couldn’t care less. Her tank top is comfortable. She’s about to fall asleep when a thought hits her.

“Wait!” Happy says. She sits up so straight that her head spins. “Oh, god, my head.”

“You’re okay,” Toby says, kissing her temple. “What’s up?”

 “Addie,” Happy explains, her words slurred from both wine and from being half asleep, “she okay?”

“You pumped two bottles for her before we left for dinner, I already gave her one, and you already got rid of the boozy milk,” Toby replies. “Like, twenty minutes ago. Did you seriously forget?”

“No,” Happy mumbles. “I was napping. And when I wasn't napping, I was just rebuilding a 74 Pantera and sometimes that makes me forget what I’m doing."

“In your head, right?” Toby says, and it takes her a second to realize he’s joking.

“Yes, dope. If I had a 74 Pantera I’d be sleeping with it, not you,” she replies.

"That's an extremely weird thing to say," Toby says, "but I'll let it pass, because you're drunk."

Happy pokes him in the stomach. "Jerk."

“Ow!” Toby laughs. “Hap, that was a little stronger than it needed to be!”

“Sorry, Doc,” she mumbles. She drops her head a little heavily on his chest. “You’re warm.”

“Yes, and you’re drunk.”

“Thanks for the news alert, Captain Obvious.” She pats his chest. “Your big fancy degrees tell you all that?”

Toby laughs so hard he shakes the bed. “How are you both cuddly and condescending right now? That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Because you’re dumb but you’re cute and I love you,” Happy replies. “Now, shut up. You’re keeping me awake.”

“I’m keeping you awake?” Toby asks. “You sure about that, babe?”

Happy nods, but she makes a pleased little sigh when Toby runs his fingers through her hair. “Very awake,” she mumbles. “So awake.”

“Go to sleep, beautiful,” he murmurs, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll take care of you tomorrow morning.”

“Thanks,” Happy mumbles. And when she wakes up four hours later to Addie’s fussing, she doesn’t even feel that terrible.

“Hey, Addie,” she says quietly. Addie’s on her tummy, and Happy’s certain she rolled over herself. “First piece of advice: never drink three glasses of red wine in an hour and a half.” She settles Addie in her arms. “Also, don’t go out to dinner with Auntie Paige and Uncle Walter. Walt’s not a great conversationalist in a social setting.”

Addie looks up at her like she understands what Happy’s saying – Happy hopes she doesn’t understand what she’s saying – and grabs at Happy’s hand.

“I love you, Addie Grace,” Happy says quietly. “Even when I’m a teeny bit hungover.”

Addie pushes her legs at Happy’s arm and squeezes her hand, which Happy takes as, “I love you too, Mom, even when you make stupid decisions.”


	37. Addie, 5 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scorpion is a tough job, and so is being part of a family. So putting the two of them together? It can cause you to focus too much on one and not enough on the other.

Happy wakes up to hear Addie babbling and talking to herself into the baby monitor.

“Addie, are you an early bird?” Happy groans. “Because you can sleep late. That’s totally fine. You can take after me on this one.”

Addie squeals at whatever she’s got in front of her – probably something on her wall – and Happy stands up, walking into Addie’s nursery. And then she notices that it’s four in the morning.

“Addie Grace, you’re going to be the death of me.” But when Happy watches the elation on Addie’s face when she spots Happy and wiggles all over the place in excitement, Happy thinks all the late nights and early mornings are worth it. “You’re absurdly cute, you know that?”

She picks Addie up and feels her heart melt when Addie cuddles into her shoulder. She starts babbling again, something nonsensical that still seems to convey a certain happiness.

“I love you too, baby girl,” Happy says, kissing the top of Addie’s head. She decides to settle in the rocking chair, because Addie can’t possibly be awake for the day. She’s wrong. Addie only gets more excited as the chair rocks back and forth, trying to sit up in Happy’s lap and grab at the boxers Happy stole from Toby and wore to bed.

Happy yawns and Addie shoves her hair in Happy’s mouth. Happy sputters in shock, pulling the teeny tiny hand out of her mouth.

“What the heck was that?” Happy asks. Addie giggles and pats at Happy’s face a couple of times. “I’d be annoyed, but ever since that first time you puked all over me I’m a lot more forgiving about bodily fluids.”

Happy starts to play along with whatever game Addie is going for, which seems to consist of trying to put her hand in Happy’s mouth or face or nose or ear. It doesn’t seem all that entertaining, but the unbelievable glee in Addie’s laughter makes Happy think she’s missing something.

“You’re cute, aren’t you,” Happy says. She runs her hand along Addie’s head. “You’re losing some hair, though, kiddo. Are you going to go bald?” She kisses Addie’s head again. “You’re going to look just like your dad did when he was a baby.”

The door to Addie’s nursery swing open slowly. “You,” Toby says, bleary eyed, “are so loud.”

Addie squeals in delight when she sees Toby.

“I was talking to your mother,” Toby says pointedly.

“Oh, crap,” Happy says. “Baby monitor.”

“Baby monitor,” Toby confirms. Addie reaches up for him and he swoops down and grabs her, peppering kisses all over her onesie-clad tummy. “Good morning, my beautiful girl!”

Happy yawns and stretches. “Well, while I’m up, I’m going for a run.” She pulls her hair back in a ponytail, tying it with the elastic she keeps around her wrist. “You good with Addie for a while?”

Toby pouts. “Addie and Daddy want to go with Mommy.”

Happy sighs. “Fine. But you better keep up.”

Toby doesn’t keep up. Happy’s the one pushing the baby stroller, but Toby’s gasping about fifty feet behind her, making a disturbing croaking sound.

“Doc, you dying back there?” Happy asks. She shoots him a grin – she’s done a lot in her life, but nothing but the adrenaline of driving too fast on an empty road beats the endorphin rush of a good run. They’re two miles in at this point, and Addie’s spent most of the time putting an ice cube in her mouth and drooling it out. They’ve dropped six of them so far. Toby's only slipped on two of them.

“Happy,” Toby groans, “Happy, you’re too fast.” He slows to a stop, leaning his hands on his legs. “Happy, I’m so old.”

“You’re not old,” Happy replies, jogging backwards while she pulls the stroller with her. “You’re just not in shape. We can walk, though.”

Toby pouts. “Now you’re just rubbing it in.”

“Correct,” Happy replies, pushing Addie like it’s nothing. “Now get your ass moving, old man,” Happy says. As Toby walks by, she smacks his butt. Toby lets out an absurd squeak.

“What the hell was that?” he asks, grinning at her.

“You weren’t moving,” Happy replies, adjusting her ponytail as Toby takes the stroller. “So I figured I’d get you going.”

“You always get me going,” Toby says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Happy sighs. “Weirdo.”

“Sugar plum.”

They take another fifteen minutes to finish the last half mile to their house, moving slowly as they chat. Toby takes the stroller as Happy holds Addie, pointing out everything that they walk past.

“You know, you spent a lot of time making fun of me for talking about everything to her,” Toby says, pausing to chug from his water bottle, “and now you’re doing it.”

“She likes it when I talk,” Happy replies, and Addie repeats her game of shoving her hand in Happy’s mouth. Happy sputters as she pulls Addie’s hand out, and Addie’s laughter is infectious.

“Our kid is damn perfect,” Toby says, opening the door for Happy as she carries in the folded stroller. “You know that?”

“Of course I do, don’t be an idiot,” Happy replies.

Addie starts her hungry cry by the time they get into the apartment, and has her second breakfast while Toby takes his shower. He’s still in there by the time Addie’s done and sleepy, and she opens the door to the bathroom once Addie’s asleep in her bed.

“Hap, if you’re jumping in the shower with me after putting our daughter to sleep and after going on a family walk, you’re fulfilling all my most domestic fantasies in one morning,” Toby says as Happy closes the door. “So if you’re a murderer who isn’t Happy, just go home.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

But she peels off her clothes and steps into the shower without a half second’s hesitation, pulling Toby down for a kiss as the warm water floods over her skin. They distract each other for what is probably too long – they have a job, and a kid, and responsibilities, but getting lost in each other happens so infrequently that when it happens, they jump on the opportunity. Toby takes his time washing Happy’s hair. It’s something that completely knocks Happy out, makes her knees a little weak.

Their shower is left behind in favor of falling into bed together, still covered in water and soaking their comforter, but they’ll take care of it later that day. It’s short but sweet, peppered with kisses and quiet laughter so they don’t wake Addie.

“You’re getting good at doing this fast,” Happy says as Toby kisses her neck.

“I’ve got to be,” Toby replies, “not like we have all that much time anymore.” He collapses back on the bed. “But you still blow my mind.”

“Yeah?” Happy laughs. “Not surprised.”

Toby kisses her shoulder and pushes himself up. “Alright. Now I actually have to go rinse the soap out of my hair, because someone,” he stares down at Happy, “distracted me.”

“Oh, don’t act like you weren’t totally hoping I’d jump in the shower,” Happy shoots back.

“Blah, blah, go ahead, keep being right,” Toby calls from the bathroom. It’s loud enough for Addie to startle herself awake with a cry.

“Oh, brilliant,” Happy says. “I got her.”

“Thank you!”

Happy pulls on the first clothes she finds, a pair of neon green boxers and one of Toby’s absurd graphic tee shirts from the 00s, and walks into Addie’s room. She’s rolling herself over and over, throwing an absolute fit.

“What?” Happy asks, planting her hands on her hips. She realizes in that moment how much of a parent pose it is, and drops her hands. “Oh, god, I’m such a mom.” She reaches down and picks Addie up, and Addie immediately calms. “You just want to hang out with us, don’t you?” Happy sighs. “Alright. Come on.”

She sets Addie down on her play mat and settles down next to Addie. Addie is babbling very emphatically about something, and Happy talks back to her about nothing.

“Yes, I do think we should have pizza for dinner,” Happy says definitively. “That’s a great idea, Addie. And we’re getting my pizza tonight instead of Daddy’s, because Hawaiian pizza is an embarrassment to pizza as a concept.”

She hears the shower shut off just as Toby’s ringtone starts blaring across the apartment.

“I got it!” Toby yells. And then she sees a glowing white ass dart across their apartment into their bedroom.

Happy looks down at Addie, who has rolled over to her back. “Your dad is really weird, Addie. I really hope you didn't inherit that.”

Addie drools and giggles.

“Okay, maybe you did.”

Toby walks out, sighing. “Yeah, Walt, I just got out of the shower. It’s going to be a couple of minutes.” He pauses. “No, not like twenty. More like sixty.” He mocks smacking his head against the wall. “Don’t be a dick, O’Brien. We’ll be there at 8:30. Yes, I know that’s our normal work time. Oh, my god.” He hangs up.

“Wrong number?” Happy quips.

“We’re needed,” Toby says. “As soon as possible.”

“Alright,” Happy says, picking Addie up and swinging her into Toby’s arms. “I’ll go finish my shower. Be out in a minute.”

When she steps out of the shower, Toby and Addie are dressed, and Addie’s got her stuffed giraffe in her mouth.

“That was six minutes and five seconds,” Toby says. Addie gurgles in response.

“I can’t believe you’re timing me now,” Happy grumbles.

They’re all dressed and have everything together in record time until Addie has a complete diaper blowout as they’re literally walking out the door.

Toby’s shoulders fall. “Oh, baby girl, you’re cute but you are gross.” He looks at Happy. “Rock paper scissors for this one?”

They do. Happy loses. “Damn it,” she mutters, picking Addie up carefully and praying there won’t be a mess to clean up in the car seat. There isn’t. With the time it takes to give Addie a bath and get her into new clothes and get in the car, it’s 8:35.

“Oh, Walt’s gonna be pissed,” Happy says, sliding into the driver’s seat. Toby makes the final click of the car seat and leaps into the passenger side.

“Too bad,” Toby says. “It’s the baby. Comes with the contract.”

Happy scoffs. “I don’t remember a contract.”

Between a shockingly small amount of traffic and a few minor driving violations, they get to the garage in fifteen minutes.

“Hey, guys,” Toby says, practically bouncing into the garage. “How is everybody today?”

Happy gives him a look. “Dude, chill.”

“What?” He pouts. “Am I not allowed to be in a good mood?”

“No, you’re just acting like you’re on speed,” Happy replies.

“Somebody’s annoyingly cheery,” Cabe said. “Enjoy it while it lasts. We’ve got a problem.”

Happy watches Toby’s shoulders fall. “Well that didn’t last long.”

“Ah,” Walter says, looking important as he carries a box in. “You’re finally here.”

Happy holds Addie up in her car seat. “Blame the baby diaper explosion.”

Walter wrinkles his nose. “That’s unfortunate.”

They all get around the table as Walter opens the box.

“My bugs,” Happy says, feeling a little broken. She sets Addie down in her car seat, picks her up, and hands her to Toby. She pulls one out of the damaged bugs gently, cradling it in her hand. “What happened to my bugs?”

“That’s the problem,” Cabe says. “We don’t know.”

“How did we get them back?” Happy asks.

Paige raises her hand. “Me. I went back into the bar at, like, six this morning. Cabe and Walter brought me there – I went as the bartender picking up my first check. Nobody was in the room, so I just waltzed right in.”

“You didn’t call me?” Happy asks.

“If anybody from that night had seen you, you probably would have gotten made,” Paige clarifies. “Not exactly something we want to triage.”

“Right,” Happy says. “Good point. But what,” she looks down at the bugs, “happened?”

“Again,” Cabe says. “We don’t know. Got a call from Cooper at five this morning telling me that the files had been corrupted during the download she does every morning at four in the –”

“She gets up and does work at four in the morning?” Toby interrupts. “Who the hell does that?”

“Shut up,” Cabe says. “And, yes. So that means anything that had been recorded in the past 24 hours is not on our Homeland servers.” They all look down at the damaged bugs. Happy can practically hear them sizzling.

“Oh, this is going to be rough,” Happy sighs. “I’ll try to manually pull the files from the hard drive on these things. Once I’m done with that,” she shrugs. “We’ll do the next step.”

“You’re not going to ask anybody else for help?” Toby says.

“I designed these, so I know how to pull the information out,” Happy explains. “I can’t be sure you guys wouldn’t break it.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Sylvester grumbles.

“Look, you guys do whatever you need to do,” Happy says, leaning over to kiss Addie’s forehead. She picks up the box. “Once I’ve pulled everything I’ll let you know.”

It takes longer than it should have.

Happy sifts through in incredible amount of scrambled and half-damaged audio data, pulling out pieces of information that are nowhere near as stable as she’d hoped. For all she and Paige went through on that job, she’d hoped they’d get a little bit more information. Pulling the audio out took long enough, but parsing through data that was corrupted to an irreversible level and that which can be studied further adds another chunk of time.

She doesn’t realize how badly she’s been muttering to herself until Toby kisses her on the top of the head and says, “Bunny’s going down the rabbit hole.”

Happy practically jumps, and it’s only then that she realizes she’s been focused on this one job for nearly five hours. Coming out of it, she realizes she hasn’t fed Addie since noon – her chest is killing her.

“Where’s Addie?” Happy asks. “I haven’t fed her – I’ve been so wrapped up –”

“Don’t worry,” Toby assures her. “You had a couple of bottles in the fridge from yesterday – Addie’s down for a nap.” He studies her face. “You really were down the rabbit hole, weren’t you?”

Happy pulls off the headphones and drops them on the table. “Toby, I can’t handle this,” she sighs, dropping her head into her hands. “I have to go through each bug’s records three or four times, every single second, and I have to try and pull something out that’s useable to see if we can translate it.” She groans. “I must have messed up the design.”

“What?” Toby says. “No way. Could it have been the fire sprinklers? The ones that went off?”

Happy considers it. “Maybe,” she says quietly. “But the conversations up until last night were going fine. We heard everything. And then they just –” she cuts herself off. “Toby, what if they had a jammer?”

Toby’s eyes widen. “Would they work on your bugs?”

“Maybe,” she decides. She wants to jump in, start checking to see if the damage was from an EMP or another problem.

But then she remembers how absorbed she was, and how little she thought about anything but work for nearly a whole day. “I need to take a break,” Happy admits. “I’ll come back to this later.” She winces. “I have two problems I need to take care of.”

Toby nods, but Happy doesn’t miss the concern on his face.

The half hour of pumping, while not particularly fun, is long enough to get Happy’s head back on straight. Addie is sleeping soundly in her  They have a couple good weeks of audio, not particularly revealing audio, but audio nonetheless. If it comes to it, they could get these sleazebags for all the different ways they’ve cheated on their wives or done insider trading.

But somewhere, somehow, in the past twenty-four hours, the all the bugs got corrupted in the same way. The audio can be pulled with Happy’s technology and expertise, but it still shouldn’t have been able to happen. They’re her bugs – there must have been some serious tech to mess with them.

When Happy walks out of the curtained off room, pushing a still-sleeping Addie in her little stroller, Walter and Toby are studying her computer.

“What are you two doing?” she demands, setting Addie’s bottles in the fridge and putting her machine on her desk. She parks Addie next to Happy’s work space. “That’s my work.”

“Toby mentioned to me that you were extremely involved in pulling useable files from the bugs,” Walter replies. “I wanted to take a look. See if I could help.”

“What, you don’t trust me?” she asks.

Toby looks horrified. “What? No!” he replies. “I just think there’s been a lot of stress in the past day and the fact that you zoned out for five hours means you need to take a step back.” He nods to the computer station. “You’ve already done the hard part of pulling apart the recordings. Let us listen to them and finish the job.”

Happy wants to argue with them, but they’re right, and she knows it. She’s never zoned out like that, not since she joined Scorpion, and she can only imagine what that must have looked like to Toby.

She’s also a little concerned that she spent five hours without thinking about Addie or Toby.

“Yeah, okay,” Happy mumbles, stepping away from them. “I’ll go check on the bugs again. See if there’s anything in there regarding the hardware.”

“You’ve looked through them thirty times,” Toby says. “I watched you. I counted.”

“Then I’ll do it a thirty first time, and completely pull them apart piece by piece,” Happy replies. She grabs the four bugs they managed to get back from the bar and settles them on her desk, right next to where Addie is sleeping.

“Hey, Addie Grace,” Happy says, feeling a little tug in her heart. She doesn’t like the idea of forgetting about Addie – hates it, really – and wants to apologize. She doesn’t know what that would even look like.

Addie wiggles and wakes up, and when she smiles at Happy, Happy’s practically paralyzed.

“You’re awake, baby girl,” Happy says, sighing. “Oh, I’m so sorry I zoned out,” she says. She picks Addie up and sets her on her lap. “You’re going to be right here with me while we look at these fun toys, okay? You can help me.” She frowns. “Just don’t eat any of the metal, okay?”

Addie gurgles and coos.

“Yes, I’m taking that as you understand,” Happy replies.

She talks to Addie as she grabs her tools and pulls apart the bugs, explaining every move she makes and showing Addie how the tools work. “And you have to be really careful with the wires,” Happy explains, pointing with her tweezers, “because if you pull one, you can ruin the whole thing.” Addie pats Happy’s hand. “Yes, gentle. Good job.”

It’s not until she’s dismantled the third bug that Happy figures it out.

“No way,” she says quietly. “Oh, crap.”

She settles Addie on her hip and walks over to Walter. “Did you guys see the bugs?”

“Well, yeah,” Toby says. “What do you mean?”

“They got wet again,” Happy explains. “The ones that were on the two people we knew were going to get damaged, right?”

Toby nods, but it’s clear he’s not following as much. Walter has the same confusion on his face.

“Just hear me out,” Happy explains. “On a wall or something we didn’t expect them to get damaged, but somebody spilled something sticky on them. Like a drink or something.”

“Oh all of them?” Walter asks. “That’s unexpected.”

“What were they doing right when the coms shorted out?” Happy asks. It’s the one piece of data she could hear – an unmistakable pop that came clear through the scrambled data.

Toby’s eyes widen as he follows Happy’s train of thought. “Holy shit,” he says, “they were popping champagne and got it all over the room. That’s what that weird pop was.” He turns to Walter. “Whatever they were celebrating, that’s what screwed up the bugs.”

“That is incredibly wasteful,” Walter says, frowning.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Happy replies. “But that’s why half the audio is screwed up. My bugs are water proof, but they’re not alcohol proof. Just enough of the bubbly soaked into hardware to damage it.” She looks down at the tech in her hand. “It wasn’t them being better than me. It was them being drunk idiots.”

“What are our next steps, then?” Walter asks. “Can we pull apart any more of the data?”

Happy shrugs. “No idea,” she says. “I’ve already split the audio into as many pieces as possible to block out the fuzziness, but I’m not the one here with the good ears. I’d call somebody else in to do that. I think you guys just have to keep listening and hoping you can get something out of it.”

“If only Tim were here,” Walter sighs. “Let’s call in Paige. She’ll probably be able to piece out what people are saying along with the tone of their voices.”

“I’ll listen, too,” Toby says. “I can probably fill in some of the blanks.” He shoots Happy a smile. “Nice work, Hap.”

Happy shrugs. “My bugs failed, so I had to fix them.”

Toby groans. “Oh, my god,” he says. “Addie, baby, tell your mom that she just saved the day even with her bugs not working the whole time.”

Addie giggles.

“See? She wants you to lighten up.” Toby leans in and kisses the top of Addie’s head. “You guys go off and hang out with Sly. Help him with his – with his whatever he’s doing.”

Happy, Addie, and Sylvester end up working through some paperwork for a few hours, and it’s mindless enough that they can joke around while doing it. Addie’s curled up on Sylvester’s lap and, when she’s hungry, Sylvester asks to give her a bottle.

“Anything I can do to help,” he says, smiling. And Addie positively adores him, her eyes locked on him as she drinks her bottle and rests her hand on his arm.

“She loves you,” Happy says, putting some finishing touches on a report for a case they finished ages ago.

Sylvester shrugs, but there’s a bit of pride in his voice when he says, “She’s pretty great.”

She thinks of it all the time, constantly, but, god, is Happy glad for the family she’s found.

“How are you guys doing over there?” Happy asks, finishing up her last report. “Almost done?”

“Shh!” Paige exclaims. “We’ve listened to the same eight second clip eighteen times trying to figure something out.”

“Nineteen times,” Toby corrects. “This is the nineteenth time I’ve heard, ‘Garble garble get it to garble unless bay-garble barble.’ We’re not getting anything out of it.”

“We’re going to get something out of this,” Paige says, smacking Toby on the arm. “Stop whining and get it together, Doc.”

Toby sighs. “Give me my baby,” he decides. “I need something good to hold onto.”

Happy settles Addie into his arms and Addie looks just as involved in the project as Toby and Paige.

“So, now that we’re babyless,” Happy says. “What else do we do?”

Sylvester shrugs. “Kind of hungry. Should we make dinner?”

“We probably shouldn’t,” Happy says pointedly, looking through the cabinets in the garage. “But we don’t have much else to do.”

Sylvester and Happy spend the next forty-five minutes doing their best to make a decent dinner for everybody else. Walter ended up being the scribe for everything Paige and Toby noted from the audio, Cabe had gone back to Homeland sometime during Happy’s rabbit hole trip, trying to sort through the meaningful clean audio and the clean audio that didn’t have anything to do with what they were searching for, and Ralph was still at school.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sylvester asks quietly. They’re halfway through some bizarre soup that’s probably closer to chili than anything else.

“Yeah, of course,” Happy replies. She stops rocking – she keeps rocking even when Addie’s not in her arms. It’s getting annoying. “Why?”

Sylvester’s quiet, but there’s clearly a war going on behind his eyes. “You’re good now,” he explains, “but when you were involved in the audio. You kind of scared us for a while there.”

Happy frowns. “What do you mean?”

“You were either silent or muttering to yourself for five straight hours,” Sylvester says. “All of us tried to call your name or say something, but it wasn’t until Toby walked up to you that you realized anything was going on outside of the technology.” He looks down and stirs the chili. “We were worried.”

Happy puts the dressing in the salad, not meeting Sylvester’s eyes. “I’m okay.”

“I know you’re okay now,” Sylvester replies. “But there’s always a chance that one of us will get so involved in our work that we’re down the rabbit hole for good.” He smiles at Happy. “And you’re the one who gets us out when we get stuck.”

“I think any of us would take care of that,” Happy explains. “But thanks. For worrying about me.”

Sylvester nods. “Any time.”

Addie starts making noises on Toby’s lap, wiggling and mouthing at his shoulder.

“Hap, I think she’s hungry again,” Toby says, taking off his headphones. “Also, we’re on another eight second soundbite, so I’m not as insane as I was.”

Happy raises an eyebrow as she takes Addie. “Let’s see how long that lasts.” Happy excuses herself from helping with dinner and brings Addie into the curtained off area to feed Addie her own dinner.

“Hey, baby girl,” Happy says quietly. “Let’s hope I didn’t pump myself to death, okay?”

It seems she didn’t – Addie seems perfectly content and sleepy before long. By the time Happy walks out, Toby and Paige are both laying on the floor, looking wiped out.

“Did they die?” Happy asks, confused. “What’s going on?”

“Laying on the ground is good for your back when you’ve been sitting for a long time,” Toby replies. “Also, this is as far away from my seat as I could get without walking.” He glares at Happy’s audio equipment with impressive venom. “I never want to analyze audio again in my lie.”

“You’re telling me,” Paige replies, dropping an arm over her eyes. “You’re making dinner, right? I need to eat a house after that.”

“As do I,” Walter replies. He shakes out his hands. “I think my hands are cramping.”

“You didn’t have to listen to the same pieces of garbled talking over and over again,” Paige shoots back at him.

“Yeah, but I had to listen to you whine.”

Happy watches Toby’s eyes widen in horror as Paige turns to Walter. “Excuse me?” Paige says flatly.

Happy, Toby, and Sylvester silently scoot away, Toby practically sliding his ass across the floor to get out of there.

“I did not express myself adequately,” Walter says, sounding horrified.

“Hide,” Toby says. “Hide the children.”

Happy knows just enough about relationships to know that starting a fight right after working that hard is going to go badly, so they all sort of hide in the kitchen to avoid any shrapnel.

“Chili?” Sylvester asks over the sound of Walter doing a terrible job of defending himself.

“Did he really just ask Paige if she expects him to listen to all of her complaints?” Toby asks, looking distressed. “That’s just begging for a disaster.”

“Let’s eat dinner,” Sylvester says pointedly, reaching up for a bowl. “Should I scoop some for Paige and Walter?”

“I’m not sure we want to give them any projectiles,” Happy says. She starts bouncing Addie, because the kid’s starting to screw her face up in an annoyed sort of way, and they don’t need anybody else having a temper tantrum.

“What do you mean, I’m emotionally constipated?!” Walter exclaims.

“I’m going for a walk,” Toby says, stepping toward the back door. “For a long time. Care to join?”

“But the chili,” Sylvester says mournfully.

Paige says something that sounds disturbingly close to a reference to her and Walter’s sex lives.

“Forget the chili,” Sylvester says, scrambling to turn off the stove. “We’re out of here.”


	38. Addie, 6 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domesticity and discussion of the future.

“We’re out of diapers,” Toby says. For a second Happy thinks she's dreaming, but then she realizes she couldn't be - she can feel Toby poking at her shoulder.

“Are not,” Happy replies, trying to fall back to sleep. “Check in Addie’s closet.”

“Not there.”

Happy groans and sits up. “If I find them, you have to stay up with me until she goes back to sleep.”

“They aren’t there,” Toby insists. Happy silently gets out of bed and shoots Toby a look as she walks into Addie’s room. Happy reaches down into the side of the closet and pulls out a massive box of diapers. “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius?”

“It’s four thirty in the morning,” Toby grumbles, “nobody’s a genius at four thirty in the morning.” He sits on Addie’s toy box. “God, I’m tired.”

“Oh, now I’m changing her?” Happy says, raising an eyebrow.

“I let you sleep while I fed her half an hour ago!” Toby pouts. “And I’m already sitting. It makes more sense for you to do it.”

She cracks open the box and pulls out a diaper, pulling Addie’s onesie off as Addie babbles as if she's chatting away. “You know what I should invent?” Happy says, feeling drowsy. “A self-changing diaper.”

Toby blinks. “What?”

“Self-changing diaper,” Happy repeats. “It probably wouldn’t work, because, you know, babies get into everything. But the sheer number of times I do this in a week is higher than my IQ.”

Toby beams at her. “Have I told you lately that I love you?” he says.

“Probably,” Happy says, grinning at him. She blows a raspberry on Addie’s tummy as she finishes up the diaper, and Addie coos and squeals with delight. “It’s pretty warm,” Happy muses. “Addie Grace, you don’t need clothes to go back to sleep, do you?”

Addie grabs at Happy’s hand and pulls it into her mouth.

“That’s a yes,” Happy says with an eye roll. “You weirdo.”

Addie giggles as she drools around Happy’s finger.

“Come on, kiddo,” Happy says, picking Addie up and propping her on her hip. “Let’s see if you'll fall asleep with some bouncing.”

Addie babbles, leans forward, and proceeds to bite Happy on the cheek.

“No biting!” Happy says, pushing her off. Addie leans in again and drops her open mouth against Happy’s cheek. “Okay, better.”

Toby’s looking at them like he’s seeing the sun for the first time. “I love you two so much,” he says, sounding smitten.

“Which is hilarious, because I’m covered in drool, half delirious from sleep deprivation, and your daughter just bit me,” Happy deadpans.

He beams at them. “Yeah, I know.”

Happy sits down and, the second she sets Addie down, the baby sits up, looking around like she’s proud of herself.

“How long has she been able to sit up?” Toby asks, looking baffled. “When did that – how long – what?” He sits up and pulls his ratty little notebook out of his back pocket, writing the date and time down.

Happy looks over at Addie, because she’s not sure when that started, either. “Why is she so good at everything?”

“Because she takes after her mom,” he replies.

Happy’s first instinct is to say something sardonic or biting back, because that’s always been her response, but instead she just thinks about where they’ve gotten after all this time. She looks over at Addie, who is chewing on one of the teething flowers hanging off of the baby mat, and then to Toby, who is watching Addie with the kind of unwavering, unconditional love that Happy didn’t know existed until she met Toby and had Addie.

“Hey,” Happy says, “do you think we should get married?”

Toby loses balance where he’s sitting on Addie’s toy box, landing haphazardly on the floor. “What?”

“It would make things a little easier for Addie, I think,” Happy muses. “And with the legal crap we have to deal with in Scorpion I’m pretty sure ‘husband’ looks a little more official than ‘boyfriend.’” She pulls the teething ring closer so Addie can chew on it better, and then turns to Toby. “What do you think?”

“I think that’s the least impressive proposal in the history of proposals,” Toby says, sitting up so he’s right across from Happy and Addie. “Also, I wanted to do that.”

“Do what?” Happy asks, watching Addie reach over to Toby. He picks her up and helps her toddle toward him, and once he lets go she slowly falls right onto one of his thighs. She wraps her arms around Toby’s leg and laughs, babbling some sort of baby talk against his pajama pants.

“Propose,” Toby explains. “That’s my thing. I’m the grand gesture guy.”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “Did you have plans for that right now?”

“Not right now, but eventually,” he says. “With work and Addie I figured I’d wait until things slowed down a little bit.”

Happy nods. “In that case,” she decides, “you can ask me next time. Whenever you feel like it.”

“And you’re going to say yes?” he asks, picking Addie up. He bends his knees and sits her on top of them, letting her balance with his hands steady on either side of her to make sure she can’t fall.

Happy shrugs, grinning. “If I told you, you wouldn’t ask.”

Toby grins, bouncing Addie. “What do you think, baby girl?” he asks Addie as she reaches out and wraps her chubby little hands around one of his fingers. “Does Mommy want to marry me?”

Addie grins and lets drool run down her cheek. Happy mops it up with a baby shirt she found on the ground.

“That,” Toby says, letting Addie slide down his knees to land on her feet. She giggles with excitement, so he repeats the movement, “is a yes.” He pulls Addie back up against his chest, and she hugs him around the neck. “And it’s going to be the best proposal anyone’s ever seen.”

Addie practically climbs Toby’s leg until she stands up, balancing herself as she leans against his chest until her legs start to wobble and Toby steadies her.

“She’s standing,” Toby says, looking proud. “Look at this kid go.”

“Good job, Addie Grace,” Happy says, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. Toby catches her around the waist and pulls her close. Addie giggles and snuggles against Happy’s chest, and in that moment Happy thinks she’s never been happier.

“We should all just take a nap here,” Happy says, leaning against Toby’s chest with Addie resting against her shoulder. “How’s that sound, sweetheart? Nap time?”

Addie shakes her head, but even as she does so her eyes are drooping.

“How about this,” Toby suggests, “we all go take a nap in the big bed together.”

Addie squirms and wiggles, which they both take as a yes, and Happy’s so exhausted she’s ready to pass out before Addie. She’s usually able to keep it together, pretend she’s not exhausted, but when the opportunity presents itself Happy immediately gets hit with the sleepy stick.

Of course, Addie chooses her chest to fall asleep on.

“She’s your daughter, too,” Happy mumbles when Addie’s breathing has steadied to sleep. “Why doesn’t she sleep on you?”

Toby snuggles up to the two of them and gently, pulls Addie so she’s resting between them.

“You always go on about how this is unsafe,” Happy mumbles, half ready to fall asleep.

“Only if both parents are sleeping,” Toby says, and Happy watches as he gently runs his thumb along Addie’s shoulder. It’s cooler in their bedroom than it was in Addie’s nursery, and she shivers for a second. Without a second thought, Toby pulls the blanket up over the three of them. “Go to bed, love. I’ll make sure you don’t roll over and squish her.”

Happy nods, “Good night,” she says quietly, “again.” She lets sleep wash over her as Addie curls her fingers around Happy’s hand.

~

She wakes up way too soon to hear Addie crying and Toby saying, “Hap, that’s her hungry cry and we’re out of bottles.”

“Yup,” Happy says, blinking. “I got it. I’m good.”

She sits up and feeds Addie half asleep, her brain feeling like fog.

“Hey, am I awake right now?” she asks. “I liked napping. I don’t think I’m awake.”

“You should be,” Toby says. “Your eyes are open and you’re sitting up.”

Happy groans. “Being awake is terrible.”

Toby leans over and presses a kiss to her temple. “The things we do for our daughter.”

“Hey, if you need to,” Happy says, after enough time passes that she isn’t convinced she’s about to fall asleep by accident, “you can sleep while I hang out with her. I think I can work on those reports while she plays in her bouncer.”

Toby shakes his head. “No, you sleep,” Toby insists. “You barely slept the last few nights.”

“I’m fine,” Happy argues, but her massive yawn betrays her. “Okay,” she concedes. “I might need to sleep again.”

“Good choice, Mom,” Toby says in the ridiculous voice he uses for Addie’s voice. Going back to his normal voice, he says, “I’ll get some of my peer reviews done. She likes to talk to me while she bounces around, and she’s got some good ideas.”

“Toby,” says Happy as Addie wraps her fingers around Happy’s thumb, “she’s six months old.”

“She talks!” Toby insists. “She does this babbling thing – they aren’t real words. They’re baby words. But they mean something to her.”

Happy considers it. “Well,” she says, “I was talking at seven months. You think she’ll start earlier?”

Toby shrugs. “No idea. Seven months for speaking is the earliest I’ve ever heard, honestly. It happens for different kids at different times.”

“So,” Happy says, voicing her concerns for the first time, “it’s not a bad thing that she hasn’t said anything yet?”

Toby shakes his head. “Like I said, she does the baby babbling. That’s normal for this age.”

“But she’s our kid,” Happy insists. “Normal probably isn’t going to be what we’ll be seeing with her, is it?”

Toby gives her this look, something a little different from the Doctor look. It’s almost more like a Husband look.

This startles her.

“No,” Toby says, “but we don’t need to worry about her quite yet. She’s meeting and exceeding all milestones already.” He leans in and kisses her. “We don’t need to start worrying.”

Addie’s got enough energy to run a marathon when she’s done with breakfast, and she claps and drums against Happy’s leg.

“Want some music, princess?” Toby asks her, tickling Addie’s tummy. She giggles and claps more. Toby sweeps Addie into his arms, spinning her around. “We’ll go listen while Mommy sleeps, okay?” He sends Happy a smile. “Sleep well, sugar plum.”

Happy waves him off, but she’s asleep the moment her head hits the pillow.

When she wakes up, the house is buzzing with noise. She walks into the living room to see Addie sitting in her high chair, banging on something that looks like pancake batter, but harder, while Toby sings Queen to her from the stove.

“Good morning,” Happy says, yawning. “What time is it?”

“Ten-thirty,” Toby replies. “I got all my paperwork done. On a Saturday. While you napped.”

“Apparently I was tired,” Happy replies. She walks over to Addie, who giggles as she smacks at the puddle of goo. “Hey, honey.”

Addie blows a bubble.

“Toby, what’s she playing with?” Happy asks. She pokes at it, and watches in horror her finger sinks in, but Addie’s hand just pounds against it. “What the hell?”

“It’s cornstarch, water, and food coloring,” Toby explains as he pours something into the pan. “Addie insisted on the purple.”

Happy pokes at it again. “This is really weird. How does it do that?”

Toby shrugs. “No idea. Physics is your domain. But it’s a great sensory tool.” He nods to Addie. “She’s been entertained with it for an hour.”

“Really?” Happy asks. “That’s impressive.”

“Try hitting it,” Toby suggests. “It gets all stiff.” Happy does so. “Now pick it up and let it just rest in your hands.” Happy’s skeptical, but she picks up a handful of the stuff and watches it melt through her fingertips. Addie reaches out and squeals in delight when it drips on her hands.

“This is weird,” Happy mutters, reaching out a leg to pull a chair close for her to sit in. “But I can’t stop playing with it.”

When she looks up again, Toby’s looking at her a little sadly.

“What’s wrong?” Happy asks as Addie pats at the goo in her palm.

“I just forget sometimes that you didn’t get the childhood every kid deserves,” and Toby looks so sad that Happy wonders if she should be miserable too.

“Yeah, well,” she settles on saying, “I’m not letting any of that happen to my girl, right Addie?”

Addie leans forward and grabs Happy’s face with her goo-covered hands, and Happy can’t help but laugh.

“See?” she says as Addie squishes her face with the biggest grin in the world. “I’m good now.”

“I sure hope so,” says Toby. “Because I made dinner and I’m hoping it’ll be good.”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “You hope?”

“New recipe,” Toby explains. “Well, old recipe technically.” He leans over and picks up the bright red cook book he’s been obsessed with ever since they found out they were expecting Addie. “Making margherita pasta.”

Happy nods as she watches Addie drizzle the purple goo all over her hands. “Hey, can we store this stuff or something? I don’t want to have to throw it away. Addie really likes it.” She leans forward and kisses Addie’s nose. “Don’t you, Addie Grace.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Toby says, stirring the pasta. “It takes, like, twenty-five cents and thirty seconds to make.” He’s grinning at her. “But I think you might like it just as much as she does.”

“Maybe,” Happy agrees. “Nothing wrong with it.”

“You just have fun over there,” Toby says, “while I slave over a hot stove and make my girls the best dinner ever.”

“Oh, be quiet,” Happy says. “Do you know where Addie’s puffs are? She looks like she's getting hungry."

“She had, like, four hundred of them earlier,” Toby says. “What the hell is in that stuff, anyway? It’s like baby crack.”

“It is baby crack,” Happy counters. “And they don’t even taste that good.”

“They taste,” Toby says, sliding the pasta into two bowls, “like dust. I really don’t get it. Children have weird taste.” He starts humming Third Eye Blind, and Addie starts bouncing in her chair, delightedly slapping the tray of her high chair.

“Really?” Happy asks. “90’s angst pop?”

“It’s not angst pop!” Toby argues. “You listen to angst pop.”

“You used to cry to Iris,” Happy says pointedly.

Addie starts to fuss, pouting adorably.

“I want something else,” Toby sings, wiggling his butt as he dances.

“You can’t dance,” Happy says, but she pulls out her phone and puts the album on. “Also, should we be playing a song about crystal meth addiction for our daughter?”

He shrugs, dancing at the stove while Addie claps to the beat, which, in Happy’s opinion, seems a little advanced.

“Doin’ crystal meth will lift you up until you break,” Toby sings along. “Okay, you’ve got a point. We should keep a closer eye on lyrics.”

Happy tries to keep a straight face as she pulls up Iris on her phone, the first few notes sinking into Toby.

“How dare you,” he says.

Happy grins at him. “Are you going to cry to your angst pop?” she asks. Addie is grinning, giggles pouring out of her as she bangs her hands on the table.

“And I don’t want the world to see me,” Toby sings, and he still knows every lyric. Addie starts pushing at the tray, so Happy pulls her out so she can dance along.

She bounces in Happy’s arms, dancing around as Happy rocks her. The playlist, something built on Spotify for people more musically inclined than they are, plays another Goo Goo Dolls song, Slide, and Toby knows every lyric to this one, too.

“Are you like a Goo Goo Dolls fangirl or something?” Happy asks as he uses the spatula and the spoon to expertly tap out the drumline. Addie watches him for a second and then follows, patting Happy’s shoulder with each beat.

“Yeah,” Toby replies. “And? Our kid seems to be too.”

Happy rolls her eyes, but she keeps watching the way Addie bounces to the beat. “Should she be able to do all of this?”

Toby shrugs, stirring the pasta sauce. “Got no clue. This is my first time on Dad duty, you know.”

Happy shrugs, happy Addie’s having fun. “You like music, don’t you, my girl?”

Addie giggles and presses her face against Happy’s cheek, drooling all over her. “Delightful.”


	39. Addie, 7 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With great babies come great responsibilities. Like baby proofing apartments and garages.

Happy’s in the middle of making toast when she feels something tug at her pajama bottoms.

“What are you –” And then she sees Addie, smiling up at her from where she’s resting on her hands and knees. “Uh oh.”

Addie makes her way around the kitchen with such surprising speed that Happy drops the butter knife on the table and darts after her, picking her up before she can book it out the front door.

“When did you start doing that?” Happy asks Addie. She giggles and pats the sides of Happy’s face. “Yes, I know you’re cute. But when did you start crawling?” Another coo. “You are a confusing baby, you know that?”

“Why is she confusing this time?” Toby asks. He’s scrubbing his hair with a towel. “She bite you again?”

Happy shakes her head. “No. Watch this.” She sets Addie on the kitchen floor. Instead of crawling, Addie just smiles up at Toby with a minimally toothy grin. “Come on, Addie,” Happy cajoles. “Time to crawl. Yeah?”

Addie giggles and shoves her hand in her mouth.

“She was crawling, I swear,” Happy says, turning to Toby. “Actually crawling.”

“Let’s try something.” Toby grabs the container of baby puffs from the counter and scoops Addie up in his other arm. Addie squeals in excitement when she sees the baby puffs and reaches out to the box. “Oh, not yet, baby girl,” Toby says, kissing Addie on the nose. “We’re going to see how motivated you are to get these puffs.”

Addie fusses and reaches, making agonized noises until it grows into an all out wail.

“Oh, calm down, baby girl, you can get the puffs if you try your best.” Toby sets Addie down on the living room floor and places the puffs about five feet away from her. He lay down next to her. “Now, go baby girl! Get your puffs!”

Happy does her best not to laugh when Addie squeals in annoyance. She slaps the floor.

“Oh, she’s mad at you,” Happy says. She sits down on Addie’s other side. “Kind of interested to see how this goes.”

“It’ll go brilliantly,” Toby insists. “Babies just need a little motivation sometimes, that’s all.”

Addie makes a hilariously rage-filled wail as she pounds the floor with her tiny hands.

“Brilliantly, huh?” Happy asks, leaning against the door jamb.

“It’ll work,” Toby insists. “I did a rotation in the pediatric ward – babies were my favorite to hang out with because their behavior was so predictably unpredictable. And they’re cute.” Addie makes that irritated wail again. “But not as cute as my little girl.” Toby leans in and sprinkles kisses all over Addie’s face, and she starts giggling wildly. “That’s my girl!”

They keep trying Toby’s brilliant idea, but apparently their daughter is more stubborn than they realized. Time and time again Addie would reach for the puffs but then refuse to do anything more to get them. She won't crawl.

“I give up,” Toby says, leaning against the back of the couch. “Crawling is not for adults. My knees hurt, my legs hurt. I think I reawakened my hip injury from high school.”

“You were ten years old in high school!” Happy says, laughing at him. “What kind of hip injury could you have possibly gotten?”

Toby flops down on the carpet in front of Addie. “It might have been from falling off the monkey bars at the park after school.”

“That sounds about right,” Happy replies. She crawls over to Addie and props her chin up in her hands. “Hey, kid.”

Addie flops down like Toby did so she’s on her back on the carpet.

“Just like your father,” Happy mumbles. Addie yawns and stretches, little arms and legs going all over the place.

“You’re sleepy, aren’t you?” Happy asks, gathering Addie up in her arms. Addie relaxes against Happy’s shoulder, mouthing at the collar of her shirt lazily. “That’s a yes.”

“Nap time before park time!” Toby announces. “Up you get, girls.”

“I’m sleeping too, by the way,” Happy says. “She was incredibly fussy last night and demanded she nurse three times.”

Toby frowns. “That’s weird. She’s down to twice a night now.”

Happy nods. “Growth spurt?”

“Growth spurt,” Toby confirms. “But I’ll put her down.”

Happy conks out in bed until Toby wakes her up an hour later.

“She did it!” Toby exclaims, bouncing Addie in his arms. “She crawled.”

“Did not,” Happy mumbles, barely even opening her eyes. “You’re just trying to gauge if I made it up or not.”

Toby frowns, setting Addie down in bed. She crawls into Addie’s arm and snuggles there, content. “When did you learn to read people like I do?”

“Since you moved into my house and knocked me up,” Happy replies, closing her eyes again. “Now shush. My baby and I need to sleep.”

Toby flops onto the bed next to them. “Maybe Daddy needs to sleep too.”

“Daddy woke Mommy up, so he can shut up,” Happy says. “What time is it?”

“Twelve-thirty,” Toby says, checking his phone. He holds Addie’s hand gently and she curls her fingers around his thumb. “We’ve got two hours before we need to meet up at the park.”

Happy rolls over. “I really hate how we can’t get ready in thirty seconds anymore.”

“Why?”

“Because I could sleep for another hour and fifty minutes back then.” Happy hugs Addie. “Though, it’s definitely worth it.” She kisses Addie’s forehead. “She’s pretty cute.”

Addie begins to do her baby babble as she rolls over and pats Happy’s face.

“How are you so goddamn adorable?” Happy asks her. “Seriously. This is ridiculous.”

“Watch your language around the baby,” Toby singsongs, “we don’t know how much Addie is taking in.”

“Oh, can it, old man,” Happy says. “She’s fine.”

The three of them get to the kitchen, where Happy throws together a salad and Toby picks out specific foods to feed to Addie in tiny chunks.

“We’re going to try three things today, baby,” Toby says, kissing Addie’s forehead, “we have cucumber, blueberries, and honey dew melon. And you can pick whichever snack you like best, okay?”

Addie seems to like all of it best, but her favorite is the cucumber.

"Hey," Happy begins, "Toby, now that she's crawling, do you think we should start baby proofing this place?” Happy asks as Addie shoves her face full of cucumber chunks.

“Yeah, we should,” Toby says. “Honestly I’ve been hoping you’d say something, because every time I suggest a baby thing you think I’m paranoid and crazy.”

“No, I always think you're paranoid and crazy.” Happy punctuates with a kiss to his cheek. “But we’re supposed to bring Addie to the park with Ralph, Paige, and Walter in the next hour, so it’ll have to wait.”

The downpour that hits five minutes before they’re about to leave nips that plan in the bud.

“Yeah, it’s a hell of a rainstorm,” Paige says when Happy calls her, “but we’re basically by your place anyway, so we can swing by if you'd like.”

“You want to help us baby proof?” Happy asks. “Because that doesn’t sound appealing at all.”

“What really wasn’t appealing was cleaning you idiots up last week when you got everything dirtier during that underground chemical plant job than Addie in a mud puddle,” Paige deadpans. “Besides, Walter and Cabe had to stay behind to take care of some government paperwork. Baby proofing sounds a lot more fun that overseeing that mess.”

“Isn’t that your job?” Happy asks.

Paige is silent for a minute. “Trying not to take offense to that, but no, not right now. It’s contractual stuff – since Walter and Cabe are technically the boss, any of us being there would be weird. Plus, I don’t like being in a room with Molina for longer than I have to.”

“Me either - Molina gives off such a scary vibe,” Toby says, shaking his head.

Happy rolls her eyes at him. “You guys come over – I don’t doubt that Toby already picked up a million things to baby proof this place. We’ll get that started.”

When Ralph and Paige get there, they’re drenched.

“Take a nice shower on your way here?” Toby asks airly.

“Oh, shut up,” Paige replies. She pulls off her rain coat and sets it on their coat rack, dripping water everywhere. Ralph shakes out his umbrella and ends up getting rain water all over their hallway.

“Didn’t think that one through, did you, kid?” Toby asks, helping Ralph shake his coat out over the sink.

Ralph sighs. “I underestimated the amount of rain left on the umbrella.”

“Clearly,” Happy says. “I’m going to grab some towels.”

“And I’ll grab the baby,” Paige sings, kicking off her boots and practically running to the living room. “Addie girl!”

By the time Happy and Toby mop up the mess in the hallway, Paige and Addie have created their own game that involves clapping and giggling on cue. At least, that’s what it seems like to Happy.

“Show me Addie girl!” Paige exclaims. She puts her hand over Addie’s eyes and takes it away. “There she is!”

Addie squeals with a kind of delight that probably exceeds anything that Happy's felt outside of her family.

“Is it really appropriate to be making fun of her lack of understanding of object permanence?” Ralph asks, sitting on the couch next to them. “It just seems mean.”

“It’s not mean,” Toby clarifies. “It’s developmental. Adults like magic tricks, don’t they?”

“I don’t even like magic tricks,” Ralph insists. “I always figure it out before the magician gets halfway done.”

“That’s because you remember every detail of everything,” Toby says. “Normal people don’t do that. Babies can’t do that.”

“Oh,” Ralph says, looking interested. “Well, that makes sense.” He looks over at Addie. “We’ll make sure you know every magic trick, okay? You’ll never be fooled by that.”

Addie drools down the front of her onesie.

“Yeah, Ralphie boy, we’re sort of working on keeping stuff in her mouth at this point,” Toby says. “Genius stuff is a long time away.”

“Can I hold her, Mom?” Ralph asks, holding his arms out.

Paige settles Addie in Ralph’s arms, and she bounces excitedly until she falls against his chest. Ralph smiles. “Hi, Addie,” he says. “You’re really cute.”

Addie coos and grabs at his shirt collar.

Paige sighs. “You really want to be a big brother, don’t you, Ralph?”

He shrugs. “I kind of am already.”

Happy watches Toby and Paige melt into absolute mush.

“Ralph, kid, I think you just killed Toby and your mother,” Happy says. “But that was a really sweet thing to say.”

He shrugs, concentrating hard on helping Addie balance to stand. “It’s true.”

Paige, Happy, and Toby not so subtly move out of the living room and into the kitchen.

“So how’s Walter feel about kids?” Toby asks, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Had that conversation yet?”

“No,” Paige says, while Happy says, “A little bit.”

Paige and Toby look at her. “What was that now?” Toby asks.

Happy shrugs. “When I was pregnant, Walter and I talked about how we never expected to have kids but that it seems to be a possibility now.” She looks over at Addie. “Well, an inevitability, I guess.”

“Not the word I would have chosen for the light of our lives,” Toby says warily, “but I’m still floored that you had that conversation with Walter. Our Walter.”

Happy shrugs. “Sometimes we robots have real grown up talks while the humans go be human somewhere else.”

Paige laughs. “Okay, point taken. But he really – he really said he would be okay with having kids some day?” She looks so hopeful but so hesitant that it almost hurts. Every time Paige is with Addie or Ralph, Happy can tell that Paige would love to have another kid, but she didn’t realize just how important it is to her until right now. Before, Happy thought it was something Paige would want to do. Now she’s realizing that it’s something Paige feels she needs to do.

“Yeah,” Happy says, because feelings like this confuse the hell out of her, “yeah, I think he’d want to. Maybe a little while down the road –”

“Probably try getting married first,” Toby interjects.

“Yeah, that too,” Happy says, shrugging, “but maybe a little while down the road, I think you guys would make great parents.”

There’s a beat, and then Paige flies toward Happy and wraps her in a hug that Happy couldn’t get out of if she needed to. Happy shoots a “help?!” look over at Toby, who just shrugs and smiles at the two of them.

“Thank you, Happy,” Paige says, pulling away. “Thank you for talking to Walter about it.”

“Uh,” Happy takes a step back, because personal space is way more important to her than she wants to admit, “yeah. No problem.”

There’s a slightly awkward silence that’s broken a few moments later by Ralph says, “Guys, get in here! Addie’s crawling!”

Paige, Happy, and Toby bolt into the living room to see Addie crawling toward Ralph. She’s not completely steady on the carpet, having a little bit of trouble balancing on her hands, but she’s making good time and falls into Ralph’s lap when she reaches him. “Good job, Addie!” Ralph exclaims, giving her a big hug.

Toby looks at Happy. “Okay, I believe you,” he says in a small voice. “You saw our baby crawl.”

Happy shrugs. “Yup. Thanks for believing me, you jerk.”

“Crawling at seven months is incredibly early!” Toby defends. “The average age bracket for crawling is eight to thirteen months, according to my friend who is a PT, and walking is between nine and eighteen months. Addie crawling at seven months is shocking!”

“She’s a genius already,” Ralph says, in a voice so soft it makes Happy smile. “You’re awesome, Addie.”

“I can’t believe she crawled for Ralph instead of for us,” Toby sighs. “Does she like Ralph better than us?”

“Probably,” Happy replies. “But that’s just because Ralph plays with her and snuggles her whereas I’m the one who has to give her a bath.”

“She hates baths?” Paige asks, looking lost. “I thought she loved them.”

Happy scoffs. “Not anymore. It’s a freakin’ battle to get her clean. Half the time we end up with a baby wipe and hope.”

Paige nods. “Ralph was like that between year one and year two. Hated baths.”

“That better not mean that no baths is going to last that long,” Toby says, looking over at Ralph and Addie. “Though, she is taking after Ralph. Better than Walter, at least.”

“Uh oh,” Happy says, realizing the oncoming problem.

“What?” Paige asks.

Happy folds her arms, ready for the oncoming battle. “We’re going to have to talk to Walter about baby proofing the garage.”

~

 “What do you mean, we have to baby proof the garage?” Walter asks. “Just put her in the baby pen.”

“It’s not a pen!” Toby argues. “And she could be understanding language even though she can’t speak yet – watch your tone, O’Brien,”

Walter sighs. “Baby proofing a workplace seems highly unprofessional.”

“Your ass is highly unprofessional,” Happy shoots back.

“Language!” Toby says, looking desperate for the two of them to shut up, as he can only cover one of Addie’s ears with his free hand.

“Look, Walter, we just need to make sure Addie can walk and crawl around safely without worrying that she’ll stick her hand in an electrical socket,” Happy explains. “Besides, it won’t last too long. By the time she’s three and a half she’ll be completely able to understand what she should and shouldn’t touch.”

“Three and a half?!” Walter and Toby exclaim at the same time.

“I know why you’re shocked,” Paige says, looking at Walter. “But you,” she turns to Toby. “Why are you freaking out?”

“Because kids do not figure out what they shouldn’t touch at three and a half. Half the time even adults don’t figure that out.” Toby sits on the couch, settling Addie on his lap so she can see everyone. “Look, people, we’ve got a baby here.”

“You’ve got a baby,” Walter argues.

“We,” Toby says, gesturing to the team, “have a baby. Takes a village, O’Brien. Plus, you called her your niece. You just got lawyered, bitch.”

“Please don’t call my boyfriend a bitch,” Paige sighs.

“And you’re not a lawyer,” Happy replies. “Believe me. After that botched job at the casino, we all know you’re not a lawyer.”

“When did this become make fun of Toby time?” Toby asks. Addie pulls his hand to stick his thumb in her mouth. “And now my daughter is eating my hand. Lovely.”

“We’ll make a day of baby proofing,” Paige says diplomatically. “One day, when things are relaxed in here, we’ll take care of the garage.” She looks around. “This place is a mess, either way.”

“It’s not a mess!” Walter argues. “I love this place.”

“You can love a mess,” Paige says gently, patting the top of Walter’s head. “Just look at us.”

“And now it’s become make fun of Walter time, and I am all for it,” Toby says, grinning. “Your turn, Addie! Say something scathing in baby talk.”

Addie makes pleased little noises as she chews on Toby’s thumb.

“Perfect, baby girl, that was insightful and brilliant.” Toby kisses the top of Addie’s head.

Walter sighs, looking defeated. “Fine,” he says. “We'll do it tomorrow. Because of the negotiations between Homeland we won’t be contracted until at least Thursday, so we have a couple of days to do it.”

“Not today?” Happy asks. “Walt, we’re standing around doing nothing.”

He turns a little pink. “I would prefer to clean the place up a bit prior to beginning, especially upstairs.”

Toby lights up like a Christmas tree. “Does Walter have naughty stuff up in his bedroom?” he asks. “Or is Uncle Walter just a big ol’ slob?”

“I’m not a slob,” Walter says firmly. “I just – I haven’t finished packing my things to move into Paige’s apartment.” He won’t meet anybody’s eyes. “Also, I have some – I have some things to do first.”

“Things like what?” Happy asks, because now she’s getting interested.

Walter looks down. “I’ve got some furniture to sell.”

Happy looks over at Paige. “What?”

“I’m not letting him bring his bed,” Paige says firmly. “It’s a terrible queen sized mattress that’s older than Ralph is.”

“It’s a fine bed!” Walter argues. “And we –”

This time Happy’s the one who covers Addie’s ears while Toby goes, “Too much information!”

Walter makes his Uncomfortable Face. “I was beginning to say we hadn’t finished the conversation about it yet,” he says. “But now I am going to choose to end this conversation and say we should start baby proofing the bottom floor of the garage.” He walks over to the kitchen area and begins to haphazardly put away kitchen utensils. “Does that work?”

Happy knows she’d start laughing if she looks over at Toby. “Yeah,” she says, trying to hold it together as she watches Addie doze off on Toby’s shoulder. “Yeah, that works.”


	40. Addie, 7 months 4 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This job gets more dangerous the more they think about it. And they can't stop thinking about it, because Addie needs them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ: Chapter warnings for gun violence and a panic attack. In light of recent events, please read this chapter with caution and know that there are no character deaths.

They get the call when Addie’s half asleep on Happy’s shoulder, her little hand curled into Happy’s shirt. Happy is lazily stroking the baby’s hair, trying to hold onto the feeling of a still and sleepy Addie who isn’t getting into everything and knocking over a trash can.

Toby’s down for a nap in their bedroom, Addie’s hard night taking more out of him than it did out of Happy, so Happy just grabs his phone and answers.

“Yeah?” she mumbles. She hopes this is fast, because she’s comfortable and Addie is quiet.

“Happy?” says Paige. “We’ve got a problem.”

“Like apocalypse problem,” Happy asks, lowering her voice when Addie squirms, “or Toby and I can stay home and you’re just letting us know problem?”

“We need you,” Paige says. “Apparently terrorists have hijacked a truck carrying nuclear materials and are planning on dropping it on top of some movie premiere. We need to locate, disable, and catch them.”

Happy sighs, pressing a kiss to Addie’s head. “We need a sitter.”

“Already called your dad,” Paige says. “He’s going to meet us at the garage. I’m already here – Addie’s pack and play, all her toys. They’re set up.”

Happy sighs. “Thanks, Paige. We’ll see you in about half an hour.”

She wakes Toby gently, shaking his shoulder, and he sits up.

“What’s up?” he asks. “Addie good?”

“Yeah, she’s fine,” Happy says. Addie’s still asleep. “We’ve got a case.”

Toby’s out of bed in a second. “Know what about?”

“Nukes,” Happy says. “Got to save the world again.”

“Great,” Toby says, changing his shirt. “And Addie?”

“Paige called my dad,” Happy says. “He’s going to keep an eye on her in the garage. Do you see Addie’s –” Before she finishes the sentence, Toby hands her Addie’s purple blanket. “Awesome.” She throws the blanket around Addie’s shoulder and the three of them are ready to go and in the car in only five minutes.

“We’re getting good at this,” says Toby, yawning as he pops some Cheerios into his mouth. “Parenting a toddler, I mean. She’s going to be walking soon.”

Happy groans. “Don’t remind me. If she takes her first steps while we’re on a case, I’ll stab somebody.”

Toby laughs. “She’ll wait for us.” He turns back in the seat to wiggle Addie’s hand. “Won’t you, baby girl?”

Addie giggles and grabs at his fingers.

“Did you ever think we’d have something so perfect?” he asks, and it’s almost more as if he’s asking himself.

“No,” Happy decides to answer. “But she’s pretty amazing.”

“Yeah,” says Toby, his smile the one he saves for Happy and Addie, “she really is.”

Patrick’s already at the garage by the time they get there, and Addie wakes up when she hears his voice, clapping and reaching for him before they even get her out of the car seat.

“Somebody’s happy to see Grandpa,” Happy says, pulling her out of the seat. Addie’s so excited to see Patrick that she wiggles and squirms as Happy’s trying to hug her goodbye, so she finally relents, settling Addie in Patrick’s arms.

“See you soon, sweetheart,” Happy says as she kisses Addie’s forehead. Something about this mission feels strange, but Happy shakes it off when Addie grabs her face and does a strange open mouth squish on Happy’s cheek. After a split second she realizes it’s Addie’s version of a kiss.

“Love you too, baby,” she says.

Toby kisses Addie’s head and they head into the garage with all of their things.

“The gang’s all here,” says Cooper, taking a moment to say hi to Addie before starting. Patrick takes her to the Addie Space.

The next few hours are a stressful blur as they come up with and then execute their plan, and Happy’s stuck engineering in the back of vans while Toby is in the field trying to find the inside man at the movie premiere.

“Hey, man,” Toby says. “Lame party right?”

The other man’s voice is quiet, too soft to hear it over the coms.

“No, dude, I’m just not into rom-coms, I guess.”

Happy smiles. “Liar,” she laughs into the coms. It’s a moment of lightness that realizes the weight on her shoulders, but the anxiety from earlier only grows when Happy hears the man’s voice for the first time – sharp and angry and too aggressive.

“You don’t belong here,” the other man snaps.

“I don’t know what you mean, man,” Toby’s calm and collected voice says. “I’m just here to watch a movie, party, pick up some supermodels. You know how it is.”

“I looked up your name,” the man says. “There’s no Jack Rowan on the production team.”

“There must be some –”

“There is no mistake,” the man spits. Fear starts bleeding into Happy’s veins, ice cold as she can’t do anything but listen to the inevitable. “And if you don’t tell me who you are and what you’re doing here, I will start shooting every vapid princess who walks into the room.”

“Toby, get out of there,” Walter says from the front of the van. “We can do this without taking him –”

A gunshot goes off. And then there’s silence. And silence. And silence.

For too long, Happy can’t move, can’t fight the chill in her bones that’s frozen her into the second before she realizes what’s happened.

And then the puzzle pieces fit together and Happy’s diving out of the car, and would have made it across the street to the movie premiere had Cabe not grabbed her around the waist and hauled her back into the car.

“Let me go!” she shouts, clawing at Cabe’s hands. She has to go. She has to save him.

“If you go now,” Walter says, “we all die. Toby will be okay.”

“I’m good,” Toby’s weak voice says. “Just a small gunshot wound. I ran at him when he threatened to start shooting up the place, com got knocked out in the struggle. But he’s down and I’ve got the gun.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Happy promises into the ear piece.

“Yeah, well, I got the guy to talk,” Toby says. He proceeds to repeat to them everything said in the conversation with the shooter, trailing off until he says, “Oh, okay.”

“What?” Happy demands.

“I need – I need immediate medical attention.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Happy says. She turns to Cabe. “Can I go now?”

“Go,” Cabe says. “We’ve got enough information to find the truck and disarm it with your machine.”

“Walter, don’t fuck it up,” Happy says.

Paige follows her. “I’m coming with you.” She’s surprisingly fast in the heels and formal dress she’d worn to try and break into the party if the need was there.

“Why?” Happy bites, not even looking as she goes to cross the street.

Paige grab the back of Happy’s jacket just as a car would have run her down. “You’re not thinking straight. And if I’m here, you could be my personal assistant. Also,” she wiggles her phone, “already dialing an ambulance.”

They find Toby propped up against a wall, his left arm bleeding like nothing Happy’s ever seen before, and she’s hardly able to keep her fear at bay as she designs a tourniquet out of her belt, strips of Toby’s dress shirt, and one of Paige’s lip gloss containers.

“That hurts,” Toby says, eyes widening. “Was that necessary?”

“Ambulance is outside,” Paige says. “Come on, before the cameras see.”

“Sirens on?”

“Not until we get out of range of the event,” Paige says. “I know how to do my job. Nobody’s going to know we’re here.”

Paige and Toby help Toby walk to the ambulance, where, after a single glare from Happy, they let both Happy and Paige ride in the back.

When they untie the tourniquet, Toby says, “Well, this is a whole new problem,” deliriously. “Get it? Hole?”

“Sir, we’re going to need you to stay still,” says the EMT.

Toby can manage some responses, but Happy helps out where she can. Paige gets Patrick on the phone.

“I’m not a doctor,” Paige says, “I don’t know. Just meet us at –”

The paramedic gives the hospital name.

“Yes, there.”

How ironic it would be for Toby to lose his life in the hospital where Addie began hers.

“Take my car,” Happy shouts. “Car seat’s all set up. My keys are in Addie’s baby bag.”

“Hear that?” Paige asks. “Okay. See you soon.”

Out of nowhere, Toby’s hand, which had been tightly holding Happy’s, goes limp. Happy’s mind blanks out until twenty minutes later when she sees Patrick practically running into the waiting room, Addie on his hip and the baby bag on his shoulder.

“Got here as soon as we could,” he says. “And I brought you extra clothes.”

Happy frowns. “Why?”

Patrick and Paige both look at her shirt, and when Happy looks down she realizes she’s covered in blood.

All she wants is to take her daughter and hold her as tight as she can, but there’s nothing more horrible to her in that moment than possibly getting Toby’s blood on somebody else. Especially Addie.

“Paige, take Addie,” Happy decides, even though all she wants is to gather her baby up in her arms and never let go. “Hey, honey, you’re going to get a snack with Auntie Paige while I get changed, okay?”

Addie’s got her face buried in Patrick’s shoulder, like she had fallen asleep in the car, so Happy settles for a kiss on top of her head.

Happy grabs the bag and runs to the bathroom before she thinks too hard about all that has happened. In a too-cramped stall, she changes out of the bloodstained shirt, and it’s only when she gets a look at herself in the mirror that she realizes just how much of a toll the past few hours have taken. She feels familiar panic well in her chest and then, like clockwork, the shakes start. She does her breathing that Toby taught her, but even just thinking about him constricts her chest. She stares at herself in the mirror, trying to recite her name, location, and job, trying to stop this before it starts, but the breathing is ripped out of her.

All she can think of is how bloody and broken Toby looked in the ambulance, how he’s in surgery right now. He told her once that he had a strange reaction to anesthesia when he got his tonsils out as a little kid. Did she mention that to the doctors? Was it bad enough that it could kill him?

She settles for repeating Addie’s full name over and over again, pulling her shirt off and wiping off the residual blood with the useless brown paper towels. She finds herself strangely comforted at the appearance of a few rogue stretch marks, proof that Addie’s here and part of her, that life exists beyond fear.

Before she realizes it, she’s changed into clean clothes and she’s breathing again.

Her boots are fine, but the jeans and shirt are ruined. She throws them away in the bathroom trash. She never wants a reminder of that again.

Happy pulls her hair into a ponytail despite still shaking hands, and, when she sees Addie, bouncing cheerfully on Paige’s knee with the biggest smile, she feels better.

“Addie Grace, look at you!” Happy says, sliding into the seat next to Paige. “You’re standing!”

“With a little help, she can do anything,” Paige says, and the look she shoots Happy isn’t missed.

Addie dives into Happy’s arms like she knows something’s wrong, and Happy closes her eyes for a moment, taking the time to remind herself of the most important part of her life.

“Any news?” Happy asks after a few moments. She’s exhausted suddenly, can hardly open her eyes. But she needs to know.

“Nothing yet,” Paige says gently. “But Sylvester, Walter, and Cabe managed to grab the truck. No nuclear apocalypse today.”

In the grand scheme of things, Happy realizes that today is technically a win. But if she loses Toby, if Addie loses her dad, no day will be a win for her again.

“Good,” Happy murmurs, rubbing Addie’s back until her baby dozes off against her skin, “let’s just hope we keep getting good news.”

Happy falls asleep with Addie curled on her chest, the exhaustion overtaking them. Happy wakes up a little more than two hours later with Addie’s purple blanket draped over the two of them. She has to give Paige credit – she’s on her game with this whole aunt thing.

“What’s up?” she asks, opening her eyes to see a cheery looking doctor in front of her.

“He’s going to be perfectly fine,” the surgeon says, her hair tucked neatly into a bun. Happy has to think that, if there had been complications, her hair wouldn’t look that nice. “He’s in recovery now, and we will come get you when he’s in his room.”

“We can’t see him now?” Happy asks, sitting up, cradling Addie carefully in her arms.

“The recovery room is very busy tonight,” says the surgeon gently. “But it shouldn’t be more than an hour.”

Happy nods. If she could survive this afternoon, she can survive another hour.

Addie is a welcome, sleepy weight against Happy’s chest.

“How’s it all going?” Happy murmurs. “Nobody else died today, right?”

“Nobody,” Paige corrects, “is dying today. Toby’s fine.”

Happy nods. She shifts in her seat to see Patrick on the other side of Paige, dozing off. “He’s still here?”

“He said he didn’t want to leave until everything was okay,” Paige says. “got so worried about the two of you that he put the blanket over you.”

Happy blinks. “I thought that was you.”

Paige shakes her head with a tiny smile. “He wanted to make sure the two of you were safe and warm.”

There’s a brief silence. “He does the Grandpa thing pretty well,” Happy muses.

“Yeah, well,” says Paige. “You’re a pretty amazing mom. You had to get it from somewhere.”

Paige gets up to go to the bathroom and, with most people avoiding their little sullen group, Happy is basically on her own.

“Hey, baby girl,” she mutters into Addie’s ear. “I know today must have been confusing for you. I want you to know that Daddy’s going to be fine, and so are we. But Mommy’s going to read him the riot act. He’s not allowed to try anything that stupid when we’ve got you.” She kisses the top of Addie’s head, holding her tightly. “Don’t tell him, but I was a little scared for a while there. But I didn’t want you seeing me all,” she trails off. “I shouldn’t be telling you this.” She shifts Addie so Happy can wrap her in a blanket, settling her on her lap. “I bet you did some fun things with Grandpa, right?” she says quietly. “He’s amazing with you.”

Addie starts to move, her little legs and arms stretching. When she opens her eyes, Happy somehow feels like bursting into tears.

“Hi, Addie,” she says. “You’re awake.” She takes Addie’s hands and helps her stand. Addie’s wobbly and unstable, but she’s going to be standing on her own soon and it’s so incredible that Happy can’t do anything but laugh.

“I remember when you stood for the first time,” says Patrick. Happy hadn’t even realized he’d woken up. “You were thirteen months old. You were talking so early that I was scared something was wrong that you weren’t walking yet, but you were perfectly content crawling all over the place.” He smiles, something melancholic and nostalgic. “You were so amazing.”

Happy nods. “Not as cool as she is,” Happy says, nodding to where Addie has fallen to sit on Happy’s leg.

“I don’t think anybody could be as cool as Miss Addie Grace,” he says, leaning in to boop Addie on the nose. Addie giggles gleefully and reaches out to grab his nose. “You’ve got me!” Patrick exclaims.

“Thanks, Dad,” Happy says quietly. “For always being here now. For us.”

He nods. “Any time you need me, I’m here.” He reaches out and rests a hand on Happy’s shoulder. “Got to make up for all the years I wasn’t.”

Happy nods, but before she can figure out what to say, Paige comes back.

“I look ridiculous right now,” she says, pointing at the long red dress and heels. “So I’m going to head home and check in with the boys, and we’ll be back before long. I want to check in that there’s nothing we have to do legally for Toby.”

Happy nods. “Sounds good. And Paige?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for being here,” she says, offering up a smile.

Paige nods. “Whenever you need me.”

Addie starts fussing a few moments later, and Patrick grabs her teal binky from his pocket before Happy can even ask for it.

“Figured she’d need it,” he says as explanation.

Minutes later a nurse comes to lead them to the room Toby would be wheeled into. Happy tries to grab the bag and the baby carrier, but Patrick insists on taking it for her.

“You get the baby, I’ll get the stuff,” he says. “And then I’ll suddenly need coffee. I can tell you have a lot to talk about with Toby.”

She nods. “Thanks, Dad.”

Addie curls into Happy’s shoulder when they walk into the room, the strange smells and sights clearly making her uncomfortable.

Toby’s in the middle of pulling pants on with one arm when he notices them, the smile on his face lighting up the entire room in seconds.

“Hey,” Toby says. He looks frail and injured in the bed. Even though they’ve let him throw on sweatpants and he’s lounging on the bed, he’s still in the hospital robe and he’s still not moving his left arm. “My girls are here.”

“What do you think, Addie Grace?” Happy asks. “Want to go see Daddy?”

Addie, when she realizes who it is in the bed, grins so widely the pacifier falls out of her mouth. Happy catches it, shoves it into her pocket, and rests Addie on the bed so that she’s cradled between Toby’s side and right arm. She drops her head on Toby’s chest, babbling happily.

Happy exhales. “You’re lucky she’s happy to see you,” Happy says sharply. “Because I’m pissed.”

Toby looks startled. “What?”

“Don’t you dare,” she says firmly, quietly enough that it doesn’t distract Addie from her pleased giggling, “do something that fucking stupid again. Or I’ll be the one shooting you in the shoulder.”

“It’s only a flesh wound,” Toby says, and she knows this is how he handles stress, she knows inappropriate humor is his method of coping, she knows that he’s still a little drugged up, but it’s pissing her off right now because she’s serious and their daughter is right there.

“Stop that,” Happy demands. The smile falls off Toby’s face in an instant. “You dove at an armed asshole who had access to a nuclear weapon. You can’t do that kind of reckless shit anymore – leave that to Cabe or, hell, to me.”

“No,” Toby says. “You’re not doing those things. Addie needs you.”

Happy’s so annoyed she can’t do much more than stare at him. “Oh, like she doesn’t need you?”

Toby’s guard falls, something coming through in his eyes Happy hasn’t seen since before Addie was born. “You two would be okay without me,” he says, voice cracking a bit. His arms tighten around Addie. “But I wouldn’t survive in a world without you.” He rests his hand on Addie’s head, and Happy sits down at the foot of his bed when she realizes he’s crying. “I need you, Happy. I don’t like who I am when you’re not a part of my life.”

“You think I could do this – any of this – without you?” Happy asks. “What’s wrong with you? Not only are you her dad, you’re my best friend. First and foremost. If you think I could survive without you, you’re not the genius you claim to be.” She stares at him, trying to see his dumbass logic. “Stop thinking you’re expendable. She needs you,” Happy says, nodding over to Addie, who has dozed off in Toby’s protective embrace, “and so do I.”

Toby nods, speechless for once. Happy gently rests her hand on his, then leans in and kisses him. She hates fighting, hates arguing especially when Addie’s in the room, but god, she’s just glad he’s okay.

“No more stupid moves,” Toby promises.

Happy rests her forehead against him. “No more stupid moves,” she agrees.

He shifts closer to the left side of the bed, wincing as his arm shifts, but there’s just enough room for Happy to curl up next to him with Addie in between them.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, kissing the top of her head. Addie looks so small and fragile cradled in his arms, her mop of dark hair a stark contrast to the white hospital sheets. “I’m so sorry.”

“No more sorrys,” Happy says, stroking Addie’s hair. “Just remember you don’t just matter to you anymore.”

He turns his head, pressing his lips to Addie’s forehead. “I know,” he says quietly. “I know.”

In her sleep, Addie reaches out and grabs a handful of Toby’s shirt, making a little noise behind her binky.

“Shh, baby girl, it’s okay,” Toby says, his voice impossibly gentle. He begins singing to her, that sappy 90’s song Happy’s bus driver played on a loop when she was a fourth grader.

“Are you singing Savage Garden?” Happy asks, trying to hide the incredulity in her voice.

Toby smiles at her. “It’s a great song.”

“It’s a cheesy song,” Happy corrects. Addie snuggles closer into Toby’s shoulder, looking almost unbearably cute in her little purple outfit.

“Addie seems to like it,” Toby teases.

“Fine,” Happy says. “But I’m still sort of mad at you.”

“I deserve it,” Toby says. “I just couldn’t – I didn’t like the idea of letting that guy get away. All I could think of is what would happen if the two of you were the ones in that movie theater.” He sighs. “I’d do anything to save you two.”

“I know that,” Happy says, her eyes locked on Addie’s face. “But we weren’t there. And you’re no good to us dead and gone.”

Toby nods. The silence is so heavy that Happy can’t help but look up, and Toby’s just gazing at her. “I still can’t believe we have this,” he says quietly. “You,” he says, “her. I can’t believe you’re my family.”

“Yeah, you’re stuck with me,” Happy says, smiling at him. “Don’t forget that.”

“I never will.”


	41. Addie, 8 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the aftermath of injury is just as bad as the wound itself. Sometimes the people you love can make it a little bit better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the discussion of injury and panic attacks.

Happy checks her watch. “Hey, it’s officially midnight,” Happy says. “Our girl is eight months old today.”

“Really?” Toby asks. He looks at Addie with incredible reverence, like he’s trying to remind himself that she’s here. Happy looks at Addie like that all the time. Toby reaches out with his good arm and gently runs his knuckle along Addie’s arm. “You’re so grown up, baby girl.”

“But she’s still our girl,” Happy says. She can't resist adding, “And you’re still my guy.”

Toby beams at her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Dork.”

Toby falls asleep soon after, leaving Happy to watch her family sleep in safe silence. Toby snores and Addie drools, but it’s still the sweetest sight Happy’s ever seen. She could watch them for ages, and she does, just long enough to be sure that Toby is steady and sleeping.

And it’s just long enough for the horrors of the day to wash over her again. She expects a panic attack, plans to have to up and run out of there, but she locks her eyes on Toby and Addie, reminding herself that they’re here and both of them are sleeping soundly. And the panic subsides. Happy reaches out to brush a rogue curl from Addie’s forehead, and she’s suddenly hit with the reality again. This is her family, and they almost lost a part themselves today.

“Thank god you’re okay,” she exhales, leaning over to kiss Toby’s forehead. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The movement is enough to wake Addie, who fusses and squirms until she sees Happy’s face. She smiles brightly, her binky falling out of her mouth, and she kicks her little feet with excitement.

“Hi, baby girl,” Happy says, grinning down at her. Addie claps and grabs at Happy’s shirt. “Happy eight months old. I love you too, Addie Grace.” She sighs. “So much.”

Addie starts fussing more dramatically, making it damn clear that she’s hungry, and Happy takes her and moves to sit in the chair across the room to feed her.

“No!” Toby shouts, sitting up in bed. “Don’t!” His eyes are wild as he grabs at Happy’s arm.

“Toby, calm down, it’s just me,” she says, and Addie buries her face in Happy’s shoulder. “Toby!”

He snaps out of it, his wild eyes growing calm as he looks at her. “Happy?”

“You’re in the hospital,” she says softly, hoping her voice soothes. “Addie woke up – she wants dinner,” she checks the clock, “well, a midnight snack.”

“Don’t go,” Toby says, looking horrified. “I keep having dreams that you’re the one who gets shot and that –” he cuts himself off, clearly trying to keep steady, “and that someone takes Addie. Don’t go.”

“I’m never going away, you drugged up dope,” Happy says, but as gently as possible with a kiss to his forehead. “You can have a snack in bed, Addie, sound good?”

She wiggles in Happy’s arms, clearly more distracted by hunger than anything else, and she doesn’t calm until she’s eating.

“Your daughter could eat a horse,” Happy mumbles.

“Takes after her mom,” Toby replies, resting his hand on her thigh. “You could eat a planet and still be hungry.”

Happy laughs. “You jerk.”

A nurse comes in before Toby can fire back, and she smiles.

“Looks like the whole family is feeling better,” she says gently. “Do you need me to come back another time?”

“Nah,” Happy decides, waving her off. “You take care of Toby. I’ve got my girl.”

Addie’s apparently the hungriest she’s been in ages, because Happy ends up having to switch sides before the nurse calls someone in to bring her a meal.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to –”

“Take it,” the nurse, named Rachel, insists. “Drink a bunch of water, have something to eat. You’ve been here for a long time. And if you’re nursing, you need to take in your calories.”

Happy smiles at her. “Thank you.”

“My girlfriend’s amazing,” Toby says, looking a little delirious. “But she doesn’t have Percocet. Do you have Percocet? I’ll even drink the disgusting apple juice.”

Then nurse laughs. “Certainly, Toby.”

“Oh, thank god,” he says. “Hey, Happy. Does Addie want apple juice?”

“Too much sugar,” Happy replies in her best imitation of Toby’s doctor voice, and Addie finally starts doing the wiggling thing she does when she’s full. “Besides, I think the kid is all done.” Happy adjusts her shirt and hooks her bra back up, and in that ten second period Addie has crawled over to Toby’s chest and rested herself on top of him.

“God, I love you,” Toby says, kissing her forehead. “Rachel, isn’t my daughter the cutest kid on the planet?”

“Yes, she is,” Rachel says. “Now take your medicine.”

Toby knocks back the medication with his apple juice, looking absolutely ridiculous sipping juice out of a straw, and he plays with Addie, booping her nose and doing patty cake with one hand.

“These games are so much better when you’re high,” Toby muses, grinning up at Happy.

“Babe, you need to go to sleep,” Happy says as Addie yawns, nearly falling off of Toby’s lap. “And I need to get our girl home. I want to make sure she sleeps at least a little.”

Toby nods, looking so miserable that it almost looks like an act. “I’ll miss you guys.”

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere,” Happy clarifies. “My dad’s going to go stay at our place tonight, bring Addie home in the car. Called him while you two were asleep. I’m staying here with you.”

Toby beams up at her. “You are the perfect woman.”

“And that is correct,” Happy replies. She picks up Addie. “Hey, baby, want to see Grandpa?”

Addie giggles and wiggles, her grin absolutely knocking Happy out.

“I think I would do anything to see the two of you smile like that,” Toby says, sighing. “You two are the best things this world has ever created.”

Happy helps Addie stand. “Baby girl, your dad is doing high talk.”

“Am not!” Toby argues. “Except I’m definitely coo coo for cocoa puffs right now. Your eyes aren’t actually sparkling, right?”

“Correct,” Happy says.

“Good to know.”

Happy wakes up the next morning after minimal sleep, her head on Toby’s good shoulder while he’s drooling like an elderly person onto his pillow. She’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday, her hair is a disaster, but she’s just happy Toby is alive.

“Morning,” Toby mumbles. “I actually got myself shot, didn’t I?”

“Yup,” Happy replies. “You dumbass.”

He sighs. “I really don’t want to get shot ever again.”

“Good call,” Happy replies. She looks up as the nurse walks in, Toby’s doctor behind her.

She’s startled when they tell her Toby can go home that afternoon. There’s paperwork and conversations, and the assurance that Happy will take care of Toby while he recovers, and then they’re allowed to go home.

Paige and Walter had left Happy’s truck there the night before, and Toby winces at every bump Happy hits.

“Sorry, Doc,” Happy says apologetically.

“Nope, I’m fine,” he says, exhaling carefully. “I’m good.”

“You didn’t take any of your Percocet, did you,” Happy asks.

Toby shakes his head. “I didn’t like the dreams it gave me.”

“But you’re awake,” Happy replies. “Just take it now.”

He shrugs. “Too far away.”

Happy groans. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

Because of Toby’s connections, they’re able to grab his pain medications and antibiotics in the drive through. The medication prescriptions were already filled by the time they drive up.

“Hey, Dr. Curtis!” says the pharmacy tech. “See you got yourself shot. Again.”

“Hey!” Toby argues. “That first one was a paintball.”

Happy turns to him. “You told people about me shooting you in the ass with a paintball gun?”

Toby shrugs. “It was your way of flirting. I was proud of it.”

When they finally get home and walk through the door, Addie looks so excited to see them you’d think she hadn’t seen them in weeks. Happy has to literally catch her when she dives out of Patrick’s arms.

“Whoa, there,” Happy says, settling Addie in her arms. “Chill out, kiddo. I don’t want you accidentally killing your dad, okay?”

Addie buries her face in Happy’s neck and reaches out to grab Toby’s shirt.

“Oh, sure,” he says with a grin, “I get shot but you get the snuggles.”

“You’ll get the snuggles soon enough, you whiner,” Happy says. She turns to Patrick. “How was she?”

“Didn’t sleep a damn wink,” he explains, pausing to yawn. “The two of us were in that rocking chair of hers for about four hours. I thought she’d fallen asleep, but when I stood up to put her in her crib she woke up and started crying.” He rubs his eyes. “I’m ready for bed myself.”

Happy hugs him with the arm not cradling Addie. “Thanks, Dad.”

“It’s what grandpas do,” Patrick explains. “And besides,” he looks down at Addie. “She’s worth it.”

“She is,” Toby and Happy say simultaneously.

Patrick laughs. “You two are great together,” he says. “Take care of your guy, Happy. I’ll talk to you all later.” He leans over and kisses Happy’s temple and waves.

Addie waves back at him.

“Good job, sweetheart!” Toby exclaims. “You waved!”

Addie reaches out and grabs Toby’s arm, and the stoic way Toby only flinches instead of screaming is impressive.

“Let go, baby, let go,” Happy says soothingly. She shifts Addie to her hip, away from Toby. “Are you okay?”

Toby nods.

“You’re in a lot of pain, aren’t you?” She watches Toby fight to argue.

Toby nods as he lies down in bed. “I’m just – I’m just going to meditate.”

“No,” Happy says. “I’m going to hang out with the baby while you take your meds and nap.”

“I don’t want to.”

Happy throws a pillow at his legs. “Don’t be an idiot,” Happy says, adjusting Addie. She pats Happy’s cheek, and Happy has no idea what’s going on in that tiny baby brain of hers. “Take the medication.”

Toby sighs. “You’re going to be annoying until I take it, aren’t you.”

Happy nods. “I’m going to go one step farther. I’m going to withhold baby cuddles until you take your medication.”

Toby groans. “You fight dirty, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe.”

He pouts, sitting up in bed. “I got shot today,” he says, “I think you should let me call you babe.”

Happy sighs. “Seriously?” Toby nods and the pout grows more ridiculous. “Ugh, fine,” Happy decides. “You can call me babe.”

Toby’s grin is ridiculous. “I consider this a victory.”

“Take your meds and I’ll come back with mac and cheese,” Happy says. She kisses Addie on the forehead, and Addie wraps her arms around Happy’s neck. “And I’m taking the baby so she doesn’t hurt you. Again.”

“By, babe,” Toby says, “by, my actual baby.”

“You’re weird,” Happy says.

Happy straps herself into the baby wearing contraption they had to upgrade to when Toby got their first one stuck in an escalator (without Addie in it), and Addie falls asleep in seconds.

“Of course you did,” Happy sighs. Kraft Mac and Cheese has been one of Toby’s favorite foods since god knew when. Addie wakes up when Happy has to open the freezer to grab some veggies to make this at least a little healthy.

“Hey, sweetie,” she says, kissing the top of Addie’s head. “Good morning.”

Addie smiles up at her, then blows a bubble.

“You’re gross,” Happy says, laughing. “Grossy, grossy, gross.”

“You’re doing baby talk,” Toby calls from the bedroom. “And it’s adorable.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

Happy smiles down at Addie. “Your dad is weird.”

“Her dad is high!” Toby shouts back. “And awake. I don’t want to sleep with the bad dreams.”

Addie starts fidgeting and squirming so Happy takes her out of the baby carrier and settles her on her hip, managing to carry both bowls of dinner on her arm.

Addie reaches out to Toby and throws Happy off after a couple steps. It takes way too much effort, but she manages to prevent anybody from falling or anything from spilling. Happy’s impressed that she managed to catch both bowls and the baby.

“Whoa,” Happy says, “slow down, kiddo.”

Addie babbles, a little angrily, until Happy gives her a little bit of the mac and cheese to see if that’s what was causing the annoyance.

It is – and Addie likes the mac and cheese. A lot.

“Oh, great, now I have two cheese addicts,” Happy grumbles.

She walks back into the bedroom to see Toby staring at his tablet, playing a game. He’s ridiculously concentrated.

“Happy!” he says. “Happy, look!” He holds up a picture that’s actually kind of pretty and symmetrical. “There’s a drawing app!”

“You’re weird,” Happy says, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. “You should sleep.”

“No,” Toby says, “I have art.”

Addie practically throws herself out of Happy’s arms so she lands on Toby’s lap. She giggles, a sound Happy really can’t stop loving, and Toby winces.

“I took my medicine and even that hurt,” he groans. “She’s less than twenty pounds. How did that hurt?”

“Because you got shot, dumbass,” Happy replies, but she sets his bowl on the bedside table and takes off her sneakers.

“Coming to bed?” Toby asks, smiling at her.

“Yeah,” she says, yawning. “I’m wiped out. I barely slept last night.” She grins at him. “I didn’t get pain medication like some people.”

Toby points at her. “You didn’t get shot.”

She shrugs, throwing on a shirt and a pair of pajama pants. “You have a point.”

Addie falls asleep within a few minutes, her head pillowed on Toby’s thigh, and Happy and Toby watch a couple of mindless episodes of Mythbusters while they eat dinner, moving slowly and quietly through the night.

“I’m sorry I was so stupid,” Toby says, resting his head on Happy’s shoulder. It doesn’t look particularly comfortable – that angle looks like a recipe for neck pain – but Toby looks content, if a little sad. “I never want to think about what it would be like to lose this.”

Happy runs her fingers through his hair. “And you’re never going to do something that stupid again, right?”

He nods. “I’ll leave the getting shot to Cabe from now on.”

“Good deal.”

“And Tim,” Toby adds. “If he comes back.” Toby sits up. “Tim hasn’t met Addie yet!”

“Yes, he has,” Happy says, trying not to laugh. “Remember? New Year’s Eve?”

“Oh, yeah,” he says, relaxing. “Yeah, Addie met him.” He turns to her, his eyes glazed over from the pain medication, but all his usual affection still there. “We have such a great family.”

“We do,” Happy agrees, nodding. They both look down at Addie, who is leaving a puddle of drool on Toby’s sweatpants. She looks small in their big bed, her tiny hand curled around a handful of her purple blanket.

“She looks so much like you,” Toby says quietly. “She’s perfect.”

“She is,” Happy agrees, reaches out to rub Addie’s back. She’s never wanted to be so close to someone so often, but, she supposes, she was always close to Addie, from the day she came into existence. Addie’s a part of her, even more so than Toby.

Toby leans in and kisses Happy sweetly, like he’s trying to say something. It’s a movement Happy’s used to being on the giving end of, so she kisses back.

“You trying to tell me you love me?” she asks, resting her hand on his cheek.

“Yeah,” he says, “but, Happy, I’m so high. I forgot how to talk.”

Happy bursts into laughter, so loud that it jostles Addie awake and she starts whimpering.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry!” Happy says, trying to cool her laughter. “No, sweetie, don’t cry. I’m right here, it’s okay.”

Addie snuffles and buries her face into Happy’s shoulder. And then, as if she hadn’t realized Toby was there, she lifts her head and gives him the most excited grin in the world.

“Hey, baby girl!” Toby says, eyes lighting up. “I missed you!”

Before long, Addie’s asleep again in Toby’s arms, resting her head on his good shoulder as he cradles her safely, and Toby’s clearly dozing off too.

“Go to sleep,” Happy says, kissing his forehead. “I’ll take care of you.”

“You always do,” Toby mumbles. But when he falls asleep his smile is bright and content, and Happy’s just glad they came home to joy instead of pain.


	42. Addie, 9 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things change during parenting. Including your names.

It’s a month of recovery for Toby, and a month of Addie crawling all over the place and getting into everything.

“Happy,” Toby calls from the bedroom, “Happy, Addie’s about to roll off the bed because she won't stay still and I can’t really move because of the ice pack.”

Happy walks in, taking a swig from her water bottle. “PT rough?”

“Oh my god,” he says, draping his good arm over his face. “Happy, Laura beat the crap out of me.”

“That’s what you get for getting shot,” Happy replies, shrugging. She grabs Addie and sets her on her hip. Addie begins babbling along in her baby talk. “Yeah, I know, kid. You’re right – Daddy is a dork.”

Toby laughs, reaching out. “Come cuddle.”

“Can’t,” Happy says. “I’m going for a run. That’s why I handed her to you when you got home.”

Toby pouts. "Just until I finish icing? I need a second and third hand for the baby."

"Fine," Happy says, smiling at him. "Just until you finish icing."

Happy tosses Addie up in the air and the three of them relax. It's hard for Happy not to think about why Toby has to ice, the gunshot wound still a scarred mess. But when things are like this, it's a little better.

Toby sits up twenty minutes later, when Happy is flying Addie around the room. "Alright, sayonara, ice pack. All done." Toby looks up at Addie and makes a silly face. She wiggles her legs, doing her baby babbling again.

“Did she say ‘dada’?” Toby asks, reaching out to kiss her tummy as Happy walks back to the bed. “I think she just said ‘dada’.”

“No, she babbled,” Happy corrects, setting Addie on the bed next to Toby. She scrambles up on his chest, smiling as she pillows her head on his tummy. “She’s going to say Mama before Dada.”

Toby narrows his eyes. “I doubt it.”

“Game on,” Happy decides. “I'm going for my run. I’ll be back in about an hour." She ties her shoes. "Call if you need anything.”

“We’ll put on some music and snuggle, maybe read a couple of books,” Toby decides, scooping Addie up in his arm. “Daddy and daughter time, right?”

Addie blows a raspberry in his face and giggles.

“And there’s the drool,” Toby says, grinning at Addie as he wipes her mouth. “What a silly girl.” Toby leans in and kisses Happy on the cheek. “Have fun.”

The run is just what she needed, and pretty nice to do without a jogging stroller in front of her. Happy runs harder, longer, and faster than she has since before she found out she was pregnant. It feels good, gives her a different kind of energy than she’s felt in ages, and she’s smiling and enthused by the time she gets back home an hour later.

“Hey, guys,” she says, chugging the last of her water as she opens the front door. “What’s – oh, for the love of god.”

Toby’s standing in the kitchen shirtless, whereas Addie is butt naked sitting on their kitchen table. She’s covered in what appears to be watermelon, and her clothes are a pink pile on the floor.

“Back so soon, Hap?” Toby asks, looking nervous.

Happy raises an eyebrow. “Apparently I should have run that loop more slowly,” she says warily. “What the hell happened?”

“Well, after our third reading of Llama Llama Red Pajama, Addie started getting fussy so I grabbed some of the watermelon from the fridge.”

“And then the two of you bathed in it?” Happy asks. She’s trying not to laugh at Toby, but it doesn’t last too long, the giggles pouring out of her.

“Don’t laugh!” Toby says. He reaches out and grabs the spray from the sink and aims it at Happy.

She stares at him, and then looks down at her shirt. “You are the worst.”

Addie claps and giggles as she kicks her legs, reaching out and grabbing onto Toby’s arm.

“You want some water?” Toby asks.

Addie reaches for the water faucet, and Toby gently sprays her. Addie squeals with delight, wiggling so much that she nearly slips on the water. Toby catches her deftly. “Whoa there, baby girl,” Toby says, settling her on his hip. “Got to be careful, okay?”

“I can’t believe you sprayed me with the faucet,” Happy says, pulling her shirt off and dropping the sopping mess in the sink. "That was just rude."

"Hey," Toby says, gesturing with the hose, "it cooled you off, didn't it?"

Addie reaches for the faucet again.

“Does she understand us?” Happy asks, frowning.

Toby looks down at Addie. “Probably. She can do ‘please’ in sign language when she feels like it. That's receptive language.”

“You taught her sign language?” Happy asks.

Toby shakes his head. “Paige did. Taught her to say please and tried with thank you, but Addie couldn’t get the fine motor part with thank you down.”

“Good job, kiddo,” Happy says, kissing the top of her head. “Ready for work?”

Toby nods. “Why do we have to go to work? I had PT today at six in the morning. I am exhausted.” He pouts. “I can’t be expected to go to work.”

“Stop whining,” Happy insists. “And if Addie can understand what we’re saying, why can’t she talk yet?”

“Expressive is hard,” Toby says. “Saying things involves motor functioning in the mouth. And, Hap?”

“Yeah?”

“She’s nine months old.” He leans in and kisses her. “Chill.” But he looks like he’s thinking about something, and when Happy gets out of the shower and trades off Addie, Toby seems a little lost in thought.

When he comes back out of the shower, he goes directly to the book case before he even puts on clothes.

 “Okay, so here’s the thing,” Toby says, dropping a baby book the size of a dictionary down on the table. “I know you’re worried about the talking thing, but she’s working on it, and we need to give her some consistency for language.”

“Okay,” says Happy, working on getting Addie’s wiggly limbs into her outfit for the day. “Can you give me an example?”

“We need to start calling each other Mommy and Daddy so she knows who to call what.”

Happy looks at him. “Excuse me?”

“Mommy and Daddy,” Toby repeats, like it didn’t sound weird.”

Happy studies his expression. “You’re serious.”

He nods. “This way she knows who we’re talking about when we tell her ‘say Mommy!’”

Happy considers it. “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

“Awesome,” says Toby. “Let’s go get the kid, Mommy. Start now while the other people are distracted.”

Happy pushes the lock aside and walks up to

Addie giggles and bounces on her mattress when Happy walks in.

“Hey, kiddo,” Happy says. “Ready to go to the garage?”

Addie babbles something, but she sounds positive about it so Happy picks her up and swings her around.

“Mommy!” Toby calls from the living room. “Got any idea where Addie’s favorite B I N K Y is?”

Happy looks around the room. Addie is reaching for the bed, pointing at something.

“She can’t spell before she can talk, can she?” Happy asks as she leans over and picks up Addie’s favorite teal binky and gives it to her. Addie cheerfully shoves it in her mouth.

“I don’t think so,” says Toby. “At least, I hope not.” He looks over at Addie. “You ready to go?”

“What do you think, Addie girl?” Happy asks. “Want to go see Mommy kick ass in the garage?”

“Language!” Toby shouts.

“She can’t talk yet.”

“Yeah, but her receptive language might be developing faster than expressive. She could be taking all of this in.”

Happy looks at Addie. “I think Daddy’s being a little weird.”

Addie replies by smacking Happy in the face.

“Delightful,” Happy deadpans.

The trip to the garage consists of Toby playing The Who at top volume and Addie giggling the entire drive while Happy just tries to make sure her boots are tied and that she looks at least a little presentable.

They park and Addie, again, is babbling on.

“You hear that, Mommy?” Toby says. “She’s getting there. She just needs to learn that her words are not our words.”

“Your dad is insane,” Happy says to Addie. She just claps and blows a raspberry.

Happy carries her into the garage.

“There’s my amazing girl!” says Paige. She runs up and Addie reaches out to her. Paige takes Addie and practically throws her in the air.

Toby sets up the pack and play and Happy throws two books, a wrench, and three stuffed animals into the structure.

“Really, Mommy?” Toby asks. “A wrench?”

Happy shrugs. “She can’t choke on it and it’s light enough that even if she drops it, we’re fine. Let her play with the tools, Toby.”

“Daddy,” Toby corrects.

Happy rolls her eyes. “Yes, Daddy, whatever.”

Paige is looking at them like she just witnessed a murder.

“What are – never mind, I don’t want to know.” She sets Addie into the pack and play.

Addie immediately goes for the wrench.

“Mommy wins,” Happy says, and she goes to work on some soldering for a client.

Happy looks over and checks on Addie periodically, making sure she isn’t doing anything unsafe with the wrench or the books. About half an hour after they get to work Happy looks to see that Addie is passed out cold with her stuffed giraffe in her arms.

“Got to admit it,” Happy says, “our baby is the cutest.”

“Now that she’s asleep, I’ve got to ask,” says Paige. “Why the hell are you calling yourselves Mommy and Daddy, and do I want to know?”

Happy blinks. Then she laughs. “Oh, god, I didn’t even realize how it sounded.”

“Yeah, so clarify?” Paige says, nodding over to Toby. “Because it got weird.”

“Toby has this theory that if we refer to each other as Mommy and Daddy whenever Addie’s around we’ll be able to get her to understand what the words mean and who they refer to sooner than if we used our actual names.”

Paige considers it. “You know, that somehow makes sense.”

“That was my reaction.”

There’s a pause. “You realize it sounds really weird out of context, right?” Paige says. “I mean, I’m not gonna judge, but –”

“There’s nothing to judge,” Happy says pointedly. “Also, seriously? Me and Toby? We don't roll like that.”

Paige shrugs, her hands in the air. “Hey, I don’t try to assume anything.”

Around noon Addie starts getting annoyed and Happy pulls her out of her pack and play for breakfast.

“Ohh, mushy peas,” Happy says sarcastically. “Delicious.”

“She likes peas,” Toby argues. “And if you don’t like them, don’t tell her that!”

“She’ll still eat them. Watch.” Sure enough, Addie grabs at Happy’s hand and gets most of the peas in her mouth, some all over her face.

Happy raises her eyebrows at Toby. “See.”

Toby rolls his eyes. “Fine, be right all the time.”

“Wouldn’t be a genius if I wasn’t right all the time.”

Addie bangs on the table and babbles, and Happy goes back to feeding her.

“Hey, Paige,” she says. “We got any good cases?”

“Only the little stuff,” she says, eyes locked on her computer. “And Elia commissioned another defense program, but that’s mostly Sly and Walter.”

“Awesome,” says Happy. “Because I have my own little project.”

“Are you seriously building Addie a miniature car?” Toby asks. “I thought you were kidding."

"Of course I wasn't," Happy says as Addie drools out most of the peas. "She'll love it."

Toby gets up and leans down next to Addie's high chair. "Addie, your mom’s crazy.”

“Your dad’s crazier,” Happy says. Addie giggles.

“She agrees with me.”

Addie eats and giggles, getting smushed peas all over herself, her clothes, and the high chair, and Paige volunteers to change her into a different outfit.

“Did you get her something at the store?” Happy asks.

“Not technically,” says Paige as she walks toward her bag. “It was Amazon.” Paige pulls out a hot pink onesie with a green monster on it. “See?”

Addie bounces in her chair.

“Well she apparently likes it,” says Happy. “You want Auntie Paige to give you another cute outfit?”

Addie giggles in response.

Happy sets her on the floor and Addie takes off toward Paige, only having a bit of trouble crawling once on the cold floor.

“Do we need to get carpet in here?” Toby asks. “I mean, now that she can crawl and she's about to start walking.”

“She’s fine,” says Paige as Addie half throws herself into Paige's arms. “Aren’t we, sweet girl?”

Happy washes off Addie’s high chair and throws Addie’s burp cloth at Toby.

“Oh, come on,” he says.

“It’s clean!” Happy says.

“Oh, sure, throwing things at me isn’t the problem.”

Happy leans over and kisses him when nobody’s looking. “She’s going to talk soon, right?”

“Happy, she’ll talk,” Toby says, kissing her nose. “Chill.”

“But I was talking at seven months, according to my dad,” Happy says. “Is there something wrong?”

“I wasn’t talking in full sentences until thirteen months,” Toby says. “And some kids don’t talk until two years. She’s fine, Happy.” He kisses her forehead. “Don’t worry.”

Happy sighs and looks over to where Paige is playing airplane with Addie. Addie is blowing raspberries every time Paige pushes her upward, and giggles when she glides downward.

“See?” Toby says. “She’s fine.”

The rest of the day passes without anything significant. Addie falls asleep against Toby, who is reading up on something related to new advances in psychiatry. Toby’s singing something to her and Happy can’t help but smile at them while working on a car part.

As they walk down the aisle of the grocery store at the end of the day, Happy is struck with how normal they are. For years she assumed that she’d never have this, a family, that she convinced herself she could never want it.

And now she’s in the freakin’ grocery store with her boyfriend and daughter, and they’re so happy it would be nauseating if it were anyone else.

“Happy, you okay?” Toby rests a hand on her shoulder.

Happy shakes herself out of it. “What? Yeah, I’m good. I’m just…” She trails off and looks at him. “We’re really lucky.”

Toby nods. “I’ve known that since the first day you kissed me.”

Happy nods. “Well yeah. But you, and me. And now we have Addie.”

The child in question blows a raspberry and drools all over herself.

“See? I think even that is cute.”

Toby laughs and pulls Happy close to him. “Hey Addie, your mommy thinks your drool is cute.”

Addie giggles, reaching up to Happy.

“She wants Mommy,” Toby says. “She always wants Mommy.”

“That’s because Mommy’s cooler than you,” Happy shoots back. But she smiles over to Toby.


	43. Addie, 10 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As nice as it is to be a government contractor, that just makes it more disturbing when there's a job they have to do, no questions asked.

Happy rolls over and grabs the phone as it rings obnoxiously through the silence.

“Shut up,” Happy groans, answering. “What?”

“That’s a greeting,” Cabe mutters. “Got a case, Happy. We need you.”

“Not me?” Toby asks, opening one eye and smiling.

“If I’m going,” Happy says, “so are you, Daddy.”

Toby flops back onto the pillows. “Should have pretended to be asleep.”

Happy tells Cabe that they’ll be there as soon as they can, and hits Toby gently with a pillow to wake him up.

“You get first shower,” she says. “I’ll get the baby.”

“You just want Addie cuddles,” Toby grumbles.

"No, Addie needs breakfast, and I'm pretty sure you can't do that part." Happy pokes at him twice more, just to be annoying, then rolls out of bed and walks quietly into Addie’s nursery.

She claps and smiles when Happy walks in, and Happy thinks there might not be a better feeling.

“Hey, kiddo,” Happy says, swinging Addie up into her arms. “Good morning!”

Addie pulls at some of Happy’s hair, which they’ve begun to realize is her way of saying hello.

“Hi,” Happy says, kissing Addie’s forehead. “Let’s get you some breakfast.”

They get to the garage only ten minutes later than they had hoped, but it’s better than the time Addie had a diaper explosion as they were putting her into her car seat.

“Why am I here?” Toby grumbles, rubbing at his eyes.

“Team support,” Cabe says. “Now stop whining. Cooper will be here soon to explain it.”

“She’s not here yet?” Happy asks, setting Addie down.

“Kind of pot calling the kettle black on the lateness front,” Sylvester says.

“Hey!” Toby exclaims. “Baby. Baby is a completely normal reason to be late. To everything.” He looks down at Addie. “All the time.” He picks her up out of the car seat and kisses her nose. “It’s a good thing you’re cute, little one.”

Addie leans in and begins teething on Toby’s thumb.

“So why are we here?” Toby asks, bouncing Addie. “Explosion? Supervillain threaten our city and we’re the only ones who can stop it?” His eyes light up. “Do I get to meet the president?”

“What is with you?” Cabe asks, rolling his eyes. “No, numbskull, we’re waiting for Cooper. It’s a military operation she wasn’t comfortable discussing over the phone, but she’s going to need Happy, Sylvester, and Walter. At least.”

Toby looks over at Paige. “You want to get breakfast, since we're not needed right now?”

“Get me a bagel,” Happy calls, tossing Toby the car keys.

“Okay, kiddo,” Toby says, swinging Addie down to his hip, “we’re going to Kovelsky’s with Auntie Paige. Maybe when we come back it’ll all be over.”

Happy scoffs. “Fat chance.”

“Need I remind you who was late again?” Walter adds, walking into the room.

“I’m going to leave before they start bickering like siblings,” Paige says, grabbing Toby’s arm and Addie's car seat, and pulling them toward the door.

Happy and Walter snipe back and forth at each other for a few minutes, but Happy’s heart isn’t in it. Every time they hear a car door close or an acceleration, they assume it’s Cooper. Happy really doesn’t like the sound of a military operation that they can't discuss over the phone. The last time something like this happened, she almost froze to death in the South Pole. Or Toby got shot. Or they almost got killed in Fort Knox.

“God, our job is stupid,” Happy grumbles, dropping her head on her desk. “Where are they?”

“Cooper?” Walter asks.

Happy shakes her head. “No, Paige and Toby. I want breakfast.”

Like on cue, Toby and Paige walk in, their arms full of cups of coffee, bags of snacks, and, in Paige’s case, Addie.

“Little one over here absolutely loves avocado,” Paige says, expertly setting down a tray of four coffees while keeping Addie safe on her hip. “Did you know that?”

“Has she had avocado?” Happy asks Toby.

Toby nods. “Once. But I think she likes it better when Auntie Paige lets her steal it from her sandwich.”

Paige leans in and kisses Addie’s nose. Addie smiles and babbles excitedly.

“Still no Cooper?” Toby asks, kicking his legs up on his desk.

Cabe shakes his head. “No, but I won’t get worried for another,” he checks his watch, “hour, probably. Sometimes the military doesn’t like Homeland getting in their way.”

“More like doesn’t want Homeland saving their asses,” Happy scoffs. Cabe raises an eyebrow. “What?” Happy adds. “Like we don’t save all their asses all the time?”

“Your daughter’s first word is going to be ass,” Paige says, covering Addie’s ears.

“Our daughter’s first sentence is going to be, ‘Where’s Cooper?’ at the rate we’re going,” Toby says.

It’s another five minutes before the door swings open with Cooper walking next to a man in uniform.

“This is Scorpion,” Cooper says.

“And you are?” Toby asks, gesturing to the man in uniform with his coffee.

“None of your concern,” the man in uniform says sternly.

Toby looks startled. “Well, now I’m very concerned.”

“We need your team to locate a plane,” Cooper says, her tone echoing that of the man in uniform.

“The last time we did that, Walter and Cabe almost died,” Paige points out.

“And we got arrested,” Happy adds, pointing to Paige and Toby.

Toby nods. “Twice.”

“Oh, we don’t need you to go anywhere,” Cooper clarifies. “Just locate it. As soon as possible.”

Happy eyes Cooper skeptically. “Why can’t you get somebody else to do this?”

“Rude,” Toby says, grinning.

“No, seriously,” Happy says, taking Addie from Paige. “Why are we the ones doing this? There are people better suited and lower IQ who could do this at the same speed. Why us?”

“She’s got a point,” Walter says.

“Because I am telling – asking you too,” Cooper says. Her voice is growing strained and frustrated. “This is not negotiable. You’re Homeland contractors, this is your job.”

Happy eyes her, trying to decode what’s happening. She gets a glance over at Toby, whose expression mirrors her concern.

“This has to do with Beijing,” Toby says after a few moments of silence.

Cooper’s jaw sets. “I can neither confirm nor –”

“You just did,” Toby says, standing up and walking toward her. “That little tic on the side of your eye? Felt like a twitch? You do that whenever you’re trying to hide something.”

“Do as you’re told,” Cooper says firmly. “Happy, Walter, and Sylvester, this is urgent. Now.”

Happy wants to argue, wants to fight this, but one look from Toby and she knows the two of them will look into this more, that fighting it blatantly with Cooper will only get in their way.

“Fine,” Happy says, gritting her teeth. “Just tell me what I’m looking for.” She hands Addie to Toby, because she doesn’t want her tension or frustration confusing Addie, and turns to Walter. “Got any plans?”

“I’ve got the plane’s blueprints, tech, everything,” Cooper says, handing Happy a flash drive. “This must come back to me once you’re done.”

“No problem,” Happy says. She’ll just copy the  drive. “Give me ten minutes.” She turns to Addie, who is sitting very seriously on Toby’s shoulders with her hands drumming on top of his head. “You ready to watch your mom kick ass?”

“Stop swearing in front of the baby,” Toby says. “Do you want her first word to be ass?”

“Good point,” Happy says. “Now you guys go away. We have to find a plane.”

“Want your bagel?” Toby asks.

“Right,” Happy says. “Bagel.”

Paige tosses it to her and Happy plucks it out of the air.

“Enough shenanigans,” Walter says, and he’s the only person on the damned planet who could say shenanigans and not sound like he’s fucking around, “let’s get to work.”

Between Sylvester’s statistical abilities, Happy’s understanding of plane blueprints and the frequencies of radar signals, and Walter’s ability to hack into anything he wants to within two minutes, the job is too easy. They find the plane in eight minutes.

“And that’s how you do it,” Happy says, reaching up to high five Addie. Addie pats her on the back of the hand.

“Thank you,” says Cooper, holding out her hand for the flash drive.

“Are you going to tell us what this was about?” Happy asks, refusing to hand the drive to Cooper. “Or are we stuck in the dark?”

“This isn’t something we can discuss –”

“To be fair,” Toby says, sliding Addie off his shoulders and into his arms, “you did say that we were the only ones Homeland could trust with this. So you should be able to tell us about this.”

The way he studies Cooper’s face makes Happy a little uncomfortable. She hopes he never pulls that crap with her or with Addie – that would be awful.

“You’re not going to tell us anything beyond what we guessed today,” Toby says. “You will eventually, though. Right?”

“I can neither –”

Paige rolls her eyes. “Keeping us in the dark like this never goes well for anyone. You know them.” She nods to the team. “They’ll figure it out before the end of the week.”

Sylvester scoffs. “More like before the end of the day.”

Paige shoots him a look. “The point is, unless you want them digging, you need to tell them.”

“And I would,” Cooper says. “I would. But there are – I’m unable to divulge any further information until and unless I’m authorized to do so.”

“I and Agent Cooper, along with three others, are the only people with access to all the information,” the man in uniform says. It’s the first time he’s spoken in what felt like hours. “No one else is authorized to do so.”

“Do we even get to know your name?” Walter asks, folding his arms.

Cooper shakes her head. “Unfortunately, no.”

“Do we get to know who the other three people are?” Sylvester asks.

“No.”

Toby points to Cabe. “Does he get to know?”

Cooper shakes her head. “No.”

“So we’re flying blind here and just trusting that the government that was recently infiltrated by an enemy nation is giving us accurate and legal instructions that we have to follow, no contest,” Paige says.

There’s an awkward silence.

“I suppose so,” Cooper says.

Toby sighs. “Have a bagel, Agent Cooper.”

“What?” It’s the most off balance Happy’s ever seen the woman.

“A bagel,” Toby says. He sets it in front of her. “We got an extra. You look hungry.”

“Is this some sort of manipulation?” Cooper asks, eyeing the bagel like it might eat her hand. “Because I can assure, I’m not –”

“It’s a bagel,” Toby says again. “Just eat. Addie’s starting to get antsy and we need to change the vibe in here before she gets scared.”

Happy gets a good look at Addie’s face and watches the way her eyes dart from person to person with confusion and a tiny bit of fear. She walks over and grabs Addie from Toby, holding her close.

“Hey!” Toby exclaims. “My baby.”

“Addie’s hanging out with me right now,” Happy says, settling the baby on her hip. “Besides, you’ve been holding her all day.”

A minute later and the mindless chatter has broken the harsh atmosphere. Addie is chewing on a frozen toy, looking content and comfortable with drool all over her, and the rest of them are eating pieces of leftover bagel while Cooper relaxes.

“And what do you all do when you don’t have a job?” Cooper asks, putting cream cheese on her second bagel.

“I’m working on a book related to in the field usage of behavioral science,” says Toby. “Hoping to get it published.”

“And I’m making a miniature car for Addie’s birthday,” Happy says. Everybody stares at her.

“Is that safe?” Cooper asks, bagel halfway to her mouth.

Toby shakes his head. “No,” he says firmly. “No, it’s not.”

“It’s just a little pedal powered car!” Happy argues. “It's just a brake and gas design, so she - now that I say it out loud it does sound ridiculous.” She frowns. “I’m going to have to come up with a better birthday present.”

“Thank you,” Paige calls from across the room.

“Well, we’ll be off now,” Cooper says. “And thank you. For completing the job.” She writes a handful of checks and hands one to each of the team.

“Me?” Toby asks. “I didn’t provide anything but snarky commentary.”

“Policy,” Cooper explains. “You’re a team, so you all get paid.”

Happy finds it weird that she gets a ten thousand dollar check for eight minutes of work and twenty minutes of casual insubordination, but she’s okay with it when it means they can throw five grand into Addie’s college fund.

In her arms, Addie starts trying to latch onto Happy’s thumb. “Oh, you’re jealous we all got bagels and you didn’t?” Happy asks. “That avocado didn’t last. Let’s get you lunch.” She walks to the refrigerator to grab Addie her milk and herself some water.

“Hey, Mommy, can you throw me that water bottle?” Toby says.

Happy pulls a second bottle of water from the fridge and tosses it to him. “Think fast, Daddy.”

The water bottle nails him in the forehead. “You suck,” Toby grumbles.

Addie, holding her bottle, looks up at Happy. “Duck duck.”

Happy looks down at Addie. “What?”

“Duck duck duck duck,” Addie says, like it’s nothing. “Duck duck.”

“Did she just –” Toby stands up and walks over to her. “What just –”

“Duck duck duck,” Addie says, and then begins chewing on the bottle.

“Does it count as her first word if it’s pronounced wrong and has nothing to do with what she actually wants to say?” Happy asks.

“I don’t know and I don’t care! Our baby is talking!” He plucks Addie from Happy’s arms and swings her around. “Say it again, princess!”

She looks at him the same way Happy does when exasperated. Happy laughs.

“Go ahead, Addie,” Happy says. “Say duck.”

“Nuh-no,” Addie says, shaking her head. “No duck. Duck.”

“Two words?” Happy says. “Is this normal?”

Toby nods. “Some kids start talking in full sentences out of nowhere.”

“Should we be encouraging her to say the word suck?” Toby says, resting Addie on his hip. “We shouldn’t be telling her to say suck, should we.”

“Definitely not,” Happy agrees. She boops Addie’s nose. “Say Mama or Dada?”

“Nuh-no duck,” Addie says with a giant grin on her face.

“We have only ourselves to blame for this,” Toby says. “How are we going to explain to people that her first word was suck?”

“Technically it was duck,” Happy offers. Toby gives her a completely unamused look.

“Say Daddy, baby,” Toby says. “Daddy, daddy, daddy.”

“Duck,” Addie says authoritatively.

“Mama?” Happy asks.

“Duck duck.”

Toby sighs. “Addie, baby, try another word.”

“No duck.”

“It’s almost a sentence,” Happy says.

Toby sets her in Happy’s arms. “Now,” he says, “I understand that you like being funny. But try saying Daddy.”

“Adda.”

Happy looks at her. “That’s your name,” she says. “You’re Addie.”

Addie points to herself. “Adda.” Then she pauses and looks up at Happy. “Adda?”

Happy tosses her in the air and cheers. “I’m Mommy, but you’re close.” She settles Addie on her hip.

“So close,” Toby says, dropping his head. “One letter off. Dada, baby. Say dada.”

Addie looks at him. “Adda.”

Toby sighs. “This is going to take a while, isn’t it?”

“I don’t give a damn,” Happy says. “She went from zero words to three in a few minutes. That is pretty fantastic.”

Addie responds by grabbing Happy’s face and pressing a sloppy kiss to Happy’s cheek.

“Very proud of you, my girl,” Happy says, catching Addie as she tumbles into her arms.

Addie snuggles there and promptly passes out.

“How does she do that?!” Happy exclaims as Toby passes her Addie’s blanket. “At night it’s a damn battle, but then it’s four in the afternoon and she passes out like a light. Without having her bottle, nonetheless.”

Toby shrugs. “At least she’s sleeping.”

“You’re not the one getting up two times in the middle of the night to nurse,” Happy says pointedly.

“And that’s why you’re the superhero in this family,” Toby says, kissing her cheek. “I’ll take her. You go get some stuff done.”

Happy nods, yawning. “I kind of just want to nap right now, to be honest.”

“I mean,” Toby says, nodding down to Addie, “you wouldn’t be the first one.”

“Can I take her?” Paige asks, walking up next to them. “That way you can both get some things done, and I get baby snuggles.”

“She won’t be in the way?” Happy asks as Addie starts to drool on her shoulder. Toby throws her a burp cloth and she cleans herself up.

Paige shakes her head. “Looks like it’s a pretty mellow day. I’ve got paperwork to do, and I can get that done while she sleeps.”

Happy grins. “Awesome. Then I’m going to pass out on top of my paperwork and pretend it’s done.”

“You’re not supposed to tell me that,” Paige says, smoothing Addie’s hair. “But, fine. Close enough.”

It’s only ten in the morning, but Happy feels like a whole day has gone by. As she fills out mundane reports, something sticks in the back of her mind. The plane was related to Beijing, she knows that. But what she doesn’t know is why they couldn’t know more about it.

She sets it to the back of her mind, and works, pretending it’s not weighing on her.


	44. Addie, 11 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night out never goes the way you plan when there's a kid involved. Or when you've got bad memories to fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR: Panic attacks, mugging, and references to childhood physical and sexual abuse.

“Aren’t you going to freak out about leaving her?” Sylvester asks. “That’s what people do when they go out without their kids, right?”

Happy scoffs. “Not me. That’s his job.”

They look over to see Toby playing with Addie, blowing raspberries on her cheeks and holding onto her so tightly it’s almost as if he won’t let her go.

“It’s dinner and a movie,” Happy says to him. “We’ll be back in, like, four hours. Chill.”

“But what if we miss something?” Toby asks. “There are a bunch of different milestones – she still hasn’t walked yet.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “There are these things called smartphones. They record extra special events in videos. We’ll see it later.”

“But look at this face,” Toby says, and right at that moment, Addie squishes her lips together in a kissy face. “Okay, baby girl, I didn’t mean duck face. I meant your normal face.”

“She has no idea what you’re saying,” Happy tells him.

“Maybe she does!” Toby argues. He kisses the top of Addie’s head. “She knows everything.”

“Can you guys just go?” Ralph asks. “I’ve got differential equations to do and they’re not getting done until Addie goes down to sleep.”

“You already sound like a jaded college student,” Toby says, settling Addie in Ralph’s arms and ruffling Ralph’s hair. “Good work, kid.”

Ralph rolls his eyes, holding Addie in one arm like he's always done this. “Just go have fun." He grins and adds, "you old people.”

“We’re not old!” Happy argues.

“You’re kind of old,” Sylvester adds, doing a terrible job of hiding his smile. “Look, you had to hire babysitters to take care of your kid so you could go out on a scheduled date night.”

“You realize we’re the ones in charge of whether or not you get money for pizza, right?” Toby asks, folding his arms across his chest.

“Please give me money,” Ralph says. “I don’t trust any of us around a stove.”

Toby grabs a twenty from his pocket and hands it to Ralph.

“Ah!” he says, pulling the money away just as Ralph reaches. “No shenanigans.”

“Shenanigans?” Ralph asks. “I have homework and I’m hanging out with Sly. What shenanigans are even possible?”

“I don’t want you to figure it out,” Toby says. “Say it.”

“Say what?”

“No shenanigans.”

Addie blows a raspberry.

“The baby gets it,” Toby says.

Happy’s just doing her damn best not to laugh.

“No shenanigans,” Ralph and Sylvester say at the same time.

“See, it was just fun to hear them speak in tandem,” Toby says. Ralph rips the money out of his hands and looks at Happy.

“I can’t believe you chose to put up with this,” he says, shaking his head.

“Yeah, well,” Happy says, looking up at him. “Like I said. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve fallen for the guy.”

“Oh, for the love of –” Sylvester and Ralph push them out the door.

“By, baby girl!” Toby says. “Daddy –”

Ralph closes the door in their faces. Addie giggles behind the door, leaning up against the glass and pressing a kiss to the door.

“Is that sanitary?” Happy asks.

“Don’t care,” Toby says, kissing the door.

Happy groans and grabs Toby’s hand. “Come on.”

They’ve lied. To everyone. They’re not going to dinner and a movie. Toby booked a hotel for the two of them to stay in for the evening, just long enough for them to relax and be with each other, time where they don’t have to think about Addie’s next diaper or next meal.

She takes his hand as they walk along the sidewalk.

“Is Happy Quinn being affectionate in public?” Toby asks in mock surprise. “Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend?”

“Don’t ruin it, dummy,” Happy replies, but she steps close enough that she can feel the warmth from Toby radiate through her light jacket. The night feels perfect, good. And, for once, Happy feels like she deserves the beauty in her life.

The last thing they expect, though, is for two guys with a knife to walk up to them on the street and say, “Wallets and money. Now.”

Happy acts without thinking, years of self defense and memories of what it was like not to be able to protect herself fueling her, and both muggers are on the ground whining in minutes while Toby stares.

“Happy,” he says gently. “Happy, I think we’re good here.”

She blinks to realize she’s standing over one of them like she’s ready to put the knife she took from them in their throats. The moment slows around her, shock at her actions mixing with mild panic, and she lowers the weapon in her hand. Happy silently hands the knife to Toby as she steps away from them.

“You’re crazy, lady!” one of them says as he gets up. His friend shoots her one terrified look as he flees, and Happy feels the shakes come on in a second.

Toby wraps his arm around her shoulders, and it’s only then that Happy realizes it’s started raining, a heavy downpour that had soaked her to the skin in seconds. She doesn’t know when the rain started. She only knows that her clothes and heart are a million times heavier.

“Whoa, okay, let’s get inside,” Toby says. His concern is written across his face, but it doesn’t take a second before Happy realizes his fingers are shaking too.

The doorman looks at them in surprise when they walk up to the hotel.

“Are you two okay?” he asks, bewildered.

Toby nods.

“We were mugged,” Happy says. “Well, they tried.” She holds up her purse. “We’re good.”

“Should – should I call the police?” he asks. It’s clear he’s got no knowledge of what to do with this, a kid new to Los Angeles with little experience with mugging.

Happy shakes her head. “We didn’t get a good enough look at them. Just keep an eye out – they were kids, clearly inexperienced. Had no idea what they were doing.”

The doorman nods, a little dumbfounded, and lets Happy and Toby into the hotel.

They hold it together long enough to check in, get their keys, take the elevator to their floor, but Happy knows that the second they get into the hotel room, she’s going to lose it.

Since Addie was born, more and more moments have triggered memories she had thought she’d forgotten, things she’d survived and things she’d seen that she’d hoped she’d never have to think of again.

But after that night in the club, after getting mugged, it’s at the front of her mind. But this time, for the first time, she’s not the only one who has to bear this burden. And, for the first time in ages, she doesn’t have to worry about who’s going to take care of Addie when she’s having a meltdown. She's got Toby, and shes safe.

She tears off her sopping jacket when they reach the room, and she can feel the hurricane whipping around her, memories and moments colliding in front of her. So she buries her face in Toby’s chest, reminding herself that he’s solid and real and hers. Reminding herself that she’s got him now – that she’s not alone in surviving this.

“We’re okay,” he says. “Happy, nothing happened.”

Happy nods, her breathing ragged and her hands shaking. “I need – I need to tell you,” she says. Her teeth are chattering, her mind is blurred. But the words will pour out soon, the panic blistering hot against her memory, and it opens the wounds she never wanted to remember.

“Okay, tell me,” Toby says soothingly. They sit on the bed. “Tell me anything you want.”

It bleeds out like a wound. The weeks of torment with Oliver that ended with a couple of kicks to the stomach that never bruised but never healed, the feeling of being useless and worthless when family after family left her behind.

And then thirteen, when she changed forever and she had thought she had given up on trusting people ever again.

“First foster family who I think liked me,” Happy says, and she’s curled up under the blankets in Toby’s arms, a white, warm hotel room robe pulled snugly around her shoulders. “I was thirteen. Rosa had just left for New York City. I felt alone, but at least the family, the Jacksons, liked me. They were older – like in their fifties, but they had a lot of family all around. And,” she swallows back memories like bile, “the dad had this brother. Carl.” The name stings her tongue like a nettle, like a wasp.

Toby rests his hand over hers, where she lay it over his heart so she can feel his heartbeat, something she can count on to repeat over and over again, count on to be there for her when she needs it most.

“I’m still not sure what exactly happened,” she says, the blur of the memory still startling but less so with Toby’s heartbeat echoing in her skin, “but I know – I know something did.” She forces her eyes open, forces herself to look into Toby’s hazel eyes instead of remembering Carl’s hideous blue ones.

Toby’s gaze is gentle, soft, safe. He brushes some hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs. “I’m so sorry, Happy.”

“They believed me,” Happy says, because she feels she needs to explain that. “They got me out of there right away. But when the social worker and police officer tried to talk to me, I couldn’t.” She shrugs. “I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t think. I just – I stopped.” She rests her face against his chest. “So I kept tabs on the guy, made sure he couldn’t hurt anyone else. He killed himself in a drunk driving accident a year later, so he never hurt anyone else.” She smiles bitterly. “He’s the reason I learned how to hack the way I do. So I could get into files without anyone knowing, keep an eye on that sleaze.”

“You’re amazing,” Toby says, kissing the top of her head. “I’m so proud of you.”

Happy shrugs. “I’ve done my best.”

“You’ve done amazing things,” he corrects.

Happy exhales. “That’s also when I learned how to fight. Once I got mugged when I was about sixteen. It didn’t go well for the mugger.”

“Kind of like tonight?” Toby asks.

She nods, and taps on his chest until he's laying on his back. Happy snuggles up to his side, resting her head on his chest. She's the most comfortable like this, the most safe. Ages ago she told Toby she had to defend his honor, but she means it - usually she feels like she needs to protect him. Except, right now, she's letting him take care of her. “Just like tonight.”

“You’re amazing,” Toby repeats. “I can’t believe how much you’ve survived, how great you are at everything you do. And on top of all that, you’re the best mother I’ve ever seen.”

“I have to be,” Happy says with a conviction she’s never felt before Addie came into her life. “I won’t let anything like that happen to my baby. The worst thing she’s ever going to feel is a stubbed toe or a broken bone because she fell on her bike or something.” She looks into Toby’s eyes. “Promise me, Toby. We’re doing everything to keep her safe.”

“I promise everything and my life,” Toby says. “And we don’t need to worry about her, I think. Our whole team will fight heaven and earth to protect her, and then she has you. And you,” he kisses her forehead, “are the best person in the world to have on your side. I don’t worry about Addie if you’re around.”

Happy smiles, finally she can smile. “I love you,” she says.

“I love you too,” Toby says. “More than I know how to express.”

They lay there in silence for about an hour, just resting with each other until they can regain their stability. Happy’s warm and safe here in this bed with Toby, but she misses Addie and doesn’t feel at home.

“Toby,” she says quietly.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he replies.

“I need Addie,” Happy admits.

“Oh, thank god,” he sighs. “I just want to go home.”

Their clothes have dried enough to put them back on and they rush out of the hotel. Happy half wants to see the muggers again to beat the shit out of them, get out some of the anger she feels, but they make it to their truck without any incident and they get home safely.

“Hey, wait,” Happy says before they go inside. She pulls Toby in and kisses him hard, trying to tell him how thankful she is that he’s in her life, that he’s her family, that he was so good at listening and helping and supporting.

“I love you, too,” Toby says, kissing her forehead. “And I think you’re amazing.”

“Oh, that’s a thing now,” Happy sighs, taking his hand. “You’re going to start saying that like ‘I’m proud of you’ now.”

Toby nods. “Yeah,” he admits. “Because I’ll always love you, I’ll always be proud of you, and I’ll always think you’re amazing.”

It’s sappy, it’s stupid, it’s cheesy, but it’s what Happy loves to hear and she’s going to hold those words close to her heart for the rest of her life, the feeling of warmth growing each time she hears them.

She takes a moment to steady herself, to be sure she’s stable and happy for her daughter.

Happy opens the door to see Ralph and Sylvester covered in chocolate, which is not what she needed after the night they’ve had. Toby walks in behind her.

“Why,” Toby says calmly, “is my daughter sitting in the sink and covered in chocolate?”

“She needed a bath,” Ralph responds.

“Why’d she need a bath?” Happy asks, setting her bag down. “Why is my freakin’ baby in the sink, covered in chocolate, taking a bath?” It’s ridiculous, silly, but the kind of ridiculous silly that Happy adores in this life of hers. If this is the kind of problems Addie faces in her life, Happy will be okay.

“Mama!” Addie says cheerily, reaching out for Happy. She splashes delightedly. “Mama, Mama, Mama!” It’s hard to be stuck in the past when that unreasonably cute face is calling her, “Mama,” near impossible. So Happy’s residual anxiety dissipates in favor of mild annoyance that her kid is covered in chocolate, sitting in her sink.

“What’d you two do,” Happy says, sighing. “Also, you really should have taken her diaper off before putting her in water.”

Ralph frowns. “We?” he asks. “We didn’t do anything.”

“Way to throw me under the bus there, Ralph,” Sylvester grumbles.

Ralph shrugs. “I’m not the one who left her on the counter next to the brownie mix.”

Toby looks at them. “I’m sorry, what?”

“We were making brownies,” Sylvester explains, “and she was being kind of clingy –”

“No she isn’t,” Toby says. "She's not clingy at all. She let us leave. That’s a big step.”

“Well, she cried every time I tried to put her down,” Sylvester explains. “And Ralph was in the bathroom, so I sat her on the counter for twenty seconds, tops, while I was trying to spray the stupid brownie pan with Pam, and in the three seconds my back was turned.” He points to Addie. “This happened.”

“You realize she’s never had chocolate before,” Happy says. “Like, we’ve been doing that on purpose.”

“Sugar and other excessively sweet things are addictive and also not healthful or nutritious,” Toby explains.

Sylvester rolls his eyes. “You guys are five seconds away from being health nut parents.”

“Are not!” Toby counters.

Ralph raises an eyebrow. “Are too.”

Addie is still delightedly splashing around in the water. “Dada?” she questions.

“Take off the hat,” Happy says. “She doesn’t recognize you in the hat.”

“Yes, she does,” Toby argues. “She’s just asking a question.”

“No, she just hates the hat,” Happy replies. “Take it off.”

“No!”

Addie’s lip wobbles.

“Okay, I’ll get rid of the hat.” Toby pulls it off and throws it somewhere in the living room. “There, baby girl, no more hat. Better?”

“Dada!” Addie exclaims, reaching out to him.

Happy grins at Toby.

“Okay,” Toby says, sounding resigned, “maybe she does hate the hat.”

Ralph and Sly say their goodbyes to Addie, little kisses to her cheeks that clearly melt Toby’s heart.

"Ba-ba, Wal," Addie says to Ralph with a little wave. "Ba-ba Unka Silly."

"Uncle Silly?" Toby asks, looking gleeful. "That's going to stick. You're Uncle Silly for the rest of your life."

Sylvester shrugs. "I mean, it sounds like a Super Fun Guy Character, so I'm good with it."

"Unka Sil-Sil," Addie giggles.

When everyone's left, Happy takes Addie to the tub for a real bath, one that’s not in the damn kitchen sink. Addie splashes delightedly.

“Water,” Happy explains, pouring water over Addie’s shoulders. “This is called water, Addie Grace.”

“Wada,” Addie replies after a moment’s concentration.

“Yes!” Happy exclaims. “Oh, you’re getting really good.”

“Mama wada!” Addie says.

“What?” Happy asks.

“Mama wada!” Addie exclaims again, and then promptly fills one of her buckets and splashes it in Happy’s face.

Happy is so startled she yelps as Addie giggles, splashing it around.

“Mama wada!” she says again

“Mama’s wet,” Happy replies, peeling off her tank top and throwing on the bathroom floor. “You goofball.”

Addie smiles at her, and Happy melts. “And you’re too cute for Mama to be upset with you,” Happy sighs. “You better hope that keeps up for a couple of years. You could get away with murder.”

There’s a lot Happy has survived to make it to this part of her life, to reach a point where her days are filled with love instead of fear. But with the smile on Addie’s face, the absolute joy in her smile, Happy can feel it repairing the fractures in her heart.

As terrifying as being a parent is, Happy couldn’t be, well, happier.

Addie points to her ear. “Moo-moo?” she asks.

It took them weeks to figure out that moo-moo meant music instead of a cow or milk. Happy had been holding out multiple bottles of milk for Addie before realizing she was completely disinterested in anything other than a song.

Happy pulls out her phone and starts playing Queen’s greatest hits. Addie babbles along to Bohemian Rhapsody, hitting nearly every note.

“How are you doing that?” Happy asks as Addie says, “Ba da ba ba da babada ba doo da do badaboobadaboo doo da doo da dan dan doh.”

“The lyrics are, ‘I see a little silhouette-o of a man, Scaramouch, Scaramouch, can you do the fandango,’ but I see your point.” Happy kisses Addie’s forehead. “You’re a pretty good singer.”

Addie starts splashing along, drumming on top of the water, once the song changes, and Happy sings along, embarrassingly tone deaf, to Killer Queen.

“I’m beginning to wonder if we should be more discerning when it comes to lyrics,” Happy mutters.

And it really stops being cute when Fat Bottomed Girls comes on.

“Okay, not that one,” she says. “Maybe when you’re older.”

Addie starts repeating, “Bada, bada, bada,” which Happy hopes isn’t her attempt to be saying “bottom.”

“You’re not allowed to sing ‘bottom’ in front of Dad,” Happy says.

“What about me?” Toby asks. His eyebrows rise. “What happened to you?”

“Your daughter,” Happy replies, wringing out her hair in the tub. “Your daughter happened to me.”

“Yeah,” Toby says, sighing. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Dada wada?” Addie asks.

Happy tries not to give it away. “Oh, show Daddy, Addie Grace.”

Toby comes to kneel next to the tub. “Yeah, baby?”

Addie splashes him with the bucket in the same way she did to Happy, and Happy bursts into a fit of laughter she can’t control.

“Oh, that was mean!” Toby exclaims, laughing along with Addie, who is splashing with utmost delight. “Baby girl, you splashed me!” He turns to Happy. "And you let her."

“Das das!” Addie exclaims. “Das das Dada!”

“Close enough!” Toby says. He scoops Addie up in his arms and Happy tosses him a towel. He wraps her up and calls her “baby burrito”, rocking her with kisses to her nose and her forehead as she blows raspberries on his scruffy cheeks.

“Mama mama?” Addie says, and Happy comes over and kisses her face too. Addie wiggles her arms out of the towel and wraps her arms around Happy’s shoulders. “Mama mama.”

Happy holds Addie close like a lifeline, here on this water and joy soaked bathroom floor, and she meets Toby’s eyes.

She can read him. That as much as the two of them saw pain and suffering and hopeless tomorrows, they made it. They made it here with each other and the little girl who is part of both of them for the rest of their lives.

“Mama Dada,” Addie says authoritatively. “Mama, Dada, Adda.”

“Yeah, baby girl,” Toby replies, leaning in to kiss the top of Addie’s head. “Mommy, Daddy, and Addie. Always.”


	45. Addie, 11 months 3 weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love makes you vulnerable.

Happy has her hands linked with Addie’s as she stands on Happy’s legs, bouncing joyfully.

“There you go, kiddo!” she says, smiling. “You’re standing all by yourself.”

Addie giggles and lets her legs give out, sitting on Happy’s lap. “Mama,” she replies, burying her face in Happy’s chest. She wraps her arms around Happy’s chest, little hands curling in Happy’s tee shirt.

“Getting sleepy?” Happy asks, settling her hands on Addie’s back.

“No slee,” Addie mumbles. “No slee, Mama.”

“Yes, sleep,” Happy says gently. She checks her watch. “It’s after lunch. Nap time.”

“No na,” she says firmly. “I pay.”

“No playing,” Happy says, picking Addie up. “We can walk, though. Go for a walk around the garage?”

“Wa!” Addie exclaims, clapping. “I wa.”

“Walk,” Toby corrects, walking in with two cups of coffee in his hands. “You will walk.”

“Daddy, Daddy,” Addie says. She’s got a tiny smile on her face when she rests her hand against Toby’s shoulder. “Hi Daddy.”

“That was perfect,” Toby says, kissing her forehead.

“How come she talks correctly for you?” Happy asks, rocking side to side with Addie in her arms. She can feel Addie relax against her, a clear sign she’s getting ready to sleep.

“Because Daddy is easier to say than Mommy,” Toby says, matter of factly. “How come she’ll take a nap for you?”

“No slee!” Addie says, shifting up straight. “No slee, no na, Daddy.”

Happy sighs. “Apparently, she won’t.” She looks at Addie. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“Dee!” Addie exclaims.

“Yes, baby, a deal,” Happy says. “If you sit quietly in your crib with your toys, and you let me tuck you in, you don’t have to nap.”

“No slee!” Addie exclaims. “Ye, Mama.”

Happy kisses her cheek. “Alright, then. Good deal.”

“Goody,” Addie agrees, and she settles in her crib.

Happy walks back over to Toby.

“She’s going to fall asleep in five minutes,” Toby says. “I’m sure of it. She always sleeps for you.”

Happy shrugs. “Mama’s got talent.”

Happy’s about to start putting together the parts for Walter’s new machine, but once she gets started, the doors bang open. She automatically looks over at Addie – she’s still asleep. She could sleep through an earthquake. A strange group of people walk in – Paige, looking pale, alongside Molina, Cabe, and Cooper, all looking extremely stony faced. Walking may be too soft a word – their pace is closer to speeding.

“What’s with the rush, guys?” Toby asks. His legs are kicked up on the desk. And his expression changes when he gets a look at Cabe’s face. “What the hell is going on?”

Paige’s hands shake as the hold the file in her hand, her face pale.

“Talk to us, guys,” Happy says. “Not all of us are mind readers. What is it this time? Nuke headed conveniently straight for LA? Again?”

Paige looks at Happy, her mouth open like she’s trying to speak. She’s silent.

“And now you’re freaking me out,” Toby says. He sets down his books and stands, walking slowly to the four people in the center of the garage. “Say something.”

Happy keeps working, desperate for something to distract her hands. She’s never been good with tense silence – it an unbearable reminder of worse days. “Yeah, we haven’t got all day.”

Happy’s not as worried as Toby. At least, not until Paige ever so slightly glances over to Addie’s pack and play and her expression grows more terrified.

“Why’d you look at Addie?” Happy says. Cold fear washes down her spine. “What’s wrong with my daughter?” She walks toward them with a storm in her feet. “Talk. Now.”

Cooper exchanges a look with Paige. “Tell her,” she says gently.

“I – I got a message,” Paige says, her voice trembling as much as her hands. “An email, telling me to call Molina.”

“Okay, and what does this have to do with my daughter?” Happy asks. They’re talking around the issue, taking more time than they need to, not telling her what she needs to know.

They need to start talking. Now.

“They said Molina would have the answer,” Cabe says. “Paige and I went over together.”

“Before Happy explodes,” Toby says, his voice not even partially calming her for once, “get to the point.”

Molina holds up a phone.

And the voice that rings out sends a chill down Happy’s spine that glues her feet to the floor.

“What did they just say?” Happy asks, feeling suddenly extremely cold. She walks over to Addie’s pack and play as if in a trance. It’s a moment of relief when she sees her little face, serene with sleep, from where she’s got a corner of her blanket in her mouth. But even so, Happy can’t smile. She reaches down and holds Addie’s hand, just to remind herself she’s there.

She turns back to the team. “What the fuck did they just say?”

Cooper looks terrified. “The people Merrick was working with –”

“I know who we’re dealing with,” Happy snaps, keeping her voice as collected as possible. She leans down and makes sure to smile, fake as it is, when she picks up Addie. It’s her job to be scared. Addie doesn’t need to know fear, even asleep.

Wrapping Addie in the blanket and settling her against her shoulder, Happy walks back to the team. “Play the recording again.”

“Happy, I’m not sure –”

Happy moves Toby’s hand from her shoulder and instead grips it tightly, pretending her grip isn’t hard enough to hurt him. He’s stoic, and squeezes back like Happy holds his. They need each other. They need each other more than they ever have before. “Play it,” she says through clenched teeth, “again.”

The voice is hideous. Mechanical, methodical, matter of fact. It horrifies Happy as much as it enrages her.

_This is the group to whom former Director Merrick was indebted. You will finish his directive. You will do as you are told. Or the child known as Adalyn Quinn will be targeted. Survival is unlikely without cooperation. Await our instructions._

“I’ll fucking kill them,” Happy growls after a beat of silence.

“Right behind you,” Toby replies, and Happy’s not sure she’s ever seen that look on his face.

“This message was meant specifically for the whole team,” Walter says, “so I’m not sure why only Addie was identified as a target.”

“I know why,” Toby says, and Happy realizes he’s moved so he can touch his fingers to Addie’s, so he can prove to himself she’s still here, still okay. Happy gets it – it’s the reason she picked her daughter up. “Threatening a child is one thing – everyone knows that Ralph is part of the team. It would be a strong impact. But,” Toby pauses, clearly collecting himself, “he could get out of anything, given the time. Addie,” they all look at that sweet little face cuddled up in her purple blanket, asleep with a serenity none of the team have known in years, “Addie hasn’t got any defenses yet.”

Happy swallows and decides her kid is never going to be out of the sight of one of her team members or Patrick again.

“Okay,” she says. “That’s settled. Until this Beijing thing is finished, Addie doesn’t leave our sight. Neither does Ralph. I don’t want to risk him, either.” She turns to Paige, who has gone so pale it’s almost ghostly. “We need to send somebody to pick him up. Somebody from Homeland?”

“No,” Toby says. “They got to the Director of Homeland Security. We can’t trust anybody.”

“I’ll go get Ralph now,” Paige says, concern written on her face. “I wouldn’t be okay with him being with anybody but me right now.”

“I’ll go with you,” says Walter. They’re out of the door in the next moment.

The silence is heavy and horrible as it settles on their shoulders. It’s the realization that all that they’ve seen in the past few months, even years, is culminating in this minute. They couldn’t beat Scorpion, so they threatened the only person would can’t defend herself. And the Cyclone doesn’t even know who “they” is.

“So,” Toby says, voice cutting at the silence, “what do we do?”

“We take them down,” Cooper says, looking more dangerous than Happy’s ever seen her. “Now.”

“Now?” Happy asks, holding Addie closer. “How now?” She looks down and realizes Addie’s curled her hand gently around the collar of Happy’s shirt, her breathing the steady sound of sleep against Happy’s chest. “I’m not sure I can leave her. Not yet.”

There’s something understanding in Cooper’s eyes. “It’s always going to be hard,” she assures her. “That’s just normal parenthood. But this,” she pauses. “This is urgent, but we have some time. We need to get everything together – no rash moves.”

“Step one, call Patrick,” Toby says. He whips out the phone and gets a hold of Patrick in minutes.

Happy rocks Addie, as Toby explains the situation, running through every possible next step they could take. There are logical options, irrational options, and emotional options. Right now, though, Happy just wants to find this scum bag and rip him to shreds. She knows Toby would say it’s an emotional response, but, in Happy’s mind, it’s rational: murder the sleaze so he can’t touch her or her family ever again.

Patrick bolts in the door, fifteen minutes later, a giant bag of toys he keeps at his house for Addie in his hands.

“How can I help?” he asks, looking frantic.

“We’re okay right now,” Toby says, and Happy envies his ability to stay calm right now. “We all are.”

“Good,” Patrick says. His shoulders relax as he walks up to Addie. “Hey, sweetie pie.”

Addie wakes up at the sound of his voice, and coos and giggles when she sees Patrick, babbling consonants that almost sound like, “Grampy.”

“Hey there, little one,” Patrick says, tickling Addie’s tummy. She giggles with delight. “Oh, did you get bigger since last week? You’re so grown up!”

When Addie leans out to Patrick, Happy doesn’t want to let her go. But Addie looks so delighted to be with Patrick that she sucks it up and hands her to him.

“Bamby, Bamby, Bamby,” Addie says delightedly.

Happy tucks the blanket around Addie’s shoulders as she snuggles into Patrick’s shoulder.

“No one will come near her when she’s with me,” he promises. “We’ll hang out here, have a sleepover, right sweetie?”

Addie nods. “Bamby!” she exclaims. “Bamby and Waf.”

Happy nods. “Yes, you get to hang out with Grampy and Ralph today. You’re going to have so much fun.” She hopes that’s not a lie, that it will be a fun night, but she can’t be sure. She leans in and kisses Addie’s forehead. “Right, love?”

“Tun, tun, tun!” Addie exclaims.

“Fun,” Happy replies. “Try ‘fff’.”

Addie tries but accidentally spits in Happy’s face.

“Close enough.” Happy manages a smile, a kiss to Addie’s cheeks. Addie responds by pressing her open mouth to Happy’s face, an action so ridiculous that Happy manages a smile.

“I love you,” Happy whispers, resting her hand on Addie’s arm. “Addie Grace, I love you so much.” She needs Addie to hear the words, to understand them.

“Love you, Mama,” Addie says, smiling at Happy as she pats Happy’s arm. “Mama, mama.”

It takes a moment for Happy to process what’s just happened, because Addie’s never said that before, has never put together those words in that way. It’s the first time Addie’s ever said she loves someone and it’s Happy who got to hear it. It’s enough to steady her, to keep her heart from breaking and bleeding in her chest.

“I will keep you safe,” Happy promises, feeling her heart pull back together as she memorizes the smile on Addie’s face. “And Mommy’s always coming back.”

“Yeah, Mama,” Addie says, nodding. “Bamby now.”

Happy laughs, unable to resist a last kiss to Addie’s forehead. “It is Grampy time.”

Paige and Walter walk into the room, but what's really startling is the grim expression on Ralph's face. Happy hates seeing kids look so serious.

"Hey, Ralph!" Patrick says. He's weirdly good at faking a positive attitude. Happy needs to get better at that, for Addie's sake.

"Waf!" Addie exclaims. "Go pay! Pay house!"

Ralph nods. "Of course we can." He shoots a worried look over at Toby, who smiles back at Ralph, and they make their way over to the dollhouse. Patrick closes the curtain of the Addie Space.

Happy takes a few deep breathes to try and control herself, then walks over to the team and rolls her sleeves up. She lets the rage and the fear fuel her, because she knows herself well enough to know the catastrophic effects if she tried to restrain it.

“What do we do?” she asks. She grips the side of the table to keep her hands from shaking, to try and keep control.

Toby looks at her. “You need a minute?”

Happy shakes her head. “What do we do?” she repeats. No other words exist in her head right now. All she wants is to know how to save her daughter. “What do we do?”

Toby looks at her and all she can do is look back, because she doesn’t know anything she can say to tell him what she needs. “Well, their goal is to try and manipulate us.”

“Then they’ve met their goal,” Molina says flippantly, “because Happy’s half ready to murder.”

“Yeah, half ready to murder you if you don’t shut up,” Happy snaps, and it’s only when Cabe startles, clear shock written across his usually calm face, that she realizes what she’s said. They whole team, even Toby, is all looking at her like she’s ready to lose it. And maybe she is. Happy forces herself to relax, releases her grip on the table. And she steps away. “I – I’ll be back in a minute,” she says, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “I need to take a walk.”

Without a word, Toby throws Happy his hoodie. She catches it without looking and walks outside. She pulls it on over her shoulders, and recognizes it as his favorite, the Boston hoodie.

It makes her think of Addie, and then the rage boils over. She screams into the palm of her hand, letting it echo in her ears instead of in the driveway. She feels her entire body tighten like a rubber band pulled too far, like if she lets go she’s going to fly off the handle.

Happy drops her hand from her mouth and aims a kick at the trash can, her foot plowing through the cheap green plastic like it was glass. It’s not helping, but it’s not making anything worse, so she destroys it, ignoring the searing pain of a cut up her ankle.

Her anger fades and she sees that she pummeled the thing to shards, and her pant leg is damp from blood.

And, she’s shocked to find when she raises her hand to her face, her face is wet with tears.

She rubs them off her face, but not in time to hide them from Toby. She hadn’t even noticed him, but he’s standing with his hands in his pockets just watching her.

“Hey,” he says quietly.

“How long you been there?” Happy asks gruffly, and she realizes she must have shifted to sobbing somewhere in there, her chest feeling tight and her eyes heavy.

“Once I heard you scream,” he says quietly. He’s even calm. She doesn’t know how he’s doing it.

“Why aren’t you freaking out?” she asks, yanking her hair back in her ponytail. It had fallen into a mess somewhere during her meltdown, and she wants some sort of order. This is one thing she can control right now, no matter how minimal. “How are you so calm?”

He steps toward her, his hands in his pockets. “I’m not,” he replies. “I’m faking it. Got good at faking it when I was younger.”

Happy’s got so much to say. She’s scared, she’s heartbroken, she’s furious, she’s aching, she’s in a world of pain.

But words don’t matter right now.

She walks up to Toby and hugs him tight, her face pressed to his chest so nothing else can get between them. Because if he’s solid, if he’s here, that means they’re okay.

If she’s got him, they can save Addie.

The way he’s holding her is almost like a lifeline, like he’s as scared as she is in this moment. He doesn’t let it show, but she can feel it in his heartbeat. Quicker than she’s used to, enough of a difference that she feels it.

Throughout their relationship, throughout the early stages and the fear and the near-death experiences, they’ve had each other.

And then, almost a year before this unseasonably cold, early October day, Addie came into the picture. And they found the only person more important to the two of them than each other.

“We’re going to find them,” Toby says, his voice a promise. “They’re going nowhere near our girl.”

Happy nods and pulls away. “Because we’re going to kill them.”

“If it comes to it,” Toby says, “yes, we will.” He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “But before we hit something that drastic, I think I know how to turn their own plan against them.”

“You do?” Happy asks. “How?”

Toby smiles, pulls her in to kiss her gently, something small and reassuring. “Hold your horses, babe,” he says quietly.

“Don’t call me babe,” Happy mumbles. But she feels better now, and she grabs his hand and squeezes. “Let’s go back inside, okay?”

Toby nods.

The second Happy walks in the door she hears, “Mama mama!”

Addie reaches out for her with a grin that could probably save Happy from hell, and Happy rushes in, cuddling Happy. “Hey, beautiful,” Happy says. “Having fun with Grampy?”

“Bamby bamby!” Addie says, nodding. She rests her cheek on Happy’s, half falling out of Patrick’s arms. “Love Mama.”

“What?!” Toby exclaims, and Happy can’t even tell from his smile how scared he is. She wants to learn how to do that. “Did you just say you love Mama?”

Addie nods. “My Mama,” she says authoritatively.

“But I love Mommy!” Toby argues. “She’s mine.”

“Mine!” Addie giggles. “My Mama."

“What about me?” Toby teases.

Addie sighs. “My Daddy.”

They take a moment, in front of everybody, to have a moment together. Happy couldn’t care less about who’s watching – somebody’s just gotten in the way of her family, and she needs to remember to focus. Because she’s not going to let anyone get in between this.

“Mama, mama,” Addie says, patting the side of Happy’s head. “Mama.”

“Yes, Addie Grace, I’m your Mama,” Happy replies. “Always will be.” She leans in and kisses Addie’s nose. Addie giggles.

“So, Toby,” Happy says, exhaling to steady herself. “Tell us your idea.”


	46. The Addie Grace Defense Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing Happy won't do to save Addie. Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR: Gun violence, blood, knives, gendered language, hospitals, and just a lot of angst.

Toby lays out his plan so rapidly that Happy’s pretty sure that Cabe, Cooper, and Molina got lost in the fray, Paige only holding on because she’s dealt with them for so long.

“Can we – hold on,” Cabe says. “Can we start over? Are we seriously convinced we can hoodwink a psychopath into falling for a trap?”

“First of all, great use of the world ‘hoodwink’. Second of all, it’s assumed psychopath,” Toby corrects. “And, yes. They are rather easy to manipulate once you give them the assumption that they have the power. You have to play into their desires.”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “And you’re sure.”

When Toby turns to her, there’s an intensity to his gaze that Happy almost can’t handle. “This is about Addie,” he says, and, even though his voice is calm, quiet, and collected, Happy can tell there’s a raging fire burning behind the words, “I couldn’t be more sure.”

“Surer,” Cabe corrects. They all look at him. “Sorry. I just never get to correct you guys. Feels pretty good.”

“Anyway,” Walter says pointedly, “if we’re going to make this work, we have to do a lot of practice. Make this look real.”

“Look real?” Happy asks.

Toby nods. “We have to assume that they have bugs everywhere.”

“Like, in our houses everywhere?” Happy asks. “Because that’s disturbing.”

“Let’s hope not,” Toby replies. “But probably outside the garage, near our places.” He looks at everybody. “Hey, Paige, where did you get that email?”

“At home, on my phone,” she replies. “Why?”

“And what time?”

“Seven this morning,” she replies. “Again, why?”

“And the time stamp,” Toby continues. “It was at seven, as well?”

“Yeah, I opened the email when it was delivered. And once again, why is this important?”

“So they contacted you after Ralph left,” Toby mutters. He begins pacing. “Okay, so we have to assume he has eyes outside some of our homes, because he threatened when he knews Paige was alone and most vulnerable. But probably not outside our place,” he points to Happy, “because he probably knows the two of us would find any bug he’d plant.”

“Good point,” Happy says. “I’ve checked for stuff like that ever since Addie was born.”

“So we need to show these guys exactly what we want them to see,” Toby explains. “We’ll fake an argument, and then Happy will have to storm out of here, livid. Make it look like she’s going to lose her mind.”

“I mean, you already did that,” Molina says pointedly. “Just do what you did before.”

“What, threaten to murder you?” Happy asks. “Look, Molina, are you a parent?” Molina shakes her head. “Then shut your mouth.”

The rest of the room jolts. “Happy, I want you to remember that you’re speaking to the head of Homeland Security,” Cabe says hesitantly.

“Yeah?” Happy asks. “Well, I’m also speaking to somebody who was willing to sacrifice Sly for the greater good, or whatever. So forgive me if I don’t trust her with my daughter’s life.”

Toby settles a hand on the small of her back. “You don’t have to trust her,” Toby says, voice calm and even. “You just have to trust us.”

Happy looks over at Addie, who is playing a complicated version of Patty Cake with Ralph and Patrick.

“I do trust you guys,” she says quietly. “I’m just scared.”

“So am I,” Toby says. “More than I can say.”

“As disrespectful as it is,” Molina begins, “it’s a good start. Just keep this attitude up and we’ll be able to convince this guy you’ll do what he wants to save Addie. We have to make this look as real as possible.”

Happy blinks. “So I actually have to leave the garage and pretend like I’m mad at all of you? I can be actually pissed off at Molina,” she glares pointedly, “but the rest of you? I can’t act for shit!”

“You were pretty great when we had to snow that MI-6 lady,” Sylvester says. “You’re going to be fine.”

Happy turns to Toby. “Are you sure I can do this?”

“Yes,” he says plainly. “You’re Happy Quinn. You can do anything.”

She rolls her eyes. “Okay, going a little far, there, Doc.”

They prep Happy for the dramatic argument and exit. Paige, Molina, and Cabe have been chosen as the people to fight Happy’s idea to work with the enemy. Toby and Sly are going to argue to save Addie, but then Happy’s going to go rogue and leave.

She’s secretly pleased that Molina volunteered to argue with Happy. It’ll give her the opportunity to say things to the Homeland director she’s kept quiet for years.

“You ready?” Toby says quietly. “I want to see you as pissed as the time Walter killed me.”

Happy manages a laugh. “That’ll be fun. Nobody’s dying this time, though.”

Molina nods, keeping the door closed but cracking a window.

Paige’s eyes flicker over to Happy. Happy nods back to her.

“Happy, you need to realize, we’re not going to let anything happen to her,” Paige says. “But we can’t give in to their threats.”

“I’m not giving in!” Happy replies. “I’m negotiating.”

“We’re the US,” Cabe says. “We don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

“Well, I’m not part of the government. I’m a contractor,” Happy replies. “So maybe I do negotiate.”

“Happy, think about this,” Molina says, and the condescension feels a little more genuine than Happy would like. “You’ve have this whole team behind you. We’ll figure this out. You need to calm down.”

“Calm down?!” Happy exclaims. “You don’t have kids. You don’t get it.”

“We’ll figure this out,” Paige says, calmly.

“Oh, come on,” Happy shouts. “Like Merrick figured things out? They got to the former Director, Paige. We’ve got nothing.”

“Merrick was –”

“Oh, shut up,” Happy snaps, interrupting Molina.

“Happy’s right, guys,” Sylvester says. “We might need to negotiate this. Molina, Cabe, Cooper, you can be out of the situation. But Scorpion can figure this out.”

“Thank you,” Happy says. Toby rests a hand on Happy’s. She keeps forgetting this is for show – fighting over how to save her daughter is too high stakes for her to step back from. “Somebody else say something rational.”

“We’re not negotiating,” Molina says. “This is bigger than –”

“Oh, so we’re going to sacrifice Addie like you tried to sacrifice Sylvester?!” Happy shouts. She glances over to Ralph, Patrick and Addie – her daughter is asleep. She’s not hearing any of this now. “I’m going to handle this on my own,” Happy says, her tone dark and angry. “Toby, stay with my dad. Keep an eye on Addie.” She mouths ‘sorry’ to everyone. “I don’t trust any of these people with her.”

Toby nods. “Good luck, Hap,” he says, barely audible.

She squeezes his hand.

“Happy, you can’t go on your own,” Cabe says. “This is ridiculous.”

“No, the fact that you’re willing to give up my daughter – the baby who calls you Pop – for some stupid protocol that’s been ignored before,” Happy steps away, “is ridiculous.”

“You can’t go,” Molina repeats.

“Try and stop me,” Happy threatens.

With a final glance back to the team accompanied by a smile, she steps over to Addie. Her baby wakes up when Happy presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Hey, baby,” Happy says quietly. “This is all fake. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Addie nods. “Love Mama,” she says. “Bye-bye.”

“See you later, baby,” Happy repeats. She kisses the top of Addie’s head. “I love you.”

Happy blasts out of the garage and slams the door for effect. She pulls her keys out of her back pocket and steps into the car, closing the door. It feels incredibly wrong to be this mad at the people she considers family, as fake as the anger is.

Then her phone rings, and she freezes for a moment. Her hands shake as she reaches for phone.

She answers. “Hello?”

“Happy Quinn?”

Happy’s blood goes ice cold at the voice. It’s the same distortion as the message left for Molina. It’s him. “Who’s asking?”

“I think you know who I am,” the voice says, deep and threatening. “I saw you.”

“How?” Happy snaps.

The voice chuckles. “You think I don’t have eyes everywhere? Like you said. We got to Director – excuse me. Former Director Merrick.” She can practically hear the sleazy grin in his voice. “What makes you think I can’t get to you?”

“Tell me what to do to take care of Addie,” she demands. “If you come anywhere near my daughter –”

“Now, now, no need to get dramatic,” the voice interrupts. “As long as you do as I say, Adalyn is completely safe. I would never hurt a child unless I had to.”

Happy tries to ignore the feeling of slimy horror slide down her spine. “Tell me what to do.”

And he does.

“Okay,” Happy says, swallowing. “I’ll do it.”

“Twelve pm this afternoon,” he reiterates. “No later. And come alone, unless you can pull the rest of your team into this. But, you know? I don’t trust them.”

Happy goes silent.

“Oh, that’s so sad,” he says, condescending as possible, “that no one else cares for your daughter as much as you. Not even Dr. Curtis, her father.” He scoffs. “Nothing compares to a mother’s love, now, does it?”

“I won’t contact any of them,” Happy says. “They’re dead to me if they don’t care about Addie.”

“Good to hear,” the voice says. “See you in two hours. Bring the information.”

“I will,” Happy says. “I just need to go to my apartment first, to get all the numbers.”

“Contact no one,” he says.

“I won’t.”

The line goes dead, and Happy slumps against the seat of their soccer mom car.

“Guys?” she says, hoping the com picked up the conversation. “Please tell me you’re there.”

“Picked up everything,” Toby says. God, it’s good to hear his voice. “You did great, Happy. So great. But right now, try not to make it look like you’re talking to anyone. Make it look like you’re crying.”

“I don’t know if I could swing that,” Happy says hesitantly. She’s got no idea how she looks when she cries. She doesn’t know how to fake this.

“You can,” Toby says. “I know you can.”

Happy inhales slowly, screwing up her face in the best mockery of crying. “Doing my best, here. You guys have the location, everything?”

“We do,” Toby says. “I’ll try to call you. You have to ignore every single phone call, okay? We’ll only turn on the coms when we’re sure they can’t be intercepted, so you’re going to be on your own for a short amount of time.”

“Okay,” she says. “And, guys? Thanks.”

“Of course,” Paige says. “We’re always going to be here. See you soon.”

“Yeah.”

Happy turns her side of the com system off. She hopes it just looked like she was pushing her hair behind her ear. She fakes tears for a little longer, dropping her face on the steering wheel for a little more effect, and then sits up, ready to drive to the apartment. She’s not actually picking anything up there, but she figured it’d be a good thing to add to the drama of this.

“Okay,” she says, stopping at her apartment. “Okay, I can do this. This is really stupid.” She scrambles to write down numbers, data, names of high level Homeland people. She figures that actual data would be better for someone who isn’t a genius as opposed to just verbal reports. Besides, it gives her a chance to cool down, splash some water on her face. Breathe.

Her hands are shaking. This is the worst thing she’s ever had to do.

She looks at herself in the mirror for a split second. Though it’s only been a few hours since the beginning of this drama but she looks like she’s aged about ten years.

“Okay, Quinn,” she says. “You can do this. Chill out.” She pulls a hand through her hair. “Just – the team is behind you. Just get through this.”

She turns on the com system. “Guys? I’m at my apartment. No bugs here.”

“Hey, Hap,” comes Paige’s voice. “Toby’s with Addie. She couldn’t sleep, so he’s singing to her and rocking her as they walk around the garage. I think it’s Queen.”

Happy laughs. “Glad to hear it.”

“Hold on. I’ll tell him to turn on the com.”

Toby comes in. “Hey, Happy!” he says. “Addie, say hi to Mommy.”

“Mama mama!” Addie exclaims. “Hi, Mama.”

“Hi Addie,” Happy replies. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

She hears Toby repeat what Happy said.

“Mama mama,” Addie says again. Happy hears her yawn.

“Go to sleep for Daddy, Addie Grace,” Happy says. “I’ll be back when you wake up.”

“Mama, mama,” Addie mumbles. “Nuh-ni, Mama.”

“Goodnight, Addie.”

“Of course she’s sleeping for you,” Toby laughs. “Hopefully she stays asleep this time.”

“Hope so,” Happy replies quietly.

“See you soon, Hap.” Toby’s voice is shaky, like he’s trying to hold it together for Happy’s sake. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Happy replies. “I’ll turn coms back on when I know it’s safe.”

Two hours go by incredibly quickly, and she arrives just at noon. She’s shaking as she puts her car in park, a couple of Addie’s cheerios crunching under her boots.

She laughs. “Doing this for you, Addie Grace,” she says quietly.

Happy walks into the dank garage. It’s strange, really. For someone who has spent her life in garages, who calls one her second home, she’s never felt so uncomfortable in a place like this. It smells wrong, wet and dirty, no comforting scent of oil or worked metal to which she feels so accustomed.

She feels like something is crawling up her back, watching her. To reassure herself, she takes inventory of her defenses: she feels the knife at her ankle, the gun at the small of her back, the com in her ear. Her senses have never been so alert in her life, her adrenaline never so high.

She knows the plan. Be desperate, act irrationally, and give off the air of someone who is willing to do anything to get what she needs. She’ll wield a gun, shout, throw paperwork. Anything to save Addie. Anything to keep her family safe.

And that’s when she sees him. He’s nondescript, small, unassuming. He’s exactly the guy who would threaten a baby.

Happy tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, turning on the com as she does so.

“We’re here,” comes Toby’s voice quietly.

The comfort from hearing him dissipates the second the man speaks. “Well, well, well,” he says, smiling at her. “Look who we have here.”

Happy doesn’t half hesitate when she pulls out her gun from her jeans, cocks it, and points it directly at his face. “So,” she says, eying the man in front of her. “You’re the piece of trash who threatened my daughter.”

He’s staring her down with the same venom that Happy knows is in her own eyes. “You’re the mother who gave in to the manipulation,” he replies. “Who really loses here?”

Happy scoffs. “My kid’s safe at the garage. I’ve got a Glock leveled at your heart. I think it’s you.”

“You won’t do anything,” he says. “You came here alone because you know that we’ll get at her no matter what.” He pouts, a gesture that not so subtly enrages Happy. “Sad that your baby daddy didn’t come here with you?”

“Didn’t need him,” Happy replies. “I can take care of this on my own. Besides, Addie needs him more than I do right now.”

The man laughs. “Sure,” he replies. “Or maybe he just doesn’t care enough to come with.”

A couple of years ago that would have hit Happy. There’s a chance she might have believed it, that it might have thrown her off.

But she knows that the whole team is behind her right now, Molina and Cooper and all of them, and she’s playing the part of the mother who has given in. Scorpion’s the first family she’s ever had, and they’re all behind her to protect Addie and take these people down once and for all. But she has to play a part, just for now. A little hesitation, faking a tiny bit that she believes they might not be behind her.

“You know what to do,” says Toby. His voice is quiet and steady in her ear.

“I could shoot you right now,” Happy says, steadying the gun. “Just right now. And it’s all over for you.”

“You know there are others.”

She scoffs. “None who know who I am or where my daughter is,” she shoots back.

“I touched a nerve,” he says, smiling. “Is that, perhaps, because you had to come here alone?”

“No,” Happy says, trying her best to make it sound like a desperate lie. “I came here alone because I knew they wouldn’t agree with my decision. And I bet you heard all of that.”

The man smiles at her, standing. “I did hear all of that. And they didn’t come with you because they don’t give a damn about you or your daughter.”

“Shut up,” Happy growls. In a moment she thinks she’s blown it, by reacting to this way the man badmouths the people she’s grown to love. But a split second later she realizes he’s interpreted it wrong – he thinks she’s beginning to doubt her team.

He smiles again, toothy and predatory. “Why don’t you come with me, Miss Quinn,” he says. “Ouch. Still a Miss. That ever sting?”

“No,” Happy replies. “I proposed once. It didn’t take.”

Toby lets out a half laugh in her ear, and it calms her.

“Ouch,” he says again, “he didn’t even say yes. That’s rough.”

She rolls her eyes, and finally drops her gun. “Just – tell me what information you need so I know my daughter’s safe.” She swallows. “Please.”

He relaxes, rocking on his heels. “Oh, you poor thing,” he sighs. “Of course.” Happy pulls out her papers. “Oh, no,” he says. “You’ll be typing everything in yourself, with a gun at the back of your skull. I don’t want you dropping all the information and then running off on me with false data.” He steps toward her, pulling his own gun, small and compact, out of his pocket. And aims it at her face. “Start typing.”

Happy nods. “Just show me your laptop. I’ll do whatever.”

It’s exactly what they had been hoping for. Now, as long as they can access the computer through wifi, they can get access to every piece of data this group has. They can win this, and prevent anything like this from happening to anyone ever again. If it was anybody else, Happy would be convinced they couldn’t get into the computer. But Walter’s the one hacking, and if she trusts anybody on that end, she trusts him.

“Sit down,” the man says. Happy feels the gun at the back of her head.

“Hey, could you let up on the gun?” Happy asks. “One wrong move and you lose all the data. I don’t want to blow my head all in front of your laptop.”

The guy rolls his eyes. “Fine.”

Happy feels comforted as she watches a little window at the side of the screen, barely visible, showing the download. That’s her team. They’re here. She has backup.

It takes too long, agonizingly long, to get this done, even though she knows she’s inputting bad data and there’s no way he could figure that out before she’s gone.

“Okay, it’s done,” she says, standing up. “Everything’s put in.”

“Not yet!” Toby says frantically, quietly. “Happy, you need to stall. We aren’t done copying the drive yet.”

She can’t be in there any longer. But she has to be.

“Let me check.”

“Wait,” Happy says, before she can hold back.

He looks at her. “Wait for what?”

Happy tries to figure out how to save this. “Uh, I need proof,” she says, scrambling. “In writing.”

“Proof of what?” he asks, bewildered.

“That you won’t hurt Addie,” Happy says. “Write it down. Sign it. Tell me that me, my daughter, and my team are safe. I gave you everything you asked for. Now come through with your end of the bargain.”

He sighs. “Fine. Let me just get a pen.”

And that’s when he sees the little window in the corner of the screen.

“What the fuck is this?” he asks dangerously.

Happy frowns. “What is what?” she asks. Her heart is hammering in her chest – they didn’t plan for this.

“The – you’ve.” He turns to her. “You bitch!”

The first thing Happy things of is to kick the gun out of his hand, nailing him in the wrist with the toe of her boot. She pulls her own gun out, but, before she can shoot, something is thrown at her. Happy is hit in the forehead by something hard and metal, and she immediately feels blood start oozing down her forehead. She presses her hand to the spot above her eye, but the touch only makes it hurt more. She reaches up and pulls a staple out of her forehead.

“You threw a stapler at me?” she shouts, watching the guy frantically try and defend the computer. She aims the gun at him. “What kind of bullshit is that?”

“Happy, are you okay? What happened?!” Toby shouts.

“I’m fine,” Happy says without thinking, the pain of the cut blurring her thought process.

“Who are you – you’re on –” That’s when realization hits him. “No.”

He launches toward her and pulls out a knife from his back pocket, pushing Happy’s hand holding the gun out of the way. Happy flings out an arm and blocks her face, but she feels the slice of the knife through her skin. In an instant she drops the gun to her other hand, aims as best she can with blood dripping into her eyes, and fires. The shot echoes into her ears for what feels like decades until she watches him fall.

She wipes the sweat, blood, and, to her own surprise, tears from her face and gets a good look around her. She doesn’t know how she did it. But he’s down.

“Guys?” she says into the coms, her voice weak. “Please say you’re there.”

“Happy, thank god,” comes Toby’s voice. He sounds broken and terrified. “Are you okay?”

“Bleeding,” she replies, her head spinning. She falls to the ground, her legs too shaky to hold her up. “But I’m okay. I’m alive.”

“That is not okay!” Toby exclaims, sounding terrified.

“We’ll be in there as soon as we can be, Happy,” Cabe promises.

It feels like decades, but she looks behind her to see Cabe and Toby bolt in through the back doors. The movement makes her head spin, so she lay down on the floor. “Hey there, Doc,” she says. “Ready to check up the patient?”

“No joking,” he says, pulling off his jacket. Next he pulls off his shirt. “This is serious.”

“Am I dreaming?” Happy says, and she thinks her words are slurring. But she’s not sure – she can’t focus enough to tell. “Because you’re hotter now that you’re a dad.”

“Shh,” Toby says. He’s not joking back. “Shh, love, just hold on.” He rips his shirt into pieces, turning it into a tourniquet around her arm.

“Oh, shit, did I get shot?” Happy asks. “Oh. I think I got shot.”

“No, that’s a knife wound,” Toby replies. “He got you with a knife before you shot him.”

“He’s dead, right?” Happy asks. She’s suddenly scared. “Right?”

Toby nods. He smooths her hair out of her eyes. “How’s that head wound?”

“What?” Happy asks. She reaches up. “Oh. Right. I got hit with a stapler.”

Toby sighs. “Only you could get injured by office supplies and then expertly shoot a guy as he’s knifing you.”

Happy laughs, and it hurts her head. Why would laughing hurt her head? “You accidentally dropped a hole punch on your toe once.”

“Yeah, but I never got shot at around the same time.” Happy doesn’t know why he looks so horrible, so panicked. She’s fine, just a little tired.

“Hey, Toby?” she mumbles. “Toby, I’m – I’m going to nap now. Addie’s asleep, right?” She thinks they need to get a new mattress – theirs is getting hard and uncomfortable. And Toby must have stolen her pillow again. “We need to get a new mattress. This one sucks.”

“No, Happy, stay with me,” Toby says.

“But I’m so – so tired,” Happy replies, her eyes shutting. She hears Toby shouting her name, growing more and more worried. But, as much as she wants to reply, she can’t.

She just wants to sleep.

~

Happy’s unclear of what’s happening, but she wakes up in the hospital some time later to see Addie asleep on her chest. Her injured arm, thankfully not her dominant hand, is resting safely on the white sheets. She’s got a headache, but other than that, she’s okay.

“Hey, Addie Grace,” she murmurs, resting her hand on Addie’s back. Addie wakes up and smiles at her.

“Mama!”

Yeah. Happy’s definitely okay.

Toby wakes slowly, looking exhausted. “Happy?” he asks. The reverence awe in his voice is almost too much for Happy to handle. “You’re alive!”

“Of course I am, dope,” Happy replies, smiling at him. “How long has Addie been here?”

“Only a couple of minutes,” Toby says, interrupting himself with a yawn. “How are you feeling?”

Happy shrugs, then winces. “I’ve been better,” she jokes. She rests a hand on Addie’s back. “How long have I been out?”

“Twelve hours,” Toby replies. “Addie’s been telling you stories. Well, sort of. She just keeps telling you about how much she loves you.”

“Adda love Mama,” Addie says. “Kiss kiss, Mama?”

Happy kisses Addie on the nose, then on the forehead. “Hi, Addie Grace. How are you?”

“Mama mama,” Addie says, snuggling into Happy’s chest. “Love you, Mama.” She immediately falls asleep.

“Oh, for the love – she wouldn’t sleep for more than a few minutes the entire time you were gone, but now that you’re awake, she’s out.” Toby beams at them. “God, I’m glad you’re okay.”

Happy moves over so Toby can climb into bed next to her. “Hi,” Happy says after he kisses her.

“Hi,” he replies, kissing her forehead. “You’re amazing.”

“Oh, not again,” Happy laughs, resting her head on his chest. “Don’t start with the amazing thing again.”

“I can’t help it,” Toby says, stroking Happy’s hair, “you’re just that amazing.”


	47. Addie's First Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy's safe. Addie's safe. And it's also Addie's first birthday.

She’s been in and out of sleep for days now, it feels. Exhaustion hasn’t won over anxiety, but she’s tired enough to fall asleep before Toby gets home from work nearly every night. He says it’s because her body is forcing her to recover, but Happy thinks it’s because, if she stays awake any longer, she’ll explode. She knows she’s safe – Patrick’s in the living room keeping guard, and Addie’s asleep in Happy’s good arm. But it doesn’t stop the feeling that somebody is over her shoulder, watching her every move.

She and Addie are floating in dreamland when Happy opens her eyes to hear quiet conversation.

“Hey, beautiful,” Toby says as he walks in the door. “I’m home.”

Patrick pops his head in next, making a funny face at Addie. She giggles.

“Hey,” Happy says, sitting up. She pulls Addie into her lap. “Any news?”

Toby nods. “Yeah, and it’s good. We’re okay.”

“Like, okay, okay?” Happy asks. Addie starts teething on one of her thumbs. Happy lets her.

Toby nods.

Happy can hardly believe it. “We’re safe?”

Toby nods. “It’s over.”

“Oh, thank god,” Patrick says, relaxing. “I didn’t want to show it, but I was getting really worried.”

“We could tell,” Happy says, managing a smile. “But I appreciate you staying – even worried you were a huge help.”

Patrick nods, yawning. “Actually, if you’re all okay, I’m going to head home.” He walks over to the bed and kisses Happy’s forehead so gently she almost doesn’t feel it. “I haven’t slept much in the last week.”

Happy fails her battle against mirroring Patrick’s yawn. “No problem.” She squeezes his hand. “Thanks, for being here, Dad.”

“Anything for you,” he replies softly. “Any time, anywhere.”

Happy smiles at him. “We love you.” She picks Addie up so she can give Patrick a snuggle.

“Love you guys too,” he says, wrapping his arms around Addie.

Addie presses a big, wet kiss to his cheek. “Bye, Bampy,” she says, waving goodbye as she falls back into Happy’s lap.

Patrick closes the bedroom door gently behind him. At the click, Happy watches the relief bleed with exhaustion as Toby leans against the wall. “Hey.”

“Hey, Toby,” she says, smiling. She’s finally able to relax all the way, falling against the pillows and letting Addie do as she likes. Addie decides to crawl across the bed and grin, big and toothy, at Toby. “I’m glad you’re home.”

Toby smiles at her and begins to walk toward her. “Me, too,” he pulls off his jacket and hangs it on the back of the door. “Why don’t we,” he scoops up Addie in one arm and picks up one of her puzzles from the floor, “all rest now. Addie and me can work on her puzzle while Mommy sleeps, yeah?” he peppers kisses all over Addie’s face, and she giggles with delight.

“Mommy doesn’t need to sleep,” Happy insists. “I can know details.”

“What do you mean, details?” Toby asks. He turns to Happy, and Addie takes the opportunity to dump the animal puzzle upside down.

 “Like, you can tell me what exactly happened in the past week.” She moves to fold her arms across her chest, but stops in her tracks when the twinge of pain floods across her left arm. “I want to know what you found out.”

“I’m not sure,” Toby says warily. “You’re still recovering. I don’t want to keep you awake.”

“I’m fine!” Happy insists. “Come on, I’ve been stuck at home for a week and a half now. Just tell me what you did the past week.”

Addie nods, wiggling next to Happy where she’s putting together her animal puzzle. “Mama pine,” she says.

“Mommy’s fine,” Happy corrects.

“Yeah,” Addie says, trying to force the cow piece into the horse space. “Mama pine.”

Toby sits down on his side of the bed, kicking off his converse. “Well, we were right,” he says, “you convinced him you were defecting. So much so that he actually had you programming data into their main computer, which was connected to the server.” He smiles. “As of today, the whole operation has collapsed. The White House got in contact with the rest of Homeland – they’re on the lookout for anybody left.” He leans in, kissing Addie’s forehead and then Happy’s lips. “It’s all over.”

“Did you get to meet the president?” Happy asks, trying not to smile at him.

Toby pouts. “Way to rub it in, jerk,” he says. Addie looks up at him.

“Derk,” she says firmly, finally putting the cow in the right space.

Happy laughs. “Did you just call Daddy a jerk?”

“Daddy derk!” Addie exclaims. She stands up and wraps her arms around Toby’s arm. “Daddy derk. Love Daddy.”

“I love you too, baby girl,” Toby says, kissing her.

“What?’ Happy says. “No elation? No excitement?”

“Why?”

“Because that’s the first time she told you she loved you,” Happy replies. Toby looks lost. “No?”

Toby shakes his head. “She told me when you – ” he trails off. “After you needed that blood transfusion and they had to do some of that fancy footwork to fix your arm, Addie told me when we were waiting for you to wake up.” He smiles at Addie, who looks like a ray of sunshine as she presses her cheek up against Toby’s hand. “She was the only thing that got me through what happened to you.” Addie seems to sense the moment, curling up in Toby’s lap and letting him snuggle her close.

“Hey, I’m okay,” Happy says, watching something bloom behind Toby’s eyes. “I’m fine.”

“You are now,” Toby says. “But, for a while there, you weren’t. And it scared the life out of me.”

“But all of them are gone now,” Happy says. “And they’re never going to hurt our girl again.” Toby nods. This past week she’d been holed up with Patrick and Addie in their apartment while Toby and the rest of the team finalized the elimination of the corrupt government agents. But Happy never let Addie out of her sight, and whenever she slept it was with Addie next to her. The two days in the hospital were blurred, combined with sleep and pain medication, and the four that she spent recovering and sleeping were only slightly more conscious. But now, on day eight in this situation of stupid bedrest, the anxiety had nearly gotten to her before Toby walked into the room, and Happy had begun to wonder if they were ever going to get the rest of the group that threatened to hurt her daughter.

“They are gone,” Toby confirms. “And beyond what I told you, Cabe, Molina, and Cooper have made the entirety of Homeland aware that they will be prosecuting those who were in cahoots to the fullest extent of the law, and that coming forward would give them a slightly kinder sentence than what Beijing would do.”

“I know you said a lot of good things in that sentence,” Happy says with a grin, “but I can’t believe you just said cahoots.”

“I love the word cahoots,” Toby explains. “It’s a fun word.”

“Cooz, cooz,” Addie says. “Puz done.” She holds up her puzzle, with every animal in its set plae. “Look, Mommy.”

“It looks fantastic, Addie Grace,” Happy says.

Toby nods, climbing into bed so Addie is between him and Happy. He kisses Happy gently, soft and gentle. Addie snuggles into Happy’s arms.

“Hey, I think there’s a special day coming up,” Toby murmurs, pulling Happy close so she can rest her head on his chest. “Baby girl, do you know what day that is?”

Addie mumbles something incoherent.

“Are you sleepy?”

“Not leepy,” Addie mumbles. “No leep.”

“Sleep, Addie,” Happy corrects.

“No sleep,” Addie says. She yawns so big she loses her balance and nearly rolls off the bed. Toby catches her.

“How about,” Toby says, kicking off his sneakers, “we have a big sleepover. How does that sound, baby girl?”

“Birdie tomar,” Addie mumbles. “Got a birdie tomar.”

“What?” Toby asks.

“Birdie,” Addie mumbles. “My birdie. I one.”

“It is your birthday,” Happy says back. She kisses Addie’s forehead. “One year old tomorrow.”

“Yeah, Mama,” Addie mumbles. “I leep. Stop talk.”

Happy laughs, rubbing Addie’s back. “Okay, Addie.” She kisses the top of her head. “You sleep.”

Toby holds them close. Happy thinks he’s asleep, but she’s proven wrong when he says, “Happy?”

“What’s up, Doc?”

“I’m so glad we both made it here.” He rubs her uninjured shoulder.

“Our girl is a whole year old,” Happy mumbles, holding Addie’s hand as she sleeps. “It’s been a crazy year.”

“The best of my life,” Toby murmurs.

Happy laughs quietly, watching the way Addie’s hand curls around her little purple blanket. “Yeah,” Happy whispers. “Mine, too.”

~

Happy wakes up early the next morning. She realizes, after checking her cell phone, she’d slept for fourteen hours.

She’s alone in bed, and sits up. She hasn’t been away from Addie in more than a week. “Toby? Addie?”

She hears the familiar shuffle of baby pants on carpet.

“Mama mama!” Addie exclaims. To Happy’s surprise, she pulls herself up to standing using the sheet on the side of the bed. “Mama?”

“Hi, Addie!” she exclaims. She leans down and scoops up Addie with her good arm, and Addie helps her out by scrambling up the side of the bed with her little feet. “You managed to stand up all by yourself! How cool is that?”

“Coo, coo, Mama,” Addie says. “Daddy be-fist. Mama be-fist.”

“Dad made me breakfast?” Happy asks.

“Pancakes and eggs and more, for my superhero,” Toby says, walking in with a tray of more food than Happy could possibly eat.

“But it’s Addie’s birthday, not mine,” she says as Toby sets down her tray of food. “Why are you making me food?”

“Because,” he leans over and kisses her forehead, “if it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t have our little Addie to celebrate today.”

“To be fair,” Happy says, picking up a piece of bacon, “she wouldn’t have been possible without you, either.”

Toby shrugs and turns to Addie. “So, baby girl, what do you want to do today?” Addie scrambles into his lap, drumming on his chest to some tune in her head.

“Aunnie Pay!” Addie says. “Aunnie Pay and Waf and Unka Silly and Unka Wally and Pop and Bamby. Potty!”

Toby blinks. “You have to potty?”

Addie shakes her head. “No, Daddy, I potty.”

“She wants a party, dummy,” Happy laughs. “Right, Addie Grace?”

Addie nods. She leaps over to hug Happy, but, when she does so, she lands an arm on Happy’s knife wound. Happy jumps and gasps automatically, wincing.

Addie pulls back immediately. “Mama okay?” she asks. Her eyes start to well up. “I hurt Mama?”

“No, no, Addie,” Happy says, shooting a look at Toby. “No, I’m fine. Just a bump.”

Addie’s lower lip wobbles. “I kiss?”

Happy smiles at her. “I think that’ll work,” Happy says. “What do you think, Dr. Curtis?”

“I think,” Toby says, lifting Addie up, “a kiss is the best way to fix a boo boo.”

Addie leans in and kisses Happy’s arm. “Betta, Mama?”

“Much better, Addie,” Happy says.

They eat the rest of breakfast, then give Addie a much-needed bath to get rid of all the syrup she got all over herself instead of in her mouth.

Happy has to stand back because of how excited Addie gets in the water. Toby was fairly specific about it – she needs to be as out of the way of Addie’s flailing limbs as possible, because they don’t want to open up any stitches. It feels wrong that she can’t be as close to Addie as she wants. But it’s only for a little while. Only until she gets better.

“Potty dess!” Addie says, running butt naked from the bathroom into their bedroom once she’s got all the soap rinsed off. “Potty dess!”

“Addie, hold on!” Toby exclaims, chasing after her with a towel. “Slow – or jump into bed soaking wet, that works too.”

She giggles as she scrambles up the side of their bed, crawling around so quickly that it takes a moment or two for Toby to catch up with her.

“I got you, silly girl!” Toby exclaims. Addie giggles with delight as Toby wraps her up in the Winnie the Pooh towel Cabe got her when she was six months old.

“Daddy, Daddy!” she giggles. “Potty dess?”

“Yes, party dress, but you need to dry off first.”

Addie pouts. “No dess?”

“Soon,” Toby says. “Dry off.”

Addie’s version of drying off is rolling around on the blankets and occasionally using the towel, but eventually they manage to get her dry enough to pull on a diaper and throw on her party dress. Paige had bought it for her – bright blue and green with an unbelievable amount of tulle, Addie loves it, but she can barely crawl in it, let alone stand up.

“Mama?” Addie asks, holding her arms up.

“Only because you look so cute in your dress,” Happy says. She’s glad for all the lifting she’s had to do with Addie’s car seat, because otherwise picking Addie up with one arm would be incredibly difficult.

Happy kisses her on the nose while Toby gets their stuff together. “Hey, Addie Grace?”

“Mama?”

“I love you so much,” Happy mutters, kissing Addie on the cheek. “Happy birthday, sweetie.”

Addie leans in and kisses Happy on the cheek. It’s less of a kiss and more of an open mouthed squish. “Love Mama,” Addie sighs. She rests her head on Happy’s shoulder.

They buckle Addie into her car seat and she immediately starts singing Happy Birthday to the tune of “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” which Happy thinks is probably weird. But she’s not going to touch it.

Having a wound in her left arm makes driving more difficulty, but Toby makes sure Addie is appropriately entertained by singing along to whatever ridiculous song Addie decides to sing.

They get to the garage and Addie squeals when Paige is waiting outside for her.

“Aunnie Pay, Aunnie Pay!” she exclaims. “Aunnie Pay! My birdie!”

When Happy puts the car in park, Paige opens the back door. “Hello, Addie girl!” she exclaims. “How are you today?”

“Pay! Aunnie Pay!” She wiggles so emphatically that Paige can’t quite get her out of the seat.

“Hey, slow down, Addie,” Paige says. “I have to get you out of the seat.”

“Safe hands, baby girl,” Toby says. “Safe hands.”

Addie nods and calms down, allowing Paige to get her out of car seat.

“Happy birthday, Addie,” Paige says, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Ready for your party?”

“Potty potty!” Addie exclaims.

Happy watches Paige bring Addie in, and Toby walks around to her side of the car.

“What’s wrong?” he asks gently.

Happy exhales as slowly as she can. “It just hurts.”

When she looks over at him, Toby’s got that puppy dog look on his face. “The cuts?”

Happy shrugs. “Yeah.”

Toby leans in and presses a kiss to her temple. “No one could guess you were in an all-out brawl only a week and a half ago. You’re amazing.”

“Oh, god,” Happy laughs, “not again.”

“See? You’re smiling.” He steps away and gestures outward. “To the birthday party?”

Happy slides out of the car, landing gingerly. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, her head hurts like a bitch. It wasn’t bad enough that she got a stapler thrown at her – she hit her head pretty bad on the cement floor and got a concussion. Sleep is light and hesitant, even more so if Addie’s having a tough night, and she wakes up with the back of her head throbbing most mornings. This was the first morning that her head didn’t hurt.

Toby rests his hand on the small of Happy’s back, and, when they walk in, Addie is on Cabe’s shoulders as she conducts everyone in the garage to sing Rock You Like a Hurricane.

“First song I ever sung to her, and she loves it,” Toby says, looking smug. “And you said it was a bad song for a newborn.”

“It is, and it’s also a bad song for a one year old.” She smiles at him. “But she is cute singing it.”

“Mama Daddy!” Addie exclaims, interrupting the music. “Mama and Daddy!”

“Three word sentence,” Toby says. “That’s an improvement.”

“Mama Daddy cake!” Addie continues. “Cake!”

“Show me where,” Happy says.

Addie points to the table. Happy stares at it. “Who the hell made this monster cake?”

Cabe raises his hand. “If by made you mean bought at the bakery down the street, then me.”

“Cake cake!” Addie says, bouncing up and down. She flails so much that she slips off of Cabe’s shoulders, but he expertly catches her and flies her over to her high chair.

“We have to sing to you first, baby girl,” Toby explains. He clears his throat. “Your first – your first birthday. We’re singing to you on your first birthday.”

“Oh, man, are you crying?” Happy asks. She socks Toby gently in the arm. “You’re crying.”

“It’s my daughter’s first birthday,” Toby shoots back. “Of course I’m crying!”

“Daddy cake,” Addie says pointedly.

“Right,” Toby clears his throat again. “Birthday celebration. Right.” He clears his throat again.

“Want to start singing, or…?”

Addie bounces along and does an impressive drumline as they sing. All of them but Paige crack on the high notes, Sly in particular doing a great job of being both flat and sharp throughout the entire song.

“Cake now?” Addie asks, bouncing. “Wan cake.”

“Patience, birthday girl,” Toby says, kissing the top of her head. “And Auntie Paige has something special for you before we do presents.”

Addie lights up. “Pe-zen?”

“A present, yes, Addie,” Paige says. She pulls a tiara from behind her back. “Surprise!”

“Hat?” Addie asks.

“It’s called a tiara, Addie,” Paige says, settling it on the top of her head, “and you wear it for your birthday.”

“Pitty hat,” Addie says, nodding. “My hat.”

“Yes, your hat,” Paige concedes. “Cake time?”

Addie kicks her legs. “Yay!”

Happy cuts the cake while Toby serves it, Addie face planting into her piece the second Sylvester sets it in front of her. Happy expected Sly to react negatively to the frosting that splattered all over him, but instead he grins at Addie and says, “You got cake on me!”

Addie just giggles and shoves her cake in her mouth gleefully, bouncing in her seat. She looks up at Toby as he hands Paige her slice.

“Yummy, baby girl?” Toby asks, leaning close to her. Addie reaches out and slaps his face with her cake covered hands. “Clearly,” he says.

Happy laughs and throws her head back, the movement jostling the stitches in her forehead. She’s starkly reminded of how much everything hurts.

Paige leans in and kisses Addie on her cake covered cheek. “Well, aren’t you just the prettiest birthday girl ever?”

“Yeah, yeah, Aunnie Pay,” Addie says. “Wan cake?”

“I have my own, Addie girl,” Paige says, holding up the cake.

“Mo cake,” Addie says. And she sticks her hand directly in Paige’s mouth. To her credit, Paige barely reacts.

“Super yummy,” she says when Addie moves her hand. “Do you like this cake?”

Addie nods. “Num, num, num.”

They eat cake and Toby puts on the Lion King soundtrack. Before long, the cake is finished and Addie is making Cabe, Paige, and Toby act out all the parts.

“Don’t you want to sing, Addie?” Paige asks.

Addie shakes her head. “I dum.”

Toby blinks. “No, you’re smart, baby girl. And thoughtful, and kind, and sweet.”

Addie stares at him. “Dum, Daddy.” She pats the floor. “I dum.”

“She’s saying she drums, Doc,” Cabe explains.

“Right,” Toby says. “Hey, new word! That’s exciting.”

During present time, Toby shoots Happy a look of utter disbelief when she helps Addie open up the gift.

“You made the motor car?” Toby whines. “Hap, come on.”

“It’s a pedal car,” Happy corrects. “Chill out. There aren’t any wires or mechanics – it just looks like a fancy car.”

“Still not safe,” Toby says. “But she seems to like it.”

Without even taking all the wrapping paper off, Addie crawls into the front seat.

“I win for best present,” Happy says with a grin.

Once presents are done and Addie has dive bomb snuggled the three giant teddy bears Cabe got her, she falls asleep.

“Nap time came fast,” Happy says. Toby goes to move Addie into her pack and play, but when she snuggles into the teddy bear’s arms they decide to just leave her.

The day is quiet, mostly completion of paperwork and stealing slices of cake in between collaborations, and when Addie wakes up she sits on Toby’s lap while he works on his report on behavioral analysis in the field.

By the time six-thirty rolls around, they’re all too tired to go out to dinner like they’d planned.

“I think we’re just –” Toby interrupts himself with a yawn. “Sorry. I think we’re going to head home, watch some movies. Sleep.”

Happy would agree, but she’s been half napping on her desk for the past two hours.

“Sleep sounds good,” Paige says, yawning. “Ralph? You coming?”

Ralph, who had gotten to the garage only half an hour before because of his Robotics team meeting, looks up with a mouth full of his third slice of cake. He makes a muffled noise through the mound of frosting.

“Yes, I know you’re in the middle of your cake, but unfortunately we’re going to have to take it with us. You have an early morning tomorrow.”

Ralph whines.

“Yeah, I know. So ask Addie if you can have a slice of her cake to bring home, and then let’s go.”

Ralph walks over to Addie, who is cuddling the biggest teddy bear and singing softly to it.

He sits down next to her. “Hi, Addie,” he says. “Sorry I missed part of your birthday.”

Without a word, Addie rolls over and flops into his lap. “My Waf,” she says, hugging him close. “Waffy-Waf.”

“I think you’re forgiven,” Toby says with a smile.

Addie helps Ralph put a rather massive slice of cake into a container, and she falls asleep in her car seat before they even make it out of the garage’s driveway.

“Oh, she’s never going to sleep at home now,” Toby groans. “It’s not even seven and she’s out cold.”

“Well,” Happy says, “tomorrow is Saturday. If we need to stay up late, we stay up late.”

Toby turns to Happy with that knowing gaze. “You’re getting nightmares again, aren’t you?”

Happy starts. “What?”

“Your nightmares,” Toby says gently. “After I got shot, you’d wake up yelling Addie’s name – well, you sort of wake up. You sit up and yell, and then you cry in your sleep for a few minutes until you calm down. You started doing it again after we got home from the hospital.” He frowns. “You don’t remember any of that, do you?”

Happy shakes her head slowly. “I don’t,” she replies. “I – I really do that?”

Toby nods. He reaches out and rests a hand on top of hers. “Yeah.”

Happy sighs. “Toby, I never want to feel that way again.” She tries to steady her voice. “All I can remember is that guy’s voice saying Addie’s name and threatening her.” She starts to shake a little bit, but it calms when Toby squeezes her hand. “I don’t want to ever let that happen again.”

“Even if it does happen again,” Toby says softly, “we’ll do what we did this time. We’ll protect her. She’s always going to be safe with us around.”

The two of them turn around to look at Addie in her little mirror. She’s asleep with a smile on her lips.

“We sure made a cute baby, didn’t we?” Toby laughs.

Happy nods. “You got that right.”

~

Two viewings of The Little Mermaid later, Addie is close enough to being back to sleep that Toby takes her into the nursery.

Happy makes herself stay awake, just until Toby comes back.

“She asleep?” Happy asks, shifting slowly enough that it doesn’t hurt.

“Out like a light.” Toby sits next to her, silently studying her injuries for a moment. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Happy replies. “Why?”

Toby reaches out and runs his fingertips along her hairline, barely grazing the wound from the stapler. “Because it was so possible that you were never going to okay again.”

For the first time since they first heard the threat on Addie’s life, Toby cracks. The careful, concentrated control that he’s shown throughout all of this fades.

Happy doesn’t know how to react. “Toby?”

“I can’t lose you,” Toby sobs. He collapses into Happy’s arms and, startled, she rests her hand on his head.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Happy assures him, running her fingers through his hair. She’s never heard his sobs so broken before, never heard him so vulnerable. “Toby, calm down. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“I can’t – you were bleeding out on me, Happy,” he sobs. “Your blood was all over me. I just – all I could think was how hard it would be to explain to Addie where you went, why you never came home.”

Happy hauls him up so she can look at him. “Don’t you dare,” she says, holding his face in her hands, “worry about that. I came back. I’m always coming back.” They lock eyes, and Happy tries to tell him without words how much she cares about him. And then, she realizes, she has to use words. This is about Toby – she need to tell him in his way, not in hers. “You and Addie? You’re everything to me. I’m not going anywhere. I will always,” she presses her forehead against his, ignoring the twinge in her injury, “always come home to you.”

Toby tilts his head to kiss Happy, and she pours everything she can into the motion, looping her good hand around the back of Toby’s neck.

“I love you,” Toby gasps against her lips. She feels his tears against her cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Toby,” Happy whispers back.

They lose their clothing quickly, settling into each other like they depend on it. Toby kisses gently at Happy’s shoulder like he’s afraid he’ll hurt her, and Happy tells him she loves him over and over again, because she wants to make sure he knows how determined she was to come back to him.

“I will never,” Happy promises, “go anywhere. I’m yours – forever.”

And, she thinks, he might believe her.


	48. Addie, 13 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parenting is rewarding, yes. But for every beautiful moment, there's a miserable moment.

Addie bolts away from Happy the second Happy turns to turn on the faucet, crawling like her life depends on it. “Adalyn Grace, come back here!” Happy says, putting down the towel and running after her.

Happy nearly slams into Toby, who’s picked Addie up. “Oh, you got Full Named, baby girl, what did you do?”

“Your daughter keeps crawling off on me,” Happy grumbles. “She won’t take a bath.”

Addie giggles. “No bat, Mommy!”

“Bath,” Toby says, booping Addie’s nose.

“No bat-uh,” Addie says. “I no bat-uh.”

“Close enough,” Happy sighs. “But you are taking a bath. Come on.”

“No!” Addie exclaims, pushing away. “No bat! I pay.” She wiggles in Toby’s arms, fighting his grip.

“Addie, calm down,” Toby says. “Jeez, imagine how rough it’s going to be when she starts walking.”

“Oh, god,” Happy groans. “I don’t even want to think about that.”

“No walk,” Addie says. “No bat. I pay.”

“Addie, listen to Mommy,” Toby says firmly. “You’re covered in Ooblek.”

“I pay!” she argues. The she flails so hard she twists out of Toby’s arms and falls onto the floor.

Happy goes to react, but Toby slaps his hand over her mouth. He shakes his head as he looks down at Addie, who is looking up at them. Happy realizes she’s trying to judge their reactions, but she’s just worried her kid broke a bone.

“Daddy, I fall,” Addie says, pouting.

“Yes, you did,” Toby agrees.

Addie’s pout turns annoyed again. “No bat.”

“Would you like to take a bath with Mommy or with Daddy?” Toby offers. He seems completely unfazed by her fall. Happy, on the other hand, still wants to check Addie for bruises.

“No bat,” Addie counters.

“Not a choice,” Toby says. “Would you like bubbles or bath crayons?”

“Stop giving her choices,” Happy mutters into his ear. “She’s just going to keep saying no.”

“Wrong,” Toby replies. “Believe me. I’m the behaviorist here.”

Happy sighs. “Fine.” She folds her arms and watches Toby and Addie go back and forth until Addie chooses to take a bath with bubbles, The Little Mermaid soundtrack, and an ice cream cookie sandwich after lunch.

“See?” Toby says as Addie links her arms around Toby’s leg. “Negotiation. It worked.”

“She conned the two of us into getting ice cream without even knowing if she’s going to eat her lunch,” Happy replies. “Also, she’s locked around your leg like a vice. Good luck getting her unstuck.”

Happy goes into the kitchen, because she’s ridiculously hungry and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t make herself a sandwich before giving their little demon child a bath.

And that’s when she hears a shriek.

Happy sighs. “What now?” she mumbles.

She walks into the bathroom to see Toby, flat on his back, with a very naked Addie splashing in the tub. The entire bathroom is soaked.

“So,” Happy says, leaning against the door and folding her arms, “what happened here?”

Addie just giggles and flops into the bubbles, sloshing bubbles all over the side of the tub. Happy’s just glad they live on the first floor.

“Addie, honey, did you see what just happened?” Happy asks, assuming it was a mistake. “The water pours over the side if you do that.”

“She knows what happened!” Toby says, pushing himself to sitting. “Somebody,” he looks pointedly down at Addie, “thought it was a good idea to play tidal wave.”

“Did Dad not guess from the name that it was not something you wanted to play in the bath?” Happy asks.

Toby sighs, wringing his shirt out in the tub while Addie splashes around. “I think I may have underestimated Addie’s ability to snow me.”

“Damn right you did,” Happy laughs.

“Mama damn?” Addie asks innocently.

Happy looks over at Toby. “Um.”

Toby gives her a look that very pointedly says, “you made the mess, you fix it.”

“It’s a not-good word that only grown ups can say,” Happy decides on.

“I grown up,” Addie says, sitting up straight in the tub. “Damn.”

Toby shoots Happy another deliberate look. “No saying that word Addie girl.”

“Okay, Mommy,” Addie says, but there’s a glint in her eye that makes Happy wonder just how long that agreement will last.

Between Happy and Toby’s efforts, they get the bathroom and Addie cleaned up with enough time for Happy to shower all the Ooblek out of her hair. Toby dresses Addie in a bright blue onesie, one of the multi-colored tutus Paige had gotten Addie for her birthday, and a headband with neon purple stripes.

“So,” Happy says, midway through drying her hair, “again, what happened here?”

“Addie wanted to match,” Toby explains, like it makes perfect sense. “So she’s matching.”

“We’re going grocery shopping,” Happy says as Addie pulls herself to standing on Happy’s towel. Both the towel and Addie fall the to the floor.

“Tee-hee,” Addie giggles. “Mama nakie.”

“That she is,” Toby says.

Happy picks up the towel and thawps Toby with it. “Don’t be weird.” Addie flips onto her back and wiggles, then hands Happy her tutu.

“Mama, mama,” Addie says, holding up the tutu.

Happy sighs. “Thanks, Addie.” She’s not quite sure what to do with the tutu, so she wraps the towel around herself again, gives the tutu to Addie, and gets dressed in her bedroom. Toby and Addie follow behind her, babbling on about something she can’t quite decipher.

“Can I get three minutes of privacy to get dressed?” Happy asks. “Your kid already pulled off my towel.”

“What do you say, baby girl?” Toby asks, scooping Addie up. “Why don’t we give Mommy a few minutes to herself?” Something changes in Toby’s expression. “Or.” He turns to Happy. “Or, Mommy can have some alone time while we have an Addie Daddy day.”

“Addie Daddy day?” Addie asks.

Happy doesn’t want to look too excited, because she really does love Toby and Addie, but, god, does she miss alone time.

“Do you want to, Addie?” Happy asks. She hopes Addie says yes. It wouldn’t suck to have an hour or two to do nothing.

Addie nods. “Sop!” Addie announces. “I sop, Daddy.”

“Then we will go shopping,” Toby decides. “We’ll text you when we’re on our way home, okay?”

“Lunch first,” Happy clarifies. “And then you can head out.”

Toby makes them all grilled cheese with tomatoes and Happy will admit that she ate far too quickly to ensure the other two leave as soon as they can. Addie has a few bites of sandwich but mostly eats the tomato, and announces, “Done!” within about a minute.

“Then off we go,” says Toby. “We’ll see you soon, Hap.”

Happy nods, leaning in and kissing Toby’s cheek, then Addie’s. “Have a blast, you two. I’ll see you later on.”

And then, ten minutes later, their apartment is silent, and Happy collapses onto their bed, closes her eyes, and wakes up an hour later to a still silent apartment, feeling well rested for the first time in she doesn’t know when.

She throws her legs up and puts on an episode of American Chopper that she’d missed ever since Addie was born. She deliberately and with relish skips past the thirty episodes of Octonauts and Yo Gabba Gabba that Toby recorded for Addie.

At the first commercial break, Happy makes herself a bowl of ice cream from the emergency stash of cookie dough they keep in the freezer.

Two hours and another episode and a half later, she gets a text from Toby. “Have you had enough alone time?”

“Yeah,” Happy texts back. “Miss you guys. Come home when you can.”

Toby sends back a ridiculous combination of emojis and letters. It makes no sense, so Happy ignores it until she gets another text that says, “Addie grabbed my phone – sorry! Be home in the hour.”

Happy falls asleep on the couch again until the door creaks open and she hears Addie holler, “Mama!”

She opens her eyes and grins. “Hey, guys. Welcome home.”

And the house feels a little better with them in it, even with how nice it was to have some alone time.

~

“You get her,” Happy groans, her face in a pillow.

“You had the whole afternoon alone!” Toby argues. “Why do I have to get her?”

“Because I’m sleeping!” Happy snaps back.

“She might be hungry,” Toby replies. “Midnight Mama snack.”

Happy reaches out and smacks Toby, and from the high pitched shriek she’s pretty sure her aim was off.

“Jeez, Happy, are you trying to make sure we don’t have any more kids?” He whimpers again. “I’m going to be walking funny tomorrow.”

“Whiner,” Happy says back. But, as an apology, she gets up to grab Addie.

Addie babbles when she sees Happy, still asleep, something completely indecipherable. Her cries sound hungry, so Happy feeds her in the rocking chair. But she keeps crying even after she’s finished, clinging to Happy like her life depends on it.

“Okay,” Happy mumbles, making her way to her bedroom. Addie is crying in her arms, her face buried in Happy’s shoulder, and Happy doesn’t even know what to do. “Shh, Addie,” she says, bouncing as she lay down in bed. “It’s okay.”

The second Happy reclines, Addie relaxes, but doesn’t loosen her grip on Happy’s shirt. There are still some small whimpers, but Addie’s definitely back to sleep, and Happy might get some sleep of her own.

“She okay?” Toby mumbles.

Happy turns to him. “You were awake?”

“Of course I was,” Toby replies. “Got to keep an eye on my girls.”

Happy laughs. “Appreciated.”

Except he’s not the one who wakes up every time Addie twitches in her sleep. Happy gets about an hour or two consecutive of sleep before she’s woken up by the baby again. It’s awful.

Addie, though, seems incredibly well rested and cheery for a Monday morning. Toby seems okay, but Happy’s exhausted.

“Can you –” She yawns. “Addie’s breakfast? I gotta shower.”

“You showered yesterday at, like, one,” Toby responds, sitting up. He picks Addie up, who is singing softly to herself, a tune Happy doesn’t recognize.

“That was before your child spend eight hours last night sweating on me,” Happy deadpans.

“Daddy will make breakfast for both of his girls,” Toby says, kissing Addie’s forehead.

Happy damn near falls asleep in the shower, but shakes herself awake with a hit of freezing cold water on her face.

“Okay,” she says, shaking her head, “I’m awake.”

They get to work on time, Addie being surprisingly complacent when going into her car seat, and the entire team seems surprised they aren’t half an hour late. Mercifully, none of them say anything.

“Aunnie Pay!” Addie exclaims. She wiggles herself until Happy unhooks her from the car seat, and then Addie bolts over to Paige, who scoops her up into the air.

“She still not walking yet?” Cabe asks, walking into the room with his usual cup of coffee in his hand.

Happy turns to him, suddenly annoyed. “She doesn’t have to be walking yet!” she snaps.

Cabe raises an eyebrow. “What was that, Happy?”

Happy sits down at her desk again, blowing a rogue lock of hair out of her eyes. “She doesn’t exactly want to walk,” Happy clarifies. “Like, at all. She’d rather crawl everywhere.” She gestures to the way Addie scrambles across the floor with unbelievable speed over to Toby, then back to Paige. “But she didn’t sleep last night, so I guess I’m a little,” she rubs the back of her neck. “I guess I’m a little off today.”

Cabe claps her on the shoulder like he understands. “I understand that, kid. Amanda,” his eyes go misty, “she didn’t want to sleep much as a baby. Wanted to do a lot more in her night time. She used to stay up like she knew when we’d fall asleep, and then wail until somebody came to talk to her.” He shakes his head. “Toddlers are strange.”

Happy forgets sometimes that Cabe was a dad, once upon a time. He has his fatherly moments with the team, behaves like he’s their dad more than some of them would like. But he really did have a baby girl long ago, one who he lost and rarely talks about.

Amanda, Happy realizes, is just like Megan. She’s just like Happy’s mom.

“You got that right,” Happy sighs, watching as Addie sits on Sly’s lap. He seems to be showing her how to add, and Addie seems incredibly excited.

“Mama, look!” she exclaims. “I cow!”

“Count,” Sylvester corrects. “You’re counting and adding.”

“Yeah, I cow,” Addie says. When she rolls her eyes, Happy can’t help but laugh.

“Just wait until she starts the exponential intellectual improvement that we can all expect from her,” Walter says, walking over. “She’s clearly advanced. She’s adding and subtracting before she’s fourteen months.”

“Please stop talking about my daughter like she’s a science experiment,” Happy sighs, but she feels kind of good, watching the team take care of her girl. When she’s tired, when she feels like she needs a break, she can trust them to take care of Addie.

Happy reminds herself for the millionth time since joining Scorpion: she has a team of people who have her back.

And it feels pretty good.

~

It’s a shame that team can’t follow her home and take care of Addie for her while she and Toby get thirty minutes to themselves.

“Addie, stop!” Happy groans. She’d looked away for eight seconds while she was trying to fix a couple cords behind the television, and Addie scrambled off. She turns around, looking down at the floor. “Addie?” she asks, searching the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom. “Where are you, sweetie?”

She hears a giggle. She knows that giggle. That’s not a good giggle.

“Addie?”

Happy looks up on the window sill to see Addie standing there, bouncing on her little legs. “Hi, Mama,” she says. She sounds far too proud of herself for a kid who just turned one the month before.

“Addie, what are you doing up there?” Happy asks, walking over and picking her up. “How did you get there?”

Addie points to the radiator.

“Okay, but how did you get on top of the radiator?”

“Tair.”

Happy blinks. “Tair?”

Addie nods. “Tair, Mama. I on tair.”

“You’re on – you stood on the chair?” Happy asks. “That’s – that’s a rocking chair, Addie. That’s not safe.”

Addie wiggles out of Happy’s arms to sit on the chair. “I walk on tair.”

“Yes, but it’s not safe.”

Addie pouts. “I walk.”

“Wait a second,” Happy picks Addie up again and sets her on the ground. “You were walking on the chair?”

“I walk on tair.”

“Show me,” Happy says. Addie tries to climb back up on the chair. “No, Addie, on the floor.”

“No foor,” Addie replies, pulling herself up on the chair with her arms. It’s not graceful, and it’s not quick, but she makes it up there. Then Addie pulls herself to standing. “I tair.”

Happy realizes that, when she stands on one specific part of the chair, the rocking chair hooks underneath part of the changing table and stabilizes.

She’s not sure if Addie did it on purpose. She’s not sure if she wants to know if Addie did it on purpose – that would be a little disturbing for how young she is.

“Great job, Addie,” Happy says, still having trouble believing what’s happening. “Show me how you walk?”

“I walk,” Addie repeats. She holds onto the side of the chair and stomps, doing a silly little dance. “See, Mama?”

“Can you show me on the floor?” Happy asks.

Addie shakes her head. “No, Mama,” Addie says. “I on tair.”

Happy sighs and picks Addie up, setting her on the floor. She sits and stares at Happy.

“Go try and walk, Addie,” Happy encourages her. “Give it a try.”

“No, Mama,” Addie says, shaking her head.

Just then Toby calls in from the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready, girls!”

Addie lights up, stands up, and then walks into the kitchen. She’s not steady, she’s not graceful, but she does it. Happy whips out her phone and records it, unable to contain her excitement.

She follows behind Addie, waiting for Toby to notice.

“Hey, baby girl, how are you – you’re walking!”

Happy gets the entire reaction on film, Toby’s shriek of delight, the way he swoops Addie up in his arms and peppers kisses all over her face. It’s worth every minute of stress of the past few days.

“Our girl is walking!” Toby says. She watches his eyes get misty.

“Daddy cwy,” Addie says, patting Toby’s cheek.

Toby laughs, pressing a kiss to Addie’s cheek. “Only because I’m so proud of you, baby.” He looks over at Happy. “You ever think we could have gotten this lucky with our kid?”

Happy shrugs. “Nope. But I’m glad we are.”


	49. Addie, 14 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The terrible twos came early, and the whole team needs a bit of a break.

Happy’s heard of the terrible twos. She’s heard a lot about it, actually. It’s what everybody whines about on TV and in baby books.

Nobody warned her that her fourteen month old daughter would start the terrible twos early.

“Addie, baby, stop crying,” Happy groans, sitting on the floor next to her. Addie’s rapidly punching the floor with her tiny fists.

“I don’t wanna!” Addie shrieks. “I want Daddy!”           

“You literally dumped your cereal on me twenty minutes ago,” Toby says from his desk. He sets down his book. “I am fairly certain you don’t want anything to do with me right now.”

“Daddy!” Addie wails.

Happy looks up at him, an eyebrow raised, and Toby comes over and sits next to Addie.

“I’m here, baby girl.”

“No!” Addie screams.

Happy sighs. “Okay, we’re going for a walk.”

“Aunnie Pay!” Addie wails.

Happy and Toby, in tandem, look over at Paige. She sighs.

“Alright,” Paige says, walking over and picking Addie up. She calms immediately, clinging to Paige like she’s offered Addie a trip to Disney World alongside a million dollars. “Let’s grab your stroller and go for a little walk, Addie girl.”

“Aunnie Pay,” Addie sighs, and, for the first time since she she’d woken up that morning at five am, she smiles.

“Oh, she’ll smile for Auntie Paige,” Toby grumbles in Happy’s ear.

“Shut up,” Happy mutters. “If she chills out, she might take a nap. And if she takes a nap, that means we get about forty-five minutes of silence.”

Toby looks at her. “Thank god.”

Addie’s asleep by the time she and Paige get halfway to the door, snoring more loudly than Happy’s ever heard her.

“If you guys don’t mind, I’m still going to take her for a walk,” Paige says. “I need a few minutes to just,” she sighs, “chill out after all that screaming.”

“I know how you feel,” Toby says, nodding as Paige and Addie roll out. He then flops down in his desk chair. “Why is our daughter suddenly a little demon?”

“Because she’s your daughter,” Happy replies, raising her eyebrow with a pointed look.

“Hey, I’ve never screamed like that,” he says. “I’m a very calm and collected guy.”

“Last night you had a fit because the person on Chopped used a basket ingredient as a garnish.”

“It was a potato!” Toby exclaims, hands going in the air. “Potatoes are never a garnish.”

“Why is Paige outside with your daughter and why is Toby yelling about potatoes?” Walter asks, walking in. “I spend twenty minutes outside checking on our solar panels and I come back to this kind of nonsense. This does not seem like a normal day.”

“It isn’t,” Happy sighs, sitting down at her work bench. “Addie’s losing her damn mind and I’m exhausted. She isn’t sleeping.”

“To be fair, neither are we,” Toby says.

“That’s not fair,” Happy retorts. “That’s terrible truth.”

“Touché,” Toby replies.

Happy looks over at Walter, who is staring at them in mild disbelief. “Do you ever regret having a child?” he blurts out.

Toby’s jaw drops, and Happy stands. “If you ever,” Happy says dangerously, “suggest something like that in front of my kid, you’re dead.”

“Translation: that’s not the kind of question you ask, 197,” Toby says. His eyes flicker over to Happy, and she can tell it’s because he’s worried that she’s going to beat Walter’s face into the cement floor.

“I see,” he says. “I only ask because I am considering a future in which Paige and I have children, and I worry at times that people of our intellect may regret the decision as the child gets older and develops a personality.”

“You?” Toby asks. “You? Seriously thinking about kids.” He shakes his head. “Happy, pinch me. I’m dreaming.”

“I’m not pinching you,” Happy says, falling back into her seat. “And, no. I wouldn’t change the way things are for the world. Addie’s the best part of my day.”

“Hey!” Toby exclaims.

“Don’t be an ass, she beats out everyone,” Happy says with an eye roll.

“Fair enough,” Toby concedes. “Hey, while Addie’s off not being annoying, should we try working on that Smart Drone design that Elia asked us to come up with?”

“We?” Happy scoffs. “Toby, you’re not doing anything with it. It’s tech and engineering.”

“I provide moral support!” Toby replies. “Come on, let’s go, team!”

Paige rolls in an hour later, Addie still sleeping in her stroller, with a grin on her face and a tray of coffees in her hand.

“You made it all the way to Kovelsky’s with a stroller?” Happy asks, taking her coffee and handing Toby’s to him. “That’s impressive.”

“Getting my steps in,” Paige replies, holding up her fit bit. “Plus, Walter modified it so it responds even when I’m pushing the stroller.”

“You stole that idea from me, and I’m offended,” Happy says, pointing to Walter. “But I don’t care, because your girlfriend is giving me coffee and if I hit you, she’ll hit me.”

“I will,” Paige says with a cheery grin.

Addie starts to stir in her stroller.

“Oh no,” Toby says. “No, no, no, baby, go back to sleep.”

Addie opens her big hazel eyes. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hi, baby,” Toby says. He unbuckles her from her stroller and picks her up with the hand not holding the coffee. “Have a good nap?”

“I not nap,” Addie argues. “I pretend.”

“You pretended to nap,” Toby repeats.

Addie nods. “Yeah, Daddy.” She collapses against Toby’s shoulder and the jolt makes him spill his coffee all over his arm. “Oh, sweet mother!” he exclaims. The coffee slips out of his hand as he shakes it off, spilling it all over Happy’s shoes.

“That’s glorious,” Happy grumbles, stepping away from the mess. “Can we not have this kind of stuff happen at work today again? Seriously?”

“Mommy, I want moo-sic,” Addie decides, playing with Toby’s hat. She takes it and puts it on her head, covering her eyes. “Want moo-sic now.”

“That is not how we ask,” Toby says firmly. “How do we ask for something?”

“Moo-sic now!” Addie demands.

Happy sighs. “Nope.”

“Moo-sic?” Addie says again.

Happy, Toby, and Paige all shake their heads.

“Pease moo-sic?”

“There you go,” Toby says. “What kind?”

“Mirnana,” Addie says definitively.

“You let your child listen to Nirvana?” Paige says, eyebrows shooting up into her hair line. “Are you kidding me?”

“She likes it!” Happy argues. “And nobody should be deprived of Kurt Cobain’s lyrics.”

“Yes, they should,” Paige says. “When they’re fourteen months old.”

“I mean, not really,” Toby says. “We’re pretty good at filtering the bad lyrics.”

“As long as you don’t listen to that really not-okay one,” Paige says firmly.

“That was the first one that was a no,” Toby says.

“Mama, moo-sic!” Addie says. She starts to fuss and wiggle in Toby’s arms.

“Careful, baby girl,” Toby says, shifting Addie in his arms. “I don’t want you falling on the cement.”

He sets Addie down in her pack and play with her little boom box.

“No, Daddy, with you,” Addie says. “Wanna sing with you.”

Toby sighs. “Okay.”

Toby goes from playing with Addie to working with her resting on his lap to singing along with her, while Happy does her best not to feel a little jealous that Addie wants to spend time with Toby instead of with her.

That jealousy stops the second Addie starts using Toby as an alternate drumset and spring board.

“Okay,” says Paige, dropping her book as Addie sings her Lion King/Nirvana mashup at the top of her lungs. “We need a day off.”

“You’re telling me,” Toby says, his legs kicked up on his desk. Addie is sitting on his stomach, drumming out random patterns on his shirt.

“Daddy sing,” Addie commands.

Toby rolls his eyes. “See what I put up with?”

“You heard the girl,” says Cabe, clearly enjoying Toby getting bossed around, “sing.”

Toby starts singing Fall Out Boy, and Addie bangs out the beginning drums to I Don’t Care.

“How does she know how to do that?” Paige asks. “This is ridiculous. She can pick up drumlines from any song, but she can’t chill out.”

“Aunnie sing,” Addie adds.

“No, honey,” Happy says, “Auntie Paige is –”

“Aunnie Pay!” Addie says.

“Addie, Paige is talking right now, and Dad’s singing with you,” Happy says calmly. She doesn’t want another meltdown. She can’t handle another meltdown.

Addie bursts into tears. “No Daddy!” she exclaims. “Aunnie Pay!”

“Okay, you’re right,” says Happy, picking Addie up so her temper tantrum doesn’t beat Toby up too badly. “We need a break.”

Paige goes to speak, but then Addie just starts screaming at the top of her lungs.

“Got her pacifier?” Happy asks Toby.

“We should really be –”

“I know we should be weaning her off it,” Happy replies, “but we need her to quiet down.”

Addie dramatically shoves her face into Happy’s shoulders, wailing pathetically. To Happy’s chagrin, her little fists pound at her shoulder. Happy’s fairly certain she’s feeling a bruise come along there.

Toby searches his desk and finally pulls out her pacifier, tossing it to Happy. She hands it to Addie, trying to find her mouth as she wails.

“Come on, baby, you need to calm down.”

Addie responds with a scream so loud that everyone in the room winces.

“Parenting is a joyous and incomparably wonderful component of life,” Toby says.

“At least that scream wasn’t directly in your ear,” Happy says. She shifts Addie to get a look at her face, screwed up and bright red. “Addie, baby, if you keep screaming you’re going to –”

Addie hiccups and vomits all over Happy’s shoulder.

“Parenting is a joyous and incomparably wonderful component of life,” Toby repeats, standing and taking Addie. “Come on, baby girl, give your mommy a break.”

Addie screams, “Mommy!” at the top of her lungs.

“You’re fine,” Happy says, and she can’t be damned about professionalism when she’s dripping in baby puke. “Go with Dad while I,” she winces. “Clean up.”

Paige shuffles her into the bathroom and Happy pulls off the shirt.

“Thanks,” she says, grabbing a towel from Paige.

“Been there, done that,” she says with a comforting smile. “Ralph used to, well, ralph all over me the second he started crying hysterically. Let’s hope this is the last time Addie temper tantrum pukes on you.”

Happy nods, wiping herself down. “So, that day off,” she says, wincing as she rinses part of her hair, “what were you thinking?”

“Night out,” Paige suggests. “Maybe drinks at a bar?”

“Yeah, and what should we do with Addie and Ralph? Stick them with Cabe?”

Paige scoffs. “Yeah. Not sure how that’d go over. I was thinking maybe Patrick would like some kid time.”

“Whatever works,” Happy agrees. “because I’m not sure I can handle getting puked on multiple times in one day.”

Paige smiles. “Just wait until a stomach bug goes around her school and Addie, Toby, and you are all taking turns throwing up. That’s always fun.”

Happy frowns. “You know, nobody tells you about these parts of parenting.”

“Well, it’s worth it for the good parts,” she says.

Eventually, Happy’s cleaned up enough to walk outside to the garage.

Addie’s passed out cold on Toby’s chest while he reads, gently stroking her back.

“How long has she been asleep?” Happy asks, kneeling next to the couch.

“Basically since you left,” Toby says. “She screamed for you for thirty seconds and then, boom, she was asleep.”

“Paige is thinking we need a night off,” Happy explains, resting her hand on Addie’s back. “I’ve got to say, I agree.”

“Tonight?” Toby asks. “Because I think I’m too exhausted.”

Happy takes Addie, who grips at her shoulders in her sleep, settling her head against her neck. “Tomorrow night, I think,” Happy says quietly as Toby sits up.

He nods. “Good deal.”

When they get home, Happy manages a real shower before completely collapsing in bed. Toby’s half asleep with Addie resting in his arms, singing Bohemian Rhapsody quietly to her as she sleeps.

“I’ll put her to bed,” Toby mumbles.

Happy’s asleep before he returns.

~

“We’ll be fine, Mom,” Ralph says pointedly. “I’m fourteen years old. I think me and Patrick can handle a baby.”

Paige sighs. “I’m more worried about her manipulating you two. She’s good at that.”

“She’s an infant,” Patrick corrects, kissing Addie on her forehead. She giggles and buries her face in Happy’s shoulder. “She speaks three word sentences.”

“Yeah, but she’s got these two as parents,” Sylvester comments. “And they make you do stuff with, like. A look.”

“That’s only Happy,” Toby says.

“No,” says Paige, “no, you do the shrink face.”

Everyone nods.

“What’s the shrink face?” Toby asks.

“When you look at people and just,” Sylvester makes this expression of pensive annoyance.

Happy look at Toby, trying desperately not to laugh. “He’s not wrong.”

Addie giggles. “Daddy,” she says cheerfully.

“Good to see somebody still loves me,” Toby says, tickling Addie’s tummy before kissing her forehead. “Don’t you, baby girl?”

Addie leans in and bites his cheek.

“Ow!” Toby exclaims. “No biting! Addie, let go!”

Addie giggles. “No bite,” she says with a grin.

“Are we sure we’re not raising a sociopath?” Happy asks, eyeing Addie. “This can’t be normal.”

“It is,” Toby assures her, smoothing a hand over Addie’s head. She rests against his hand. “I had a friend who used to greet everybody she knew with a bite on the cheek until she was twenty months old. Left a scar on one kid.”

Happy looks at Addie. “No lawsuits, kid,” she insists. “If you bite anybody with rich parents, we’re in trouble.”

She kisses Addie’s forehead, and hands her to Patrick, who tosses her up in the air.

“Bampy!” she announces. “Love Bampy,” she says, clinging to his shoulders.

“See you later, baby girl,” Toby says, wiggling her foot. “Mommy and I are going to go dance the night away.”

Happy scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

Everybody looks at her. “What?”

“We’re going to a dance bar,” Paige explains. “How did you miss that?”

Happy sighs. “Clearly I block you people out more than I realized.” She turns to Addie. “You be good for Grandpa, Addie Grace.”

Addie nods. “You go now.”

Paige nods. “Yep,” she says, “just like her mama.”

~

“This place is loud,” Happy says to Toby, and she can barely hear her own voice. “We should have just gone out to dinner instead of doing dinner and whatever this is. Why was this our idea of a good time?”

“Wasn’t,” Toby replies. “It was Paige’s.”

Happy shrugs. She’s tempted to leave, sneak out of here to grab Toby and maybe sneak in a quicky in the van, but Paige grabs Happy’s hand and starts dragging her toward the bar.

“What are you doing?” Happy asks, stumbling. The heels Paige insisted on have zero stability, and Happy’s tempted to take them off.

“Drinks,” Paige shouts back. “We’ll get them for everybody. Girls get drinks faster here.”

“That’s stupid,” Happy replies, half stumbling into the guy in front of her. “Sorry, dude.”

“No problem,” he says. He looks her up and down in a way that makes Happy want to haul off and slug him.

“Ew,” Happy mumbles, pushing past him. “Paige, how the hell are we going to be able to hold six drinks?”

“You were a bartender,” Paige says. “Improvise.”

Happy’s move is to balance the three beers in her hands and hopes to god that she doesn’t spill.

“Drink up,” she shouts at Toby. He grabs the glass out of her hands, the one starting to slip. “We’re going to need to be drunk to get through this night.”

“Exaggeration,” Toby shouts back. “But, yeah. We’re gonna need to be drunk.” He grins at her. “Tequila shots?”

“I mean, probably.” Happy grins at him. “And you know how much I like tequila.”

They finish their beers in record time, then Happy gets through the crowd and grabs two tequila shots, limes, and salt for herself and Toby.

She laughs at the grin on his face when she walks toward him.

“Real tequila shots,” he sighs. “Have I told you you’re the perfect woman?”

“Multiple times,” Happy says, handing him his shot and lime. “Bottoms up.”

Like always, they slam the shots down on the table at the exact same time.

“I beat you this time,” Toby insists. “Totally.”

“Did not,” Happy replies. She feels the alcohol start to swim in her head, lowering some of the anxiety she has in places like this. “You know me.” She licks her lips. “I always beat you.”

“Is that innuendo?” Toby asks. “Because, if it is, it’s terrible. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, but,” he winces, “let’s not try dirty talk.”

“I’m not – that isn’t.” She sighs. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll blame the tequila.”

“Then I will too.” And then Toby starts walking toward the dance floor.

“Wait, no way,” Happy says, stepping backward. “I’m not drunk enough for this yet.”

“To dance?” Toby asks.

Happy shakes her head. “To embarrass myself. I’m not dancing with you.”

“You’ve danced with me before!” Toby argues, pulling at her hand. “A lot!”

“Yeah, in private,” Happy laughs.

“What, afraid to show these people we’re together?” He starts moving toward the dance floor.

“No,” Happy replies, “I’m afraid to show them your terrible dance moves.”

“My dance moves are wonderful!” Toby argues. He promptly bangs into a chair.

“That was convincing,” Happy says, but she takes Toby’s hand and lets him spin her to the high energy, high volume music shouting itself across the speakers.

It’s a song from a few years back, something Toby knows every lyric to. Then he exclaims, “Hey, this song is about you!”

“What?”

“MILF!” he exclaims. “You’ve got that MILF money, or whatever.”

“Is this like the time you starting singing, ‘Addie’s mom has got it going on’ when we were in the grocery story?” Happy asks.

Toby nods, dancing like a fool. “That’s because you are a certified MILF.”

Happy stops dancing for a minute. “I think that is, officially, the stupidest thing you’ve said in your life.”

He leans forward and kisses her on the nose. “I know. But that’s why you love me.”

“You’re cuter when you don’t talk,” she mumbles.

When he stops talking, Toby is a decent dancer. Happy, though, isn’t. But this is one area where she’ll let him lead. She’s getting hot, even in jeans and a tank top, and she thinks it’s because of more than the club’s lack of air conditioning. Toby’s hands wrap around her waist, and she’s pressed up against him, her back against his chest.

It’s been a long time since she’s been somewhere like this, and she’s never been somewhere like this with someone she really likes. It’s strange to know that, when she goes home with the guy she’s dancing with, she’ll wake up in the morning glad to see him. And he’ll make her coffee and she’ll pick up their daughter and maybe they’ll do a dance to Addie’s favorite songs in the kitchen while Toby makes pancakes.

Happy turns around and grabs the front of Toby’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. His hands go for her waist, holding her close. She keeps forgetting that she gets to keep this, keep him, and it hits her in the weirdest moments. But here in this stupid club that Paige dragged them too, she knows she’s luckier than every other person here, has more waiting for her the next morning.

They’ve never done this together before – going out has never been their kind of thing – but right now Happy doesn’t give a damn about public displays of affection right now, and they have all the time in the world.

Well, sort of.

“Get it, you two!” Paige exclaims, laughing at them.

Happy and Toby pull away from each other. “Are you drunk?” Toby asks.

“Yes, I am,” Paige says. “And clearly you guys are too, because Happy’s hands were all over your ass, Toby, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen you two do that in public.”

Happy feels like she should be blushing or something, but instead she just grins. “What, you jealous that your boyfriend can’t have fun?”

“Walter can have fun!” Paige replies. “Walter, come on, we’re dancing.”

“We’re not –“

Paige grabs Walter’s hand and drags him close to her. There’s an attempt at a salsa dance, which doesn’t go particularly well because Walter has two left feet. Happy laughs as she rests her face against Toby’s shoulder.

“That was fun,” he says, kissing her temple. “And, um,” he coughs, “a little unlike you.”

“Hey, I used to be all over the sleazy club scene,” she replies. “Like, all over it.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous or something?” Toby laughs.

“Depends,” Happy says with a shrug. “Is it working?”

“No,” Toby replies. “Because I love you, you love me, and I’m about to start singing Barney so I’m going to shut up now.” He looks down at Happy. “Our daughter needs to stop watching Barney. It’s decided.”

They dance for another hour, but all of them start to realize how they aren’t in their twenties anymore. Except for Sylvester, who appears to significantly dislike the club scene from the first moment they walked in. He and Cabe had been playing pool for the whole time.

“Are we leaving?” Sylvester asks, looking hopeful. “Because I am ready to go.”

“He’s just mad I’ve beaten him half the time,” Cabe laughs, clapping Sly on the shoulder.

“By that logic, you’ve lost to him half the time, as well,” Walter notes.

“Mr. O’Brien, I believe that constitutes a burn.” Toby holds out a fist and Walter awkwardly bumps it. “But, Sly’s got a point. I’m ready to get something to eat.”

Sylvester frowns. “To eat?”

“Yeah, man, something to eat,” Toby repeats. “I guess you didn’t have this experience, but whenever you go out for a night and stay out dancing really late, you go to the local diner and eat an unreasonable amount of carbohydrates.”

“That sounds like a poor decision,” Walter says, frowning.

“Then you don’t have to come,” Paige says pointedly, “and you can go pick up Ralph and take him home while the grown ups have fun.”

The way Walter’s internal struggle shows on his face is funny, but Happy is well aware that laughing would be a bad move right now.

“Let’s go to Kovelsky’s,” Walter finally decides. And, pointedly, he adds, “All of us.”

There’s a little grumbling from Sylvester, especially when Cabe gets in the passenger side and Sly is shoved into one of the back seats. Walter drives, as he refused to drink anything but, “Water and lemon, please,” all night.

Paige, whose eyes are bright from the multiple beers she downed in the two hours they were there, throws an arm around Happy’s and Toby’s shoulders. Happy has no idea how she ended up in the middle of the two of them, but she’s still drunk enough not to care.

“You guys are awesome,” she sighs, beaming. “You guys are coming over for Christmas, right?”

Happy looks over at Toby. “We’re what now?”

“We’re having a Christmas thing like last year, at my apartment,” she looks pointedly at Toby. “But this year nobody is going to be stupid enough to concuss themselves, right?”

Toby nods, looking a little sheepish. “No concussions this holiday season.”

Kovelsky’s is strange at night, Happy realizes. It’s staffed by people who don’t recognize any of the team and Paige doesn’t recognize the waitresses, either.

But the pancakes are still good, the giant mound of home fries are still good, and hot chocolate is still good.

“Can I have –”

“No,” Happy replies, slapping Toby’s hand away. “If you wanted pancakes, you should have ordered pancakes.”

“But my post-drinking food is always eggs benedict and hash browns,” he says with a pout. “I can’t break tradition.”

“Yeah? Well, I’ll break your hand if you keep trying to grab my pancakes.”

From across the table, Paige giggles, and they all look at her, confused.

“Sorry, just –” she giggles again. “He’s trying to grab your pancakes.”

One by one, starting with Happy, the innuendo settles on the group, followed by a groan of exasperation or, in Toby’s case, a giggle.

“You people are children,” Sylvester says, shaking his head.

“You’re the one eating a waffle with Reese’s Pieces and a mountain of whipped cream,” Paige points out.

Sly looks offended. “So are you!”

That’s how their meal continues until they finish, Paige leaving a wallop of a tip on top of their bill because, “Working the night shift sucks, in any job.”

To Happy’s delight, she and Toby get dropped off first so Paige can pick up Ralph.

“Hey, guys,” Patrick says, opening the door. “Addie fell asleep around seven thirty, Ralph around ten. He’s on the couch.”

Paige beams when she sees Ralph curled up on the couch. “God, he looks so much younger when he’s asleep,” she sighs. “My baby.” She walks up and wakes him up gently, and Ralph grumbles something incoherent in response, and turns over, whacking at Paige’s hand. “Not as adorable now,” Paige sighs. She shakes his shoulder. “Up you get, kid. We need to go home.”

“No,” he mumbles.

“It’s either that or Cabe carries you out to the car,” Paige replies.

“When did I volunteer for that?” Cabe asks, but, apparently, the threat is weird enough that Ralph drowsily sits up.

“I’m going,” he mumbles.

Cabe, Paige, and Ralph leave with sleepy goodbyes.

“How were they?” Happy asks Patrick.

He shrugs. “Great. Addie had some trouble going to sleep, but Ralph read her something from his physics textbook and she was out in twenty minutes.”

“So perhaps she won’t be an astrophysicist,” Toby guesses.

“No, it was on electromagnetism,” Patrick says. “I think. This stuff is a little beyond me, if I’m being honest.”

“Then she’ll be an astronomer who focuses on communicating with aliens,” Toby guesses. “Ooh. Maybe she’s be an alien behavioral psychologist!”

“And with that,” Happy says, “you can escape, Dad. Thanks for watching the kids.”

“Any time,” Patrick replies. “You know how much I love them. Plus, they keep me young. Did you know Addie knows the tune to every song in The Lion King and The Little Mermaid?”

“Yes,” Happy and Toby deadpan.

“Well, she proved that tonight,” Patrick replies. “With an impressive dance routine. Though, half the time, she has no clue what the words are.”

“Yeah, there’s that,” Toby sighs.

Happy shuffles Patrick out the door, because she has her own agenda, and sighs when the house is silent save for Toby humming as he pulls out two glasses and fills them with water.

 “So,” Happy says, “I’m not tired.”

“Really?” Toby replies, yawning. “I’m a little exhausted. I haven’t been up this late since, what, New Year’s Eve? It’s been a while.”

Happy clears her throat. “Uh, Toby? I’m not tired. Take the hint.”

“What hint?”

She groans. “God, you’re annoying.” She walks toward him and shoves him up against the wall, kissing him as hard as she can to get the point across. Toby makes a noise of surprise and then leans into it, hooking his arms around Happy’s waist.

“You know,” he says, in between kisses, “I don’t think I’m tired anymore.”

“Good,” Happy says, grabbing the front of his shirt. “Because I have plans to really tire you out.”

Toby barks out a laugh. “God, don’t try the whole dropping a line thing. You sound ridiculous.”

“You sound ridiculous,” Happy mumbles as they fall over each other into bed. “And stop insulting me while I’m trying to get in your pants. That just feels rude.”

“No, it’s not rude,” Toby says, pulling off his jacket, “it’s hilarious.”

“Jerk,” Happy replies, kicking off her jeans.

Toby leans in for another kiss and Happy rolls so she’s on top of him. It’s fast and full of laughter, the two of them snarking back and forth at each other as clothes come off and kisses are pressed to every inch of skin.

When Happy’s scrambling in the bedside drawer for a condom – she is not down for another unplanned pregnancy, that’s for sure – she bashes her hand into the side of the drawer.

“Fuck!” she exclaims, shaking her hand out.

Through the baby monitor they hear a little distressed noise.

“Stay asleep,” Happy pleads in a whisper. “Go back to sleep, Addie.”

The baby monitor goes silent within a minute.

“Oh, thank god,” Toby says, before sitting up and pulling Happy close.

These moments are fleeting and far between ever since they had Addie, but Happy thinks that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or makes something grow fonder, whatever. What she really knows is that Toby’s still really good at this whole orgasm thing and they’re satisfied – Happy twice over – in less than fifteen minutes.

“I know a romantic shower is usually the next step,” Toby says, a little out of breath, “but can we save that for tomorrow? I’m tired.”

“You read my mind,” Happy mumbles.

“You’re still a terrible dancer,” Toby says quietly. Happy’s not even sure he’s still awake.

“Shut up, jerk,” Happy grumbles, but she curls into him and pulls him close, and listens to the way he babbles about how much he loves her until she falls asleep.


	50. Addie's Second Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas again, but this holiday does not go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for emetophobia. And sick babies :(

Happy wakes up to find Addie quietly standing next to her bed, just staring at her. She practically falls out of bed she’s so startled. “What are you doing there?!”

“I wait, Mommy,” Addie says. She looks confused. “You sleep.”

“Any reason?” Happy mumbles. She yawns as Addie rubs her eyes.

“Mommy,” Addie says, grinning. “It Christmas.”

“Oh, right,” Happy says. She wishes she was pretending she’d forgotten the holiday. “Hey, baby, why don’t we take another little nap?”

“No, Mommy, it Christmas,” Addie argues. But she still reaches her arms up to Happy, who pulls her up.

“How’d you get in here, love bug?” Happy asks, running her hands through Addie’s messy hair.

“Daddy,” Addie explains. “Then he get tummy ache.”

Happy frowns. “Tummy ache?”

Addie nods. “He go,” and then, with surprising dramatic flair, Addie reenacts a scene of vomiting.

“Oh?” Happy asks.

Addie nods. “Daddy boo-boo,” she explains, tapping her belly.

“Well, then we’ll give Daddy some space,” Happy kisses Addie on the top of the head. “You know what I might do?”

Addie looks over at Happy. “Christmas?”

“Not quite,” Happy replies. “I was thinking I’ll go check on Daddy.”

“Yeah, Mommy,” Addie says, and Happy watches her fade into sleep, curling up with her blankie and stuffed wrench. “I sleep.”

Happy checks her phone as she walks into the bathroom. It’s only five in the morning. “Of course,” she mumbles.

She walks in to see Toby curled up over the toilet, looking exhausted and miserable.

“So this doesn’t look like a hangover,” Happy says, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. “Not to mention that you had one glass of red wine last night and then fell asleep at seven.”

Toby groans. “Happy, I don’t know what happened,” he sits up slowly, like it’s a miserable challenge. “I just – I woke up and I heard Addie, but when I walked past the bathroom all of a sudden –” he gestures to the toilet “ –this happened.”

“You need Pepto or something?” Happy asks. “Because Addie’s out cold on my side of the bed. I’m all yours.”

Toby laughs. “See, this is what bothers me,” he says, leaning up against the wall. “If I’d gotten this sick a couple weeks ago when we’d gone out with the team, I would have deserved this. This would have been my fault.” He drops his head against the tile of the bathroom wall. “But instead, I was the perfect dorky dad last night with the one glass of wine and the early night and somehow I got this sick out of nowhere.”

Happy racks her brain to try and figure out where Toby might have gotten food poisoning, but she can’t come up with anything. “I feel like I’d be sick by now if you’ve got food poisoning,” Happy says. “Did you eat anything I haven’t yet?”

“Your immune system is probably a lot stronger than mine is,” Toby explains. “You spent your childhood in high-stress situations and you’ve been a highly active, highly athletic person for your whole life.”

“Okay, but you’re a doctor,” Happy counters. “You spent your entire teenage years around sick people.”

“Mostly mentally ill people,” Toby corrects. “And I haven’t been around sick people in ages.” He slides down the wall a little bit, looking more pathetic than Happy’s ever seen him. “Happy, damn it, I’m sick.”

“Get up, you big lug,” Happy sighs. “I’ll take care of you.”

Toby looks incredibly thankful. “You will?”

“Yes, stupid, now get in the goddamn shower.”

Toby pouts. “You need to work on your bedside manner.”

“Yeah, and you have puke on your shirt, so I really don’t think you should be the one criticizing me right now.” But she puts a hand out and helps Toby up, letting him lean on her.

“You have a point.” He half collapses in her arms. “What do I have to do, Doctor Quinn, medicine woman?”

“Oh, that cannot be a thing,” Happy groans. “Look, first, get in the shower. Cool yourself down. I think you’re running a fever.”

“Probably,” Toby mumbles. He jolts when the water hits him directly in the face. “That – that did not feel good.”

“It will when the water heats up,” Happy explains. “Just relax, okay? I don’t want you making yourself any sicker.”

He nods. “Go check on Addie.”

“And get you a glass of water?”

Toby nods again. “I love you.”

Happy smiles at him. “Yeah, I know.” Happy checks in on Addie, who is completely asleep and sprawled out across their bed. She’s shocked at just how much space a kid who isn’t even fifteen months old can take up, her blanket and wrench reaching spaces that Addie’s little body can’t.

“Oh, you’re unreasonably cute,” Happy sighs. She kisses the top of her head, and Addie curls onto her side, putting the edge of her blanket in her mouth. “It’s a good thing I don’t have to worry about you right now.” Happy tucks Addie in, making sure she’s warm and comfortable, then goes back to the bathroom to check on Toby.

“Hey, you okay?” Happy asks as she pulls open the curtain of the shower. She finds Toby sitting in the bath tub, looking half asleep. For a moment Happy worries that Toby fell and hit his head. “Toby?!”

“What?” Toby asks, opening his eyes. “What? I’m fine. I’m good. My legs just stopped working and I sat down.”

“In that case,” Happy says, reaching out to change the shower head to the tub faucet, “I have a solution.”

“A bubble bath?” Toby asks, looking giddy through the exhaustion.

“Not what I had planned,” Happy says with a sigh, “but yeah, I guess so.” Her idea had been just a regular bath, but Toby looks so elated at the prospect of a bubble bath that Happy, apparently, doesn’t have a choice.

While Happy is in the middle of filling the bath tub, Addie toddles in. “Daddy sick?” she asks, looking concerned.

“Oh, Daddy’s fine,” Happy assures her. “I promise. Just has a boo-boo belly.”

Addie frowns. “Like me?”

Happy nods. “You get them too, kiddo.”

Addie drops her blanket and wrench, walks into the bathroom, then flops into the bathtub to give Toby a hug. “Better, Daddy.”

Toby looks confused, like he’s unsure if he should laugh or cry. “Thanks, baby, but you just got your pajamas all wet.”

“Daddy hug,” Addie says authoritatively. And, though Addie’s language isn’t particularly great yet, Happy understands. It was more important to Happy to hug Toby when he’s sick than to feel comfortable in her pajamas.

“You’re the best baby girl ever,” Toby says, “but you should probably get out of the tub before you get drenched.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Addie says. Unfortunately, though, Addie is already drenched, and doesn’t seem to realize it as she walks out of the bathtub. Before Happy can catch her, Addie slips on a puddle her clothing has made. Happy just manages to snag her before she bonks her head on the floor, but, at this point, the whole family is fully dressed and covered in water.

“This is far from my plan on Christmas Day,” Happy says with a sigh.

“Oh, shit!” Toby exclaims. “It’s Christmas!”

“Sit, sit,” Addie sings. “Daddy sit.”

Happy leans her head against the bathroom sink. “Merry freakin’ Christmas.”

~

Happy decides to put an end to the idea that they might be able to do their Christmas plans around eight in the morning, after Toby has been unable to keep down three attempts of saltines and ginger ale.

“Hey, Happy!” Paige says jovially. “Merry Christmas! How are you guys? Ready for our big Christmas fandango?”

“Actually, that’s why I called,” Happy says, hesitating a little bit. “We have, um. We have a bit of a problem.”

“Problem?” Paige asks. “What’s that mean?”

“Toby is currently throwing up all over the place,” Happy replies. “It’s basically puke city in here.”

She hears the typical exasperated sigh on the other end of a line, what Paige does whenever Happy does something antisocial or stupid. “That news could have been delivered less graphically,” she mumbles.

“As could have the vomit in the bath tub, but we couldn’t really control that, now, could we?” Happy replies. “Wait. Sorry. I’m just really tired.”

“You just apologized. I’m considering it a Christmas miracle, and I’m not holding anything against you,” Paige replies.

“Basically, we’re not sure we should come to your Christmas when Toby is losing his guts all over the place,” Happy explains. “We want to! I swear. But, Toby –” She looks over in bed, where Toby kind of looks like a corpse as he lay completely still in their bed. “Toby is not doing so hot.”

“I understand,” Paige says. “Don’t worry about it. Maybe later today the team can call in and we can Skype with you guys.”

Happy looks at Addie, who is singing quietly and sweetly to Toby as he sleeps. “I think Addie would really like that,” Happy replies.

“Have a really happy Christmas, Happy,” Paige says. “And we’ll exchange presents later on, okay?”

Happy hangs up the phone and crawls back into bed. “Hey, baby,” she says to Addie. “Thanks for taking care of your Dad for me.”

“He sleep, Mommy,” Addie explains. “Lot of sleep.”

Happy nods. “His body is using white blood cells to fight off infection.”

Addie frowns. “What a fec-tin?” Addie asks.

“It’s, uh,” Happy pauses. “Um.” She searches her mind for a way to explain this to an infant. Toby’s told her a million times that Addie can’t quite conceptualize any value over twenty at this point, that she doesn’t quite understand a lot related to abstract thinking. But Happy’s entire mind is abstract thinking, so this isn’t her easiest part of parenting.

“Well,” Happy says, “think of it like the insides of your body are trying to fight off the germs trying to hurt you.”

Addie looks down at her arms. “I hit derms?” she asks.

“No,” Happy says firmly. “No hitting. Ever. That’s not safe. But your body does things to protect itself on the inside.”

Addie tilts her head to the side. “What?”

“I’ll explain it when you’re older, Addie,” Happy mumbles. “Why don’t we take a little nap with Daddy?”

“Okay,” Addie replies, and she flops down against the sheets. Happy watches her go from awake to sleep in seconds.

“How do you do that?” Happy mumbles, and she settles herself down next to Addie, ready to close her eyes.

She looks around the room, decorated with Christmas. Toby and Addie had covered the entire apartment in gold, green, red, and white one morning while Happy was sleeping. It’s comforting – Happy never enjoyed the holidays like she does now.

Her family sleeps and she plays games on her phone, until Toby wakes up and looks over at her.

“I’m not dead, am I?” he mumbles.

“Sure hope not,” Happy replies. “Because that would be hard to explain why I’m here.”

Toby laughs quietly. “I’m feeling better.”

“That’s good,” Happy replies. “This one fell asleep.”

“It’s been a chaotic morning,” Toby says. “I can’t blame her.”

Addie begins to stir and opens her big brown eyes to look at Toby. “Hi, Christmas!” Addie exclaims. She frowns. “Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy. It Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Addie Grace,” Happy says, kissing her forehead. “You ready to open presents?”

Addie sits up with a bright grin. “Pe-sints!” she exclaims. And then her mood changes. Happy watches in absolute horror as Addie goes from content and pleased to actually turning green in the cheeks.

“Oh, Addie, are you –”

“Mommy, I –” Addie interrupts herself with a retch. Luckily, Happy’s able to pick Addie up and make her way halfway to the bathroom before it happens.

“Oh dear,” Addie says, sighing. “I got a boo-boo belly.”

Happy manages to hop over the mess in the hallway and get Addie into the bathtub before Addie gets sick again. Happy’s got no clue how to help Addie through this – usually, when Addie gets sick, it’s because she’s having a fit. But this – she can’t quite stop this.

Addie starts crying as it happens, and Happy rubs her back. Toby brings in a new set of clothes for Addie, along with her blankie.

“In case Addie needs something to snuggle,” Toby explains.

It’s another two hours before Addie’s sickness calms down, and another half hour beyond that for her to cool down and stop crying. Happy and Toby exchange turns rocking her until the light comes back in her eyes and she asks, for the millionth time, “Christmas?”

“Of course, darling,” Toby says, kissing her forehead. “Let’s open presents in bed, does that sound good?”

Addie nods. “Yeah, Daddy.”

“I’ll go grab the present that Mommy made you,” he looks at Happy, “and get started with dinner.”

Addie nods again. “Yeah, Daddy.”

Toby settles the big present in front of Happy, pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads, and goes into the kitchen.

Happy watches as Addie opens the gift. The tape and wrapping paper are a little tricky for her tiny hands, but she watches Addie pull out the gift and hears her gasp.

“Mommy,” Addie says, eyes widening in excitement. “Wow.”

“It’s called a robot,” Happy explains. “You have a control that can make the robot do different things. Do you like it?”

Addie nods slowly. Happy relaxes for the first time since she’d woken up that morning. Addie seems happy, healthy. Like she’s not about to vomit all over the place for the twelfth time that day. “I love it, Mommy,” Addie says reverently.

Happy leans in and kisses Addie on the top of the head. “I love you, Addie Grace.”

Addie snuggles into Happy’s chest, and Happy wraps her arms around her little girl. It’s moments like these where parenthood is everything Happy could have dreamed of, even though it’s nothing like Happy had expected. She knew there would be scary moments, but she hadn’t know that those moments would be accompanied by a love Happy hadn’t felt before. She hadn’t known there would be moments of absolute terror, like there had been when the people from Homeland had tried to hurt her daughter, but those moments have filled her with unbelievable power and conviction that have helped her get through all the moments of fear that could have taken her down before.

There’s vulnerability, but there is strength.

“I love you, Addie,” Happy repeats, taking the moment to cuddle with Addie as much as she can.

“Wanna show Daddy,” Addie says. “Where Daddy?”

“Daddy is making dinner,” Happy explains. “Yummy Christmas dinner that –” All of a sudden, Happy’s stomach churns, and she realizes that this is definitely, definitely a stomach bug. The Beef Wellington that Toby had so proudly constructed now feels like it would be torture, and she knows something bad is about to happen. “Addie, go find your dad.”

And then Happy bolts into the bathroom with speed she hasn’t seen in ages, and regurgitates her lunch.

It feels like absolute death, but she also feels something else tapping her.

“It okay, Mommy, I love you,” Addie says. She pats Happy on the back from where she sits on the tile with her blankie.

“Go with Daddy, Addie Grace,” Happy says, hugging the toilet. “Don’t worry about me, kiddo.”

“Mommy need love,” Addie explains, still patting Happy’s back. “I love Mommy.”

Happy laughs. “Thanks, Addie. I appreciate it.”

Toby walks past the bathroom with two glasses of champagne in his hands, stops, and then backs up so he’s directly in the bathroom doorway. “What the heck?”

“Mama sick,” Addie whispers gently. “Be nice, Daddy.”

Toby laughs. “Always.”

The next two hours are a blur of glasses of water, blankets, back pats from Addie, and discomfort. She finally makes her way out of the bathroom after far too long, and collapses in silence while Toby makes Addie dinner in the kitchen.

She wakes up some time later, finally feeling rested, to a little girl curled up next to her and Toby snoring a little way away. It comforts her, somehow, that Toby is honking away like a damn truck.

She sits up with a little headache, but her stomach has cooled down, and she considers that a positive. She walks into the kitchen, slowly, but without any need to dart into the bathroom. She makes her way to the cabinet to fill up a glass of water. She sips it slowly, leaning against the kitchen table, and startles only slight when someone says, “Feeling better?”

“Hi, Doc,” Happy says. Her voice sounds hoarse and feeble to her own ears, and it would annoy her if she wasn’t so exhausted. “So much for a Merry Christmas.”

“Oh, come on,” Toby says, waving her off. “This happens to every family at some point. I know a family who went down to Disney World and spent a full night exchanging who got to vomit in the toilet and who got to vomit in the sink. We totally beat them – we’re at least at home.”

Happy manages a grin. “I guess we’ve got that going for us.”

Toby walks up to Happy and kisses the top of her head.

“Oh, god, don’t come near me,” Happy says, stepping away. “I’m disgusting.”

“You’re beautiful,” Toby argues. “Don’t ever tell me that you’re disgusting.”

“I spent two hours throwing up all over the place,” Happy says. “I’m gross.”

“You’re sick,” Toby replies. “How about I run you a bath while Addie takes her nap, okay?”

Happy thinks about arguing, but she realizes she’s too tired to do it. She nods at Toby, who looks incredibly pleased to be playing the part of the doctor again instead of the patient.

He sets up the bath for Happy, including a surprising number of candles and low lights, and something about it is shockingly romantic. The room smells of cinnamon and Christmas trees, and those scents together have never comforted Happy. But, today? It does.

“Toby,” Happy breathes, “this is awesome.”

“You take your bath, and when you’re feeling better, I’ll give you a kiss,” Toby says with a smile. “Sound good?”

Happy nods. “You’re such a dork.”

“That I am,” Toby admits. “But I’m you’re dork.”

“Yes, you are.”

Happy relaxes in the warm water.

“Merry Christmas, Toby,” she says, relaxing.

“Merry Christmas, Hap.”

~

Addie’s nap ends up being her sleep for the night, and Toby and Happy follows suit.

When they wake up the next morning, Addie is gleeful, Toby mirrors her energy, and Happy is feeling well enough to build a fort with the two of them.

“So, we didn’t get an actual Christmas,” Toby concedes. “So what? It matters who you’re with, right?”

Happy nods, managing to wrangle the setup of the poles to make sure nothing falls. She smiles. “Is it weird that this is still one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had?”

Toby’s face falls, and Happy thinks for a moment that she’s said something wrong, something disturbing.

“Oh, god, sorry, Toby, that was –”

Toby steps away from the piece of fort he was working on, and wraps Happy in a hug. “Oh, Happy.”

She pauses. “What?”

“I just,” and that’s when Happy realizes that Toby’s voice is choked up, “I keep forgetting that you never got a real Christmas day before you joined Scorpion. And that breaks my heart.” He leans down and kisses her, something full of words he’s not sure how to say. She tries to say it back. He looks sad when he pulls away. “I wish you could have –”

“Stop, okay?” Happy says, pressing a finger to Toby’s lips. “Stop. It’s not your fault that I was shuffled through foster homes, and there’s nothing you could have done. Nothing. You need to stop doing that to yourself.”

Toby nods, but his eyes still scream misery.

Happy sighs. “What’s important now is that Addie is happy and that Addie is having a good Christmas. And, look at her.” They both do, and Addie is twirling around on her sit and spin, singing a song that sounds like it might be from Disney. She exudes joy and happiness, and Happy wishes she could remember feeling that way. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody happier in my life.”

Toby nods. “We don’t suck as parents, do we?” he mutters.

“Did a lot better than ours did, that’s for sure,” Happy replies.

They’re silent for a bit, quiet enough that Addie doesn’t even notice the way that they’re looking at her, and Toby traces random patterns in the skin of her shoulder. Happy closes her eyes as she relaxes in his arms, wanting to memorize this feeling.

“Toby?” she asks.

“What’s up, babe?”

“Don’t call me babe,” Happy insists.

“Right,” Toby laughs.

“I was just – thank you for making my Christmases from here on out be better than all my previous Christmases combined.”

Toby freezes, and then turns around, giving Happy a look of complete awe. “Happy Quinn, I am in love with you.”

“I am aware of that,” Happy replies. She feels a little confused, because Toby’s said it a million times, but it feels different this time, for reasons Happy can’t quite understand.

“No, Happy,” Toby says, and he has tears in his eyes when he holds her face in her hands. “I am so unbelievable in love with you –”

“You’re not going to start quoting Buffy, are you?”

Toby groans. “No, just – let me.” He sighs. “Happy, I love you. And I always will. And I still can’t believe that you chose me after all we’ve,” he pauses, “after all we’ve seen.”

“Why are you going all sappy on me?” Happy asks. “Are you going to throw up again?”

“No,” Toby says. “I just like to remind you sometimes.”

Happy leans against Toby and they watch Addie get herself so dizzy on the sit in spin that she stands up and immediately falls over. She bursts into tears and Toby and Happy both rush over to her, soothing her with words and little kisses.

“It’s okay, Addie,” Toby says, smoothing her hair. “No tears needed.”

“No cry,” Addie says, pulling herself together. And then she smiles. “Christmas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, my family were the sad souls in Disney that Toby was talking about. It was...unpleasant.


	51. Addie, 15 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addie's growing up faster than either of them had planned, which is causing minor problems. Structural problems.

It's god knows what time when Happy hears a familiar voice. “Mommy, gotta potty,” Addie shouts from her nursery.

Happy throws her legs out of bed. “What? Okay, I’ll be right there.”

“No, Mommy,” and this time Addie’s voice comes from a lot closer. “I'm okay at the potty.”

Happy shakes her head, because she definitely didn’t just hear what she thought she heard. “What?” She walks in to see Addie sitting on her toddler potty, looking drowsy but rather proud of herself.

“I go potty!” she says, looking impressed with herself.

“How did you get out of bed?” Happy asks, perplexed. They invested in a stupid amount of money in Pull-Ups for this endeavor, so Addie wouldn’t have to worry about nighttime. And now, here she is, out of her bed at midnight. Sitting on the potty.

Addie shrugs. “No more door.”

"Door?" Happy asks. She peeks over to Addie's nursery - the door still hangs on its hinges. "What do you mean, Addie?"

"Bed door," Addie says.

“Wait right there,” Happy says. She walks into Addie’s room to see that the part of the barrier that holds Addie into her crib is down. Happy studies it to make sure it didn’t break. No – Addie just figured out a way to take down the latch. By the looks of it, Addie hooked her blankie over one latch, a wormy toy around the other, and pulled them with all her might until the latches let the barrier down.

Happy drops her head. “Are you freaking kidding me?”

“Mommy, I done,” Addie announces. She starts singing. When they started potty training, teaching Addie to sing when she was all done seemed like a great idea. It kept her entertained and helped her become more patient. In practicality, though, it was loud and annoying and distracted Addie from the situation which was, of course, potty training.

Happy helps Addie clean up and wash her hands, then Addie toddles into her bedroom. When Happy gets into the nursery, she watches Addie grab her Pull Ups from the top shelf of her closet.

“What are you – how did you figure out how to get up there?”

“I climb,” Addie says simply. As if to prove it, Addie bounces from the top of her picture frame shelf, down to the window sill, and then down onto her bean bag chair. It takes a moment, but she scrambles into her Pull Ups. “See, Mommy? I do it.”

Happy nods slowly. “Yes you did, Addie, but that’s not safe.” She starts scanning the room for other safety hazards. “No more climbing without Mommy or Daddy, okay?”

She pouts. “No?”

Happy shakes her head. “Not unless Mommy or Daddy can see you and help you.”

Addie flops onto the bean bag chair. “Oh, dear.”

Happy tries not to laugh. “I know, I know. This is a miserable experience for you, Addie, but it’s time for bed.” She scoops her up. “Up you get.”

“Your bed, Mama,” Addie says, snuggling into Happy’s shoulder. It’s so damn cute that Happy struggles to resist. Recently, with the development of her speech and language skills, Addie has decided that “Mommy” is more grown up than “Mama,” and now almost always uses that name. But sometimes, when she’s feeling snuggly and sleepy, or when she’s sick, Addie calls Happy “Mama” again and it sends a little twinge through Happy’s heart.

“Okay,” Happy relents. “But just for tonight.” She rationalizes it that it’s not safe for Addie to be in her room alone tonight since she can dismantle her crib, but she knows it’s actually because she’s scared of how fast Addie is growing up and wants to hold onto these cuddly moments as much as she can.

Addie starts singing Bohemian Rhapsody into Happy’s shirt, and Toby wakes up when the two of them settle in bed.

“S’okay?” he mumbles, eyes still closed.

“Yeah, Daddy,” Addie says. “I break my crib.”

Toby sits up, his eyes flying open. “You did what?!”

Happy shoots Addie a look. “Addie, you did not break your crib. You unlatched it.”

Toby groans. “That might actually be worse, baby girl,” he kisses Addie’s nose. “Honey, you have to be safe. Was that safe?”

Addie shakes her head. “No, but I gotta go potty in the potty.”

Toby looks at Happy for clarification.

“She had to use the bathroom, so she unlatched her crib, called me to help her, and went to the potty by herself,” Happy explains.

Toby falls back onto the bed. “Let’s just – let’s sleep and deal with this tomorrow.” He closes his eyes. “We’re going to deal,” he sighs, “with this tomorrow.”

They fall asleep with Addie draped across the two of them, and, somehow, it’s not the most uncomfortable Happy’s slept.

~

They wake up to Addie snoring, somehow stretched out even further across the bed. Her foot is practically in Toby’s mouth.

“That looks fun,” Happy mumbles, detaching Addie’s lock grip on her shirt.

Toby moves Addie just far enough that he can sit up. Addie thumps onto the bed, hugging Happy’s pillow. “The sheer number of times she’s stuck her foot in my mouth,” he sighs.

“How many times has this happened?” Happy asks. “Is this a daily thing?”

“You’d be surprised,” Toby replies.

Addie sleeps for longer than usual, giving Addie and Toby time for a quiet coffee and breakfast, until she wakes up at ten saying, “Mommy, oh no.”

Happy ducks her head, sighing. “This ought to be good.”

“Considering she’s in our bed, you’re not kidding,” Toby replies.

Happy walks into their bedroom to see Addie standing in the middle of the room with a weird look on her face.

“What’s wrong, kiddo?” Happy asks, planting her hands on her hips.

“Mommy, my Pull-Up,” she says. “So much.”

“So much what?” Happy asks. “Wait a second. You don’t need to tell me the specifics of that.”

She helps Addie get changed into another, clean Pull Up and makes sure everything is in order, then dresses Addie in the outfit Toby had picked out for her the night before.

“Does she really need to wear a skirt?” Happy calls to Toby. “It’s Sunday. We’re not doing anything today.”

“It’s a cute skirt,” Toby replies. He walks into Addie’s nursery. “Look at you, baby girl, you’re wearing the cutest skirt in the world!”

Addie giggles. “Hi, Daddy.”

Toby scoops her up in his arms, and he makes her breakfast while Happy digs through all of their paperwork to find the directions to reconstruct Addie’s crib into a baby bed.

“You know, we could just wing it,” Happy tells Toby. “Nothing’s saying we can’t.”

“I’m saying we can’t,” Toby says. “I don’t want to build a bed that collapses on our kid in the middle of the night.”

Happy sighs. “I'm a genius engineer, dope. I could probably design this thing better than they could.”

“Right,” Toby says, walking into the nursery with Addie on his hip. “But you didn’t design it. So we need to listen to the directions.”

“If we can find them,” Happy replies.

It’s another hour and a half of Happy searching and Toby playing with Addie before she pulls out the directions. “Oh, god, finally.”

Addie looks over at Happy from where she and Toby are playing their three hundredth game of patty cake. She taps her tummy. “My tummy is loud.”

“Okay, pausing the bed,” Happy says. She sets down the instructions and waits with Addie while Toby makes them lunch. Addie insists on singing The Little Mermaid while Toby works on boiling the water, and makes it clear not to touch the pot.

"No touch," Addie says, nodding. "Hot hot."

"Very hot," Toby says, "not safe."

Eventually, lunch is ready and the three of them sit down to eat. Toby scarfs down his pasta as fast as possible and then darts into Addie’s room.

“Just wait for me,” Happy says, “or else you’re going to get stuck in the baby bed.”

“I’ll be fine,” Toby argues.

Ten minutes later, Toby’s groaning with frustration in Addie’s bedroom. “How the hell is this supposed to work?!” Toby exclaims. “It’s supposed to easily transition into a toddler bed.” Happy hears him drop his wrench onto the floor. “This doesn’t work.”

“I told you to wait for me,” Happy singsongs. “But, no," she boops Addie on the nose, and she giggles, "Dad was too impatient.” She takes a bite of her pasta. “And you ate your lunch too fast.”

“I made a tasty lunch and I was going to eat it as quickly as possible,” Toby replies.

Addie’s still making her way through her bowl of pasta, giving up on using her hands and instead face planting into the bowl of pasta while singing delightedly. She kicks her little legs against the seat of her high chair to the beat of her song. When she lifts her head up, Happy has to laugh.

“Funny, Mommy?” Addie asks,

“You have spaghetti sauce all over yourself, goof,” Happy replies. “You look silly.”

Addie picks up a handful of spaghetti and squishes it up against her face. “Getti!” Addie giggles.

“Can you guys stop goofing around and come help?” Toby asks. He walks into the room. “Okay, now I understand why you’re out here still.” He pulls out his phone. “I’ve got to get a picture of this.”

Addie’s grin is goofy and bright.

“Okay, we’re going to have to stick you in the bath before we keep –”

Addie’s grin disappears. “No bath,” she insists.

Happy frowns. “Addie, you’re a mess.”

“No bath!” Addie exclaims, folding her arms. It only gets more spaghetti sauce all over her, staining the tee shirt that Sylvester had designed for her. Toby will have to bleach it or Sylvester will be miserable.

“Do you want to be messy?” Toby asks. He leans against the wall casually, but Happy knows it’s because Addie sometimes tries to run and if he’s standing there, she at least can’t bolt out the front door.

Addie shakes her head.

“Then a bath is a great idea!” Toby says. “A bath will make sure you aren’t messy.”

“No bath!” Addie insists. “No bath.” She picks up spaghetti and crams it in her mouth. Well, half of it. The rest slides down her shirt down onto the Hawaiian print skirt Toby insisted on.

“Oh,” Toby says, looking a little miserable. “Not the skirt.”

Happy shoots him a look. “Bath with Mom or Dad?” Happy asks.

“No bath.”

“Nice counter offer,” Happy replies. "But it's not happening." Addie looks at her, completely confused.

“Addie has no idea what those words mean,” Toby says.

“Right,” Happy replies. “Right.” She turns back to Addie. “Addie Grace, would you like to take a bath with Mommy or Daddy?”

“No bath,” Addie repeats.

Happy sighs. “Okay, bath with Mommy.”

“No bath!” Addie screams.

Happy’s glad she’s wearing workout clothing, because getting Addie to the bathroom is a mess of pasta sauce, rogue spaghetti, tears, snot, and rage. Addie tries to kick and punch her way out of Happy’s arms, but it doesn’t work.

“Addie, honey, you really don’t need to be so mad.”

Addie looks absolutely murderous as she sits in the tub. Happy had poured the bath, but Addie had done a complete 180 and sat herself into the tub in her clothing.

“Sirt wet,” Addie says, holding her shirt out. “Fix, Mommy.”

“Will you take a bath?” Happy asks.

Addie blows a raspberry.

“Use your words, Addie,” Happy insists.

“I take bath,” Addie says, looking surprisingly resigned. “No more getti soz.”

“Spaghetti sauce,” Happy corrects.

“Yeah, Mommy,” Addie says, looking annoyed and adorable simultaneously. “Getti soz.”

~

On a good day, a bath takes ten minutes, maximum. On a day like this, Happy’s in the bathroom trying to wrangle Addie for a full hour and she’s the one who’s covered in water by the end of it.

She walks out of the bathroom with Addie wrapped up in a Doc McStuffins towel to see Toby in front of a mostly assembled toddler bed.

“Oh, god, she’s growing up,” Happy realizes. She looks at Addie. “Stop growing up.”

Addie giggles and snuggles into Happy’s shoulder. “Mommy silly.”

“Mommy’s watching her little girl get to be a big girl,” Toby corrects. “And she’s impressed that Daddy did such a good job with the bed.”

“We’ll see if it’s a good job when we finish setting this thing up,” Happy adds. “I’m not too sure how this is going to go without me supervising.”

“Put the baby down and check my work,” Toby says, pointing to her with the hammer. “We can prove that it’s going to look fantastic.”

Happy scoffs. “Oh, yeah, okay. Sure.”

Happy sets Addie on the floor with a ridiculous amount of toys with the main goal that Addie will get so overexcited by the toys that she won’t try to crawl over while Happy and Toby are fiddling with the toddler bed.

It doesn’t work. Addie comes over and sits on Happy’s legs. “What you’re doing, Mommy?” Addie asks.

“What am I doing?” Happy asks, peering over at Addie from underneath the bed. “I’m setting up the bed so you can have a nice big bed that you’re safe in.”

Addie’s face lights up. “I get out and play?” she asks.

“Huh?” Toby asks.

“For sleep, I play,” Addie explains.

“You may not get out of bed to go play when you’re supposed to sleep,” Toby translates. He sits up and smacks his head on the bed frame. Happy watches as his face goes bright red.

“You good, Doc?” she asks, ready to take him to the hospital or give him a drink, whatever’s necessary.

He nods. “Yep,” he croaks out.

“Daddy boo-boo?” Addie asks. She looks over at Happy. “Daddy bonk his head.”

“Yeah, he did,” Happy replies.

“Just a tiny bonk,” Toby explains. “I’m okay.”

“Good, Daddy, my turn.” Addie tries to scramble under the bed, but Happy catches her and slides her back out to the pile of toys.

“Nope,” Happy tells her. “Pick a toy and wait.”

Addie pouts. “iPad,” she demands.

“No iPad,” Toby says firmly. “iPad is for car rides and right after dinner.”

Addie sighs. “Okay,” she mumbles. She grabs three different toys that make a disturbing amount of noise. “I play.”

And play she does. All three toys yodel and sing and scream, and it’s all Happy can do not to lose her mind.

“Why did we give her those toys again?” she asks Toby through gritted teeth.

He shakes his head. “Because fate is cruel,” he replies.

Happy scoots out from under the bed and makes sure the mattress is adjusted, Toby screws in the last few parts, and then –

“There!” Toby exclaims, putting his hands on his hips. “Addie, baby, your bed is all done.”

Addie looks up from where Addie is sitting on the floor, playing with a baby keyboard with the volume turned up as high as possible. Happy didn't even realize Addie knew how to do that. “All done?” she asks.

Toby nods. “All done.”

Addie pushes herself to standing and starts walking over to the bed, but Happy scoops her up. “Whoa there, kid,” Happy says. “Dad’s trying the bed first to make sure it isn’t going to break.”

“You have such little faith in our construction skills?” Toby asks. “For shame, Mommy.” Addie giggles.

“No,” Happy says, “I just don’t trust the design of the crib.” Toby raises his eyebrow. “And our construction skills when it comes to furniture leave a lot to be desired.”

Toby laughs. “Remember that time with the Ikea bookshelves?”

Happy rolls her eyes. “That was because they didn’t give us one of the screws.”

Toby sits down, and the bed holds. “See? All good.” He reclines. And then the bed shifts, making a strange clunking noise as a part of the bed falls. “Or not.”

“I think one of the slats was just unseated,” Happy says. “Here, take your daughter.”

“Daddy, Daddy,” Addie says, reaching out to Toby.

“Okay, great idea,” Toby says, and then Happy realizes that he’s struggling, “but I’m sort of stuck.”

Happy sighs and sets Addie down in the lap of her teddy bear. “Stay there, Addie Grace,” Happy instructs.

With a little fancy footwork, she pulls Toby out of the bed and then adjusts the slat. “I’ll test it this time,” she grins down at Addie, “so that Daddy doesn’t break it again.”

Addie giggles. “No bake, Mommy.”

“Oh, now the two of you are ganging up on me?” Toby asks. “That’s no fair.”

Addie’s grin is toothy and genuine. “Love Daddy,” she reassures him.

He dives onto the floor and wraps her in a hug, blowing a raspberry on her cheek. “I love you, too, baby girl.”

Happy tests the bed and deems it appropriate.

“Alright, Addie,” she says, “come test out your new comfy bed.”

“Same bed,” Addie says, standing up.

“Okay, yes,” Happy concedes. “Technically, it’s the same, but it’s your big girl bed.”

Addie curls up next to Happy. “I like it,” she pronounces. “My bed.”

“Yes it is, Addie,” Happy says, kissing her cheek. “Would you like to take a rest in your bed?”

Addie yawns. “No, Mommy, I not sleepy.”

“Are you sure?”

Addie nods, closing her eyes. “No nap,” she decides. She yawns again.

“Okay, let me get your teddy bears and blankie so you have them while you don’t nap,” Toby says.

Addie’s completely out by the time they have her stuffed animals cuddled up with her. In no time she’s snuggled up in the middle of her bed, the edge of her blanket in her mouth and her wrench in her arms.

“She’s ridiculously cute,” Toby says. “I never thought I’d end up with a baby, let alone one as cute as she is.”

“Well, she’s cuter now that she’s not having a temper tantrum,” Happy says. “Look at this. She’s not freaking out about taking a bath now.”

“That is a very good point,” Toby says. “She really is cuter when she isn’t screaming. And,” he holds up his phone, “when she looks like this.”

Happy takes his phone, looking at the picture. “This is great,” she says. “We’ve got to hang this one up.”

“I’ll print it out right now.” He steps away, then turns back and presses a kiss to Happy’s cheek. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, Doc,” Happy replies, watching him text the picture to their printer. “Hey, remember to put the photo paper in first.”

“Yep, already made that mistake,” Toby says. “Don’t talk to me about it. I already know.”

Happy laughs, watching Addie as she mumbles in her sleep.

“Good night, baby,” Happy murmurs, kissing the top of Addie’s head. “Mom and Dad love you.”

She steps out of the room and closes the door to find Toby in front of her.

“Want the paper copy for your wallet?” He asks. “Because we already used the ink, so,” he shrugs.

“Works for me,” Happy replies, taking the photo and folding it up. She slides it in her pocket.

They hang the picture of Addie covered in spaghetti on their bedroom wall, their daughter with the biggest grin in history up on their wall.

“What happens when she grows up?” Toby asks, pulling Happy close.

“She grows up,” Happy replies.

Toby laughs, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I like how matter of fact you are.”

“Well, what else am I going to say?” Happy asks. “She’s going to turn into a butterfly?”

“I just meant – she’s getting so big so fast. What are we going to do when she’s going to school?”

Happy thinks about it. “Well,” she decides, “Paige will probably get a lot more done in the garage without Addie being cute all over the place.”

Toby laughs. “You’ve got that right. You think we should get her into preschool soon?”

“No,” Happy replies.

“No?” Toby says. “That was rather abrupt.”

“I’m not ready to – she’s still a baby,” Happy says. She doesn’t know how to explain what’s going on in her head. “I want her around us all the time, at least for now. I don’t want…” She trails off. There’s so much she doesn’t want her daughter to experience, so much terror that Happy had that she refuses to let Addie even know about.

“I get it,” Toby says. He kisses her softly, gently, speaking to her with a promise that Happy understands. He’s telling her that he won’t let anything happen to Addie. That they’re on the same page. “No preschool yet.”

Happy nods, closing her eyes. “Let’s go to bed,” she murmurs. “We’ve got work tomorrow.”

“With our kiddo joining us the whole way,” Toby says.


	52. Addie, 17 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's date night for Happy and Toby, with Ralph and Paige babysitting so they get a night and a day to themselves.

“Daddy!” Addie says. “Daddy rhyme with Addie!”

Toby smiles and turns to Happy. “Did you hear that, Mommy?” he says. “Our little genius already knows rhyming!”

“And Mommy rhymes with…” Addie pauses and thinks so hard she sits down, the fluffy skirt of her dress poofing out around her. “Mama and llama but Mommy and Lommy?”

“Close enough, baby,” says Happy. She kisses Addie on the forehead. “Are we all ready to head out?”

Addie scrambles to her feet. “Aunnie Pay?” she asks, barreling into Happy and wrapping her arms around her leg.

“Yes, Auntie Paige,” Happy replies. She reaches down and settles Addie on her hip. She’s getting big fast, but she’s still tiny for not even being eighteen months old. Toby throws the Addie bag over his shoulder.

“Ready to go princess?” Toby asks, kissing Addie.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Addie says.

“After you, my queen,” Toby says, gesturing for Happy to walk to the door.

“You know it’s weird that you call me that,” she says, unable to keep from smiling.

“But I like to,” he says. “Makes me feel like a king.”

“You’re so weird,” Happy says as they walk out to the car.

“Daddy weed,” Addie repeats.

Happy snorts. “Close enough, Addie.”

She squirms and wiggles as Happy wrangles her into that damn car seat and they head to Paige’s apartment. Happy drives as Toby works on making funny faces to Addie in the back seat in her mirror.

“You think we could turn her around yet?” Happy asks. “I get nervous now that she’s big enough to move around.”

“Until she’s two,” Toby says authoritatively. “New studies suggest –”

“Alright, alright,” Happy accepts. “Just – keep an eye on our girl.”

Toby turns to look at her. “Always.”

That’s the moment when Addie shoves her hand in her mouth and panics.

Toby drops an entire container of Cheerios all over the front seat when he tries to help Addie and soothe her, so, when Happy parks, she won’t let him leave until he picks it up.

“Walph!” Addie exclaims when Ralph opens the door. “Walphie Walph!”

“Hi, Addie,” he says. Happy hops out of the car to see him struggling with the car seat buckles.

“It won’t unhook,” he says, looking frustrated.

“Yeah, these things have a stupid setup. I could design a better car seat in my sleep,” Happy says. She presses the button and it snaps open. Addie nearly launches herself at Ralph, catching her foot in the seat and face planting into Ralph’s knee.

Her face screws up in pain before she wails so loudly Ralph slaps his hands over his ears.

“I’m sorry!” he exclaims, looking horrified. “Addie, I’m sorry!”

She can’t respond, tears coursing down her face as Happy holds her close and mutters platitudes and “You’re okay, baby”s into Addie’s ear. She clings to Happy like a lifeline, and Toby, at the sound of tears, darts out of the front seat, and stands next to Happy.

“What happened?” he asks.

Addie wails harder, screaming, “Boo boo!” at the top of her lungs.

Happy looks at Toby over Addie’s dark hair. “This time you made the big deal,” she says. She finally gets a look at Addie’s face and, while it is wet with tears, there’s no blood or bruising. “You can take the wailing child.”

Addie sobs into Toby’s shoulder as he pats her back, and Happy finally notices the expression of terrified guilt on Ralph’s face.

“Did I hurt her?” he asks.

“Oh, god, no, Ralph,” Happy says. “She’s a baby. She was more scared about falling than hitting her face.”

“But it must have hurt!” Ralph says. He looks at his knee like it’s the culprit. “I hurt her.”

“No, she hurt herself by getting overexcited,” Happy clarifies. She pulls Ralph in for a one armed hug. “Don’t worry yourself, kid. She’ll be fine.”

“Yes, she’ll be just fine,” Toby says in a goofy voice. Addie manages a smile. “There’s my girl!”

Happy sighs, feeling relieved. If she’s honest, she was a little terrified something was seriously wrong with Addie. She always is when she hears that wail from Addie – she hates it.

“What’s going on out here?” Paige asks, hands on her hips, a grin on her lips.

“Aunnie Paige!!” Addie says, reaching out for her. Toby keeps a careful grip on her torso as Paige walks over to Addie. “So much for a boo boo,” he mutters to Happy. Addie wiggles with excitement.

“Addie girl!” Paige exclaims, her enthusiasm meeting Addie’s. Paige swings Addie up on her shoulders, her hands securing Addie’s arms.

Addie drums on Paige’s head.

“Well, there goes my hair today,” Paige says. “Come on, Addie girl, let’s get inside.”

Paige swings Addie from her shoulders and into her arms, swinging her into the apartment. Ralph follows behind, making whooshing noises like an airplane.

“For a teenager, he’s pretty cool with being uncool,” Toby says. “Also, I think the Cheerios reproduced.”

Happy looks over to see Toby bent over, his butt sticking up. She can’t help but smack his ass.

He yelps, turning. “What as that for?”

“Nice bum, where you from?” Happy asks.

Toby groans. “You get weird when you’re not around our kid,” he mumbles. “Motherhood did weird things to you.” He grins. “But I kind of like it.”

“What, I’m like this at home,” she replies, leaning against the car.

“Yeah, but we’re in Paige’s apartment parking lot,” Toby says, turning to Happy. “You yelled at me for putting my arm around you a couple of years ago when we were in the garage.”

Happy shrugs. “Maybe you’re right. Motherhood has changed me.”

Toby scoffs. “You’ve got that right.”

Happy laughs and helps him with the Cheerios, dumping them into the car trash bag that Happy now has to admit was a good idea from Toby, and they finally make it inside.

“Took you guys long enough,” Paige says. Addie’s already on the floor, playing with Ralph and one of the Tonka trucks they keep in a basket, just for Addie. Addie keeps rolling it up and down Ralph’s leg, giggling excitedly whenever Ralph pretends to get knocked over.

“Thanks for taking her,” Happy says.

“Oh, I’m leaving too,” Paige says. “Ralph volunteered to babysit while we all do date night.”

“All?” Happy asks, turning to Toby. “All of us?”

He looks baffled. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

Happy watches the night of lazy, slow sex and falling asleep before 8 in the evening fade away like a balloon into the sky.

“Oh, hell no,” Paige corrects. “You people are on your own. I’m going out with Walter and you two,” she waves at them. “You’re doing whatever two nerds do when their kid is out of the house.”

“Then why’d you say all of us?” Happy asks.

“Because I was messing with you,” Paige says pointedly. “It’s much easier to do than you people realize.”

Happy relaxes. “Thank god.” She turns to Ralph. “You sure you can handle a baby for an entire night?”

He shrugs. “She likes me,” he says. As if to prove his point, Addie crawls into his lap and says, “Voom voom, Walphie,” as she rolls the truck up his leg. “My Walphie.” She grins up at Happy. “I like Walphie.”

“Yeah, well, we like him too,” Toby says. He leans down and Addie scrambles to throw her arms around his shoulders.

“Go leave Daddy,” she says, patting his face. “I have fun.”

Happy laughs. “Ouch.”

“Hey, she didn’t even say goodbye to you,” Toby defends.

Happy sits on the floor and Addie toddles into her lap, planting a big kiss on her cheek. “Love Mommy. Leave now.”

“I got an ‘I love you,’” Happy brags.

Ralph groans. “Can you guys stop being weird and go? Mom will be back tonight before eleven,” he shoots Paige a look. “Right?”

She sighs. “It’s like living with a college roommate all over again.”

“I mean,” Ralph says, “technically, I am in college.”

Paige sighs, looking over to Happy and Toby as the two of them laugh. “You think it’s funny now,” she says, waggling her finger, “but just you wait until your kid starts doing this.”

“I don’t know,” Happy says, shrugging. “They look pretty cute now.”

Addie and Ralph are playing, completely disinterested in what everyone else is doing.

“Yeah,” Paige says, folding her arms over her chest. “Just you wait.”

Addie cuddles up in Ralph’s lap, looking content and pleased.

“Bye, baby,” Toby says, waving.

“Yeah, Daddy,” Addie replies. “Bye bye.”

Happy’s got a different kind of spring in her step when they get outside.

“So,” she says. “We’re kidless for a full day.”

“Yeah, we are.” Toby grins at her and takes her hand. “Got any ideas?”

Happy scoffs. “I’ve got a couple.”

The tension is high on the drive home, and the two of them are damned certain that they’re going to jump each other the second they park the car.

“Does this feel like a really long car ride to you?” Toby asks, bouncing his knee. “Because this feels like it’s taking forever.”

“You’re telling me,” Happy says, taking the turn for the exit to their apartment a little too fast. “Stop bouncing your knee.”

“I can’t,” Toby whines. “I’m overexcited.”

Toby and Happy barely get in the front door before they start kissing, hands pulling off each other’s clothes and laughter mixing in with the moans. “It’s so quiet in here,” Happy mumbles against Toby’s lips.

“I know,” Toby says with a grin, “isn’t it great?”

They collapse against each other on the bed and fall together in seconds, taking their time to touch and feel and love. Ever since Addie was born, they haven’t had the time to drag it out, be lazy and lingering and languid.

They also don’t get much of an afterglow anymore, but this time, they do. Toby presses kisses from Happy’s shoulder to her neck, running his fingertips up and down her arm.

“Oh, that was fantastic,” he mumbles. “Have we had sex for two hours before?”

“Probably,” Happy replies, her eyes still closed. She arches into his touch, unable to keep the giddy smile from her face. “But it seemed better this time than any other time.”

Toby laughs against her skin. “You’re telling me.”

Happy rolls over and kisses him, tangling herself in the sheets and Toby’s limbs, and just kisses him. His hands settle on Happy’s lower back. “We should figure out a way to have Addie get a babysitter, like, once a week,” she says in between kisses. “This is nice.”

“Somebody’s feeling a little randy,” Toby says, sliding his hands down to Happy’s ass.

“Oh, don’t be weird,” Happy laughs. “But, I mean. You’re not wrong.”

Toby leans up to kiss her again, threading one hand through the tangled mess of Happy’s hair. “Hey, I’ve got champagne in the fridge,” he murmurs. “Want some?”

Happy nods. “Always.”

He walks back in with two glasses of champagne and a bowl of chocolate covered strawberries.

Happy pushes herself up in bed. “Damn.”

“I know,” Toby says, looking proud of himself. “I figured this would be pretty impressive, right? Romantic?”

“Got to say,” Happy says, reaching out to take her glass, “I am impressed.” She tilts her head up to kiss Toby gently.

He slides down next to her in the bed, their lips still touching.

Happy hums with pleasure, these tiny little delights so nice without worrying about a baby bursting into a romantic moment.

They eat strawberries and chat, not even bothering to get dressed again. They talk about nothing and everything, sleep weighing them slowly but surely as the minutes pass.

Happy yawns. “I was going to suggest round two, but –”

“As much as I want to, I’m going to need a nap first,” Toby insists. “Nothing against you, I’m just,” he yawns. “I’m exhausted. We’re usually in bed by now without two hours of athletic sex.”

“If you think that’s athletic, we’ve got to up our game,” Happy mumbles. She already feels sleep sweeping over her, and the idea that she might not be woken up in the morning makes it feel that much sweeter.

“We’re falling asleep at nine at night during our super romantic night together,” Toby sighs. “We’re an old married couple.”

“Not yet,” Happy replies, her voice unclear even by her own ears. “We’re not even engaged.”

Toby opens one eye and looks over at her. “That’s because you proposed with the most pathetic move in history.”

“At least I’ve proposed!” Happy laughs. She lets her eyes close. “You better get on that.”

“We’ll see,” Toby murmurs. “We’ll see.”

~

Happy wakes up to hear her cell phone ringing, Black Sabbath interrupting the rather pleasant dream she was having about the Caribbean, a bunch of bright blue boozy drinks in a coconut, and a bikini.

She scrabbles for the phone, terrified when she sees Paige’s name. She knows it’s not rational, but she immediately worries that Addie’s sick.

“What?” Happy asks. “What’s happening?”

“Guys, it’s eleven,” Paige says. “Not that I’m complaining about getting to keep Addie longer, but I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

Happy checks her watch. “So we slept for fourteen hours,” she mumbles. “That happened.”

“Not possible,” Toby grumbles. “We couldn’t have.”

“You did,” Paige says. “But, if you guys want to, I can keep the kids here a little longer. Addie and I made pancakes this morning.”

“That sounds good,” Happy says. She yawns.

“Give me that phone,” Toby says. “Hi, Paige. Yeah, do you mind? We kind of – we slept. All night.” He pauses and laughs. “Okay, yes, we will. I promise. We’ll take him for a whole weekend – we’ll go somewhere fun. Fine, Disneyland. We’ll bring him to Disneyland. Tell Addie we say hi and we say I love you. Oh! Hi, baby girl, are you having fun?” He moves the phone and turns it on speaker.

“Mommy! Daddy! I sleep a lot. Waffie go honk honk and Aunnie Pay –” and then Addie devolves into babbling excitement that neither Toby nor Happy can decipher, despite their best efforts.

“Try again, Addie?”

“Aunnie Pay and Waffie are fun,” Addie says.

“I’m very happy to hear that, baby,” Toby says. “Also, Ralphie. Try Ralphie.”

“Walphie,” she repeats.

“Well, she’s halfway there,” Toby mutters.

“Where Mommy?” Addie asks.

“Right here, kiddo,” Happy says. “Glad to hear you’re having such a blast.”

Addie makes a noise like a crash. “Boom!”

“She heard you say blast and made a sound like a blast,” Toby says. “She’s as literal as you are.”

“I take offense to that,” Happy says. “Go have more fun, Addie Grace. Love you!”

“Love you Mommy Daddy,” Addie says. “Bye bye.”

She hangs up.

“How does she know how to hang up Paige’s phone?” Happy asks Toby. “She has a completely different phone than we do.”

“Honestly I don’t know and I don’t want to know,” Toby says, shaking his head. “But do you want to go out and get breakfast?”

“Nah,” Happy says. “I’m making waffles. Sound good?”

Toby flops over and hugs Happy. “I love you.”

“I know.”

Toby laughs. “Okay, Han Solo.”

“If I’m Han Solo, then my truck is the millennium falcon,” Happy decides. “And you’re my Princess Leia.”

“I consider it an honor,” Toby says, kissing her cheek. “I would look great in that bikini.”


	53. Addie, 18 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter is being annoying, which would be normal except - it's not. Something's going on and Happy's not sure what the result is going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: emetophobia.

“Hey, Hap, there’s something wrong with the water pressure,” Walter says, coming down the stairs.

“Did you, I don’t know,” Happy says, not even looking up from the project she’s working on, “check the filter? Like I told you to last time?”

“I can never unscrew it!” Walter says, and he’s almost whining. It’s uncharacteristic and annoying, but not unheard of with Walter. When it comes to mechanical stuff, Walter tends to feel inadequate.

Happy groans. “Fine. I’ll check it.”

Happy turns off the water in the building and cranks off the white container, the extra water splashing all over her shoes.

“Goddamn it,” Happy grumbles. “None of you are allowed to do this next time. This filter is disgusting.” She dumps the excess water into the sink in order to pull out the yellowish brown filter. “Disgusting,” she repeats.

“It’s a water filter!” Walter argues. “It’s going to be gross.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll have to get a new one.” Happy shakes the filter out in the sink. “This is completely useless now. It’s full of silt.” She shakes it as some of the silt drips off the filter. “Even hitting it with the hose wouldn’t make it useable.”

“I’ll come with you to get a new filter,” Walter says, a little too quickly.

Happy raises an eyebrow. “What now?”

“I’ll come with,” Walter repeats. “I should figure out how to do it on my own, just in case you’re not here to fix the filter next time.”

Happy’s still wary, but she concedes, dropping the dirty filter in the sink.

“Fine,” Happy says. “But I’m driving.”

Walter makes a half smile that Happy can’t really translate, but she lets it slide.

“Hey, we have to go to the Home Depot on the other side of LA,” he says.

“We what?” Happy asks. She chances a look at him as she stops at a red light, and he’s making that weird face of his when he gets uncomfortable. “Walter, what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” he says, a little too quickly. “And the Home Depot down the street doesn’t have the best filter model available.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Oh, sure, like you know what the best filter model is.”

Walter rattles off the complicated filter name like he’s reading it. “Okay, fine,” Happy concedes. “We’ll go all over hell and creation to find the damn filter. Just to please you.”

Walter looks relieved. “Thank you.”

Forty minutes of extra traffic makes it an hour and a half long trip with Walter yammering on in the passenger seat about how many ways he could redesign the Home Depot website to make it more user friendly, to the point where Happy starts to tally each time he says, “inefficient,” and decides to take a shot at home for each one, until the tally tops twelve and she realizes she’d probably die because they still have another ten or twenty minutes left in the drive.

Finally, they pull into the parking lot. “We’re here,” Happy says, interrupting Walter’s rant about the customer service page’s flaws.

“Oh, good,” Walter says. “Also, I found another set of filters we should look at.”

“Are you kidding me?” Happy says. “Trust me. I know which filter to get.”

Walter looks down at his phone, and then back at Happy. “But we might not choose the right one if we don’t do enough research.”

“We’ve been using the same brand since you got that garage,” Happy says, feeling exhausted and it’s only noon. Walter is more of a headache than Addie’s ever been. “We’re fine.”

“But look!” Walter shoves his phone in her face.

“Why are you showing me what I’m guessing is text messages?” Happy asks. Before her eyes can focus, Walter pulls the phone away again, scrambles something on his phone, and shoves it back in her face.

“These filters all have better reviews that the one we’ve been using.”

“Because they’re for smaller water pumps,” Happy says slowly. “And I still can’t read something that’s a centimeter away from my face. What the hell is up with you, Walter?”

He coughs. “I – I am unsure of what you mean.”

“Do I need to punch you in the face to get an answer, or what?” Happy asks, taking a step toward him. He takes a hesitant step backward.

“I don’t think that would be necessary, no.” He bumps into a display of duct tape. “I think I should –” His last sentence is cut off by the ring of his cell phone. “Oh, good,” he sighs, answering. “This is Walter.”

Happy watches Walter walk away as he speaks on the phone, low and speedy. It sounds strangely urgent, like something is wrong. And now, now she’s worried.

“Okay, O’Brien, cut the bullshit,” she demands. “I want to go back to the garage now. Screw the water filter. We’re just grabbing the one you spent too long looking up when we left.”

“Yes, that’s a good idea,” Walter says, far too quickly. “We’re going back to the garage. That’s a good idea.” He grabs the filter. “This one, right?”

Happy nods. “What the hell is going on with you?”

“I suppose I might have a bit of a headache,” he says. He frowns, then rests his hand on the top of his head. “Ouch.”

“Convincing,” Happy says with an eye roll. “You’re paying for this thing.”

“Yes,” Walter says. “And then we will go back to the garage.”

“You don’t need to keep repeating that.” Happy knows, at this point, that she isn’t going to get much more out of Walter. Whomever he’s keeping a secret for, it’s locked in. It would take physical violence and threats against his precious car to get an answer out of him.

The car ride home is nearly unbearably awkward. Walter keeps checking his phone and making awkward small talk, which is so unlike him that Happy starts feeling antsy and itchy.

“Would you chill out?” she finally exclaims as they take the exit for the garage. “You’ve spent five minutes talking about the best combinations of pizza toppings and why they work gastronomically. In case you haven’t realized yet, I don’t care!”

Walter nods. “I made that connection when I began speaking.”

“Then why didn’t you stop?”

“Because I didn’t want to say anything I shouldn’t.”

“What shouldn’t you say?” Happy asks. “Oh, god, I don’t want to know. Never mind. Does this have to do with some late April Fool’s Day prank? Because you and Toby are not coming anywhere near what I did to you guys. Plus, I had the kid on my side. You can’t beat Addie.”

“You really can’t,” Walter agrees.

“We’re listening to music,” Happy says, leaning over and turning the radio on. “I can’t listen to you babbling about Hawaiian vs. Meat Lover’s for another minute.”

The last ten minutes of the drive is silence, save for random pop songs that Happy doesn’t recognize.

“Alright, we’re here,” Walter says, throwing open the door before Happy’s even gotten the car in park. “Have a good day, Happy. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Don’t you want to –” Happy jolts when Walter slams the door, nearly dropping the filter, “ – put the filter in?” She sighs. “What the fuck is wrong with men?”

She grabs her wallet and her phone, shoves them in her pocket, and carries the filter into the garage.

It’s dark, except for candles all over the place.

“What the –?”

“Hi, Mommy,” Addie says, toddling out from the Addie Space. Her voice is unusually quiet. “Got a su-pize.”

“A surprise?” Happy asks. “Really?”

Addie nods. When she takes a few steps closer, Happy sees a funny look on her face. “What’s the surprise, Addie Grace?”  

Addie wrinkles her nose. “Daddy has – ” she pauses. “Daddy has surprise for you, Mama.”

That’s when Happy gets worried. Addie only calls her Mama when she isn’t feeling well, when she’s scared or sick or sleepy.

“Addie, baby, what’s going on?” Happy asks, frowning. “Are you okay?”

“Mama, I –” Addie makes a strange noise, almost like a hiccup. “I gotta –” She makes the noise again.

“Addie?”

She opens her mouth to speak and promptly vomits all over Happy’s jeans and boots. Happy watches as Addie goes from uncomfortable to shocked to miserable in seconds, bursting into tears.

Happy pulls her in close and yanks off her own hoodie, using it to clean Addie’s face. She’s using every ounce of self control not to sympathy vomit – puke has never been something she can handle well. “Shh, baby, calm down.”

“Mama, I wuined it,” Addie cries, dropping her head against Happy’s shoulder. “I wuined it all!”

“What do you mean?” Happy asks.

Addie curls up in Happy’s arms. “I wrecked Daddy’s surprise!”

Toby rushes in, one pant leg ripped half off, the edge of his hat singed, with something that’s either blood or tomato sauce streaked across his shirt. Happy hopes it’s the latter.

“Baby girl, oh no!” Toby exclaims. “Are you okay?”

“Daddy, I sick,” she whimpers. “I wuined it.”

“You ruined nothing, sweetheart,” he says, putting a hand on her forehead. “Do you still feel sick? Do you feel better?”

“No!” Addie wails. “I wuined it.”

“Okay, more specific,” Toby mutters. “Addie, baby, does your tummy feel better?”

Addie sniffles, wiping her tears and nose on Happy’s sleeve. “Tummy better.”

“That’s so great!” Toby says gently. “I’m glad your tummy feels better. Why didn’t you tell me you had a tummy ache?”

She sniffles again, looking unbelievable sweet. It’s only then that Happy realizes that she’s in her favorite pink dress, her hair in pigtails, and wearing her ruby slippers.

“Mama’s,” Addie mumbles.

“What’s the surprise?” Happy asks. She finally sits down, doing her best to avoid the baby puke, and pulls Addie into her lap. “Is everything okay?”

Toby sighs, sitting down next to Happy. “Everything was supposed to be amazing.”

“Were the candles related?”

Toby nods.

“And Addie being in her favorite dress?”

“My spe-sal dress, Mama,” Addie mumbles, her face buried in Happy’s chest. “My pretty spe-sal dress.”

“You look adorable, sweetie,” Happy says. She rocks Addie, who finally starts to settle in her arms. Happy turns to Toby. “So?”

Toby says something so quietly and so mumbled that Happy can’t even figure out what he was trying to say.

“What?”

Toby sighs, dropping his head between his knees. “I was trying to propose.”

Happy blinks a couple of times, trying to be sure of what she just heard. “You were trying to what?”

“Propose,” Toby repeats. “Happy, I love you. You and Addie are the most important things in my life, so I figured Addie had to be part of a proposal or else it wouldn’t count.” He reaches out and rests a hand on Addie’s head. “So me and Walter and Addie worked together to come up with this big plan to get you out of the garage so Addie and I could set up.”

“You didn’t let her near the candles, right?” Happy interrupts.

“Who do you think I am, Walter?” Toby asks. “No, I did not let our toddler daughter who can barely run five feet without falling over go anywhere near candles. Come on.”

“Sorry,” Happy says, hands up. “It’s been a weird day.”

“Anyway, I made her some noodles with sauce, spilled it all over me,” he gestures to his shirt, “but when I called Walter to ask him to delay longer, he said you were about to kill him and he had run out of time.”

“He’s got that right,” Happy scoffs. “He’s incredibly annoying when he’s part of a clandestine mission. Don’t involve him next time.”

“Yeah, I should have asked Paige. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Toby takes off his hat and runs a hand through his hair. “But I think Addie ate the pasta too fast because she was excited, and, while she was supposed to be doing her part, I was in the middle of changing into a different shirt. And then I heard her yack, and,” he gestures to the mess that is the garage. “This happened. And now I’m wearing a pair of pants that I ripped on the edge of the stove, a shirt covered in marinara sauce, and more baby puke than I really want to think about.”

“Yeah, we should start to fix that, but this one is asleep.” Happy leans down. “Addie?”

“Not sleep, Mama,” Addie mumbles. “I so sick.”

“You’re okay now, sweetheart,” Happy says, kissing her forehead. “No more tummy troubles?”

Addie shrugs. “I so sick in my heart.” She taps her chest. “I sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, baby girl!” Toby says. “You did exactly what I hoped. And Mommy still loves me, right, Mommy?”

Happy nods. “I love you both even more now.”

Toby starts cleaning while Happy changes out of her completely destroyed outfit, dropping it all in the grimy garage sink where she usually cleans her tools. She steals some clothes from Toby that he keeps in the Addie Space – she really needs to start doing that – and changes Addie into a new diaper, a tee shirt that reads, “Mama Got Swag in the Diaper Bag” that Toby thought was funny, and settles her down on the couch with her purple blanket, one of the teddy bears Cabe got her for her birthday, and another blanket for warmth.

“We’re just going to pick up, okay, baby girl?” Happy says quietly. “We’re right here.”

Addie nods, sitting up against the big, white teddy bear. “I got Betty Teddy.”

Happy and Toby and in the middle of cleaning when the door to the garage flies open.

“I hear somebody’s got some news to –” she stops dead in her tracks, and it’s only then that Happy realizes they never blew out the candles.

“What in the holy hell happened in here?” Paige asks, looking horrified. Happy has to let it slide – it is the weirdest sight this garage has ever seen. Addie’s sitting in a diaper and a tee shirt, blanket wrapped around her shoulders, with the biggest pout in history on her face. Toby’s his own personal version of disaster with the addition of being surrounded by disgusting paper towels, and Happy’s got a pair of his sweat pants on.

“I tried to propose and then Addie got sick,” Toby deadpans. “Clearly.”

Paige sighs. “You guys suck at this whole romance thing.”

“You and Walter danced around each other for two years being idiots,” Happy shoots back. “We at least had a baby.”

Paige shrugs. “Yes, you did. And she’s wonderful.” Paige sits next to Addie. “Hey, Addie girl, how are you feeling?”

“Aunnie Pay, I am sick,” Addie says pointedly. She sticks out her lower lip further, pouting with just enough emphasis that she looks unbelievably cute. “So sick.”

“Oh, come here, sweetie.” Paige wraps Addie in a big hug. Addie slumps against her shoulder.

“So sick,” Addie repeats, and Toby leans over and kisses her on the cheek.

“You need anything, baby girl?” he asks. “Or do you want to go naptime?”

“No nap,” Addie insists, turning and reaching up for him. “I snuggle.”

Toby takes her, standing up. “We’ll snuggle.” He sends Happy a smile, some sort of apology in its shadow, and Happy finishes mopping the floor with Paige’s help.

“Thanks,” Happy says, dumping the last of the disgusting paper towels away. She tosses the trash out the back door and into the dumpster.

“No problem,” Paige says, and she looks like she means it. “If I had somebody to help when Ralph got sick, my life would have been a lot easier. Plus,” she smiles, “your kid is cute.”

“She really is,” Happy replies. “Otherwise I would probably be unhappy about my pants getting puked on.” She pulls at the far-too-big pair of sweatpants she’d stolen from Toby. “These are terrible.”

“They’re ten years old, so sue me,” Toby says, walking back in with a sleeping Addie on his shoulder. “And she passed out.” He settles Addie in her pack and play, resting her blanket on top of her gently.

“I’ll give you two a minute,” Paige says. Her smile is knowing.

Toby and Happy fall on the couch next to each other in silence. Happy looks over at him.

“You got something to say, Doc?” she asks, trying not to laugh.

He drops his head back against the couch and doesn’t even react when his hat falls off. “Happy, that went so wrong,” he whines. “Every single thing went wrong – everything!”

“I’m sure it wasn’t everything,” Happy insists.

“Our daughter threw up on you, I messed up all parts of both baking and cooking, Paige walked in before I was even halfway done with the plan, and Addie ruined your favorite jeans.” He gives her a pointed look. “Happy. That was the worst proposal in history.”

She shrugs, unable to keep from grinning at him. “It could have been worse.”

“How?!” he exclaims, sitting up. “How could that possibly have gone worse?”

“I could have said no.” She shrugs. “But I didn’t even have a chance to answer, so that’s kind of a moot point.”

Toby shifts and pulls out a box. “I think the mood’s a little wrong, but,” he opens it, “what do you think?”

It looks like a lugnut with a gem in the center. It’s a little weird and a lot unconventional.

Happy loves it.

“I think it’s pretty awesome,” she says, plucking it out of the box and sliding it on her finger.

“Is that a yes?” Toby asks. “Do I start planning my wedding tux?”

“It’s a placeholder,” Happy clarifies, “until we can do this proposal thing the right way.” She looks down at her hand. The ring looks right on her finger.

“That’s pretty sentimental of you,” Toby says, nudging her shoulder with his. “Who would have thought Miss Happy Quinn would want something so frivolous as a formal proposal.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “I missed out on a lot of milestones,” she replies. “I guess I just want something like a proposal to be, I don’t know, normal.”

Toby nods. “I’ll get it right next time,” he promises. “Believe me, next time is going to be –” he makes an explosion noise, “like, mind. Blown.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Happy replies. She leans in and kisses Toby, getting lost in it until she hears a familiar voice wail, “Mama!”

“Busted,” Toby sighs, pulling away. “Sick baby needs you.”

Happy presses a last quick kiss to Toby’s lips as she stands. “I’m on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever since I wrote this back in probably January/February this has been one of my favorite chapters. I hope you liked it as well!


	54. Addie, 20 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the past comes back with an echo worse than the initial hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: gun violence, discussion of guns

There’s a strange, tense vibe in the garage when Happy and Toby walk in, Addie resting on Happy’s shoulder. Walter doesn’t even acknowledge Addie like he usually does, with a quick math question or a rhyming activity.

He doesn’t even look up from his computer.

“What’s up with him?” Toby asks Paige. He hands her a coffee.

She frowns, her eyes on him. It’s only then that Happy realizes just how similar Paige’s expressions are to Toby’s. She’s not sure she likes it.

Paige shakes her head slowly. “No idea,” she replies. “Keep an eye on him while I’m out today, will you?”

“Any time,” Toby replies.

Sylvester, Cabe, and Paige make their way to each of their stations, but Walter’s demeanor doesn’t change. Happy, though, gets lost in her work until hunger starts to distract her. Addie spent her time in Toby’s lap, doodling while Toby types. Happy’s used to getting into this kind of focus – she figures Walter’s just doing what they always do, that is, zoning out.

That is, until she feels somebody tap her shoulder.

“Have you looked at Walter recently?” Toby mutters in Happy’s ear as she throws together a sandwich.

“No,” Happy replies, wiggling her eyebrows. “Have you?”

Toby gives her a look. “Not like that, you weirdo.” He points to Walter. “His shoulders have been abnormally tense all day, and every time one of us talks to him he practically jolts. Something’s wrong, more than what we thought.”

“Something’s always wrong with Walter,” Happy says with an eye roll. “Should we be worried?”

“I don’t know,” Toby says slowly. He walks over to Addie and picks her up out of her pack and play and she, mercifully, fell asleep after her third Transformers coloring book page.

“And you picked up Addie because?”

“I don’t know,” Toby replies. He’s quiet, pensive in the way he presses his lips to Addie’s forehead. “Something – something doesn’t seem right.”

“It’s fine,” Happy says, shoving half of her sandwich in his mouth. “Calm down and eat.”

Toby stares at her in disbelief. Happy grabs Addie, resting her against her shoulder, and Toby takes the sandwich out of his mouth.

“Usually you kiss me to shut me up,” he grumbles. “I like this way a lot less.”

“Yeah, well, we’re at work,” Happy replies with a tilt to her head. “So you get a sandwich.”

Now that Toby’s mentioned it, though, Happy’s got an eye on Walter. He still hasn’t settled since the morning, a certain instability settled on his shoulders that’s forcing his back ramrod straight, his eyes locked on his computer.

Addie makes a noise like a kitten when she wakes up and looks up at Happy.

“Mommy, I have sammich?” she asks, mumbling a little bit. .

Toby laughs. “Gets picked up and the first thing she does is ask for food,” he shakes his head. “Definitely my kid.”

“I’d say it’s clearer in the eyes,” Happy replies, but Addie leans forward and takes a bite out of the sandwich Toby’s holding. “Or maybe just in the personality.”

“Daddy sammich,” Addie says. “Yum.”

“Did you just eat me sandwich?” Toby exclaims, his goofy expression delighting Addie. “You just ate my sandwich!”

Addie giggles and nods. “My sammich, Daddy!”

“You little rascal!” Toby darts in and swoops Addie up in his arms, and the whole garage is filled with her giggles. Happy can’t help but smile as she eats the half sandwich left, watching Toby spin Addie around like a top. Paige and Sly are watching them, Cabe has joined in on the dance, but Walter’s eyes are still locked on the computer screen.

Happy walks over to him. “What’s up, boss man?” she asks.

Walter startles so much that Happy hears the thunk of his knee slamming into his desk. “What?”

“Are you okay?” she asks. “You’re – off.”

“I’m quite fine, thank you.” Happy’s a mechanic, not a psychiatrist, but even she can tell that’s a lie.

“You sure?”

He looks up at her. “I’ll come to you when I know there’s something to come to you about,” he says, and it’s just vague enough to freak her out.

The day passes without incident, the garage falling silent as Addie plays with her toys until she falls asleep. She’s halfway to her best design yet of a security camera they plan to use on the garage when Happy looks up and realizes the rest of the team is gone.

“Where’d everybody go?” she asks, pulling off her headphones. She looks over into the pack and play to see Addie, still asleep and content, in her pack and play, her arms curled around her purple blanket.

“Paige and Walter went to get lunch, and Cabe brought Sly to check the numbers on some fancy government project.” He grins. “We’ve got the whole garage to ourselves. Whatever could we do?”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Weirdo. We’re still at work.”

“I was making a joke,” Toby says pointedly. “But I can still get a couple of smooches in until other people get back.”

A couple tiny kisses turn into some that are a little mind blowing, and Happy ends up straddling Toby in his desk chair before much time passes at all.

“How could you have known this was a dream of mine?” he asks, tucking her hair behind her ear where it fell out of her ponytail. “You really are the perfect woman.”

She leans in for another kiss, but they’re interrupted by the door swinging open.

“You guys suck,” Toby calls as Happy scrambles off his lap and tries to look presentable. Toby’s hair is a mess, so she smooths it down before turning to see which of their team mates is walking into the garage. “This is the first time any of you have ever been early.”

And then it’s like somebody poured cold water down the back of her shirt as she sees the sly grin and glasses.

“Hey, you two,” says Mark Collins, walking in like he owns the place. The smile on his face curdles in Happy’s stomach. “It looks like somebody’s pretty happy. Does Walter know?”

“Where the hell did you come from?” Happy asks, and she starts stepping closer to Addie’s pack and play. Unfortunately, all it does is draw Collins’ attention.

His eyes widen with something akin to glee, and it’s the most terrifying thing Happy’s seen in her life.

“Look at this,” Collins says. “You two finally settled for each other.” He pouts. “Nobody else would have you, right, Happy? So you got stuck with the glorified fortune teller?”

“Walk away, Collins,” Happy near growls. She steps toward him, ready to hit him until he gets out.

That’s when he draws the gun. “Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he says, voice too high pitched and positive for the weapon he wields. “Wouldn’t want to accidentally,” he looks down into Addie’s pack and play, and Happy feels ready to commit murder, “wake up the baby.” His grin widens. “Wow, you two really did get busy.” He looks Happy up and down. “And you got back your pre-baby body. Always knew you’d realize you weren’t as smart as the rest of us.” He nods at her. “All you really had were your looks, you know?”

Happy feels Toby stand next to her. “Seriously, Collins,” he says. “Just leave. I don’t want this to get messy.”

“Get messy?” Collins laughs. “Oh, really? You know when it got messy? When your girlfriend,” he points the gun at Happy, “got in the way of me and Walter.” He notices the ring on her finger. “Oh, or wife. Happy Curtis, right?”

“I didn’t get in the way of you and Walter,” Happy says, surprised she can keep her voice steady at all. “I saved your useless life, and Walter’s life.” She tries not to grind her teeth. “If it hadn’t been for me, you both would have worked yourself to death – you guys were stuck in your own heads.”

“Right,” Collins says, and the way he’s nodding is too casual, too flippant. “Or, maybe, we would have made a breakthrough you couldn’t handle.”

Happy shrugs. “Maybe I’ll just break you.”

Collins trains the gun directly at her heart. “I think,” he begins, “you’ve been spending too much time with the doctor here. Wordplay was always his thing.”

Happy makes another step toward him, and he shakes his head.

“Nuh-uh,” he says, enjoying this all too much. “Another step and I might have to do something drastic.” He steps closer to Addie, and Happy can feel her heart freeze in her chest. “I’ve got to say, she’s cute.” He grins at Happy. “Would have sucked if she’d gotten Curtis’ genes, right? No fun having an ugly baby.”

Happy swallows back the rage she wants to spit. “You touch her, you die,” Happy snaps, staring at Collins with a death glare.

“I’m not going to do anything to the little cherub,” Collins says, kicking his feet against the floor. “Just – taking my time to get to know the new team member.”

Happy looks at the gun Collins has trained on her. “You don’t have the guts to fire.”

“Oh, I don’t?” he asks, waving it around. “Maybe not. But I’m not sure you should trust somebody with a gun not to fire when your kid is in the room.” He twirls the gun almost gracefully until it’s pointed directly at the pack and play where Addie is sleeping. “Especially when they’re, how did you put it?” He lowers the gun to exactly where Addie is cuddled around her blankie. “I think you’ve called me crazy, psychotic,” he nods over to Toby, “you once said you’d rather die than let me in the room with any children.” He grins. “Want to make good on that promise?”

Happy feels the blood drain from her face, and before she knows what she’s doing she’s pulled her pocket knife out of her back pocket while Collins has his back turned, looking down at Addie.

“Don’t,” Toby whispers, and she hadn’t even noticed he was right behind her. He pushes the knife into her back pocket. “Get Addie. And,” he sighs, “ignore what I say.”

Happy nods. “Go.”

Toby’s lips meet the top of her head before he moves, walking around the other side of the desk so that Collins’ attention is as far away from Addie as possible. Happy takes a step past the desk, because the sooner she can get to Addie, the sooner she can stop this feeling of pure terror from working its way up her throat. “Collins,” Toby says, hands in the air, “look, you know how she gets.”

Happy exhales as Collins turns around from where he was looking down at Addie. Happy prays to a god she knows isn’t there that she’s asleep, that she’ll never have to memorize his face. “Ooh,” Collins says, “trying your behaviorist thing on me?”

As much as she hates it, Happy feels relief when the gun is trained on Toby and not Addie anymore. Because Toby can handle it. Addie can’t.

Collins starts walking toward Toby. “You’ve never had any sense, have you?” he asks, waving the gun in Toby’s direction. Toby is calm and collected, his demeanor too put together for the moment, and Happy wonders what he’s doing. But she trusts him to get them out of this, because, other than brute force and boiling rage, Happy’s got no way to take this down.

Toby walks toward Collins. “I don’t know,” he replies. “I think I had enough sense to get Walter to leave you.”

“You didn’t do that!” Collins exclaims. He laughs. “That was Walter’s plan. And you,” he loses focus, is too close to Toby. But, Happy realizes, his hand is off the trigger, Toby can’t see it, he’s too close to the situation. But Happy’s aware of it, and she’s ready to act.

So, as Collins says, “you, Toby, are nothing,” Happy dives toward Collins, snaps his arm to the side so his fingers twitch and the gun falls to the floor. Happy drops the magazine, and shakes out the bullet, smacking Collins in the head with the butt of the gun so he collapses to the ground.

It happens in seconds, but it feels like a million years have passed before she hears Toby cooing at Addie and holding her in his arms.

“You,” says Toby, “are a freaking superhero.” He kisses Addie’s sleeping forehead. “Mommy’s our superhero, baby girl.”

“You’ve said that before,” Happy says, picking up the magazine and shoving in the gun. She pulls it back to cock it, trains it on Collins’ face, and kicks him so he’s on his back. He’s groaning, half conscious, but with her boot on his throat, he won’t be going anywhere any time soon.

“Yeah, but that,” he wraps the blanket around Addie’s shoulders, “that was the most impressive thing I’ve ever seen.”

Happy shrugs, and in that moment takes a look at the situation. Her voice is shaking, her body feels cold, but her hands are statue steady, her fingers trained on the trigger. She has a sudden realization that if Collins moves, she will fire. No hesitation. “Call Cabe, Walter, anybody,” Happy says. “I don’t trust myself around him.”

“Okay,” says Toby, using his shrink voice. “I’ll take the gun and the psychopath, you take your daughter and cool down. Sweetheart,” he says, and for the first time Happy takes her eyes off of Collins to see Addie’s face asleep against Toby’s shoulders, hands curled around her blankie, “take the baby.”

“Yeah,” Happy says, exhaling. Toby takes the gun as Addie falls into Happy’s arms, and Happy sighs, kissing the top of Addie’s head. “Yeah, I’ve got her.”

“I’m so sorry, Addie Grace,” Happy says, holding her close. “We’re okay now.”

“It’s probably bad, how much I want to shoot him,” Toby says as Happy sends a “garage 911” text to the team and starts dialing Cabe’s number. He sighs. “Would you believe I’ve never fired a gun before?”

“Yeah,” Happy replies. “Would you believe I have?”

Toby’s eyes flicker over to her briefly. “Actually, I would.”

“Gallo,” comes Cabe’s gruff voice.

“Oh, thank god,” Happy says. “Get here now. Collins pointed a gun at our kid and now Toby and I are basically arguing about who gets to kill him.”

“People need to realize that threatening Addie is like putting a gun to their own head,” Cabe grumbles. “I’ll be there in five.”

“Calling Walter next,” Happy adds. Addie stirs. “No, no, baby girl, go to sleep, okay?”

It’s at that moment that Paige walks in.

“What the hell?!” she exclaims. She drops the coffee in her hands, doesn’t seem to notice the way it splashes against her shoes. She rushes over, staring down at Collins like she’s watching a horror movie. “What happened?”

“Fill you in later,” Happy says. “Take the baby. Get her – out of the way, I don’t care, just,” she takes a breath to steady herself, “if Collins gains consciousness, Toby and I might do something stupid.”

Paige stares at her, then holds out her arms. “I’ve got her.”

Happy presses a kiss to Addie’s forehead but hands her to Paige. If there’s one thing she knows, it’s that she is not going to make Addie witness what would happen if Collins wakes up.

Paige is calm and collected when Addie settles in her arms, and she walks directly upstairs after grabbing one of Addie’s water bottles from the fridge.

The rage floods back over Happy and she stalks over to Collins and Toby.

“I can’t look away,” Toby says. “Because if I do, he might –”

“I get it,” Happy says, swallowing. She dials Walter’s phone.

“911?” he asks when she answers. “I’m on my way.”

“It’s Collins,” Happy says. “Toby and I are about to kill him.”

There’s silence on the other end. “I’ll be there soon.” And he hangs up.

“Maybe Cabe should bring backup,” Toby says, “because I’m not sure how in control I am.”

“Honestly, I would have shot if Addie hadn’t been so close,” Happy says. “So you’re doing better than I would be.”

Collins stirs again, and Happy puts her boot back on his neck.

“Hap,” Toby says calmly. “Hap, not so hard.”

Happy nods, loosening the grip. “Is that Doctor Toby or Dad Toby?”

“Oh, Dad Toby wants you to stomp on his skull,” Toby assures. “Doctor Toby knows that any more pressure on his windpipe and he’ll be down for the count.”

The silence before the rest of the team walks in as Happy and Toby keep their eyes on Collins. Happy’s half daring him to wake up, to make a move. Because if he strikes first, she’ll strike last.

Cabe and Cooper skid into the driveway five minutes later, followed by Walter and Sly seconds later, and the team just stares.

“Kid,” Cabe says gently, “give me the gun.”

“My hands cramped,” Toby says, handing it to Cabe. It takes a minute for them to untangle his fingers.

Collins starts waking up, and Happy immediately starts backing away.

“Where are you –”

“If I’m here when he says anything stupid, I’m going to kill him,” Happy says, her hands in the air. “Literally kill him. I can’t be here.”

“And that’s our cue,” Toby says. “To the top floor of the garage with us.”

They block out the chatter from downstairs by reading Addie stories even as she sleeps, and filling Paige in on what happened in the rest of the day.

“He just showed up?” she asks.

“Walter would have been here on any other day,” Toby says. “In a skewed way, it made sense. If Walter was here, he would have just killed him. But we were here,” his face falls, “we weren’t worth killing, but taunting us was too much fun for him to resist.”

“Still want to kill him,” Happy grumbles.

Sylvester walks upstairs. “He’s gone,” he says, looking relieved. “Cooper and Cabe locked him in the back of a scary looking SUV with Walter, and it looked like Cabe was going to be a little angry.”

Happy finally relaxes, and that’s when Addie startles herself awake.

“Hey, beautiful,” Toby says, bopping her nose. “How’s my favorite girl?”

“Hi, Daddy,” Addie says, grabbing Toby’s hand. She sits up, wiggling her feet. “No bed?”

“We’re up visiting Uncle Walter’s room,” Happy lies through her teeth. “Just for a few minutes. He and Pops were busy and Auntie Paige will check if they’re done?”

Paige looks over. “Oh, it’s all done!” Paige says cheerfully. “Hey, I have a great idea!”

“I-D?” Addie asks. “Daddy?”

Toby laughs as she crawls into his lap. “No, it’s i-dee-a. Like the thing in your head.

“Oh,” Addie says, “eye-dee-yuh. Yes.” She turns to Paige. “Daddy makes me say my words long.”

“Oh,” Paige replies. ‘Then we will say our words long.”

Addie grabs Toby’s arms, one by one, and makes him hug her. “Snuggles, Daddy.”

“Of course, baby girl,” Toby says. He holds her close, but it’s almost protective alongside the love, like he’s desperate to keep her safe. “I love you.”

“Love you more, Daddy,” Addie says. “Dinner now? I’m hungry.”

“In a minute, baby girl,” he replies. Happy watches as Toby gently and carefully rocks Addie. She looks confused for a moment.

“Daddy sad,” she says. “Daddy, don’t be sad.”

He smiles at her, and Happy recognizes it as the smile he shoots her whenever he’s scared and doesn’t want to show it. “I’m not,” he replies, “I’m just so lucky to be your Daddy.”

Addie studies his face for a moment, then throws her arms around his neck. “I’m lucky to be your baby,” she replies, pressing her face into his neck. She giggles. “Daddy’s Addie!”

Happy relaxes more to know that they’re both okay. She doesn’t even want to entertain the thought of what she would have done to Collins if he had woken Addie up, let alone what she would have done if he tried to hurt her.

“I’ll tell you want,” says Paige, her sunshine grin bleeding into her voice, “why don’t we do something special for dinner.”

Addie’s head flies up, nailing Toby in the chin.

“Ow,” Toby says, making a ridiculous face. “Ka-thunk.”

Addie takes a moment to gauge the reactions around the room, the way she does whenever she has a fall, and then giggles. “Ka-thunk.” She turns to Paige. “Aunnie Paige, what’s your i-dee-uh?”

“Super special Addie girl dinner?” Paige asks.

Addie’s eyes widen. “Mac and cheese and peas?” she asks, practically bouncing on Toby’s leg. “Super special!”

Paige looks over to Toby and Happy, who nod. “That sounds great,” Toby says. “Addie, baby, go with Auntie Paige for a minute?”

Addie launches herself out of Toby’s lap and over to Paige, who scoops her up. Paige gives them a reassuring smile, and they give her one back. Addie is safe and giddy in Paige’s loving arms, Happy knows that.

Which is why, the second they’re out of earshot, she clambers to Toby and wraps her arms around him.

“That was worse than the Beijing thing,” she says. She buries her face into the crook of Toby’s neck, concentrating on the way his arms hold her close, hold her safely. She’s okay. Addie’s okay. Toby’s okay.

She repeats that like a mantra to control her breathing, and Toby’s saying something out loud that’s similar.

“We’re okay,” Toby switches to, when Happy’s breathing grows more and more ragged, the panic pulling her apart at the seams. She grabs Toby tighter.

“I,” she says, “never want to feel that way again.”

“Me either,” Toby replies. “Happy, I was so scared – I was so scared,” he says, and she finally hears the break in his voice, and she looks up to see a familiar, shattering terror in his eyes, one she’d only seen before now in the mirror.

“Hey, Toby,” she says, grabbing his face in her hands. “Look – look at me, Toby.” His eyes close. “No, look here.”

His eyes open. “I see him standing over her every time I close my eyes,” he says, his voice tiny and terrified.

“Then look at me,” Happy says. His arms are still around her waist, grounding her enough that she knows she can bring him back. “Is Addie okay?” she asks him.

“Yes,” he replies.

“Am I okay?” she asks.

Toby nods. “You’re okay.”

“Are you okay?”

“Getting there,” he says.

Happy nods. “Okay. Breathe in four, hold seven, breathe out eight.”

Toby laughs. “You’re using my shrinking against me.”

“Yeah, well,” she shrugs, resting her hand against his cheek as he leans into the touch, “if it works for me, it’ll work for you.”

Toby nods, and he breathes steadily for a few minutes until he’s back together.

“I love you,” are his first words after he calms down and regains control.

“Love you too,” Happy assures him. She leans in, the kiss quick and soft, a reminder that they’re together and they’re okay. “Thanks for being a good team mate in this.”

“In what?” Toby asks. “Not killing Collins?”

Happy laughs. “In raising Addie,” Happy replies. “But, yeah. That too.”

“I just can’t believe we held it together until she left,” Toby says, sliding his hands to hold hers. “We’re good.”

“We’re very good,” Happy corrects. “But come on. Paige is in the middle of her mac and cheese. I’m getting in on that.”

Toby smiles at her. “You always have the best ideas.”

She shrugs. “It’s what I do.”

They’ve shaken off the worst of the panic by the time they get downstairs, and Addie sprits over to Happy once she walks down the stairs.

“Mommy, I pour milk!” she announces, leaping into Happy’s arms.

“Wow,” Happy says, glancing over to Paige. “That’s such a big girl job!”

Addie nods, wiggling so excitedly that she starts flapping her hands.

“Gentle, Addie,” Toby says. “You’re going to hit your mom in the face.”

Addie looks at her hands. “Oh,” she says. “Safe hands.”

“Safe hands,” Happy agrees. She takes one of Addie’s hands and presses a kiss. “Good job helping Auntie Paige.”

Addie nods, dropping her head against Happy’s shoulder. “Auntie Paige is the best,” she announces. Paige looks incredibly proud of herself.

“Your cousin Ralph loves this meal, too,” Paige tells Addie. “You just wait for him to get home from college – I made so much because I knew he’d want an entire pan to himself.”

“Me too?” Addie asks, looking excited.

“You can’t eat a whole pan of mac and cheese, kiddo,” Toby says, kissing the top of her head.

“But I try!” Addie singsongs. She’s positive and smiling, a ray of sunshine to break through all the nerves, but Addie seems to get the panic of the day. She lets Happy hold her until dinner was ready, then insisted that Happy and Toby sit next to her.

“What about Uncle Sly?” Sylvester jokes, tickling her tummy.

Addie giggles and squeals, grabbing onto his finger with her teeny fists.

“Tomorrow,” she promises, nodding insistently. “Mommy, I lunch with Uncle Sly tomorrow?”

Happy nods as she wiggles Addie’s foot. “If you want, anything.”

“Mommy’s a pushover,” Toby jokes, but he’s got a look on his face that makes Happy think he’s just as wrapped around Addie’s little finger as Happy is.

Dinner, as always, is great, and Ralph does actually eat most of the second pan on his own. Walter doesn’t get back until nearly eight, when Addie is asleep in Happy’s arms and she and Toby are considering leaving. Ralph and Sylvester are washing dishes, flicking soap at each other, and Paige is drying for them as she smacks them with a damp wash cloth.

“Hey,” Toby says, his hand on Happy’s lower back. “Any update?”

“He’s in solitary with constant surveillance,” Walter says brusquely. “They still don’t know how he got out. Cabe’s there to figure it out.” He turns to Paige. “I can’t believe how close he got to hurting my,” he hesitates on the word, “my family.”

Without another word, Walter steps forward and kisses Paige so dramatically that Happy can’t take her eyes off the situation.

“Did I miss something?” Toby whispers in Happy’s ear.

Happy shakes her head. “I’m still not sure I’m not hallucinating.”

When Walter pulls away, Paige looks like she got hit over the head with her own mac and cheese pan, and Ralph looks mildly grossed out.

“What was that for?” Paige asks breathlessly.

“Because I never want to lose you,” Walter says. The way he’s looking at her is some sort of importance Happy’s pretty sure Walter hasn’t worn before.

“Goodnight guys,” Toby says, grabbing Happy’s arm and pulling her out of the room. Addie, mercifully, is still completely asleep in Happy’s arms, so Toby grabs the Addie Bag and they book it out of there.

They’re in the car, all buckled in, in record time, and Happy looks over at Toby.

“Thanks for getting us out of there,” Happy says. “That was about to get Walter monolog-y.”

Toby nods, turned all the way around in his seat to keep an eye on Addie. “I wanted to get out of there. It didn’t seem appropriate for us to be there during their,” he pauses, “moment.”

“I just hope that Sly and Ralph picked up on it, too,” Happy says. “I sure as hell know I would have been stuck there by sheer awkwardness for years.”

Toby laughs. “Well, that’s why you’ve got me.”

At a stop sign, Happy looks over at Toby. “Yeah,” she says, smiling.

“And you always will,” Toby promises.

She reaches out and grabs his hand, and they stay quiet for the drive home.

Happy picks Addie out of her car seat and she’s still asleep, the movement of the car always lulling her into a nap. This means she’ll be wide awake in at most an hour, begging for entertainment, but right now Happy can’t bear to wake her up. In her sleep, Addie has wrapped her arms around Happy’s shoulders.

“Take some time,” Toby says, kissing Addie’s forehead, then Happy’s, “I’ll be in later, okay?”

Happy nods, and she almost wants to cry. Because Toby knows her, and knows what she needs. What she needs right now is silence, and Addie, and home.

She rocks Addie for what feels like hours as Addie sleeps in her arms, desperate to memorize the feeling of her little girl in her lap before she gets too big. As much as today scared her, Happy’s a little more afraid of what’s to come, what she won’t be able to protect Addie from.

Toby walks in a little later, quiet as he steps into the room. “How are my girls?” he asks quietly, a tiny smile on his lips.

Addie returns the smile. “We’re good,” she replies. “Thanks for letting me,” she nods down to Addie, “for letting me have some time with her.”

“You needed Mommy time,” Toby says, kneeling in front of the chair. “Though, I couldn’t resist for too long.” He leans down and presses a kiss to Addie’s forehead. “I figured you wouldn’t mind if I came in to see you two after an hour.”

“That was only an hour?” Happy asks, brushing Addie’s hair from her face.

Toby nods.

“Could have sworn it was longer,” she murmurs. “She’s been asleep forever.”

“You should sleep too,” Toby says. “Not to shrink you, but it’ll feel better in the morning.”

Happy exhales, shuddering just enough to spark that look of concern on Toby’s face.

“Talk or drop?” he asks.

“Let me put her to bed,” Happy says, standing and resting Addie in her crib. They’ll have to swap to her toddler bed soon – she’s getting big.

“She looks so grown up,” Toby says. “I can’t believe it.”

“I know what you mean,” Happy says. She looks up at Toby. “But I need –”

Toby nods. “In our room.”

She walks into their bedroom and falls into bed, right into Toby’s arms. He holds her tight.

“Today sucked,” she says after a few minutes. “Today sucked as much as the day Addie was threatened by the freaking people in Beijing.”

“No arguments here,” Toby replies, playing with her hair. “Did we lock the door?”

“Not sure.”

“Give me one second.”

He leaps out of bed to run out of the room, and he’s back a few seconds later.

“Sorry,” he says, climbing back under the sheets next to Happy. “I just – now I’m worried about anyone breaking in anywhere.”

This time she’s the one comforting him, running her hand along his arm. “We’re okay, Toby. Collins isn’t going anywhere this time. Cabe’ll make sure of that.”

“I just never want to feel that way again,” he says, and Happy props herself up on his chest to be able to look at him. “Happy, I was ready to shoot. I was just waiting for him to say something to make me pull the trigger.” He moves his hand from his face. “If we can’t protect her in this job…”

“We can,” Happy assures him, “and we have. Every single time.”

He reaches out and brushes her hair over her shoulder, fingertips lingering on the soft fabric of one of the many of his tee shirts she’s stolen over the years. “I can always count on you for that,” he murmurs. “You saved all of us today.”

“Yeah, well,” she leans into his touch, “nobody fucks with the Quinns.”

He laughs, finally smiling after the day. “Oh, now I’m a Quinn?”

Happy nods. “Please. Like you’ve ever been anything else.”

“I could be a Quinn,” he says. “Say the word, and I can make it happen.”

Happy grins at him, playing with the ring on her finger. “Let’s wait until you get a decent proposal in, okay?”

He nods. “Deal.” He rests his hands on the tops of her arms and she moves so she can kiss him, soft and sure.

“For the record,” she says, pulling away, “I would have shot him if he’d moved. I know I would have.”

He brushes a thumb across her cheek. “No one would have blamed you.”

“The only thing that held me back was,” she focuses on what she wants to say, “was knowing that I didn’t want Addie to have to see or hear any of it. If she hadn’t been there, if it had just been Collins threatening to hurt you,” she looks up at Toby, “I would have shot him.”

“I know,” he says, and she appreciates that, his acknowledgement of how dangerous she can be, instead of trying to convince her that she isn’t. “But you didn’t. And you still protected both me and Addie. But,” he adds, “if you did need to shoot him, or anyone, because they were coming for our daughter, I know the two of us well enough to know we wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger.”

“Then it’s settled,” Happy replies. “We just won’t let anyone threaten our kid again, because we don’t want to have to kill anybody.”

“Good deal,” Toby agrees. It seems like he’s going to add something, but he’s interrupted by a massive yawn. Happy’s ready to tease him for it, but the yawn is contagious.

“I think,” Toby says, snuggling down against the pillows, “we should sleep.”

“I think you have good ideas,” Happy replies. She drops her head to his chest, because she wants to be as close to him as possible today, a reminder of his heartbeat echoing in her ears in order to prove to herself that he’s still safe.

She feels him kiss the top of her head. “I love you,” he says quietly.

“I love you, too.”

“I love you squared.”

She sits up. “What?”

He shrugs. “It’s this thing my mom and dad used to do. They’d go back and forth until one of them said, ‘I love you times infinity infinities.’”

“That’s redundant,” is Happy’s reply.

Toby responds with laughter. “That’s why I haven’t brought it up until now.”

“I like it,” Happy says. “I love you times infinity infinities.”

“And I love you,” he says, “times infinity to the power of infinity.”

“You can’t one up me,” Happy says. “You just told me infinity infinities was the highest one.”

“Nope,” he replies, “mine’s the highest. I couldn’t let you win on the first round.”

Happy groans. “Cheeseball.”


	55. Addie, 22 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balancing work and parenthood isn't easy.

“Aunnie Pay, guess what!” Addie says, sprinting into the garage before Happy and Toby can keep up.

“What’s up, Addie girl?” Paige asks. With a practiced motion she sweeps Addie up into her arms, settling her on her hip.

“I go school soon!” she says, wiggling in Paige’s arms. She holds up a hand. “This many weeks!”

“That’s very exciting!” Paige exclaims. She looks over at Happy and Toby, who nod. “What kind of school?”

“Big school,” Addie replies, playing with Paige’s hair. “I learn.”

“It’s two days a week, mornings,” Toby explains. “It’s mainly to promote social interactions, get Addie around kids her own age.” He leans close. “Right, baby?”

Addie nods. “I go school!”

“You go to school,” Toby corrects. He looks at Paige. “How did Ralph do in early level child care and preschool environments?”

Paige sighs. “We should get coffee to have that conversation.”

Toby raises an eyebrow. “What now?”

“Nothing bad!” Paige says as Addie wiggles down to sprint over to Cabe. He scoops her up and twirls her around.

“How’s my Addie today?” he asks, peppering kisses all over her face.

“Poppy, you silly!” she giggles. She kisses him back, but it’s more like an open-mouthed press across his face.

“Calm down, honey,” Cabe laughs, shifting her to his hip. “I’m glad to see you, too.” He gets a look at Paige, Happy, and Toby. “How about you and me go play while your parents and Auntie Paige go talk about school.”

Addie nods. “School soon!” she exclaims, wiggling with glee.

They walk away.

“Alright then,” Paige says, sighing. “All we’re missing is the coffee.”

“We do have a coffee maker here,” Toby says. “So I’ll take care of that in exchange for your parental wisdom.”

Paige raises an eyebrow. “Laying it on a bit think, aren’t we?”

Toby turns back to them from the coffee maker. “Typical bartering system. You give me wisdom, I give you caffeine. Plus,” he nods to Happy, “she’s freaking out.”

“I am not,” Happy argues, folding her arms across her chest.

“You look a little worried,” Paige says, and she looks so annoyingly understanding that it makes Happy want to put her defenses up.

But then she looks over to Addie and Cabe, who has her upside down and laughing with such excitement that Happy calms down. Her defenses can’t really be up anymore when it comes to helping Addie – but her defenses can be up when protecting her.

“Three cups of coffee,” Toby says, shuffling over to them with three mugs precariously balanced in his hands. He sets them down on the kitchen table. “And now the wisdom exchange begins.”

“Can you stop saying the word ‘wisdom?’” Paige asks, sliding into her seat. “It makes me sound like an old lady.”

“You are a young woman with an old soul,” Toby says, grinning at her over his cup. “Is that better?”

Happy takes a swig and rolls her eyes. “Okay, let’s talk about what we’re supposed to be focusing on.”

Paige has a tiny smile on her lips. “So you are worried.”

“Do I need to be worried?” Happy asked. “Because I, uh. I never went to preschool. I really don’t know what to expect.”

“Is there a problem we should prepare for?” Toby asks. “Something that will happen with a gifted child and her peers?”

Paige shakes her head. “No. Well, not academically.”

Toby and Happy frown at the same time. “Meaning?”

“Ralph had some,” Paige searches for words, “significant social challenges. He had severe social anxiety, and because,” her head drops to her cup of coffee, “because I wasn’t aware of his abilities, I just,” she shrugs. “I tried to make him enjoy interacting with other kids. I didn’t realize why it was hard for him.”

“Hey,” Toby says gently, “don’t beat yourself up about that, Paige. He’s an amazing, kind, and thoughtful kid, not to mention brilliant. And,” a little smile plays across his lips, “I think Walter’s a little jealous of him.”

Paige frowns. “Meaning?”

“Meaning,” Toby says, leaning in like he’s about to divulge a conspiracy, “I think Walter’s main reasoning for why he couldn’t interact with people is that, because he was so smart, he just couldn’t. I think he’d theorized that high IQ meant an inherently low EQ that couldn’t be changed and there was nothing he could ever do about it.”

“And you’re suggesting that Ralph tanked that hypothesis,” Paige says, nodding. “Yeah, I can see that.”

“Though, to be fair, you’ve helped him a lot with that EQ bit.” Toby smiles at her, then looks over at Happy. “What would we do without Paige?”

“Probably would have gotten ourselves locked in multiple federal prisons, died twice each, and killed each other,” Happy deadpans.

Paige snorts. “You’ve got that right.” She’s lighter now, more positive, and she gives them hint after hint about how to help Addie with the social piece, a lot of do-this, do-that, never-do-this, don’t-even-think-about-that, that Toby scribbles down in that little notebook of his. Happy just settles it in the back of her mind.

Toby gets up because of Addie’s call of, “Daddy, I gotta potty!”, which is when Happy turns to Paige.

“Okay, I have another question.”

Paige frowns. “This doesn’t sound good.”

“How did you interact with the parents?” It’s something that’s plagued her since the day she found out she was pregnant. She doesn’t want to be the reason her daughter can’t make friends or, worse, makes friends but loses them because Happy offended their parents. “How do you make them like you so they let their kids play with your kid?”

Paige stares at her in disbelief for a split second, then laughs.

“What’s so funny about that?!” Happy demands.

“Happy,” Paige says, shaking her head. “Happy, chill. Look, just – treat them like you treat me.”

“You’re different,” Happy replies. “You’re – you get us,” she gestures to the garage. “You blow it off when Toby says something inappropriate or when I offend the entire planet with three words or when Walter goes condescending.” Happy sighs. “I don’t want to be the reason my kid can’t get friends.”

“That,” Paige says firmly, “isn’t going to happen. Look, parent friends are,” she sighs. “They’re hard. But you guys are in the same place and, unless there’s some big news you haven’t shared yet, you aren’t planning on moving around. That makes it easier. And our girl is so charming, she’ll make up for any faux pas from you or Toby.” The two of them look over to Addie, who is walking out of the bathroom doing Itsy Bitsy Spider in a way that’s so charming that Happy’s pretty sure she could get away with murder.

“You have a point there.”

“Hey, so,” Cabe says, walking over. “If you guys are all done with your parenting conversation, I do have a case.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Paige asks. “God, if we keep this up Cooper is going to nail us for a lack of professionalism.”

“Addie sneezed all over her last month, and she didn’t care,” Toby notes. “I’m pretty sure that, if that wasn’t a problem, nothing will be.”

Happy and Walter are pulled into another submarine case to pull data from the black box of an airplane off the ocean floor, while the rest of the team will be stuck on land. The big problem right now is why the plane went down – the black box will tell them if it’s terrorism or a mistake. Cooper was emphatic: this was a case important for the entire country’s morale.

“No pressure though,” Happy says with an eye roll.

They get to the submarine and board, a little nervous but not too bad, and when they begin their descent they put in their com devices.

“You guys okay over there?” Toby asks.

“Hi Mommy!” Addie shouts into the mic.

Happy and Walter wince. “Hi, Addie, why don’t you go play with your Ooblek?” Happy says, rubbing her ear. It feels almost as uncomfortable as the time Addie shoved a half-eaten chicken nugget in her ear.

“I would prefer it if Addie, while entertaining, does not have access to coms,” Walter says carefully. After Collins, he’s been more understanding of Addie’s behaviors. That, apparently, does not extend to Addie wailing into their ear.

“Got it,” Toby says. “Sorry. She was sitting on Sly’s lap.”

Walter explains the process to Toby while Happy half listens and keeps up her work. The little machine she and Walter had made seems to be making its way slowly down into the depths of the Pacific Ocean.

And then it all goes a little too silent.

Happy begins tapping on the com device, frowning. “Walter, did they go quiet for some reason?”

He turns to her, looking flustered. “No,” he says, frowning. “Captain, how deep are we?” The captain responds. “That is nowhere near deep enough for us to lose communication.” He shuffles back. “Happy, keep steering the device to the bottom of the trench. We need to get that box.”

Walter darts off.

“There aren’t many places for you to go down here!” Happy calls back. She looks back down at the tablet that’s functioning as a camera. “We have the shittiest luck with submarines.”

She feels the anxiety creep up the back of her neck as she steers the device into the spot where they keep getting the black box ping.

And Happy freezes.

“Walter,” she calls. “Get your ass back here!”

Captain Bouchard walks over. “Is there a problem, Ms. Quinn?”

“Only if you consider an undetonated explosive hovering next to the black box a problem,” Happy says. “Look.” She hands the tablet up to the Captain.

“How can you be so sure it’s an explosive?” Captain Bouchard asks.

“See that?” Happy asks. “That’s a trigger. The only reason it hasn’t gone off is because the pressure in the trench is so high it’s convincing the explosive that the trigger still hasn’t been released. That?” she points again. “That’s a pretty blue wire that, if touched in the wrong way, will set off an explosion that will slam us with boiling water. So, yeah. I’m sure.”

Captain Bouchard blinks. “This is why we hired you,” he says slowly. “Okay, Ms. Quinn. What do we do?”

Walter comes back. “We’ve all lost communication.”

“Yeah,” Happy replies. “Duh.”

“No, I mean, the whole submarine,” Walter says. “No contact with the outside world.” He looks down at the tablet, eyes widening in shock. “Is that an explosive device?”

“How do you people know that from just looking at it?” Captain Bouchard asks.

Walter reaches out to point to the tablet. “Well, this is a trigger –”

“I’ve got it,” Captain Bouchard assures them. “So what can we do about it?”

“We get out of here and let the bomb squad do the work,” Happy says, leaning against the wall. “Or, you know, we would if we were on land.”

“Not helpful,” Captain Bouchard says. “What can we do?”

“The device,” Walter says, practically shoving Happy across the floor and sitting down in front of the tablet.

“Hey!” Happy exclaims.

“We can roll our device –”

“My device,” Happy corrects, because she’s starting to get a little annoyed with getting pushed out of the way.

“ – over to the bomb and then Happy, you can deconstruct it using the same tools we were going to use to pick up the black box,” Walter continues. “Would that work?”

“I don’t know,” Happy says, shoving Walter back out of the way pointedly. “The wires might be too delicate. I don’t want to turn this submarine into a broiler.”

“Technically it would be a –”

Happy shoots Walter a glare. “We can’t get in contact with the rest of the team, we’re about ten minutes away from blowing up, and you’re arguing with me about word choice?”

Walter looks appropriately cowed. “Okay, fine,” he concedes. “Happy, figure out a solution.”

“Me?!” she asks.

“Like you said,” Walter tells her, “it is your device.”

Happy groans. “You’re an ass, O’Brien.” She goes back to the tablet to try and figure out the best option for disarming the bomb, but finds something a bit more sinister. “Walter, we have a first problem,” she mutters. “I found a signal scrambler – that’s what’s keeping us from being able to get through to everybody.”

“Then why is the tablet working?”

“It’s a specific WiFi line from the tablet to the robot,” Happy explains, walking the robot around the IED with as much caution as she can muster. “It’s one device to another, but it’s almost like an air lock between the two items.” She grins at Walter. “Can’t be hacked.”

“How – how did you do that?”

She shrugs, turning back to the tablet. “Mom powers,” she jokes.

Her smile, though, fades rather quickly when she realizes what’s going to have to happen. She can feel Captain Bouchard’s eyes on her back as she works, and she doesn’t want to tell him. Something feels weirdly personal with him on this mission, and she doesn’t like it.

“I have to disarm or detonate it,” Happy mumbles, disheartened. “Between the signal scrambler, and the bomb, we have to get as far away before doing it, but, most likely, we have to blow it up.”

“But the black box!” Captain Bouchard says. “We need to – we have to get that to give the families answers. They need answers!”

“This bomb could explode at any time, Captain,” she replies and, god, she really wishes Paige were here. “Which is, you know, a problem.”

“We can pick it up with the black box.”

Happy scoffs. “Oh, and you want to be the one explaining to everybody on this ship that we have an IED on board that will go off if the pressure is removed from the trigger?”

Captain Bouchard gets a bizarre look on his face. “Do you want to be the one explaining to all the families of the people on that plane that we had to blow up the only record of what happened to their loved ones?”

Happy looks at him. “Why are you freaking out so bad about this?”

Captain Bouchard purses his lips. “It’s my duty.”

“It’s your duty to captain this ship and do what’s necessary to protect your crew,” Walter corrects. “Not to endanger the ship because of some sentimentality.”

Captain Bouchard’s face turns into one of rage, and Happy really wishes Paige was here right now. “That box gives the only answers the families of the victims will ever get,” he says, too quietly. “They deserve to know what happened.”

“Well, we have a bomb next to the black box,” Happy says, because this is the only way she can think of to disarm the situation, “so we can probably assume the plane went down because of a similar explosion, like terrorism.”

Captain Bouchard’s face goes deathly pale, looking like he was just slapped across the face. “Terrorism,” he says quietly. He falls against the wall. “The plane was – the plane was blown up.”

Walter nods. “That is the most logical conclusion.”

“You have a daughter, Ms. Quinn, don’t you,” Captain Boucher says, completely ignoring Walter.

Happy nods, confused about where this is going. “Yeah, one I can’t get in touch with because there’s something blocking my communication.”

Captain Bouchard looks over to Happy with such pain on his face. “I couldn’t get in touch with my daughter, either,” he says, voice shaking only slightly, “on that plane, when it went down. No communication with any passengers, no communication with the pilot, copilot, air marshal, flight attendants.” His hands begin to shake. “My daughter went down with that plane. By terrorism.”

Happy feels that anxiety creep up the back of her neck again with the thought of Addie being taken down on the plane. “Oh.”

“Well, in that case, I worry that the black box could be compromised, as well,” Walter says. Happy shoots him a look. It’s not often that Happy’s the one correcting somebody’s social graces, but right now it feels appropriate.

“Walter,” she says pointedly.

“I am – I am sorry for the loss of your daughter,” Walter says, making that face he gets whenever he’s uncomfortable. “I lost my sister a few years ago. It is not the same, but the pain is – is resonant.” He exhales. “But the best we can do now is pull up the black box back to the submarine, the return Happy’s device back down to detonate the bomb.”

“Will this endanger anyone further?” Captain Bouchard asks. “If we take the extra time to get the blank box, will this endanger my crew?”

Walter sighs. “In waiting to pull the black box up, it extends the possibility of the bomb’s trigger being jolted and blowing up everything near the bomb.”

“And it will hit us,” Captain Bouchard confirms.

Happy nods. “Based on the size of the IED and the ocean floor where we are, the water will boil and roll over the submarine. It can withstand freezing cold and high pressures, but when that turns into boiling water,” she shrugs, “I don’t like our chances. But we could try it.”

“An IED, though, confirms terrorism,” Captain Bouchard determines. “That is without argument.” He exhales, closing his eyes. “The people on that plane were killed by a terrorist with at least two IEDs, one of which did not go off.”

Walter nods. “So, it is decided. We will get away from the improvised explosive device, just far enough to get out of harm’s way, and then Happy will detonate using her device, with as little impact as possible. And we,” Walter says, looking at Captain Bouchard, “will all be willing to testify and report that this plane went down from an IED from terrorism.”

“It’s a good thing my little robot is running on a different frequency than our coms,” Happy says. “Though – I’m kind of upset that we have to blow him up.” She sighs. “Addie loved him.”

Walter gives her a look that makes her want to smack him, but she ignores it. “Are you ready?”

Happy nods. “I’ve got the best move here. But we still can’t guarantee that it will work.” She looks up to Captain Bouchard. “We – there could still be problems.”

“I will inform the crew as you make your final corrections.” His expression is incredibly set, as if he’s prepared to die and not worried about it. Happy’s determined not to let that happen.

“You worried?” Happy asks Walter.

He shrugs. “I’m not enthused, that’s for sure.”

Happy manages a smile. “If I can’t get back to them –”

“You will,” Walter says. “We both will.”

It’s rare that Walter comforts someone. Happy appreciates it.

The captain returns with a curt nod. “We are ready.”

The whole place is silent as Happy makes the final moves to disconnect. She’s still crossing her fingers that she can disconnect wires without the IED exploding, but she’s not holding out too much hope.

She pulls the wire, and the feed shatters. The submarine shifts just slightly, Happy and Walter scrambling for something to hold onto, but there’s no heat. It’s just the water surging up from the depths. The bomb went off.

“And there it is,” Captain Bouchard says quietly. “The proof that it was, indeed, a bomb.”

Happy nods.

And then she hears commotion from the end of the com.

“Toby, Paige, you guys there?” Happy asks. She adjusts the com, making sure she can hear it. “Please tell me you’re there.”

“Finally,” Toby says, and she’s never been so happy to hear his voice. “Oh, thank god, you’re okay.”

“Yeah, it – it wasn’t a fun one,” Happy replies. “But we’re going to be back in a couple of hours, okay?”

Paige and Walter take a few minutes to talk, and Happy pretends she’s not aching to hear Addie’s voice.

“Okay, I get that you love each other, but can somebody put Addie on the line?” Happy demands.

“Right,” Walter says. “Of course. I should have realized.”

She hears a little bit of commotion until Addie comes on the line.

“Mommy!” Addie exclaims.

“Hi, Addie Grace,” Happy laughs, trying not to cry.

“Hi, Mommy,” Addie repeats, sounding like sunshine. “Water fun?”

“We are having so much fun,” Happy replies. “We’ll be home soon, kiddo, okay?”

“Uncle Wally?” Addie asks.

“He’ll be home soon, too,” Happy assures her. “Don’t you worry.”

They reach the surface, and are told to turn off their com devices. Happy doesn’t want to – it’s already been too long since she’s talked to her kid – but she deals. And then she is stopped by the captain as she tries to disembark.

“Ms. Quinn,” Captain Bouchard says.

She turns to him. “Yes?”

“I appreciate your understanding of my situation,” he says. “And I don’t think I need to tell you how important it is to cherish your daughter.”

“I already know,” Happy says, nodding. “She’s the most important part of my life.”

He holds out his hand. “Thank you,” he says, eyes misty, “for helping me find answers in my daughter’s death.”

Happy shakes, feeling unexpectedly choked up. “You’re welcome,” she manages. And then she scrambles in her pocket for her wallet, pulling out that picture of Addie at Paige’s birthday party, giving a silly face in her favorite dress. She hands it to Captain Bouchard.

“Ms. Quinn?”

“Keep it,” she tells him, unsure of why she’s doing this. “Please. Just – you’ve lost your daughter. I don’t even want to know how that feels.” She exhales, even just imagining it shattering her to the bones. “But I want – she’s a great kid. And I thought, maybe, seeing a happy smile might make your feel a little better.”

Captain Bouchard takes the picture gingerly, and Happy momentarily worries that she’s overstepped a line or done something incredibly inappropriate. But instead, he just smiles at her with watery eyes.

“Thank you,” he says. “She’s beautiful.”

Happy smiles back at him. “She’s the best.”

“And her name?” Captain Bouchard asks.

“Addie,” Happy replies. “Adalyn.”

Captain Bouchard looks startled. “Really.”

Happy nods.

“My daughter’s name is – was – Madeline.”

Happy doesn’t know what that means. She’s not like Toby who can read into behaviors, she’s not like Paige who finds meaning in small motions. But she thinks that was important.

“Have a wonderful time seeing your daughter again,” the captain tells her. “Really.”

Happy nods. “Thank you, Captain.”

She chats with Walter about her WiFi connection to pass the time, the conversation with Captain Bouchard in the back of her mind the whole trip. When they land, the rest of the team is waiting for them.

Addie’s shriek of, “Mommy!” gives her reason to do all of this.

Toby sets her down and Addie sprints toward Happy with a massive smile.

“Hi, Mommy,” she says when Happy scoops her up.

“Hi, baby,” Happy says, holding Addie close. “Oh, god, I missed you.”

“Love Mommy,” Addie mumbles.

Happy never saw herself having a daughter, having someone for whom she would give up her life. Someone who would give her life.

But that someone is in her arms right now, and she’s never letting go.


	56. Addie, 23 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kids grow up. The first big step to that is preschool.

Happy wakes up before her alarm, her heart beating a little more quickly in her chest than she’s used to. Today’s her kid’s first day of preschool, which feels like the first day of her child growing up.

“You freaking out, too?” Toby asks, turning to her.

“How long have you been awake?”

Toby checks his watch. “Twenty-five minutes.”

“What time is it?”

Toby frowns. “It’s five thirty.”

Happy groans, pressing her face into the pillow. “Who the fuck wakes up this early?”

“Parents on their kid’s first day of school,” Toby replies.

“Preschool,” Happy corrects. “She’s only in preschool.”

“Aw,” Toby says, stroking her hair. “You’re having Hardcore Mama feelings.”

“Am not,” Happy replies. “I’m just not ready for her to be going somewhere else when we’re at work.”

Toby rolls over and kisses her temple. “She’s going to do great.”

“I’m more worried about us,” Happy mumbles.

Toby pulls her close, and Happy rests her head on Toby’s chest. “Is it weird that I’m scared?”

“Sure hope not,” Toby replies, “because I’m terrified.”

Happy curls into Toby, and he wraps an arm around her. “She’s going to have so much fun,” he mutters.

“Yeah, but we aren’t,” Happy says. “We’re going to be miserable at work. Can you imagine the way Walter’s going to react to us?”

“Well, we’ll be okay by twelve-thirty,” Toby says. “Once I got get her –”

Happy sits up. “You go get her?”

“Yeah,” Toby says slowly. “What, you want to go?”

Happy shrugs. “I mean, kind of.”

Toby’s face breaks into a smile. “Hardcore Mommy,” he says, shaking his head.

It’s not long before Addie comes barreling in from her bedroom, dive bombing them. Happy makes a weird noise when Addie collides with her knee.

“Addie, baby, you’re getting a little too grown up to do that,” Toby says. He’s eyeing the two of them carefully, like he’s watching for bruising.

Addie curls onto Happy’s chest. “Mommy likes it,” she explains.

“Actually, you need to be more gentle,” Happy explains, rubbing Addie’s back. “Because that hurt.”

“Sorry, Mommy,” Addie mumbles. “But school today!”

“Yes, you do go to school today,” Toby says. “Are you excited?”

Addie nods. “So excited. New friends!”

“You will meet new friends,” Happy says, kissing Addie’s forehead.

“So fun,” Addie says, hugging Happy tight. “So excited.”

They’re lazy this morning, not expected at Addie’s preschool until 7:30, so Toby makes Addie Mickey Mouse pancakes on a Tuesday and Addie is beyond delighted.

“Spe-sal pancake day?” she asks when Toby puts the pancake on her plate.

Toby nods. “Yes, honey. Because it’s your first day of school.”

Addie claps. “Yay!”

Happy has to give Addie a quick bath before putting Addie in her first day of school outfit, because she got a little overzealous with the pancakes.

“You want some pancakes too, Hap?” Toby asks, poking his head into Addie’s bedroom.

“Yeah, Daddy,” Addie says, grinning.

“Not you, goofball,” Toby says, making a funny face at Addie. “I was talking to your mom.”

“Give me two Mickeys and some syrup,” Happy requests. “And also a really big glass of water, because I’m going to need that.”

“By water you mean beer,” Toby says, raising an eyebrow.

Happy rolls her eyes. “It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

“You may not have beer at seven in the morning.”

“Technically, it’s seven oh five,” Happy corrects.

Toby rolls his eyes. “I’m getting you water.”

“Good deal.”

The morning sped by too quickly, and they’re at the school five minutes early. Happy half wants to turn the car around and go home. She’s not ready to trust somebody else with her daughter for five hours two days a week.

“You ready?” Toby asks.

“Yeah, Daddy, go to school!” Addie exclaims.

Toby’s face turns into a smile. “Actually, I was talking to your mom.”

“No,” Happy says under her breath.

“You’ve got to be ready,” Toby says, offering Happy the tiniest smile.

Happy sighs. “I know.”

They make their way to the front of the school, and Addie is practically jumping twice her height as they get closer and closer.

“Mommy, it’s my school!” she whispers. “Mommy, I’m so excited!”

“I can tell, baby girl,” Happy says. She swings Addie up into her arms, because she needs to hold Addie one more time before she says goodbye.

“Hap, we’re coming back to get her at twelve thirty,” Toby mutters. “You’re seriously losing it.”

“Am not!” Happy replies. “I’m fine.”

“Are not.”

“Are too!”

Addie looks at them. “You guys are silly,” she pronounces. “Be grown ups.”

“We just got called out by our toddler daughter,” Toby says, sighing. “This feels wrong.”

Addie nods. “Be grown ups,” she repeats, like it’s a solution.

“Okay, baby,” Happy says, kissing Addie’s cheek. “We’re so proud of you.”

“Yeah, Mommy, time for school,” she says. She wiggles until Happy sets her down onto the ground, and bolts into the school. Then she stops, turns around, and runs back to Happy and Toby.

“Mommy, where are we going?” she whispers.

Happy holds out her hand and Addie takes it. Addie takes Toby’s hand as well. “Room 16,” Happy explains. “We’ll show you.”

“I know sis-teen,” Addie says, swinging her arms. “It’s a one and a sis.”

“Six,” Toby corrects. “A one and a six.”

Addie rolls her eyes. “Yeah, Daddy, what I said.”

Happy tries not to laugh too hard.

Miss Marie is standing in front of the door of Room 16 when they get there, and Happy feels comforted by it. She begins to wonder if teachers are more concerned with taking care of the parents than of the kids.

“Hi!” Miss Marie exclaims. “Welcome to Room 16’s preschool class.” She drops to her knees, right at Addie’s level. She holds out her hand to shake Addie’s. “Hi, Addie. I’m so glad to meet you!”

Addie holds out her hand and puts it in Miss Marie’s, barely a touch. “Hi,” she says quietly.

“Oh, don’t be shy, baby,” Toby says. He sits down next to Addie. “Shake her hand like you shake Popsy’s hand.”

She wiggles her hand like she’s trying to pump bellows, and Miss Marie’s face breaks into a bigger smile.

“That’s my girl,” Happy laughs.

“Are you ready to go in the classroom and meet your classmates?” Miss Marie asks. “I am so excited for you to meet some new friends.”

Addie nods. “Yes, please!”

Miss Marie moves away to open the door. “The whole classroom is excited to meet you.”

Addie bolts in, the little backpack flopping on her back. It’s basically empty – just her blankie, a package of pencils, a set of jumbo crayons, and a snack – but it still looks huge on Addie’s tiny frame.

Happy doesn’t cry. She really doesn’t. But she starts to feel tears welling – it’s the first time she’s had to say goodbye to her little one like this – she knows Addie’s going to have a blast, but Happy sure won’t.

Toby rubs her back, like he knows what she’s feeling.

And then, Addie stops in her tracks. “Wait,” Addie calls.

Happy turns around to see Addie’s lip wobble and then, like she’s shot out of a bullet, she sprints over to Happy and latches onto her leg. “Mama, don’t go!” She throws another arm around Toby’s leg, who doesn’t look as thrown off as Happy is.

Happy looks up at the preschool teacher in shock.

“This happens all the time,” Miss Marie assures her. “First days are hard. Addie?” She goes down to Addie’s level, sitting on the floor next to her. “Addie, can I ask you a question?”

Addie nods, her face still buried into Happy’s pant leg. Toby rests a hand on the top of her head and says, “It’s okay, baby.”

“Can your mommy and daddy stay for half an hour and then go? Is that okay with you?” Her voice is soft and soothing, and Happy’s suddenly glad for the government-esque salary that makes it so they can pay for a good preschool.

Addie stills. “Mama and Daddy stay a little?” she asks, sounding hesitant, like the opportunity won’t last.

“They certainly can, for a little bit,” Miss Marie assures her. “We can show them around the classroom. Is that a good idea?”

Addie nods. “Up, Mama,” she says, reaching. Happy raises an eyebrow. “Please up, Mama?”

“Okay,” Happy says, because she can never resist a cuddle with her kid. “But after a couple minutes you have to walk.”

When Happy and Toby really make it into the classroom, Happy sees three other moms and two dads playing with kids who seem to cling to them.

“Why don’t we go meet some new friends?” Miss Marie suggests.

Happy knows she’s talking to Addie, but Happy can’t help but feel like this is some sort of audition for herself and Toby as well.

“Addie,” Miss Marie says, “this is Kelly.”

Kelly is a tiny girl with beautiful dark curls that frame her face like a halo, bright brown eyes that sparkle with interest and a little bit of hesitation. She’s clinging to a woman who says, “Come on, baby, say hi.” Kelly waves at Addie, who waves back just as bashfully.

“Oh, come on, Addie Grace, you are much more talkative at home,” Happy sighs. She sets Addie down. “Here, I’m right with you. You can say hi.”

“Kelly’s the same at home,” says a woman who must be Kelly’s other mother – she looks just like her. “Chatty Kelly, we call her.”

Kelly giggles. “Silly Mommy.”

“Chatty Addie rhymes, Mommy,” Addie says quietly.

Happy nods. “Go say that.”

Addie tugs on Miss Marie’s jeans. “Miss Marie,” she says. “Chatty Addie rhymes?”

Miss Marie’s expression goes into complete surprise and excitement. “Miss Addie, look at you!” she exclaims. “You know how to rhyme already! That is wonderful.”

Addie giggles. “I like words and music,” she says.

Kelly’s eyes widen. “I like moo-sic!” she says. She lets go of her mother and takes a step toward Addie. “Lion King?” she asks.

Happy relaxes. Addie has an in.

“I love Lion King!” Addie squeals. Like they planned it, the two of them launch into a wildly inaccurate version of I Just Can’t Wait to Be King, but the melody is pretty good. They collapse over each other, giggling with excitement.

Happy sighs. “Well that’s a relief,” she mutters to Toby.

“I knew she’d find a friend,” he says, resting a hand on Happy’s shoulder. “Now, here’s the big question. Are you ready to leave her?”

The answer, Happy realizes, is a big fat no. She’s not ready for Addie to be going to school, and she’s not ready for Addie to be this talkative and independent and giddy, and she’s not ready to think about what kindergarten is going to look like.

“Me either,” Toby says quietly.

They each give her a kiss and a hug as Kelly and Addie are jumping and bouncing to go play. And then she’s off.

“Don’t worry,” Miss Marie assures Happy, Toby, and Kelly’s moms. “I have to be honest, the first day is harder for the parents most of the time. At this age they can jump to friends rather quickly, especially if they’ve made great relationships with their parents.”

Happy tries not to feel too deflated. “Well, that’s good.”

“Do you guys want to go for coffee after we leave?” Kelly’s mother, the one with blonde hair and green eyes blurts out. “I mean, our kids seem to have hit it off. We should get to know each other.”

Her wife laughs. “Pardon her, she’s a little,” she pauses, “abrupt.”

“Don’t I know how that feels,” Toby says, and Happy’s a little offended at how pointedly he looks at her.

“That sounds great,” Happy says. She doesn’t remember talking to people being this easy before – or being the one who was asked to connect. Usually she’s the one fumbling her way through trying to befriend someone, and inevitably getting flustered. But, then again, like Cabe said when Addie was little, she’s the best ice breaker they could get. Their little charmer is going to get them far.

Toby blows a half dozen kisses over to Addie, who catches them, giggles, then goes right back to playing with Kelly.

“I’m Katherine Mitchell,” says Kelly’s blonde mother. She holds out a hand and shakes Toby’s and Happy’s. “This is my wife, Estelle.”

“Hi,” Happy says, nodding to them. She feels a little awkward, unsure of where to go next.

“Glad to meet you,” Toby says. “Is Kelly your first?”

“Oh, no,” Katherine says. “We have an older one, Hudson. He’s in kindergarten down the hall – we already had a bit of a cry fest when we said goodbye to him this morning.”

“This one cried all last night,” Happy says, nudging Toby in the ribs.

“Hey!” he says. “It was only for an hour.”

“We completely understand,” Estelle says. “Am I right in guessing that Addie’s your first?”

“Our only,” Happy amends.

“Ahh,” Estelle replies. “So that makes the separation anxiety even rougher.”

Happy shrugs. “I think Addie will be fine.”

“Oh, she’ll be fine,” Katherine says. “You? You two are going to have a rough time.”

“We are?” Happy asks.

Katherine nods. “Estelle cried for three straight days after dropping Hudson off the first time.”

“But you picked him up that day,” Happy asks, frowning.

Katherine nods. “I know. She stopped crying when he came home and started off again when we dropped him off the next day.”

Toby wrinkles his nose. “That doesn’t sound fun.”

“It wasn’t,” Katherine says. “She’s not a pretty crier.”

“Hey!” Estelle says, folding her arms. “Jerk.”

Katherine stands on her toes and kisses Estelle on the cheek. “Oh, don’t be mean to me in front of our new friends.”

“Then don’t be mean to me in front of our new friends,” Estelle counters.

“Deal,” Katherine says.

They go to coffee, and it’s a lot of Katherine and Toby talking with incredible animation and excitement about child development and work and books they’ve both read, while Estelle and Happy exchange glances and have their own conversations. Estelle is a systems engineer over with a military contractor, so the two of them laugh about how they’re not allowed to talk about their jobs.

When Happy’s phone rings an hour later, she answers with a cheery, “Hi!”

“Where are you two?!” Paige exclaims. “What’s wrong with Addie? Could she not handle preschool?”

Happy checks her watch. “Oh.”

“Yes, oh,” Paige sighs. “You guys are late.”

“Only a little!” Happy argues. “Not late enough for you to start worrying.”

“We were all here at eight thirty,” Paige replies.

“It’s only eight forty-five!” Happy replies.

“We’ve got a case,” Paige says patiently.

Happy sighs. “Fine. See you in twenty.” She hangs up and turns to Toby. “Paige is mad at us.”

“Stupid work,” he grumbles.

“You’re telling me,” Katherine says. “As much as I love working from home, the few times I have to go away for litigation makes my skin crawl.”

They exchange phone numbers and make plans to take the kids to the park over the weekend, and Happy feels weird and almost uncomfortable about how easy this was. When they talk about the kids, when they talk about work, it makes sense. Addie and Kelly molded the conversation so easily and seamlessly that Happy never quite felt uncomfortable around Kelly’s parents.

Happy hops into the truck, and looks over to see the biggest grin on Toby’s lips.

“Why are you so chipper?” she asks. “We’re going to work.”

“We made friends!” Toby exclaims. He turns around as if to talk to Addie, and then his excitement falls like a boulder. “Oh, and now I’m sad.”

“You are a pendulum of emotions,” Happy sighs.

They get to work, locating some lost cargo for the government from the safety of their garage, and the minimalistic work is kind of terrible for Happy. If they were stuck in Botswana rescuing a league of endangered chipmunks from mines, she’d have less time to worry about where Addie is, if she’s happy, if she’s missing them.

Her alarm goes off at noon and she goes to jump out of her seat, but Toby’s already standing. “Preschool’s over,” he announces. “Be back in about forty minutes.”

“What?” Walter says, looking baffled. “You two can’t both go.”

“We can’t?” Happy asks, standing slowly. “Why not?”

“Hey, whoa, slow down, Tiger,” Paige says. “Don’t kill him.”

“I wasn’t – okay, I’m slowing down, but why can’t I go get my kid?”

“We need at least one of you here,” Walter says. “Otherwise I’m not sure how well it’ll work.”

Happy falls back into her chair and, without looking, tosses her keys to Toby. He’s so startled at her giving up the fight that he must have missed the keys, and she hears them clang onto the floor. Happy looks over to him – he’s scrambling for them under the couch.

“How?” she asks. “How did you miss so badly?”

“There’s a reason I never played baseball,” Toby replies. “And it’s not just that I was too short for the high school team.” He pulls out the keys. “Got them. Are you sure you’re not going to come?”

No, is the answer. But Happy has to prove to herself that she can handle being away from Addie – that she’s not a helicopter parent. “Yeah, I’m good,” she says, going back to filling out her report from the morning’s task. “I’ll see you around one, right?”

“And then lunch time,” Toby adds.

Happy nods.

And it’s the most miserable forty minutes. Happy’s stupidly excited to see Addie, like it’s been weeks instead of hours since she’s seen her kid. But she can’t help it – she missed her.

It’s almost worth it when she hears Addie shout, “Mommy!” as she sprints in the door. Happy turns in her chair and catches Addie in her arms. Addie’s hug is ridiculously long and incredibly welcomed.

“Hey, Addie Grace,” Happy laughs. “You have fun today?”

Addie pulls away just far enough to see Happy’s face, and nods. “I love school!”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Happy kisses the top of Addie’s head when she dives back into Happy’s shoulder, and she makes eye contact with Toby. He’s smiling sweetly at them, looking smitten.

“And guess what?” Happy asks Addie. She pulls away, drumming on Happy’s shoulders to a melody only she can hear.

“What?”

“You get to go again on Thursday.”

Addie’s eyes go wide. “Really?”

Happy nods.

Addie starts clapping so excitedly that she nearly falls off of Happy’s lap. She catches her at the last second.

“Alright, let’s calm down, honey,” Toby says, walking up to Happy’s desk. “How about we do lunch?”

Addie nods. “Yeah.”

She doesn’t let go of Happy until she falls asleep an hour later.

“That means she missed you,” Paige says quietly as Happy lay a light blanket over Addie.

“What does?”

“That she wouldn’t let you go after she saw you,” Paige explains. “She definitely missed you.”

Happy smiles, leaning down to kiss the top of Addie’s head. “Missed you, too, baby.”


	57. Addie's Second Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been two years since Addie was born. And the party is way more than Happy expected.

Happy wakes up on the morning of Addie’s second birthday to hearing her daughter whisper, “Shh, Mommy sleeps.”

She opens one eye. “What’s up, guys?”

“Mommy sleeps!” Addie insists. “Oh. Quiet.”

“It’s okay, kiddo.” She reaches down and swoops Addie up into her arms. Addie cuddles into her. “Hey. You know what day it is?”

“My birthday!” Addie pronounces. She’s been practicing for months on saying the word birthday correctly ever since she saw a video of herself saying, “My birdie!” from the year before. “I am two today!”

“Yes,” Toby says, sitting next to Happy. “Yes, you are. What do you want for breakfast, baby girl?”

“Not a baby,” Addie insists. “I am two today.”

“I can’t call you baby girl anymore?” Toby asks. His pout is almost as devastating as Addie’s, lip out and eyes big and sad.

“Okay, Daddy,” Addie decides. She dives from Happy’s lap into Toby’s. “Birthday breakfast?”

“Yes, honey, what would you like?”

“Pancakes!” Addie decides. “Pancakes!”

“We have pancakes every weekend,” Toby says, rocking Addie back and forth. Happy feels a strange little flutter in her heart when she sees Addie snuggle into Toby’s arms. She looks so small for a two year old – still hasn’t even broken twenty-five pounds – but whenever she looks at Happy it’s like looking into the eyes of an old soul.

“I like Daddy pancakes,” Addie explains. “Pancakes, please.”

Toby shoots Happy a look. “I am a slave to the wishes of a two year old.”

“And don’t you forget it,” Happy says with a nod. “Now get to the kitchen and make me breakfast.”

Toby winks at her. “As always, my queen.”

Happy groans. “Stop calling me that.”

Toby grins at her with Addie on his hip, hanging out in the doorway. “Would you rather I call you babe?”

“I can’t win this, can I?” Happy grumbles.

Toby nods.

“You can’t win anything, Mommy,” Addie replies. She nods sagely.

“I’m going back to bed,” Happy calls. “Wake me when there’s pancakes.”

~

Between pancakes, showers, a bath, decorating the garage, and deflecting a million questions from Paige about whether or not Happy and Toby cleared the party with Walter, it’s begun.

“I’ve got the cake!” Paige says, shuffling in.

“That thing is huge!” Happy exclaims. “Can we possibly eat all of that cake?”

Paige sets it down next to the fridge. “You’d be surprised how quickly and thoroughly toddlers can plow through three pieces of cake.”

“Yeah, and then hurl them back up,” Toby mutters.

Happy turns to him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he says. “Oh, I think I hear a car. People are coming!”

Addie’s a picture of perfection as she greets everyone, that is, she’s bouncing on her toes in her neon pink baby converse that Paige bought her. She’s wearing a denim vest and a bright green tutu, with a blue tee shirt underneath that reads “Terrific Twos”.

“Are you sure she doesn’t want to wear the birthday dress?” Toby mutters. “This outfit is a little avant-garde.”

“That’s a nice way of saying ridiculous,” Happy replies. “I think she’s okay. She loves that tutu.”

And then more and more people walk into the garage, and Happy is no longer worrying about cake.

“Where did all these small children come from?” Walter asks, looking around the garage. “I don’t remember allowing these small children into the garage. Or, at least, not this many.”

“Neither did I,” Happy replies. “But apparently all the kids from Addie’s playgroup have a shit ton of siblings who decided to come with. Nobody asked me, though. They just sort of showed up.”

Walter wrinkles his nose. “I don’t appreciate being uninformed of this.”

“Believe me, dude,” Happy says. “The only good thing about this is double the presents. At least.”

“Probably not,” Toby says, kissing her cheek as he stands next to Happy. “They usually just bring one gift per family.”

Happy turns to him. “So the five kids from Happy’s preschool come here for free cake and weird party gifts that you say are fun but I say are stupid with all their siblings, and she only gets, like, one tonka truck for every two drooling disasters?” She sighs. “Freakin’ preschool.”

Toby laughs. “The Mitchells got her a keyboard, if that makes it any better.”

“A keyboard?” Happy asks. “Like, on a computer? We use laptops.”

Toby sighs. “Oh, you poor, confused woman. It’s so charming when you’re oblivious.” He leans in to kiss her temple.

“Don’t do that,” Happy says, holding up her hand. “There are people here.”

“Fine,” Toby decides. “But a musical keyboard.”

Happy’s eyebrows shoot up. “Seriously?”

Toby nods. “Apparently our daughter has rich friends.”

Happy looks over to where Addie is playing ring around the rosie with Kelly Mitchell, Braden James, and two other kids who have to be their siblings. Julia Davis and Martin Pratt are watching Ralph with a couple more kids in absolute awe as he conducts some experiments on his desk, and Carter Madison is talking Walter’s ear off while Paige encourages her to keep chatting. “Apparently.” Happy turns to Toby. “But at least they’re good friends.”

“Good friends?” Toby says. “Uh, Ted is awesome. And have you talked to Maggie? She’s an astrophysicist! She’s like us, which means Martin might be like Addie! And astrophysics! Happy,” he leans in close, “she’s met Neil DeGrasse Tyson.”

“I thought you said he was a hack.”

“I was wrong,” he says seriously.

Happy rolls her eyes. “Also, and this is off topic, but you get to tell them they have to leave after cake and presents.”

“What?”

“I pushed the child out,” Happy explains, “you kick the parents out. I do the engineering part of parenting, you do the psychological manipulation of her parents. Playing to our strengths.”

Toby sighs. “I hate when you’re right.”

“I’d just piss them off if I did it,” Happy explains. “And then where would Addie be?”

“I already said you were right,” Toby says, walking to the cake. “You don’t have to keep convincing me.”

“I know,” Happy replies, “but I like to remind you.”

Cake, Happy realizes, is like crack to a bunch of preschoolers. Addie grabs a handful of the frosting on her corner piece and shoves it all over her face, looking unreasonably delighted as she eats.

“Mama cake!” Addie says through a handful of frosting, holding out a handful of mushed cake.

“I’ll have my own piece, honey,” Happy replies. But she can’t resist pressing a kiss to Addie’s forehead.

She regrets it almost instantly when Addie pats the side of her head with her cake-filled hand.

“I cannot believe that just happened,” Happy hears Toby say. She hears a shutter click.

“Picture, Daddy?” Addie says, turning over to where the sound was. “Take a picture!”

“Only if Mommy smiles,” Toby teases, looking over at Happy.

Happy sighs. “Fine. But no more cake in my hair.”

Addie nods. “No more cake in Mommy’s hair,” she agrees.

So she grabs Happy’s face with her cake covered hands and turns to the camera, grinning so broadly that Happy can’t even figure out how to react.

Toby, on the other hand, barely manages to hold it together long enough to take the picture. Then he collapses on himself with hysterical laugher, which Addie echoes.

“Mommy, you look silly,” Addie says, clapping her hands together.

“You made me look silly,” Happy laughs.

Addie nods. “I’m good at that.”

“You are good at that,” Happy agrees.

After cake, all the kids require the equivalent of a bath, and Happy’s not sure what her plan is. That is, until Cabe comes up to them and says, “Addie has a change of clothes here, right?”

Happy nods slowly. “Yes, but where are you going with this?”

His grin is his patented Pops expression. “Just be aware that I checked with all of the parents before I did this.” Next thing Happy knows, Cabe is shuffling all the kids outside, and then turns on a sprinkler system. Happy doesn’t know where it came from.

The kids squeal in absolute delight and run through the water, the ground getting stained with blue, pink, and purple frosting within a minute. Happy’s impressed – this was a pretty good idea, despite the completely drenched children. But, in true parent glory, it seems that all of Addie’s classmates have parents who do what Happy and Toby do: assume chaos and bring extra clothes wherever they go.

Once all of the kids have laughed and run off all the frosting, parents wrangle them into clean clothes and then it’s time for presents.

Addie’s eyes widen comically as she opens every gift. The Mitchells did, indeed, buy her a keyboard, and Happy snaps a picture as Addie bursts into tears and says, “But it’s just so pretty!”

The Davis’ got her a set of kids’ astronomy books, Cabe got Addie a gift card to Build-a-Bear for so much money that Happy smacks him in the shoulder, Paige got Addie a beautiful tricycle that’s perfectly Addie sized, and, after that, Happy runs out of the ability to count what’s coming in from who. She’s too busy trying to make sure Addie doesn’t strangle herself with all the ribbon she’s wrapping around herself with pride.

“Addie, honey,” Happy says quietly, “you have to be careful with the ribbon.”

Addie pouts. “It’s pretty, Mommy.”

“Yes, but you’re not safe.”

With a huff, Addie lets Happy take off all of the ribbon and readjust everything on her. Somehow, while in Paige’s lap as she opened gifts, her tutu scooted all the way up to her waist. It wasn’t a stylish look, Doc McStuffins underpants.

Soon, though, the toddlers get sleepy, and the parents could use a nap too. Addie gives each of her friends and each of their siblings a hug. Martin’s older sister Kayla tells Addie that she can come over any time she wants, and this delights Addie so much she tells Kayla she loves her.

“I love you too, Addie,” Kayla says, patting Addie on the top of her head.

“I love her most!” Kelly says, giving Addie another hug. Katherine and Happy have to peel the girls apart before they get glued together.

When everyone leaves, Happy looks around the place and realizes just how much they’re going to have to do to clean the garage.

And then she looks over to Addie, who has managed to balance herself, all on her own, on top of her little tricycle.

“You like that present, don’t you?” Happy laughs.

Addie nods her head. “It’s the prettiest,” she decides.

“Auntie Paige wins again!” Paige exclaims from where she’s cleaning up the snacks and cake.

Happy and Toby work on cleaning up some of the confetti while keeping an eye on Addie, but before long she gets tangled in the crepe paper, lines of blue and green and purple and pink wrapped around her and weaving in and out of the layers of her tutu. It clashes hilariously with the little blue tricycle she’s sitting in as she tries – without success – to make her feet pedal.

“Daddy help?” she asks, kicking at the pedals.

“Baby, no,” Toby says, looking startled, “don’t kick the – ”

Apparently, Toby had foreseen before Happy the fact that eventually Addie would kick the pedal hard enough and in the right way that she’d stub her toe.

Addie’s face screws up and she wails.

“Yes, see?” Toby says, picking her up, tutu, crepe paper, and all. “You need to be safe. What do you do when stuck?”

Addie sniffles. “Ask for help?”

“And then you have to…?” He trails off, waiting for her to finish one of the safety scripts Toby had insisted on teaching her.

“Wait for help,” Addie says. She buries her face into Toby’s shoulder. “Wait is hard.”

“I know, baby girl,” Toby says, shooting Happy a smile over Addie’s shoulder. “All better now?”

Addie shakes her head. “Need a Daddy kiss for better,” she explains.

“This is not the scientific method of healing,” Toby says. “But yes. Kiss to make it better.” He half flips her upside down to press a kiss to the toe of her sneakers, and Addie’s sniffles turn into gleeful laughter in no time.

“Thanks, Daddy,” Addie says, snuggling into him. “Thanks for birthday.”

“You are very welcome for your birthday party,” Toby says. “Go thank your mommy.”

“Okay!” Addie runs across the garage to Happy and barrels into her knees. For the first time her body is enough to knock Happy onto her butt. Addie climbs on top of her and gives her a big hug. She’s getting incredibly strong. “Hi, Mommy. Thank you for my party.”

Happy struggles to sit up. “You’re welcome, Addie.” Her tailbone hurts more than she wants to admit. “You have a fun day?”

“The funnest!” She snuggles against Happy. “Love you, Mommy.”

“I love you, too, Addie Grace,” Happy says. “Want to help me and Daddy pick up?”

“No,” Addie replies, chipper as ever. She darts back to her tricycle and manages to make an even bigger mess as she rips the crepe paper and streamers off of it.

“Never ask a question you don’t want the answer to,” Paige says sagely. “Also, do you want to keep this cake? I think one of the kids sat in it.”

Happy looks over to see what used to be the cake. It’s a pink and purple blob.

“No, I uh,” she chances a glance over at Addie, “we can get rid of it.”

~

Toby face plants into bed, groaning. “Happy,” he whines, “Happy, why are two year olds so exhausting?”

Happy curls up next to him. “Because they are.”

“That’s vague and also accurate.” Toby rolls over and kisses her shoulder. “Hey, do you think Addie’s actually going to sleep in her own bed tonight?”

“Doubt it,” Happy replies. She shifts, curling up on her side. “But let’s just take some time to pretend we’ll have a night to ourselves.”

“I like the way that sounds,” Toby murmurs. He pulls Happy closer and presses a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I’m thinking we spent the entire day with toddlers and I’m already half asleep,” Happy mumbles.

“So you’re thinking a nap,” Toby says.

“Exactly.”

Toby grins at her. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

They get fourteen minutes before they hear, “Mommy! Daddy!”

“We didn’t even get enough sleep to constitute a power nap,” Toby mumbles into the pillow.

“Hey, Addie,” Happy says. She pushes herself up to see Addie toddling in with her purple blanket, stuffed wrench, and one of the massive teddy bears Cabe had gotten her for her last birthday.

“Sleep time, Mommy,” she says, grinning up. “With Eddie Teddy and Wrenchy and Blankie.”

“Okay,” Happy concedes. She picks Addie up and settles her in between Toby and herself. And then Eddie Teddy falls over and smacks her in the head.

“Addie, can we, I don’t know, leave Eddie in your room,” Toby asks.

“Eddie has nightmares,” Addie says plainly. “He needs sleepy with Mommy and Daddy.” She plucks the hat off of Toby’s head and sticks it on her teddy bear’s head. “He needs Daddy’s hat to keep the scary away.”

“Got it,” Toby says. “How about we put on some stories while we go put on our pajamas?”

“We forgot to put on pajamas?” Happy asks. She shifts, her jacket making a weird noise against the sheets. “Yup. We did.”

Toby settles Addie in bed, playing The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Addie snuggles up to her teddy bear, telling it to put on its listening ears and be Listening Larry, which Happy doesn’t even understand.

Happy pulls on a pair of Toby’s boxers and a tee shirt whereas Toby settles for a pair of sweatpants and the shirt Addie made him for his last birthday. And by Addie, Happy means her. It’s a scanned picture of Addie covered in Ooblek. It’s hilarious.

“Okay, Addie, time for –”

“Shh!” she exclaims. “The Pevadeez just met Mrs. and Mr. Beaver.”

“Pevensies,” Happy corrects.

“Shh!” Addie repeats.

Happy and Toby exchange a look over Eddie’s and Addie’s heads. Apparently they’re down for the night.

Toby turns out the lights and Addie squishes Eddie Teddy up against Happy, managing to squash her with a stuffed animal. When Toby comes back into bed, Addie stretches out to put her legs on his chest.

“Seriously?” he mumbles.

“Shh!” Addie exclaims.

“At least you don’t have a bear paw in your –”

“You’re being mean!” Addie shouts. “Still my birthday! I get my story.”

“Sorry, baby,” Toby whispers. “Happy birthday.”

Addie snuggles down again, accidentally smacking Happy in the head with Eddie Teddy’s leg. “Night night. Now Pevadeez.”

Happy doesn’t even bother to correct her – it’ll just end in an argument.

“Pevensies,” Toby says gently.

“Shh!”


	58. Addie, 2 years 2 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hearing that your child has a secret, one you don't know about, is the true meaning of worry.

“Mama,” Happy hears repeatedly alongside the pitter patter of Addie’s little feet.

She pushes at Toby’s shoulder.

“No way,” he mumbles, “she’s asking for Mama. That’s you, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe,” Happy replies. She sits up in time for Addie to giggle at her.

“Mama, I got out of bed.”

“I can see that, honey,” Happy says. She leans down and picks Addie up, setting her on her lap. “Go to sleep.”

“I sleep here?”

Happy shakes her head. “You have your big girl bed.”

“Same bed,” Addie says, already snuggling into Happy’s arms. “You just changed it.”

Happy sighs. “Addie.”

“Yes, Mommy?”

Happy’s going to punch Toby for teaching her that puppy dog expression. There’s got to be something in the Curtis genes to make it so they’re both so good at it. “Baby, you need to sleep in your bed in your room. We just painted that whole wall for you!”

“But this room has you, Mommy,” Addie says meaningfully.

Toby laughs so hard he shakes his bed. “Oh, kid,” he laughs, rolling over and opening his arms so Addie can curl inside them, “that flattery stuff isn’t going to work on your mom, sorry to say.”

Addie doesn’t respond.

“We know you’re awake, baby girl,” Toby says, running his hands through her hair.

“No, I’m sleep,” she says. “See? I snore.”                                                                

“You’re sleeping,” Happy gently corrects. “Daddy will tuck you in.”

Addie leaps up, tossing Toby’s arm around. “Daddy will?” she says. “Daddy tuck me in. And a story.”

Happy grins at Toby. “Tag, you’re it.”

She collapses back into the mattress as she hears Toby half curse her name, and she lets herself laugh for a second before she hears Addie says, “But I can’t sleep! I got a secret!”

Happy shoots up. “What?” The words she spoke as a child in fear to a teacher, the night before Oliver beat the hell out of her, words she said in fear with the desperation that someone would ask her what it was, echo in her ears. But the words are in Addie’s voice this time, something more haunting and painful than she could have imagined. “What secret, baby?”

Addie’s smile is too genuine and honest to be something scary, Happy tells herself. “You’re safe, right?”

Addie looks at her, completely befuddled. “I’m with you and Daddy,” Addie says. “Always safe.”

Happy sighs. “And your secret? Everyone’s safe?”

“Everyone is super smiley,” Addie insists.

Toby wordlessly picks Addie up and hands her to Happy, like he knows how much Happy needs to hold Addie right now, and he sits next to her.

Happy gathers Addie in her arms, trying to convince herself that everything’s fine, that if something was wrong she’d have seen the haunting fear in Addie’s eyes that permeated so many of Happy’s childhood photos. But Addie is smiling, if a little confused, and drumming out some beat on Happy’s collarbone.

“Addie, sweetheart,” Toby begins, his tone light but eyes serious, “can you tell me and Mommy what your secret is?”

“Nope,” Addie replies. “It’s a special secret.” She leans in. “A good special secret.”

“Okay,” Happy says, trying to remain calm, “who does your good special secret involve?”

Addie smiles. “Uncle Walter and Aunnie Paige.”

Keeping calm is no longer an option. “Okay,” Happy says. “Change of plans. We’re going to the garage early today.”

Addie looks at Toby quizzically. “Daddy, is Mommy mad at Uncle Walter?”

“A little bit,” Toby begins, “because we want to know what you know.”

“Not unless Uncle Walter says okay,” Addie says. “Secrets are safe.”

Happy stands, Addie on her hip, and begins digging through the piles of laundry they haven’t managed to put away in the past six weeks. “Addie, go with Daddy.”

She beams, reaching out to Toby. “Addie, Daddy, rhyme!” she announces.

Toby eyes her as she throws on her clothing. “Mommy, are you going to go decimate Walter?” Toby asks. He looks concerned.

“What’s dez-i-made mean?” Addie asks.

“Never mind, baby girl,” Happy says, throwing on her jacket. “We’re going to the garage now.”

“I’m not even dressed,” Toby says, frowning.

“Well, get dressed,” Happy says, because she trusts Walter, she does, but not knowing what Addie’s been holding for this long is hurting her. As much as Addie is sure it’s a good thing, Happy doesn’t know. She can’t be sure, never will be sure, and she thinks that’s got to be part of being a parent as much as it is being a person with the past she’s got. “We’ll make it a race, how’s that sound, Addie Grace?”

Addie nods, wiggling out of Toby’s arms. “Princess dress!” she announces, barreling into her bedroom.

“I’m freaking out,” Happy says when she and Toby are finally alone. She checks her hand – it’s shaking, just enough to worry her.

“She’s fine,” Toby says, pulling on his jeans. “It’s Walter. He’s not savvy enough to do anything stupid.”

“I just don’t like the idea of her being able to keep secrets from us,” Happy says. She wraps her arms around herself protectively, refusing to let how she views secrets bleed into her mind. “If she keeps good secrets from Walter to herself, what else could she keep down the line?”

Toby pauses with his arms half in his shirt. “We’re never going to let any of that happen,” he says. He sounds so sure of it that it worries Happy somehow more.

“Happy,” Toby says gently, pulling his shirt all the way on. He rests his hands on top of her arms, and she relaxes. “What happened to you is never going to happen to Addie.” He rests his hands on her cheeks. “You and I will never let it.”

Happy’s exhale is unsteady. “I know.” She knows the flashbacks should be veiling her vision, that she should be losing control right now. Instead, Toby’s certain expression is the only thing she’s seeing.

“And I’m scared of what could happen in the future, too,” Toby says, and she steps in closer to rest her head against his chest. In his thin shirt she can hear his heartbeat, steady and certain. “But right now, she’s safe.”

They hear Addie break into the chorus of Let It Go.

“You sure?” Happy grumbles. “Because I wouldn’t sing that song unless I was being tortured.”

Toby laughs, smoothing Happy’s hair out of her eyes. “Come on. I want to see you kicking Walter’s ass.”

“You think I should?”

“Oh, definitely,” Toby says, grabbing his jacket and wallet and walking out the door. “Any opportunity to kick Walter’s ass is a good one.”

Addie makes them blare The Addie Playlist at full volume so she can sing along to her favorite combination of Disney music, 90’s grunge, and classic rock.

“Should we be letting her listen to Nirvana now that she can memorize lyrics?” Toby asks, unbuckling his seatbelt as they pull into the garage driveway. “I feel like this is a parenting fail.”

“Whatever, she’s happy,” Happy replies. “And the lyrics aren’t wrong. She doesn’t have a gun.”

Toby looks at her. “We’re talking that one off the playlist,” he decides.

Happy pulls Addie out of her car seat as she sings what appears to be her own mashup of Smells Like Teen Spirit and Be Prepared from The Lion King.

“Why’d we end up with a music kid again?” Happy says as she unbuckles Addie. She barrels out of the car seat and races to the front door.

“Oh, this’ll be good,” Toby says, slinging the Addie Bag over his shoulder.

Addie runs into the garage yelling, “Uncle Walter! Mommy and Daddy know I got a secret!”

Happy and Toby walk in just in time to see Walter saying, “You’re not supposed to tell people if you have a secret, Addie. That’s the point of the secret.”

“No,” Happy says, stalking up to Walter. “You never tell my kid – my kid – to keep a secret from me. Ever again.”

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Walter says, looking from Toby to Happy in succession. “It’s a perfectly safe secret.”

Happy sighs. “I don’t give a f –” she cuts herself off when she gets a look at the way Addie’s looking at her. “Whatever secret you tell my kid, you tell me first. No exceptions.”

“Can I tell Mommy so she gets not sad?” Addie asks, looking worried.

“Oh, I’m not sad, baby, I’m just –” she cuts off. She doesn’t know what she is. Angry, furious, terrified, aching. She doesn’t want to live in a world where every waking moment is fear that Addie will have to live through what she did, but she also can’t let other people have her daughter keep secrets from her. “I want to make sure you’re always safe.”

“Uncle Walter’s just getting a ring for Auntie Paige,” Addie says. “Safe, right?”

Happy turns to Walter. “You’re proposing?”

“Po-za,” Addie repeats, nodding.

“You should have told us if you were involving our daughter,” Toby says. “We could have kept our mouths shut.”

“I highly doubt that,” Walter says. “Addie did a nice job until this morning.”

“Stop reminding me that you tried to have our kid keep a secret from us,” Happy snaps. “That is doing you absolutely no favors.”

Walter ducks his head, looking sheepish and cowed for the first time Happy’s seen it. “I think,” he says slowly, “I understand less of what it is like to be a parent than I thought, since Ralph is older.”

“You’ve got that right,” Happy bites back, but she calms when Addie reaches out for her. Happy leans down to pick her up, and Addie wraps her arms around her neck.

“It’s okay, Mommy, it’s a happy thing,” she says as Happy holds her on her hip, “no sad.”

“Never again,” she says to Walter. He nods. “Now, what can we do to help?”

“What?” Walter asks, looking startled. It’s a day of firsts.

“With the proposal,” Happy says. “Our kid is ridiculously cute. She’d be awesome in something like that.”

Addie wiggles with excitement. “Pozal!” she exclaims. “Wanna.”

“I want to,” Toby corrects.

“Wanna help!” Addie continues. “I help?”

“May I help,” Walter corrects.

Addie turns to him with the funniest glare on her tiny face Happy’s ever seen. “I talk my words!” she says forcefully.

It takes every ounce of willpower in Happy not to laugh. She knows that if she looks over at Toby, she’ll lose it, so instead she looks at Walter.

No help. Walter’s expression of complete shock nearly derails her.

“We’re just trying to make sure everyone understands you,” Happy manages to say with a straight face. Keeping it together is almost impossible. “You’re in preschool, honey, and we want them to know how many great ideas you have.”

“Then stop stopping my talking,” Addie demands. She looks directly at Walter with unbridled rage. “My words.”

“There’s no verb in that statement,” Walter says.

Addie increases the power of her glare. “You’re a verb!” she shoots back.

Happy sighs. “I think you accidentally just taught her an insult,” Happy says. “Congratulations.”

“Verb isn’t an insult,” Walter says. Addie keeps repeating “verb” at the top of her lungs, sounding more like “vub” as she keeps it up until she gets so exhausted she collapses against Happy’s shoulder and starts drooling in her sleep.

“Now it doesn’t even sound like a word,” Toby says. He turns to Walter. “Whenever you piss me off, I’m going to call you a verb.”

“Are you going to assist me in my proposal plan?” Walter asks.

Happy shrugs. “Sure.”

Walter smiles. “Then you can call me a verb whenever you would like.”

“Alright, you big verb,” Toby says, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s hear the plan.”

~

It’s a good plan.

It’s a really, really good plan.

“Why can’t we get our shit together enough to do a proposal like this?” Happy whispers to Toby as they watch Paige walk into the garage with absolute amazement, looking around at the candles and dimly lit garage. “We both tried it and we both sucked at it.”

“We were terrible,” Toby agrees. “How is Walter the smooth one?”

“Because he’s brought our kid into it, and she’s so cute nobody could resist,” Happy says.

“It didn’t work with my attempt,” Toby grumbles as Paige finds the note Walter left on the table.

“That’s only because she had the stomach flu and was too little to remember what you wanted her to say,” Happy says. “Though, it would have been nice to have gotten proposed to when my kid wasn’t vomiting all over my shoes.”

“And yet you somehow looked beautiful,” Toby says, kissing her forehead.

Happy laughs. “Thanks for lying.”

“It wasn’t a lie,” Toby insists, “but any time.”

They watch as Addie practically runs out from where Walter was hiding, and yanks at Paige’s arm.

“What’s up, Addie girl?” Paige asks her. “Everything okay?”

“It’s all dandy,” Addie says.

Toby snorts, and Happy has to elbow him in the ribs to shut him up.

“Where did she get that from?” he asks Happy.

“I have no idea. Maybe my dad,” Happy says. “Because nobody here says it.”

Toby’s jaw drops. “No, she got that from Derek,” he realizes. “That’s his favorite script – from some movie he saw ages ago – when he’s really excited about something, he says ‘it’s all dandy.’”

Happy nods. “In that case, if that’s what Addie picks up from him, he can visit any time.”

Addie pulls at Paige’s hand and pulls her, just in time for Walter to stand up from his hiding space with a nervous smile.

Happy’s glad Toby was there to help Walter with the speech, because before Toby gave his suggestions, it was a little robotic and confused. With a little bit of flair (and Addie’s suggestion of, “Say I love you, that works always”) they managed to create a speech that had Walter tearing up and Paige crying while Addie fidgeted.

“She’s about to bolt over here,” Happy mutters. “Watch.”

“You can’t know that,” Toby says. “She probably just has to use the potty. And she knows where that is.”

Happy turns to him. “Thirty seconds. Tops. And she’ll be over here with us.”

“If I were a betting man, I’d bet on that,” Toby says.

Happy pinches his arm. “Not even joking about that.”

Sure enough, Addie books it over to where Toby and Happy are hiding just as Walter’s opened up the ring. Paige is too preoccupied to notice that Addie’s made it over to their hiding space.

“Mommy,” Addie says, reaching up for Happy to pick her up. Happy settles her on her hip. “Mommy, he asks the pozal!”

“Proposal,” Happy corrects.

Addie nods. “Yeah, he asks it.”

“Asked it,” Happy corrects.

Addie nods again.

“How come Mommy can correct you?” Toby asks, looking a bit hurt.

“Still my words,” Addie insists, “just smart.”

This time Happy snorts. “Because I’m the smart one,” she reiterates.

“Thanks for rubbing that in.”

They look over to Walter and Paige, and he’s sliding the ring on her finger.

“His proposal creamed both of ours put together,” Toby says in awe. “We’re going to have to really do a good job next time.”

Happy shrugs. “I mean,” she holds up her right hand. “I do still have a ring.”

“Pretty, Mommy,” Addie says authoritatively.

“Mommy is pretty, or the ring is pretty?” Toby asks.

Addie shrugs. “Both, I guess.”

“You guess,” Toby says, bopping her on the nose, “that’s my fiancée you’re talking about.”

Addie looks at him. “Doesn’t count,” she insists. “Because I got sick.”

“You remember that?” Happy asks, looking at Addie in disbelief. “You were eighteen months old.”

Addie nods, tapping her tummy. “I had a boo boo belly.”

“I know you’re here,” Paige calls across the garage. “You guys can come out now.”

Addie wiggles in Happy’s arms until Happy sets her down, and she grabs Toby’s and Happy’s hands. “We gotta see the ring!” Addie explains, practically dragging them across the room.

“Congratulations,” Toby says, stumbling after Addie.

Happy practically trips over a carpet as Addie, elated and giddy, bounces and begins flapping her hands in excitement. She ends up smacking Walter in the back of the thigh.

“Safe hands, Addie Grace,” Happy says, but she’s secretly over the moon at the expression of complete confusion on Walter’s face.

“Addie girl,” Paige says, kneeling in front of her, “I have a very important question to ask you.”

“Yeah, Aunnie Paige?” she asks, clapping her hands together. In her bright blue leggings and neon orange dress, Addie is positively shining in the dark room. Happy can’t take her eyes off the complete joy on Addie’s face, the giant smile that will be in her sweetest dreams for the rest of her life.

“Will you be my flower girl?” Paige says.

Addie squeals and dives toward Paige, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “I thought you’d never ask!” she exclaims.

“You’d think she’s the one getting the proposal,” Toby mutters. Happy chuckles.

“Mommy!” says Addie, grabbing at Happy’s pant leg. “Mommy, I need a dress. I’m flower girl!”

“I know,” Happy says, reaching down and picking Addie up. She settles her on her hip, and Addie claps a few more times. “Are you excited, Addie Grace?”

“So, so!” Addie replies. She wiggles, and Happy’s pretty pleased that she’s managing to hold onto her. “I get to be flower girl!”

“Yes you do, baby girl,” Toby says.

Happy looks at Toby. “You not Mommy,” she says definitively. “Mommy takes me to get my dress.”

“Mommy does?” Happy asks. “Mommy doesn’t wear dresses.”

Addie pats her cheek in an action that somehow manages to be both charming and aggressively patronizing. “Mommy will wear dresses,” Addie says. “I will make her.”

Toby snorts.

“Way to be on my side, jerk,” Happy says, raising her eyebrows at him.

Toby shrugs. “Maybe I want to see you in a dress,” he says. He turns to Paige. “We’re wrestling her into a bridesmaid dress, right?”

“Oh, definitely,” Paige agrees.

“Do I get a say in this?” Happy asks, and she’s not proud to admit that she’s sort of whining.

“No,” Addie, Paige, and Toby say in tandem.

Happy sighs. “You’re all the worst.”


	59. Addie, 2 years 4 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of your child's scream in the middle of the night can terrorize you worse than anything else.

Happy wakes up to a blood curdling scream coming from Addie’s bedroom. Before she’s fully conscious, she bolts out of the bed, runs into Addie’s room, and scoops Addie up into her arms.

“What’s wrong, Addie?” she asks. Addie keeps screaming and crying, but doesn’t seem to be awake.

Toby walks in the door seconds later, looking worried. “What’s going on?” He starts checking on Addie, making sure there aren’t any injuries or damage done.

“Is she okay?” Happy asks, bouncing Addie. “What happened?”

“Nothing seems to be wrong,” Toby replies over the shrieks. “This is most likely night terrors.”

“Nightmares do not look like this,” Happy insists.

“Here, let me –” He takes the still-wailing toddler and wraps her up in her blanket, almost like a swaddle when she was a tiny baby. Addie’s still wailing and screaming, but the unsafe flailing has stopped. “Night terrors,” Toby repeats. “Just horrible, scary dreams that toddlers get. Usually,” he presses a kiss to Addie’s forehead, “the kids grow out of them, but they tend to be genetic.” He rocks Addie as the three of them walk back into their bedroom. Addie calms down slightly, the screams turning into whimpers and the wails turning into only tears. Happy reaches to take Addie, because she can’t just stand here when her child is in such agony. Addie curls into Happy’s chest, limbs locking around Happy’s body like an octopus.

“What do you mean, they’re genetic?”

“I mean,” Toby curls into bed next to Happy, “that, if a child has night terrors, a parent probably had them too.” He looks at Happy. “Do you know if you had a night terrors as a toddler?”

Happy’s quiet for a minute. “No clue,” she says quietly. “Think my dad might know?”

“He might,” Toby says, rubbing Addie’s back. “I would definitely ask him, though. If anyone would know, he would.”

They’re quiet for a few moments. “Tomorrow’s a Tuesday, right?” Toby nods. “You think we might want to keep her home from preschool tomorrow?”

Toby flops back on the mattress. “I don’t know,” he says after some time. “I think we’ll have to make that decision in the morning.” He leans over and kisses Addie’s cheek. “I want to see how our girl feels when she wakes up.”

They all fall asleep in their big bed, Addie clinging to Happy all night with whimpers and a few tears on and off. Happy hardly sleeps for more than fifteen minutes at a time, waking up with a jolt whenever Addie moves or makes a sound. She finally falls asleep at six in the morning, until Toby’s alarm starts playing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song.

Addie makes an annoyed little whimper as she burrows her face under Happy’s arm. “Too loud, Mama,” she mumbles. Happy doesn’t think she’s even fully awake.

Happy shushes her. “You don’t need to be awake now, baby. Go back to sleep.” She looks over at Toby and pokes him in the arm. “Doc, wake up. That was your alarm.”

Toby rolls over. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, but we have work and Addie has school.”

Toby rolls over, a rather dopey look on his face. “Or, you know. We don’t and she doesn’t.”

“That wasn’t English,” Happy says with a sigh.

“We don’t have any cases,” Toby reaches out and pulls Happy close, “it’s a boring Tuesday where nothing is happening, and none of us got any sleep last night.” He closes his eyes. “We’re calling in sick today.”

Happy yawns. “Okay. You call Walter, and I’ll call the preschool.”

Toby groans. “Can’t I call the preschool? Miss Marie isn’t condescending.”

“That’s why I get to call her,” Happy replies. “Because I say so.”

Toby opens his eyes and pouts. “Fine.”

Happy’s phone call with Marie, Addie’s preschool teacher, takes thirty seconds. Toby’s with Walter takes ten minutes and multiple instances of Toby saying, “Okay, but a nice boss would give us the day off.”

Eventually Walter relents and Happy gets a text from Paige saying Walter called the day off for the entire time with a smiley face and a, “THANK YOU.”

“This might be the best idea you’ve had in a long time,” Happy mumbles. She can already feel her eyelids growing heavier. “Thanks for that.”

“No problem. Now I’m going back to sleep.”

Addie rolls off of Happy’s chest and snuggles up in between Happy and Toby, a hand curled around either one of their shirts. Happy moves closer to Addie and watches as Addie dozes off, finally calm for the first time since Happy was woken up by her screams.

“She’s okay, Hap,” Toby mumbles. Happy looks up – she hadn’t even realized that he was still awake.

“Hmm?”

“She’s okay,” Toby repeats. “Night terrors are hard, but most kids grow out of them. And she has us. She’s not going to have too much trouble beyond her toddler years.”

Happy can’t help but look down at Addie. “I’m just not sure I can hear her scream like that again.”

“Just remember that she’s safe, and that she probably won’t remember it when she wakes up in the morning.”

“She won’t?”

Toby shakes his head. “Usually we remember dreams in our REM stage of sleep. These night terrors tend to last in stages 2 or 3, which are mostly very emotional and less structured.”

Happy nods, running her hand up and down Addie’s back. “She won’t remember it,” she says quietly, “but I’ll never get that scream out of my head.”

“Aw,” Toby says. “Hap, babe, come here.”

“Don’t call me babe,” Happy grumbles, but she lets Toby scoop up Addie and pull Happy close.

He starts babbling about nothing, one hand on Addie’s back and the other wrapped around Happy. He starts telling stories about his time as a teenage in med school, really crazy stories that Happy’s never heard before, until Happy’s all but forgotten the sound of Addie’s screams and is ready to fall back asleep.

“We’re going to have a lazy day today,” Toby decides. “Just snuggles and sleep and maybe some TV. That’s what we’re doing.”

Happy nods. “Yeah, so shut up so I can do the sleep part of it.”

His laugh is soft and honest, the kind of laugh that always warms Happy up inside. “Anything for you,” he promises.

~

Happy wakes up hours later to Addie and Toby watching Sofia the First on his tablet, singing the theme song with surprising accuracy. And not just Addie.

“How do you know this song?” Happy mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.

“I’m a genius, I hear a song once and I know every tune and lyric for the rest of my life,” he replies. “Also, I’ve seen this show about eighty times in the past few months. My life is Sofia the First and Doc McStuffins and Elena of Avalor, and all of their catchy theme songs.”

Happy nods, shifting so she’s comfortable.

“Mommy, no more sleep,” Addie decides, pulling on the sleeve of Happy’s shirt. “We watch together.”

“Can’t we sleep together?” Happy whines. “Mommy wants to sleep.”

Addie sighs, sounding far older than she is. “Fine, sweetie, but only five more minutes.”

Happy sits up straight. “What was that?”

Toby’s laughing. “I think she’s repeating what we say to her when she wants to stay asleep in the morning.”

“Well, I’m sure awake now,” Happy decides. “Hey, what about breakfast?”

Addie nods. “Cheerios!” she says, clapping her hands.

Happy fights back the urge to groan. “Are you sure you don’t want something else? Daddy could make pancakes.”

“Cheerios!” Addie says excitedly. She looks over at Toby. “Cheerios are the best, Daddy. Tell Mommy.”

Toby shrugs in Happy’s direction. “I feel like I can’t win in this scenario.”

Happy gets up and gets Addie a bowl of Cheerios while Toby brings Addie, her blanket, and all of her stuffed animals into the living room. They’ve been getting Addie used to eating at the kitchen table, but today’s special. They can eat in the living room.

Happy grabs a banana for herself and an apple for Toby, a not so subtle hint that she’s hoping that Toby will make them omelets, and settles on the couch next to Addie.

Addie eats her Cheerios with a big grin, dribbling down the front of her shirt like she’s never been happier to eat anything else.

“Hold on, baby girl,” Toby says, moving all of Addie’s clothes and settling her on the ground. “We need to clean up this little mess.”

“What mess?” Addie asks. Then, in a moment Happy wishes she could have filmed, Addie says, “There’s no mess!” as she throws her hand in the air, knocks the bowl of Cheerios out of Toby’s hands. The Cheerios and milk go all over Toby, and it’s funnier than it should be. Happy manages not to laugh.

“Oh, god,” says Toby, his head in his hands. “Honey, you’re going to drive me –”

“Me, Daddy?” Addie asks innocently.

“Yes, you,” Toby replies, turning to her.

With the most honest expression, Addie says, “But I can’t even drive.”

Happy knows she should be all solidarity with Toby. She shouldn’t laugh.

She’s laughing so hard her stomach hurts.

Addie starts laughing along, but it doesn’t really seem like she knows why.

Toby, on the other hand, is still sitting in a pool of cereal and milk, looking like he’s ready to rip his own head off. “Can I get help over here?” he asks. “Or at least paper towels?”

Happy throws the entire roll at him and nails him right in the head. She didn’t know it was possible, but Addie starts laughing even harder to the point where she starts coughing.

“Okay, you, calm down,” Happy says, resting a hand on Addie’s back. “Breathe, Addie.”

It devolves into hiccups, which is only soothed by an unnecessarily huge spoonful of peanut butter that Addie insisted she get for herself, and while she’s happily eating while she kicks her legs, Happy helps Toby with the mess.

“I think this is harder to fix than that time with the satellite,” Toby grumbles, trying to pick a thousand cheerios out of the rug.

“Can’t we just throw the rug away?” Happy asks. “It’s useless at this point.”

“You’ve got a point there,” says Toby. He rolls slightly to find another set of Cheerios that had been under his butt. “I swear, they’re reproducing.”

They hear Addie singing on her chair. “Mommy Daddy?” she asks.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Toby says, brushing Cheerios off his butt. Happy slaps his ass once, just to help get the dust off. He glares at her.

“What?” she says innocently.

“Daddy, Mommy’s got a Cheerio in her hair,” Addie says, ignoring Happy. “You should help her.”

“Oh, Mommy’s got a Cheerio in her hair,” Toby says, dripping milk all over the place, “but when Daddy’s covered in milk and cereal, that’s no big deal.”

Addie grins and nods. “Daddy’s silly. Mommy’s not silly. She can’t have the Cheerio hair.”

“And Daddy can have Cheerio hair?” Toby asks.

Addie nods again, swinging her little legs. The grin disappears when she slips, but Toby’s there in less than a second, swooping Addie up in his arms.

“Daddy,” Addie says. “I fell.”

“But I caught you,” he says, kissing her nose. “All better.”

“Daddy, you have Cheerios all over me,” Addie says. “I am not a Cheerio.”

“Maybe you are,” Happy jokes.

Addie’s eyes widen. “I’m not a Cheerio,” she says, sounding horrified.

“No, no, you’re our Addie,” Toby says, shooting Happy a look. “Toddlers apparently can have existential crises.”

“Not a Cheerio,” Addie says burying her face in Toby’s shoulder. She splutters when her face meets the damp piece of his shirt. “No! Too wet. Too wet!”

“And cue the meltdown,” Happy says. She reaches out and takes Addie just as she starts crying.

“Time for a nap, Addie Grace,” Happy says. “Um, first a bath.”

“No bath!” Addie says. “I feel sticky!”

“A bath will help with that,” Happy says. “I promise. It works.”

“No, Mommy,” Addie says. “No bath.”

Ten minutes later, the compromise is baby wipes and pajamas, and Toby’s the one in the shower.

“Mommy?” Addie says, snuggling into her shoulder. They’ve reached the point of complete exhaustion for Addie and a mild headache for Happy. But the exhaustion makes Addie cuddly, and if she gets to bed early, she might sleep longer than usual.

“Yeah, baby?” Happy asks, rocking more gently in the rocking chair.

“There still Cheerios in the living room.”

“I know that, Addie,” Happy says, trying to keep her cool. “We’ll take care of it in the morning.”

Addie sighs. “It’ll get into the carpet.”  It’s so disturbingly adult that Happy jolts.

“What did you just say?” she asks, bewildered.

“That’s what Aunnie Paige said when I spilled milk on her floor,” Addie replies. “I go mop-mop with the towels and then she said, ‘It’ll get into the carpet.’”

“Was that,” Happy tries to think of the last time Addie was on her own with Paige. “Honey, when was that?”

“Long time,” Addie decides. “I was little. Ralphie babysat me.”

“When you were, like, a year and a half?” Happy asks, remembering the moment. “That’s incredible.”

Addie nods and pats her head. “I had my bow in.”

Happy sighs. “Paige loved that bow.”

“I like that bow,” Addie decides. “Do I get more bows?”

“If you want more bows,” Happy replies. She kisses the top of Addie’s head. “What color is your favorite bow?”

Happy thinks about it. “I like purple best, because my blankie,” she holds up her blanket, “but I like blue bows best, because Aunnie Pay says I pretty in blue.”

“You’re pretty in every color,” Happy says. “And prettiest when you are happy and kind.”

Addie leans against Happy’s shoulder. “Mommy, I sleepy.”

“That’s okay.” Happy runs her hands through Addie’s hair, watching as Addie relaxes and closes her eyes, cuddling closer into Happy. She rarely does this, and moments where Addie wants to be still and snuggly are things Happy wouldn’t let go for the world. “I’m sleepy too. Want to have a nap on the couch?”

“No nap,” Addie says, but it’s mumbled and quiet, and Happy knows it’s the voice of a little girl who is about to fall asleep.

“What if I tell you a little story to help you sleep?” Happy asks.

“Daddy does stories,” Addie says. She opens her eyes, looking a little confused.

“Today I can tell you a story,” Happy says. She tells Addie a story about people fighting ghosts and being superhero best friends, and it’s halfway through before she realizes she’s retelling Ghostbusters in a way appropriate for a two year old.

“The whole world is plagiarism,” she mutters.

When Addie doesn’t respond, Happy realizes she’s fallen asleep, little hands curled around the edges of her blankie. Happy lets her eyes flutter closed too, and she sleeps, comfortable and content.

She wakes up again an hour and half later, half reclined into Toby’s lap with Addie sprawled out across Happy’s torso and legs.

“She’s really getting tall, isn’t she?” Toby says, rubbing Happy’s shoulders.

“Tall, my ass,” Happy replies. “She’s twenty-fifth percentile now. She’s smaller, comparatively, now than she was when she was born.”

Toby sighs. “Remember the day she was born?”

“Can’t forget it,” Happy replies. “Hurt like a bitch.”

“Language,” Toby singsongs. “But what I mean is – think of how little she was, how tiny and helpless and sleepy. And now,” they both look down at Addie, “I think this is the first time we’ve been awake when she’s asleep in ages.”

Happy nods. “Hey, you think she’ll wake up if I move?”

“No idea,” Toby replies. “I bet I could get her back to sleep, though. Any reason?”

“I’m going to give my dad a call,” Happy decides. “I’ve – I’ve got some questions.”

Toby kisses the top of her head. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Give me the octopus baby.”

Addie is a floppy, limbless baby doll when Happy settles her in Toby’s lap.

“Hey, I might get a nap now too,” Toby says, grinning at Happy. “Don’t wake us up.”

“If she sleeps past two hours she won’t sleep tonight,” Happy points out.

“Good point,” Toby says. “Wake us up in half an hour.”

“Good deal.”

Happy feels weirdly anxious dialing her dad’s number. Even since she remembered Shiny Happy People and she brought it up, she’s been a little strange around him. Asking about her mother, about her childhood, has seemed taboo. She doesn’t want to bring back memories that hurt, for either her or her father.

But this isn’t about Happy, or Grace, or Patrick anymore. All of this is about Addie, and Happy would put any of her own hesitations away to make sure Addie is happy.

“Happy!” Patrick says. “What’s going on? Everything still to plan?”

“Actually, Addie, Toby, and I are home today,” she says. She fiddles with the edge of her blanket.

“Playing hooky?” Patrick asks, grinning. “I thought it was my day to pick my girl up!”

“Yeah, of course,” Happy says. “I was just – I was wondering.” This shouldn’t be hard, she realizes. Asking things about her childhood should be normal, commonplace. But nothing about Happy’s childhood was normal. “Dad, what was I like as a baby?”

Patrick is quiet on the line for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“I know I started talking early, walking at an average time,” she begins, fiddling with the tassel on the side of one of Toby’s stupid throw pillows. “But – when I was a toddler. Did I have night terrors?”

More silence on the other line. “Yes,” Patrick finally says. “From when you were about two until two and a half. Not every night,” he clarifies. “But once or twice a week. You’d wake up screaming and wouldn’t settle for at least fifteen minutes, sometimes an hour. I’d have to rock you or put you in the car and drive around.”

“Addie’s having night terrors, too,” Happy says quietly. “How did you make them stop with me?”

“I didn’t,” Patrick says. “They just – they stopped on their own. I wasn’t very good at handling them, Happy. And for that I’m so sorry. I wish I could have done more.” Happy thinks she can see him pacing in the garage, walking back and forth in front of some car he’s working on. “You also liked baths, so I’d give you a bubble bath before bed every single night. It seemed to help, but sometimes it didn’t.”

Happy nods, then realizes there’s no way Patrick can see her over the phone. “Okay. Thanks, Dad. I’ll try that.”

“Any time,” Patrick assures her. “Oh, and Happy?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” he says. “Thank you for calling me with questions. It may sound silly, but it means a lot.”

Happy nods again. “Yeah. Dad. Um, instead of having Bampy Tuesday, would you want to come over and the four of us can have some sort of movie night?”

“Movie night?” Patrick asks. “Hap, it’s eleven-thirty in the morning.”

“Afternoon, then,” she laughs. “Look, I’m no good at this. A family day, I guess.”

“I’d love to, Happy,” Patrick says. “What time?”

“Let’s go with one, just because Addie’s going to need a nap and she might sleep when you get here. She likes you best, I think.”

“Oh, that’s not true,” Patrick says. “But I’ll see you at two.”

“Awesome,” Happy says. “See you then.”

She hangs up the phone.

“Hey, Toby,” she says, curling up against Addie, who’s still asleep. She looks comfortable and content where she is right now.

“Hi,” Toby says. “On the phone with your dad?”

Happy nods. “Told him to come over for a family movie night.”

“Hap, it’s not even noon yet,” he says, frowning.

Happy rolls her eyes. “It disturbs me that my father said the exact same thing.”

The expression on Toby’s face is almost worth the awkwardness of the two of them being similar. “Oh.”

“But, yeah. Movie afternoon,” she amends. “He’s coming over at two.”

Toby nods. He runs his hands up and down Addie’s back, and Happy’s heart just skips a little bit when she sees the look on his face. She forgets sometimes how in love he can look, the way he is so open and honest with the way he feels about Happy.

She likes the expression the most when she sees it aimed at Addie, because she understands where it’s coming from.

“She’s going to be so excited to see him,” he says. “She loves her Grampy.”

“She really does,” Happy agrees. “Hey, do you – do you want her to meet your family?”

Toby’s hand freezes. “What?”

“I met them when I was pregnant,” Happy says, kissing Addie on the forehead, “but they haven’t met Addie when she was, you know,” she strokes Addie’s hair, “a real person.”

Toby’s quiet for a moment. “Not yet,” Toby decides after some time. “When she’s old enough to decide.”

“But she loves your cousins,” Happy says. “Think she should meet more of them later on?”

“Emily and Derek are different,” Toby says, frowning. “I don’t think the rest – I’m worry about what they’ll say.”

“They didn’t say anything when I went to visit,” Happy says. “What do you mean?”

Toby purses his lips. “Hap, I never told you –”

“So tell me now,” she insists. “Addie’s asleep. We’ve got nothing else to do. Tell me.”

Toby looks incredibly pained, like something is grating at him. “Hap, they’re kind of racist.”

“So are many people,” Happy says. “That’s not news to me.”

Toby sighs. “I think – a lot of them were asking me how I could let Addie happen.”

Happy scoffs. “Tell them Fireball, sexually frustrated coworkers, and New Year’s Eve.”

Toby nods. “Funny, but not exactly what they meant.” He pulls Happy close, cradling her in his arms in a way so protective Happy’s not sure she’s seen it before. “Some of them are – they’re terrible,” he explains. “I don’t want the two people I love most to be anywhere near it.”

And then, like a masochist, Happy asks, “Near what?”

“They think having a biracial child is,” Toby pauses. “Well. They don’t approve.”

“Then fuck them,” Happy says. She looks at Addie’s perfect face as she sleeps, the best thing Happy’s ever done in her life, the most amazing and beautiful thing Happy’s ever seen in her life. “She’s the greatest thing this world has ever seen. If they don’t get it, they can burn in hell.”

“I’ll light the match,” Toby murmurs, pressing his lips to Addie’s head. “Have I ever told you guys how much I love you?”

“Yeah,” Happy says. “Like, all the time.”

Toby laughs. “Okay, point taken. But seriously.” He looks at the two of them. “You two are the best part of me.”

“And now you’re being sappy,” Happy retorts.

“If I’m being sappy, then you’re being defensive,” Toby replies. “So we’re both reverting to our natural habitats.”

“That’s fair,” Happy accepts.

Within a few minutes Addie starts to wake up.

“I get to sleep here?” Addie asks. “I like your bed.” She rolls off of Toby until she lay in between Toby and Happy. “Your bed is big.”

“It is big,” Happy replies. “And guess what else?”

Addie blinks drowsily. “What?”

“Bampy’s coming!” Toby says excitedly.

Addie frowns. “I have school, Daddy.”

“Today we don’t have school,” Toby explains. “We have a different plan today.”

“Bampy on a Tuesday?” Addie asks. “No school, but Bampy?” She claps. “I love Bampy!”

“I know you love Grampy, baby girl,” Happy says, scooping Addie up. “We’re thinking we can watch some movies and have some popcorn. Maybe do some painting?”

Addie’s eyes widen. “Mommy, I have the bestest idea.”

“You do?” Happy asks. “What’s your best idea?”

Addie claps her hands. “I want to show Bampy Ooblek!”

“That’s a great idea,” Happy says. “Would you like to go set it up?”

Addie shakes her head. “We gotta make it,” she insists. “Bampy has to see how to make it.”

Happy nods. “Understood.”

By the time Patrick gets there, Addie has completely reconstructed the recipe of Ooblek to include Agar gel to make it more wiggly.

“See, Mommy?” Addie says knowingly. “If you add the Eggie gel, it makes it more fun!”

“Yes, but it doesn’t – honey, it messes with the molecular –”

“It’s very cool, baby girl, but lets make some normal Ooblek to compare it too,” Toby interrupts.

Addie lights up. “This Ooblek has to be green. Just has to be.”

Patrick walks in with a smile on his face. “And what does my beautiful Gracie have today?”

Happy looks at him. “Gracie?”

Patrick’s grin immediately drops. “I – I won’t call her that if you don’t want. I just know you call her Addie Grace, and I – ”

“No,” Happy says, managing a smile. “No, it’s fine. You can call her Gracie if she likes it.”

“Gracie is a princess name,” Addie says, diligently working on her Ooblek concoction. She found out how to measure things out correctly and alter measurement depending on the amount of Ooblek desired. “I like Gracie.” She looks up at Patrick. “I’ll be Bampy’s Gracie.”

Patrick’s face breaks into such a delighted smile it feels like a punch to Happy’s chest. “Thanks, sweetheart.” He kisses Addie on the top of the head.

She shows him Ooblek until Toby’s phone playlist shifts to Frozen, and Addie herself freezes.

“Mommy,” she says very seriously, “We gotta watch Frozen.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sure Bampy –”

“I’d love to see Frozen,” Patrick says. He sounds honest.

“Oh, you’re going to regret saying that,” Toby mumbles.

Patrick does, very obviously, by the time they start carving the ice.

“Why is a child working in the ice business?” Patrick mutters to Happy.

She shakes her head, eyes locked on the TV like Addie’s arms are locked around Patrick’s waist. “No idea, Dad,” she mutters.

Luckily, their pain doesn’t last long. Addie falls asleep by the time Anna and Elsa start singing For the First Time in Forever. She seems content and comfortable in his arms, not a single sign of a night terror. It’s probably the best sleep Addie’s had all day.

“That didn’t take long,” Toby says, looking down at the drooling toddler. She’s draped all over Patrick’s lap. “Does this mean we can change the movie? Because, as much as I love our kid, this movie is actually going to make my brain melt out of my ears if I have to watch it again.”

“You just want to watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights for the thirtieth time,” Happy says, rolling her eyes.

“I love that movie!” Patrick exclaims. “Cary Elwes, Dave Chappelle. It’s one of the best Mel Brooks movies.”

“Stop being similar,” Happy winces, wrinkling her nose. “It freaks me out.”

"Okay, I get it," Toby pats Happy on the thigh. "We won't be that similar." He shoots a look over Happy's head to Patrick, and Happy is suddenly enraged about how damn short she is. “So Spaceballs?” Toby suggests.

Patrick grins. “Spaceballs.”


	60. Addie, 2 years 5 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dress shopping. Happy hates dress shopping.

The knock on the door had been loud enough to wake Addie but not Happy, so, instead, Happy was woken up by a two year old catapult landing on her body. It didn’t do great things for the ache in her knee.

Happy pulls open the door, yawning as she blinks herself awake.

Paige checks her watch. “It’s eight am on Monday, February 12th,” she says. She looks up at Happy. “Am I wrong?”

Happy yawns, pulling out her phone and checking it. “You’re not wrong,” Happy says. “Oh. Shit.” She looks at Addie. “I mean oh, fluff. The dress shopping.”

Paige nods. “We’ve got to be there by 9:30 to keep the triple appointment, and we don’t know the traffic.” She smiles apologetically. “You forgot, didn’t you.”

“No,” Happy lies. Paige raises her eyebrow knowingly. “Fine, I forgot. Blame Mom brain,” Happy mumbles, rubbing her eyes. “Let me get Addie dressed. You want some coffee?”

“Were you guys all asleep?” Paige asks as Happy invites her in. Addie reaches out and grabs Paige’s hand. “Because having a two year old who sleeps past sunrise is a miracle.”

“I sleeps long,” Addie explains. “In my big girl bed. I read books though. Lots and lots of books.”

Happy looks at Addie. “You were awake?”

Addie nods. “I read all the books while you and Daddy go sleep!”

Happy’s not sure if Addie’s serious or not. It would be just like this kid to learn how to read without telling Happy or Toby.

“Well, you need to get yourself awake, because we’re going shopping,” Paige says, kissing Addie’s cheek.

Addie straightens in Happy’s arms. “Dresses?” she asks. “We dresses today?”

Paige nods. “We’re getting dresses today, Addie girl!” she exclaims. “At least, I hope so.”

“Do I have to go?” Happy groans, setting Addie down and letting her run and sit next to Paige on the couch. “You can put me in a black trash bag and I’d be fine.”

“Mommy coming,” Addie insists, crawling into Paige’s lap. “Right, Aunnie Pay?”

Paige looks up at Happy. “Look at this cute little face,” she says, fake pouting. “Could you say no to this cute little face?”

Addie grins. “Yeah, Mommy. Come dress!”

Happy sighs and takes a sip of her coffee. “Well,” she says, because she doesn’t want to go but knows she has to, “alright. If you insist.”

Addie claps. “Yay, Mommy. I dress.” She jumps up and runs to her room.

Happy looks mournfully at the coffee she’ll have to leave on the table. “I better –”

“Oh, Happy, no,” Paige says. “I’ll help her get dressed. You get ready. And drink your coffee – you look like you’re still asleep.”

“No thanks to your early morning visit,” she replies. But Happy shoots Paige a thankful smile and goes back into the bedroom.

Toby’s still asleep in their bed, one arm curled around a pillow in the way he holds on to her. “Toby,” she says, sitting next to him on his side of the bed. “Toby, Addie and I –”

Still asleep, he reaches up and pulls her down close to him. “Love you,” he slurs. “Night, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe,” Happy says. “Doc, wake up.” He’s got his arms locked around her. She’s unreasonably comfortable, annoyingly warm, and she knows she should probably peel his arms off of her. But instead she tilts her head up and catches his lips. The plan is to wake him up, just a little bit, but her plan backfires when he unexpectedly deepens the kiss and slides his hands in her hair.

And that’s when Happy decides, “Fuck it,” because Addie’s hanging out with Paige and the traffic can’t be that bad. She counts time in her head, thirty seconds, sixty seconds, one hundred seconds, three hundred seconds, while she and Toby ignore the ticking of the clock. But it doesn’t take long before Happy is painfully aware of the time crunch from the way Addie squeals, “Aunnie Pay, like my dress?”

“Good morning,” Happy says as she pulls away from Toby. She presses another light kiss to his lips, unable to resist.

“Great morning,” Toby says. He’s smiling hugely as he trails his fingertips along her shoulders. “Can you wake me up like that always?”

Happy laughs. “Yeah, when it’s me waking you up and not Addie or the phone.” She kisses him again. “Look, I forgot Paige had all of us scheduled to go dress shopping.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “For the Waige wedding?”

“Stop calling them Waige,” Happy says. “That’s as weird as you calling us Quintis.”

“We are Quintis,” Toby says. “Hey, should we change our family’s last name to Quintis? That would be cool.”

“Focus, Doc,” Happy says. She sits up, and tries not to notice that she’s straddling his hips. They don’t often get time like this, and it’s incredibly tempting just to tell Paige to take Addie and stay here with Toby, spending the day in bed.

“Hard to,” he says. He settles his hands on her hips, thumbs brushing against the exposed skin between her tank top and pajama pants.

Happy makes herself get off the bed and stand. “Okay, we need to go,” she says, pushing her hair out of her face. “No more distracting me.”

“I mean, you don’t have to wear a dress,” Toby says, settling his hands on her waist. “You could be a bridesmaid in your motorcycle jacket and you’d still look good.” He smirks. “And that way we could stay here all day,” he runs his thumbs along Happy’s skin, “alone.”

“Hands off, Doc,” she says. “Otherwise Paige will kill me for letting you distract me.”

Toby drops his hands to his sides and pouts. “Okay,” he says with a sigh. “When will you guys be back?”

“Eventually,” Happy says. “Apparently our appointment is for an hour and a half since there’s three of us and Paige’s mom pulled some strings, but with the traffic –”

“Got it,” Toby says. “I’ll miss you guys.”

“We’ll be back,” Happy says. She leans in to kiss him one more time. “Love you.”

“I love you times infinity.”

“I love you infinity infinities!” Addie yells, sprinting into the bedroom. She’s dressed in tye dye leggings and a black and pink dress, baby combat boots rounding out the outfit.

“She picked the outfit,” Paige says. “I just helped tie the shoes.”

Addie nods. “Daddy, I put dress on myself.”

“Really?!” Toby exclaims, looking overly excited. “That’s wonderful!”

She dives at Toby, giving him a hug. “I love you, Daddy,” she says. “But Mommy and I go with Aunnie Pay to get dress.” She pats his cheek. “You home.”

“I’m staying home, yes,” Toby says, kissing her forehead. “Have fun.”

Addie nods. “Lots of fun!”

Happy grabs a couple items of clothing and changes in the bathroom, and when she comes out Addie’s eating a banana and listening as Paige tells a story with incredibly involved hand motions.

“She’s telling the one about how we saved that little boy from the cave,” Toby says to Happy, handing her a cup of coffee. She guzzles it down. “But don’t worry, it’s the nice version. No scary bits, just a happy ending.”

“Hopefully she mentions the part where you nearly cried on that motorcycle,” Happy says, bumping his hip with hers.

“Hey, you were a maniac on that hog,” Toby says. “It’s not my fault you drive like a hooligan.”

Once Happy finishes her coffee, Addie finishes her banana, and Paige finishes her story, the girls head out.

“Kiss, Daddy,” Addie says. Toby leans in and kisses her all over her face, and she giggles with such excitement that it absolutely warms Happy’s heart. At this age Happy was already jaded and broken hearted, haunted by the fact that she could tell her father didn’t know how to care for her. Addie, on the other hand, couldn’t be cheerier. It doesn’t hurt that she has Toby for a father.

“Later, Daddy!” Addie announces. “Dress now!”

They take Happy’s car, and Paige is immediately startled by the music choice.

“You’re playing your two year old AC/DC?” she asks.

Happy shrugs, taking the next exit. “You didn’t have a problem when we put it on when she was an infant.”

“Yeah, because she couldn’t possibly remember it back then,” Paige says.

Happy peeks in the rear view mirror to see Addie rocking out to Highway to Hell. “She seems fine to me.”

“She’s singing lyrics about how she’s on a highway to hell,” Paige says, deadpan. “You realize that your toddler daughter is singing about how she’s going to hell.”

“She doesn’t know what it’s about,” Happy insists. “You just like the song, don’t you, baby?”

“Yeah, Mommy.”

When the song switches over to I Just Can’t Wait to Be King, Paige looks even more distressed, especially when Addie knows every word.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Paige asks. “You can switch from classic rock to Disney music like that, without exploding?”

Happy shrugs. “It’s not the worst thing in the world. Plus,” she nods back at Addie. “She loves it.”

Paige’s grin is ridiculous. “Or maybe somebody just secretly loves Disney movies.”

“I barely watched them as a kid, so sue me,” Happy replies. It’s about three more lines before all three of them are singing Lion King at the top of their lungs, Addie’s voice the loudest and clearest.

“Addie girl, you and I are going to be singers together, aren’t we,” Paige says, turning in her seat. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

“I play drums,” Addie says. Happy peeks in the rearview mirror to see her daughter nodding insistently. “You sing.”

“We can both sing,” Paige explains. “Do you know, Addie, I just came up with an idea!”

“We play music like ABCD?” Addie asks.

Happy tries not to laugh.

“Yes,” Paige says. “But I was also thinking, if you would like, you could sing with me at my wedding.”

Addie grows so silent that Happy gets a little bit concerned, but when she peeks at Addie in the rearview mirror she’s got an expression of pure delight.

“Really?” she asks, her eyes widening. “I sing? In my dress?”

“Yes, sweetheart, you can sing in your dress,” Paige says.

Addie begins flapping her arms and wiggling in excitement. “I sing in my dress!”

It’s another twenty minutes before they get to the bridal shop, five minutes before they find a place to park, and Addie’s so excited by the time they get her out of the car that she kicks Happy in the shoulder.

“Okay, ow,” Happy says with a wince. “Was that safe? At all?”

Addie shakes her head, expression sheepish. “No, Mommy. Sorry.”

“Do you want to hold my hand or Auntie Paige’s hand as we cross the street?”

“Aunnie Pay and Mommy,” Addie says definitively. “Two hands.”

“Alrighty then,” Paige says. “Let’s do this.”

Happy and Paige check Addie three times to make sure she doesn’t have any kind of food or paint on her clothing, and then they bring her into the store. Madonna’s Like a Virgin is blaring through the speakers, which strikes Happy as a little weird.

“Mommy, I like this song,” Addie says, swinging Happy’s arms as she walks. “It’s a fun song.”

“It is a fun song,” Happy says, wincing. “So fun.”

Addie hums along, picking up every note like she always does, until the consultant comes out.

“Well, aren’t you adorable,” she says, leaning down to Addie’s level. “What’s your name?”

“My name is Adalyn Grace Curtis Quinn, but everybody calls me Addie. I live on –”

“Oh, no, not all that information, Addie,” Happy says, resting a hand on Addie’s shoulder.

“Hi, I’m Madison,” the consultant says, standing up. “Which one of you is Paige?”

“That’s me,” Paige says, waving in her usual perky manner. Happy doesn’t think she’s nice to even Toby, let alone a complete stranger.

“Congratulations,” Madison says. She’s always smiling. Happy does not understand a world where the people always smile. “And you’re our triple appointment for,” she looks at the paperwork in her hands, “bride, bridesmaid, and flower girl, right?”

“I’m the flower girl!” Addie pipes in.

“I could never have guessed,” Madison says with a grin. “And your name, bridesmaid?” she asks Happy.

“I’m Happy.”

Madison blinks. “I’m glad to hear it?”

“No, that’s – that’s her name,” Paige explains. “Her name is Happy.”

Madison blinks. “Okay,” she says slowly. “So we have Paige, Happy, and Addie. Who would like to go first?”

They all look down at Addie, whose face is going nearly red with excitement as she tries to contain herself.

“Addie Grace, would you like to go first?” Happy asks.

Addie nods so hard her pigtails go ballistic. “I would like to go first!” she exclaims. “I would. I would.”

“Then you, Miss Addie, may go first,” Madison says. She turns to Paige and Happy. “Let’s first discuss color schemes.”

“Pink and green!” Addie says. “Bright pink!”

“It’s rose and sage,” Paige clarifies. “My mom picked them out.” Happy’s no psych, but she’d have to be blind to miss the look of derision on Paige’s face.

“What color are you thinking for your dress?” Madison asks. “I only ask because that is a big factor in choosing the flower girl dresses.”

“That’s my dress!” Addie interrupts.

“Yes, Addie, no interrupting,” Happy says quietly.

“Sorry,” Addie mutters.

“My mother wants me to go for stark white, but I’m thinking I could work with ivory, blush or cream,” Paige says.

Happy blinks. “Those aren’t all white?”

“No,” Paige says. “Oh, you sweet, sweet child. You’re so lucky you haven’t been screamed at regarding the differences in colors.”

“This is why Toby and I didn’t get married before Addie,” Happy mutters.

“So we’ll go with white or cream for now, and if you find your dress today then we can choose the right color for Addie, sound good?”

Addie begins bouncing on her heels. “Dress now?”

“Yes.”

They go through six dresses, ones that Addie likes but Paige clearly can’t stand, ones that Happy thinks are absurd, and ones that all three of them hate, before Addie gasps and says, “Oh, Mommy. I love it!”

“Addie, you haven’t even tried it on yet.”

“I don’t care,” she says, looking awestruck. “It’s the beautifulest.”

The dress is bright white with a dark pink sash around the waist, a giant bow on the back. The top is a lacy flower pattern, the bottom is fluffy tulle with layers upon layers. Addie can’t take her eyes off of it.

“Do you want to try it on, Addie?” Happy asks. She’s not sure where this is going. She knows what happens with Addie when she really likes something – she gets so excited she sort of melts down.

Addie nods, pigtails going all over the place. “I would like to try it on.”

Between Madison and Happy they manage to wrangle the dress over Addie’s shoulders. Happy tries to tie the bow and messes it up, so Madison teaches her how to do it correctly.

“I’m a genius,” Happy grumbles on her third try. “I can put together and take apart every engine I’ve seen, and yet I can’t tie a stupid bow on a stupid dress.”

“Mommy, that’s a bad word,” Addie says matter of factly.

“Yes, it is,” Happy concedes. “But, also, this bow is ridiculous.”

“The bow is pretty,” Addie says.

“Yes, it is,” Happy sighs, resigned.

Addie walks out and twirls. “Do you like it, Aunnie Pay?”

Paige claps. “Oh, Addie girl, you look absolutely perfect!” She sighs. “You are going to make the most beautiful flower girl the world has ever seen.”

“I like this dress,” Addie says, looking up at Happy. “I want it forever.”

“Let me check the –” Happy nearly falls over at the price tag. “Uh. Paige. Can I talk to you for a minute? Like a now minute?”

Paige nods while Addie twirls for Madison. Happy’s still got an eye on her, but she’s out of earshot.

“That baby dress is one hundred eight-seven dollars.” She shakes her head. “I have never purchased any item of clothing that expensive.”

“What about that leather jacket?” Paige gestures to Happy’s sleeve. “I’m no genius, but I know my brands, and that’s a four hundred dollar jacket.”

Happy can’t meet her eyes. “Uh. I found it?”

“You found it?” The amount of skepticism in Paige’s eyes disarms Happy. And she feels almost like she’s speaking to her mother – something Happy’s never felt before. It’s weird. And it makes her tell the truth.

“I might have stolen it when I was twenty-one,” she mumbles.

Paige sighs. “Look, I’m not even going to touch that. But if you need help paying for the dress, my mom can help.”

Happy doesn’t know where this is going. “Do we like your mom?”

Paige considers it. “Uh. No. Not really, at least. But she is making this wedding all about her, so if I tell her the flower girl can’t afford the dress, then we’ll figure something out.”

“I don’t want to accept charity,” Happy begins.

“It’s not charity,” Paige says. “Think of it as taking advantage of my unkind and, frankly, judgmental mother.”

“I don’t know if I feel too comfortable doing that.” Happy glances over at Addie, who is doing a very specific dance as she sings Smells Like Team Spirit and, it appears, terrifying Madison. “I think we can swing it. I think.”

“If not,” Paige leans in close, “take advantage of my mother. She hates me for having a child out of wedlock but loves Ralph, so it’s weirdly bittersweet.”

“You are just a treasure trove of weird backstories, aren’t you, Paige?”

She nods. “You don’t even want to know what I did my first two months of college.”

They decide that Addie’s sash will be rose and the dress cream, which will work for colors even if Paige’s dress is white.

“I have the prettiest dress in the world,” Addie says, spinning. She stumbles, landing against Happy’s knees. “Mommy, I’m dizzy.”

“You’re dizzy because you’re spinning.” Happy picks Addie up and sets her on a chair. “Now we need to get you out of your dress and we’ll get your very special one soon, sound good?”

Addie looks heartbroken. “I don’t get to keep this dress?”

“Not this one,” Madison says. “This is one that everyone gets to try on. You get your own special-made dress soon.”

Happy mouths, “thank you,” over Addie’s head, as she started to take off the dress the second she realized she’d be getting her own special dress later on.

Next up was Happy, who was extremely resistant to trying anything on and only relented when Paige threatened to call Toby and tell him she was being annoying.

Happy groans. “Fine, but I won’t pick it. You choose a dress.”

“I’ll choose two and you choose between the two of them,” Paige grumbles, “deal?”

“But I –”

“Mommy, I will choose,” Addie says, sounding exasperated. “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

Happy blinks. “Did you just – did you – what?”

“Mommy was having a temper tantrum,” Addie explains, looking over at Madison and Paige. “She doesn’t like going shopping.”

It’s enough to shut Happy up and get her into a dress. She has to admit, she doesn’t look too bad in a satin rose-colored strapless sheath. Even though the last time she wore a dress was that time she went undercover.

“What do you guys think?” Happy asks.

“Spin, Mommy,” Addie insists.

Happy rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine, I’ll spin.” She does as her daughter instructs.

“Not right, Mommy,” Addie says, frowning. “Try another.”

“Do I have to?” Happy asks.

Addie nods. “Gotta.”

The next dress Happy tries on has little cap sleeves, a column design that hugs her until the waist and then floats out at the hip. She’s a little impressed.

“Damn,” Happy mumbles, looking at herself. She spins, without any prompting from her daughter. “This doesn’t suck.”

She walks out. “Thoughts?”

Paige and Addie both have their jaws to the floor.

“Is that a good thing?” Happy asks, frowning. “Or should I be worried?”

“Mommy, you’re the prettiest,” Addie breathes.

“Thanks, kiddo,” Happy says.

“Seriously, Happy, go with that dress,” Paige insists. “That looks great.”

Happy spins again, watching the dress float out around her. “You think so?”

“Yes!” Paige and Addie insists.

“Mommy, you’ll be the prettiest,” Addie insists.

Paige coughs.

“Um, Aunnie Pay will be prettiest,” Addie corrects. “Because she’s getting married to Uncle Wally.”

“Good move, kid,” Happy says pointedly.

Happy’s got to admit, she’s yawning when Paige spends fifteen minutes in the dressing room. It can’t be possible that she’s taking this long trying on a single dress.

That’s when Paige pokes her head out of the dressing room. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Happy says, sitting up and blinking herself awake. “I wasn’t napping, for the record. I was resting my eyes.”

“Sure,” Paige says. “You think you can help me decide on a dress or do I need to call in somebody else?”

“Considering I almost fell asleep when you were trying on one dress, not sure.” Happy figures honesty is the best move.

Paige rolls her eyes. “It was six dresses, thank you very much, and this was the only one I liked.” Her smile breaks into something more vulnerable. “I think it’s the dress.”

“Show me, Aunnie Pay!” Addie exclaims. She practically bounces in Happy’s lap, clapping excitedly. “I wanna see!”

Paige walks out in a dress that hugs her body down to her knees, splaying out in a puff of tulle. Happy would hate it for herself – too much puff – but for Paige, it’s perfect. Strapless and satin with ruching along the bodice, Paige looks like she was born to wear this.

“Thoughts?”

“You’re even prettier than Mommy,” Addie says reverently. She’s staring up at Paige like she’s never seen anything like her.

“You look great, Paige,” Happy says. “I mean, seriously. I wouldn’t wear it, but it looks great on you.”

Paige’s smile falters. “Close to the right thing to say, Happy, and I’m impressed. Thank you.”

“You look great!” Happy replies. “I swear. I just don’t get dresses as a concept. You can’t fix a car in a dress.”

Paige laughs, the smile coming back. “This is why I brought you,” she says. “It’s not that you can’t lie – it’s that you just choose not to.”

Addie stands up. “Aunnie Pay, can I touch your dress?”

Paige turns to Madison, who nods. “Of course, kiddo,” Madison says.

Addie’s touch is careful and slow, like she’s afraid she’s going to tear the fabric. “I love your dress,” Addie says. “It’s perfect.”

“And I brought you,” Paige says, leaning down to kiss the top of Addie’s head, “because I knew you would have the best taste in dresses.” She stands up. “Addie girl, is this my dress?”

Addie nods slowly, fingertips still running along the tulle of the bottom of the dress. “It’s perfect,” she repeats.

Paige laughs. “Then it’s settled,” she rests a hand on Addie’s head, “Addie’s made her decision. This is my dress.”

“I make the best choices,” Addie says, nodding wisely.


	61. Addie, 2 years 7 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addie gets her flower girl dress, and Happy and Toby get called on another case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: References to past drug use (brief), discussions of illegal substances, gun fire, gunshot wounds, ankle injuries. No character death, don't worry :)

When the doorbell rings unexpectedly on a dreary foggy morning, Happy can’t imagine who it could be. Addie, on the other hand, appears to know before the bell stops ringing.

“My dress!” Addie exclaims. In the past few weeks she’d gotten incredibly strong and fast, and she sprints down the hallway right into Toby’s knees. “My dress is here!”

She jumps up to grab the door, unable to get full purchase on the knob, but she tries with all her might until Toby pulls the door open for her.

“Hey, Carter,” Toby says, nodding to their mailman. “Packages come up to the apartment?”

“When they’re labeled like this, they are,” Carter replies. He nods to the label.

Toby looks down at it. “Fragile?” Toby says. “Are flower girl dresses considered fragile?”

Carter shrugs. “I don’t label the packages, sir. I just deliver them.”

“And deliver them you do,” Toby replies, nodding to Carter. “Thank you again. You want a donut? We just got some from Aubrey’s.”

Carter shakes his head. “No, Mr. Curtis, you don’t need to –”

“Take a donut,” Toby insists, shoving a glazed donut into Carter’s hands in exchange for the package. “Save me from myself.”

Carter looks down at the donut with confusion. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Thank you, Mr. Curtis.”

“Mr. Curtis,” Toby says, his chest puffing out. “Makes me sound like an adult.”

“If you could just sign for this –”

“I’ll grab that,” Happy says, signing the machine and giving Toby a pointed look. “Have a good day.”

“You too, Mrs. Curtis,” Carter says, waving goodbye.

“No, wait, I’m –”

Happy is interrupted by Toby kicking the door closed. He grins at Happy. “What do you think about being called Mrs. Curtis?” he asks, grinning. “I know you’re partial to us being the Quinns.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Just – put the box down before your daughter jumps out of her skin.”

Toby sets the box down on the floor and Addie, with incredible care and gentleness, opens the box. Or, at least, tries to. Happy moves to help her.

“Give her a second,” Toby mutters. “Let her give it a try on her own.”

Happy takes a step back, noting that Addie’s expression when she’s concentrating makes her look a lot like Toby. Even more than usual.

“I’m still feeling weird about dropping nearly two hundred dollars on a toddler dress,” Happy mutters. “I didn’t even spend that much on my first car.”

“Excuse me?” Toby asks.

Happy blinks. “What?”

“Exactly how much did you spend on your first car?” Toby asks slowly, looking incredulous.

“One hundred fifty bucks,” Happy replies. She still isn’t understanding why Toby looks so baffled. “Fixed the thing up, made it run. It worked.”

“My first car was eight hundred, used, before I had to get it fixed,” Toby mumbles. “That’s not fair.”

Happy shrugs, feeling a bit smug. “I guess you aren’t as good as I am at bargaining.”

“Which makes no sense, since you don’t understand people.” Toby shakes his head. “You are an enigma, Happy Quinn.”

“And you’re a weirdo, Toby Curtis,” Happy replies. She leans in and kisses Toby.

“Weirdo still gets a kiss?” Toby says with a grin. “I can work with that.”

The two of them turn back to Addie who is working on the box with extreme concentration. She hasn’t noticed either of them in a couple of minutes.

“Addie, you want some help?” Happy chances.

Addie looks up at her and blows her wispy, dark hair out of her eyes. “No, Mommy, I got it.”

Happy raises and eyebrow and opens her mouth to respond, but Toby elbows her in the ribs. “Let her work until she asks for help,” he mutters.

It lasts another fifteen minutes of Toby looking disturbingly calm about watching their daughter try to rip apart the box, while Happy has to restrain herself from diving in and opening the box for her.

“If she’s ever going to keep up with the pace of the world on her own, we have to allow her to learn when to problem solve and when to ask for help,” Toby assures Happy.

“Yeah, but this is taking forever,” Happy groans.

Toby nods. “That’s parenting.”

“I don’t like how much more about this you know than I do,” Happy grumbles.

“I only know in theory,” Toby says, shaking his head. “In practice, we’re both lost.”

Finally, Addie says, “Mommy, I need help.” She looks completely downtrodden.

“Hey, it’s okay to ask for help!” Toby says, kneeling next to Addie. “Look how hard you worked to open the box.”

“Daddy, it’s not open,” Addie says, glaring at him. “I still don’t have my dress.”

Toby frowns. “Yes, but you worked hard.”

“I don’t have my dress,” Addie repeats, more slowly.

“So, perhaps your child psych course applied to everyone but our kid,” Happy says. “Come on, Addie, let me get some scissors and open up the box.”

In a couple of minutes the box is opened and Addie dramatically falls onto the ground when she gets the first glimpse of cream colored tulle.

“It’s the perfect,” she announces from the floor.

Toby scoops her up. “Don’t just look, baby girl, get dressed!”

Addie’s eyes grow wide. “But I need pictures!”

“Okay. Dad will help you into your flower girl dress while I get out the camera,” Happy suggests.

Addie nods. “Yes, ma’am.”

“What?” Happy laughs.

“That’s what Kelly’s mommy says. Yes, Ma’am!” Addie grins. “I like Kelly’s mommy and maman.”

Toby looks at Happy. “Is it weird that our two year old knows a French word?”

“That was French?”

“She said ‘maman’ not ‘mama,” Toby says. “Difference in inflection, and Stephanie is from Louisiana. She goes by Maman.”

Happy sighs. “Is she ever going to stop being smarter than us?”

“Mommy, camera?” Addie asks. And there go those big hazel eyes.

“Yes, honey, go get dressed.”

She grabs the camera and walks back to the living room.

“Not yet, Mommy!” Addie exclaims as Happy begins to walk into the living room. “It’s a prise.”

So she waits another minute or two until Addie says, “Okay, Mommy!” Happy opens her eyes as Addie spins around in her dress. She’s got a crazy spring in her step, an excitement that Happy’s only seen when Addie was watching Happy fix a car. She’s glad she can compare the two reactions.

“Mommy, look at my dress,” Addie says reverently. “I’m a princess.”

“Yes, you are, Addie Grace,” Happy says. She can’t resist the impulse to pick Addie up in her arms and twirl her in the air. “You are going to be an amazing flower girl.”

“Well, yeah, Mommy,” Addie replies. “Don’t winkuh my dress.”

“What?”

“Winkuh,” Addie repeats. “I don’t want my dress all messy.”

“Wrinkle!” Happy exclaims. “Right. Sorry, baby. Of course I won’t.” She sets Addie down and watches as Addie takes a bunch of spins in her dress.

“I’m so excited to be flower girl,” Addie says. She only stumbles a tiny bit from her twirls.

“You are going to be amazing,” Happy tells her. “You are going to be the best flower girl the world has ever seen.”

Addie grins, then bolts up to Happy and gives her a massive hug around the legs. “I love you, Mommy,” she says.

“I love you too, Addie Grace,” Happy replies. She sits down in front of Addie so Addie can fold herself up and settle into Happy’s lap.

“When does your dress get here?” Addie asks Happy. “I want to see your dress.”

“Soon, Addie,” Happy explains. “It will be here soon. You can’t rush things like this.”

Addie sighs. “I don’t like waiting, Mommy,” Addie says definitively. “Why not now?”

Happy is saved from answering by a phone call. “Yeah?”

“Got a case,” Paige says.

“What kind of case?”

“The kind of case that’s going to stick Ralph and Addie with your dad for the night,” Paige sighs. “That’s about all the information I’ve gotten so far.”

“Gotcha,” Happy replies. “I’ll call Patrick. They can stay here tonight.”

Toby looks worried. “Are we on the job?” he asks.

Happy nods, hugging Addie. “We’re on the job.”

In a whirlwind that seems like no time at all, they end up in South America, tasked with the job of blocking communications between the major players in another up and coming drug cartel.

“If Addie ever does drugs, she’s getting sent straight to rehab,” Toby says, adjusting his suit and tie. “Even if it’s pot.”

“You’ve smoked pot,” Happy says, making sure Paige’s wire is set in the right place.

“Once!” Toby defends.

“And you told me that you snorted cocaine when you were in your last stages of med school.”

“I didn’t hear that,” Cabe growls over coms.

“It was one time!” Toby says, throwing his hands up. “And I had eight exams in two weeks. I couldn’t afford to sleep.”

“So drink red bull,” Happy says pointedly.

Toby rolls his eyes. “I regretted doing it almost as much as I regret telling you that I did it.”

Happy grins at him. “Good. Because you’re the one explaining that to Addie if or when she ever experiments with drugs.”

Toby goes pale. “Oh, hell.”

“Can we get back to the problem at hand, guys?” Paige says. “Do I look like the wife of somebody would wants in on drug sales?”

Happy takes a step back. “I think so.”

“Good,” Paige says. “Because if you guys keep up with this snarking back and forth, I’m going to bail on this and then we won’t get the names of the big kahunas and all of this will be for nothing.”

“Got it,” Toby says. He offers his arm to Paige. “And you ready to go, my wife?”

Happy wrinkles her nose. “Couldn’t I have gone?”

“No,” Toby says, “because you couldn’t act through this if your life depended on it.”

“I did a great job during all the Beijing bullshit,” she counters.

Toby looks at Walter. “She’s got a point there, Walt.”

“I need you here for the hacking,” Walter says after a pause.

“That’s not what I do,” Happy says.

“Also,” Walter says, exchanging a look with Cabe. “Well, we were hoping Toby would be out of the way when we explained this piece –”

“I do not like where this is going,” Toby mutters.

“ – but Happy’s going to have to climb into the server room to effectively infiltrate all of the communications. We have to plant our own hardware to interrupt the flow of information, while you and Paige serve as a distraction.”

All eyes go to Happy and Toby. She looks at him. “I’m good with it. You?”

“Yeah,” Toby replies. “Not sure why Walter wanted to keep it from me.”

“I assumed you would be reluctant to allow the mother of your child to enter a harmful situation like this,” Walter explains, “also, you and I have a bad track record when it comes to server rooms.”

“Oh, like that time you killed me and then I rose again to avenge my own death?” Toby asks. “Yes, that is something I’ve got beef about. Happy, though, can take care of herself.” He kisses her temple. “Go get them, baby.”

Happy looks at him in horror. “The hell was that?”

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly. “Got a little carried away. Felt like I was in some sort of action movie.”

“God, you’re weird,” Happy mutters.

Coms are hooked up, everybody’s ready, and Walter, Cabe, and Happy are in the van behind the building where the servers are reported to be.

Toby and Paige are schmoozing their way from person to person, acting like big wigs with money they’re ready to invest. Toby knows a lot more about the drug trade than Happy wants to think about. Paige, too.

Happy wants to ask them something, wants to know if they just did their research or if they know more than they’re letting on, if they’re hiding something, but she holds it back. She knows it’s ridiculous.

“Okay, got everyone away from the server room?” Walter asks.

“Yeah,” Toby replies. “But, are we sure that’s what it is? This place isn’t high tech enough to need a server room. It looks kind of low-tech, actually.”

“Exactly what I’d do if I were hiding a multi-million dollar setup that required constant internet connection,” Happy explains. “Make it look like you know nothing about technology so nobody would think to look there.”

“You are an evil genius, Happy Quinn,” Toby says. “Alright. Room’s clear. Go.”

It’s a better harness than the one they used in Cuba, that’s for sure. But it’s still not comfortable to be lowered in through the roof by Cabe and Walter.

“A little slack, guys,” Happy says, quietly as she can. “I’m about three inches off the floor and this is the least comfortable I’ve been since childbirth.”

She’s lowered the last little bit and then, cautiously, listens as Walter directs her to where she can hardwire in the piece of tech. She now knows why she was the only one who could do this – the spaces are tiny. She can hardly squeeze through.

“Okay,” she grunts, half getting stuck in one place. “I think I’m here, because I can’t go any farther.”

“Then I’d say you’re in the right place,” Walter replies. “I’ll walk you through it.”

It’s less of a walk and more of a tango over hot lava while wearing high heels to get this thing installed. Despite the fact that Happy built the thing, Walter’s design is incredibly complicated and she has to start over twice after being pretty sure she matched the wrong wires. She may have redirected some emails back to their senders, she’s not sure.

“Guys, I know you’re working hard over there, but Paige has resorted to singing Broadway tunes to keep everyone occupied and she’s gone through all the best songs from Hamilton, Newsies, and Waitress. I think people are running low on patience.” Toby’s voice is unclear, like he’s muttering into a shirt.

“Almost there,” Happy says. Walter gives her the last few instructions. “Got it. Sly, give it a try.”

“It worked!” Sly exclaims. “Oh, god, finally. You guys have to come back now before I have a heart attack.”

Happy goes as fast as she can to get out of there. And it backfires. She catches her ankle – the one she’d injured nearly three years before when she was pregnant with Addie – and feels something a little like a pop.

“Oh, mother of all things fuckery,” she groans. “Fuck.”

“You okay?” Toby asks, almost impulsively. And in that moment, they all know it’s too loud.

They hear a tap, and then Paige’s voice. “Why, yes, Randall, I’m fine! Why do you ask?”

“She turned off her coms?” Walter mutters. “Why?”

“To keep us from getting blasted with show tunes,” Cabe says, “now, everybody, shut up and get moving. We need to get out of here and fast. We might have blown our cover. Sly, start the car.”

“I don’t know how to drive!” Sylvester says frantically.

“Yeah, but you can start the thing,” Cabe replies. “Do it. Now.”

“Right, okay.” Happy isn’t completely convinced that Sly can start the car, but she feels like this is the wrong time to bring that up.

“Happy, you okay down there?” Cabe asks.

“I think so,” she lies. She tests weight on it – doable, but excruciating. “Nothing compared to childbirth.”

“Not a comparison,” Toby mutters. “Look, Paige and I are getting weird looks. I’m going to start slurring and look drunk so we can get out of here. It’s about to get sleazy.”

“Please don’t quote Ke$ha in life or death situations,” Happy says through gritted teeth. She manages to get back to the harness and get to the roof, but by the time she, Cabe, and Walter get to the side of the roof, they start hearing arguments. Toby’s drunken routine seems to be working too well.

“Are we about to get shot at?” Walter asks.

“Again?” Sly adds.

“Shut up and get Paige and Toby in the car,” Cabe says. “And don’t let Happy fall once you come around to get us.”

“Happy’s fallen enough for a lifetime,” she grumbles. She catches her foot against the side of the stairwell. She can’t hold back a pained scream.

And all goes silent.

“Oh, fuck,” she whines.

The gunfire starts with one, then two, and then bullets raining down on them like hail. They all manage to get in the car without getting badly hit, though.

“Thank god for bulletproof vehicles,” Cabe says. And that’s when Happy gets a look at him.

“Holy shit, Cabe, you’re shot!”

Toby whips his head around from where he’s tending to Happy’s ankle. “What?!”

“It’s nothing,” Cabe says. “Just a scratch. Got worse from the time I had to break into my car because I left my keys in it.”

“Let me check,” Toby insists.

Cabe sends him a glare. “I’m fine,” he says. He presses gauze to it. “See? I’ve got it. Take care of Happy.”

“I’m fine,” Happy tries to say, but the entire group turns to glare at her. “What?”

“You complained,” Toby says. “You complained so loudly that everybody heard and we got shot at.”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that,” she interrupts. “Cabe, I didn’t mean for you to get shot –”

“Not your fault, and not my point,” Toby says firmly. He returns to her ankle. “What I meant is that, in comparison, you barely complained during childbirth. I know something went really wrong here.”

“No,” Happy says, waving it off. “It’s probably barely a sprain. I’m fine. I overreacted.”

Toby gets his Doctor face on, studying closely. “I can’t be sure of that,” he mutters. He digs around in his back. “Here. Take one of these.”

Happy takes the bottle. “And these are?”

“Pain killers,” he explains. “Before you say anything, they are prescribed to you. From that time you got stabbed and they had to repair your arm, okay? No hinky dealings going on here.”

Happy isn’t sure how Toby knew that she was worrying along those lines, or if it’s just a coincidence. With Toby she’s never sure. But she nods and takes the medication when they get on the plane, chugging a bottle of water with it when Toby gets insistent.

“Is this actually going to help or just knock me out?” Happy asks, sitting down. She’s not as comfortable as she’d like, but it’s nice when Toby pulls her leg into his lap and checks it.

“It should relieve the pain,” Toby says. “Does this hurt?” He pokes a part that’s swollen.

Happy shakes her head. “No.”

“How about this one?”

They continue in this vein for some time, until Happy realizes he did it so she wouldn’t react to the jostling of takeoff. They settle before long, the exhaustion of the day overtaking the team quickly. Toby’s the only one who seems minimally shaken – he gets up to change once they’ve leveled out, gently setting Happy’s ankle on the seat, and brings sweatshirts for everybody to drape over their clothing.

The pain medication works not at all and then hits her like a train, dulling her ankle, but she’s too bothered to sleep. All she can think of is how much Toby knew about drugs, how little she knows about him. Or does she? There are too many questions in her head right now when all she wants to do is sleep and hold her baby. Toby returns and she moves close to him again, careful not to hit her ankle.

“Hey, Toby?” Happy asks once everyone else is asleep. The plane is quiet – even the engines seem like a distant echo.

“Yeah?”

“It was one time, right?” she asks. She can’t look him in the eye right now – can’t risk learning about a part of Toby’s past that might shake them more than she’s ready for.

“Was what a one time thing?”

“The cocaine,” she explains. “You didn’t – no dealing or addiction to it, right?”

Toby runs her hand through her hand. “Honest truth?”

Her heart shatters. “You went from cocaine to gambling, didn’t you?” she asks. She feels her voice shake. “Or is that where you got the cocaine? You’re not still doing cocaine right?”

Toby shifts so Happy has to sit up. “No,” he says. “No, the only addiction I’ve ever had is gambling.” He tests a smile. “And you.”

“Never compare me to gambling again,” she says dangerously.

Toby clears his throat. “Right. Sorry. But, no. I did cocaine that one time and – I didn’t like it very much. Everything was going too quickly and it felt – wrong. It was the wrong kind of high. Never did again, and I never will.”

Happy nods, exhaling. “Good. Don’t scare me like that.”

He kisses the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Happy.”

“For what?” she asks, settling against his shoulder. His sweater is soft – feels like a cloud – and she just wants to rub her cheek against it. “You’re not doing cocaine or gambling now.”

“For scaring you,” he explains. “Also, you’re insanely cuddly right now. And on potent medication. Are you sure you want to be this touchy-feely around the team?”

“They’re asleep,” Happy mumbles. “And I love you. I don’t care what they say.”

He laughs.

“I like your laugh,” she mumbles. “I like you.”

“I know you do,” he says. He wraps his arms around her shoulders. “Are you okay?”

She nods. “I think I did something bad to my ankle, though.” She shoots up. “Paige’ll kill me if I can’t be in the wedding.”

Toby shushes her gently, and Happy relaxes back onto his shoulder. “You’ll be fine,” he assures her. It’s the same voice he uses to soothe Addie after a night terror.

“Your sweater is soft,” she mumbles.

Toby laughs again, quietly. “You’re cute when you’re dopey.”

She nods. “I’m cute always.”

She thinks Toby responded, but she was asleep before she understood.

~

They touch down in LA twenty-six hours after they left, and Happy only wakes up when she realizes Toby’s carrying her from the plane to the car door.

“The hell are you – ow!” Her ankle flares as she shifts. “Oh, god, that’s why.”

“Yes,” Toby says. “And that’s why you’re not driving. We’ll be at the house soon.”

“I think the pain meds wore off,” Happy mumbles, frowning.

“They’ll do that. Your ankle’s not too huge, but the size of an orange still worries me.”

“We’ll take care of it tomorrow, okay?” Happy says. “I just want to see Addie.”

“Me too.”

Happy yawns as she stumbles in the door unsteadily, ready to collapse onto the couch before Addie shrieks, “Mommy! Daddy!” and plows into Happy’s knees in a manner so painful Happy nearly blacks out. She tips over, only staying upright because Toby catches her and pushes her back to standing. “Sleep with you tonight,” Addie insists.

Toby picks her up, giving Happy an expression. She tries to wave off the pain, but even a half attempt to put weight on her ankle sends sparks across her vision.

She’s glad, though, that Addie didn’t see it. She’s cuddling with Toby. Addie fits so well in his arms, at least until she flops over his shoulder.

“She missed you guys,” Patrick says quietly. “A lot. She wouldn’t sleep without you. Even when Ralph went home to meet Paige and Walter, she wouldn’t go to sleep.”

“And now that we’re home, she’s five minutes from being asleep,” Toby laughs, kissing Addie’s forehead.

“No slee,” Addie slurs.

“Give it two minutes,” Happy laughs.

“Hi, Mama,” Addie mumbles. “Love you, Mama.”

Happy hobbles over to Addie, close enough to kiss her nose. “Love you too, Addie Grace.”


	62. Addie, 2 years 8 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy's not certain that Addie's constant sleeping is a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so much warning as much as an awareness of hospitals and child illness.

“Are you sure you can pull together the rest of this wedding in a seven weeks?” Happy asks skeptically. She’s packing up the Addie bag to go home, exhausted from the day. They’d been up and at the garage for two days now, manning the garage for the rest of the team who were abroad since she still hasn’t gotten full function of her ankle back. “I mean, this is cutting it kind of close.”

Paige throws her hands in the air. “Well, the reception hall my mom insisted on was going to be booked out for another year and a half except for that day in August, so. Yeah. We’re going to have to cut it close.”

Happy wrinkles her nose. “When I get married, no big fanfare. No reception hall, nothing fancy. Just the family.”

Paige grins. “I don’t know what in that sentence was better, you saying ‘when I get married’ instead of ‘if’, or you referring to the team as your family.”

Happy rolls her eyes as she picks up a conked out Addie. “Don’t make it weird.”

Paige’s smile only grows larger. “We love you, too, Happy.”

Happy feels her face grow hot. “I said, don’t make it weird.”

“Can I give you a hug?” Paige asks, arms outstretched.

“I hug?” Addie asks, sitting up in Happy’s arms.

“You – you were asleep,” Happy groans. “Go back to sleep.”

“I hug Aunnie Pay firs,” Addie insists.

“Yes, okay, you can hug Auntie Paige first,” Happy concedes. Paige scoops her out of Happy’s arms, and Happy doesn’t want to admit that it relieves some of the ache in her ankle.

Addie’s chattering along to Paige as she walks out to the car, completely awake. Toby, on the other hand, has passed out in the front seat of their mom car.

“I’ll buckle her in,” Paige says. “And then hopefully she’ll fall asleep.”

“No sleep,” Addie replies. “I stay up all night!”

“Addie, arms down, I’ve got to get you buckled,” Paige says. “And don’t stay up all night. You took a nice long nap.”

Addie nods. “I nap because I get buzzy in my head. But I better now!”

Happy walks over to her. “You got buzzy in your head?” She had been confused about how much Addie had been sleeping over the past day and a half, but she’d assumed it was just because of how overwhelming the job had been.

Addie nods. “Buzz buzz and owie,” she explains. “But I sleeps and I wake up and all better.”

Paige and Happy exchange a look. “Good to know, Addie Grace,” Happy says.

They get home, Toby rather annoyed when Happy jostles him awake, but they all need the sleep once they get into the house. Happy collapses into bed next to Toby.

“Missed you,” he mumbles. “How’s that ankle?”

“It’s okay,” she replies. “It’ll be better after some sleep, though.”

Toby chuckles, quiet and drowsy. “Got it. Night, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe,” Happy mumbles.

~

Happy wakes up for what feels like the millionth time to Addie crying through the baby monitor, quieter but still pained.

“Night terror,” Toby mumbles. “I got her.”

She watches him get up then rolls over again, preparing for Addie to come into the bed and talk their ears off until she passes out without warning.

And then she hears Toby say, “Happy? Can you come in here?”

Two months of physical therapy on the sprained ankle has made walking and moving around easier, but it still takes a few moments for the stiffness to decrease when she gets out of bed. It takes a few steps before Happy processes the words and the way they were said. “Everything okay?”

“Not sure.”

And that’s when Happy gets worried. She steps into Addie’s bedroom to see Toby holding her against his shoulder as she shivers, silent tears on her face.

“Addie, baby, what’s wrong?” Happy walks up to her, anxiety welling up in her chest. “Toby, what’s wrong with her?”

“I walked in and she was shaking – she’s burning up, feel.”

Happy feels Addie’s forehead with her wrist, the way Toby showed her when Addie was a baby, and frowns. “She’s warm.”

“She’s hot,” Toby corrects. “Really unsafely hot.” He frowns. “Hap, I’m worried.”

“If you’re worried, I’m worried,” Happy decides. “I’ll grab her bag, a couple changes of clothes. You get her in the car seat.”

“The car seat?” Toby winces when Happy turns on the bedroom light, shielding Addie’s sad eyes.

“Yeah,” Happy replies, throwing a couple outfits and one tutu into Addie’s bag. She steps to the bed, pulling out Addie’s blankie and wrench. “We’re going to the hospital.”

When Happy looks over at him, he looks shocked. “Seriously?”

“I’m not waiting until the morning,” Happy says. She clenches her fists to keep them from shaking. “We’re going now.”

Toby checks his watch. “It’s ten at night.”

“What’s that matter?” Happy snaps

“Okay, I know you’re stressed out, but snapping at me like that isn’t going to help anything. I was just mentioning that there shouldn’t be any traffic. I –” He rests a hand on the back of Addie’s head when she starts snuffling. “I’ll get her into her car seat, okay? She’s going to be fine.”

Happy nods, flexing and clenching her fists. She only begins to relax when Toby kisses her forehead.

“Addie is going to be fine,” he repeats. “We’ll see doctor soon.”

“Technically, I’m seeing a doctor right now,” Happy says. She chances a smile, and gets one back from Toby.

“See? You wouldn’t be joking if you weren’t feeling like you had a handle on the situation.”

They get Addie in the car, and she doesn’t speak, sing, or move the entire ride. She just stares vacantly at the back of passenger seat. Toby’s sitting next to her, checking on her constantly.

“She hasn’t fallen or hit her head recently, right?” Toby asks. “She’s got no bumps, no bruises, not even a red mark or a cut, but still.”

“I don’t think so,” Happy replies, “and preschool is usually really good about letting us know about that kind of stuff.” She checks the rear view mirror. “But she was talking about a buzzy head and an owie earlier. But I had an eye on her for the past two days – she hasn’t gotten hurt at all.”

Addie whimpers and Happy’s heart skips a beat.

“She okay?”

“She just seems exhausted,” Toby replies. “I don’t like seeing her like this – she’s like a ghost or something.”

Happy looks in the mirror again – Toby is holding Addie’s hand and kissing her cheek.

“I sick, Mama,” Addie mutters. “No ghost. Just sick.”

“We know, baby.” But Happy can’t deny that she’s grateful that Addie’s finally talking.

“We’re going to go talk to some doctors, okay? And they’ll make you feel all better,” Toby assures Addie.

“Daddy a doctor,” Addie mumbles.

“Yes, but we’re going to see some more doctors,” Toby says. “Very soon.”

The next hour and a half speeds by so quickly that Happy can’t get a handle on it. When the receptionist saw how young and how sick Addie was, she assured them that they would get her in to see an ER doctor as soon as possible, but as soon as possible was still an hour of Addie’s miserable whimpers and Happy’s anxiety taking over all other thoughts.

Half an hour in a waiting room while Toby rocks Addie and Happy paces, and a nurse finally comes in. With Addie’s temperature, she calls the doctor in and he admit her.

“She’s admitted?” Happy says. She turns to Toby. “Do we worry now?”

He shrugs. “Not yet,” he says, and it sounds more like he’s convincing himself. “Not yet.”

There’s an exchange of conversation between Toby and the doctor that Happy blocks out, talking to Addie about all the fun things they have planned for Toby’s birthday, all the exciting adventures they’ll have. She’s not letting Addie go until she has to, and she’ll ask Toby for the specifics later.

Addie falls asleep in Happy’s arms while they set her up in a room, the big bed making Addie look incredibly fragile and sick. Toby squeezes Happy’s shoulder.

“We’ve got the best, right?” Happy mutters. “Right?”

Toby nods. “I promise.”

There are tests that Addie doesn’t resist, questions that Happy and Toby answer with their eyes on Addie, and the time goes by faster than Happy expects. Addie wakes up and calls for Happy and Toby over and over again, but she’s not awake for long.

“We’re going to give her an IV with fluids,” Dr. Ashmore, the pediatrician on call says. “This way we can monitor her for dehydration.”

Happy nods. “Okay. And I can stay here?”

“We don’t expect you to go anywhere,” Dr. Ashmore says kindly.

And then, finally, things settle down, and Happy thinks there will be enough time for herself and Toby to rest. But each time they think they’ve got time to relax, another nurse comes in to check on Addie, and Happy pretty much gives up on breakfast by six in the morning.

“I’m going to get us coffee,” Toby mumbles, eyes bleary. “And something to eat. I think I saw a Starbucks.” He rubs his eyes. “Oh, god, this is awful.”

Happy nods. “Be back soon.”

He kisses Addie’s forehead and Happy’s lips. “Always.”

It’s a few moments of silence, but then Addie wakes up.

“Mama,” Addie whimpers, reaching up for her. “The ivy hurts. Not poison ivy, right?”

“I V,” Happy pronounces, kissing Addie on the top of her head. She pulls Addie close, rocking her gently.

“Where Daddy?” Addie asks.

“Just went to get some snacks,” Happy assures her. “You want to watch Bubble Guppies?”

Addie shakes her head. “Just sleep.”

Happy’s been worried, but this is scary. Addie’s never refused anything in favor of a nap before.

“Okay, baby,” Happy mutters. She makes sure Addie’s IV isn’t tangled with anything else as she settles Addie in the hospital bed. Addie rolls over, curling into Happy’s chest.

“Mama, I hurt,” Addie says, so quietly it’s almost a whisper.

“I know, Addie Grace,” she says. “How can I help?”

Addie starts making a miserable sound, almost like she’s trying desperately not to cry but she can hardly hold it back. “Mama,” Addie says, and the tears break through. “I so hurt.”

Happy can’t do anything but hold onto her until she finally falls asleep again.

Toby walks in, looking rattled and miserable. “Hey, sorry that took so long,” he says, sitting down in the chair next to Addie’s bed. “The line was ridiculous. I forgot this was breakfast time for most people.”

Happy goes to reach for the coffee, but Addie fusses when she moves her arm.

Toby manages a smile. “Want me to feed you?”

“I’d say no, but I don’t think I have a choice,” Happy mutters.

The doctor walks in to see Toby putting a Starbucks pastry into Happy’s mouth, which would probably be embarrassing if the two of them weren’t sleep deprived.

The diagnosis is pneumonia. Addie’s light cold had accelerated over a short period of time, the fluid buildup hitting her hard and fast overnight.

“I knew all her sleeping was out of the ordinary,” Toby mutters. “I should have seen this.”

“No,” Dr. Ashmore replies. “You shouldn’t have. This is a completely accelerated time line – her immune system was fighting so hard that it just gave up at one point. And she needed fluids and antibiotics, some hospital care,” she looks over to Addie. “Though she seems to finally be sleeping.”

Happy nods, brushing some of Addie’s hair off her forehead. She’s less clammy and hasn’t been shivering since they got her to the hospital. “And she’s going to be fine?”

“We’ll keep her until noon at the earliest,” Dr. Ashmore explains, “but I don’t foresee any problems as of right now.”

Happy feels a weight lifted off of her shoulders. “Well that’s good.”

Dr. Ashmore nods. “But I would give her rest for at least a week. No adventures, no school, just resting at home.”

“Our little firecracker isn’t going to want to do that,” Toby mutters.

“You’d be surprised at how exhausted some of these kids get on the medications,” Dr. Ashmore notes.

“Our kid gets hyper on Benadryl,” Happy clarifies.

Dr. Ashmore frowns. “Well. In that case, I’m not sure what to say. You’ll just have to try the medication and see how it works.”

“I still go to the wedding?” Addie asks, looking scared. “Still flower girl?”

“It’s a month and a half away, sweetie,” Toby tells her, holding Addie’s hand. “I think you’ll be okay far before then.”

Addie finally smiles. “Well that’s good to hear.”

“Sometimes you say things that make you sound so grown up, baby girl,” Toby says. Addie climbs into his lap, narrowly missing yanking her IV. Toby catches it just in time and adjusts it so it’s out of harm’s way, and adjusts the hospital bed so Addie can rest and sleep on him without falling over.

“I not a baby,” Addie insists, but she looks it. She’s just hit twenty-five pounds, a peanut of a toddler, and with being sick Happy worries that Addie’s lost even more weight than before. Toby had put Addie’s hair in braids when she’d been feeling a little more energetic and could sit up by herself, but they somehow make Addie look even younger.

“I know, sweetie,” Toby says, kissing the top of her head. “You’re my big, brave girl.”

Addie nods, her eyes closing again. “Night-night.”

“It’s not even noon, kiddo,” Happy says.

Addie, with her eyes still closed, says, “Noon-noon.”


	63. Addie, 2 years 9 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes milestones happen before you expect them. Sometimes milestones happen without you even knowing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise chapter! Nisha's birthday is today and she has been an absolute superhero with her reviews, comments, and thoughtful suggestions. This fic would not exist without having her to bounce ideas off of back on Black Friday when I was goofy off caffeine and got stuck on a bunch of plot points. It's also Rose's birthday, and all her reviews have made me so eager and excited to write this fic. You guys have both been SO important and great in helping me write this fic, and I thank you so much. Nisha and Rose, I hope your birthdays are outstanding. Thank you for being wonderful!

For the first time in months, Happy’s the first one to wake up. Addie had slept in her bed all night, not a single night terror. And Happy thinks this is the first time in years that she’s slept through the night like this.

She takes the laziest shower in history and gets dressed while Toby and Addie still sleep soundly. She gets half an hour into her book before she starts getting worried.

“Hey, Addie Grace,” Happy whispers, walking up to Addie. She doesn’t want to be too loud, won’t wake her if the little one is too sound asleep, but ever since her illness the month before Happy worries.

Addie pops up, bright eyed, with two books in her hands. “Hi, Mommy!” she exclaims. “I read all the books.”

“You – you what?”

Addie shows her the books. “I read Bare-in-stain Bears, and all these books about Spot.” She sighs. “I like Spot, but the stories are so easy.”

“When did you – you can read?!” Happy asks. “Let me see. Read this to me.”

It’s a story Happy’s read Addie a thousand times before bed – Berenstain Bears and Too Much TV, which Addie loves for some reason – and Addie flies through it.

“You memorized that?” Happy asks.

Addie shakes her head. “No, Mommy, I learn the words.”

“Wait a minute.” Happy throws her legs off of Addie’s bed and goes into her bookshelf, searching for something they hadn’t read to her yet. “Try this one.”

Addie takes the book. “He-hen. Henry and Mud-gee.”

Happy blinks. “The dge makes a ‘j’ sound,” she says, a little entranced.

Addie reads slowly but surely, carefully studying words that seem complicated.

“How do you know letter sounds?” Happy asks in disbelief.

“Miss Eva at school teaches me and Julia and Martin and Kelly letter sounds,” Addie replies, sounding wise and looking like a third grader as she turns the page.

“Miss Eva’s – she’s the volunteer from the high school,” Happy realizes. “She’s teaching you guys about letter sounds? You’re reading?”

Addie nods. “Now hush, Mommy, the story not done.”

Happy is stunned into complete silence, and stays that way until Toby walks in and says, “Did Hurricane Addie tear up the bookshelf again?”

Happy shakes her head, a little out of it from four books and the back of a cereal box read. “I – uh. No, that was me. I was looking for a book.”

Toby looks over to the pile on the floor and sits in the rocking share. “I see about forty on the floor.”

“Addie, sweetie, read Daddy Henry and Mudge,” Happy insists, shuffling Addie over to Toby.

She nods. “Kay, Mommy.” She throws the book in Toby’s lap until she crawls up his legs and sits on his leg. “Daddy, are you ready?”

“She memorize this?” Toby asks.

Happy shakes her head. “Nope.”

“That’s not possible,” Toby says, warily. “She’s not even three yet.”

Happy shrugs. “Just listen to her.”

Toby does the same thing Happy does – assumes the first book is a fluke, and then has Addie read a few more until he’s in a trance and he can’t stop listening. Addie’s ringing, little voice is music to her ears when she’s just talking, but hearing her read is almost more strange than amazing.

“She’s really young to be reading,” Toby mutters.

“She was young to talk,” Happy replies. “I was reading before three.”

“I mean, I was reading at three as well, but,” Toby sighs. “Oh, we’ve got a genius on our hands.”

Happy nods. “You’re just noticing that? Have you ever seen another child pick up song lyrics like this kid?”

“I was hoping we’d just found a musical prodigy and then she’d be able to be, you know,” he mouths ‘normal’ over to Happy. “It wasn’t so easy being us.”

Happy sighs. “Well, she’s got her Auntie Paige and her Popsy.” She pretends she hasn’t had the same worries as Toby. “She’s better off than we were.”

“Yeah,” Toby says quietly, rocking Addie as she snuggles into his chest. “She’s amazing.”

“Yes, Daddy, now I gotta finish my book so I can eat my waffle and then go to school,” Addie says pointedly. “So listen.”

“Yes, baby,” Toby replies, kissing the top of her head.

Happy gets dressed while they read and, when they drop Addie off at preschool, they send her with a couple books and instructions to read to Miss Eva and to thank her for all her help.”

“Kay, Mommy,” Addie says, wiggling her legs. “I stuck in seat.”

“Oh! Right,” Happy says, grinning. “I was going to leave you there.”

“No, Mommy!” Addie giggles. “I gotta go school!”

Happy helps Addie out and she bolts to the classroom once she’s got her backpack on, shouting, “Bye, Mommy! Bye Daddy!”

“Is it just me or is she growing up way too fast?” Toby asks as they get back into the car.

“Oh, way too fast,” Happy confirms. “I’m freaking out. She’s acting like a third grader.”

Toby laughs. “Imagine how she’ll be like when she is in third grade.”

Happy groans. “Oh, god.”

Work is frustrating – Walter got them a contract to design water filters to prevent disease and dirt from getting into the end result, and it’s harder than Happy expected. Paige and Toby are working the people side of it, so Sly, Happy, and Walter keep butting heads over design ideas.

“God, this is worse than talking to Addie,” Happy grumbles. “Walter, it’s not possible to engineer it that way because if the metal is compromised, it’ll short circuit and electrocute the person drinking the water. That’s not going to go over well.”

“Then we won’t use metal that can be compromised,” Walter replies.

Happy groans as Sly adds, “Um, also, how are we expecting normals to put in batteries or charge the thing? In places without clean water?”

“You are making this unnecessarily difficult,” Walter says.

“You got us a job doing something unnecessarily difficult,” Happy shoots back. “I can’t handle this.” She checks her watch. “Oh, good, it’s four thirty. That means my dad should be by soon with Addie, which means we can leave.” She smiles at Walter. “And then maybe tomorrow with Addie here we’ll do a little better.”

“How would she influence our work?” Walter asks, looking perplexed.

“Because I’m less likely to curse you out if she’s here,” Happy replies. “Also, it’ll be less likely for me to punch you in the face.”

“You haven’t punched me in the face.”

“Day’s not over, O’Brien.”

The giggles from Paige and Toby’s station grow loud enough to distract Happy. “Oh, you two are just being best friends over there, aren’t you,” Happy grumbles.

Addie sprints into the garage five minutes and four exchanged insults later, and the entire mood of the garage changes.

“Hey, kiddo!” Happy says, scooping Addie up.

“I now see what you meant,” Walter says. “Hi, Addie.”

“Hi, Uncle Wally!”

“Walter.”

Addie wrinkles her nose. “Waller.”

“Walter.”

“Wally!” She grins at him. “Uncle Wally.”

Walter sighs. “I think you’re playing around, Addie.”

Happy shrugs. “You never know with this one. Addie, tell Uncle Walter what you told me today.”

Addie frowns. “My dress got stuck in my underpants?”

“No!” Happy says as the entire garage falls apart with laughter. “Oh, god, Addie. No. What happened when you woke up?”

“I read all the books!” Addie says. She throws her arms up. “So many books, Uncle Wally. I love my books.”

“Really?” Walter says. Addie nods.

“Want to learn some more math facts?” Sylvester asks.

“Yeah, Uncle Silly!” Addie exclaims. She wiggles hard until she twists out of Happy’s arms. She lands rather hard on her feet, but it doesn’t seem to faze her. She darts over to Sylvester. “Math?”

“And, just like that, I have lost the ability to hug my daughter hello,” Toby says, pouting.

“Oh, chill, she’ll be all over you at bedtime when you sing with her,” Happy says, waving it off.

“You,” Walter says, looking tantamount to giddy, “you sing?”

Toby sighs. “I know it’s stupid, but now I’m embarrassed.”

“Like how you at times feel emasculated by me even though it’s stupid and sexist?” Happy asks, folding her arms.

“Yes, exactly. Social norms are hard to shake off.”

“Shake harder,” Happy says, grinning at him.

“You have way too much fun mocking me,” Toby says, kissing her forehead.

“Not at work.”

He gives her a look. “You embarrass me at work, I embarrass you.” He looks at Walter. “Relationships.”

“Can you guys stop being weird and help me clean all this mess up?” Paige says. “Seriously, we’ve got piles of papers all over the place and Patrick has been the only one helping me with it.”

“Just here to help,” Patrick says, hands in front of him. “Not trying to get in the middle of anything.”

 All properly chagrined, the team puts away papers, save for Sly who is teaching Addie how to add and subtract without pictures.

Happy insists that Patrick stop and makes him sit down.

“I’m old, Happy, not dead,” he says. “Let me help.”

“You helped enough, Dad,” she argues.

“Can I at least go play with Addie?” he asks.

“Yes, okay. But no doing work.”

“This is a strange conversation,” he says, shaking his head. “But I guess I should expect that here.”

“You really should,” Paige says, frowning. “It’s pretty common in this garage.”

Soon, though, the place is organized and cleaned to Paige’s insistence, and they’re ready to go home.

“Wait, Happy,” Paige says, following Happy and Addie out the door. “How’s your dress look? Does it need any alterations?”

“Wouldn’t know,” Happy replies, setting Addie into her car seat. “It hasn’t come yet.”

Paige’s eyes practically bug out of their sockets. “Excuse me?”

“That was the wrong thing to say,” Happy mutters.

“No,” Paige says. “No, that’s not – just – I just hope it gets here before the wedding, that’s all.”

“It will be,” Happy insists. “If there’s a problem, I’ll tell you.”

They get home and Happy goes right to her weights while Addie darts into her bedroom. Happy assumes she’s getting books.

And then a few minutes later she sees Addie walking in all dressed up.

“Where’s your dress, Mommy?” Addie asks, spinning around in her flower girl dress.

Happy looks up from where she’s rolling her ankle out. “How did you get into that?”

“I climb, Mommy,” Addie explains, toddling around.

Happy sighs. “Addie, sweetie, what are the climbing rules?”

Addie gives her puppy dog eyes. “But, Mommy. The dress is just so pretty.”

“The dress is not worth risking your safety,” Happy replies. “But, now that it’s out. Give it a twirl. Let’s see how it fits.” She grins. “Wonderful.”

Addie dances to the music Happy’s listening to while she does her ankle exercises, while Toby relaxes on the couch with a book.

When the doorbell rings, Toby leaps up with unnecessary speed. “I’ll get it.” Happy hears the door open. “Mail’s here!” Toby calls. “Thanks, Carter.”

“Oh, no problem, Mr. Curtis.” Carter sounds slightly less confused today, which Happy counts as a win.

“I’ll take all of that, thanks!” Toby says. “Addie! Come take this package to Mommy while I put the other mail away.”

Happy hears a dull thud and then Addie saying. “Oh, Daddy. The box is too big for me.”

“What do you think you could do?”

Two minutes and a few weird thudding noises later and Addie pops into the living room where Happy is doing her crunches, pushing along a box.

“Mommy, your dress is here!”

Happy frowns. “It is? How do you know?”

Addie sits down on top of the box, looking exhausted. “I know, Mommy.”

Toby seems to be taken up with something in the other room, so Happy doesn’t bother to wait for him. And then she opens the box.

“Oh,” she says, unable to contain a smile. “Look at that.”

“Mommy,” Addie says in awe, “it’s per-fick.”

With insistence from Addie, Happy tries it on.

“Toby, want to come see the dress?” Happy calls.

He walks in.

“Wait, Daddy!” Addie shouts. “Eyes closed!”

He sighs and steps in, hands over his eyes. “Okay, when can I look?”

“Gotta wait,” Addie says. She rushes over to check on Happy, adjusting the dress and telling her, “Big smile!”

“Are we ready?” Happy asks.

Addie nods.

Happy tries to find a way to pose without falling over the bottom of the dress. “Go ahead, Toby.”

He grins. “A little long, huh?”

“The shoes I bought will make me tall enough,” Happy says. “Addie, could you –”

“I get your shoes!” Addie agrees. When Addie comes back and Happy puts the heels on, she’s a little taller, just enough that the hem doesn’t skim the ground.

“That,” says Toby, “makes the dress perfect.”

“Yeah?” Happy says. “What do you think of Addie’s?”

“It’s also perfect,” Toby says. “Alright, but it’s six, and that’s dinner time. We don’t want to get food all over your fancy dresses, right?”

Addie shakes her head. “Dresses stay per-fick,” Addie decides. She, of course, could get in the dress but not out of it, so Happy has to help her.

“I get to put it on later, right?”

“Another day,” Happy tells her. “Now into your jammies, as long as you don’t get food all over your shirt.”

Addie nods. “Okay.”

Dinner is pizza, because cooking is not happening on a day like this, and Addie is absurdly careful not to drop anything in her lap. Happy, on the other hand, gets a clump of cheese down the front of her shirt and has to get the stain out while Toby snickers in the background.

“Don’t laugh,” she says, “you’re the one who dropped ice cream on your daughter’s head that time.”

Addie whips around in her chair. “Daddy did what?”

“When you were six months old, your dad got overexcited about Girl Scout cookie ice cream and it fell out of his cone onto your head,” Happy replies.

Addie grins. “Oh, Daddy.”

After getting cleaned up and changed, Happy gets Addie ready for bed.

“Mommy, my blankie,” Addie says frantically. “Where’s my blankie?”

“I’ll look for it, sweetie. You look in your room, I’ll look in mine.”

Addie nods, looking worried. “We’ll find it, right?”

“We will,” Happy promises. Because the last thing she wants is for that blanket to be gone.

Happy comes in the bedroom, searching almost as frantically as Addie, only to see a box sitting on the bed.

Happy frowns. “Hey, Toby, what’s this?” she asks, picking up a box. It says it’s from Disney World, but she’s not aware of promotional stuff that comes in boxes this big.

“Aren’t you supposed to be reading to Addie?” Toby says, confused. “Oh,” he lights up. “Oh, man.”

“What? You’re freaking me out.”

“Well, you know how we’ve never gone a vacation?” Toby asks. “Paige and I did something silly.”

“Something – what did you do?!” Happy says. “What did you do?”

Toby’s grin only grows. “You’ve never been to Disney World.”

“Correct,” Happy says. “What’s that got to do with – oh.” She looks down. “We’re going to Disney World?”

“We’re going to Disney World,” Toby says. “Oh, that was loud. Don’t tell Addie – I want it to be a surprise.”

“We’re going to Disney World?” Addie asks, eyes wide. She’s got her blankie in her arms, staring at the two of them with hesitant delight. “We go?”

Toby shrugs. “So much for a surprise. Yeah, baby girl!”

Addie starts jumping. “Oh, Daddy, I so glad I’m not sick anymore!” She hugs Toby’s leg, then runs to Happy. “And your ankle is better!”

“Yeah, kiddo,” Happy says. She scoops Addie up. “Now let’s get to sleep.”

“Wait!” Addie exclaims. “When do we go? Tomorrow?”

“Uh, no,” Toby says, looking worried. “During your school vacation.”

“School vacation next week?” Addie asks.

“School vacation,” Happy says, looking over at Toby, “is in February.”

“Febby-wary next week?”

Happy sighs. “February is seven months away, honey.”

“Seven months a week, right?” Addie says, clapping.

Happy shakes her head. “No, sweetie. We’ve got a lot of weeks to go.”

Addie sighs. “Oh, dear. But we still go?”

“We’re going to Disney!” Toby says.

Addie grins. “Yay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (...I swear it was Berenstein.)


	64. Addie, 2 years 10 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Walter and Paige's wedding. And Happy and Toby have a five hour drive and a rehearsal dinner to get through first.

Happy’s woken up by a very small, very dense projectile launching at her legs. That small projectile just happens to be her daughter.

“Mommy!” she exclaims. “Mommy, it’s wedding time!”

“Five more minutes,” Toby groans. Happy opens one eye to see Addie scrambling to sit on Toby’s side.

“No more minutes, Daddy, time for wedding,” Addie insists. She dives under the blankets and stands up, looking like a particularly fluffy ghost. “Wake up!”

Happy checks her phone for the time. “Addie, kiddo, it’s six in the morning,” she groans. “And it’s not until tomorrow. I know you’re excited –”

“Yes, wedding at six! Late!” Addie insists.

“The wedding is in the evening tomorrow, baby girl,” Toby mumbles. He reaches up blindly and pulls her down into a hug. She immediately snuggles into his chest. “We’re just leaving for the hotel today. We have plenty of time.”

“But dress,” Addie says, popping her head out from under the blanket. She looks over at Happy. “Mommy needs to get pretty.”

Happy laughs. “Thanks, kid,” she says with a half smile.

“I get pretty too,” Addie says. She turns to Toby. “You don’t.”

Happy laughs so hard she snorts. “Want some ice for that burn, Toby?” She tries to correct Addie, give her a better way to say what she meant, but her attempts to teach Addie what to say appropriately are completely drowned out by her out of control giggles.

“You girls are mean,” Toby says. He sits up, pulling Addie into his lap. “Well, now that we’re up. Who wants pancakes?”

Addie’s eyes widen. “I get pancakes on wedding day?” she asks.

Toby nods. “Pancakes and then we’re off!”

Addie claps, grabbing Toby’s arms and wrapping them around her. “Lots of pancakes,” she insists.

Toby makes good on his promise to Addie, and, by the time Happy comes out of the shower, Addie’s face first in what has to be her third pancake, judging by the amount of syrup on her plate.

“Strawberries?” she asks, looking at Happy.

“More strawberries?!” Toby exclaims. “You’re going to turn pink!”

Addie frowns. “I am?”

“Dad’s joking,” Happy explains.

“I want to be pink,” Addie decides. “Pink dress today.”

“Then you will wear your pink dress today,” Toby decides, dropping some more chopped strawberries on Addie’s plate. She reaches for them with her hand. “Oh, wait!” Toby exclaims. “Use your fork.”

“Like a pencil!” Addie exclaims. She picks the fork up and it slips out of her hands a half dozen times. “My hand don’t work.”

“Doesn’t work,” Happy corrects her.

“Dooz-int work,” Addie says. She’s focusing so hard on holding the fork that her words are scrambled.

“Try another way,” Toby says, settling a plate of pancakes in front of Happy. “Watch Mommy.”

Happy helps Addie hold the fork, something they’d been trying to get Addie to practice, but it’s futile despite the seventeen bites of pancake Happy used to demonstrate how to hold a fork. Then again, she’s not going to complain about pancakes. Toby makes annoyingly fantastic pancakes, Happy discovered a very long time ago.

Toby sits next to Addie. “Still no luck?”

“I want to use my hands, Daddy.” She throws the puppy dog luck at Toby, and Happy’s delighted that he’s the one who has to deal with that expression now.

Toby sighs. “Okay. But only for the strawberries.”

They finish breakfast, Addie takes a bath, and the three of them are ready with their bags packed by nine.

“Okay,” Toby says, looking around. “Five hour drive ahead of us. Do we have everything?”

Happy looks at the four bags on the ground in front of them, not counting the Addie Bag which is hooked over Toby’s shoulder.

“I don’t think we could have possibly packed anything more,” Happy deadpans. “What do you think, Addie Grace?”

Addie walks over. “Blankie?” she asks.

Toby pulls it out of the Addie bag. “Right here, baby girl.”

Addie jumps surprisingly high to grab it, then snuggles into it. “Thanks, Daddy.”

It’s another fifteen minutes of, “Addie, I know you don’t need to go, but you need to try,” before all is well and they finally get themselves strapped into the car.

Toby grabs his phone and Happy’s map. “Alright, Hap,” he says. “I’m armed with both versions of navigation techniques. You know your first steps?”

She nods. “Get to the highway, drive 45 miles, and then at some point I do something else.”

Toby checks the directions. “By gum, she’s right!” he says in a ridiculous British.

“Mommy, Daddy breaked his voice,” Addie says, a bit concerned, from the backseat.

“I’m okay, Addie,” he assures her. “It’s pretend. Do you want music?”

Addie’s eyes light up. “Lots of music!” she says. “My music.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Toby’s in charge of Addie, snacks, directions, and music on the drive, while Happy takes care of driving and remembering where the nearest rest stops are in case Addie needs to use the bathroom.

Addie, however, appears only to be in charge of screaming Livin’ on a Prayer three times in a row before Happy asks, “Addie, sweetheart, can we pick a new song?”

“New song?” she asks, sounding disappointed. “Yes. Love song.”

“Which love song?” Toby asks, scrolling through the playlist. “You Give Love A Bad Name or I Won’t Say I’m In Love?” he scrolls a little bit more. “Or were you asking for I’d Do Anything For Love?”

“You give love a bad name!” Addie sings.

Happy sighs. “Evidently, we’re stuck on Bon Jovi today.”

But on the second play through, Happy finds herself singing along while she hears Addie perfectly play out the drum beat on the side of her car seat, while not missing a word.

And then, on the third play, Addie starts interrupting herself with yawns, and Happy checks the time. Eleven thirty – she’ll either be napping or hungry within fifteen minutes. Toby had already given her raisins for a snack an hour into the trip, but that doesn’t mean their kid who ate seven pancakes today won’t be eating seven cheeseburgers for lunch.

“Mommy,” Addie says. “Mommy, do we have lunch?”

“We do have lunch,” Happy says. She looks over at Toby briefly. “Daddy?”

“Got it.” Toby turns in his seat and, as far as Happy can presume, torques himself in the set to pull out the little cooler in which they packed sandwiches for the three of them. That was his job while Happy had tried to give the incredibly excited Addie a bath and, instead, just got splashed three dozen times.

Addie tries to sing while eating, which leads to a terrifying coughing fit that leads to Toby twisting to get halfway into the back seat to help Addie cough up the sandwich.

She cries with fear for about ten minutes after, only calming when Toby and Happy sing Circle of Life together and then promptly falling asleep.

“Damn, I was really getting into that,” Toby mutters. “NPR?”

“Car Talk,” Happy tells him. “I need to zone out.”

Addie sleeps for a full two hours while Happy and Toby argue with the radio, and when Addie wakes up her first words are, “Mommy, I gotta go!”

They pull over to a rest stop with a McDonalds, and, after incredible whining on Addie’s part, they promise that she can have a Happy Meal if she goes to the bathroom and doesn’t complain for the rest of the drive.

“You know a two year old can’t promise that, right?” Toby mutters as Happy walks into the bathroom with Addie.

Happy shrugs. “Whatever works.”

Happy helps Addie as she talks and talks about The Princess and the Frog and splashes the mirror when she washes her hands.

“Addie, stop that,” Happy says, trying not the laugh.

“But it’s dirty!” Addie explains. “Gotta clean it.”

“Not our job, kiddo, but that’s thoughtful.” Happy dries off her hands and then Addie’s, and they walk out to see Toby holding three Happy Meals.

“They had Pokémon toys,” he mutters as explanation.

“God, you’re weird.”

The Happy Meal keeps Addie and Toby busy for more of the drive, especially considering the two of them have created a crossover with Addie’s Disney Princess toys where the princesses are rescuing the Pokémon.

And then they hit traffic, and Happy’s ready to die.

“Can we – not honk?” Toby groans.

“I didn’t!” Happy exclaims. “I didn’t –”

“Not you,” Toby says. “That guy behind us. He keeps honking and Addie jumps every time they do it.”

Happy looks in the rearview mirror to see Addie half leap out of her car seat when they honk.

“I hate driving,” Happy grumbles.

And it’s another two hours before they get to the hotel, where the receptionist doesn’t have their room ready.

“We’re too early?” Happy asks, staring. “I mean, we asked about early check in.” She nods to Addie, who’s dozing off in Toby’s arms. “She really needs a nap.”

“Let me check again,” the receptionist says, looking confused. “For Quinn?”

“Yes,” Happy says.

“We have one for Torrance,” the receptionist says. “And one for Carver, Marks, and Curtis.”

“Curtis!” Toby exclaims. “Here, I’m Toby Curtis. Look.” He slides his ID over the table. “They must have put the name under mine instead of yours.”

Happy sighs. “I guess. I feel like that’s Walter being passive aggressive after my Mr. Dineen quip the other day.”

“I don’t know if Walter knows how to be that kind of passive aggressive, but okay,” Toby says.

They take their keys and go up the elevator, and Happy face plants on the hotel room bed. “Oh, god, those were the longest six hours of my life.”

“What about labor?” Toby asks.

Happy rolls over. “That was longer than six hours, and you know it,” Happy corrects. “Besides, our kid wasn’t able to demand classic rock and Disney for four out of the six hours. This was exhausting.”

Toby rubs her back as he falls against the pillows with Addie on his chest. It seems like she’s out, but, being the second nap of the day, they have no idea how long this will last. Happy can’t help but yawn.

“Why don’t you take a nap,” Toby suggests. “If she wakes up, I’ll bring her downstairs and we can go visit Ralph and Walter.” He leans in and kisses Happy’s forehead. “Nap. You’ve got to be exhausted.”

“We only have two hours before we have to be at the rehearsal dinner,” Happy mumbles, her eyes already closing. She’s not sure why she’s arguing this, because she should probably just sleep, but she doesn’t want to miss anything.

“Sleep,” Toby insists, pulling the blanket over Happy and himself. “We’ll be right here.”

She wakes up an hour later with Addie snuggled up next to her with her blanket in her arms. Apparently Addie had grabbed Happy’s arm and thrown it around her sometime during Happy’s nap, so Happy pulls her in closer.

“Mornin’, Mama,” Addie mumbles. “You awake.”

“I am awake,” Happy replies. “What have you guys been doing?”

“Addie just woke up twenty minutes ago,” Toby replies, looking incredulous. “And she insisted on snuggling with you while I told her stories.” He winces. “Happy, I’ve told her everything I’ve got. I ran out.”

“Did you check her bag?” Happy asks. “Because I can guarantee we brought, like, six books. One of which is a two hundred page fairy tale book.”

“No reading,” Addie says, pulling Happy’s arm more tightly around her. “Daddy tells stories better than books.”

Toby gives Happy a pointed look. “Do you see what I put up with?”

“Time for party,” Addie says, turning around in Happy’s arms. Her big hazel eyes look up at Happy with that puppy look. “I wear my pink dress?”

“You do wear your pink dress,” Happy replies. “Why don’t you go get it?”

“Okay, Mommy!” Addie gets up and bounces off the bed, and Happy sits up to see Addie straining to pull the Addie bag across the floor. “Mommy, this is heavy,” she says, sounding exhausted.

“Let me help you out there,” Toby says. He picks up the bag and swings it on top of the bed, then picks Addie up and settles her on the comforter. “Now let’s take a look for your dress, yeah?”

Addie nods. “Where’s my flower girl dress?” she asks. “Wear that tonight.”

“Not tonight,” Happy says. “You’re wearing your pink dress tonight, and your flower girl dress tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Addie says, looking slightly disappointed. “But pink dress?”

“Yes, you’re wearing,” Toby pauses to pull the discussed dress out of the bag, “your pink dress!”

Addie claps. “Now?”

“You can put it on now,” Toby says. “Mom’s going to go take a shower.”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

“I’m trying to give you alone time,” Toby says pointedly, “so you don’t have to worry about wrangling a toddler.”

“In that case,” Happy says. She leans in and kisses Addie’s nose and Toby’s lips, then grabs her vanity bag and darts into the bathroom.

The water on her skin feels heavenly, and that combined with the nap makes it feel like she didn’t have to deal with six hours behind the wheel in traffic with a singing toddler in the back seat.

Happy tries to take her time in the shower, but she’s still out in fifteen minutes. She blow dries her hair quickly, styling it into what she hopes is a church appropriate side braid, and then puts on just enough makeup that she’s worrying that it’s not church appropriate.

“Okay?” Happy asks, sticking her head out.

“You’re never okay,” Toby says, looking confused, “you’re always beautiful.”

“Boo-ti-ful,” Addie says, looking at her dress.

Happy rolls her eyes. “Not what I meant, guys. I meant the makeup, the hair,” she points. “Never been to a church before. Is this going to work or will the priest smite me down?”

“I’m pretty sure God does the smiting,” Toby says, finishing the last pigtail in Addie’s hair, “but I think you’re okay. As long as you’re not in that dress you wore undercover that one time.” He shoots her a wink.

“Yeah, that’s not something I wear anywhere but a club,” Happy says pointedly. She grabs her clothes. “I am wearing dress pants, though.” She picks at them. “I hate dress pants almost as much as I hate dresses.”

“That’ll work,” Toby says. “Paige’s mom got you into that ridiculous bridesmaid dress to wear tomorrow, so I honestly don’t think anything you put on today will top that on the absurdity scale.”

“You’ve got that right,” Happy mutters.

She pulls her black blazer over her purple shirt because it’s a little cooler than she expected, and watches Addie spinning around in dress, stumbling a little bit in the matching pink ballerina shoes Paige gave her.

“Mommy,” she giggles, “Mommy, I got a dancin’ dress.”

“Yeah, you do,” Happy says. She leans down and scoops Addie up, settling her on her hip. “Ready to go, Toby?”

“One moment,” Toby says. He settles his hat. “Huh? Appropriate?”

“No,” Happy replies.

“No hat, Daddy,” Addie says, wrinkling her nose. “Yucky hat.”

Happy tries not to laugh at him. “Your daughter has spoken.”

They find the church easily, Addie singing the entirety of The Lion King soundtrack in the twenty minute drive, and they get there just in time for Mrs. Dineen to look at them, frazzled.

“You are two minutes late!” she exclaims. “I would be furious about that if my daughter and grandson were here.”

“So, it’s okay!” Toby says, positively. “I’m Toby Curtis, Happy’s boyfriend and Addie’s dad.” He holds out his hand. “Wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Dineen.”

Paige’s mother looks at him a little like he’s holding out a hand covered in slime. “Her – boyfriend,” Mrs. Dineen says, like the words taste foul in her mouth. She shakes Toby’s hand hesitantly. “Right. Lovely to meet you.”

Toby’s still got that bright smile on his face, like he didn’t realize how bizarre this interaction was. But before Happy can say anything, Mrs. Dineen shuffles them into the church.

“Aunnie Pay!” Addie exclaims. She turns to Happy, her face alight with absolute excitement. “I go see Aunnie Pay?”

“She’s not here yet,” Mrs. Dineen says, confused.

Addie points. “Look, Aunnie Pay!” Paige and Ralph are walking in, talking to some people who give Ralph a big hug. “I hug Aunnie Pay?”

“Of course, kiddo,” Happy replies. She sets Addie down, and immediately Addie takes off. She sprints down the aisle, giggling delightedly as she spins and twirls in her dress, before she face plants right in the back of somebody’s leg. When he turns around, looking startled, it’s clear that it can’t be anyone but Paige’s father.

Addie steps back. “Hello!” she says, her voice sunny and smiling.

Mr. Dineen doesn’t respond, and instead just stares down at her.

Paige, from the end of the aisle, spots Addie and who she bumped into, and immediately looks concerned. “Oh, no,” she mutters, rushing after Addie in her three inch heels. Mr. Dineen’s expression is one of mild disdain, which is something Happy really does not appreciate being directed at her daughter.

“What just happened?” Happy asks Toby. “Why is she –”

“Sorry, Dad,” Paige says, smiling apologetically. “My flower girl is just a little excited.”

Mr. Dineen frowns, but it says more than Happy’s ever wanted to see directed to her daughter.

“Hello!” Addie says again. “I’m Addie. I’m this many.” She holds up two fingers. Then she turns and points to Happy and Toby. “That’s Mommy and Daddy.”

“This is my dad, Addie,” Paige says calmly, trading Addie off to Toby’s arms. “Dad, this is Addie.”

“Addie Grace Curtis Quinn!” Addie announces.

Happy’s thinking that Addie probably inherited some of her social skills more than Toby’s because there is some serious negativity on Mr. Dineen’s face about her. It’s making Happy extremely uncomfortable, a little defensive.

“And this,” Paige says, gesturing to Happy, “is one of my bridesmaids, Happy Quinn.”

Mr. Dineen hardly nods at Happy. She watches Paige’s smile falter slightly, then repair. “And this is her boyfriend, Toby Curtis.”

“Boyfriend?” Mr. Dineen says. It’s the first thing Happy’s heard him say, and even from one word Happy knows they’re not going to get along.

Toby nods, holding out his hands. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Dineen.”

Mr. Dineen just stares at his hand. “Pleasure.” And he walks away.

Paige makes a miserable little noise as she visibly deflates. “Oh, god, he hates me.”

“If it’s any consolation, it seems like he hates everyone,” Happy says.

“Not helping, Hap,” Toby mutters.

“My parents are, like, the most conservative, by the book people,” Paige says. “I think your whole deal just reminded them about my whole baby out of wedlock thing.”

“What’s wedlock?” Addie asks Happy.

“Nothing,” Happy replies automatically. “It’s a very complicated thing.”

“Okay,” Addie says. She looks at Paige. “Aunnie Pay, be happy.” Paige smiles at her, and when Addie reaches out Paige takes her. “Love you, Aunnie Pay.”

“I love you too, Addie girl.” Paige rests her cheek on Addie’s head. “Thanks for the hug.”

It takes until Mrs. Dineen’s priest grabs Paige and announces, “Places, everybody! We need to get this rehearsal started!”

“You ready, Addie?” Paige asks.

“We-her-sal,” she says. “I do what?”

“You walk down the aisle when Mommy tells you,” Toby says. “Don’t worry – you’ll be great.”

Addie nods as Paige sets her down.

“Let’s get this over with,” Paige mutters, looking annoyed.

Mrs. Dineen fusses with Toby’s shirt about thirty times in a way Happy’s pretty sure is inappropriately handsy, then hustles all of them, including all of Paige’s friends pre-Ralph that Mrs. Dineen had insisted be part of the wedding, into the foyer in front of the church. There is nowhere near as much room in here as there would need to be for all these people to fit.

“Alright,” she says, Paige looking incredibly uncomfortable. Ralph reaches out and takes her hand, squeezing gently. Addie reaches up and grabs Ralph’s other hand, leaning against his leg. “Everybody know what to do?”

“Yes, Grandma,” Ralph says. “Officiant goes first, then the grandparents, then you walk down the aisle with Mom’s old boyfriend Teddy, and then Mr. and Mrs. O’Brien, and then Walter, then Amy, Emily, and Ciara walk together, and next come Hallie and Sylvester (who has a picture of Megan), Macy and Cabe, Brittney and Tim, Happy and Toby, and then I walk with Aunt Stella. After that, Max walks down the aisle with the rings, Addie walks down with her flowers, and Grandpa and Mom show up last.” He points to every single person as he speaks, and Happy feels a flare of pride for the little dude. Years ago, when they first met, Ralph wouldn’t have said more than two or three words in one sentence, let alone full sentences in front of this many people. But here he is, fifteen years old looking completely okay with standing up to his grandmother while his two year old cousin drums out god knows what beat on his leg, with the tiniest little smirk on his lips. He completely knows what he’s doing, and Happy couldn’t be more proud.

The entire room stares at Ralph.

“We’ve only been over that once,” Mrs. Dineen says. “How in the world did you remember all of that?”

Ralph shrugs. “I think you underestimate my overall intellect, considering the number of times you’ve called me an oopsie baby, Grandma.”

Happy reaches out and grabs Toby’s arm, doing everything in her power not to burst into laughter. Ralph’s looking at his grandmother with incredible attitude, something she’s pretty sure Ralph learned from Toby somehow. She meets Ralph’s eye and grins at him.

Addie hugs Ralph’s leg, completely oblivious to the tension. “Can I walk with Walphie?” she asks after an impressively long awkward silence.

“No, you’re walking with Max,” Mrs. Dineen says pointedly. She shoots an impressively venomous glare at Ralph. “He will be walking with Aunt Stella, because he’s the best man.”

“Okay,” says Paige, holding her hands up. “Let’s just get through this, okay?”

Happy watches Paige and Mrs. Dineen go through one of the most intense staredowns Happy’s ever see in her life. But Paige is both taller and significantly more badass, in Happy’s opinion, so she definitely wins.

“Fine,” Mrs. Dineen spits. “Father Jones, proceed.”

Happy had completely forgotten that they had a priest in the room for all this talk.

“How many rosaries do you think he’s done in his head?” Toby whispers in Happy’s ear.

“Wait!” says Addie. The entire room freezes. “I got a question.”

“Go ahead, sweetheart,” Toby says, bending down to her level. “What’s up?”

“Which of you people is Max?” Addie says.

Happy’s doing a terrible job today of holding back laughter.

“This is Max,” Paige says. He’s a little boy about five years old. “Max, say hi to Addie.”

“Hi, Addie,” Max says, waving. He seems shy, but doesn’t seem to be unkind.

“Hi, Max!” Addie says. She falls against him and hugs him. Max looks startled. “I like you.”

Max, in what is clearly an attempt to maintain composure, hugs Addie back gently.

“Now that that’s over with,” Mrs. Dineen says, a little too loudly. Happy’s pretty sure that Paige is enjoying messing with her mother. “Grandparents! Go!”

The entire procession goes, and Toby drops down to Addie’s level again. “You ready, sweetie? You know what to do?”

“I know,” Addie says nodding. “I walk with Max.”

“You walk with Max,” Toby repeats.

He holds out an arm to Happy. “We’re up soon. Ready, my love?”

“You’re being weird again,” Happy says with an eye roll, but she takes Toby’s arm. She turns around and says to Ralph, “you keep an eye on my kid, alright?”

“I’ve always got an eye on Addie,” Ralph replies, looking startled that he’d do anything else.

Happy loves this kid.

She grins at him. “Thanks, Ralph.”

There are a bunch of eyes on Happy and Toby as they walk down the aisle, and it’s way longer than Happy had realized the first time she had seen the church.

“Why are they looking at us?” Happy says out of the side of her mouth.

“Because we’re hot as hell, or they’re expecting us to get struck by lightning in here since we have a child out of wedlock,” Toby replies, just as quietly. “Choose whichever.”

“Pretty sure it’s the second one,” Happy says. She does her best not to peek over her shoulder to check on Addie and Ralph, and manages not to check on the kids until they get into their spots at the altar.

Happy’s never been in a church like this before, but she’s nowhere near as interested as Addie, who is only making steps down the aisle because Max is gently guiding her by the hand down the aisle.

“Mommy!” Addie shouts. “Look at the windows!”

Happy makes the shushing motion and hopes Addie listens. Luckily, she’s quiet after that. But Happy’s a little worried about Addie’s ability to throw flowers everywhere when she’s too busy looking at the stained glass windows and other decorations. They’ll cross that bridge when they come to it, Happy supposes.

Addie sits down on the steps, right where she was supposed to, and Happy sees Toby sigh in relief. She nods back at him.

The next fifteen minutes are miserably long, and Happy can’t imagine how Addie is sitting through the priest explaining what he’s going to say in the ceremony until she realizes that Addie is more than likely singing to herself, judging from the way her fingertips are tapping at the steps. She smiles – Addie doesn’t look like she’ll ever be bored, which is good for Happy.

Finally it’s over and Happy’s more than ready to get out of there and get to the dinner, something at some fancy Italian place that Paige’s mother insisted on.

Happy, Toby, Sylvester, Addie, and Cabe find themselves squashed in a back corner table of the overpacked restaurant.

“Well, I feel loved,” Toby says, resting an arm on the back of the booth where Happy’s sitting. He looks over at Addie. “What do you think, baby girl?”

“I think,” she says, “I think I sit with Uncle Sly,” she decides.

Toby blinks. “Not what I meant, but okay.”

They play pass the baby as Addie giggles, settling her right next to Sly. She snuggles into him until he pulls her into his lap.

“Addie, not at the dinner table,” Toby says as she starts drumming on Sylvester’s hands.

“No, it’s okay,” Sylvester says, tapping out a harmonizing beat. Watching the two of them go is like watching two sides of the same coin meet, the mathematical and the inherent sides of music blending together with complete ease.

“So let’s hope they stay entertained the whole dinner,” Happy mutters. “Because I don’t think this is going to go very quickly.”

They watch as Addie counts out whatever Sylvester is singing, and he claps for her when she gets it right.

“Yeah,” Toby says, resting an arm across the back of Happy’s chair, “I think she’s going to be fine.”


	65. Addie Charms the Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is bigger than Paige or Walter expected. To Addie, though, that's just an opportunity to charm people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for a really vague emetephobia related reference

“It’s wedding day!” Addie exclaims, face planting on Toby’s stomach. Happy’s lucky this time – she managed to avoid the toddler bomb.

Toby, on the other hand, is not. He groans. “Addie, baby, you really need to be careful.”

“I really need to be pretty!” Addie exclaims. She grabs his hand. “Come on, come on, Daddy!”

He sits up, his eyes half closed. Happy turns to him, as she had woken up when she heard Addie climb out of the toddler bed and land on the floor with a thud. She was rather surprised there wasn’t a bigger deal about it, but she thinks Addie’s too excited to register shock right now. “I told her to wait,” Happy says. “But, no, we have to wake up at seven in the morning for a wedding that isn’t even ours.”

“It could have been,” Toby says, grinning at Happy. “You just want a fancier proposal.”

Happy shrugs. “Blame a girl for wanting a total of zero vomiting scenarios when a guy’s down on one knee.”

Addie rolls her eyes. “I sick, Mommy.”

“You were sick,” Toby corrects. “You’re not sick now.”

Addie smiles. “I a flower girl!” Addie looks at Happy. “Time to dress?”

Happy shakes her head. “Not yet, sweetie, we’ve got a lot to do before then.”

Addie groans and dramatically falls on her face in the center of the bed. “But Mommy,” Addie whines, “I want wedding. I want my dress.” She pouts. “I want to go now!”

“You sound like Veruca Salt,” Toby mutters. “Come here, baby, let’s sleep.”

“Not a baby,” Addie insists. She yawns. “Not sleepy.”

Toby raises an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“So sure,” Addie replies. She yawns again. “No sleep.”

“We’ve got eleven hours until the wedding,” Toby insists. “Can we at least try to sleep, honey?”

Addie shakes her head. “No. I pretend, though.” She flops down in the middle of the mattress, immediately snoring.

“Are you serious?” Toby asks Addie’s sleeping form. He turns to Happy. “Did she seriously just –”

“Yep,” Happy replies. “But I think this means we can sleep, so –”

Toby puts his finger up to Happy’s lips. “Not another word.”

The extra sleep doesn’t last long – Addie twitches in her sleep and babbles about nothing, so Happy and Toby just rest and exchange amused looks over Addie’s head with each bizarre move she makes.

“I know I always said babies were weird,” Happy says, smoothing Addie’s hair out of her face, “but, goddamn, toddlers are fucking weird.”

“Language,” Toby says gently. He runs rests his hand on Addie’s back. “She can repeat all of it back now.”

“Yeah, but she won’t,” Happy replies. “She knows better.”

Toby scoffs. “She does not. Again, she’s a toddler. She’s totally going to remember this.”

“She’s asleep,” Happy replies.

Toby shrugs. “Touché.” They fall silent again, dreams and comfort winding through their sheets.

When Addie wakes up again with even more energy than before, they realize they still have seven hours before they even start getting ready.

“What can we possibly do with a two year old?” Happy asks.

“Well, option one,” Toby says. “Food.”

They get breakfast at the hotel restaurant, the waitress cooing over Addie who charms the whole place within a minute.

Addie’s so excited that it’s nearly time for her to be flower girl that they take her to the pool, allowing her to splash all over the place.

“Hey, guys,” says Walter, looking relaxed in a way Happy’s never seen. “You know my parents. They just got in from their red eye this morning.”

“Sorry we missed the rehearsal dinner,” Mrs. O’Brien frets.

Happy waves while Toby shakes hands. “Nice to see you again,” he says.

Addie pulls on Happy’s hand. “Mommy, who are they?”

Happy sighs. “This is Walter’s mom, and this is Walter’s dad,” she explains.

Mrs. O’Brien smiles. “Oh, aren’t you the sweetest.”

Addie’s grin gets so big it’s almost ridiculous. “Hi, Mrs. Brien.”

“O’Brien,” Toby corrects.

“Oh, she can call me anything she likes,” Mrs. O’Brien replies. “Do you like to swim, darling?”

Addie nods. “My floaties to swim!”

“They are lovely floaties,” Mr. O’Brien says.

To Happy’s absolute shock, the O’Briens have a sense of humor when it comes to children. Happy and Walter sit on the side of the pool while Toby and Mr. O’Brien toss Addie in the water while Mrs. O’Brien splashes her.

“They love children,” Walter says. “Especially at this age.”

Happy looks at Walter. “Meaning?”

“I was three when I started really showing how different I was,” he explains. “And then I grew older, and wanted computers instead of footballs.” His expression grows sadder. “That’s when it stopped.”

“Hey,” Happy says, nudging him with his shoulder. “No Debbie Downer. It’s your wedding day.”

He lights up. “Yeah, it is. I’m getting married today.”

The mood changes when Toby comes over and pulls Happy into the water. Even Walter goes in, playing with Addie until she manages to wear herself out at eleven.

“Wonderful to meet you, Miss Addie,” Mrs. O’Brien. "But we need to go, and you look like you could use a nap."

Addie shakes her head as she blinks away a nap. "No nap."

As they walk back up to their hotel room, Addie half falls asleep on Happy's shoulder.

“Mommy,” Addie mumbles, “I’m hungry.”

“You sure you don’t mean sleepy?” Happy asks. She brushes Addie’s hair out of the way to see Addie’s eyes drifting shut.

“Nope,” Addie replies. She yawns. “I wake.”

“I’ll grab us lunch while you put her down for a nap,” Toby says, darting off to the café.

“Like hotels,” Addie mumbles. “All the time.”

“That’s not going to happen, kiddo,” Happy laughs. “Let’s get you into some comfy clothes, okay?”

Addie nods. “Then lunch?”

“If you’re awake.”

Addie falls asleep with her blankie in her arms when Happy turns to grab her a juice box from the mini fridge.

Toby opens the door quietly. “She asleep?”

Happy nods. “You know what that means.”

Toby grins. “We both get to take showers without a toddler ripping open the shower curtain?”

“You know it.”

They rinse off the chlorine then fall into bed.

“You know, we should be doing something much more fun than napping,” Toby says, his eyes already closed.

“What’s more fun than sleep?” Happy replies. She pillows her head on his chest, letting herself shut her eyes.

“You’ve got a point there.”

~

Addie wakes them up at two. “It’s time!”

“Not yet,” Happy mumbles, blinking the sleep from her eyes. “We got some time left.”

Addie frowns. “Mommy, I need something in my tummy.”

“We have that taken care of,” Toby says. He leans over and pulls out Addie’s sandwich, which she eats with delight.

“It’s time!”

“Only two thirty,” Happy replies. “We have some more time.”

Addie groans dramatically, throwing herself on the bed. “Now?”

“It’s been ten seconds, Addie,” Toby replies. “Tell you what. Want to play a game?”

Addie sits up. “All the games! Fort?”

“Not in a hotel,” Toby says. “What if we play I Spy out the big window.”

Addie’s eyes grow wide. “All the spy,” she says quietly.

It entertains her until –

She half flips out of Toby’s arms. “It’s time!”

“No, not –” Happy’s phone rings. “Yeah?”

“Time to get wedding’d up,” Paige singsongs. “Get your dresses and come to my room. We’re all getting ready together.”

“It’s early,” Happy says, checking her watch.

“Only by fifteen minutes,” Paige says, “my mom just tore in here telling me to get ready, so I don’t want to go near that chaos.”

“Can I come?” Toby asks.

“Girls only!” Paige announces.

Addie practically runs to Paige’s bridal suite, too excited to calm down.

“Addie, honey, do you want your screen time?” Happy asks. It’s the one thing they have when she’s so crazy – half an hour of screen time a day, but Happy’s willing to extend to an hour today if they need it.

Addie nods. “Bubble guppies!” She settles in one of the big chairs next to Paige’s desk and watches on Happy’s phone, quiet for the first time since her nap.

“She’s cute,” says Stella, Paige’s sister. “I probably need to have a girl at some point.”

“Would Max want a little sister?” Paige asks. “Hi. Don’t look at my hair. I look ridiculous in curlers.”

“Everybody looks ridiculous in curlers,” Stella corrects.

They chat and get ready, with chance glances over to Addie to ensure she’s safe. She’s got a couple of bobby pins from the hair stylist and seems to be building little structures while she watches TV. Happy can’t quell the pride bubbling in her chest, and she’s pretty sure she doesn’t want to.

Happy puts on the rose colored dress, enlisting Paige’s sister to help her zip up.

“And before I do my hair I need to go check up on Max,” Stella says, darting out of there. Then she pokes her head back in the door and, in a low voice, says, “Come get me if Paige needs anything.”

Happy blinks. “Will she?”

“I may be ten years older, but I know my sister,” Stella says. “Paige has a tendency to hesitate and balk when things get real.”

Happy decides to take her word for it, considering how long it took the two of them to get together, and checks herself out in the mirror.

“What do you think, Addie Grace?” Happy asks. “Do I look okay?”

“You look the boo-ti-ful-est,” Addie decides. Happy looks at her. She’s completely naked, save for a pair of Beauty and the Beast underpants.

“Addie,” Happy says slowly, “where did you put your clothes?”

Addie smiles. “I put them off!” She announces. “Because I put on my princess dress now. But I can’t find it.”

Happy gets up, pushing the long skirt of her dress out of the way, and pulls out the incredibly fluffy dress from its case. “Look what I found, Addie.”

Addie claps and flaps her hands. “My dress!”

Happy puts it on her and checks how it looks. There are layers of dark and light pink tulle within the skirt, shades of rose, and the dress is nearly as wide as Addie is tall. Letting Addie pick her dress was the best idea Paige had ever had, in Happy’s opinion, because Addie is spinning and twirling around like she couldn’t be more delighted.

“Mommy,” Addie says, sighing, “my dress is perfect.”

“It is perfect,” Happy says. “And look. Do we match?” She stands next to Addie, showing the colors. “What do you think?”

“Same pink!” Addie exclaims. Her eyes widen. “Mommy, we match!”

“Yes, we do,” Happy says. She wraps Addie up in a hug. “Oh, okay,” Happy says, setting Addie down on a chair. “And now my hair is wrapped in the beading. Hold still, kiddo.”

Happy has just untangled herself by the time the hairdresser comes in, and Happy just asks for a simple twist to pull her hair out of her face. She starts to say to leave Addie’s hair alone, but then Addie says, “Mommy, like yours!”

“Like mine?” Happy asks.

Addie nods. “Just like yours.”

“I can do it for free,” the hairdresser says. “She’s got so little hair, it’ll take me five minutes. And she’s just so cute!”

“I am cute,” Addie decides.

It takes even fewer than five minutes, in fact, before Addie’s hair is twisted off her face on either side just like Happy’s, and it’s right then that Happy realizes just how much they look alike.

“Baby girl, you look just like me,” she announces. “Look in the mirror.”

Addie giggles. “I have Mama hair,” she announces. She reaches up to touch the tiny curls starting at the ends of her hair. “I like it.”

Happy smiles up at the hairdresser and gives her a twenty dollar tip, because she was fantastic, and walks over to Paige. She looks a little off guard, jittery.

“Hey, you okay?” Happy asks, her.

Paige looks up at Happy. “This is kind of crazy,” Paige says. “Right?”

“Your hair?” Happy asks. “No way. I like the beachy wave thing. The braid looks great.”

“Not my hair,” Paige groans. “This.” She looks at herself in the mirror. “The wedding.”

Happy frowns. “The wedding?”

Paige stands up and begins to pace, and Addie nearly gets knocked over by the giant tulle skirt. Happy scoops her up, keeping her out of the way of the frantic bride.

“What exactly is the problem?” Happy asks, trying to figure out what to do. “Are you feeling sick or something?”

Paige shakes her head. “I think I’m fine,” she says.

“Do you need to go potty?” Addie asks.

Paige laughs. “No, I don’t think so,” she says. “But thank you for worrying about me, Addie girl.”

Addie turns to speak in Happy’s ear. “Is Aunnie Pay okay?” Her whisper leaves a lot to be desired.

“She’s fine,” Happy assures Addie, but she’s not certain herself.

“I give Aunnie Pay a hug?” she asks.

“Yeah, of course, Addie girl,” Paige says.

Happy lets Addie down and she runs to hug Paige’s leg. Happy raises an eyebrow – it’s almost like Paige didn’t even notice Addie there until a second or two passed.

“I’m fine,” Paige says. “I’m just – rethinking some things.”

“Like what?” Happy asks. “Letting your mom run the wedding?”

“Well, yeah, that,” Paige scoffs. “That was stupid. But more than that, am I seriously doing this?” she asks, turning to Happy.

“What?” Happy asks. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m marrying Walter O’Brien,” Paige says meaningfully. “I’m marrying a guy who thinks romantic love is superfluous. What the hell am I doing?”

“What hell mean?” Addie asks, looking up at Paige.

Happy throws Paige a hectic look. “Uh,” Happy says. “I, uh, don’t know – you love him, right?”

“Of course I do,” Paige replies.

Happy shrugs. “Then what’s the problem?”

Paige groans. “Cold feet. Pre wedding jitters.” She sits down, the skirt of her dress flowing like water around her while she sits on the chair. “You are not helping.”

“Well, duh,” Happy says, rolling her eyes. She picks up Addie, nearly getting swallowed by the massive poof of tulle on Addie’s flower girl skirt that mirrors the skirt of Paige’s. “I’m going to go get Stella and Toby,” Happy says, edging toward the door. “Because I’m terrible at this whole emotion thing and I’m pretty sure I’ll make it worse.”

Paige nods. “Right,” she says. “Good idea. Toby’s always been better at the social stuff. And Stella might,” she takes a deep breath. “Yeah.”

Happy darts out of the room, Addie on her hip, and finds Toby standing on his own as he looks out the window of the church.

“Hey, Hap, have you seen the –” His sentence cuts off when he really looks at her. “Wow.”

“Wow what?” Happy asks, looking down at herself. “Everything okay? Did Addie spill?”

“Not that,” Toby says, walking toward her like he can’t take his eyes off of her. “Just – if you look that beautiful in that bridesmaid dress,” he shakes his head, “I can’t even imagine what you’ll look like in a wedding dress.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “I may be wearing a ring, but we’ve got to pull off a decent proposal before we start talking about dresses.” But she can’t deny the slight heat in her cheeks at the way Toby was looking at her, and the anticipation of being the one to walk down the aisle to marry him.

“Anyway,” Happy says. “Paige is losing her mind – cold feet, were the exact words used – and I’d just make it worse. So I told Paige I would come find you, and Stella, to help her out.”

“On it,” Toby says. He starts to walk away, then turns back and kisses Happy like he probably shouldn’t when they’re standing in a church. “Love you.” He kisses Addie’s forehead.

Happy just nods after him, head spinning a little, as Addie says, “Love you too, Daddy!”

She spots Stella walking next to a guy in a black shirt and pants, somebody that has to be her husband with how much he looks like Max, and calls her over.

“Let me guess,” Stella says, giving her husband a look. “Paige is balking.”

“Yeah,” Happy replies. “She needs you.”

“On it,” Stella says. She waves back when Addie waves goodbye and she starts walking in the direction of Paige’s hotel room. “Oh! Louis, Happy. Happy, Louis. Her name, not her emotion.”

“Addie!”

“Yes, and you’re Addie,” Happy says. Addie waves at Louis.

“Hi, Addie. Wonderful to meet you.” Louis says, his accent clearly French.

“You talk funny,” Addie says, frowning.

Happy’s mortified. “Sorry, I –”

“Not to worry,” Louis says. “Addie, I’m from a country called France. My parents are from a country called Algeria. They speak a different language, called French, in France, which is why I speak differently. I’m used to French.”

Addie considers it. “I’m from Mommy. Do I speak Mommy?”

“You speak English,” Happy corrects. “Ostensibly.”

Louis laughs. “Lovely to meet you, Miss Addie,” he looks at Happy, “but I’ve been tasked to help Mrs. Dineen calm down.”

“Good luck with that,” Happy says. “Nice to meet you!”

Louis waves goodbye to Addie, who giggles and waves back.

The kid’s getting heavy in her arms, so Happy walks over to the front of the church and sits down on the marble bench in front of the windows, settling Addie on her lap.

“Counting cars?” Addie asks, clapping. It’s the strangest game any child has come up with, but it’s Addie’s favorite thing in the world. Happy checks her watch – four forty-five. They have another forty-five minutes before the ceremony starts.

“Of course, sweetie,” Happy replies, leaning in and kissing her cheek. The count each car as it drives by and Addie gives them all ridiculous names. Happy’s favorite is when a semi truck drove by and Addie called it, “Princess.”

“Why did you call that truck Princess, Addie?” Happy asks, trying not to laugh. She smooths Addie’s curls out of the way.

“Because it’s a pretty truck,” Addie explains. “It has pictures of stuff. I like pictures of stuff.”

“Okay,” Happy replies. “That’s a decent explanation.”

They keep naming cars until a cab, something bright yellow that Addie names, “Marvin the Moose,” stops outside of the church.

And the face leaving the car is a blast from the past.


	66. Addie the Flower Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the wedding they've been waiting years for. Not their own, of course, but still.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Addie asks, patting the side of her face. “You look silly.”

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetie,” Happy replies. “It’s actually really good. Ray!” Happy calls.

He turns around and his eyes light up when he sees her. “Is this Happy Quinn in a dress?” he asks, laughing. “I never thought I’d see the day?”

She grins at him. “It’s so good to see you!” Happy says, helping Addie to stand on the bench. “When – we didn’t know you were coming!”

“Got here just in time,” he says. His eyes widen when he gets a look at Addie. “Apparently I’ve been gone for a while,” he says.

“Addie, this is Ray,” Happy says, tilting Addie toward him. “He’s one of our old friends.”

“Hi, Ray,” Addie says. “I’m Addie! Aunnie Pay is getting married.”

“I know!” Ray says, and Happy’s pleased that Addie’s finally found somebody who has the same amount of natural energy and excitement that she does. “You wouldn’t be the flower girl, would you?”

“I am!” Addie exclaims. “I’m the best flower girl always!”

“I’m sure you are,” Ray says.

“Really good to see you, Ray,” Happy says. “Seriously. It’s been ages.”

His gaze goes distant. “I had a lot of catching up to do with some old friends,” he replies, voice quiet. “But – reparation doesn’t come easily or quickly. But it does come.”

Happy nods. “Glad you were able to make it.”

He shrugs. “Well, I wasn’t going to miss a Scorpion wedding, especially between Penny and Walter.” He frowns. “Though I did seem to miss a Scorpion baby.”

Addie giggles. “I not a baby,” she insists. “I’m two. Two big years old. And a half.”

“And a half!” Ray exclaims. “Well, that’s just fancy.”

Next thing Happy knows, Mrs. Dineen is frantically running out, looking around.

“Mrs. Dineen, is everything alright?” Happy asks, standing up.

She dramatically exhales. “Happy!” she exclaims. “Oh, I was horrified that I couldn’t find you or Addie. We’re about to get ready.”

Happy checks her phone. “It’s five ten.”

“And we need to be ready for five thirty!” Mrs. Dineen says frantically. “We need to start getting in line.”

Happy sighs and sets Addie on the ground, holding her hand. “See you soon, Ray,” she says, nodding toward him.

“Bye bye, Mr. Ray!” Addie says, waving. “Mommy, is he the teacher on Finding Wemo?”

“Nemo,” Happy corrects. “And, no, Addie, that’s a movie.”

Mrs. Dineen shuffles the two of them inside so quickly that Addie starts stumbling over her massive skirt and Happy has to pick her up again. She’s starting to notice what Toby was saying about carrying her – they’re never going to let Addie work independently at the world’s pace if they keep picking her up whenever things get fast.

But, right now, Mrs. Dineen is babbling on about being dreadfully underprepared and has taken to literally running in her three inch pumps, so Happy thinks the conversation can wait for another, more appropriate time.

They’re shoved all into the foyer of the church.

“Hi,” Toby says, peeking over from a couple of heads. “You’re still gorgeous.”

“Thanks, Daddy!” Addie replies.

He laughs. “Well, I was talking to your Mommy,” he assures. “But you look wonderful, baby girl.”

Addie’s smile grows. “Thanks, Daddy.”

It’s a hurry-up-and-wait, with Happy shoving her phone into Toby’s pocket, “Damn dress doesn’t have anything useful,” and pulling it out again when Addie gets antsy.

The Bubble Guppies theme song blares, and Happy winces.

“Bubble Guppies?” Max says. “I love Bubble Guppies!” He walks over to Addie and, quietly, they watch.

“Thank you,” Stella says, looking at Mrs. Dineen pointedly.

Happy’s actually watching the Halloween episode of Bubble Guppies when the procession starts. It goes just as Ralph had outlined it the night before, the officiant beginning to walk toward the door. Happy watches the people walk through the big doors, suddenly feeling nervous.

“How’s Paige?” Happy asks, leaning over so Toby can hear her.

“Right behind you,” the bride says. Happy turns around to see Paige, incredibly put together and beautiful in her bridal gown.

“Oh,” Happy says. “Right. Hi.”

“Mommy thinks you went bonkers,” Addie offers.

Paige gives Happy the most Mom Look Happy’s ever gotten.

“Thanks for that, kid,” Happy grumbles. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I’m boo-ti-ful,” Addie pronounces. “Not cute.”

“That too,” Happy says. She turns Addie to Paige. “Look at the cute baby girl! Forget what she said and look at her face.”

Addie chooses that moment to giggle like she rehearsed it. “Aunnie Pay, you look pretty.”

“Nailed it,” Toby says from his squished space against the wall.

“I get that you guys are doing your weird family thing,” Paige says, with a grin on her face, “but if you don’t shut up and realize you’re next to walk down the aisle, I’ll kill you myself.”

“You’re unreasonably pretty for an attempted murderer,” Happy mutters, setting Addie down. She picks up her phone and shoves it back into Toby’s pocket. “Go have fun with Max, baby.”

“It’ll be a successful murder if you don’t get in place,” Paige replies. She’s still smiling and radiant, but Happy’s disturbed by how serious she seems.

“Touché,” Toby says, nodding toward her. He looks at Happy, looking obnoxiously handsome in his suit and tie, the little pocket square perfectly matching her dress. “And here we go.”

Happy manages not to turn around and check on the kids, her head forward and lips smiling in a manner that is seriously fake. She hopes nobody else knows that.

Toby squeezes her hand as they go to either side of the aisle.

And that’s when Happy gets a look at her goofball of a daughter.

Addie and Max have completely abandoned the plan and are grabbing handfuls of flower petals and throwing them at guests.

Toby’s eyes widen as he notices, shaking his head at her. At least the guests seem to think it’s cute, and Happy doesn’t think Paige will mind.

“Mommy, I got flowers!” Addie exclaims, throwing them directly in the folds of Happy’s dress. Happy does her best not to laugh, but she fails miserably when she looks over to Toby, who is bright red with tears in his eyes from his attempts to keep it together.

“How about we’re all done with the flowers, baby girl,” Happy says. She takes Addie’s hand. “Watch for Auntie Paige.”

The whole room turns to watch Paige walk down the aisle, and Happy thinks Toby’s been rubbing off on her too much, because she starts tearing up.

“Oh, Mommy,” Addie breathes, “she’s almost as pretty as you.”

“Nice move, kid,” Happy says, running her hands along Addie’s hair. “Very nice move.”

Somehow the words spoken by the priest are more powerful when Happy looks at Addie or Toby, and she’s glad she’s not maid of honor because then she would be holding two bouquets instead of one bouquet and Addie’s hand.

When the officiant completes the ceremony and announces that Walter may kiss the bride, the whole church erupts into cheers.

“Go Auntie Paige!” Addie exclaims, clapping.

“Did you just – you just called her Auntie Paige!” Happy says. She knows there are bigger things happening right now, but her kid just spoke correctly and that’s a big freaking deal to her. She kneels down to Addie’s level. “Good job, Addie Grace!”

Addie high fives her. “And Aunnie Pay and Uncle Wally are married!” she replies.

Happy sighs. “We’ll get there,” she says, picking Addie up. Addie claps emphatically as Walter and Paige turn and walk down the aisle. Walter looks like he’s blushing and awkward, whereas Paige’s relief is absolutely apparent. So is the joy.

“So we go now, Mommy?” Addie asks, looking interested. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“Now it’s pictures,” Happy explains. “And then after pictures we have a party.”

Addie’s eyes light up. “Party?” she asks. “We get a party?”

Happy nods. “That’s all a wedding is. One big party.”

Addie claps. “I love parties!”

Unfortunately for both of them, though, it’s half an hour before pictures even get started, because the entire damn church wants to say hi to Paige and talk to Addie.

“Hi, mister,” Addie says, sounding jaded already. “I am Addie. I am two. And a half. I like flowers and cars and music.” She turns to Happy. “That good?”

“Wait for them to ask questions, Addie Grace,” Happy says.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Addie,” he says, shaking her hand. “I’m Paige’s grandpa.”

“I have a grandpa!” Addie exclaims. “He’s bald, like you!”

Happy tries not to laugh. “I’m so sorry,” Happy tells Paige’s grandfather, shaking her head at her own daughter. “She’s just really overexcited.”

He laughs. “I think she’s wonderful,” he replies. “Will I see you at the reception?”

Addie frowns. “What’s a sep-shin?” Addie asks Happy.

“It’s the party I was talking about,” Happy explains.

Addie turns back to Paige’s grandfather. “I will be at the party,” she announces.

“May I have a dance, then?” he asks, looking over at Happy at the same time Addie does.

“Sure,” Happy says. “Addie?”

She nods. “I like dancing with grandpas.”

Happy is shuffled over to the photos and she ends up half stumbling over her dress.

“Whoa!” says Toby, catching her arm. “Can’t have both of my girls falling over.”

“Daddy!” Addie squeals. “Mommy, I found Daddy!”

“Daddy found us,” Happy corrects. “Ready for pictures?”

Toby nods. “They were trying to find you, but I told them I have Addie radar and could find you guys in under a minute.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Did you?”

He sighs. “A minute and sixteen seconds,” he says. “But that’s because Paige’s Aunt Bea kissed me all over my face like I was a nine year old at a first communion.”

“Don’t kids do that at six?” Happy asks, following him back to the altar.

Toby shrugs. “How should I know? I was raised by heathens.”

Addie and Max are grabbed first by the photographer to take pictures, and the shots are adorable. But one thing is stuck in Happy’s mind.

“So how, exactly, are we going to keep our toddler daughter in line until whenever we head to bed?” she mutters. “She’s seen all the episodes on my phone about thirty times. She’s getting sick of them.”

Toby pats his pockets. “Give me one second.” He pulls out his phone, a pack of Addie’s puff snacks, and a finger puppet, all from his pants pockets.

“Why are men’s pants so much roomier than women’s?” Happy asks. “That’s ridiculous.”

“And I downloaded three new episodes of Doc McStuffins,” he says, wiggling his phone at her. “Our kid is going to be entertained as fuck.”

“That is a sentence that has never been said before,” Happy decides.

Addie is looking unreasonably cute as she and Max keep posing with each other. Happy’s glad that the ring bearer is willing to play with Addie, despite the age difference.

“And now, the best man and maid of honor –” begins the photographer.

“Actually, can you hold off on that?” Paige asks, holding up a hand. “I want a few of just the kids.”

“I’m fifteen, Mom,” Ralph says, sighing.

Paige makes an exaggerated sigh back. “You’re still a kid to me, Ralph,” she replies.

Ralph walks into the picture and, immediately, it gets more adorable. The kids cling to him immediately, and the pictures they get are going to be perfect.

“Those are going on the fridge,” Toby decides. “Why are our kids so cute?”

Stella sighs next to him. “I know, right?” she says. “Makes you want another one, doesn’t it.”

Toby turns to Happy wiggling his eyebrows. “I mean –”

“Nope,” Happy decides. “Not yet, at least.”

“I’ll bet she’s a handful just by herself,” Stella says, nodding to Addie, who is now sitting on the floor in her flower girl dress trying to teach Ralph and Max the handclapping game she’d invented. “Smart, though.”

“She’s brilliant,” Toby corrects proudly, sticking out his chest a little. “She’s already got her alphabet down, she knows her letter sounds, and can count to ninety-nine. And she reads.”

“Only ninety-nine?” Stella jokes.

“She calls one hundred ‘a nun dead’,” Happy clarifies, “so we just try to stop her before she gets there.”

Stella grins. “I know of another kid who was like that at two,” she nods over to Ralph. “Except for him, he wasn’t talking like she is.”

“It’s getting her to be quiet that’s the trick,” Toby mutters. “But, yeah. She’s a talker.”

The photos continue, and Paige insists on a million of Happy, Toby, and Addie, and then some of Toby and Happy on their own while Ralph settles Addie on his shoulders.

“You’re not doing your real smile,” Toby says.

“Neither are you,” Happy replies.

He pokes her in the side. “Hah! Now I’ve got a smile.”

“We are in a church!” Happy replies, but she can’t stop laughing.

“There we go!” the photograph says. “Jeez, it’s like I can’t make you guys smile unless your daughter is in the picture.”

“Mommy, Daddy, look at me!” Addie exclaims, clapping her hands. And that’s when she squishes her face together, sending the entire place into giggles.

The photographer gets a bunch of shots in, just enough before Addie and Happy lose their minds, and that’s when Addie starts to yawn.

“Not to be obnoxious,” Toby says, taking Addie, “but can we get in the group photos before she needs an N – A – P?”

“What’s a nape?” Addie asks.

Happy groans. “You can spell already?” she asks. “That’s not even fair.”

Addie yawns again. “I pell,” she replies.

Group photos are mercifully short, and Paige gives them all hugs and Addie a kiss on the cheek before Happy and Toby take her back to the hotel.

“We have,” he checks his phone, “an hour and a half before we need to be downstairs for the reception. Can we make it?”

Happy nods. “I mean, Addie’s already asleep. We’ll set her down on the bed and wake her up when we need to get up again. Easy.”

“Works for me.” Toby kicks off his shoes and loosens his tie. “Is it bad that I sort of hate wedding ceremonies?”

“No,” Happy replies. “Weddings exhaust me.”

“Not weddings,” Toby explains. “The ceremonies. Like, when we get married, I’m writing my own vows.” He falls back on the bed next to Addie. “Maybe on the rooftop, windy day. You in a white dress. Addie in an outfit she chose for herself.” He sighs, closing his eyes. “That’s all I’d need.”

Happy blinks and looks at him. And looks at him. And looks at him.

“You’ve really thought about all that, haven’t you?” Happy asks, sitting on the bed next to him. She pulls off her heels, settling them on the floor next to Toby’s shoes.

Toby opens one eye. “What? Maybe. Yes,” Toby admits. “I’ve thought about it. Ever since you kissed me that first time.”

“Damn,” Happy says, snuggling up next to him and resting her head on his chest. “Since you I kissed you that first time? That’s moving pretty fast, isn’t it?”

He wraps an arm around her shoulders. “I knew I –”

“Nope,” Happy says, putting her hand over Toby’s mouth. “No Savage Garden quotes. Not this time.”

Toby licks her hand.

“You’re a child,” she says, wiping her hand on his pants. “And gross.”

Toby rolls his eyes. “Hey, we should set an alarm. Just in case we fall asleep.”

“We’re not going to fall asleep,” Happy replies. She yawns.

The alarm goes off an hour later, and Happy can’t believe her dress isn’t wrinkled.

“Is Addie still –”

“Time for party?” she asks, popping up from the other side of Toby. “Mommy, party time? A sep-shun, right?”

“Reception,” Happy corrects. “We’re going to the reception.”

“Yeah, Mommy, it’s a party,” Addie says with an absurd amount of attitude for someone who sometimes can’t make it to the potty in time.

Happy turns to Toby. “That sass is your fault,” she sighs.

Happy has a two minute argument with her toddler about whether or not going potty is necessary, but there’s very little victory when she wins.

They make it to the reception hall just in time for Mrs. Dineen to shout, “There you are!”

“Where are we?” Addie asks Happy.

Happy thinks about sick puppies to try not to laugh.

“Sorry we’re late Mrs. Dineen,” Toby says. “Kiddo needed a nap.”

Mrs. Dineen groans. “Fine, fine, whatever.”

They introduce the bridal party and Addie, Toby, and Happy walk in together to cheers. They swing Addie and Happy pretends she didn’t half trip over the hem of her dress.

And then they wait at the bridal party’s table, and they turn, just in time to hear Mr. Dineen announce, “And now introducing, the newly married, Mr. and Mrs. O’Brien!”

The entire room cheers, Addie yelling, “Go Aunnie Pay!” at the top of her lungs as she jumps in excitement.

“Addie, safely, please,” Toby says, eying the table and all the glasses set on it so carefully. “I don’t want you bumping the table.”

“Daddy, please, I’m clapping,” Addie says firmly.

Happy laughs.

“Oh, come on,” Toby says, grinning at her, “you’re supposed to be on my side!”

Paige leads Walter to the dance floor, who hesitantly settles his hand on her waist. They look young, somehow, out there, innocent like they haven’t fought the world and themselves to reach this point. Walter reaches up to brush Paige’s hair from her face and even Happy has to admit her heart feels it. The song begins, and Toby cries at Walter and Paige’s first dance.

“But only because he’s not freaking out or stepping on her toes,” he clarifies.

“Mama, they’re so happy,” Addie says softly. She’s sitting on Happy’s lap, watching Paige and Walter with a sort of awestruck interest. “Did you and Daddy dance?”

“We did, baby,” Happy replies. “A long time ago.”

“Before me?” Addie asks.

Happy nods. “And after you,” Happy explains.

“Like this?” Addie asks.

“Not quite,” Happy replies. She looks over at Toby and down at the ring she wears, one that represents a question attempted twice but never truly asked. “But soon.”

“I get a dress for then too?” Addie looks incredibly interested now.

Happy laughs. “Of course you do.”

Paige dances with her father next, and then with Ralph. He looks grown up in his suit and in the bright lights of the venue.

Paige is beaming throughout everything, and then she walks up and grabs the microphone.

“And now,” she says, grinning, “I’d like to call my flower girl, Miss Addie Quinn, up to the dance floor.”

Addie’s eyes widen. “Me?” she says, turning to Happy.

“Go ahead!” Happy replies. But she really doesn’t know where this is going.

Addie toddles out, looking tiny on the big dance floor, until she reaches Paige, who takes her hand and kneels down to her level. The microphone is away from their mouths so Happy can’t figure out what they’re saying. But, from the excitement in Addie’s eyes, she can tell it’s something great.

Paige puts the microphone up to Addie’s mouth.

“Wadies and jennerman,” Addie says, “we got a song to sing.”

Ralph rushes to the DJ who gives him a second microphone, and hands it to Paige.

And then they break into the most energetic version of I See the Light, from Addie’s recent favorite Tangled, that Happy’s ever seen.

“That’s why she’s wanted to watch it so many times!” Toby says. “It makes sense now.”

“She was practicing,” Happy sighs. “Oh, she’s good. Why is she good?”

“Because the world had to torment us with singing lessons,” Toby says with a smile. “Though, look at her. She couldn’t be happier.”

Happy rests her head on Toby’s shoulder. “You’ve got that right.”

Addie runs up to them at the end of the song and pulls on both of their clothing. “Guys, we got the theme song next! All us!”

“The – wait, what?” And then Happy watches as Toby recognizes the guitar riff.

“Oh,” Toby says, grinning, “oh, this is gonna be good.”

Ray comes out with the whole team to sing Rock You Like a Hurricane, and so do Tim, and Cabe, and Ralph. It’s a ridiculous song, distressingly out of place at a formal wedding, but it’s worth it to see the absolute horror on Mrs. Dineen’s face.

Paige is glowing. “I like this part of weddings,” she laughs.

When the song ends, Happy grabs Toby’s hand.

“Hey, Pops, you got an eye on the munchkin?” Happy asks.

Cabe nods. “I’m going to teach her how to waltz.”

“Good.”

She drags Toby into the bathroom.

“We’re really doing this?” Toby asks loosening his tie.

“Yep,” Happy replies, shoving down her underwear. “We’re doing it in the reception hall bathroom?”

“We wouldn’t be us if we didn’t.” Toby doesn’t say anything else, pulling her toward him and kissing her hard. It takes them only ten minutes – ten minutes – before Happy’s hair is messed up and they’re both sated and smug.

“One kid and a couple dozen life threatening experiences later, and we’ve still got it,” Toby says, zipping up his dress pants. “How are we so great?”

Happy shrugs as she shuffles her dress down her feet, making sure there aren’t any wrinkles. “Not sure,” she replies. “But you completely screwed up my hair, which is,” she pokes at it. “Not good.”

“I kind of like it,” Toby says, leaning in and kissing her neck.

“Oh, not that again,” Happy says, leaning into his touch. “If we start that again it’ll be another ten minutes and by that time people will start wondering where we are.”

“I bet I could do it in five,” he says.

Happy makes herself step away. “We have a small child who is more than likely eating pieces of wedding cake that Cabe is sneaking her. And we’re the ones who will have to manage that mess in about two hours.”

Toby pulls back and adjusts his coat. “You make a compelling point.” He studies himself in the mirror. “What do you think?” He holds his hands open. “Do I look presentable?”

“You never look presentable,” Happy says, licking her lips.

“No, don’t look at me like that,” Toby says, stepping away. “If you look at me like that, I can’t control myself.”

Happy grins at him. “Well, I’ll just have to stop looking like this then.”

“Not sure that’s possible,” Toby mutters.

Happy walks out of the bathroom first, trying to make sure her hair is acceptable before stepping back into the reception hall.

Paige mobs her immediately. “You guys had sex in the bathroom, didn’t you?” she demands.

Happy’s eyes widen. “How the hell do you know that?”

Paige gestures to her. “Well, for one, your hair wasn’t up in a ponytail twenty minutes ago.”

Happy frowns. “You have a point.”

Paige rolls her eyes. “At least you’re having fun. I’ve barely gotten five minutes with Walter all night. My mom’s making me meet up with all of her friends.” She scoffs. “Like I care about any of them.”

Happy grins. “I’ve got an idea.”

Toby walks into the room. “Oh, come on,” he groans. “The sneaky walking out of the bathroom thing doesn’t work if you don’t make it all the way back into the reception hall.”

“Shut up,” Happy says, “we’re getting Paige and Walter laid.”

“We’re doing what now?” Paige and Toby say at the same time.

“I hate how similar you two can be,” Happy sighs. “Look, Paige, wait in the bathroom. I’ll go get Walter.”

Toby’s eyebrows shoot up. “We’re sending them to have sex in the bathroom?” he asks.

“Okay, don’t look like that,” Paige says. “You did the exact same thing less than five minutes ago.”

“You have a point,” Toby says.

Paige laughs. “Oh, okay, and me and Toby are alike,” she says with an eye roll.

Happy walks away as Paige walks into the bathroom in her dress, and Toby catches Happy’s hand. “Hap, wait.”

“What?”

“Let me bother Walter with this,” he says. “There’s a tiny two year old who is very clearly breaking it down on the dance floor with the best man, and I think she wants her mommy.”

Happy looks over to where Toby nods, and sees Addie in Ralph’s arms as they spin and twirl, Cabe coaching them on a waltz that looks pretty good to Happy’s untrained eye.

“Damn, our kid is cute,” Happy sighs. “Look at her.”

“I know,” Toby sighs. Addie’s laughter echoes over to them. “Kind of perfect, isn’t she.” He settles his hands on Happy’s waist. “And now you have to go dance with our daughter.” He pushes her toward the dance floor. “Go!”

Happy stumbles in her heels as she walks over to Ralph and Addie.

“Mommy!” Addie exclaims, reaching out to her. Happy catches her before Addie can fall, swooping her up in her arms.

“Hey, kiddo,” Happy says, settling Addie on her hip. “Having fun?”

Addie nods, looking elated. “Walphie is the bestest dancer of all,” she says seriously.

Happy looks at him. “Ralph, is there anything you can’t do?”

“Not as of right now,” Ralph replies, grinning.

There’s dancing and cake and more dancing, toasts from Stella and Ralph, both of whom make the entire place cry. Addie tries a bite of Toby’s salmon which turns into Addie eating all of it, and Happy gets mobbed by Max who asks to watch, “Just a little more Bubble Guppies?”

By the time the dancing starts up again, Addie looks sleepy, but Happy knows: she and Toby aren’t quite ready to go up.

“We’d better go,” Happy says hesitantly. She looks over at Toby. “She’s getting tired.”

Addie shakes her head as she snuggles on Sly’s lap. “No tired, Mommy. I got Uncle Silly.”

“I’ll take her,” says Sylvester, yawning. “The two of us can watch some movies in the hotel room while you two love birds have fun.” He looks around. “It’s getting a little loud in here for me.”

Addie nods, swinging the hand she’s got settled in Sylvester’s. “I show Uncle Silly the Mulan movie.” She sits up. “I teach him the songs!”

“He’s going to love it,” Toby says pointedly.

Sylvester nods. “Love it, I will,” he confirms. “Ready to go, Addie?”

“Movie time!” Addie exclaims. She takes off in her flower girl dress down the hallway, yanking Sylvester behind her.

“Apparently she really wasn’t tired,” Happy says.

“So,” Toby says, taking Happy’s hand in his. “Our child is with a trusted adult.”

“Yup,” Happy says, following as Toby walks back to the dance floor.

“We have music, and a romantic atmosphere, and each other,” he says, looking down at her with this moony-eyed expression that would make Happy laugh if it wasn’t such a serious moment.

“Yeah.” Happy’s heart is beating fast for no reason.

Toby leans in and kisses Happy, soft, sweet. In front of everybody Paige and her mother have ever met, in front of Walter’s parents and a priest and an old lady who smacked Toby’s ass an hour before.

Instead of running, Happy pulls him closer. “I love you,” she murmurs against his lips, because there’s something happening, something’s building in her heart that she can’t control or hold back. It happens more and more frequently now since Addie, that feeling that she’s in this for the long haul, that even bad moments make their family worth it.

“I love you times infinity,” Toby replies. He rests his forehead against hers. “Always.”

Happy nods, stepping closer to rest her head on his shoulder. In her heels she’s almost too tall for this to be comfortable, but she doesn’t care. She wants to be close to him.

“Out of curiosity,” Toby says, trailing his fingertips up and down Happy’s back, “how much champagne have you had?”

“Shut up,” Happy laughs. “I’m not drunk. I had one glass.”

“Really?” Toby says, swaying to some 80’s love song she’s sure Toby knows all the lyrics to. “Because you’re getting handsy in public and you just told me you loved me within earshot of actual humans.”

Happy punches him lightly in the chest. “I just love you. Don’t be a jackass, jackass.”

“But I’m your jackass,” Toby replies, tucking a loose curl away. “Did I mention how beautiful you look?”

Happy shrugs. “You’ve said a thing or two.”

“I can’t wait to marry you,” he says after a moment’s silence.

Happy can’t fight her smile. “You’ve got to ask me the right way, first,” she replies.

“Oh, I will,” Toby says. “And when I get to see you walk down that aisle,” he shakes his head, “you’re going to knock my socks off.”

“Did you have to say that like a grandpa?” Happy laughs.

Toby shrugs. “What can I say? Dad jokes are my specialty. And grandpa compliments are too.”


	67. Addie, 2 years 11 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addie can read, be a flower girl, and charm the pants off of anyone. But she hasn't been part of working on the car - yet.

“Hap, I’m not sure how great of an idea this is,” Toby says warily.

“What do you mean?” Happy asks. She’s hauling in a container of motor oil while Addie lugs Happy’s smallest tool kit behind her. Happy throws a glance behind her to see Addie with the biggest grin on her face.

“I mean,” Toby looks down at Addie. “She’s in her princess dress. I don’t want her to have a fit if the princess dress gets oily.”

“No o-wee,” Addie replies, picking up two wrenches and absent mindedly drumming out some pattern to a song that’s playing in her head, “I’m careful.”

“You’re two,” Toby corrects, kneeling down to her level. “Sweetie, how about no princess dress for car time, okay?”

Addie nods. “No princess dress.” Before Happy or Toby can say anything, Addie bolts off into the Addie Space.

“That was too easy,” Toby says, fiddling with his hat. “Why was that so easy?”

Happy frowns. “Somehow I’m more concerned now than I’ve ever been in parenting.” She sets down the oil and is ready to go investigate whatever the hell Addie’s doing, but Addie sprints out of the Addie Space again wearing a neon pink tutu, a tee shirt that’s about eight sizes too big, and a pair of Toby’s slippers.

“Oh, she’s gonna fall,” Toby says, sprinting toward her. Happy’s always impressed with how he knows exactly which times are going to end in Addie getting injured, but she thinks he just really understands how tiny toddler bodies work. Also, most of the time Addie’s running toward them excitedly, she’s going to fall. So maybe he’s just got a lot of lucky guesses under his belt.

Toby manages to catch Addie right before she face plants onto the poorly carpeted floor.

“Hi, Daddy!” she announces. “I’m wearing Daddy shoes. Daddy shoes are for working.”

“Not on cars, they aren’t,” Happy mutters.

“Mommy’s being silly,” Toby says, swinging Addie and settling her on his hip. “Hey, Hap, can our kid be a dancer mechanic?”

Happy looks at the outfit. The shirt will cover the tutu as well as they can hope, and Addie can always get another tutu if this one gets damaged.

“We have a ballerina mechanic,” Happy decides. “Come on, kiddo, let’s get started.”

“No dance,” Addie insists. “Music!”

“Musician mechanic,” Toby amends. “How’s that?”

“Good!” Addie turns and beams up at Toby. “Mommy’s gonna teach me how to fix a o-wul today.”

“She’s teaching you how to fix the oil?!” he exclaims. He repeats basically everything Addie says incorrectly, which, understandably, needs to happen. But god is it annoying to be on the other end of it.

Addie nods. “So much,” she says, nodding sagely. “The o-wul is so much broken.”

Toby’s doing a terrible job of not giggling. “I’m so glad we have you here to fix it, beautiful.” He gives her a big smacking kiss on the cheek and Addie giggles delightedly.

“You guys are adorable,” Paige says. She looks over to Walter and, very loudly, says, “I sure want one of those.”

“We don’t have fifty thousand dollars saved yet!” Walter shoots back.

“What’s that about?” Happy asks Paige as she sets up the creeper. Addie grabs her wrenches again from where she dropped them on the ground and starts drumming something that may be either Nirvana or Lion King, which have begun to blend in Happy’s mind.

“Walter’s got it in his head that, because babies are expensive, we need fifty grand saved up before we can even consider kids.” She wrinkles her nose. “Technically, we already do, but somebody,” she looks over at Walter, “has made a designated baby fund. Because he’s weird.”

“He is weird,” Toby agrees. “But that’s not a bad plan.” He looks down at Addie. “We need more in your baby fund, baby.”

“I’m not a baby,” Addie says definitively. “Not call me baby.”

“Don’t call me baby,” Toby corrects.

Addie looks confused. “I didn’t call you baby,” she replies.

Paige laughs, and Addie smiles up at her. “I love you, Addie girl,” Paige says.

Paige kisses the top of Addie’s head and has a conversation with Toby about paperwork components and exactly why it’s inappropriate to call the head of the Secret Service a psychopath in the official report, while Happy settles Addie on her own little creeper, one she’d designed herself. Addie wheels herself next to Happy’s creeper. Happy knows, logically, that Addie’s hair is nowhere near long enough to get stuck under the wheels, but Happy’s pretty much always going to be traumatized by that one incident when she was working at the chop shop at fifteen and her hair got tangled in the tires. It led to an involuntary bowl cut and a year of avoiding pictures.

Addie looks up under the car. “Whoa.”

“Whoa, what?” Happy asks.

“Look it,” Addie says. “What’s this do?”

Happy explains the point of that part of the car.

“What’s that?” Addie asks, pointing to something else.

This goes on for fifteen minutes, and Happy can’t believe that Addie’s the one driving the conversation. Addie likes socializing, which Toby tries to claim as his genetic influence, but Happy argues that all babies like socializing. This car stuff is all Happy.

“What’s this?” Addie asks, pointing at the oil tank.

“That,” Happy says, “is today’s project.” Happy rolls Addie closer. “Alright, come here and I’ll help you touch it, okay?”

“It hot?” Addie asks.

“Check your words,” Toby says from across the garage.

She thinks for a second. “Is it hot?” Addie asks.

Happy shakes her head. “No – it’s cool right now. What do you think would happen if we touched it when the car was going?”

“We get squish squash by tires,” Addie says solemnly.

Happy’s about to disagree before she realizes Addie’s completely right. “Okay, yes,” Happy agrees. “We would be squish squashed by tires, but what if the car wasn’t moving, but was still on?”

“Hot hot,” Addie decides after a moment of thought. “Too hot.”

“Exactly,” Happy says. “Do you ever touch the car parts when Mommy and Daddy aren’t around?”

Addie shakes her head. “No touch,” she decides. “Not without Mommy.”

“Or Daddy,” Happy clarifies.

Addie shakes her head again. “Cars are Mommy,” she says definitively. “Books are Daddy.”

“I read books!” Happy replies.

“Books are Daddy’s friends,” Addie explains. “Cars are Mommy’s friends.”

Happy stares at Addie for a minute, who is poking at different parts of the car’s undercarriage. “Your dad and I need to get out more.”

Addie grabs the container they’re using to catch the oil. “Mommy, oil now?”

“Yes!” Happy says. “You said oil right!”

“O-wul?” Addie asks. “Yes. I say it right.”

Happy sighs. They’ll get there. “Okay, Addie Grace, right under the oil tank.”

“Here?”

Happy shakes her head. “Not quite. How about –” She nudges Addie about half an inch. “There we go.” She draws a line in the air from the oil tank to the container. “See? It will dribble right into the bucket and we won’t get oily at all.”

“Okay,” Addie says. She reaches up, and it’s adorable to see the focus and concentration as she tries to twist the cover off. It goes on for a few minutes before she turns to Happy, her face red and exhausted. “Mommy, it stuck.”

“Are there any tools here that can unstick it?” Happy asks. She watches Addie wiggle herself and her mini creeper down to her tools. Happy rolls herself next to Addie. “What do you think?”

Addie sits primly and wipes her greasy hands on her tutu before Happy can stop her. She’s growing it out of it anyway, but Happy can’t help but cringe. “That one,” she says, “the fuckit wrench.”

Happy looks up when she hears Toby coughing. “What did you teach our daughter?!” he exclaims from his desk, mopping up the yogurt he’d spat out.

Addie holds up a socket wrench. “A fuckit wrench!” she says, appearing incredibly proud of herself. “See, Mommy? It opens the oil tank!”

“On the bright side, at least she’s saying ‘oil’ correctly,” Happy says apologetically, grinning up at Toby.

He points at her with his spoon. “This is your fault.”

Addie frowns. “No fuckit wrench?”

Happy nods. “We use the socket wrench,” she says, stretching out her words. “Socket wrench.”

“Yeah,” Addie says, looking confused. “Fuckit wrench.”

“The hilarious thing is that any speech pathologist would be impressed that she can accurately say the f sound,” Toby says, grinning.

Happy picks up the wrench and hands it to Addie. “Socket wrench.”

“Fockit wrech.”

“Closer!” Happy says.

“Say ‘sock’, baby,” Toby says, walking over with his yogurt and sitting next to Happy on her creeper.

“Fock,” Addie says.

Happy looks over to Toby. “Nice try there, Daddy.”

“Mommy, can we just fix the o-wul?” she asks. “Daddy doesn’t do cars.”

Happy sighed. “Well that didn’t last long. Yes, we can fix the oil.”

As much as she tried, as many times as she told Addie to keep her hand out of the way, Addie manages to stick her hand right under the oil as it drains out of the car, getting her entire arm covered. It dribbles down the Robotics Competition 2016 shirt Ralph had given her the year before, making strangely colored stains along the iron on.

“Mommy, it’s goopy!” Addie squeals in delight. “Like the gloop Daddy makes!”

“It’s not like the gloop Daddy makes,” Happy says, scrabbling for a towel to mop Addie up. “That’s for play time. This is not for play time.”

Addie pouts. “No play time?”

Happy shakes her head. “No play time.”

Addie’s pout grows. “Take off o-wul?”

“Yes, of course, Addie,” Happy replies. “Once I find a –”

“Looking for this?” Toby asks, popping his head under the car. “Hey there, my girls.”

“Hi, Daddy,” Addie says waving with her oil covered hand. “I covered in o-wul.”

“Yes, you are covered in oil,” Toby replies. “How about we take care of that.”

Happy finishes cleaning up the oil while Toby mops Addie up, and she’s ready right in time for Happy to show Addie how to pour the oil in.

“Where do you think we pop the hood?” Happy asks.

Addie pokes at the bumper. “Here?”

Happy shakes her head and Addie frowns. She starts climbing up the bumper.

“Oh, hold up,” Happy says. “Here, let me show you.” She takes Addie to the driver’s side of the car and pops open the hood.

“Oh,” Addie says. “Like the gas button, but not.”

“Exactly,” Happy says.

“Do you ever touch either of those without Mommy or Daddy?” Toby adds.

“Not without Mommy,” Addie agrees.

Toby frowns. “Or Daddy.”

Addie sighs. “Daddy books. Mommy cars.”

“I know how to do cars!” Toby says. “I was a street kid. I can hotwire.”

“Not as well as I can,” Happy scoffs.

“Hot wires are not safe,” Addie says, shaking her head. “No safe at all.”

Toby’s visibly trying to control himself. “That – that is true, Addie. But it’s a different kind of hot wire.”

“We do not touch hot,” Addie pronounces. “It’s a class rule.”

“I see,” Toby says. “Tell me more of your class rules.”

“You get what you get and you don’t get upset,” Addie begins, “say no to bullies.” She pauses. “And something ‘bout the potty.”

Happy looks at her as she opens the hood. “What?”

“I don’t remember,” Addie says, holding her arms out. “Miss Eva will tell me.”

“You really love Miss Eva, don’t you,” Happy says.

Addie nods. “She goes to big school next year!” She grins. “Lots of big school. Grown up school.”

“College?” Happy asks. She can already see where this is going.

Addie nods. “I think so. She is a-sited.”

“Excited,” Toby corrects.

Happy, Toby, and Addie finish changing the oil as Addie talks about how great Miss Eva is and how excited she is for the next year, and Happy feels a little bit of worry settle in her stomach. It stays there for the afternoon, through Addie’s nap and paperwork, through dinner, through bedtime.

“Hey, Toby?” Happy says, after trying and failing for half an hour to sleep. No response. She pokes at his shoulder. “Doc.”

He makes an incoherent grunting noise that could mean he’s awake or asleep – she doesn’t always know with him.

“Doc, wake up.”

“’sall good?” he asks. He sounds drunk, still in the firm hold of sleep.

“Yeah, it’s fine, but –”

“Night sleep,” Toby says, rolling over. “Sleep at night, I mean. Go to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep.”

She watches his eyes open, reflecting off the light from the moon coming in through the open window. “What’s up?”

“Eva’s going to college,” Happy says. She hopes it’s enough to get Toby on the same page. “Probably really soon.”

“Correct,” he says. He’s lost – no idea what she’s trying to say. She can’t blame him. “What’s the problem?”

“There’s no way she’s going to be coming in Tuesdays and Thursdays every day anymore,” Happy says. “Addie’s not going to have her.”

Toby frowns. “Yeah, I thought about that too.”

“Got any ideas?” Happy asks.

Toby reaches out and rubs Happy’s arm. It’s too hot to be this close, even in early September, but Happy’s worried enough that he’ll let him get this close. “We’ll explain it to her,” Toby says. “And I’ll call her teacher in the morning, check in to make sure that the kids know and we can talk to Addie about it.”

Happy nods, only slightly calmed. “Okay.”

“Go to sleep, Hap,” Toby says, pulling her close. “We can’t fix it right now.”

“Wish we could,” she mumbles, burying her face in Toby’s chest. It’s where she feels safest, the most like she doesn’t have to watch her back.

“We will fix it,” Toby mumbles, and it’s clear he’s getting back into the throes of sleep. “As soon as we wake up.”

~

Happy wakes up to see Toby on the phone already, smiling.

“Fantastic,” he says. “That’s great news, yes. I’ll let them know.” He hangs up. “Guess what.”

“What?” Happy asks. She sits up, blinking. As it often happens, Addie woke up in the middle of the night and curled up in between them, dead to the world as she sleeps with her blankie and Betty Teddy.

“Eva’s not leaving the preschool.”

Happy shakes her head, because that doesn’t make any sense. “What? How’s that work?”

“Eva’s going to UCLA,” Toby explains. “And she’s in an accelerated early childhood program. They’re giving her course credit for working at Addie’s preschool, so she’s staying.”

Happy would be more excited if she weren’t half asleep. “So I freaked out for no reason?”

“Incorrect,” Toby says. “You were concerned for your daughter and, out of that concern, came up with a game plan.” He raises an eyebrow. “Give yourself some credit, super mom.”

“To be fair, you came up with the game plan and you made the phone call,” Happy says, snuggling back into bed. “I just woke you up in the middle of the night to talk nonsense.”

“Fine, your worry was the inspiration,” Toby says. “God, you love to argue.”

“No, I don’t,” Happy shoots back. She wants to shove Toby and his stupid smug grin off the bed. “Oh, don’t look so pleased with yourself.”

“Oh, I will be pleased with myself,” Toby says, pulling the blanket over Addie. “Because I’m fantastic. Are there super parent awards?”

“Don’t be dumb,” Happy mumbles. She’s already closed her eyes. She knows Addie will be awake soon – she’s not holding out for sleep past nine ever again – but if she can get in at least a little more shuteye, she’ll be happy.

“Oh, I’m sorry, who has the multiple PhD’s and an MD to boot?” Toby says. Happy swats at his hand as he reaches over to mess with her hair.

“I’m going to punch you in the face,” Happy mutters.

“Hands to yourself, Mommy,” Addie mumbles.

Happy opens her eyes and shares a surprised look with Toby.

Addie sits up. “That’s a classroom rule!” she turns to Toby. “Pancakes?”

“And, just like that, no more sleep,” Happy laughs. “Good morning.”

Addie’s big smile warms her heart. “Hi, Mommy.”


	68. Addie, 3 years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Addie's third birthday. And she is hoping for one thing and one thing only.

Addie wakes them up by belting out her rendition of “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” and jumping on their bed.

“Let her watch Disney movies, you said,” Toby grumbles, looking exhausted. “It will hold her attention longer than anything else, you said.”

“Don’t listen to your dork dad,” Happy says, sitting up and reaching for Addie. She jumps into Happy’s arms, headbutting her directly in the chin. “Ow!”

“You okay, Mama?” Addie asks. And when she looks up with those eyes, Happy doesn’t think she could be mad about anything.

“Why’d you have to inherit the puppy dog look?” Happy asks her, running her fingers through Addie’s tangled hair.

“Because I’m cute like a puppy,” Addie replies.

“Well, she’s not wrong,” Toby adds.

“Guess what day it is?” Addie says, rolling around in between in them. “Mommy, guess!”

“It’s Saturday, right?” Happy says.

Addie face plants onto Happy’s chest, with a little more force than strictly necessary. “Yeah, Mommy, but it’s more!” she exclaims. “Mommy, it’s my birthday!”

“It’s your birthday?!” Toby exclaims. “No way!”

Addie nods. “Mommy, tell him.”

“Three years ago right now I was in bed asleep with you,” she tickles Addie’s tummy, “rolling around in my belly.” Addie curls herself around Happy’s arm. “And I couldn’t wait for you to come into the world so we could meet you.”

Addie frowns. “So I’m not really three,” she says, looking sad.

“You’re three years old at ten twenty-four tonight, baby girl,” Toby explains. “So you can say you’re three years old today.”

“Yay!” Addie exclaims. “I think I will like being three.”

“I’m sure you will,” Happy says. Before she can say anything else, she yawns.

“And do you still want to go to the guitar shop for your big birthday adventure?” Toby asks. “Because we can go to a park or to Disneyland.”

Addie shakes her head. “I want to go to the music shop and look around at in-stuh-mins,” Addie insists. “When does it open?”

“It opens in two hours,” Happy replies, checking the time on her phone. “Addie, you woke up at six in the morning.”

“Yeah, it’s my birthday!” she replies. “I gotta be early for my birthday.”

“She’s got a point there, Hap.” Toby props himself up on his elbow. “How about we do something special for the first hour of your birthday?”

Addie’s face lights up even more. “Like what, Daddy?”

“We’re going to watch TV in bed,” he says, and Happy immediately catches on to his scheme.

Addie snuggles back down. “Doc McStuffins!” she demands.

“Oh, god, not again,” Happy groans, because she’s fairly certain she could recite every episode of this damn kid’s show by heart without even trying.

“Shush, Mommy, we’re watching whatever our birthday girl wants.” But Toby’s look is pointed over Addie’s head, telling her without words that he’s going to let the two of them fall back to sleep.

“Deal,” Happy says, yawning. Toby settles them with the iPad and Addie snuggles into Happy’s chest. Happy pulls her close, and it’s moments like these where she’s struck with the realization that this is real, that this is her family that she helped build. That this is her daughter who is wonderful and beautiful and amazing, her daughter who loves her.

“Happy birthday, Addie Grace,” Happy says quietly, kissing the top of Addie’s head. Her heart does some strange little skip as she holds Addie close.

“Love you, Mommy,” Addie replies, but she’s already sounding drowsy.

Addie’s out by the end of the first episode, and Happy follows as the second one starts up the theme song. Her dream involves Doc McStuffins, Addie, and Cabe doing a fairly elaborate ballet recital to the dulcet tones of Black Sabbath.

She wakes up to the smell of pancakes and the sound of Addie exclaiming, “Mommy, Daddy’s making me a birthday breakfast! You gotta get up!”

Happy blinks her eyes open. “I gotta what?”

Addie leaps across Happy’s body to scramble to the other side of the bed. She grabs Happy’s hand and pulls hard enough that Happy, still half asleep, slides off the bed, taking the comforter with her. She lands with a thud hard enough that Toby comes rushing into the room, bottle of syrup still in his hands.

“What – Happy, why are you on the floor?” he asks, looking baffled.

“Ask your daughter,” Happy replies, pushing herself up to sit. The blankets weigh on her, but apparently they look comfortable to Addie, because she crawls on top of Happy, rolling around in the fluffy comforter.

“Did you knock Mommy off the bed?” Toby asks, smiling.

Addie shakes her head. “I didn’t knock her off,” she explains. “I pulled her off.”

“You what?” he asks. “How did you do that?”

She points to her arm, flexing. “Daddy, I got guns.”

Toby blinks. “Where’d you get that from?”

“I saw a TV show,” Addie explains sagely.

Toby gives Happy a look.

“Don’t look at me!” Happy exclaims. “You’re the one who showed her Wile E Coyote getting flattened by an anvil. That’s clearly a bad influence.” She pulls Addie close, giving her a big hug.

Addie beams up at her. “Mommy, it’s my birthday.”

“Yes it is,” she replies, yawning again. “Time for birthday fun?”

Addie lights up. “All the fun!” she decides. “Right now.”

“Right now?” Happy asks.

Addie nods. “Right now.” She scrambles to her feet, tripping on the comforter only a handful of times, and darts off into the kitchen. Happy and Toby follow her, and Addie squeals when she sees the present on top of her seat at the kitchen table. “I open a present now?” she asks, bouncing.

Happy nods. “Go ahead, kid.”

By the end of the next hour, Addie is covered in maple syrup and strawberries, jumping like a kangaroo over every single present.

“You got me socks?!” Addie shrieks, holding them up to Toby. “Daddy, my socks have hats on them!”

“I know!” Toby replies with the same amount of energy. “Aren’t they cool?”

Addie takes a running leap at Toby and wraps her arms around him, just as he picks her up. He spins her. “Honestly, baby, I thought you would have been more excited about your little trampoline,” he sighs.

“But my hats have socks on them!” Addie exclaims. She pauses. “My socks have hats on them.”

“Correct,” Happy says. “But we haven’t told you our big present yet.”

Addie’s eyes widen. “There’s more than my hat socks and my trampoline and my –”

“Yes,” Happy interrupts, because she knows their kid would go over all thirteen gifts she was given, from the chocolate bar to the trampoline to the little Christmas tree ornament in the shape of a wrench, if they let her. “More than that.”

Addie flops back in Toby’s arms, hanging upside down in his arms. “Oh, my goodness,” she sighs. “Oh, my goodness, this is so a-siting.”

Happy laughs. “Alright, kiddo, let’s get you cleaned up. We have a lot of work to do before you’ll be presentable enough to bring out in public.”

“I’m so presen-da-ble!” Addie argues. She pulls herself up, yanking on Toby’s arms so that she’s vertical again. “I’m so presen-da-ble!”

“Presentable,” Toby corrects. “And, Addie, sweetheart. You’re covered in maple syrup.”

“So?” Addie says. “I’m super sweet!”

“You’re super sticky,” Toby replies, proving it by poking at her shoulder. “You need a bath.”

“I need a birthday cake!” Addie argues. “I do get cake, right?”

“Now that’s not how a birthday girl should ask for something,” Toby chides.

“May I please have some birthday cake?” Addie asks, batting those puppy dog hazel eyes up at Toby. Happy’s secretly gleeful that it’s his turn to have to defeat that annoyingly charming expression.

Toby nods. “You will most certainly have birthday cake, Addie Grace.”

“Yay!” Addie exclaims, leaning in and hugging Toby tightly. He winces at the way their skin sticks when Addie pulls away. “Oh, Daddy,” she says, looking horrified. “Daddy, I need a bath.”

Toby nods. “You definitely need a bath, my love.”

Addie insists on a bubble bath, so Toby sets that up for her while Happy cleans up the mess from breakfast. Every single surface managed to get covered in maple syrup, so Happy’s ten minutes into that job when there’s a high pitched shriek from the bathroom.

Happy throws down the towel in her hand and sprints to the bathroom to see Toby with a face full of foam, and Addie giggling hysterically.

“Mommy, I got him!” Addie exclaims, splashing delightedly.

“That scream was you?” Happy asks in shock.

Toby spits out a mouth full of bubbles onto the bath mat. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he replies, trying to clear the bubble from his face. “We’re not talking about this ever again.”

“Daddy, we’re talking about this now,” Addie says, sounding far too old for her age.

Happy snorts. “She’s not wrong.”

Addie’s eyes practically bug out. “Wait!”

“What?” Happy asks. “Are you okay?”

“Mommy, what’s my other surprise?” She practically scrambles out of the tub, sloshing water over the side. “You said there’s another surprise, right?”

Happy nods. “We are going to have another surprise,” she confirms. “I think you’re going to really like it.”

“Is it a baby sister?!” Addie exclaims, kicking and splashing. “I want a baby sister!”

Happy shakes her head. “What else do you really, really, want, Addie Grace?”

Addie thinks for a moment, and then her eyes widen to a comically huge size. “Mommy,” Addie says very seriously, “Mommy, am I getting my gee-tar?”

Happy and Toby nod. “Do you want your guitar, Addie?” Toby asks, emphasizing the syllables in guitar.

Addie stands up, splashing water all over the bathroom and all over Toby and Happy. “I get my gee-tar today!” she says excitedly. “I will not jump.”

“Please don’t jump,” Toby says. “I don’t want you slipping.”

“No slipping!” Addie agrees. “Just gee-tar.”

Toby, Addie, and Happy get themselves presentable within two hours – a record for them when pancakes are involved – and get out the door before 10:30.

“Gee-tar time?” Addie asks as Toby buckles her into her car seat. “It’s time for my gee-tar?”

“Guitar,” Toby corrects. “And yes, Addie, we’re off to get your big birthday present.”

“I can’t believe,” Happy says, “we’re buying our three year old a guitar.”

“How do an engineer and an M.D. combine to make musical prodigy?” Toby adds. “I don’t even know what good guitars even look like.”

“I mean, music is mostly math,” Happy adds. “So maybe that’s where it comes from.”

“Are you trying to tell me that’s Sly’s baby?” Toby asks. “Because that still doesn’t make sense.”

Happy sighs. “Well, we might as well jump head first into this music thing so that in four years she gets bored of it and becomes a dancer.”

“No, Mommy,” Addie says. “I play moo-zic.”

“Yes, you are, baby girl,” Toby says, reaching back and wiggling Addie’s feet. “And maybe if we get you a guitar you’ll stop drumming on Daddy’s chest.”

Happy watches Addie frown in the rear view mirror. “Daddy, guitars for strumming, not drumming.” She lights up. “I rhymed!”

Happy nods. “You rhymed very well,” she says. “What are you thinking about, baby girl?”

“I’m thinking about my gee-tar!” she replies, clapping. “I am so excited for my gee-tar, Mommy.”

“Your child needs to seriously stop saying that word like a Louisiana crocodile farmer,” Toby says seriously. “Because I’m seriously worried that if she keeps saying it like that she’ll never figure out how to actually say it.”

“Say what, Daddy?” Happy asks. “Gee-tar?”

“Guitar,” Toby says. Happy tries not to laugh. “Gi-tar. Gi-tar.”

“Gee-tar!” Addie squeals. Happy snorts as she takes the exit.

“Do you have to encourage that?” Toby whines. “If she keeps saying things like that, she’ll mispronounce every word she encounters.”

“That’s what I did for the first six years of my life,” Happy says, shrugging. “I learned all of my words from reading. I pronounced ‘idiot’ like ‘eye-diet’ until I was six years old and my first grade teacher explained it to me.”

Toby’s silent, and Happy looks over at him when she gets stopped at a red light. He looks unbearably gleeful. “Eye-diet?” he asks.

“I should have never told you that,” Happy grumbles, gripping the steering wheel.

“Eye-diet?!” he repeats. “Happy, that’s the funniest and cutest thing I’ve ever heard of!”

“Mommy, what’s an eye-diet?” Addie asks.

Toby laughs so hard and so hysterically that Addie asks, “Mommy, is Daddy broken?”

“He’s not broken, sweetie,” Happy explains. “He’s just an eye-diet.”

They pull into the parking lot of the store and Addie starts squealing and kicking her legs.

“My gee-tar!” Addie exclaims.

“Yes, baby girl,” Toby replies, hopping out of the car. “We’re just about to get your guitar.”

They get into the store, and Addie’s eyes widen when she gets a look at the bright blue sparkly electric guitar. “That one, Mommy,” she says reverently. “I want that one.”

Happy sends a panicked look at Toby, because she has no idea how to tell her child that’s not going to happen. She gives Addie everything she can, but Happy’s fairly certain that, regardless of money, Addie would probably get squashed by the guitar before anything else happened.

“How about this one,” Toby says. Happy looks over.

“Oh, no,” she mutters. “Not a ukulele. I’m already dating a nerd in a hipster hat. I’m not letting my baby play a hipster instrument, too.”

But it’s clearly love at first sight, something so deep that it eliminates Addie’s previous interest in the bright blue guitar.

“Mommy,” Addie says, reaching out to the Addie-sized instrument and cradling it in her arms. “Mommy, it’s beautiful.”

Happy tries to hold back her mild disdain at the fact that her kid’s first instrument is definitely going to be a ukulele. “It is, kiddo,” Happy replies. “Why don’t we go ask the nice lady at the counter about it?”

Addie nods. “Okay!”

“You had to give her a hipster instrument?” Happy mutters out of the corner of her mouth.

“Hey, at least it’s not actual drums,” Toby shoots back. “Imagine this child knocking out those beats with actual drumsticks on actual drums.”

Happy winces, remembering the incredibly annoying night that Addie found kitchen spoons and rocked out to every possible song she could come up with in her tiny, tiny, toddler head. “You have a good point.”

“Excuse me, madam?” Addie asks, because they still haven’t managed to break her of the madam habit. “How much is the Addie size guitar?”

The woman at the counter smiles at her. “Are you Addie?” she asks.

Addie nods fervently. “And this gee-tar is my favorite thing in the world,” she explains meaningfully. “And I need it super bad.”

“Can I tell you what the Addie-sized guitar is called?” the woman asks.

Addie nods, frowning. “But what else could it be called?”

The woman, whose nametag says Clarissa, comes around to the front and kneels in front of Addie. “It’s called a ukulele,” she explains.

“A wookawailing?” Addie asks. “Is that ‘cause it sounds like yelling?”

Happy snorts. “Not quite, Addie,” she explains. “Not quite.”

Addie looks up at her. “Then why else would they call it a wookawailing?”

“Ukulele,” Toby says patiently.

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Addie says, with an eye roll that sort of disturbs Happy. “Wookawailing.”

“That’s not going away,” Happy mutters.

But the ukulele isn’t that expensive, at least, less than a drumset, at sixty dollars, and Happy and Toby figure it’s a better move than guiding Addie toward something like piano which costs more and is a lot more difficult to navigate when you’re a particularly tiny three year old.

Addie insists on holding her ukulele on her lap on the drive to the restaurant where they’re meeting Paige and Walter.

“I love you, Wookie,” she says.

“What did – what did you say?” Toby asks. Happy looks over at him – he looks like he’s burning in anticipation.

“This is my wookawailing,” Addie explains, holding up her ukulele. “And I named her Wookie.”

“My child is a Star Wars nerd before she’s even seen one movie,” Toby says, his hands in the air as he relaxes against the chair. “This is the greatest day of my life.”

Addie sighs. “Me, too,” she says happily. “I love my Wookie.”

“Best day of my life,” Toby sighs. “I’m buying us all lobster in celebration.”

"Toby."

Toby looks over at her. "What?"

"Toby, we're getting brunch."

He rolls his eyes. "It's a figure of speech."

"It's really not."

“I can play my wookawailing at the restaurant?” Addie asks. “Because Auntie Paige will love to meet my Wookie.”

Happy sighs. “Addie, sweetheart, no instruments in the restaurant.”

“Is that a rule?” she asks, and she sounds so resigned that Happy has to look back at her, and she’s pouting like somebody just ruined her day or told her that Santa doesn’t exist.

“Yeah, baby,” Toby replies. “No wookawailings in the restaurant.”

“Don’t you start calling it that,” Happy asks, fully annoyed that he started calling it a wookawailing before she got a chance to do it.

“Why not?”

“Because I was going to do that,” Happy laughs. “That was going to be my fun parent thing.”

“Too bad,” Toby says as Happy pulls into the restaurant parking lot, “my turn to be the cool dad.”

“Addie, baby,” Happy asks, parking the car, “is Daddy a cool dad?”

“Not as cool as my wookawailing,” Addie says. “But yeah, he’s cool.”

“You’re not even a cool enough dad to beat the instrument,” Happy says pointedly. “How’s that feel?”

“Pretty rough,” Toby admits, pouting. “Pretty rough.”

“And I’m not a baby,” Addie says. “I can count to a nun dead and I know the alphabet and I can read.”

Happy looks back at her. “I know that, Addie. You are a very grown up three year old.”

“Not three until ten twenty-four,” Addie clarifies. “I will be a big girl then.”

“It’s not going to be that much of a change,” Toby explains to her. “You’re still going to feel the same.”

“I’m going to be three though!” Addie explains. “Wait, let me count. I show you.” She counts up to twenty nine.

“And what comes next, Addie?” Toby asks. Happy can practically feel the anticipation roll off of him. He’s desperate for her to understand the concept of thirty consistently, to a point of near ridiculousness.

“Twenty-ten!” Addie announces with pride.

Toby sighs, slumping against the seat.

“Just kidding, Daddy,” Addie replies. “It’s turdy.”

Happy jolts so hard she slams the breaks as she turns into the exit, while Toby laughs until he chokes on air.

“Thirty, Addie,” Happy manages. “Addie, say the word thirty.”

“Thur-dee,” Addie repeats. She makes a strange spitting noise.

“Thhh,” Toby says to her. “Make the sound, Add. Don’t spit.”

“Did you just call her Add?” Happy asks. She pulls into the restaurant parking lot, parking right next to Paige’s sedan.

Toby shrugs. “I figured I’d try another nickname.”

Happy considers it. “You know,” she decides, “I don’t hate it.”


	69. Addie, 3 years 3 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your kid makes friends, sometimes you become friends with the parents. And sometimes you need to be there for them, even though you've never had that role in your life.

“I’m telling you,” Toby says to the other parents, “the oil got all over the tee shirt and the tutu. That’s the day we realized that letting our not-yet-three year old work on the cars may not have been the best idea.”

The other parents laugh knowingly, and they all look over at their kids on the playground. Happy feels a little out of place, a little strange around all these grown adults with mortgages and real jobs and wedding rings. But she gets a look at Addie’s face as Julia Davis and Martin Pratt show her how to pump her legs on a swing, and she decides it’s more than worth it to socialize with the parents if she gets to see Addie so happy.

“Toby says Addie’s already reading,” says Julia’s mother, Melissa. She rests her hand on her very pregnant belly. “It’s making Julia jealous.”

“Well Addie would do anything to be able to swing like Julia, so I think, on preschool terms, they’re even,” Happy says, nodding over to the swing set. Addie is flailing her legs a little wildly while Julia and Martin manage to swing evenly.

“Daddy, I need help,” Addie calls, beginning to twist the chains of the swing.

“And I’ve been summoned,” Toby says. Ted follows, with Shannon close behind to grab their kids and push them on the swings.

“Do you mind if I kick my sneakers off?” Melissa asks, frowning. She slumps in the chair. “I can’t handle these – my feet are swollen to the size of footballs.”

“I remember that,” Happy replies, wincing in muscle memory. “And I can’t imagine how you must feel at eight months with twins.”

Melissa laughs and nods. “I don’t have words for how much this sucks,” she mutters.

“Well, if you ever need us,” Happy hears herself saying. It sounds bizarre – wrong, even – that she’s the one offering stability and support. She’s been the one seeking it for years, but now she has the opportunity to give it to others.

The surprise must have registered on her face, because Melissa’s expression looks odd. “You good, Happy?”

“Yeah, I just…” She trails off, shaking her head. “Sometimes I forget that I’m not just some kid from the bad side of LA trying to get by now. This all seems so,” she trails off, “domestic. And suburban.”

“I’m from Manchester, so I kind of get it,” Melissa replies. “Not quite, but a little bit.”

“Manchester – England?” Happy asks.

Melissa shakes her head. “New Hampshire.”

“Cow Town?” Happy laughs. “There’s no cities there.”

“Hey, New Hampshire had one hell of a heroin problem a couple of years ago,” Melissa says, shaking her finger. “For a long time. Don’t discount hickville.”

“Well, the bad parts of LA are a little rougher than the rough parts of a city with fewer than two hundred thousand people,” Happy says pointedly.

“How do you know the population density of a city in New Hampshire?” Melissa asks with surprise, and that’s when Happy remembers that spouting off statistics you learned eight years ago is kind of not cool in public.

“Oh, it’s just,” she starts stammering a little, like she did when she was nervous as a kid, “I have this thing with numbers. I like numbers.” She sounds like she was when she was eight and introducing herself to another new classroom.

After a pause, Melissa says, “When I was twelve I was obsessed with bats.”

Happy blinks. “Excuse me?”

“Bats,” Melissa says. “Still am. Julia’s nursery was decorated with a _Stellaluna_ theme. I’m doing a butterfly theme for these ones,” she pats her belly, “and maybe bees too. A flight theme.”

Happy still doesn’t understand. “Alright.”

“Look, I get that you have the whole smart thing,” Melissa says, and Happy almost laughs at the understatement, “and you think it’s weird that you’re weird. But everybody’s weird. It’s just a part of being a person. That’s why Addie’s scores are in the stratosphere.”

“Probably more in the exosphere,” Happy quips, and, to her relief, Melissa laughs, a real belly laugh.

“Oh, god, I love having you around,” she says, shaking her head. “Ted needs somebody to make him feel dumb every once in a while. And you don’t hold back.”

“Is that a good thing?” Happy asks.

Melissa nods. “We need more people like you in the world, Happy. No more bullshit.”

Happy’s eyes widen, “Uh, Melissa?”

“Mommy, what’s bullshit?” Julia asks with the innocence of a curious toddler.

“Yeah, Mommy,” Ted says, with the most absurd grin on his face, “what is that?”

“Never get married,” Melissa jokes, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, we missed that step,” Toby says. “Apparently I screwed it up.”

Happy nods. “Yeah. Your daughter puked on me.”

Toby turns to Ted. “Never have children.”

Ted gestures to Julia, who looks confused as she holds hands with both Addie and Martin, and then to Melissa’s belly, “Too late.”

~

It takes her a few moments to register the ringing phone on her bedside, and manages a half glance at the name on the screen before answering.

“Yup?”

“Happy?” says Melissa Davis.

Happy blinks, trying to wake herself up. “Hi, Melissa?” she shakes her head. “What’s up?” She’s not used to answering phone calls from anyone but the team or her dad at an hour like this. This feels strange. Wrong, almost.

“There’s – there’s a complication.” It’s the first time Happy realizes the tremor in Melissa’s voice. “With the babies?”

“Toby’s a doctor,” Happy replies, not sure where Melissa is going with this. “He can answer any questions –” She checks her watch. “At five in the morning.” The sleep starts to fade away, and that’s when Happy starts to hear the fear in Melissa’s voice.

“Is everything okay?” Toby asks, sounding groggy.

Happy nods at him. “Do you want to talk to him?” she asks Melissa.

“No, we’re going to the hospital now,” Melissa explains. “I was just wondering – Julia loves you and Addie so much, and my family is all so far away.” She pauses. “I hate to ask, but could you take Julia until my mom can get down here tomorrow morning?”

Toby grabs the phone from Happy. “Hi, Melissa?” he asks. “This is Toby. Yeah, she’s just not a morning person. I’ll meet you guys outside our apartment in, say, twenty minutes?” He’s quiet. “It’s no problem at all. We love Julia, and Addie will be so excited to have a sleep over. We can make a blanket fort in the living room.” He pauses again. “Wonderful. We’ll hold onto her car seat in case we end up going on any fun adventures. If we go anywhere, we’ll call you. See you soon, Mel.” He’s quiet for a moment. “Yes, I do. You’re doing everything right, and you’re at thirty two weeks. If it’s their time to be born, I think you’re all going to be okay. You’re going to be great.” He hangs up the phone.

“Mel?” Happy asks. “You call her Mel?”

Toby nods. “Yeah. And Ted and I have been chatting,” he explains, looking a little proud. “I have parent friends.”

“Friend,” Happy clarifies.

“Friends!” Toby corrects. “Ted, Shannon, Katherine, and I went out for drinks that one time when you, Melissa, Paige, Steve, and Estelle took the kids on that stroller run.”

“You went for drinks at four in the afternoon?!”  Happy asks. “Jeez, I’m never letting you drive again if that’s the kind of influence your parent friends have on you.” She checks her watch. “I’ll go let Addie know we have a visitor today.”

Their bedroom door creaks open.

“Mommy, I heard talking,” she says, lighting up. “We get a surprise?”

“Actually, we do!” Toby says excitedly, scooping her up in his arms. “Guess who is coming over to play today all the way until tomorrow!”

“Ralphie?!” Addie asks excitedly.

“Not quite, but we’ll see him at the garage today,” Toby explains. “Julia’s coming over.”

Addie squeals and begins flapping her arms in excitement, smacking Toby in the face. “Ouch!” Toby exclaims. “Safe hands, Addie. Try clapping.”

“I clap!” Addie agrees, clapping excitedly.

“Can I sleep?” Happy asks, yawning. “Like you said. I’m not a morning person.”

“Nope,” Toby says, looking far too awake for someone who, like Happy, was up at eleven at night getting it on in the living room. “We’ve got two to take care of this morning, Mommy!”

Happy grumbles a little bit until she wakes up and has her coffee, but the worry on Julia’s face immediately makes her snap out of her grump.

“Hey, kid,” Happy says, nodding. “Come to be our babysitter?”

Julia lights up, smiling. “I’m too little!” she giggles. “Addie, your mommy is silly.”

Addie sighs, shaking her head as she lugs in one of Julia’s bags for her. “She is the silliest,” she insists.

“The funny thing is we say Addie is the silliest,” Toby says. “Is anybody else sleepy?”

“No,” Addie says, promptly interrupting whatever she was going to say next with a yawn.

Julia nods, yawning herself as she buries her face into the fuzzy ears of her pink bunny. “Yawns are a-tay-jis,” Julia says, sounding wise.

“What’s a tay-jis?” Addie asks, frowning.

“Contagious,” Toby corrects, and Happy’s glad he did because she had no idea what Julia was trying to say.

Addie drops the bag, directly on Toby’s foot, and takes Julia’s hand. “Sleepover time, Jules!” She walks them both back into Addie’s room, and Happy looks over at Toby.

“How come she doesn’t go to bed that easily for us?” Happy asks incredulously.

“Shh,” Toby says, putting a finger to Happy’s lips. “Let’s tuck them in and let them sleep as long as they need to.”

“You make a compelling argument.”

Addie is tucking both herself and Julia into the toddler bed, which fits two three year old girls perfectly. Addie has even given Betty Teddy to Julia as a pillow, but Happy doesn’t miss the fact that Addie isn’t giving her blankie up for anybody.

“Julia, sweetie,” Toby says gently, “we put up this little gate so Addie doesn’t fall out of bed at night. Is it okay if we put it up?”

Julia nods, already closing her eyes. “I have one, too,” she mumbles, curling up. “I’m sleepy, Mr. Curtis.”

“You guys both sleep well,” Toby says, kissing both girls on the top of the head. “Betty Teddy will keep an eye on the two of you.”

Happy follows Toby as he walks out of Addie’s room and waits until they get to Addie’s room to say, “Damn, you’re a good dad.”

He shrugs as he steps into bed, throwing the blanket over himself and patting next to him until Happy settles down next to him.

And the way he plainly says, “You and Addie made me that way,” makes Happy feel, again, astonished that this is her life.

~

“I know they love that movie,” Walter says, looking like he’s being slapped on a sunburn, “but can you make the two of them stop singing Circle of Life at the top of their lungs?”

“You know the name of the song?”

The look on Walter’s face is priceless. “You learn the names of songs when you hear them forty times in an hour.”

Happy just shrugs. “You should have heard the Frozen serenade on the drive here. You at least got to miss that.”

“It’s just Hamlet,” Walter says, shaking his head. “It’s Hamlet for kids.”

“And yet, this happened,” Happy replies, pointing to the way Addie and Julia are having their dolls and Eddie Teddy act out the entire song.

They’d had to bring both girls to the garage for the day, as the doctors are planning a caesarean section at one in the afternoon, and Ted and Melissa wanted things to seem as normal as possible for Julia.

Happy gets a phone call at noon.

“Hey, Melissa,” Happy says. “How’s it going?”

“I’m about to go in,” Melissa says. Her voice is shaky.

“Do you want to talk to her?”

“I’m too worried,” Melissa says, shaking her head. “Julia would know something was wrong from the minute she picked up the phone.”

Happy laughs. “Yeah, she’s good at that kind of thing.”

“Just keep her happy,” Melissa says, sounding terrified and pained. “Okay?”

“She’s having a blast,” Happy assures her. “Currently talking to Addie’s Uncle Sylvester about numbers. I think Addie’s showing her how to count to 100 while Sylvester writes the numbers on our white board.”

Melissa sighs, almost like she’d be laughing if she had the energy. “I’m so glad she’s with you guys,” she says. “We’ll see you all soon.”

Sly plays with the girls until Ralph gets home from school, which is when Julia, moony eyed and silly, asks Ralph if he’ll hold her hand. When he does, she couldn’t look happier. Except she does, when he makes them macaroni and cheese for dinner.

“This,” Julia proclaims, “is the best mac of roni and cheese in the world!” She throws her hands in the air. “You’re the best, Ralph.”

Ralph beams, looking fairly pleased with himself. “Really?”

Addie nods. “You’re the best.”

“Your kid is giving my kid a big head,” Paige mutters. “What’s he going to do when you guys go home? Go back to me and Walter teasing him for leaving his clothes all over the house?”

Happy laughs. “Actually, I think it’s us who are going to have a rough time going home. We’ve got to keep Julia distracted until her mom and dad can call. Ted’s keeping Toby updated,” she nods over to where Toby keeps compulsively checking his cell phone, “but he won’t tell me anything because, apparently, I have no poker face.”

Paige looks at her sympathetically. “You really don’t.”

The girls finish dinner and the team finishes up their work, and Happy struggles to get the girls picked up and ready to go back to their apartment. Toby has to run inside twice to pick up Addie’s shoe and then Eddie Teddy, because Addie wants a Teddy for each girl.

“Why can’t we just pick up the one at Grampy’s on the way home?” Happy asks. “That way we can see him.”

Addie shakes her head. “Stuart has to take care of Grampy.”

“How did you come up with Betty Teddy, Eddie Teddy, and Stuart again?”

Addie shrugs, putting Eddie Teddy gently in the trunk of the car. “They told me their names.”

While Addie is climbing into her car seat, Happy sees Paige walk out of the garage.

“I’m coming with you,” Paige says.

“Why?” Happy asks, buckling Addie into her seat while Toby tries to wrangle Julia, who is trying to explain to him how to buckle her car seat by pointing to straps that need to be around her shoulders.

“Girls night,” Paige says.

“What now?” Happy asks. She can practically feel her shock on her face.

“Girls’ night,” Paige explains. “We’re going to do manicures, facials, Disney movies. It’s going to be fun.”

“It sounds ridiculous,” Happy explains, checking up that Julia’s seat is fastened. “Why are we doing this?”

“Because it’s fun,” Paige insists. “And it’s an inexpensive way to make Addie’s first sleepover awesome.”

“She’s slept over your house,” Happy points out.

Paige rolls her eyes. “Sleep overs with Auntie Paige aren’t as exciting as sleep overs with a friend,” she assures Happy. “Trust me.”

So they buy nail polish and the newly re-released Beauty and the Beast, and pick up some little push pop ice creams for the girls, all while Julia and Addie hold hands and dance to the supermarket music. Toby takes Paige’s car straight to the apartment, though, and has been informed that he can’t play with them unless he plans on a manicure and facial.

He does, though.

“I think this eggplant looks rather magnificent with my skin tone, don’t you, Julia?” he asks.

Julia giggles. “I don’t know what that means.”

“He says he looks pretty,” Addie explains. “He’s a very pretty daddy.”

Happy bursts into laughter. “That’s got to be the best compliment you’ve ever gotten.”

“I’m the prettiest dad in the world, if my girl says so,” Toby says. “And this is not emasculating at all.”

“That better not be sarcastic,” Happy warns.

“It’s not! Our baby will grow up a brilliant feminist, just like her mommy.” He grins up at Happy. “And her daddy.”

“Hold still or else your kid’s going to mess up your nail polish,” Paige says. She puts the final flourish on Julia’s nails, the same color as her eyes.

“Blue!” Julia says. “Look, Addie, my favorite!”

“My favorite is green. And pink.” She pauses, smearing nail polish all over Toby’s thumb. “I like yellow. And blue.”

“So, the rainbow?” Paige asks.

Addie nods. “All the colors!”

They dry their nails and Paige has to use a heavy dose of polish remover on Toby’s skin to keep him from being stained purple. When that’s all done, Addie and Julia insist that everybody have an ice cream pop.

“Sharing is important, Mommy,” Addie insists.

When pops are finished and hands are washed, the whole group of them settles into the living room with pillows and blankets and both teddy bears for the movie. Addie helps Paige make popcorn, which is devoured by Julia and Toby before they even manage to skip past the commercials.

“I’ll make some more,” Paige says, rolling her eyes.

Happy falls asleep on the couch before they even finish Gaston’s first song.

~

She’s woken up by a tiny sob, something quiet and heartbreaking. She sits up straight, expecting to feel Addie dive into her lap on the couch within a second. But instead she sees Julia’s curly red hair standing out like a halo around her head, big blue eyes full of tears.

“Hi, Julia,” she says, rubbing her eyes. “Everything okay?”

“Mrs. Quinn, is my mommy gonna be okay?” she asks, walking hesitantly up to Happy. Instantly, Happy reaches down to settle Julia on the couch next to her, wrapping an arm protectively around her shoulders.

“I think so, kiddo,” Happy replies. She’s startled when Julia, without hesitation, turns and curls up into Happy’s lap.

“And my baby sisters?” Julia asks. “I really love my baby sisters.” She sniffles. “I wanna have my sisters and my mommy and my daddy all safe.”

Happy rocks Julia in the way that soothes Addie best on her hardest nights. “We need to believe that they’re going to be okay, Jules,” Happy says quietly. She wraps Julia’s pink blanket around the little girl’s shoulders and makes sure her little bunny is wrapped in her arms. “It’s going to be okay.”

Next thing Happy knows, Addie is sitting up from where she must have fallen asleep in Paige’s lap during the movie.

“All okay, Mommy?” she asks.

Happy nods. “All okay, baby girl.”

“Julia crying?” she asks. She slides out of Paige’s lap onto the floor and rushes over to where Happy and Julia are sitting, dragging her blanket behind her while her little wrench is in her curled arm. “No crying, Julia. We snuggle.”

It’s in this moment that Happy discovers her lap is two preschooler sized. Addie slides herself into Happy’s lap, sitting right on her left leg, and hugs Julia with a sweetness only a three year old could muster.

“I love you, Julia,” Addie announces. “You are my bestiest friend, like Aunnie Paige is my mommy’s bestiest friend.”

“What about Martin?” Julia asks.

“You are both my bestiest friends,” Addie amends. “We can have more than one, right Mama?”

“You can have as many best friends as you want,” Happy confirms.

“Good,” Addie replies. “Now, back to sleep, Ju-Ju.”

Julia and Addie, like they rehearsed it, fall against Happy’s chest and fall immediately asleep, wrapped around each other.

“Oh,” Happy mumbles, “you two get to sleep.”

But, eventually, Happy dozes off again while sitting up holding two toddlers. It doesn’t last long, as Addie wakes up yelling, “Gotta go potty!” only two hours later at six in the morning, and only barely disentangles herself from Happy, Julia, and the plethora of blankets to rush off to the bathroom.

Paige sits up, her hair an impressive mess. “We all okay?” she asks, looking delirious. She smacks Toby on the back. “Wake up, you big lump. If we’re awake, so are you.”

Julia giggles underneath her blanket. “Mrs. O’Brien is funny.”

“I thought I was funny!” Toby says. And, when he rolls over to look at them, his hair a curly disaster and a pillow mark on his face, they all have to laugh.

“Oh, you’re funny, Doc,” Happy agrees, “but not for the reason you want to be.”

“Well, I’ll settle for being the best cook in the house,” Toby announces. “I’m making pancakes and it’s not even Saturday. Who’s up for Mickey Mouse?”

Toby and the girls make the batter, getting all over the kitchen, while Happy makes the coffee and chugs two cups before she can genuinely say she’s awake.

They’re halfway through the first set of pancakes when Happy’s phone rings.

Julia freezes in her seat. Happy doesn’t know how Julia knows that her phone is the one to really listen for, but she does. Her eyes grow wide and she is still as a stone as Happy walks to take her phone off the charger.

Happy picks up. “Hi, Ted.”

“Can you put me on speakerphone?” Ted asks. He sounds okay – if there was really something wrong, Happy thinks even she would be able to hear it.

“Of course.” She hits the button and holds the phone to where Addie, Toby, and Julia are sitting at the table.

“Julia, pumpkin,” Ted says, “you have two baby sisters and they are wonderful and healthy.”

Julia’s eyes grow wide with excitement. “And Mommy?”

“Mommy is happy as can be,” he says. “She’s just taking a little nap right now.”

“Sisters!” she says, bouncing up and down in the chair. “What are my sister’s names?”

“Their names are Lydia Renee and Laura Joan,” Ted replies. “And they’re happy and loud and they can’t wait to meet you, pumpkin. We love you so much!”

“Love you too, Daddy!” Julia says. “Grandma is coming soon?”

“She’ll be there in half an hour, honey,” Ted says. “And you’ll be here to see your baby sisters soon.”

Julia claps her syrup-sticky hands. “Yay!”

“See you soon, Jules. I love you.”

Happy and Toby hurriedly help Addie and Julia wash their hands and change, just in time for Melissa’s mom to ring the doorbell.

“Sorry I’m late!” she says. “I’d hoped to be here around eight thirty, but –”

“No problem,” Toby says. “We just managed to get them all washed up.”

“I got two sisters!” Julia says, jumping into her grandmother’s arms.

“Yes, you do, sweetie pea,” Melissa’s mother says.

“I’ll carry the bag out,” Toby says, following.

“Wait!” Julia says. She leaps out of her grandmother’s arms and dives at Addie, giving her a big hug. “I love you, Addie!”

“I love you too, Ju-Ju!”

Julia gives Happy and Toby each a hug, and then darts off, chatting on excitedly about her new sisters.

“Alrighty then,” Paige says, wiping up the counter. “I’ll be heading home now, where I can go back to sleep for another three hours. Without a toddler.”

Toby laughs. “Thanks for coming, Paige.”

“Any time,” she says. “Seriously. Hanging out with Addie is always the best part of my day.” She swings Addie into her arms and peppers kisses all over her face. “See you soon, Addie girl!”

“Yeah, yeah, Aunnie Pay,” Addie replies.

Addie eats about twelve more pancakes and needs an actual bath at that point, which exhausts her to the point of taking an early nap.

Happy notices the quiet – almost enough for her to nap, too. Almost.

“So that was a long 30 or so hours,” Toby says, looping his arms around Happy’s waist. “Julia’s a real cutie.”

Happy smiles at him. “She really is. And she seemed so excited to be a big sister.” Happy rests her hands on Toby’s shoulders. “I thought the names were interesting, though.”

“Whoever thought of naming their daughter Laura three years ago?” Toby jokes. “We got it right, though. Addie’s definitely an Addie.”

“We did get it right.” They’re quiet for a minute. “I think she’s asleep.”

“I think we should sleep,” Toby adds. “I’m getting too old to sleep on the floor.”

“You should have called dibs on the couch before I did,” Happy says, winking at him.

“Maybe I’ll just call dibs on you,” he replies.

She stares at him. “What the hell does that even mean?”

“No idea, I’m sleep deprived,” he says. Toby pulls her flush against him, leaning down for a lazy but still searing kiss, one that sticks Happy’s toes to the floor.

“I mean, we don’t have to sleep right now,” Happy murmurs against his lips, a pleasant shiver making its way down her spine as Toby moves his mouth down to kiss at her neck.

“Oh?” Toby asks. “What else do you have in mind?”

Happy pulls just far enough away to grab a handful of Toby’s shirt and drag him to the bedroom. “I’ll give you a hint.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets hope that by the timeline of this chapter (early 2021) the heroin crisis in NH will be lowered in severity, if not fixed. Had to put a little bit of hopeful attitude in here :) Also, Manchester is the tiniest city in history. I know that. My state is teensy.


	70. Addie, 3 years 4 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally make it to Disney World. And it's more than just a vacation.

They have a countdown to Disney once it gets to be a month out, and Addie’s using her addition and subtraction skills to figure out how many days were left. She made Toby buy her a specific calendar, just for the countdown.

And then on the night before, Addie asks about how many minutes are left.

“One sleep, honey, I promise.”

“But minutes,” she asks, clad in her Beauty and the Beast pajamas. “How many minutes?”

“Until we leave or until we get there?” Toby asks.

“Leave.”

“Well, it’s seven thirty now, and we leave tomorrow with the team at eight thirty in the morning, so we have about seven hundred eighty minutes until we leave,” Happy says.

Addie falls dramatically to the floor, throwing her blanket over her head. “Mommy, that’s so many nun deads.”

“Hundreds,” Toby says. “So many hundreds.”

“Nun deads.”

“Hun-dred,” Toby says slowly.

“Hun-dead,” Addie repeats, just as slowly.

“Close enough,” Toby says. “Anyway, seven hundred eighty minutes. And you’ll be sleeping for most of that.”

“No sleep,” Addie says. “I want to stay up.”

Happy frowns. “If you stay up, then we won’t be able to go straight to the rides or to meet any princesses.”

Addie’s eyes widen as she sits up, pouting. “No princesses?”

“Not unless you sleep.”

She scrambles up to her feet, tripping over the too-long legs of her pajamas. “I sleep! Let’s go, blankie!”

She asks for Toby to tuck her in and read her stories, so Happy starts packing. Toby insisted on packing his stuff and Addie’s two weeks before, which Happy doesn’t understand. She just did laundry earlier that day to make sure she could have what she wanted.

“Hey, you called Addie’s preschool to let them know she won’t be there Tuesday and Wednesday, right?” Toby asks, walking back into their bedroom. “You still haven’t packed?!”

“I’m getting there,” Happy replies. “Calm down.”

“Also, bring some flip-flops. We’re going to the beach, not to bike week.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “I’ll pick up what I need if I need it when we get there.”

“God, you’re weird.” He kisses her forehead. “I love you.”

Happy rolls her eyes. “You better.”

Happy’s the one who can’t sleep that night, even though she’d thought it would be Addie, or even Toby. She keeps trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she’s going on a standard American family vacation with her family, with team Scorpion.

It’s her first real trip ever, one without the looming threat of death or destruction. And, after all the Disney movies she’s seen with Addie over the past few months, she’d be lying if she claimed not to be excited.

She gets in a couple of hours before Addie barrels in at five in the morning, and they all decide that they may as well wake up if Addie’s going to be up. It’s showers and dressing in comfy plane clothes that ends with Addie insisting on a tutu, and finally they’re ready to go to the airport.

“When do we leave?” Addie asks, tugging on Happy’s sleeve. “When do we leave, Mommy?”

“Soon,” Happy says. “We just need to wait for Pops to get here. He’s driving.”

Addie frowns. “You not driving, Mommy?”

“Mommy’s scared her pretty car would get hurt,” Toby explains.

Happy half wants to argue, but, hey. He’s right.

Addie entertains herself by looking at the maps of all the parks on her tablet while Toby and Happy try to decide who gets to nap until Cabe gets there. Toby wins. Happy’s annoyed.

It doesn’t matter, though, because Happy falls asleep in the car while Addie and Toby chatter next to her. Addie has more energy than she should this early in the morning. When they get to security, Addie is looking around like she’s never been in an airport before. Happy walks her to the scanner, where Addie starts asking questions about how it works and what it does.

Happy’s about to apologize until the TSA agent gives a surprisingly age appropriate response, coupled with smiles and exaggerated movements.

“Thanks, sir,” Addie says, beaming up at him with sleepy eyes.

“No problem,” he says. “It’s not every day we get somebody so curious walking through here.”

Despite her interest, Addie is asleep by the time they get to the gate, and Happy follows suit until Toby wakes her up.

“Time to get on the plane,” Toby says, poking her shoulder. “You haven’t napped this much since Addie was six months old.”

“You’re the worst for waking me up,” Happy says, “but you’re waking me up to go to Disney, so I guess it balances out.”

Toby laughs and kisses her forehead. “Up you get.”

They fly, they land, they take a bus, and they’re at the hotel before Addie wakes up for more than a few minutes at a time. She’s snuggled on Toby’s lap or shoulder for the whole time, constantly asking if they’re at Disney World yet. And then, as she hears The Lion King soundtrack when they walk into the hotel lobby, she goes ramrod straight, her eyes open like she’d been awake the whole time.

“Are we in Disney World?” she asks reverently.

Happy nods, feeling strangely excited herself. “Yeah, Addie Grace. We are.”

~

After an hour of making sure the luggage is going to get from the bus to the hotel rooms, they finally decide on the park to start off their trip.

Addie looks like the happiest toddler on the planet on Toby’s shoulders, shouting out random facts she’s learned about EPCOT in the past three months.

“You’d think a three year old would be more excited about Magic Kingdom,” Paige says.

Happy shrugs. “She’s excited about the rollercoaster design ride.”

“Sum of All Thrills?” Paige asks. “Yeah, Ralph is trying to convince me to ride with him.” She wrinkles her nose. “I’m not sure that’s happening.”

Happy looks longingly up at the monorail. “I just can’t wait to ride the monorail,” she says, sounding a little besotted to her own ears. “It’s such cool construction.”

Paige laughs, something a little knowing. “Yeah, yeah,” she says. “We know.”

Happy’s attention is brought to Toby and Addie when Addie screams, “Future world!” and nearly falls off of Toby’s shoulders. Happy runs up behind them and Addie drops right into her arms.

“You need to be more careful,” Happy says sternly. “No going splat in Disney World.”

Addie, to Happy’s dismay, just giggles. “No splat. Just fun,” she decides. Happy decides to put her down on the ground to walk, because at least if she falls then she’s not falling as far.

When they get the area labeled Innoventions, Addie’s nearly dragging Happy by the arm, her little feet hardly able to keep up with her excitement.

“Mommy, it’s time,” Addie says authoritatively. “We need to build a coaster.”

Happy throws a desperate look back at Toby, who just shrugs, looking at a complete loss for words.

They get in line and Ralph and Addie shoot back and forth information about how to make the perfect rollercoaster. As much as Ralph tries to explain to her the importance of force and speed, Addie keeps insisting that, “No, Ralphie, it’s fun. Fun is most important.”

Ralph looks at Happy, a little exhausted. “Does she do this all the time?” he asks.

Happy and Toby nod in tandem as Addie tugs on Toby’s hand. “Will you go with me, Daddy?” Addie asks.

“Yes, princess,” Toby says, smiling at her.

Addie nods and swings his hand.

He turns to Happy with a look of mild panic as he says, “But you won’t make it too scary, right?”

Addie frowns. “If it’s not scary it’s no fun.”

Toby nods and gulps. “Okay then.”

They go to design the rollercoaster and the man in charge immediately crushes Addie’s tiny little soul.

“She’s way too small,” the kid, who can be no more than eighteen, says. “No way can she go on. She’d fall out.”

“Can she at least watch the presentation and design the coaster?” Happy asks. Addie looks up at the guy and, immediately, Happy knows he’s toast. With Toby’s eyes on her tiny little face, there’s not a soul on earth that can resist Addie Quinn’s puppy dog eyes.

“Pwease?” Addie asks. She’s completely turning on the charm, going into the most sugar-sweet baby voice in the world. Addie can say please correctly, any day. She’s just choosing not to.

The guy sighs. “Will somebody be able to watch her during the ride?”

Paige’s hand shoots up. “I’ll take her,” Paige says. “That way your mommy and daddy can both ride, and I don’t have to.”

Addie’s grin is huge. “Good idea, Auntie Paige!” Addie exclaims.

“Way to throw me under the bus,” Happy says to Paige.

As Addie puts together the most ridiculous rollercoaster with more focus than Happy’s ever seen in her eyes, Toby begins to turn disturbing shades of green.

“Addie, baby, can we tone it down a little?” he asks.

“No,” she says authoritatively. “We need a big coaster with big fun.”

By the time they’re ready to go on the ride, Paige has Addie on her hip. She’s waving frantically.

“Hi, Mommy! Hi, Daddy!” she shouts.

Happy waves down at her. On their other side, they can just barely make out Ralph’s excitement as he waits in line to go in his own pod.

“You ready?” Toby asks.

Happy sighs. “The things we do for our kid.”

They climb in the weird little pod thing, and Happy immediately starts critiquing some of the design choices.

“Happy,” Toby interrupts.

“Yeah?”

“Happy, it’s Disney World.”

“Right,” Happy says, nodding. “Holiday spirit. Cheer. Mouse in the house.”

When the pod starts moving, Happy can tell that Toby immediately regrets every decision that led them to this point.

“This is awful,” Toby manages to warble out during the g forces.

“I know,” Happy lies. In honestly, this isn’t too bad. Ever since she’d been sucked into a dam, nothing really is that turbulent anymore. This, in comparison, is actually kind of fun.

But she fights back a smile and pretends not to enjoy it while Toby grips her hand like a vice until the ride is over.

Toby stumbles out of the pod, gripping the hand rail like it’s there to save his life. “Happy,” he says, looking green, “Happy, your daughter designed a murder coaster.”

Happy tries desperately not to laugh. “You’re okay, Doc,” she says, clapping him on the back.

“Oh, don’t do that,” Toby groans. “Don’t – I just need to get down to sturdy land.”

“We’re standing on the floor already,” Happy says.

“Not enough.”

Toby stumbles down the stairs and Happy follows as she tries desperately not to make fun of Toby when he’s in such a state.

She sees Paige before she sees Addie, but she hears Addie before they’ve even reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Mommy!” Addie shouts.

“Almost there, kiddo,” Happy calls back. She watches Toby pause on the stairs. “A little faster, Doc.”

“I think I’m going to hurl,” he says, finally making it to the ground.

“You’re fine,” Happy insists. “Stop being so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic,” Toby replies. “Your kid designed a murder coaster!”

Happy was about to reply, but then Addie pushes to the gate. “Hi, Mommy!” she says. “Did you like my rollah-coastah?”

“Rollercoaster,” Happy corrects. “You’re not from Boston. And yes, baby, it was perfect.”

Addie claps and reaches up to Happy, who pushes through the gate and picks her up. Addie buries her face in Happy’s shoulder, squirming happily.

“What about you, Daddy?” Happy asks, looking over at Toby. He looks green at this point, which is starting to worry Happy a little bit.

“’M good,” Toby mumbles. “Just need some fresh air.”

Addie leans toward him and, stoically, Toby takes her, settling her on his hip. Addie gives him a big kiss on the cheek.

“I love you, Daddy,” she says, smiling. “What was your favorite part? The loopies? The spinnies?”

Toby turns a little green again. “I, uh,” Toby says. “I need a minute.”

He practically tosses Addie into Happy’s arms and then darts for the nearest bathroom.

Ralph comes off of his ride next, a huge grin on his face. “I think I created the optimal thrill ride,” he says.

“Daddy said mine was best,” Addie says.

“No he didn’t,” Happy says. “Addie.”

Addie frowns. “I did a lie again,” she says. “But Mommy liked the ride.”

“I did like it,” Happy says.

Addie starts looking around. “Where’s Daddy?”

“Stomach ache,” Walter says. “I’m sure he’ll be just fine.”

Addie relaxes. “Oh, good. Thank you, Uncle Wally. What’s next?” She reaches out for him.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he reaches out and takes Addie, setting her on his shoulders. It’s something he’s never done before, and Happy’s a little perplexed.

It doesn’t last long. As they head into the direction of the bathroom Toby ran to, Addie gasps.

“Is that a park?” she asks.

“Honey, this whole thing is a park,” Paige tries to explain, but Addie isn’t listening.

Addie shrieks, “Water!” and wiggles so much on Walter’s shoulders that he nearly drops her. Instead, he catches her by the arm and leg, and gently lowers her to the ground.

“Wait, don’t put her –”

“Park!”

Addie bolts to the play area with water coming up from the ground and Happy takes off after her. As she should have expected, she immediately gets nailed in the face with a stream of water coming up from the ground. She doesn’t even want to think of what her makeup is doing.

Addie’s expression is complete shock until Happy starts laughing. Then Addie devolves into the most joyful set of giggles Happy’s ever seen. Addie finds another stream of water and sticks her face right into it. It startles her enough that she stumbles backward and Happy catches her before she falls onto the wet ground.

“Careful, kiddo,” says Toby. He’s standing there with a video camera. “Smile, my favorite girls!”

“Look who’s back!” Paige says. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he says. “Drank a bunch of water really slowly. I’m good now. Smile!”

Happy puts on a fake smile, because goddamn that video camera, but Addie just grins and claps.

“Daddy, water!” she exclaims.

Ralph comes up to the water and starts explaining a process to avoid the water, and he and Addie make a game out of it that lasts a full hour. Toby films the whole thing like a game show, and every time Happy ends up getting hit with a geyser because she was trying to keep Addie from falling over he says, “Ooh, Mama got hit. Will she recover?”

Happy, after the third time he does this, scoops water in her hands and throws it at his jeans. It hits him right on the side of the leg.

“That was a foul!” Toby cries.

“Foll!” Addie says. She pauses. “Fall. Foll?”

“Hard word, it’s okay,” Happy says waving it off. “Want to go back in the water?”

She shakes her head, flapping her hands. “Too wet,” Addie says firmly. “No more.”

Addie promptly falls quiet in her stroller once they buy her a new set of clothes, since her entire outfit was soaked right through. She’s particularly pleased with the Minnie Mouse underpants.

Toby gives Happy his hoodie, and Happy drapes her damp shirt over the handles of the strollers to let it dry.

“A little big on you,” Toby says, trying not to laugh.

“We’ve know this for years,” Happy says. “Besides. Keeps my hands warm.”

“It’s sixty-two degrees,” Paige says.

Happy shrugs. “And I’m cold easily. What’s your point?”

Paige just grins.

Addie’s exhaustion and the low energy of the group lends itself well to meandering around The World, everyone taking the time to look around and take it all in. But Happy can tell that, even though it’s not even dinnertime, they’re not going to make it too much longer.

Addie asks if she’ll get to see a princess, and Happy promises they will tomorrow. It’s been a long day.

Even though she claims to be awake, Toby’s convinced that Addie just keeps falling asleep and waking up every time Sylvester announces a fact about the country they walk past.

Eventually, though, they realize that their feet are sore and they can’t overdo it on the first day if they want to make it through the next four.

“Mommy, fireworks?”

“Tomorrow, Add,” Happy promises. “We’ll see them tomorrow.”

They fall asleep quickly and end up going to Magic Kingdom the next morning, which is an unbelievable amount of chaos. Addie drops her hat, Paige gets sick three times in one morning, and Walter skins his knee after Addie gets overexcited and starts running off to see Winnie the Pooh, and he trips over a stranger’s purse when he and Happy start to chase the speedy toddler.

“Toby, likelihood of infection?” Walter asks as Toby finishes up checking out the wound.

“I’m not telling you that, because that’s a stupid question,” Toby says. “We cleaned it, you’ve got antibiotic on it, you’re wearing a bandaid. You’re fine.”

“Well, it’s important to be cognizant of potential health risks of minor injuries,” Walter says. “I don’t – want to –” He cuts himself short. “Anyway, Disney Philhar Magic?”

They go home for time at the pool, and a nap for Addie, Paige, and Toby.

Happy and Walter take a bunch of pictures of the three of them under the umbrella.

“We should post a bunch of these all over the garage,” Sylvester laughs.

“You kidding me?” Cabe says. “I’m posting them all over Homeland. Bring a little sunshine to that drab place.”

Eventually, though, they make it to their dinner reservation at Tony’s in Magic Kingdom, Addie doing an adorable happy dance while eating her spaghetti and meatballs, and the atmosphere is different than usual. Paige and Walter keep exchanging glances while Sly plays with the bandaid ring on his finger, the millionth incarnation but still with the same meaning.

“Why don’t we head out?” Paige asks. “We can watch the fireworks from somewhere special.”

“That’s a great idea,” Walter says, and it, somehow, sounds rehearsed.

“What’s going on?” Toby asks. “What are you two hiding?”

“I’m hiding a massive Italian dinner, that’s for sure,” Cabe says, patting his belly. “I like the idea of fireworks.”

“Monorail?” Addie asks, lighting up.

Paige nods. “That’s a great idea, Addie girl.”

They walk out of Magic Kingdom and Addie looks up at the tracks.

“Monorail?” Addie says, looking up at Happy for confirmation.

Happy lifts Addie up and settles her on her hip. “That whole thing is the monorail.”

The look of wonder and amazement makes Happy pretty proud of her girl. “And it goes zoom like the rides?” Addie asks.

“Just like this!” Toby exclaims. He grabs Addie from Happy’s arms and spins her around, sprinting full speed toward the entrance to the Magic Kingdom monorail.

“For somebody who claims to be such a screw up,” says Paige, walking next to Happy, “he’s the best dad I’ve ever seen.”

“Walter’s probably going to be good at it, too,” Happy says.

Paige stops dead in her tracks. “What?”

“Oh, come on,” Happy says. “I’ve been with Toby nearly five years and you don’t think I’ve picked up on some psych stuff? Plus, when we got dinner tonight, you got sprite instead of white wine. You never turn down white wine.”

Paige frowns. “Of all the people to figure it out first.”

Happy just grins at her. “Congratulations, though. Too bad you can’t keep secrets anymore.”

They make it onto the monorail just in time, and Toby managed to convince the driver to let their group sit in the front. Addie’s face is glued to the glass, watching the sun set over Cinderella’s castle like she’s never seen anything like it.

Toby wraps his arm around Happy’s waist and presses his forehead to her hair. “Thank you,” he says quietly.

“For what?” Happy asks. She leans against him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“For being amazing,” he murmurs, “for having my baby.” He kisses her temple. “For giving me the chance to have the life I dreamed of but didn’t think I deserved.”

“I could say the same to you,” Happy says. There’s so much in her heart right now it feels like it could burst, just watching Ralph explain to Addie how the monorail works. Happy can’t imagine a better big brother for Paige and Walter’s new baby.

“Go ahead, Addie,” Ralph says.

That’s when Addie climbs off the seat, takes something from Paige, and hands it to Happy.

“What’s this, sweetheart?” Toby asks. In any other situation, Happy would assume this was Toby’s doing. But his confusion is clear as Addie’s little toddler hands unfurl a scroll-like piece of paper.

It’s in her handwriting, so it takes a moment for Happy to translate. Toby gets it first, and then, a split second after, Happy reads it out loud.

“Mommy, will you marry Daddy?”

Addie beams. “Aunnie Paige helped me write it,” she says proudly. “She says Daddy had a plan once and it didn’t work. So I did it.” She thinks for a minute. “It’s called a po-zal.”

“Proposal,” says Toby quietly. He turns to Happy. “What do you think? You want to marry me?”

Addie nods pretty emphatically.

“Yeah,” Happy says. “Of course I do.”

“Mommy, take off the ring, take off the ring!” Addie says. “Daddy has to po-zal you.”

Happy pulls the ring off, feeling weirdly naked, and hands it to Toby, who kneels.

Paige is sitting there, her head on Walter’s shoulder, grinning so widely that Happy’s certain this was all her plan.

“Happy Quinn,” Toby says, kneeling.

“No, Daddy,” Addie says, “me too.” Addie ducks under his outstretched arm and sits on his bended knee. “Okay, go.”

“Happy Quinn,” Toby begins again, “will you marry me?”

“No, Daddy!” Addie says, pulling on his shirt. “Gotta talk. You gotta tell her why you want to marry her!”

Happy holds back a laugh at Toby’s mild exasperation. “Yeah, Toby,” Happy teases. “Tell me why.”

Toby sighs. “You’re the love of my life,” Toby says quietly. “With all we’ve survived, if it led me to you, I’d do it a million times over. Between our beautiful daughter,” he kisses Addie on the cheek, “and the team, I think our family is the best in the world. But I’d love to go one step further, and call you my wife.” Addie bounces on his knee, clapping. “Is that good, baby girl?”

Addie nods. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Happy Quinn,” Toby says, holding up her ring, “will you marry me?”

“And me, too,” Addie says.

“Yes, and Addie too,” Toby confirms.

“Of course I will,” Happy says, and it’s that moment that the last sunbeams of the evening hit the ring as Toby and Addie slide it on her hand.

Toby picks Addie up and stands, kissing Happy as Addie wraps her arms around both of them.

“Now that,” Paige says, “is a proposal.”

Happy turns to her. “How did you pull this off? Without either of us figuring it out?”

“I can keep a secret,” Addie says. “Like how Auntie Paige is having a baby.”

Paige drops her head in her hand.

“Oh,” says Addie. “Oops.”

Within minutes Addie’s fallen asleep on Toby’s shoulder as he sings to her. Happy picks up some things from Mulan and Hercules, but eventually she feels herself dozing off, Addie’s hand resting against her face. The fireworks sparkle against the dark nights sky as she falls asleep, and the ring feels more at home on her hand than it ever has before.

She’s woken up by Toby saying, “I can only carry one of you, and Addie’s out cold.”

Happy blinks awake to see that the monorail is about to stop right in front of the Magic Kingdom parking lot.

“At the hotel?”

“Yeah, but you still need to wake up,” Toby says. “Come on.”

They follow the rest of their friends out of the monorail car as Ralph yawns, half asleep.

“They never make it to the hotel without falling asleep,” Paige says, smoothing down Ralph’s hair. “No matter how grown up they get.”

“Is he excited?” Toby asks. “To be a big brother, I mean.”

Paige looks at Ralph. “I think so,” she says. “But I think it’s going to be a big adjustment for everyone. In a good way, though.

Ralph blinks himself all the way awake and walks like a zombie into the room he’s sharing with Sylvester, closing the door behind him like he hasn’t even processed where he is or who he’s with

Before Paige and Walter follow, Sylvester turns to Paige. “We have another baby?” he asks. “You people need to learn.”

“Well, our baby was on purpose,” Walter says. He smiles at Paige and takes her hand. “We actually know how to plan our lives.”

Happy glares at Walter, but Toby gets there first. “Hey!” says Toby, nodding at Addie who, thankfully, is still completely asleep. “On purpose my ass. Addie just came into the world on her own terms instead of ours. That's more purposeful than anything we've done.”

Walter kisses Paige in that soft way he does when he’s at a loss for words. “At least we’re married first.”

“You know what,” Happy says, brandishing the ring. “We’ll get there. We do things out of order, but we get there.”

Paige nods. “Well, we’re off to bed,” she says with a smile. “Congratulations, you two.”

Happy nods at her. “Same to you guys.”

Addie won’t let go of Toby even in her sleep, so they set her in bed with them. Happy’s too wired to fall asleep – the day has been eventful and long, and she just wants some time with her family.

“So,” she says, “big day.”

Toby hums in agreement, rocking Addie gently. “Remember when we used to always do this?” he asks quietly. “Now we can barely get her to sit still.”

They watch Addie sleep in silence for a while until she lets go of Toby and he puts her in the little toddler bed.

Toby immediately curls up next to Happy, pulling her so her back is flush against his chest. “So we’re engaged,” he says, “again.”

“Technically, I’ve been wearing the ring for, what, about two years now?” she says. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” says Toby, kissing her neck. “But now it’s official.”

She settles against him and the wave of exhaustion hits her. “Disney World is exhausting,” Happy mentions, her words blurry with oncoming sleep.

“So is having a kid,” Toby says. “Go to sleep. We have Animal Kingdom tomorrow and Daddy’s got to remember all the details of every damn animal.” He groans. “You’re the one with the eidetic memory. Why didn’t you memorize it?”

Happy rolls over in his arms. “Because you love our daughter and I was busy drinking margaritas in Epcot Mexico with Sly.”

“Good point,” Toby says. He kisses Happy gently and softly, so much so that Happy feels herself drifting to sleep. “Can’t wait to marry you,” Toby murmurs.

“Ditto,” Happy manages. The next thing she knows, she’s asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happiest place on earth, indeed :) And I am in love with Disney.


	71. Addie the Disney Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The third day at Disney starts off way earlier than anyone but Addie appreciates, but that doesn't seem to be a problem.

Happy wakes the next morning, way too early, to Addie crawling next to her into bed. It takes her a moment to realize where they are – it’s Florida, it’s hot and humid, and it’s Disney World. They’re all in Disney World on a family vacation. Sometimes it doesn’t seem real.

“Hey, there,” Happy says, “you okay? Can’t sleep?”

“Mommy, I just love you,” Addie mumbles. She climbs on top of Happy’s chest and falls right back to sleep. Happy’s missed this. Addie always used to nap on her chest, snuggled up and warm and perfect, and as she’s gotten older she’s more into sleeping next to Toby or in between the two of them. But right now, even though Addie’s three times heavier and her limbs are long enough that they’re wrapped around Happy’s entire torso, it’s almost perfect. Happy adjusts the blanket to wrap around both of them, and falls back to sleep with her arms around her daughter.

Unfortunately, this means Happy’s sleep is interrupted every time Addie shifts or turns, so Happy ends up with about six hours of incredibly fitful sleep. Addie, however, wakes up at six in the morning with the sunniest smile in history and the announcement, “I’m gonna meet a giraffe today!”

Happy pushes herself up to sitting, her head spinning with sleeplessness. “Yeah, baby,” she says, blinking. “Gonna – gonna meet a giraffe.” She yawns.

“Sleepy, Mommy?”

“Yes,” Happy answers, yawning again. “But we’re going to meet animals today!” The fake excitement seems to convince Addie – she sits up and kicks her feet excitedly in the blankets.

Happy rolls over and checks her phone again to a text from Paige.

_Text me when you wake up_ _J_ _– Paige_

“You look funny, Mommy,” Addie says, trying to see the phone screen. “Is that a job?”

Happy shakes her head. “It’s Aunt Paige.”

Addie lights up. “She have the baby?”

“No, goofy, that’s going to be a long time from now,” Happy replies as she runs her fingers through Addie’s hair. “She’s awake.”

“Giraffe time?!” Addie exclaims.

Happy sigh resigning herself to an exhausted day.

_Why are you up right now? – Happy_

_I passed out at 9:30. Slept right through until half an hour ago. I’ll be right by your room in a minute. – Paige_

There’s a knock on the door within a few seconds, sooner than Happy expected. “I got it!” Addie exclaims.

Happy catches her arm. “Wait, baby,” she says. “I’m going to check.”

Paige is standing outside the door, looking way too sunny for six in the morning. “So,” she says, “I was wondering, Addie, if Uncle Walter and I could take you to breakfast early so we can get to Animal Kingdom right as the park opens.”

Addie’s eyes widen, the excitement written across her face. “Can I, Mommy?” she asks. “Aminals!”

“Animals,” Happy corrects. She shoots a look of thanks at Paige. “I think that’s a great idea.”

Paige nods knowingly. “Figured Mom and Dad might need some rest. They had a long day yesterday.”

Addie turns to Happy. “You come when you get some sleep.”

Happy nods. “Of course, Addie Grace.”

Addie grins up at her and Happy gets her dressed and ready.

“Wait!” Happy says. “Water bottle? Sunscreen?”

“Got both in her bag,” Paige says, wiggling the bag at Happy. “We’re fine.”

Happy nods and gives Addie a big hug and kiss. “Have fun, baby girl.”

“Love you, Mommy!”

Happy falls right into bed the second the door closes.

“’S going on?” Toby asks.

“Addie with Paige. We get to sleep,” Happy replies, settling into the covers. “Stop talking.”

“Oh, thank god,” Toby groans. “Disney is killing me.”

“I said stop talking.”

“Disney is not the happiest place on earth,” Toby groans. “Only two days walking around and my legs are killing me.”

Happy grabs the extra pillow and puts it on top of Toby’s face.

He splutters and pushes it off. “If we were the seven dwarves, you’d be Grumpy,” he mutters.

“Yeah, and you know who you’d be?” Happy replies, eyes closed.

“Doc.”

“No. You’d be Dopey.”

“Hey!” Toby exclaims.

“Goodnight.”

Happy doesn’t wake up until hours later, to Toby kissing her gently.

“Morning, love,” he says.

“We slept,” she says. “We actually slept.”

He nods. “I know. It was amazing.”

“And,” Happy says, realization flooding through her, “we have an entire hotel room to ourselves.”

“Oh yeah?” Toby says, resting a hand on her hip, slowly pushing her pajama shirt up. “What on earth could we do?”

“No idea,” Happy sighs. Toby’s lips press to the side of Happy’s neck, excited for all the time in the world.

Toby laughs as he presses her into the mattress, and she finally thinks this marriage thing might work for them.

~

“Seriously, guys, you need to get here soon,” Paige says. “It’s nearly lunch time and there’s a certain three year old dying to go on the safari ride with her parents.”

Happy sips her mojito and adjusts her sunglasses. “We’re, uh. We’re otherwise occupied.”

“Yeah,” Toby says, looking like the biggest dweeb possible in his thick layer of sunscreen, “got a lot of stuff to do.”

“You do not,” Paige replies. “Stop lounging by the pool and come see animals. Addie and I went to see the birds and she said one of them looked like Toby.”

Happy laughs. “Okay, we’ll be there soon.”

“But I just got my –” Toby pouts as Happy hangs up. “I just got my sunscreen on.”

“You need it, pasty,” Happy says, poking at his chest. “But I can help take care of that problem for you, if you want.”

Toby frowns. “I don’t like that look in your eyes.”

“You can’t see my eyes,” Happy replies, touching her sunglasses.

Toby stares at her. “Figure of speech.” He looks worried. “Don’t throw me in the pool.”

Happy deflates and falls back against the chair. “It’s not fun if you know about it.”

“It’s not fun at all,” he replies.

She grins at him. “It is for me.”

They make their way to Animal Kingdom and meet up for lunch somewhere near Dinosaur Land.

Addie barely notices them when they get there as she cuddles a stuffed animal that looks like a combination of a monkey and a kangaroo.

“What do you have there, kiddo?” Happy asks hesitantly, eyeing Addie and her new toy.

“This is Jellybean.” Addie says, feeding the toy one of her carrot sticks. “I love Jellybean.”

“What is Jellybean?” Toby asks. He sits down next to Addie.

“Tree kangaroo,” Addie pronounces.

“I don’t think I’ve heard of a tree kangaroo before,” Happy says. “Also, did you people get us lunch?”

“Yes,” Paige replies. “But I ate it because you were so late.”

“Jellybean ate your lunch!” Addie giggles. “Just kidding.” She points to a tray. “That’s yours.”

“Silly Jellybean,” Toby says, passing the cheeseburger to Happy.

Addie beams, cuddling it. “She is my best friend.” She looks over at Cabe. “Popsy bought her for me!”

Cabe looks a bit sheepish as Happy looks at him pointedly. “Oh, really?”

Addie nods. “I love her.”

“Pops already bought you a Moana doll, a Baymax tee shirt, and entire set of superhero art supplies,” Toby says. “Popsy is going to have to volunteer some luggage space.”

Cabe shrugs. “Whatever my girl needs, she gets.”

Addie giggles. “Popsy is the best.”

Toby scoffs. “Yeah, I bet.”

They eat their lunch as Addie tells all of them about how much she loves her Jellybean and all the adventures they plan on having, until she remembers the safari.

“Guys, we gotta go,” she says, very seriously. “We gotta go now.”

“Where do we have to go?” Toby asks as Addie tugs on his hand. “Add, honey, we’ve got all day. Calm down.”

“No, Daddy, safari!” Addie insists. “Come on, Daddy, let’s go.”

“When did she get this strong?” Toby asks as he gets half-dragged by Addie across the park. The rest of the team catches up, but Paige slows down to walk with Happy at the back of the group.

“Your kid blew my secret,” Paige says, grinning. “Looks like nobody in your family can keep a secret, huh?”

“To be fair, you’re giving her a cousin. Did you really expect her to be able to hold that part in?”

Paige shrugs. “You’ve got a point there.” She rests a hand on her belly. “Though, I didn’t expect the baby to happen so quickly. Usually it takes some time and –”

“Nope,” Happy says, shaking her head. “Don’t get started on how you and Walter had to make a baby. That’s one side of your lives I don’t want to hear about it.”

Paige shrugs. “It’s fun to bother you guys. Am I not allowed to?”

“Nope,” Happy replies. “Not with this.”

When they get to the safari ride, they very quickly realize they should have grabbed fast passes to get away from the line. It’s long. Really long.

“Mommy, does that say sixty?” Addie asks, like she’s not asking about how the next hour of her life is going to be miserable.

“Yes, sweetie.”

“Why?”

“Because we have to wait sixty minutes to get on the ride,” Toby says gently. She’s glad he’s handling this. He can handle meltdowns better than she can, especially in public.

Addie purses her lips. “So, soon?”

“Soon-ish,” Toby corrects. “You know what we can do while we wait?”

“Doc McStuffins?” Addie asks.

Toby shakes his head. “No, honey, we get to see her tomorrow. And that’s when we get to see the Star Wars part of the park.”

Addie grins. “Doc and BB-8 and Sofia?” she asks.

Toby nods. “Yes, exactly, but –”

“Doc McStuffins show, though,” she says, grabbing at Toby’s pocket. “Want to watch now.”

Toby picks her up. “Why don’t we play another game, instead?”

“Let’s do an adding game,” Sylvester says. “I need to get my mind off of the amount of bacteria that no doubt exists on the handrails of this line.”

Paige reaches into her bag, with a slight eye roll, and hands him his hand sanitizer. “Next time, if I’m bringing stuff for all you boys, you’re carrying the bag,” she insists.

Walter, without a word, reaches out and takes the bag, settling it on his shoulders. Paige smiles at him. “That was gallant of you.”

Walter shrugs, looking almost smug. “It’s not right for my pregnant wife to be carrying a heavy bag.”

For a moment they look at each other all moony-eyed, and Happy has to ruin it with, “Oh, come on, guys, we’re in public.”

Paige covers Addie’s eyes with one hand and shows one particular finger to Happy as she leans in and kisses Walter quickly.

“You know, I should be offended,” says Toby, “but mostly I’m just sort of impressed with her coordination.”

The first forty-five minutes are just barely tolerable. The size of the team makes it easy for each person to come up with a game or two to entertain Addie, and Sly wins for best activity when he plays a quick snippet of a song on his phone and Addie has to guess the song. Ralph is a close second when he and Addie decide to make up stories for the people who pass them in line, but loses out when Addie starts to notice that she’s seen the same people twice.

As they get closer to the ride, Addie grows impatient.

“My turn?” she asks, climbing on the gates. Toby gently brings her down and they play a quick game where they guess who in each group should go in which seat on the car.

“My turn?” she asks, a little more forcefully, as she tries to subtly push her way around the people in front of her. Cabe picks her up and settles her on his shoulders, asking her to count all of the people in front of them in line.

“My turn!” she pronounces, getting frustrated. She stomps her foot and pouts.

“With an attitude like that, you’re not getting any turns,” Happy says firmly. “Turn it around, Addie, or no safari.”

Addie tries to stare her down, but Happy’s not having any of this. She’ll be damned if she has to miss this safari because of a temper tantrum, even if it is kind of fake and they’re in Florida, not Africa.

Addie, then, finally relents, deflating. Silently she reaches up for Happy and she picks her up.

“My turn?” Addie asks hesitantly.

“Not quite.”

Addie’s a bit of a grump, but she’s quiet, until she realizes they’re about to be loaded into the next vehicle.

“Mommy, what’s that car?”

“Those are custom-built trucks by Ford and GMC,” Happy explains. “Look.” She explains the details of each truck, estimates the engine sizes and models, and Addie finally, finally, looks excited again.

“We’re going on the truck!” Addie exclaims. “Down, down!”

“Not until we get on there,” Happy says. “I don’t want you falling.”

Happy sits closest to the left side of the truck while Toby sits next to her, and then Addie, and then Sylvester. Behind them go the rest of the team. Addie tries to scramble across laps, but she’s caught at every attempt.

“No leaving the vehicle, little miss,” the driver says with a pointed smile.

Happy nods. “She’s not going anywhere.”

Apparently the work Toby had been doing with Addie to memorize animals was well needed – Addie spends the whole time trying to name every single animal she sees. She gets stuck, however, on one they thought she’d get in an instant.

“Fingomingo!” Addie says, pointing to the pink birds. “Fingomingo, Mommy!”

“Flamingo,” Happy says slowly.

“Yeah, Add, you know this,” Toby says. “Fla-min-go.”

“Fingomingo!” Addie exclaims. “I want a purple fingomingo.”

“They’re pink because of all the shrimp they eat,” Sylvester notes.

“Then my fingomingo will eat plums,” Addie announces.

The day ends after the safari when Addie falls asleep while in her stroller, and they return to the hotel. Cabe and Sylvester opt to play at the arcade while Walter and Paige go out to dinner. Exhausted, Happy and Toby settle Addie down for a nap.

“So,” Toby says, swinging her hand. “Thoughts about this whole family vacation thing?”

“I like it,” Happy says. “Am I going to feel that way after we go to Hollywood Studios tomorrow and then Magic Kingdom again the next day?”

Toby laughs. “Oh, certainly not,” he says. “The last time we were this exhausted was that time we nearly froze to death.”

“Says you,” Happy scoffs. “Labor still tops for the most exhausting moments of my life.”

“Touche,” Toby accepts. “While she’s sleeping, do you want to –”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Toby, I’m exhausted.”

“I was going to say nap!”

Happy kisses him gently before flopping into the hotel bed. “Sure you were.”

~

It is exhausting. But it’s also amazing. It’s exhausting and magical and damned expensive, but it’s worth it to see how happy Addie is each time she sees a new character or tries a new play space. Shockingly, even after Toy Story Mania, after Disney Junior Live, after the safari and animals and meeting characters, on their last day, Addie announces that Tomorrowland Transit is her favorite part of everything.

“Really?” Toby asks, holding Addie in his lap. “This is your favorite?”

Addie nods. “It goes fast and slow and all around,” she explains. “I like tea cups, too.”

Toby starts to go a little green for probably the third time that day. “We’re not going to talk about the tea cups or Dad’s going to get sick again.”

“You didn’t like meeting Sofia best?” Happy asks.

“Mommy,” Addie says, going suddenly serious, “Sofia’s not a real person.”

Happy blinks. “Really now.”

Addie nods solemnly. “But I still like the pictures. Because Sofia’s my favorite pretend.”

Happy and Toby exchange a look over Addie’s head. “Did you know Sofia wasn’t real?” Toby asks, a little smile playing on his lips.

Happy shakes her head. “Had no idea.”

Addie cuddles into Toby’s lap. “Can we go Tomorrowland Tan Sit again?”

Toby checks his watch. “Yeah, we’ve still got time to go on,” he exaggerates every syllable, “Tomorrowland Transit.”

Addie grins. “Good, because I want more Disney and Tan Sit.”

Happy winces. “Uh –”

Toby shakes his head frantically. “We’ll have one more ride at Disney.”

Luckily, Addie falls asleep on the monorail ride back to the hotel, so they manage to pack up and get ready to go while she’s out cold.

“Think we could just swoop her out of here without her figuring out that we’ve left?”

Toby laughs. “Yeah, right. Besides,” he bumps her hip with his, “you’re going to miss this place just as much as she is. You’re secretly a Disney geek.”

Happy shrugs. “Guess I am.”

Toby wiggles his eyebrows. “So I’m the Disney Prince and you’re the Disney Princess.”

Happy rolls her eyes, but can’t help but smile. “As long as there’s a Disney princess who fixes cars and can kick ass.”

Toby points to her. “There is now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're not supposed to cite wikipedia, but thanks, wikipedia, for giving me the information about the trucks on the Kilimanjaro Safaris.


	72. Addie, 3 years 6 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It used to be Paige staying behind to take care of Addie. Now it feels more like Addie stays back to keep an eye on Paige.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: guns. And doilies.

They get a call at three thirty in the morning about a threat to the Social Security administration and Cabe’s curt, “Get here. Now.”

“Yup,” Happy mumbles, and she’s in Addie’s room waking her up before Happy herself is fully awake.

It’s cold for April, so Happy pulls Addie out of bed and puts on the toddler CalTech sweatshirt Ralph got Addoe for Christmas.

“Mommy, too small,” she mumbles.

“You’re right,” Happy says, trying to pull it down. “Oh. sweetie, you’re getting so big.”

“Sleep, Mama,” Addie mumbles. “For sleep time now.”

“You can sleep in the car, Add,” Happy soothes.

Toby hands Happy the coffee he made hastily and grabs Addie’s bag, and they drive silently to the garage with Addie asleep in the car. She doesn’t wake up when Toby unbuckles her – just flops over his shoulder.

“If it’s too early for the kid, it’s too early for everyone,” Toby mutters.

“At least if we were on the east coast we’d see the sunset in a few hours,” Happy retorts.

Walter and Paige are arguing when they get into the garage, and it’s heated by the way Cabe and Sylvester are hidden in the kitchen, like they’re doing everything they can not to be part of it.

Toby pauses in the doorway, and Happy follows his lead.

“God, you’re worse than Toby was!” Paige exclaims. “I’ve done this pregnancy thing before, or did you not remember? Alone, that time.”

Toby winces. “Ouch.”

“I’m trying to keep you safe!”

“You were trying to hide the fact that we have a case so you snuck out of our house and tried to leave me behind!” Paige exclaims.

“You need your sleep,” Walter says, and it’s only then that Happy really gets a look at how nervous he is.

“So do we all,” Paige replies, “but this job doesn’t let it happen. We live.”

Walter makes that Walter face of complete frustration, going silent.

“Should we leave?” Happy mutters from the corner of her mouth.

That’s when Addie makes that little cat-like noise of hers when she wakes up, and says, “Mama, I want cereal.”

Paige and Walter’s heads snap to the door.

“How long have you two been there?” Walter asks.

“Is it cliché to say ‘long enough’?” Toby says.

Addie sits up. “Aunnie Pay, I need a new sweatshirt.” She rubs her eyes. “Why you mad?”

“We’re not mad, sweetie,” Paige replies, and, god, even Happy knows that’s a boldfaced lie.

“Toby, isn’t it unsafe for a woman in her third trimester to go on a mission that may involve dangerous criminals?”

“Everything we do involves dangerous criminals,” Paige deadpans. “And I might become a dangerous criminal if you don’t shut your mouth.”

Happy isn’t sure if she should cover Addie’s ears or her eyes with Paige glaring daggers.

“Okay,” Toby says, handing Addie over to Happy. She scurries over to Sly and Cabe, because she wants Addie out of the line of fire. “Let’s calm down and think about it.”

“No!” Paige says. “You step off, Captain Psychobabble.”

“Psychiatrybabble!” Toby defends.

“For a genius your fiancé is an idiot,” Cabe snickers.

“Hey, I’m an eye-diet,” Toby corrects.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Paige asks, while Walter just stares incredulously.

“Can we just get on with the Social Security case?” Sly asks, his voice practically a whine.

Eventually they determine that Paige actually needs to stay home with Toby to guide them through the halls of the building and to read the group who infiltrated and figure out who the leaders and followers are of all of them.

In the van, Walter, in the front seat, leans over to Happy once Paige and Toby have gone back into the garage.

“Actually, I had Toby stay with Paige in case the stress hurt the baby,” Walter whispers to Happy. “Is that okay?”

“Dumbass,” Happy says, rolling her eyes.

“Was that a bad decision?”

“Kind of,” Happy says, “but, also, coms are on.”

“Be aware, I’m killing you when you get home,” Paige says, her voice cheery.

“She’s not going to kill you,” Toby says.

“Thank you, Toby,” Walter says, “I appreciate –”

“She’ll just inflict bodily harm to her satisfaction and leave you to grovel.”

Walter slumps back against the chair. “Sorry, Paige.”

“You’re apologizing, at least,” Cabe says, clapping him on the shoulder. “Good first step.”

The hacker’s location isn’t too far out of the boundaries of LA, so they get there within an hour and a half of Walter sulking in the car.

“Buck up, kiddo, or I’m kicking you out,” Cabe says. “We need you on your game to get these people out of the Social Security files.”

Walter nods. “Got it.”

Sylvester tells them to stop in front of a quaint little split level in the middle of nowhere, looking nothing like a hacker’s hideaway.

“I mean,” Happy says, unsure of what’s happening, “it’s inconspicuous.”

“Looks nothing like our garage,” Sylvester says.

“Our garage does look like a supervillain cave,” Happy replies.

“Just – get out of the car and get to work,” Cabe says, “whatever their place looks like, this is the place. And whoever’s in there is going to be dangerous.”

Sylvester gets into the video camera feed from the car but, unfortunately, there’s only two of them on either side of the front door.

“At least they’re digital,” Walter says.

“I’ll say it. That was ineffective,” Toby mutters. “I thought such great hackers would have a better security system.”

Cabe waits outside on lookout while Happy, following Toby’s instructions, hides in the blind spots of the outside camera as it moves across the yard. She does a couple somersaults to avoid the camera instead of walking, because it’s easier and because it’s a little more fun.

“Would you take this seriously?” Toby hisses. “The sun’s coming up and you’re going to get caught.”

“I am taking this seriously,” Happy fires back, and she gets to the window in the back of the house without anybody seeing. “See? I’m good.”

“Why are you doing this, anyway?” Paige asks. “Isn’t Cabe supposed to be the muscle?”

“I’m muscly!” Happy argues. “Besides, I’m small,” she opens up the window just a crack and climbs through. “Comes in handy for stuff like this.

Happy manages to land quietly on the ground of what looks like a bedroom, with a single figure in the bed.

“What the hell?” Happy says quietly. “Guys, are we sure this is the right place?”

“Yeah,” Walter replies. “My tracking is never wrong.”

“In that case,” Happy says, stepping over an impressively ugly rug, “our hackers really love doilies.”

And then something makes an ungodly shriek, and she’s convinced it’s an alarm until she sees a cat streak past her through the open door.

“What was that?!”

“Cat!” Happy half-shrieks, catching herself in the middle of the word.

And then –

“Who the hell are you?!”

Happy looks over to the bed, ready to fight for her life, when she sees a little old lady no more than a hundred pounds and no less than eighty years, sitting up in her bed. The lady fumbles for her glasses and shoves them on. “You’re definitely not my grandson!”

“Oh,” Happy says, halted in her tracks. “I –”

“What are you doing in my house?!” the old lady exclaims. Happy knows she probably shouldn’t be noticing this, but her nightgown has Tweety Bird on it, and she’s kind of wondering where it came from.

“You hacked Social Security,” Happy says. “You?”

“Those fuckers wouldn’t give me my money!” she exclaims, slamming her hand on the table. “I worked in a nursing home for forty years and some kid steals my identity, and I get punished? Hell to that!”

Happy blinks. “Ma’am, I don’t think you realize –”

“Oh, I realize well and good!” she interrupts. She’s got a lot of energy for a lady short and slighter than Happy with a good sixty years on her. “You’re from the government!” She shakes her finger at Happy. “The government won’t let me have my money!”

“I mean, we are from the government, but our problem is that –”

“A-ha!” the lady screams. “This is trespassing!”

“Happy, bad move,” Toby says into her ear. She can practically hear how badly he’s wincing.

“Get out of my house!” the lady shouts. “I got a gun.”

“Wait, lady, don’t shoot!”

Then, with an inhuman shriek, the lady dashes to her bed, pulls a full sized rifle out from under her pillow, and cocks it. “Out!”

“Holy – lady, we’ve just got to –”

“I’m gonna start firing!”

And she does, just as Happy scrambles out of the window. She hits the ground hard, forgetting the split level’s height and lands on her bad ankle. But she runs like hell, hearing gunshots coming out of the house.

“What are you people doing?!” she shrieks as Walter stares with his laptop in his hand, dumbfounded. “Get in the car!”

Cabe starts the engine while Walter says, “But an old lady shouldn’t be able to hack Social Security.”

“Sucks to suck, Walter, because she did.” Happy practically throws him into the car when Sylvester pulls open the door, and dives in after him. “Drive!”

They hear gunshots for what Happy swears is another half hour, and it’s not until then that she calms down.

“Holy crap,” Happy says, leaning against the side of the van. “Holy crap.”

“We almost got killed by an old lady,” Sylvester mutters. “What the fuck just happened?!”

“How could an old lady hack something I can’t hack?” Walter says, looking horribly disappointed. “Who is she?”

“I don’t care who she is,” Happy says pointedly. “She tried to kill me.”

“Yeah, about that,” Toby says. “Everybody’s okay, right?”

“Ankle’s not happy with me, but I’m okay,” Happy replies. “You guys?”

“Addie’s at preschool – your dad brought her – and Paige is mad at Walter for missing the fact that you guys almost got killed today.”

“By a grandma,” Sly adds, shaking his head.

“Yeah, just a note?” Toby says. “I wouldn’t mention that part.”

~

Happy walks in, limping a little bit, to see Addie waiting for her. “Hey, kiddo!” she exclaims. “What are you doing here?”

“Daddy got me early,” she says, grinning. “Surprise!”

Happy picks her up and swings Addie up into her arms, giving her a big kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, sweetie.”

Happy looks over to see Paige, lying on the couch with her eyes closed.

“You okay?” Happy asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She winces. “It’s just, this baby is doing a tango today,” Paige sighs, rubbing her hands over her belly. “Must have been all that stress from the case. Kid’s rolling around in here like my body is a carnival ride.” And then she pauses. “Oh, crap.”

Addie looks horrified. “What?”

“Haven’t had a chance to explain that to her yet,” Happy says, frowning.

“Sorry,” Paige winces.

“No, it’s okay,” Happy says. “She has to learn at some point.” They look over at Addie, who looks baffled.

“Baby – the baby is in your belly?” Addie asks. “That is a baby?” She stares at Paige’s belly, like she understood but didn’t really believe it until somebody confirmed it. “Really?”

Paige nods.

“Why?”

“That’s where babies, uh,” Happy pauses, “grow?”

Addie’s quiet for a moment, then shyly steps over to Paige. “Auntie Paige, can I feel?”

“Of course you can, Addie. You have to meet your cousin!” Paige takes Addie’s hand and rests it on her belly. Happy watches as Addie’s eyes widen.

“Mommy, the baby moves around!” she says, looking shocked. “I feel my baby cousin!” She looks down. “Mommy, this is,” she pauses, clearly searching for the right word, “weird. Did I do this?”

Happy nods. “Yes, you did.”

“I was in your tummy?”

Happy freezes. “Yes, you were.”

“How do babies get in tummies?” Addie asks, looking baffled. “Auntie Paige didn’t eat my cousin.” She looks at Paige in horror. “Right, Auntie Paige?”

Paige looks over at Happy. “Mommy’s going to explain this to you,” Paige says, nodding toward Happy.

Addie toddles over and takes Happy’s hand. “Mommy, where do babies come from?”

Happy turns around. “Toby! I need you!”

Toby stumbles down the stairs from Walter’s office. “What? What’s wrong? Is your ankle worse? Did you get shot and you missed it from shock?”

“Daddy, where do babies come from?” Addie asks.

Happy watches Toby’s face go from confusion to astonishment to cool and collected. “Well, Addie Grace,” Toby says, and Happy automatically recognizes Toby’s Doctor Voice, “when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much, they connect in a very personal way that is for grown ups only. Thirty years or older.”

Happy swats his arm.

“And they have a baby,” Toby finishes, shooting a glare at Happy.

“And that’s how I happened?” Addie asks in disbelief. “That seems silly. Popsy told me I was brought here by angels.”

“Well, that’s just ridiculous,” Toby says.

Addie glares. “Popsy is not ridic-liss!” Addie says.

“You were brought here by angels, if that’s what you want to think right now, Addie,” Happy says, because there’s no universe where she’s ready for this conversation with her three year old. “But later on, when you’re older, we’ll have the conversation again, okay?”

“I’m an angel baby,” Addie repeats. “Popsy calls me his little angel.”

“Who’s talking about my little angel?” Cabe asks. He walks over to Addie and swings her up into his arms. Addie giggles into his shoulder.

“Mommy and Daddy were telling me how babies happen,” Addie says plainly.

Cabe full out laughs at them. “Oh, that’s a fun one,” Cabe says. “No, really. Enjoy, guys.”

“Thanks,” Happy grumbles.

~

Happy’s weirdly pleased when she realizes that she’s woken up on her own instead of to an alarm. Her muscles still ache from dodging bullets and jumping out of windows, but she’s awake and not at four in the morning.

“Hi, Mommy,” Addie says, popping her head up.

Happy, while leaping out of bed in shock, screams, “Whoa!” and flails so badly she pulls the sheets off of the bed.

“Mommy?”

“Happy?” Toby says, peeking over the bed, “what are you doing?”

“Startled by your daughter,” Happy mutters, pulling herself off the ground. “Well, while we’re up.”

“Mommy, it’s Wednesday,” Addie says, pronouncing each syllable carefully. “No school. I go with you to work!”

“Oh, yeah,” Happy replies. “Yeah, you dress up however you want.”

“Goody!” Addie exclaims, and she darts into her room.

Toby and Happy basically play “who can squeeze in a longer shower” and make it to work barely on time, blaming Addie for taking so long to get there.

“But, Mommy, I was ready before Daddy was out of the shower,” she replies innocently, and Happy just has to laugh as Walter glares at Toby.

Cooper walks in later that day with a case as Addie is coloring in her Star Wars coloring book, and she explains the case while helping Addie out.

“You know, if I wasn’t explaining a situation that was threatening the life of a US Senator, this would be extremely calming,” Cooper says.

“Yes, but back to the senator,” Paige suggests.

After a long-winded explanation, it turns out both Toby and Happy are needed, so Paige stays behind with Addie and Walter.

“Are you sure?” Toby asks, grabbing the overnight bag he’s started hauling everywhere with Addie’s bag. “Isn’t it inefficient to leave behind the leader of our team during a case?”

“Perhaps,” Walter considers. “But I am extremely uncomfortable with leaving Paige alone at the garage with a toddler at this stage of her pregnancy, even though,” he pats Addie on the head, “this particular toddler is impressively mature for her age. She did well yesterday.”

Addie beams up at him. “Thanks, Uncle Wally.”

“Walter.”

“I like Wally better.”

“But I would prefer that you call me Uncle Walter,” Walter insists. Happy tries not to laugh, but it’s difficult – he still hasn’t realized yet how useless it is to argue with a three year old.

“But I would prefer that you’re Wally, like the robot,” Addie says. “And Paige can be Eeva!”

Paige laughs. “We should stop letting her watch all these Disney movies.”

Addie pouts. “But Auntie Paige, I gotta!”

Paige sighs. “Who else is going to teach your baby cousin how to sing Lion King?”

“Oh, Paige, no –”

But Happy’s pleas for silence go unnoticed, as Addie lights up and immediate starts singing Circle of Life.

“Oh, now you’ve done it,” Happy says, shoving her bag up on her shoulder. “Remember: you have no one to blame but yourself.”

“Why? She does this all the time.”

Toby frowns. “Yeah, except now she starts at Circle of Life and, word for word, acts out the whole movie.”

Walter looks horrified. “She what?”

“See you, boss!” Happy says gleefully. And with that, she kisses Addie on the cheek and goes off on another job.


	73. Addie, 3 years 8 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paige is nearly nine months pregnant, and Walter's going to be a dad. Happy would think it was crazy if she and Toby didn't have a kid first.

Paige waddles into the garage, looking just as uncomfortable as Happy felt when she was nearly nine months pregnant.

“Hey, guys,” she says, still trying to appear cheery. “How’s everyone today?”

“How are you?” Toby asks over the top of his book. Addie is reading her own book about the history of the automobile on his lap, and doesn’t even move when Toby sits up. “Thirty five weeks – you’re getting close.”

“Hopefully not too close,” Paige says. “Baby needs to be full term, don’t you, little one.” She rubs her belly.

“Cabe and I,” Walter says, walking carefully behind Paige as she shuffles over to the couch, “have to go over to the psychiatric hospital for an interview regarding Mark Collins,” the name leaves a sour tinge in the air of the garage, “and we’ll be back around noon. With lunch.”

“Sounds great!” Toby says, grinning over at Walter. “I’ll take a burger from In-N-Out.”

“You’ll take whatever we get for you,” Cabe says pointedly. “Whatever Paige likes is what we’ll get.”

“In-N-Out sounds good,” Paige says, rubbing her belly. “With a chocolate milkshake and large fries, please.” She pauses. “Actually, I could eat that right now.”

“So that for breakfast?” Walter asks. “Because, I’m afraid, Cabe and I have to go –”

“No, no, I’m not eating In-N-Out for breakfast,” Paige says, trying to convince herself. “I’m feeling an egg bagel.”

“I’ll go grab breakfast and take care of some errands, while I’m at it,” Toby says. “Once I’m done with this chapter.” He leans down and kisses the top of Addie’s head. “You want to come with, baby girl?”

“Not a baby,” Addie mutters, her eyes still locked on her book. “And no, Daddy, I’m reading. And I gotta be here for Auntie Paige and my baby cousin.”

“Got it.” Toby stands up with a book in one arm and Addie in the other. She’s still reading. “Addie, baby, you can stay in my seat.”

“Uh-huh, okay, Daddy,” Addie says. She doesn’t even respond when he settles her in his seat.

“Big old book worm,” he ruffles her hair, “just like her daddy.”

“No surprise there,” Happy says. “You’re dead to the world when you’re really into a book, but I think it’s because you’re ignoring us.”

They all look at Addie, who sighs and finally looks up. “I’m not ignoring, I’m con-se-trading,” she says. “Gotta con-se-trade to read my books!” She looks pointedly at Happy. “Mommy, make them let me read.”

“You heard the girl,” Happy says, trying not to laugh.

Toby takes orders from the team for breakfast, shoots Happy a smile, and walks out the door beside Walter and Cabe.

The garage is quiet when it’s only the girls. Sylvester’s out working on the Megan Dodd Scholarship, so it’s only Happy, Paige, and Addie. They are all quiet until Paige speaks up.

“Uh, Happy?”

Happy puts down the screwdriver. “I don’t like that tone. Are you in labor?”

Paige rolls her eyes. “Told you. Not happening yet – I’m not at 40 weeks.”

“Then I’m even more worried about that tone.”

Paige nods to the computer screen. “We’ve got a complaint.”

“A what?”

“Remember that lady whose house you broke into during that Social Security fiasco?”

Happy can’t quite forget it. She snagged her favorite jeans on a nail as she dove out the window. “Toby told me that I should say that ‘I don’t recall’ the incident.”

Paige rolls her eyes. “Don’t listen to him. But she’s really mad at you and she’s suing for destruction of property.”

Happy feels her eyes bug out. “Destruction of – but I didn’t break anything!”

“Apparently you stepped on a doily,” and that’s when Happy starts to see a half smile on Paige’s lips. “And you stepped on her cat. Mitzy needed veterinary attention.”

“Oh,” Happy says. “You’re messing with me.”

Paige shakes her head. “Oh. Oh, no. I’m serious. She’s suing you because you got mud on a doily. She’s going to lose the case, but the US government is giving you a lawyer just in case.”

Happy flops down onto the couch. “Why is this my life?”

“Because you’re a genius who couldn’t help but step on a doily and a cat,” Paige replies.

“I’d be angry at you if I didn’t know how miserable you were in the third trimester,” Happy mumbles. “What do I have to do?”

“Show up at court if you have to, but likely they’re just going to settle out of court,” Paige replies. “At least, that’s what the email says. I’d keep an eye on it.”

Happy groans. “So the case from the next day, where Toby and I went to reinforce the security systems for Target –”

“They’ve forgiven you for falling onto the entire scarf display, and will not be pressing charges,” Paige assures her. “I can’t believe how much accountability we avoid.”

“Yeah, well,” Happy says, getting back to work, “it’s part of our charm.”

Paige sorts through paperwork, filing it for each person who hasn’t done it yet, while Addie curls up on Happy’s lap as she works on a hard drive. Melissa Davis’ computer had completely fried after an incident of breast milk and a fussy baby, and Happy told her she’d try and fix it.

It’s not working all that well.

It’s another hour or so before Paige says, “Hey, Miss Addie?”

Addie pulls her book down from her face in a way that is startlingly like Toby. “Yes, Auntie Paige?”

“Could you –” Paige winces, and Happy thinks she might have seen the baby shift underneath her shirt. It freaks her out – if she hadn’t already been pregnant, she would have decided, right then and there, to never be. “Could you grab me one of my waters from the fridge?”

Addie nods. “On my way, Auntie Pay!” She hops off of Happy’s lap and scurries to the fridge.

“Walking, Addie Grace,” Happy insists. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Not hurting myself,” Addie says, skidding over to Paige. “Hi. I have your water.”

“Thank you, Addie girl.” Paige kisses her on the top of the head. “Would you like to read your book about cars to the baby while I work on filling out some forms?”

Addie’s eyes widen. “I get to read my book to baby cousin?” she asks. She looks like Paige just offered her the world.

“I think you would be an amazing person to read to my baby,” Paige says sincerely.

Happy loses focus on her work when Paige starts making odd faces, and almost wincing.

“You good, Paige?” Happy asks.

Paige waves it off. “Oh, yeah,” she replies. “Just – baby’s wreaking havoc on my uterus.”

“Mommy, what’s a uterus?” Addie asks, setting her book in her lap.

Happy sighs. “Ask your dad.”

“Daddy’s not here,” Addie says. “Do you know?”

“Well, of course I know, Addie –”

Addie’s expression becomes almost a challenge. “So?”

Happy sighs in defeat, while Paige looks over almost gleefully. “It’s an organ in the body that’s where babies grow.”

“Babies grow in bellies,” Addie retorts.

“The uterus is part of – it’s below – it’s basically in your belly.” This is Toby’s turf. Happy feels like a disaster.

Addie, though, looks satisfied. “Okay.” And she returns to reading.

That is, until Paige yelps an hour later.

“Happy,” Paige says, and when Happy turns to look at her, Paige’s expression is of pure shock. “Happy, how did you handle it when you went into labor without Toby?”

Happy blinks. “What?”

Paige pushes herself to stand. “Happy,” she says hesitantly, “my water broke.”

“Oh my god,” Happy says. “Addie, get Auntie Paige’s go bag.”

“Yes, Mommy,” Addie says seriously. She darts off.

“This is too early,” Paige says, and Happy watches the panic flood across Paige’s eyes. “I’m only thirty-five weeks. She’s too early.”

“Whoa, okay, Paige,” Happy says. “Toby’ll be back in minutes, okay? And he’ll take care of you.”

“Your fiancé is not delivering my baby!” Paige says firmly.

Happy stares at her. “Not what I meant, though he is capable of delivering babies,” Happy explains, “but he’s going to take care of all the medical stuff.”

“Call Walter,” Paige says, looking dangerous. “Call him now.”

Just like a cue, Toby walks in with his usual swagger and a tray of coffees in his hands. “Hey, ladies, I brought – ”

“I’m in labor, your fiancé is completely off topic, and Walter and Cabe are in a hearing about Collins.” She points to Toby. “You get your head on straight or I’m going to lose my mind.”

Toby immediately goes into doctor mode. “Paige, I’ll drive you in your car to the hospital,” Toby says. “Thirty five weeks is early, but it’s not dangerously early. You’re both going to be fine.” He looks at Happy. “You take Addie and follow us to the hospital. Get Walter on the phone – now.”

Happy nods. “Why are you telling me what to do?” she asks.

“Because you’re completely spacing out!” Paige says. “Get your kid and call my husband!”

“Right,” Happy says. “Yes.” She whips out the phone as Toby grabs Paige’s go bag from Addie and helps her out of the garage.

“Mommy,” Addie says, her voice tiny.

“Yeah, baby, what’s up?” Happy picks her up, holding her close. She had a lot of scares when Addie was on her way, but Addie wasn’t early – she was late. This feels different.

Addie wraps her arms around Happy’s neck, cuddling like she never does unless she’s scared or sick. “Mommy, Auntie Paige and my baby cousin are gonna be okay, right?”

“Yeah, of course, sweetheart,” Happy says, smoothing her hair out of her face and dialing Walter’s phone number. “Just like Lydia and Laura, remember?”

Addie nods, resting her face on Happy’s shoulder.

“Pick up, pick up,” Happy says. She’s trying to keep it together for Addie’s sake as she buckles her daughter into the car seat. “Come on Walter.”

“Walter O’Brien,” Walter says.

“You have Caller ID, you know it’s me,” Happy says. “Look, Paige is in labor.”

“She’s in what?!” he exclaims. “But it’s too early!”

“Yeah, well, your kid disagrees.” Happy takes a deep breath and listens to Addie sing Circle of Life in the back seat. “Meet us at the hospital. Toby’s taking Paige –”

“Toby is not delivering my baby!” Walter shrieks.

“Jesus, why does everybody keep making that assumption?” Happy replies. “No, idiot, did you miss the part about hospital? Meet us there. We’ll wait.”

“Okay,” Walter says. Happy hears Cabe’s faint voice in the background. “Okay, we’re okay. It’s going to be okay. We have done significant research into the best options to support a healthy birth of our child. It’s sooner than we planned, but we can do this.”

“Sooner?” Happy asks. “I thought you guys said it was planned and – never mind. Walter?” Happy says, looking in her rear view mirror to check on Addie, who is completely entertained by drumming to her own rendition of Be Prepared.

“Yes?”

“Shut up and talk to Cabe,” Happy says. “I’ve got Addie in the car, so I need to stay calm. It’s going to be fine. We’ll see you soon.”

“Uh,” Walter says, clearing his throat. “Right. Yes.” He pauses. “Happy?”

“Yeah?”

There’s another pause. “Were you frightened when you realized you were about to have Addie?”

Happy looks again in the rear view mirror. Addie grins at her, toothy and joyful. “Yeah,” Happy admits. “I was terrified. I think everybody is when they’re about to have their first kid. But,” she sighs, “I couldn’t be happier to have Addie, you know? All the fear was worth it.”

“Okay,” Walter says quietly. “We’ll see you soon.”

Addie makes Happy sing half of the Lion King soundtrack as they make it to the hospital. Long ago Addie insisted that Happy sing the Zazu parts while she sings the Nala and Simba parts. Happy’s a little embarrassed about how good she’s gotten at mimicking the voice.

At Addie’s last, “Oh, I just can’t wait to be king,” they pull into the hospital parking lot. Happy grabs her phone and the Addie bag full of books and toys.

“Alright, Addie,” she says, scrambling to unbuckle Addie. “We are going to a hospital.”

“A hop sit all?” Addie asks. “Hots piddle. Hos-pit-tal.”

“Perfect,” Happy says, settling Addie on her hip and throwing the bag over her opposite shoulder. “And how do we behave in a place like this?”

“I have safe hands and I be quiet and I talk in whispers,” Addie says definitively. “And I don’t talk to strangers.”

“Exactly,” Happy replies. “Let’s get ourselves inside, okay?”

Addie loops her arms around Happy’s neck. “Yeah, yeah, Mama.”

They walk into the hospital and are directed to the lobby of labor and delivery. The rest of the team isn’t there yet – Sylvester is making his way from his meeting, and it looks like Toby is still with Paige.

“Where’s Daddy?” Addie asks, perking up and looking around. “Wanna talk to Daddy.”

“He’ll be here soon, Addie Grace,” Happy assures her. “Hey, why don’t we play some math games?”

“I want music games,” Addie insists. “I sing a song and you guess the song.”

Happy sighs. “Can you sing quietly? We can’t interrupt anyone else.”

“Yes, and there are seven other people in the room,” Addie says without looking around. Happy peeks – Addie’s right. “So I will be super quiet for the other people.”

“Good job, baby.” Happy kisses her nose.

Though brilliant, Addie is predictable. She mostly sings The Little Mermaid, Lion King, Hercules, and Mulan, all of which Happy’s heard and seen enough times to memorize every line, setting, and note from each of the movies. Every once in a while Addie throws in a Queen song or a Nirvana hit, but it’s mostly Disney. Happy’s beginning to think that Addie’s starting to be more like a normal three year old, but she’s not going to hold out any hope. Sylvester shows up fifteen minutes into their song game, playing along with good spirit and even better song guessing.

A little while after that, the door swings open. “Hey!” Walter exclaims, bursting in. “Happy, where are they?”

“Nice job being,” Happy checks her watch, “thirty-eight minutes after us. They’re in room 234.”

Cabe falls into a seat while Walter bolts to the receptionist and gets a direction into Paige’s room.

Two minutes later, Toby walks out.

“Now, I’ve got to say this,” he shakes out a hand, “Paige is a lot less calm and collected when in labor than she is during every other scenario.”

“Pretty sure that can be said of any woman in labor,” Cabe says. “How’s she doing?”

“Seven centimeters dilated, ready to murder Walter for being late, nearly broke my hand.” He shakes his hand out again. “Not the first woman to do that.” He grins over at Happy. “But she’s doing great. Ralph is with her, being way calmer than I was when you were in labor,” he nods over to Happy, “but maybe that’s because he’s the brother and not the dad.”

“What’s labor?” Addie asks, pausing her game with Sylvester.

“It’s when a mommy is about to have her baby,” Toby explains, sitting next to Addie. She scrambles into his lap, settling her head on his chest. “Mommies are very brave and strong, because having a baby isn’t easy.”

“Like how you say Mommy is our superhero?” Addie asks.

Toby looks up and meets Happy’s eyes. “Exactly.”

“Daddy’s being sappy again, Addie Grace,” Happy explains.

“Daddy’s being accurate,” Toby corrects. “Now, Addie. I heard some very pretty singing. Can you show me the game you were playing with Uncle Silly?”

“And with Mommy,” Addie explains. “I sing a song and you guess!”

“How do I win?” Toby asks.

“No winners,” Addie replies. “Just fun.”

It feels like days waiting. The team feels a little weird with Paige, Walter, and Ralph away from them, and the void is pretty obvious. And Happy can never quell her worries when it comes to childbirth. As smoothly as Addie’s birth went, it’s just as easy to fear the possibility of a horrible ending that she’s so used to. She curls up small in her chair, watching the game more than participating.

“Hey, Hap,” Toby says. “Addie is playing a new game with Uncle Silly and Popsy. Let’s go get us some snacks from the café, yeah?”

“Hmm?” Happy asks, sitting up. “What?”

“Snacks,” Toby repeats. “Food. Tasty things. Possibly a meatball sub, because I’m seriously jonesing for one.”

“Okay,” Happy says hesitantly. She walks with Toby down the hallway, letting him take her hand. It comforts her, if she can’t quite explain why she needs comforting.

“Are you okay, bunny?” Toby says, his voice cool and calm.

Happy stops, taking Toby’s other hand. “I – I’m not sure.”

“Come here,” Toby murmurs. Happy steps into his arms and feels the familiar top of the head kiss that Toby so loves giving. “I know you’re worried about Paige and the baby,” he says, arms securely around her, making her feel safe, “and that’s okay. You’re a good friend. They’re going to be perfectly okay.”

“But what if they aren’t?” Happy asks, finally confessing her fear. “Things went so well with Addie. Statistically, there’s a chance –”

“Okay, Sly,” Toby scoffs. “Look. Paige has had a baby before. She and I talked about it in the car ride here – she had some of the same fears as you. But her delivery went Ralph went incredibly well, so there’s a great chance this delivery will be just as successful.” He settles a hand on either one of her shoulders. “She says she’s got baby birthin’ hips.” He grins. “It’s going to go fine.”

“You can say that all you want,” Happy says, chancing a smile, “but it won’t stop me from worrying.”

“That’s just being a mom,” Toby sighs. “Let’s actually get some food, because I think our daughter will eat our hands if we don’t get her something soon.”

“That’s a very good point,” Happy concedes.

Toby gets his desired meatball sub and Happy grabs macaroni and cheese that she can share with Addie, and a few apples and bags of chips for the rest of the team. Addie squeals, “Mommy!” when they get back and darts to wrap her arms around Happy’s legs.

“What?” Toby jokes. “No hugs for Daddy?”

“Mommy has my mac,” Addie explains.

Happy laughs. “Thanks, kid.”

“You’re welome, Mommy,” Addie says very seriously.

It’s been four hours and forty minutes since Paige, Toby, and Ralph made it to the hospital by the time they’ve finished their snack, and Addie’s asleep in Happy’s arms in no time at all. Toby shoves the Addie Bag behind Happy’s back so she can rest her head against Toby’s shoulder.

“How much longer?” Sylvester asks. “Do we have to stay here?”

“Yes, Calculator Man,” Toby replies.

“To be fair, Happy didn’t want anything to do with any of us after she gave birth,” Cabe says pointedly. “And, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Sly’s had any other experience with childbirth.”

“He’s right,” Sly agrees. “I don’t.”

Happy yawns. “He’s got a point, though,” she adds. “How much longer? I’m going to fall asleep soon.”

“Then fall asleep,” Toby says, kissing her temple. “I’ll wake you up when you need to wake up.”

“I’ll take that offer,” Sylvester says. He’s out like a light in a few minutes, half snoring with his head against the back of his seat.

Happy follows soon after.

~

Toby makes good on his promise – he’s waking her up gently in what feels like no time at all. “Happy, up you get,” he says into her ear. “Walter’s out here.”

Happy’s eyes fly open. “Is Paige okay?”

“Paige and our daughter are doing great,” Walter says, beaming. It takes a half second for the words to sink into Happy’s sleep-drunk mind.

“Daughter?” Happy asks. “It’s a girl?”

“Megan Paige O’Brien,” Walter says, tears welling in his eyes. “I’m a dad.”

Toby leaps up and wraps Walter in the biggest bear hug in history. “Congratulations, man,” he says, sounding choked up. “You’re going to love having a daughter.”

Addie stirs during the commotion and opens her eyes. “I have a cousin yet?” she asks, blinking.

Happy nods. “Her name is Megan.”

Addie’s eyes widen. “I got a cousin named Megan?” she says. “I got a girl cousin?”

“You have a girl cousin,” Toby says.

Addie claps like an excited seal, bouncing in the chair. “Can I meet her?”

“Not yet, sweetie,” Happy says. “We’ve got to wait for Auntie Paige to feel better.”

“She’s doing great,” Walter says. “I told her I wasn’t leaving her until she was ready for others to visit to ensure that she had all the privacy she’d like prior to sharing our daughter with friends.” A smile spreads across Walter’s face, something Happy’s never seen before. “Our daughter.”

“And she’s fine?” Toby asks. “No complications?”

Walter nods. “It seems she was simply ready to be come into the world early. I’m sure there are more rational medical explanations, but perhaps she was ready.”

Toby smiles at him. “You’re going to be a great dad.” He claps him on the back, and Happy thinks about just how different Walter’s become in the past few years.

Happy walks in the door with the rest of the team, seeing Paige holding the newest member of their team in her arms. Ralph is hovering next to Paige protectively, his eyes locked on his baby sister.

“Auntie Paige?” Addie says, walking hesitantly up to Paige, like she’s worried she’ll be a distraction.

“Yes, Addie girl?” Paige asks. She looks happy and radiant right now. Happy’s certain she didn’t look anywhere near as put together when Addie was born. She looked like a mess. Then again, her labor was most of a day. Paige’s was a morning and part of an afternoon.

“Auntie Paige, can I please hold Baby Meg?” she asks, holding out her arms.

“Tell you what, Addie,” Happy says, and before she can grab a chair, Toby’s already slid one behind her. Happy nods up at him gratefully. “I’ll have you in my lap, and then Auntie Paige can decide if you can hold Megan.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Paige says, smiling at them. She looks up at Toby. “You okay with making the transfer?”

Toby nods. “If I get a chance to hold her, anything.”

Happy watches the careful way that Paige rests Megan in his arms, and he smiles at her for a moment, introducing himself, before kneeling next to Happy and Addie.

Addie is bouncing and flapping with excitement.

“Let’s see calming breaths, baby girl,” Toby says. “Are your hands safe?”

“Not yet,” Addie replies. She breathes with Toby for a few seconds until the excitement dissipates. “Okay, Daddy. Can I hold Baby Meg now?”

“I think so,” he says.

Toby rests Megan in Addie’s arms, and Happy places her hands on Addie’s just to be sure.

“I’m okay, Mommy,” Addie assures her. “I’m a big girl. I can hold a baby.”

“I know you can,” Happy replies. “I’m just here to make sure everything is extra safe.”

Addie sighs and looks over at Paige. “Mommies always worry.”

“It’s our job,” Paige insists. “I still worry about Ralph.”

Addie frowns. “That’s silly. He’s a big kid. No worries for him.”

Paige laughs. “Well, he’ll be going away to college soon, so I’ll definitely be worrying then.”

Addie looks up at Happy. “Mommy, do you worry about me?”

“All the time,” Happy replies. She and Toby decided everything was truthful at a very early stage in Addie’s life. This moment is no different.

Addie looks at Toby. “You worry?” she asks.

“It’s what parents do,” Toby replies. “As your daddy, my job is to worry.”

“That’s ridic-liss,” Addie says, shaking her head as she looks down at Megan.

The entire room of adults laughs while Addie just holds Megan and smiles down at her.

“Auntie Paige, I love her,” Addie says. “She’s my favorite.”

“I thought I was your favorite,” Cabe jokes, grinning at her.

“You’re my favorite Popsy,” Addie corrects. “She’s my favorite baby cousin.”

“What about me?” Ralph jokes.

“You’re not a baby,” Addie says definitively. “She’s a baby.” She looks down at Megan, who looks serene for a tiny human who was recently given birth to. “She’s the best.”

“I think we can all agree with that,” Paige says. Her expression is incredibly lovestruck as she gazes at Addie and Megan. “Addie, I’m so glad you love your cousin this much.”

Addie cuddles Megan with more care and gentleness than Happy’s seen her do anything else in her short life. “She’s the most important,” Addie pronounces. “I always love her.”

~

Addie falls asleep in the car ride back, and Toby seems to be fighting the urge as well.

“Can you believe that?” Toby mumbles, his head resting against the car window. “Walter O’Brien. A dad.”

“Can you believe we’re parents?” Happy replies. “Because that’s just as weird to me.”

“We’ve had three and a half years to get used to that one,” Toby retorts. “This whole Walter as a dad to a daughter thing is brand new and incredibly weird.”

“A baby girl,” Happy sighs. “I don’t think Addie could be happier right now.”

“I know,” Toby replies. “She’s so in love with the baby already. And I love that they named her Megan,” he turns to Happy with a smile. “I bet she’ll have the same spunkiness as the other Megan O’Brien.”

Happy nods. “Between Addie and Baby Meg, we’re going to be overrun by spunkiness within the next five years.”

“Baby Meg?” Toby says, raising an eyebrow at Happy.

“I like Addie’s name for her,” Happy says simply. “It’s cute.”

“Baby Meg,” Toby repeats. “She’s going to have that name her whole life, isn’t she?”

“Without a doubt,” Happy replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby Meg was not a planned part of this story, but she sort of wrote her way in. Yay babies!


	74. Addie, 3 years 11 months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Meg is 3 months old, Addie's almost four. By that count, Happy and Toby are the least exhausted, so they take both kids for the night.

The first three months of Baby Meg’s life are hectic for the whole team. The prematurity, even as minor as it was, definitely took a toll on both mom and baby. Megan is colicky, doesn’t love sleeping, and spits up about half of what she takes in. Paige’s exhaustion is written across her face all day, but gets obscured when Megan smiles or coos, when Walter talks to Megan about cases and technology and the world, when Toby holds Addie in one arm and Megan in the other, calling them his workouts.

And Happy wants to help, and doesn’t know how. She’s done this parenting thing once, and it’s because of sheer dumb luck that she did it right at all.

But Megan calms when Addie sings to her or plays music, and Paige lets Happy feed Megan formula when it’s all she’ll take, and Megan seems to like Happy. So maybe she’s good at this whole kids thing after all.

It’s a dreary, smoggy day in Los Angeles when they’re all gathered in the garage after Cooper called them in to do a ship location in the northern Pacific that “nobody else could do.”

They probably could. The Scorpion team was probably just cheaper.

When they says goodbye to Cooper, Paige yawns so broadly that Happy briefly worries about her jaw.

“Are you okay?” she asks. “You look tired.”

Paige waves it off, but in that moment Megan starts wailing. “She’s just in a clingy stage,” Paige replies. “And I’m the only one who can fix it.” She picks Megan up and rests her against her shoulder, bouncing the baby until she soothes. “See? Daddy can’t do it. Brother can’t do it. Only Mom.”

“That’s because babies are silly,” Addie says sagely. Then she looks at Happy. “Mommy,” she says, “I have a great idea.”

“Your last great idea was eating soap because it was the same pink as cotton candy, Addie Grace,” Happy says meaningfully.

“No, Mommy, this one’s good, I promise,” she insists. “We should babysit.”

“We should?”

Addie nods emphatically. “I want to play with baby Megan,” she says. “Baby Megan is my favorite.”

“She is?”

Addie nods. “Don’t tell Daddy.”

Happy holds back a laugh. “I won’t.”

“We should babysit!” Addie says, yanking on Happy’s pants. “Mommy, please? Mommy, please?”

Happy looks over at Paige. “Would you want to do that?” she asks.

“For the love of god, yes,” Paige says, bouncing Megan, looking relieved. “Walter’s been out of his mind whenever she’s out of control. He doesn’t dislike parenting, I think. I just think he doesn’t know how to handle not being good at something.”

“Uncle Walter is a bad daddy?” Addie asks, looking confused.

“Not bad,” Paige corrects. “It’s just a really tough job, and Uncle Walter is used to being good at everything.”

“Well,” says Addie, and Happy is suddenly worried about what’s about to come out of her mouth, “Uncle Walter is also bad at keeping secrets.”

Happy turns to Addie. “What?”

“He told me not to say what Auntie Paige’s birthday present is,” Addie replies. “E-sept I wasn’t supposed to tell you that I knew. Oops.”

“Just don’t tell me anything else, Addie girl,” Paige says, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. “I love the idea of you babysitting. You’re such a great cousin.”

Addie smiles more widely than Happy’s seen in ages. “I love being a cousin,” Addie replies. “My job is to take care of my Baby Meg.”

“And you do an amazing job of it,” Paige says. She leans down and wraps an arm around Addie’s shoulders, but it’s just enough of a shift that it sets Megan into a crying jag.

“And, here we go again,” Paige sighs.

“Let me take her,” Happy blurts. “Just for a minute. You and Addie can have some time together. I’ll walk around with Baby Meg for a bit.”

Paige looks confused, but she nods. “Okay. Thank you.” She settles Meg into Happy’s arms and flops down on the couch. Addie immediately sits next to her, propping a book up in front of herself.

“I read to you, Auntie Paige,” Addie says. “It’s okay. You can nap.”

With a still-wailing Meg, Happy walks out to the kitchen, swaying back and forth in the way that Addie loved. It always felt a little too fast, but it calmed Addie then and it calms Megan now. The sobs turn into sniffles, which turn into little babbles that remind Happy of the coos that Addie used to make. She misses this age – when they’re small and everything is still fascinating. At this point, Addie seems to be taking in things so fast that they have to give her new and exciting activities before she gets bored. Which isn’t very long at all.

And then Megan yanks on Happy’s hair, and she’s less nostalgic.

“Okay, kiddo,” Happy says with a wince, “let go of my hair, please, now.” She manages to untangle her hair from Megan’s tiny fingers. But Megan looks up at her with this mildly annoyed, inquisitive expression. And Happy is absolutely floored to realize that the look is a spitting image of Walter.

“Holy hell. Don’t be your dad,” Happy says firmly. “Whatever you do, Meg, don’t be the next Walter O’Brien.”

Happy circles the place, then finally walks with Megan back into the living room, where Paige is out cold on the couch and Addie is still reading perfectly, legs folded underneath her primly.

“Hello, Mommy,” Addie says, sounding years older than she is. “Auntie Paige is asleep. But I think my stories helped.”

“I’m sure they did,” Happy agrees. “Would you like to do tummy time with Baby Meg?”

Addie nods, setting the book down gently on the coffee table. “Come on, Baby Meg. It’s tummy time. We can roll today!”

Happy watches the two of them, Addie patient as can be as she shows Meg how to roll over, and Megan’s trying her best to mirror the motion.

“You’re a great cousin, Addie,” Happy says quietly. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Proud of you, too, Mommy,” Addie says.

Happy laughs. Addie thinks it’s like saying “I love you”, replying like she does every time somebody compliments her or says something nice to her. “Thanks, Addie.”

Paige snores a little bit on the couch, shifting. She can’t be comfortable, so Happy helps her lay down on the couch and drapes a blanket over her.

“Let’s go do some rolling over in the Meg and Addie space, okay?” Happy suggests.

Addie nods. “Quiet time for your mommy, Baby Meg.”

~

“You volunteered us for what?” Toby asks, looking baffled. He’s halfway through a book and they’re halfway through the day, Happy only remembering to remind him of their babysitting plans once Paige texts her to confirm.

“Just for one night,” Happy says. “Come on, Walter and Paige need a break.”

“I’m not objecting,” Toby replies. “I’m just delighted that you offered. I was worried that you weren’t going to want to hang out with Megan, but,” he grins, “looks like I was wrong.”

“You are wrong often,” Happy says. “This is just one of those times.”

“Romantic,” Toby says, rolling his eyes. “So they’re dropping Megan off…?”

“This afternoon, at about four,” Happy explains.

“And you didn’t tell me last night?”

Happy grins. “We were very busy last night.”

Toby’s eyes flicker down to Happy’s lips. “Oh, yeah? I don’t seem to recall.” He steps close to her. “You’re going to have to remind me.”

Happy pulls Toby and then tosses him onto the bed. “Oh, I’ll remind you.”

She straddles his hips and leans down, kissing Toby as languidly as she can. She swallows a whimper in the back of his throat and threads her fingers through his hair. Toby’s hands slide up her back, setting her skin on fire with each touch.

“The memory’s coming back,” Toby laughs. “I think it had something to do with –”

Ninety seconds. They get ninety seconds before they hear, “Mommy! Daddy! I am awake and I am ready for Baby Meg time!”

Happy scrambles off of Toby. “Damn, why doesn’t nap time last longer than that?”

Addie bounds into their bedroom and dives into their bed, flopping on top of Toby. He groans when she lands on his stomach.

“Gentle, Addie,” Toby begs. “You’re getting too big and it hurts.”

“Sorry, Daddy,” Addie says. Happy watches as she hugs Toby gently, resting her head on his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby girl.”

“I’m not a baby,” Addie says. “I’m a big girl.”

“Yes, you are, but you’re also my baby girl,” Toby says.

“Baby Meg is a baby,” Addie corrects. “I am in preschool.”

“You are,” Happy says. She sends a look to Toby, because it’s kind of ridiculous to see him argue with a kid who isn’t even four years old yet.

They get up and tidy up a little bit, just in time for a knock to ring on the door.

“I got it!” Addie exclaims, bolting toward the door. She pulls it open. “Baby Meg is here!”

“So are Auntie Paige and Uncle Walter,” Toby says, glancing at the adults. “Sorry. She kind of has a one track mind.”

“That’s okay,” Paige says, hauling the car seat into the room. “So do we. It’s understandable with a kid like Megan.”

Addie starts bouncing, a little unsafely, as Paige hauls the baby carrier in with Walter right behind her.

“With Ralph in the dorms now I think I underestimated how much I’d miss his help,” Paige says, laughing.

“What are your plans?” Toby asks, taking the carrier. Megan starts cooing when she sees Toby, wiggling her little arms as best she can all strapped in.

“Dinner and a movie,” Walter says. “And perhaps Paige won’t fall asleep this time.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you consider a thirteen episode series on the entire universe a comedy,” Paige replies. “Neil DeGrasse Tyson has a soothing voice. Especially when your daughter kept me up all night.”

“Fair point,” Walter says, shrugging.

“When are we going to meet him?” Toby asks, sounding just nonchalant enough that, to untrained ears, he would seem hardly interested. Happy knows better, though.

“Meet who?” Paige asks, and Happy has to get in there before it goes overboard.

She rolls her eyes. “Toby, get over your crush on Neil DeGrasse Tyson. It’s never going to happen.”

“He is amazing and I love him,” Toby says firmly.

Happy frowns. “Are you going to leave me for an astrophysicist?”

Toby grins at her. “No promises.”

She swats his arm and they say goodbye to Paige and Walter, and Megan, who had been content as Addie played with her, starts fussing.

“I suddenly forget all aspects of parenting an infant,” Toby says, looking baffled. “What did we do at this point?”

Happy gets Megan out of the car seat and bounces her.

“I know, logically, that the bouncing action is soothing and safe,” Toby says, “but is it weird that I still get nervous?”

“Yes,” Happy replies. “Especially since you’re the doctor in this house.”

Addie pulls on Happy’s jeans. “Mommy, I play tummy time with Baby Meg?”

“Sure,” Happy says, “let’s get you –” she pauses. “We aren’t baby proofed. We’re three year old who doesn’t put small objects in her mouth but instead does experiments in the toilet proofed, but not baby proofed.”

“Correct,” Toby says, “but Megan’s three months old. Even Walter O’Brien’s kid isn’t advanced enough to crawl that young.”

Happy’s wary. “I wouldn’t bet on it.”

They set up a little space in the living room with blankets and stuffed toys, and Addie watches Megan as she tries to push her little body up and over. She can’t make it, of course, but she’s trying her best, making frustrated little grunts when it doesn’t quite work.

Happy’s heart does a little flutter when Addie gently offers her blankie to Megan for a few minutes.

“Wait, no!” Addie says, pulling the blankie away. “Not for food! Bad Meg!”

Megan starts crying and flailing when Addie takes the blanket away.

“Whoa, hey,” Toby says, cradling Megan in his arms. “None of that, Addie. That was not okay.”

“She was eating blankie!” Addie replies, her voice shrill as she holds her blankie almost as carefully as Toby holds Megan. “Baby Meg cannot play with blankie. She eated it!”

“Ate it,” Happy automatically corrects, and regrets it when Addie’s eyes widen.

“She really ate blankie?” And that’s when the waterworks start for Addie, who barrels into Happy’s lap with miserable tears. “No eating my blankie!” she wails.

“She didn’t,” Happy says, trying to calm Addie enough to use logic, but that doesn’t seem to be working. “Addie, stop, come on.”

“Addie!” Toby says, his voice jovial for absolutely no reason. “Are you ready for dinner?”

“No dinner!” Addie wails, getting snot and tears all over Happy’s shoulder. “Blankie got eated!”

This time Happy doesn’t correct her.

“Let’s have macaroni and cheese and peas for dinner!” Toby continues, with the same overly excited tone. “Except not Baby Meg.”

The tears stop. “Baby Meg not get mac and cheese and peas?”

“Baby Meg doesn’t get mac and cheese and peas for dinner,” Toby says. “She’s too little.”

“So it’s special for me?” Addie asks, and Happy does not miss how suddenly things grow positive again.

Toby nods. “Yup.”

“Baby Meg,” Addie says, backtracking to put her blankie in the safe haven of Happy’s arms before going over to the baby, “no more eating my blankie. But I’m sorry you can’t eat mac and cheese and peas. That is good food.”

“When she’s older,” Toby says, gentle in tone.

Addie nods. “When you are a big girl like me.”

Happy gives Megan a bottle when Toby and Addie sing James Taylor while making dinner, swaying to the tune. She watches Megan’s eyes grow heavy with each passing moment, and she’s pretty sure she’s about to go down for, if not the night, a few hours.

“Mommy,” Addie says, “is Baby Meg asleep?”

Happy shakes her head. “Not yet,” she tells her, “but soon.”

Addie nods. “That’s good. I don’t want her sad because no mac and cheese and peas.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, baby girl,” Toby says, kissing the top of Addie’s head.

Addie smiles up at him. “Not a baby, Daddy,” she insists.

“You’re always my baby,” he insists. “Now go sit in your big girl chair, because it’s time for dinner.”

Toby serves the three of them and Happy eats with Megan cradled in one arm, having serious flashbacks to Addie’s infancy. The weight of a sleeping infant brings back the heartache, exhaustion, and love of early parenthood, and Happy starts to realize she wants to have another kid, without the pregnancy part. That was too much to handle for her.

But, this – the tiny babies, the little ones holding her hand while they sleep. This is wonderful.

She finds herself rocking gently, neglecting her dinner.

“You good, Happy?” Toby asks. His expression is soft, sweet, angled at Megan.

Happy nods. “Just forgot how much I loved this part,” she says. “Sometimes I forget that there were such great moments alongside the hard stuff.”

“You know what’s hard?” Addie says through a mouthful of mac and cheese and peas.

“Chew and swallow, sweetie, or you’ll choke on your dinner,” Toby says, wiping some cheese from her face.

She bats his hand away. “I’m okay,” she insists. “Daddy, you know what’s hard?”

“What, Addie?” Happy laughs.

Addie sighs like an overworked business woman. “The monkey bars.”

~

Addie and Toby fall asleep on the couch an hour and a half later after watching Winnie the Pooh and part of Anastasia, while Megan has woken up in Happy’s arms, a little fussy even as Happy walks around with her.

There’s a knock on the door, and Toby sits up straight, looking like a deer in the headlights.

“Sorry,” he says, shaking himself out of the surprise. “Thought – thought somebody broke in.” The wild-eyed look calms itself, and he reverts back to his normal smile. “Every once in a while I have a dream he comes back, and…”

He doesn’t have to finish the sentence. Happy’s had the same dream about the same person.

She checks the peep hole anyway, just to confirm it’s Paige and Walter.

Toby comes in a few minutes later.

“Addie’s out like a light,” he says, shaking his head. “Easiest she’s gone down in a while.”

“Wish the same could be said for ours,” Paige says, nodding over to Megan, whose eyes lit up the moment she saw her mother.

“Well, she’s been up for a couple minutes – I bet she’ll fall asleep in the car,” Happy says. “You guys need anything? Some coffee?”

“Oh, god no,” Paige says, waving it off. “The last thing I need is caffeine infused into my breast milk for Megan to sleep even less than she already does.”

They wave goodbye to Paige, Walter, and Megan, and it’s only then that Happy realizes how late it is. Even so, she’s not as tired as she expected.

She walks into Addie’s room and checks on her, but there’s nothing to check on. She’s serene, calm. She looks so big and grown up after holding Megan. It’s strange.

“Thinking about having another one?” Toby asks, pulling Happy close as Addie sleeps peacefully in her toddler bed. The purple blanket is tangled in her fingertips as she sleeps, which is why Happy has to duck out from under Toby’s arm when she starts laughing, running into their room.

“What?!” Toby asks. “No more kids?”

“I can’t be pregnant ever again,” Happy says firmly. “Never. That was the most terrifying seven months of my life. If we did it on purpose, I’d know from day one.” She shakes her head. “Nine months of that? Nope. Never again.”

Toby shrugs. “That’s not the only way to have a kid.” He loops his arms around her waist. “I was more thinking adoption.”

Happy pauses. “You were?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “I mean, there are so many kids in the foster system who would be amazing older siblings.” He kisses her. “We could take in somebody who we know would be an awesome big sister or brother to Addie.”

“Or we could get a younger sibling,” Happy adds. “Adopt a little baby, since we both just proved how much we love infants.”

“They’re so great, aren’t they?” Toby says, beaming. “Addie’s so great with Megan – she would be such an amazing big sister.”

“Do you think she would like that?” Happy asks. “Because she seems pretty content getting all the attention.”

“Well, that’s the other thing,” Toby says. “We’ll get her socializing early.”

“Okay, that was your excuse for doing preschool,” Happy laughs.

“Fine, more socializing,” Toby says. “And besides,” he adds, “I’d love to have a son.”

Happy looks at him. “You’re not messing with me, are you?”

He shakes his head. “I’m down if you are.”

She smiles. “Let’s get married first,” she decides. “Then we can talk about adding more kids. Especially since,” she looks around the apartment, “we will not make Addie share a room with anybody. We’d need a bigger apartment. Especially since we definitely adopt a boy.”

“We would?” Toby asks, looking dumbfounded. “I mean, awesome. But definitely?”

Happy shrugs. “Yeah,” she decides. “I mean, we have our musical prodigy girl. Let’s have a musical prodigy boy.”

“Or a psych prodigy,” Toby adds. “That’s a possibility.”

“No kid of ours is wasting their life in med school,” Happy says, grabbing a handful of Toby’s shirt and pulling him backward toward the bed. “We’ve already got one big nerd in this house.”

“I’m not a nerd!” he argues.

“It’s okay,” Happy says, letting her smile grow dirty and meaningful. “I’ve got a thing for nerds.”

“You’re in your mid-thirties and you’re still so hot,” Toby says, looking her up and down. “That just doesn’t seem fair.”

“Not your fault you’re old,” Happy says, grinning at him.

“I’m not old!” Toby exclaims. “I’m years away from forty!”

Happy rolls her eyes. “Though, you are a hot dad.”

“I am?”

Happy shrugs. “Wouldn’t be dragging you into bed if you weren’t.”


	75. Addie, 4 years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Addie's fourth birthday, and they've got a lot more to do than Happy expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about not posting on Friday - a couple of my students were sick and, thus, it hit me too. It was also sort of hard to finish this chapter as this fic is nearly done! There will be one more chapter after this one, and then other one-off pieces (those will be from Toby's point of view) in the same universe, but the baby fic is coming to an end. Whew! It's kind of crazy to think about it. I hope you enjoy!

Happy wakes up to Addie saying “Mommy, it’s my birthday,” and snuggling up to her.

“When’d you get here?” Happy asks, trying not to feel too confused.

Addie throws her arms around Happy’s waist. “When it was dark. But then I went to sleep and now we are awake!”

“Yes, we are,” Happy replies. “Go wake Dad up.”

Addie looks confused. “Why?”

Happy shrugs. “Because it’s your birthday.”

Somehow, that rationale seems to work with Addie, who jumps on top of Toby in a way Happy was not expecting.

“Not like that,” Happy groans. She flops down onto the pillow, preparing herself for the slight whining Toby’s going to start.

Toby wakes up with a high pitched whine. “Addie, we’ve talked about this.”

“Mommy told me to!” Addie replies, gleeful.

Happy can feel the way Toby’s glaring at her. “Sorry,” she mutters, muffled by the pillow.

“Yeah, yeah,” Toby says.

“Are you rolling your eyes?” Happy asks.

“Yup.”

Happy rolls over, but neither of them can be annoyed at all when they get a look at how excited Addie is.

“Daddy, it’s my birthday!” Addie exclaims. “I’m four.”

“You are,” Toby replies. “Are you excited for your birthday?”

Addie nods. “I get Auntie Paige’s mac and cheese for lunch, and then on Sunday I have my birthday party!”

Toby gives Happy a look, which she nods to. He’s asking if she’s finalized the birthday party. She has – but only as of last night at one in the morning after waking up from forgetting it.

Addie scrambles to her feet. “I get to bounce!”

“Not on the bed!” Happy says, a second too late. Addie jumps up and lands on Happy’s arm.

“Karma,” Toby says. “In serious mode, are you okay?”

Happy’s eyes are watering, but Addie looks worried and is repeatedly apologizing, so she’s nodding. “Yeah, I’m good,” she replies. “I’m totally fine.”

Addie gently rests back onto the bed, kissing Happy’s arm. “Mommy?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“I still get my presents, right?”

Happy laughs. “Yeah, of course, kiddo.”

Addie picks two gifts to open, while the smallest and most important one is held by Toby as he rocks back and forth, looking more excited than Addie as she opens up the three pack Mulan movie set.

“All three?!” Addie exclaims. “The new one, too?” She stares at it. “Mommy, I love this movie.”

“I know you do,” Happy says, kissing Addie on the top of the head.

Addie hugs the three pack movie set. “This is the best present.”

“You still have another you can open,” Toby says, nodding to the wrapped gift next to her.

“What’s that?” Addie asks. She pulls the box toward her. “Is this a helper for Wookie?”

“You could think of it that way,” Toby says.

Happy watches as Addie opens up the box to reveal a violin. Addie makes a startled squeak.

“Another wookawailing!” she exclaims.

“Actually, it’s a violin,” Toby tries to explain, “it works a little –”

“I name her Wookie 2,” Addie decides. “I will use her when my first Wookie needs a break.”

“We’ll go over that later,” Happy decides. She nods to Toby. “You want to…?”

He nods, looking like he’s about to jump out of his skin. “Hey, Addie, I’ve got another question for you.”

Addie looks up. “Yeah?”

He holds out a piece of paper. “Can you read this for me?”

“A-apple-cate-i-on for a-dop-…Adoption.” She frowns. “Apple-cation for adoption.”

“Application,” Happy says gently. “Do you know what adoption is?”

Addie nods. “Adoption is like Martin in my class. His mommy and daddy brought him from far away to live here.”

Happy nods. “We are looking into maybe adopting you a brother.”

Addie’s quiet for a moment, long enough for Happy to worry that it was only a sister that Addie would want, that a brother wouldn’t be okay with her.

Instead, Addie smiles. “A big brother like Megan has Ralph?” she asks.

Toby nods and sits next to her. “It would be after the wedding, though, baby girl,” Toby explains. “And it’s a long process. We’ll have to get a new house, meet new people who might want to be part of our family, go through interviews –”

“I get a big brother?” Addie asks, eyes wide.

Happy nods. “We wanted to check if you wanted to, first.”

Addie immediately bursts into tears.

“Whoa, baby girl, calm down,” Toby says, gathering Addie in his arms. “If this isn’t okay with you, if you’re scared, we can talk about it, okay?”

“I’m just so happy,” Addie wails. “I always wanted a brother or a sister!”

“I don’t think we’ve ever seen our child happy cry like this,” Happy says. “It’s a little concerning.”

Addie pops her head up. “Big brother or little brother?”

Toby shrugs. “We’ll have to see – things like this, we may not have too much control over it.”

Addie sighs. “This is better than my wookawailing.”

Toby kisses her forehead. “We’re so glad you think that way, baby girl.”

~

They get to the garage, less than five minutes late this time, after assuring Addie that she can’t tell anybody about this, at least not yet.

“I know,” Addie tells them. “It’s an important quiet secret.”

“Exactly,” Happy replies.

Happy starts filling out reports and, with her other hand, googles cheap wedding dresses online. She’s got to get this done eventually. At this point she’s considering just going to Target – dress shopping kind of sucks.

“What are you looking at?” Paige asks, yawning. “Getting cold feet over your wedding dress choice?”

“Haven’t gotten my dress yet,” Happy replies, and immediately she realizes that it was not the right thing to say.

“You haven’t gotten a dress yet?!” Paige shrieks, looking horrified. It’s the most awake she’s looked in weeks, which could be considered a positive, but, at the same time, kind of scares Happy. “Happy, this is a problem.”

“I’ve been planning Addie’s trampoline birthday and we’ve had all these reports to fill out,” Happy gestures to her desk, which is more paper and less machines. “Before that, Meg came, and before that we were in Disney World and before that we weren’t even engaged.” She shrugs. “It all happened kind of fast.”

Paige rolls her eyes. “You’ve had eight months.”

“It’s been a busy eight months!” Happy argues. “Look, between the three kids, this stupid job, and everything we’ve been doing to try to get Addie’s room redone in time for her birthday, I haven’t had the time.”

Paige eyes her. “You got Addie a flower girl dress, though, right?”

Happy pauses. “Uh-oh.”

“Walter!” Paige shouts across the garage. Simultaneously, Addie and Megan wake up. “Oh, crap.”

“What’s crap, Mommy?” Addie asks, peeking up over the top of the couch.

“Don’t worry about it,” Happy assures her. “Paige!”

“We’re getting you a dress today,” Paige says. “Mainly because, if we don’t, you’re going to completely space getting a dress until the day of.”

“I’ll buy a sundress from, what, TJ Maxx,” Happy replies. “We’ll deal.”

Paige’s expression makes Happy regret her words. “You’re hopeless. You can’t wear a sundress for a December wedding!”

“It’s LA!”

Without another word Paige walks over to Addie. “Hey, Addie girl, what would you say to a girl’s day for your birthday?”

“Instead of my party?” Addie asks, looking disappointed.

“Nope,” Paige replies, picking Megan up and soothing her whimpers, “for today. You still get your party on Sunday.”

“Doing what?” Addie asks.

Paige throws a grin over to Happy. “Getting Mom’s wedding dress and your flower girl dress.”

Addie goes silent, eyes as wide as dinner plates. “Wedding dress?” she asks reverently.

Paige nods. “What do you say?”

Addie gets to her feet and sprints to Happy. “Mommy, we gotta,” she says. “We gotta go.”

“If you don’t have a dress, your kid is going to lose her mind,” Toby says, not even looking up from the video he’s analyzing. “I’d be amazed by you in whatever you wear, but Addie wants you in a princess dress.”

“All the dresses,” Addie confirms.

Happy sighs, tasting defeat. She goes to her last resort. “Cabe, Walter, we’ve got to have a case today, right?”

“Nope,” Cabe says, and his grin is so wide that it’s damned obvious that he knows exactly what he’s doing. “Nothing on the schedule. You are free.”

“I think it would be good for you to go as a group and have some time together,” Walter says, and Happy has honestly never felt so betrayed in her life.

Addie starts bouncing. “We’re going, right?”

“We’re going,” Happy concedes.

They get Megan’s car seat set up in Happy’s soccer mom car, and off they go.

“Paige, I don’t even know where I’m driving,” Happy whines, pulling out of the drive way.

“I’ll give you the directions, don’t worry,” Paige says, looking unreasonably sunny.

“Don’t worry Mommy,” Addie parrots back.

It’s an hour on the highway with Megan chewing on her own bright pink blankie, Addie insisting on playing The Little Mermaid and making Happy sing the Sebastian parts.

“And Auntie Paige can be Ursula!” Addie says.

“I don’t know if I should be offended or glad I’m not the crab,” Paige says.

“The crab is Mommy’s part, because she can’t sing,” Addie assures her. “Ursula is a good singer, like you.”

That’s enough to make all of them stop talking and sing when Addie tells them to.

~

“God, you’re lucky you’ll fit into sample sizes,” Paige mutters. She walks into the salon. “Hello!”

The receptionist gives her a look of complete disbelief. “Do you have an appointment?”

“No, actually, but –”

“Not without an appointment,” the receptionist says, deadpan.

Addie pouts. “No dress today?” she asks Happy quietly.

“Do we turn Puppy Dog Eyes on the receptionist?” Happy mutters to Paige.

Paige leans down and picks Megan up out of her stroller. She’s just woken up, big brown eyes taking in everything.

“Oh, my goodness!” the receptionist exclaims. “She’s beautiful! How old?”

“Four and a half months,” Paige says. Megan coos and smiles, sending the receptionist into oohs and ahhs.

“Is she going to be a flower girl?” the receptionist asks.

Paige nods, looking down to Addie. “And so is this one.”

Addie jumps up and down, tutu fluffing up everywhere and her sneakers squeaking on the hardwood floors. “Hi! I’m the biggest flower girl.”

“Addie, careful with the jumping – let me.” Happy settles Addie on her hip. “Hi. I’m getting married in two months and my friend is mad that I don’t have a dress yet.”

The receptionist’s eyes widen. “Two – two months?”

Happy nods. “I’m sure I’ll find something.”

The receptionist tuts at her. “You’re lucky you’ll fit into the sample sizes.”

“That’s what I said,” Paige laughs.

She checks the time. “We have a half hour appointment open in two hours,” she tells them. “Last minute cancellation – never like to see those – but you’re the only person on the wait list.” But she still seems hesitant.

“What’s your name?” Addie asks, grinning at the receptionist.

“I’m Mrs. Marin,” the receptionist replies. “Thank you for asking.”

Addie beams at her. “I like your hair, Mrs. Marin.” And Happy’s damned glad she’s got such a charmer.

“We’ll get you in,” Mrs. Marin says, the smile on her lips looking permanent. “Come back at 1:30, okay?”

Happy nods. “Thank you, very much.”

Addie blinks. “It’s lunch time, Mommy.”

“Yes it is.” Happy sets Addie down next to Megan’s stroller, where Paige is strapping her in.

“No Auntie Paige mac and cheese?” She pouts. “On my birthday?”

Happy looks at Paige in a panic, hoping for some support. Unfortunately, though, it looks like Paige had missed this fact as well.

“Actually, Addie girl,” Paige says, kneeling down to her level, “we’re going to do something else for lunch! Anything you want.”

Addie considers it as they walk out of the bridal shop. “I want Auntie Paige’s mac and cheese.” It’s not demanding, not insistent. It’s very calm, and almost sad. Happy feels like the worst mom on the planet.

“What’s your second favorite?” Paige asks, voice unsteady.

Addie is quiet as she climbs into her car seat. And then she says, “Taco Bell.”

“What about other Mexican food?” Happy asks. She looks over to Paige, who looks confused.

Addie shakes her head. “Taco Bell has the best tacos.”

“Don’t tell anybody else that,” Happy says. “But, if you want,” she sighs, “we will go to Taco Bell.”

“And then ice cream,” Addie says, buckling the chest part. “Taco Bell and then ice cream, yes?”

Happy wants to argue, wants to insist on something a little fancier than fast food and ice cream, but, then again, it’s Addie’s birthday. “Yeah, of course, sweetheart. Anything you want.”

They get Taco Bell and then drive for way too long to find a parking spot in front of the ice cream place Addie deemed “The spot!” and, by the time they finish, they have just enough time to get back to the bridal shop.

When they walk inside, Mrs. Marin guides them to a waiting room and tells them, “Your consultant will be here soon.”

“This isn’t going to be like your dress appointment, is it?” Happy asks warily.

Paige shakes her head. “No. This isn’t as absurdly fancy as the one my mom made us go to. It should be pretty quick.” She smiles. “Knowing you, you’ll try on one dress and be done. Addie, on the other hand…”

“I pick quick,” Addie assures them. “I know what my dress will be.”

“And I’ve already got Meg’s dress,” Paige says. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Definitely not,” Happy says. “Clearly, I’ve got no idea what I’m doing here.”

The consultant, a cheery older woman named Christa, greets them within a minute.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” she says with a smile. “Who is our bride?”

“That’s me,” Happy says. “Uh, I’m not exactly the super fancy dress type. Got anything cheap and my size?”

Christa smiles. “Why don’t we go take a quick look? When’s the wedding?”

“December.”

“December – of next year?” Christa asks warily.

Happy shakes her head. “Two months from now.”

Christa sighs. “It’s a good thing you’ll fit into sample sizes.”

“Everybody keeps saying that today,” Addie says, shaking her head. “I don’t even want a sample dress! I want a real dress.”

“We’ll get your mom, I’m guessing –” Happy nods to Christa “ – a great, real dress.”

“Me too?” Addie asks. “I’m flower girl.”

“Certainly,” Christa responds. “Are we ready to go look? We’ll get Mom’s, then –”

“I’m Addie.”

“Then Addie’s dress,” Christa says. And then she notices Addie’s big pout. “Or maybe…”

“If it’s okay, I’ll go with her to look for dresses,” Paige says. “I think she has an idea of what she wants.”

Christa nods. “That works for me.”

Addie, Paige, and Meg are waiting in the dressing room when Happy comes back with Christa and the only two choices in the whole place that really caught Happy’s eye. One is short with beading across the whole thing with long sleeves, and the other has cap sleeves and what Christa called a tea length, with tulle at the bottom. It’s a little bit like what Happy guessed Addie might like.

“Those are,” Paige looks at them, “very different.”

“They’re the only ones I liked,” Happy replies.

“Can we try on now?” Addie asks, practically bouncing.

“Yes, we can,” Christa says, before Happy can apologize for Addie being so demanding. “Aren’t you the cutest?”

Addie goes through only two dresses before she picks the second. It has long, sheer sleeves, buttons up the back, and a big puffy skirt.

“Mommy,” Addie says, “look! It’s perfect.”

“You look great, Addie,” Paige says. Megan coos in response.

“It’s pretty great,” Happy adds. And then she checks the price tag – nowhere near the absurd cost of the previous flower girl dress, but still kind of hefty. “Is that your choice?”

Addie nods. “Yes, please! Now your turn.”

Happy ends up shuffled into the dressing room on her own, Addie with Paige and Megan. She tries the tea length dress first.

“You look wonderful,” Christa says. And Happy feels nice, but wants to show it to Addie before she makes a choice.

Happy steps out to see Addie, Paige, and Megan, ready to see their reactions before she has her own. She’s glad she did – Addie wrinkles her nose.

“No?” Happy asks.

“Spin,” Addie instructs. Happy follows her instructions. Addie then shakes her head, looking confused. “No, Mommy. It’s not you.”

Paige shakes her head. “It looks good, but it doesn’t quite – it’s not really a Happy Quinn dress. More of an Addie dress.”

“Got it,” Happy replies.

She’s a little anxious as she starts into the next dress – if it doesn’t work, she doesn’t know what she’s going to do. She’s okay with any dress, but this is more for Addie, if she’s being honest. She wants Addie to like the dress – Happy will work with anything.

And then she looks at herself in the dress with the intricate beading, and it fits well – much better than the other one. There’s a little extra room in the bust, and the sleeves are a just a bit too long. But it works –short so she isn’t going to trip or get tangled, but long enough that she doesn’t feel like she looks like a teenager at prom. She can’t help it – she’s already had her reaction. She likes it.

“That’s amazing,” Christa says. “Really great.”

“Thanks,” Happy says, a little baffled. She’d never thought she’d get married – it was never really in the cards for her. But here she is. Ready to walk down the aisle to get married to Toby freakin’ Curtis, the weird kid who tried to convince her, on their first meeting, that he could read her every move. And she’s spent every moment since then proving him wrong.

“Ready to go out and show them?” Christa asks gently.

Happy nods. “Yeah.”

It’s silence when she first walks out, and Happy’s worried. Maybe they don’t think the beading works, that it’s not enough like her. This dress crap is terrible. Maybe she should just wear pants.

“Mommy,” Addie breathes, “I love it.”

Happy lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “You like it?”

“It’s perfect,” Paige says. “I didn’t expect the beads to work, but – Happy, that’s awesome. And,” she grins at her, “when it gets cold, it’ll look great with your leather jacket.”

Happy laughs and turns to Christa. “Now the tricky part. How much is this?”

“Well, it’s last season, so it’s already half price,” she checks the tag, “and it’s a sample. We can get this to you for under three hundred, easy.”

Happy relaxes. “Really?”

Christa nods. “Is this your choice?”

Happy nods. “Yeah. I think it is.”

There are no returns with this dress, since it’s a sample and last season, and it’s the same with Addie’s, but Happy’s confident these dresses are perfect. Even with the slight gaps, Melissa already told Happy she’d help out with the alterations as the wedding gift.

“All set?” Mrs. Marin asks, smiling at her as they check out.

Happy nods. “Yeah. Thank you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Marin!” Addie says, grinning gleefully. She picks up her dress with incredible care. “Have a good day!”

Happy carries her own dress out, excited about a dress like this for the first time in her life.

“Toby’s going to love it,” Paige says as she puts Megan in her seat. “Just wait.”

Happy laughs. “Let’s hope so.”

They don’t get more than a few minutes onto the highway before Paige starts yawning.

“You mind if I nap?” she mumbles. “Getting – I’m really tired.”

“No problem,” Happy says. She checks in the rear view mirror – Addie and Megan are asleep too. “Kids are out, so don’t worry about it.”

“Awesome,” Paige mumbles, and, before long, she’s asleep.

Happy drives home with her favorite radio station on, quiet as background noise, with her thoughts of the wedding – her wedding, to Toby – making the most racket in her mind.

And then she looks back at Addie, with the littlest smile in her sleep. The other car seat looks right in this soccer mom car, balanced almost. But, if her world would go the way she wants it, it’ll be someone around Addie’s age, maybe a little older. A brother. A team mate and play mate, something she never had. Somebody who will round out their family.

She can’t take the smile off her face but, honestly? She doesn’t ever want to.


	76. Addie, 4 years 2 months - Flower Girl Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day has finally come, and Happy thinks Addie might be even more excited than she is. Happy and Toby are getting married today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *not crying not crying not crying* Okay so I started brainstorming this fic in October of last year, outlining in November, writing in December, and publishing in January. And I thought it might hit 60k. Maybe. And here I am, sitting on the other side of 280k and 76 chapters, and I'm floored. I still can't fathom the kindness, support, and communication that's gone on behind the scenes with this fic. From people helping me catch silly typos to telling me how much they love this story, every comment has been valued and every reader has been cherished. I fell so fortunate to be part of a fandom who welcomes new members in with open arms, as I joined later than many and even so people were so kind. Thank you for helping me to write this fic and for always being wonderful with comments and questions. And here comes the end. I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I'm so glad other people enjoy the relationship of Happy and Toby as much as I do. 
> 
> For the ~emotions, I recommend Speechless by The Veronicas as you read.

The number of times she’s been woken up by a catapulting child is reaching the thousands, Happy has realized, but it’s not as bad as being woken up by Toby’s shriek of pain as Addie lands directly on his soft spot for the millionth time.

“Sorry, Daddy,” Addie says, like always, then cuddles into his shoulder.

Happy rolls over to them. “You guys need to stop roughhousing in bed,” she grumbles. “You always land on me.”

“Pretty sure she landed on me,” Toby replies. But he wraps his arm around Addie, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Why are you up so early, baby girl?”

“Because you’re getting married today,” Addie says with an eyeroll that makes her look more like 14 than 4. “And you’ve got to get pretty for Mommy.”

Happy snickers. “Apparently I’m fine as is.”

Addie looks at her. “You’re okay.”

“Hey!” says Toby. “That’s my fiancée you’re talking about!”

“That’s my mommy you’re talking about,” Addie says back defiantly.

“Well, can’t argue with that,” Toby says. He leans in and blows a raspberry into Addie neck and she giggles with such joy that Happy, out of nowhere, feels tears start to gather in the corner of her eyes. A million years and every opportunity in the world, and she still couldn’t have imagined she’d get to have this.

“Mommy’s crying,” Addie says. She rolls herself on top of Happy’s chest. “Mommy, no crying.”

“I’m not crying,” Happy argues. “My eyes are leaking.”

Addie rolls her eyes again, and Happy’s going to have a chat with her preschool about where she learned this. “Mommy, you need to talk about your feelings.”

“I just love you guys a lot,” Happy says. Her eyes flicker over to Toby, and the look he’s giving her is almost more than she can handle. She manages a smile.

“I love you too,” says Addie. She collapses down on Happy’s chest and falls right back to sleep, snoring within seconds.

“How does she do that?” Happy asks in a whisper, looking over at Toby.

He shrugs. “Baby powers.”

“Preschooler,” Happy corrects.

Toby looks horrified. “We’re the parents of a preschooler,” he says. “Oh, god, are we old?”

Happy shrugs, rubbing Addie’s back. “You are. I’m still in my early thirties.” She grins at him.

“I look good for 38,” Toby argues.

Happy grins. “You’re a little old to be getting married, aren’t you?” she asks.

He reaches out at pokes at her side, and Happy jumps. Addie makes a tiny noise like a startled kitten and Toby and Happy freeze.

“Right,” says Happy. “Sleeping kid.”

Toby gives her a look. “I’ll put her back in bed. It’s only six.”

“It’s only six?!” Happy exclaims. “I’m going back to sleep.”

Toby cradles Addie against his shoulder and she doesn’t wake up, only grips at Toby’s shirt with her tiny hand.

“She’s kind of perfect,” Toby says, pushing aside some of her wildly curly black hair. “We did pretty good, didn’t we.”

Happy nods. “Of all the kids we could have gotten,” Happy says, “we get the best one in history.”

Toby presses a kiss to Addie’s forehead, closing his eyes. “Couldn’t love my girls more,” he says, more to himself than to Happy.

Happy dozes off when they leave the room and only reawakens when she feels Toby return to the bed. Without opening her eyes, she rolls over and throws an arm and a leg over Toby’s body.

“You just kicked me in the shins,” he grumbles.

“Get over it,” Happy replies. “You’re marrying me.”

Toby laughs for so long that it forces Happy to sit up and look at him. “What’s so funny, Chuckles?”

“Just,” he keeps laughing, “you’re marrying me. We’re getting married. We have a kid.” He sighs. “It’s like everything I ever hoped for wrapped up in a wedding dress.”

“How do you know I’m wearing a dress?” Happy asks.

He studies her face. “You’re totally wearing a dress,” Toby says. “Mainly because you hate dress pants, but also because you have a weakness for really fancy things”

Happy groans. “I hate that you know that.”

He smiles down at her. “Hey, since I’m getting married today,” he wiggles his eyebrows. “Want to have a little fling before I say ‘I do’?”

Happy stares at him. “You’re really weird.”

He nods. “Is that a no?”

Happy sighs. “Get your ass over here.”

Toby moves toward her.

“Actually,” Happy says, pressing a hand to his chest. He falls against the pillows, knowing from experience not to smack his head on the bed frame. “You can stay there.”

“I can?” Toby asks.

Happy pulls her shirt over her head. It’s actually Toby’s, one from his college days, so she doesn’t mind when it lands on the floor. “Yeah.”

She leans in, kissing him as his arms wrap around her waist, holding his face in her hands.

“We’re getting married today,” she laughs as she throws her underwear somewhere in her room.

“Yeah we are,” says Toby. “Let’s do the whole living in sin thing one more time before you make an honest man of me.”

Happy laughs. “You just had to make it weirder,” she replies.

But they fall together like they were born to connect, and Happy can’t help but think of how lucky they are that they still have their fire in their bones.

~

After a few texts from Paige and Patrick asking them if they’re ever going to make it to the garage before the wedding started, they shower, leave, and manage to get in the car without even running all that late.

“How come we’re not in a big church?” Addie asks. “Like Auntie Paige’s wedding.”

Happy’s not sure how to answer this part – it could be anything from “because we didn’t want to” to “we don’t do the thing that churches like you to do to get married in them,” so she waits until Toby accepts the duty to answer.

“Well, sweetie,” Toby says, “churches are people’s safe places. And the garage is the safe and happy place for all of us.”

It’s so simple and perfect that it even affects Happy.

“Somebody’s emotional today,” Toby says. He reaches out and grabs her hand.

“Shut up,” Happy mumbles. “We’ve been through a lot to get here.”

They arrive and Melissa, looking a little tired but excited, is there to make final alterations on the dress.

“And then I’m going home and grab the kids,” she assures Addie. “Julia and the babies and Mr. Davis will be here after that.”

Addie nods. “Good!”

There’s adjustments and last-minute additions and phone calls into their favorite pizza place to make sure they’re ready to get them the pies at 7:30 sharp, but they’re ready.

“Cake!” Paige says, eyes widening. “We forgot to pick up the cake!”

Happy, who is wondering who exactly is the bride here, waves her off. “Paige, we picked up the cake last night. Remember.”

Paige visibly calms. “Right. Of course.”

Happy raises an eyebrow. “You getting much sleep?”

“Of course not,” Paige replies. “Five month old. We never sleep.”

Happy does her makeup and Paige feeds Megan, and they sit in silence. Happy appreciates it – she doesn’t often get this kind of quiet, and it grows when Megan falls asleep almost immediately.

It doesn’t last long.

“Not to freak you out,” says Sylvester, holding his hands in the air as he walks into the room where Paige and Happy are holed up. “But Walter lost the rings.”

Happy does her best not to react. “Did Walter lose the rings or did you, Toby, Cabe, and Walter do something stupid and you’re blaming Walter because it’s easiest?”

Sylvester frowns. “No comment.”

Happy sighs. “Of course,” she says. “Only course of action is to go find them.” Sylvester blinks. “Come on, Sly, what are you waiting for?”

Sylvester nods and darts off, leaving Paige and Happy to get started on the hair.

“You’re not freaking out,” says Paige, sliding a pin into Happy’s hair. “Why are you so calm?”

Happy shrugs. “Because this whole wedding thing is going to be more for Toby, Addie, and you than it is for me.”

“You’ve got a point,” Paige says, bouncing the pinned curls to make sure they’ll stay. “I’m just excited about wearing a cute dress.”

Like on cue, Addie comes bounding into the room in her own cute dress, Patrick looking a little exhausted but just as excited.

“Come back here, Addie Grace!” he says, swinging her into his arms as he laughs. The laughter stops when he gets a look at Happy. “Oh, my.”

“Hey, Dad,” Happy says. The look on his face is enough to get Happy choked up, but then she sees Addie in the most princess like flower girl dress, and it hits Happy like a train.

“I haven't seen such a beautiful bride since your mother,” Patrick says, his voice breaking.

“Mommy’s the prettiest,” Addie announces. “Mommy, can Auntie Paige do my hair like yours?”

“It’s not quite long enough, baby,” Happy says. Patrick settles Addie in Happy’s lap, and Addie wraps her arms around Happy’s waist.

“Then different hair!” Addie says. “Auntie Paige, what kind of hair?”

“I can twist it and then pin it up,” says Paige. “It's not going to be all the way up, but it’ll look a little like Mommy’s.”

Addie nods authoritatively. “Twisty pin,” she agrees.

Patrick leans in and presses a kiss to Addie’s head, then Happy’s. “Toby’s not going to know what hit him,” he says with a grin.

“He never does,” Paige mutters.

Happy blushes. “Can it, Dineen.”

Patrick coughs. “Well, uh. I’ll be outside. You girls look amazing.”

Paige shoots him a smile. “Thanks, Patrick.”

He looks at Happy, the silence speaking for him. “Happy, I –” He cuts himself off.

“I know, Dad,” Happy says quietly. “Thanks.”

Patrick leaves, and it’s quiet again until Addie badgers Happy into putting on some music.

Addie drums out the beats of the songs on the radio on Happy’s shoulders as Paige does her hair. “Put Hurricane on,” Addie insists. “I like that one.”

Happy groans. “Addie Grace, there are much better songs to sing.”

“Daddy likes that one,” she says, giving Happy that look that’s Toby’s exact know-it-all expression.

Happy sighs. “We’ll put it on.”

Scorpions blares through the room, and Addie has to be reminded not to dance too excitedly.

“Your hair, Addie,” Paige says. “I can’t do your hair if you’re too wiggly.”

Addie frowns. “No more dancing?”

“You can still drum,” Happy says. She’s convinced there’s going to be bruises on her shoulders before the day is over, but the way Addie’s face lights up. When the music changes to Free Fallin’, Addie starts singing along.

“I can’t believe you let your four year old memorize these lyrics.”

“Toby,” Happy corrects. “Toby lets her memorize these lyrics.”

“You don’t change the station,” Paige says with a grin. She pins one more curl up on Addie’s head, and suddenly there’s a miserable wail from the other side of the room.

“And she’s up,” Paige says, sighing. “Addie, is this okay?”

Addie nods. “I like my hair,” she announces.

“Good,” Paige kisses her forehead. “Because I have to go get your cousin.”

Baby Megan’s shriek is louder than Addie can handle, and she wrinkles her nose.

“Mommy,” she says very seriously, “babies are very loud.”

“Yes they are,” Happy replies. “You were just as loud.”

“Was not,” Addie says.

“You were too,” Happy insists. “Your dad once recorded you screaming for five straight minutes.”

Addie giggles and wraps her arms and legs around Happy’s torso. “Mommy, I love you,” she mumbles against Happy’s shirt.

Happy wraps her arms around Addie’s back, holding her as close as possible. “I love you so much, Addie Grace,” Happy says. Because she didn’t hear it anywhere near enough as a kid, and she wants to make sure Addie gets tired of the words.

Paige comes back out with five month old Megan in her tiny white dress.

“I know she’s too young to understand,” Paige says, propping Megan on her hip. “But she’s too cute for words right now.”

“Does Baby Meg feel sad she doesn’t have hair?” Addie asks. She gingerly touches her own hair. “She can’t have pretty hair for the wedding.”

“Well, no hair,” says Paige. She leans over and picks up a little headband with a bow. “But she can wear this.”

Addie nods. “Very cute.”

Happy’s music is interrupted by her alarm.

“Half an hour,” Paige says, grinning. “Addie, will you play with Megan in her play pen while I help your mom with her dress?”

Addie nods, sliding off of Happy’s lap. “Okay.”

Happy settles Addie in the play pen.

“Wonder if your husband found my rings,” Happy muses, stepping into her dress. “That would be awkward. Ring bearer walks down the aisle empty handed.”

“You don’t have a ring bearer,” Paige says, zipping Happy up.

“It’s the principle of the thing,” Happy says. She turns to the mirror, getting a good look at herself in the dress. With Melissa’s alterations and the hair, Happy – well, she looks like she’s getting married. “Damn.”

“Damn,” Addie repeats.

Happy winces. “Don’t tell your dad I said that in front of you.”

Addie nods. “Okay.” She’s quiet for a minute. “You look very pretty, Mommy.”

“Thanks, Addie,” Happy says. She leans down to pick Addie up out of the play pen, and Megan’s lower lip wobbles.

“Paige, your child is whimpering,” Happy says.

“Can you get her?” Paige asks. “My hair just fell out of the bun.”

“You want me to pick up your pukey infant in my wedding dress?” Happy asks. “Hell no.”

Paige laughs. “And to think you said you didn’t care about a dress.”

“I didn’t,” Happy says, checking her lipstick in the mirror, “until I saw how great I looked.”

“Think about Toby’s face when you walk down that aisle,” Paige says as she fixes her hair. “He’s going to lose his mind.”

“Daddy always thinks she’s pretty,” Addie says.

Happy checks the time. “The guys are going to find the rings, right?”

Paige sighs. “We can solve multiple world-ending crises,” she begins, “but, for the life of us, we can’t find a couple of rings. I can’t guarantee anything.”

Ten minutes later, Walter sticks his head in the room. “We found the rings, and, for the record, Cabe lost them. Not me,” he says.

"Where were they?" Paige asks.

Walter looks like he's fighting a grin. "Tim found them underneath Addie's jean jacket."

"So Toby lost the rings, basically," Paige says. "That's funny."

“Either way, we can begin.” He looks at Paige, a little stunned as he takes her in. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” she says. “Take our baby before Happy has a dress crisis.”

Walter nods and picks up Megan, and she promptly bursts into tears. “I wish you wouldn’t cry on me while I’m getting ready for the wedding, Megan, but I know you’re having a strange day,” Walter says, bouncing Megan. “I’ll go calm her down.” He presses a soft kiss to the top of Megan’s bald head, and Happy thinks he’s taken on this dad thing better than anyone could have predicted.

Paige nods at him, then takes Addie’s hand. “You ready?”

Happy shrugs. “Just a big party with all my favorite people. No different than New Year’s or Halloween.”

Paige holds back a laugh. “I was kind of talking to Addie.”

Happy feels herself going just a touch pink. “Oh.”

Paige takes Addie outside to get her ready for her flower girl walk, and to make sure the rest of the people in the wedding are ready, and Happy finds herself on her own, with no one around her, for the first time in ages. In the short time she’s alone, Happy half forgets what all the hubbub is about. She gets stuck in a typical thought process – how best to create a car run on sustainable fuel – while she waits. It’s not until her father shows up at the door in a tuxedo and starts crying – actually crying – that Happy processes that she’s about to make this massive step official. That they’re doing this.

That this is all real.

“Let’s do this,” Happy says, exhaling slowly. Patrick holds out his hand.

“Everybody is waiting for us,” he says, voice so steady and even that it has to be forced. “Are you ready?”

Happy nods. She thought she would be ready to run or bail, but there’s no commitment like having a baby. They've done this already in all but name. Even so –

“Was Mom nervous?” she blurts out.

“Before our wedding?” he asks. “Yeah. Everybody is. It’s part of getting married.” He smiles at her, patting the top of her hand.

Happy nods. “It’s like I put on a dress and I officially became an adult.”

Patrick laughs. “Well, you look beautiful,” he says. He pauses as the song changes. “That’s our cue.”

Happy doesn’t know the name of the song that’s playing, but she trusts Toby to choose something nice. It’s familiar, almost sounding traditional. It’s almost laughable – she and Toby have been anything but traditional.

“Don’t let me trip,” Happy says, the possibility suddenly very real and very scary.

“I’ve got you,” says Patrick. “Don’t worry.”

Happy plays with the ridiculous wrench bouquet, wondering if it’s as funny and clever as she and Toby thought or if she’ll regret it later when she sees the pictures. But when they reach the top of the stairs and she sees Addie holding Toby’s hand at the end of the aisle, everything else stops. The panic, the worry, the nerves. All she sees, all she knows, is her family.

Addie drops her hand from Toby’s and starts clapping, and Toby’s clearly doing his best to hold it together. Happy’s a little giddy over the way he’s looking so damn speechless.

The aisle is short, insisted on by Happy because of how worried she was about panicking, so Patrick is kissing her cheek and sitting down within a few moments.

“Hi,” Toby says, his eyes shining.

“Hi,” Happy replies. She doesn’t remember how to say anything else.

“Daddy, tell Mommy she’s pretty,” Addie says in a stage whisper. Everyone – Addie’s friends from school, Toby and Happy’s friends from Addie, the team – laughs. Because they understand it. These people understand them.

Happy’s whole family is up on that roof, Sylvester holding baby Megan in his lap next to Patrick, while Paige and Walter stand as the witnesses. Ray is already teary.

“I can’t believe this is the second wedding I’ve officiated for this time,” he says. “Oh, you guys are awesome. Thanks for inviting me to do this. I’m so glad I get to be the officiant in such a positive way.”

“Ray?” says Paige. “Let’s move it along.”

“Right,” says Ray. He clears his throat and checks his hand. Happy tries not to groan when she notices that Ray’s taken notes and written what looks like an agenda on the palm of his hand. “Happy and Toby have been together for, what, six years? Seven?”

“Six,” Toby says.

“Right, six,” Ray says. “And they have a beautiful daughter –”

“Thank you,” Addie says, grinning up to Ray.

“A beautiful daughter,” Ray continues, “who is the perfect mix of the two of them. There’s not much else we can say about Toby and Happy, especially since I got this degree from the internet, so let’s let them speak for themselves.”

Toby nods. “Me first?” he asks.

Happy nods. Words still escape her.

Toby takes a deep breath. “Happy,” he begins, “you and Addie are my world. I thought I knew who I was before you, but I think I was just fighting to survive without really knowing what it was to live.” He interrupts himself with a light laugh. “God, you just look so beautiful.” He grins. “I keep forgetting what I was going to say.” He exhales sharply. “Oh, this is harder than I thought.”

Addie pulls on his suit. “Daddy, I can help,” he says.

He picks her up and settles her on his hip. “You’re right,” he says. “She does help.” Happy grins. “Anyway,” Toby says. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you do, but I’d do it a million times over if it means I get to keep you. I’ve loved you for longer than I can express, and you had my baby, which, I mean,” he looks at Addie, “there’s nothing more awesome that could have happened.”

“Yeah,” says Happy, smiling, the words stuck in her throat. She takes Addie’s tiny hand in hers. “She’s pretty awesome.”

“Mommy, it’s Daddy’s turn,” Addie says seriously. “You can’t interrupt.”

Happy nods, a nervous laugh escaping her lips. “Right. Of course.”

“I just love you two so much,” Toby says, quiet for a moment as he looks between Happy and Addie. “And I completely forget everything else I was going to say.” He exhales. “I’m just so happy you chose me.”

Happy smiles at him, and squeezes Addie’s hand.

“Happy?” Ray says.

“I’m not good at this kind of thing,” Happy admits. The words stick like honey in the back of her throat – not because she’s scared to say them, but because this feels so big and she doesn’t want to say anything wrong. “But I just want to say that I’m so glad that I get to have this family and get to be part of something so great. I – I really love you,” Happy says, and Toby reaches out to hold her hand, squeezing gently. It calms her down, makes the words flow. “I think we made the best family in the world, and even though it was out of order, according to some people, I think we did it right.” She smiles at him. “This is where I want to be – forever. Next to you.” Toby makes a strange noise of surprise. “I just want to get married because this vow part is freaking me out.”

“Can I say something?” Addie asks, tapping Ray on the shoulder.

“Of course,” Ray says. “Proceed, Mini Miss Quinn.”

She beams at him. “I just love my mommy and daddy very much,” Addie says. “And I am happy they get to be married. But I’m mostly excited that my daddy gets to say mommy’s his wife. He’s wanted to do that for a long time.”

Toby looks at her. “Where did you get that from?”

“I think she overheard us talking,” Patrick says, smiling. “Kid doesn’t forget a thing. Just like her mom.”

Addie nods. “Now kiss.”

“Hey!” Ray jokes. ‘”That’s my line.” He boops Addie’s nose, and she giggles, squirming in Toby’s arms. Toby sets her down, and Addie runs to sit in Patrick’s lap, where she can bounce and giggle without worry.

“Happy Quinn,” Ray says, “do you take Toby Curtis to be your husband?”

“Yeah,” she blurts out, because she wants this to happen, wants to stop waiting.

“What, too good for ‘I do’?” Toby asks, taking her other hand.

“Don’t be a jerk,” Happy laughs.

“Yeah, but I’m your jerk.”

Ray clears his throat. “You guys are sort of interrupting my piece of the ceremony, here.”

“Right,” Happy says, trying not to smile. “Go ahead, Ray.”

“Toby Curtis,” Ray says, “do you take Happy Quinn to be your wife?”

Toby nods. “I do,” he says.

“Then,” and Happy feels like the split second pause extends into eternity, “you two are married before the eyes of your family and friends,” Ray says. “You may kiss the bride.”

“More like the bride may kiss the husband,” Toby says.

Happy pulls him close and kisses him to keep a million possible stupid comments from coming out of Toby’s mouth. She rests her hands on the side of his face, and smiles into the kiss.

They break apart, arms still around each other to the cheers of their friends and family, when Addie wraps her arms around both of their legs. Happy leans down and picks her up, and she and Toby kiss either side of Addie’s face. Happy hears the clicking of a half dozen cameras.

“You’re married!” Addie says gleefully.

As big as the moment should be, Happy doesn’t feel much different. The nerves she’d built up about this big change seem unwarranted – this is where she’s been the whole time. She’s elated to have Addie and Toby in her arms, to have their family be connected as much as any family could be, but they feel the same as they were before.

“Welcome to the Quinns, everybody!” Ray says. “Let’s start the party.”

“No,” says Paige, holding up a hand. “Pictures. Happy’s in a dress. I’m getting shots of this.”

Pictures for this wedding go much more quickly than for Paige and Walter’s, as Estelle keeps snapping shots during off moments instead of insisting on specific poses. It feels easier, especially with Addie darting in and out.

“Addie, sweetie, come over here,” Cabe says. “Mom and Dad need to take a couple of pictures themselves.”

Addie pouts. “No me?”

“Just in a few,” he assures her as he picks her up. He looks a little hilarious holding this girl in a puffball of a dress.

“Now that your child is out of the picture,” Paige says, holding up her phone, “kiss.”

“Excuse me?” Toby asks.

“Kiss each other,” Paige repeats. “Sly got great shots of your first kiss as a married couple, and I know Estelle’s our photographer, but I want some for me.”

Happy sighs, and when she kisses Toby for the cameras, she flips Paige off.

“Damn it, Happy!” Paige exclaims.

Pictures end and, at that moment, DJ Ray hits the music. It starts with dance pop as everyone gets settled for their pizza dinners, but Addie insists on a dance with Happy to her favorite Cascada song, which Happy hadn't realized Addie had.

Toby walks over to Ray as Happy spins Addie on the dance floor, and the song changes from Ke$ha to something Happy recognizes in a split second. It sends a wave of emotions through her heart, and she’s half stunned for a moment.

“You still have this song?” she asks, baffled.

Paige subtly comes up behind Happy and pulls Addie away.

“I bought the entire album that night,” Toby says, holding out a hand. “It was the first time we ever danced together,” Toby says quietly. “Our first song. So I figured,” he shrugs, that hopeful, wonderful smile on his face, “I thought it would be perfect for our first dance as husband and wife.”

Happy nods, taking his hand and settling her other hand on his shoulder. _You Are the Man_ floats into her skin and through her heart, and she realizes without meaning to that they are dancing the same way they had on that college campus all those years ago. Before Addie, before they knew where they were. Before Happy knew she loved him.

“I love you,” Happy says, letting go of his hands, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She rests her head on her chest.

“I’m so glad you let your shields down,” Toby says, and she can tell he’s halfway to tears.

“Me too,” Happy manages.

“You crying?” Toby asks, laughter in his words.

“Only a little bit,” Happy says. “Can’t ruin my makeup.”

Toby leans down at the same time as Happy tilts her chin up, and they kiss slowly, barely even swaying to the music.

The song ends, and they pull apart to see Addie with the hugest grin on her face.

“You guys just look super cute together,” Addie says, beaming at them.

“That’s because your mom is the most beautiful woman on the planet,” Toby says. Sometimes he’s just so honest, so real, that it used to scare the living daylights out of Happy.

But he never left her, and he’s standing here with her ring on his finger and their daughter beaming at them.

She’s not scared of anything anymore.

She leans up and kisses Toby again, then steps away to kneel to the group and open her arms. Addie runs at her with a grin and Happy twirls her, the little flower girl dress fluttering in the slight wind blowing across the roof.

“My girls,” Toby says, wrapping an arm around Happy’s waist. He presses a kiss to Addie’s nose. “I couldn’t love you more.”

“I love you times infinity infinities!” Addie insists.

Happy laughs, tucking a rogue curl behind Addie’s ear. She spent so much of her life focusing on just trying to survive, just going day to day. And now she’s standing here with the two people who have given her life to look forward to instead of just fighting each moment, given her a universe that she never imagined could be possible. “In that case, Addie Grace,” Happy says, feeling so overwhelmed that she can barely speak, “I love you times infinity to the power of infinity.”

“Daddy’s right,” Addie says, drumming to the beat of the song on Happy’s shoulders, “you do have superpowers.”

“No, Addie, honey, it’s a math term,” Happy says. “It means –”

“Let’s put a cap on the math talk tonight, shall we?” Toby says. His eyes are sparkling in the light, mirroring the excitement in Addie’s hazel eyes. “That’s work stuff. Not appropriate for the setting, you know.” He grins as Addie hops out of Happy’s arms and reaches for Toby’s free hand. “I did just get married.”

“Yeah?” Happy says. She hasn’t smiled this much in her life.

Toby leans in and kisses her. “I think I could get used to being Mr. Quinn-Curtis.”

“You better be,” Happy says as Toby twirls her with one hand and Addie with the other, “because you’re stuck with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect an epilogue during the holiday season :)


End file.
